Have a Lovely Weekend.

I adore holding hands! It’s become so much more than a romantic gesture to me — holding hands with my friends casually when we walk around or when there’s a large crowd or when they share something personal with me is the best way I can tell them, no words needed, that I am here for them completely. I feel so reassured when other people reach for my hands first, then, that I have that connection back.

xx

I’m married to a wonderful man but there was once another man in my life, a friend who was himself married, and who I thought of secretly as my soulmate. One night after a party he confessed to me that he’d always been in love with me and though we managed not to kiss, we did hold hands. Actually we made sort of a stack of our hands, just clasping hands and wrists for the longest minute, and while we were standing there in the street, in silence, he just sort of breathily said my name. It was years ago, he’s now divorced and re-engaged to someone else and we don’t talk, ever – but that hand holding remains the most erotic moment of my life.

I have a 22-year-old rubber plant I named … Planty. My husband purchased another one that we named Junior.

Holding hands is so intimate and can be so special! I will absolutely never forget the first time my high school best friend and I held hands for the first time, ever so cautiously, in the backseat of his friend’s car. It. was. ELECTRIC. More than my first kiss, or losing my virginity. It makes me tingle to remember it; all the nerves and what our fingers intertwining for the first time signified.

My fiddle leaf fig tree’s name is Fergie. She’s beautiful and she knows it.

I have only ever named two plants: Robert Plant (a ficus) and Figgy Smalls (a, uh, fig).

As a woman in her 30s finding herself in a female/female relationship after years of heterosexual dating – I entirely took public hand-holding for granted and miss the ease of an action done so unconsciously.

I LOVE holding my girlfriend’s hand but the reactions and unwanted attention (we are both ‘straight looking’ whatever that means) pushes her anxiety way up to the point that she doesn’t even like to lock arms. Sometimes if we are walking down an empty street I’ll ask if we can hold hands just for 10 seconds and it’s a little fleeting moment of hand-holding happiness. I’d love to be out and proudly holding hands, but I respect her wishes and would never want to cause her unneeded anxiety, so we don’t.

We don’t have a quick morning kiss goodbye at the train station before work, I look into her eyes and tell her I already can’t wait to see her later instead. We don’t snuggle in close at the cinema, we entwine little fingers under the arm rest. When I pick her up from the airport we hug close and whisper love into each others ears, we don’t lock lips, not even the tiniest amount.

I didn’t fully grasp how effortless those small actions of affection are between two people until those actions became an invitation for others to comment. I know visibility is the key to acceptance but in real-life it’s hard to be resilient at all times. I’m very very aware that my partner and I benefit from the so-called straight privilege and also that I’m wildly new to the whole community.

I didn’t mean to write a whole essay here, I just wanted to say how much I love holding my girlfriends hand and how sad I am that it causes her so much anxiety. LGBT+ rights have come so far, but they also still have far to go and hand holding is such a seemingly innocuous tip of that iceberg.

That ski rescue is awesome. Honestly, the world is so full of hope and brilliant kids. We get so wrapped up in the cycle of gloom and doom but if you just start opening up to it, people are awesome – especially kids – this is just ace. A year ago I started volunteering with scouts, it’s brought me so much personally, but also really opened my eyes to how much potential and natural brilliance so many young people have. Good on those boys! Quick thinking and amazing common sense.

OMG—such a fabulous round up. I’m inspired and in tears and uplifted by these varied stories/instagrams/videos. Thank you.

That rescue story made me a little teary. I’m mom to two tween boys myself, and I’m also a high school teacher; I always think of the job as working with the future of the universe. This story really drives that point home.

The “Beautiful, isn’t she” post made me tear up. I’m 9 months pregnant (so that’s part of it), but I also have a preexisting long abdominal scar from an emergency stomach surgery. It gives me a lot of anxiety because it’s a reminder of the pain, but I’m still so proud of everything my body has gone through! There is something comforting about seeing your struggles and triumphs reflected in other people, especially when it can feel so isolating at times.

I am not surprised that all of the jobs people love too much to quit are physically and manually engaging. No one loves looking at a computer screen for 60 years!

Regarding the “Beautiful, isn’t she” instagram account I have two thoughts:
1. I’m so glad people are showing real postpartum bodies. A friend’s mom once said she hated how her daughters felt pressure to post their growing bellies in a celebratory way during pregnancy but had never seen a changing post partum body in a positive or realistic way and so I think many new mothers experience a shock when they realize their bodies have changed and we aren’t taught to cope with that, instead we feel an intense desire to erase the appearance of what happened and to pour our precious and limited energy to make ourselves smaller rather than savoring the precious time we have with our new little ones
2. I find the focus on being “beautiful…still” not as helpful as Lindsay Kite from @beauty_redefined puts it “girls and women aren’t suffering only cause of the unattainable ways beauty is being defined, they’re suffering because they are being defined by beauty. They are bodies first and people second”.

They also have a mantra that I find helpful, “the body is an instrument, not an ornament.”

Hoping all of us post-part mums can find respect and compassion for our bodies, whatever they look like xo

And a third thought, a friend of mine who is also a hero of mine for teaching me this said that after her first was born, she looked at herself in the mirror and said, “Yes! I look like a mom!”

The ski lift rescue had me in tears too! Grouse mountain, where it occurred, is in my hometown of North Vancouver and I spent many Saturdays learning to snowboard in the winter and hiking up it in the summer. I have two little boys and seeing kind teenage boys in a farmiliar place is warming my heart!

My goodness, those teenage boys’ rescue on the chairlift!! That gets the tears flowing! Gives me hope that there ARE indeed well-raised boys out there.

I’m a doula, and holding hands is one of the things I do best! You can transfer so much support, love, understanding, empathy and strength through a hand squeeze. To me, it’s very powerful.

Also on being a doula… all I can see in that photo is a placenta!

I have two ferns (among other plant children) names Jules Fern and Leonard Fernstein.

All good links, but man, with the skiing! Wow! I love how they gave they rescuers’ names in the captions with the description “hero” like it’s their job! Cause that’s what they are.

I love the power of holding someone’s hand. Reaching over and gripping the hand of a friend who is breaking down after a traumatic loss while as I drive her home; holding the frail hand of my 75 year old mother who is lonely from the loss of my (very affectionate) dad 16 years ago and still needs loving touch everyday; sweating in bed, unable to sleep because the room is too warm but still linking fingers with my boyfriend to be connected.

My favorite memory of the first date with my now boyfriend was walking around the State Fair, weaving through crowds and seeing him reach his hand behind his back in a subtle attempt to try to hold my hand when I was following him. I smiled really big to myself, but didn’t grab it. Felt like too big of a step for a (really great) first date!!

You might also like Lost & Found – an Australian stop motion short film that tugs at the heartstrings. A knitted toy dinosaur must completely unravel itself to save the love of its life. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=35i4zTky9pI

I love Emily’s comment! I too must have a common face because I’ve been told so many times that I look like someone people know.

My sister and I name all of our plants. I have a fiddle leaf fern named Loretta who is SASSY and a very large basil plant named The Marvelous Mrs. Basil. I recently got another basil plant as a gift and her name is Season 2.

As I hold my sleeping 6 month old, all I can think about watching that ski video is how brave that dad was! Letting go of his little boy trusting he would fall to safety. Silently sobbing over here.

I would just like to say how much I simultaneously love and hate the weekly last Friday post. It’s easily my favourite for how well curated the selection of articles and fun things you collect together are. I happily and slowly consume the content, and inevitably share at least half the list with various different friends. I also hate it, though, because it means I won’t get another fix if Cup of Joe till Monday at the earliest.

I just named one of my plants ” harry potter” . I’ve had him for a couple of years and I just re-potted him so i thought he deserved a name.