Do You Take Yourself on Dates?

I love to take myself on dates! I agree that it totally lets you explore your new city, and find things that really make you content- a great form of self care :) It is also fun to have these favorite places that you can take new friends to, or visiting family/friends. I think it is important for one’s mental health to do this!! I have for sure taken myself to a Broadway show, and really want to try your book and a bar date. Sounds perfect!

xx Libby
https://premedwearspearls.blogspot.com/

yes!! I make it a point to take a PTO day from work once every three months or so to go to a movie matinee. I always order a glass of red wine, a small popcorn, and a caesar salad. I usually follow this with a bit of tipsy shopping in the neighborhood…and then I’m home in time for dinner with the family!

Reading this article made me realize I have been dating myself since college. I have less time for it now that I am a wife and mom but over the last three years, I have had to go to Manhattan from N.J. to see doctors fairly regularly. I always try to turn the doctor appt days into days where I get to do what I want in my favorite city. I’ve explored new museums, eating burgers alone at my favorite bar and taken long walks in Central Park. It always turns appointments I’m nervous about into days I look forward to!

I very solidly enjoy experiencing life solo and appreciate how I can observe the world — and its sights, smells, tastes, and sounds — in a way I’m unable to when accompanied by another person. I’m single, and 75% of my dates are ones I take myself on. Twenty-five percent are with friends or romantic interests (and this increases to only 50-60% when I’m in a relationship). In our extroverted society, this often feels fringe… but I’m glad to see from these comments there exists a thriving number of individuals who enjoy their own company.

I’m such a big fan of solo movie dates, especially the first screening of the day, if you can swing it. There’s usually very few people, mostly thriving retirees who also discovered the magic of the daytime pre-noon matinee. Often, you’ll be joining other solo movie goers, making the experience more enjoyable, like you’re all in it together. Most theaters will also have a discount prices for pre-noon screenings, which makes me feel less guilty about going by myself. Sometimes, I sneak in coffee and a pastry, which makes the whole experience all the more dangerous and exciting!

I once confessed to a guy that I would love to travel somewhere, but had no company, to which he replied that he once had a similar mindset, but then realised he would wait forever for everything to align with his friends and just went alone. And ever since then his words are what I would remember when feeling reserved about doing something alone. I used to be afraid to do anything without friends, fearing other people judgement mostly, and my first experiences travelling solo were rather miserable, constantly missing someone to share the experience with. But somehow with time I adjusted and started to cherish these solo experiences and even took them as sort of a challenge of how far I could push my boundaries. These days I am perfectly happy to go to movies, exhibitions, concerts, etc alone, even if dining solo is somehow still a bit intimidating at times. In fact, now it is sometimes even harder to have a date/meeting with someone else, as it then feels that the other person’s experiences take over mine, emotionally. Yet I look forward to explore and push the boundaries of these feelings too, hopefully with someone special, somewhen soon :)
Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly, Kim! I really enjoy reading your perspective here on COJ.

This post and the comments are so inspiring. I’m terrible at dating myself. I get super anxious and self-conscious. I think it goes back to younger days when I felt like a target for unwanted advances by strange men. This year, I’ve made it a personal goal to see a movie alone – something I’ve never done in 41 years. I’ll be adding many of these ideas to my list as well!

When I went to NYC in October I got off the train from DC at 6:15, dropped my things at my hotel at 6:30 and then looked at my phone to see what was happening in Times Square (hah!). I saw ‘Hamilton’ and decided to walk over and see if they sold tickets at the window for no-shows (ya never know!). Well, I don’t think they do that, but they do sell standing room only seats and for $40 (I was 5th or 6th in line), I got a standing room ticket that I turned into a seated one ~15 minutes into the show when there were actual no shows and a few empty seats right in front of where I was standing. If I could do this for Hamilton, they’ve got to offer it for other places, right??

When I’m overwhelmed I’ll go see a movie at the local art house theater. I’m working up the courage to go to a local A+ restaurant bar with a book. I just don’t want to deal with some man coming up and bothering me but hopefully the bartender will have my back.

When I was about 12 I would go to the library and check out teenbeat magazine and go to a diner after order a plate of fries and a coke. Reading about hot boys over a plate of fries was so decadently wonderful. I still do this, but it is nowhere near as cool, reading home decor.

I lived in New York in my early twenties and made approximately $1250 per month. After paying $825 for rent and ~$200 for groceries, there wasn’t much left for extras. I worked in a bookstore and had Thursdays off. Those days became my “movie & a walk” days – I took myself to matinee showings and walked when I could (to save on subway fare and to explore new neighborhoods). Watching a movie in the middle of a work day always felt like luxury, even when I had very little. I look back now and am proud – in enacting that small ritual it seems to me that I was saying, “yes, I do matter” even during a time in my life when I often felt very small.

Even if I don’t go OUT on a date with myself, I have been putting in an effort on the days I either work from home or have to stay home on a weekend because of weather/ chores/ etc to put on an outfit I love, do my hair and makeup a bit, and look nice JUST FOR ME. Always a mood booster :)

I’ve been going out a lot by myself recently, not really by choice but due to health problems and not being able to plan ahead well. I try to go places I don’t know well, just to see something different. What I like is that:
– You can do exactly what you want, which feels luxurious.
– You notice more than if you were with someone.
– Seeing different surroundings can lead to great ideas, even epiphanies.
– You can then report about what you discover back to others, making for interesting conversations.
– Side benefit: Knowing your area comes in really handy when making smalltalk.

I love taking myself out on dates – nobody else is going to do it right now. ? I also finally got to a point where I didn’t want to have to wait for someone to go with me (most of my friends are married with kids) and I was tired of missing out on things I wanted to do. I’ve seen Broadway shows, gone to museums, movie theaters, and I even went to a round of the PGA tour two years ago (I don’t even really like golf, but my dad had a free ticket he couldn’t use and I figured, why not? I ended up really enjoying it!). I haven’t conquered going to a sit-down restaurant by myself yet…maybe soon. ?

My husband and I have young twins (constant work) and try to give each other alone time whenever possible, but it often turns into doing things for the family – running errands, grocery shopping, etc. Once, though, my husband insisted that I take a day to myself while on vacation, to do whatever I wanted. It was amazing – there was nothing to do but enjoy myself and no one else to please! It’s something we do on all trips now, for both of us. In Europe I’ve taken trains to nearby cities, in New York I took myself shopping and out to lunch, and I try to always get to a museum or gallery. With small children it’s so easy to get caught up and forget who you are, and those small moments alone, with no one to please but yourself, make all the difference.

I took a night off by myself to sit at a bar and read a book. I ordered a whiskey cocktail and the perfect cheeseburger and didn’t have to share my fries with anyone, and there were two other solo ladies at the bar near me, also enjoying their books (and one of them ordered the same cocktail I did). It was such a sanity-saving, luxurious evening and even just remembering it makes me feel less stressed. Must do it again soon!

I much prefer going to museums alone. There are always parts I want to skim over and places I want to linger, and when I’m on my own I can do just what I want. The first time I went to a museum on my own was when I studied abroad in Madrid 15 years ago – my friends had all already been to Reina Sofia so I took myself and spent maybe a half hour just staring at Guernica. I was so happy not to be rushed. As an adult, I have certain holidays as a government employee that my friends and husband don’t get – perfect time for museum trips!

I take myself on dates all the time! I also sketch wherever I go for work (@ramblingsketcher on instagram if you’re interested) so sometimes a day of work walking around the city and painting can feel a lot like a date with myself! Also do museums, movies, shows, and even travel solo. While it can be nice to have a buddy, it’s also nice to not have to answer to anyone else and to have the opportunity to decide exactly what you want to do at any given moment. It’s an underappreciated luxury.

When my son was around 2-3 years old and we lived in New Jersey (transplants from California), for about a year, once a month, I would take him into NYC, drop him off at my husband’s office and pick a neighborhood to explore alone for most of the day. Wandering, window-shopping, lunch, afternoon tea, museums, Central Park – it was the best ever. I got some much needed time to nurture the non-mom part of myself. And my son got to spend an afternoon at Daddy’s work. He played under the desk, watched cartoons, and was doted on by the assistant.

I loove to take myself on dates to the drive in! One year it was a three movie showing of all Will Ferrell comedies so I stopped at the store first to get myself a bag of white cheddar popcorn and family size Rollos. I sat in the front with the seat reclined, speakers in both windows, and laughed at all the inappropriate humor. It was a great night.

A while back, when I was single and living in the city, the company I worked for had Friday’s off. Every Friday, after work I had the afternoon to myself and I always made a point to spend it doing something for myself, like having a lovely lunch with a book, going shopping or taking an afternoon yoga class… I miss those Friday afternoons to myself :)

Love this so much! New York is the best city for this too. I used to take long, meandering walks for hours after finishing work on the weekends, around 5 or 6 (when I lived there). I’d start in the West Village and wander through SoHo and Tribeca or through Chelsea and into the East Village. It was the best and I got to know my way around the city (without a map) so well. My favorite thing to do was gaze inside all of the beautiful apartment windows!

I used to have qualms about eating by myself, but discovered the bar at Buvette is actually BEST enjoyed solo, preferably with a glass of rosé and a croque monsieur. Such a great view, wonderful people watching and taking in the buzz and hum of all of the restaurant is fun. :)

Rather than think of them as personal dates, I more throw myself a birthday-party-for-one every year on my half-birthday. No one has expectations of doing anything with you on your half birthday, so I take the day off and do exactly what I feel like doing to celebrate and treat myself. Let’s just say it usually includes donuts and massages.

These all sound nd like excellent ideas. I’ve been craving some time alone lately. I’m rarely alone. I think I’ll add in some of these things. Going to a museum alone sounds perfect. There is a creperie I walk past every day and I think how I’d love to stop in on my way home from work one day. This post has inspired me to do it.