PREVIOUS ARTICLE
What are yours? By Jessica Olien.
P.S. Things that should exist for single people, and packing styles.
Lesser Known Love Languages
Subscribe
63 Comments
Cat bringing and sharing important things like cows having best friends.
Not revealing the ending of a good show.
Wine bringing!!!!!
Ok this might sound a bit mean, but a very big gesture for me to show someone I really love him is to clean his house, wash the plates etc etc. Usually I don’t appreciate the way life wants us to do this kind of things in a house (just because I am a woman?) so if you see me doing these things in someone else’s home, it really means I love them and respect them!
Heating up a mug of tea for me. Before we sit down to watch a show each night, my husband will silently microwave a mug, put a teabag in it, and wordlessly bring it to me.
Memes.
I might be overthinking something he said (still early stages for us) or old insecurities come out and attack me. But then suddenly I see something silly from him on my phone and it’s all back to normal.
A clean house at the end of the day.
Surprise chocolate from the grocery store.
A car with a full gas tank.
Uninterrupted shower. (The kids!)
Listening.
+1 filling up with gas ♥️♥️♥️
-grandparents clipping news articles and mailing them
-watching ANOTHER meg ryan movie with me
-getting up this time with the baby
-ordering his preferred pizza instead of mine (bbq…why?!!)
-treating for a manicure
-starting the tea kettle
-remembering special days even when i don’t
Ferry boats.
We took a family apple picking trip yesterday afternoon and my husband, with a twinkle in his eye, suggested we take the ferry there. We were handsomely rewarded with a bald eagle sighting.
To me it was very much about helping out when coming home from a 12+ hour work day. Coming into the house, saying hi to the kids and partner and then doing the dishes, lunches for the kids, laundry and getting the kids to bed. Seeing her sitting in bed with a book or texting with friends, or sometimes even just fall asleep made me very happy.
But she decided that this wasn’t for her so she left me. So none of that wonderful serenity anymore.
Wow I’m sorry to hear that. We don’t go in expecting the worst, but when the worst happens it’s a devastating blow. I can certainly tell you this YOU are what women today WANT!! Men like you are NOT RARE!! Don’t be afraid to step out and give love another shot average people shut down and call it quits….you brother are NOT nor have EVER been AVERAGE.
Much love and respect from one king to another! Remember not every woman is out there to do evil and harm.
i don’t know you sir but i had to write something .. i felt your pain through your words . i get it . the frustration we feel when our loved ones tell us that they are looking for something else . i believe that sharing pain makes it feel less “exclusive ” , less lonely . i hope this helps . i hope you find someone that will loved you and cherish you for who you are because you deserve it , we all do .
– when my love gives me kiss before he heads off to work and I’m laying in bed.
– when he brings home wine while I’m cooking and plays DJ instead of turning on sports. And we chat all through dinner, making, eating and linger at the table.
– when I was working long hours and he would pick me up to drive me to my car (3 minutes away) so that I would leave work and come home. It’s such a tiny drive it always made me laugh and laugh which is the best thing at the end of a stressful day.
– catch ups with good friends where you don’t sensor anything and leave feeling a 100 pounds lighter. And usually so many belly laughs that I wonder how I don’t have a six pack by now!
– when friends tell their kids that you’re coming to visit and they’re so excited when you show up!
Recently overheard in small town book shop:
(Browser to shopkeeper) “How are you today?”
Shopkeeper: “Great!!!”
Browser: “Wow! Why so great?”
Shopkeeper: “My husband brought me a latté this morning. Lattés are my love language!”
Made my day too! ?
Love this so much. It is the simple little things that mean so much.
I swear my husband’s love language is video games. If I actively watch him play video games, share opinions about what I think he should play next, and research things for him, he feels so dang loved and it’s wonderful.
+1 for this. It took me a long time to appreciate what video games are to my boyfriend, but he loves nothing more than when we’re playing a game together that we both enjoy. I’m hyper-competitive, but I’ll never match his gaming reflexes so it can be really frustrating for me, but we’ve found a few that work great. “Overcooked” is a favorite for us to play together!
my husband cooks for us. he knows i don’t enjoy cooking and with two little kids (5 & 1), it’s nearly impossible. he takes it upon himself to do all of the grocery shopping and cooking for our family. each time he feeds me, i feel an endless love from him. he’s very type a, and knowing how much love he puts into our weekly menu & grocery list, and the research he puts into feeding me, is so unbelievably sexy. food is the way to my heart, and he took it from the beginning.
Loved every beautiful statement?
Looks like I picked the right fella. Sub guinea pig for cat and this is our relationship. Swoon.
current love language in my house… LIZZO.
When our yoga teacher rubs our feet at the end of class.
Oh that’s the best!
My husband travels every week and on each flight he gets a chocolate bar for having status. He brings home every single one and gives them to me <3
I make a smoothie for breakfast every morning. There's usually a little bit leftover that doesn't fit into my mug so I pour him a small glass. When we got married he wrote down a list of things that he loves about me and on that list was "smoothie bits."
Ah! Loved this. Food is a great love language, but these are both so extra thoughtful. Thanks for sharing. :)
When your boyfriend buys himself headphones only so you dont have to listen to the god awful noise that is video games. Win-Win!
When my husband hands me coffee in the morning regardless of how crazy the kids are being it’s a moment of tranquility and feeling truly loved. We don’t have an electronic machine so making coffee requires boiling water and grinding beans – basically effort- so it feels so intentional. On top of that he know just how I like it. Is there any truer love than knowing what you need and how you need it?
Re-filling the water filter so your roommate always has enough water
Leaving a bowl of candy on the front desk for guests
Stopping for a sales associate at a makeup counter
Over-communication when discussing something serious so nothing’s misunderstood
Leaving people off of cc or bcc when they don’t need to be on an email
Saving someone a seat
When my husband of 30 years puts his hand on my knee and gives it a light squeeze….I melt every time.
I put my heart into keeping our house clean and tidy. It keeps the feeling in our home so lovely and serene that it all but hugs us back when we return to it each day. Never was there a softer landing spot.
Carrie!
I need help. My apartment is clean and tidy and organized because I have a roommate but my room is a mess. I hate that. How do you motivate yourself to clean when you just want to jump in bed after a long day?
My trick is I’m always cleaning things as I see they need done… so I never have to do a lot at once. I save my biggest, “regularly scheduled” chores for Friday after work, which are vacuuming/mopping and rotating our bed linens. I use rewards as motivation, like promising myself a nice shower and finally getting into my sweats when I’m done cleaning, or a glass of wine and my favorite tv show with my husband! Plus nothing beats capping off a stressful 50 hour week like relaxing in a clean and cozy home. A lit candle finishes things off nicely.
S, for me, all of those things are like being in a cold room and slightly uncomfortable, you could make the effort for one minute to get a sweater and then revel in comfort and luxurious warmth – or you can languish in slight, irritated discomfort for ever. Will you sacrifice one whole minute to improve a hundred others. That’s the question.
i can give advice for that, start with a fresh clean room, and do a little everyday to keep it that way, and dont be lazy…. purge.
S,
For years now I’ve been cleaning on Fridays after work. It never takes longer than an hour, and I have a whole house to do. I usually listen to music to pump myself up, and afterwards I order out or have something indulgent for dinner while watching great TV. I think of cleaning as the last hour of the work week. It flies by when you know the weekend begins as soon as you’re done with cleaning. It also means you have the whole weekend to enjoy your space at its cleanest and calmest, as opposed to a few hours each evening after work. A clean, calm space all weekend long is so cozy.
Take your time getting your room to a clean state. Days, weeks, however long you need to slowly get your room to a good place. Then start a routine where you tidy up regularly. You’ll love it! (An easy first step might be to make your bed each morning.)
Rachel Wilkerson Miller sums it up well: https://www.buzzfeed.com/rachelwmiller/friday-nights-are-the-best-time-to-do-chores
All of these are like tiny little hugs. Made me smile.
Mine are, in no particular order:
-Opening and then handing me a cold beer
-Watching someone who really loves to cook do their thing
-Cheese
-The chirp noises my cat makes when she’s super content
-A Hamilton sing along
-A chocolate malt
-When the Avett Brothers play “Laundry Room” during a live show
-Giving a little gift that’s perfect for the recipient
-Someone leaning their head on yours for just a second after you’ve laid your head on their shoulder
-Someone performing a little act of kindness in a hectic place (like an airport)
-Mom’s grilled cheese
The Avett Brothers are definitely its own love language in our house.
Bringing the cat! I feel so seen lol.
me too!
Me three :-)
Last night during the boys bedtime routine my husband turned to me and said, ‘I’ll brush their teeth’
—— and it was THE. SEXIEST. THING. HE. HAS. EVER. SAID. TO. ME.
Also, when he programs my coffee machine to be ready when I wake up before an early morning run. That’s what love feels like in a marriage.
These are great! Walking and talking – the ultimate girlfriends-catch up-hang out love language. There is nothing better than doing that with a sweet friend (and maybe a yummy latte).
Also, the dog versions. Sending me funny dog videos. Bringing the dog into bed in the morning to snuggle. (Even though the pup is not snuggly and would rather play with a stray sock or slipper.) Taking the dog out for a walk when I’m too tired or being lazy. Or even better, a “family walk!” (We declare a “family walk” when we’re having a fun hang out and the dog suddenly needs out. We don’t want to stop our conversation so one of us will declare, “family walk!” and we all go out together. It makes me laugh every time.)
we call it a family walk too!!!
We have “family walk” too ?
walking and talking! we live in london and our offices are a mile apart so we often “pick” each other up after work and walk the some of the seven miles towards home, holding hands, looking at buildings, chatting. sometimes it’s for an hour, sometimes for three. atleast one weekend day we’ll leave our house and do the same – hold hands, look at buildings, chat – for five or six hours. it’s our favourite way to spend time together. we’ve been together nine years, married for four. i hope we’ll keep this up for many more years.
Okay this sounds so magical. Just pure, perfect quality time right there. You will do it for many more years, I believe in you two.
I believe in the power of cheese as a love language.
hahaha YES!
These are ours!!! Also plating and serving the other’s dinner if the cat is sitting on their lap. The pinned person is exempt from all tasks.
My husband works a tremendous amount of hours, so it is:
– Taking kids to buy me flowers for my birthday.
– Doing kid discipline when I’m too tired.
– Cooking or cleaning the kitchen.
– Getting a hidden joke that only the two of us share.
My husband strongly prefers the toilet paper in a particular orientation (new sheet over top?). This is not a thing I previously had any feelings about. One time my mom (very sweetly) changed the toilet paper and put it the other way, I think when helping out after our first child was born. I then switched it at some point and my husband noticed and asked about it. He remarked that it was such a sweet gesture of love. Now I think of him every time I change a toilet paper roll! ?
It may be weird or silly, but little things like that matters. It lets us know she’s paying attention. This made me laugh though?
“Bringing the cat” is such a specific love language that I wonder if Jessica lives in my apartment with me and my husband? At 5 months pregnant, my husband will “bring me the cat” to cuddle with in bed while he’s up working late at night. Usually “bringing the cat” is coupled with a short, sweet directive from him to the cat: “Mama needs you.” It reminds me that even when he’s deep into Photoshop tinkering away, he will think of me lying in bed, and when he thinks of me, he thinks “Let me bring her the cat.”
I’m six months pregnant. Your comment made me miss my cat so much. We lost her last year and I’ve been thinking my whole pregnancy that she really would have helped.
Giving my cell phone number to my patients with the instructions “call me when you don’t know what else to do.”
Making my children’s beds each morning. Singing them stupid songs about how I love them that I make up.
Keeping the fridge stocked with my husbands favorite seltzer, cold ones in the front.
Hugging my mom really long and hard since my dad died.
Pouring the extra meat grease from the skillet onto my dogs dry dog food every night…
Always letting people cross the street, come into my lane, moving over when I drive too slow…
Challenging myself with my white saviorism tendencies, my intrinsic racism and patriarchical momentum from growing up in a life of middle upper class America in the 70s and 80s. Shutting up in this sphere outside of my house…
Fresh flowers for myself each week.
My whole life is flexing toward love.
Love. Love. Love.
So lovely.. esp the one about dog food.. very novel!
i love these so much.
I hate to be *that* guy, but here I am. We gave our dear hound pancreatitis from two much fat/grease and he nearly died. I had no idea.
Burritos
This comment wins.
More to Love
"Darling, I cannot BELIEVE how perfect these colors are."
144 COMMENTS
"It gets the intense hierarchy so right."
448 COMMENTS
With strong coffee in the morning, be still my heart!
69 COMMENTS