Style

A Week of Outfits: Elaina Bellis

Elaina Bellis style

Los Angeles-based Elaina Bellis has a breezy, effortless, just-stepped-out-of-a-catalog style, but still isn’t afraid to get messy with her two-year-old twins. After spending time with her, it is impossible not to a) want to be her friend and b) want to copy her hair, stat. Here, she shares five go-to outfits she wore in a week…

Elaina Bellis style

Shirt: Dôen rose top. Jeans: vintage Levi’s, similar. Mules: Beek. Twins’ rompers: Saxon and Sunra.

“Is raising twins difficult? It’s the hardest thing ever. It’s hard and it’s fun and it’s everything you think it would be. I can take them to places meant for them, like a children’s museum or a park, but otherwise, it’s hard to go anywhere because it’s too chaotic. I’m not taking them to the grocery store. But it’s also magical. They’re built-in best friends and have their own language. One will be throwing a tantrum, and then the other will walk into the room, walk up to her sister and say one word — I don’t even know what she’s saying — and the other one will stop crying, start laughing, and go play.”

Elaina Bellis style

Sweater: Christy Dawn. Pants: Jesse Kamm.

“I wear the same few pieces over and over, rotating through a very small number of outfits until I get sick of them. Right now, I’m really into monochromatic looks. I also wear lots of high-waisted pants. Somehow high-waisted pants always look chic; even if it’s just a pair of corduroy pants with a T-shirt, the silhouette makes it look like you elevated your style, without trying very hard. On the practical side, I like that they hold you in.”

“I’ve had the same haircut forever. It’s always a bob, it’s always to my chin, and it’s always blunt. I cut it twice a year. I get out of the shower and just let it air dry. From time to time, if it’s too poufy, I’ll take a tiny bit of Everyday Oil and put it just on the very tips of my hair, to weigh it down.”

Elaina Bellis style

Sweater: Jenni Kayne. Pants: Rachel Comey. Sandals: Coclico. Bag: Bembien. Sunglasses: Garrett Leight x Clare V.

“I feel good in white and wear it more than any other color. It feels classic and very clean. Recently, I took the twins to Descanso Gardens and I was wearing white pants. At the end of the day, they were COVERED in mud and dirt. My secret is this stain remover, which works wonders. Then I’ll wash everything in cold water, and it all comes out.”

Elaina Bellis style

Overcoat: Gap, similar. Shirt: Everlane. Pants: Everlane. Heels: Everlane.

“I lost my mom when I was a child, and then in my thirties, I lost my son Lincoln to a stillbirth. After I had him, I went down a path of understanding myself, why things happen, and learning to let go. He showed me how strong I was, and how loved I was, too. Sometimes I think he comes to me in the form of a butterfly. We’ll be playing in the yard and all of the sudden this monarch butterfly will come out of nowhere and fly up to my face. I’ll see other butterflies and I don’t feel anything, but when this happens, it feels very clear. I’m absolutely a mother of three.”

Elaina Bellis style

Dress: Kara Thoms, similar. Twins’ jumpsuits: Misha & Puff.

“When it comes to style, I’m very inspired by real people. Some of my friends own small fashion brands I love, like Christy Dawn, Haley Boyd from Marais and Julie O’Rourke from Rudy Jude. I also really admire Erica Chidi Cohen. She always looks effortlessly sexy, and she’s so wise. That’s who I want to be when I grow up!”

Elaina Bellis style

“I struggled so much with insecurity in my twenties. I would compare myself to others and I never felt like I was good enough. I remember how crippling those insecurities were for me at times. Having two daughters who are growing up in Los Angeles, I hope I can provide them with tools to help them feel confident and sure of who they are. I want them to learn to recognize beauty in everyone, and in themselves. And to know that they’re enough.”

Thank you so much, Elaina!

P.S. More women share their go-to outfits, including a photographer and two podcast hosts. And a beautiful essay from a mother Kate about her stillborn son.

(Photography by Nicki Sebastian for Cup of Jo.)

  1. I was so inspired by this! I wonder if Elaina would be game to follow up with a beauty uniform as her skin is just luminous! Do you ever profile someone in more than one series? Thank you for such a healing profile!

  2. Shelley says...

    “Sometimes I think he comes to me in the form of a butterfly. We’ll be playing in the yard and all of the sudden this monarch butterfly will come out of nowhere and fly up to my face. I’ll see other butterflies and I don’t feel anything, but when this happens, it feels very clear. I’m absolutely a mother of three.” – This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever read. THANK YOU for sharing!

    • Agreed! I teared up reading this.

  3. Sug says...

    Bravo!
    Love love her style. We seem to share the same body type and she’s perfected how to dress the ⏳ shape. A small waist and some 🍑. Long live our lady curves. Oh, and long live high-waisted wide-leg pants. 🙌🏻

  4. Betsy says...

    This might be the LEAST important thing about this post – what is the wall color in her bedroom?

    • Jaime says...

      Could it be Black Pepper? I love it too.

  5. Anne says...

    maybe a bizarr comment but I just noticed how much nicer the word “stillbirth” is than the German word for it which literally translated is “deathbirth”. Given it ‘s such a terrible thing in itself I find the word “stillbirth” much more comforting, especially when reading that Elaina refers to herself as a mother of 3.

    oh and and on a less heavy side: I absolute love her effortless and chic style.

    • Kristina Hinrichsen says...

      Hi Anne, but in German we also say “stille Geburt”, at least that’s the expression that I would use and I think is common as well?
      But totally agree, the wording is much more peaceful and comforting.
      Lots of love.

  6. Jessica says...

    As a mom who has also lost a baby, I’ve been finding myself devouring other women’s stories of their loss throughout the comments, which has led than an epiphany. We connect through these stories because everyone else is too afraid of upsetting us to really discuss our experiences. Many of us want to share the details of our birth experience, our loss, and healing but it is taboo to discuss things that are sad and uncomfortable. So we are left with all these bottled feelings that we take comfort in sharing with others who also understand.

    • Kristin says...

      Check out Pinch Of Yum blog… the author Lindsay speaks very openly and in such a beautiful way about the loss of her baby who was born too early.
      Sending you love.

    • Kristina Hinrichsen says...

      Dear Jessica, I couldn’t agree more! Please let me know if you want to connect somehow – it would be wonderful to have other mothers who lost their babies to speak with. Sending you lots of love!
      Dear CoJ team – if you are collecting our addresses, please feel free to share mine with Jessica or other women who might want to get in touch.
      Thank you for providing this forum.
      And lots of love to Elaina as well – you are beautiful inside and out!! :)

  7. Nicole says...

    Love this post and I always love opening up Cup of Jo after a long day.
    Would you please ask Elaina what colour/brand lipstick she wore in her photos (the photo of her wearing all white, sunglasses sitting at the cafe shows it off so well)
    Thank you again for your blog.
    I’m in my happy place. On the couch with a cup of tea and Jo :)

  8. Bravo for the pictures!

  9. Court says...

    I typically love beauty uniforms but I am currently 8 months pregnant and wasn’t expecting the article to discuss child loss (which is her every right as a mother-not discounting that). Would have loved a little warning at the top so I could skip this one for now :)

    • Mrs. Zeez says...

      Likewise. I’ve miscarried more times than I ever want to talk about, ostensibly cannot carry a child to term, and didn’t appreciate being blindsided with that part of an outfit/clothing post. It dredges up bad, raw emotions in a literal heartbeat for me. If there had been a warning, I probably would have still read – but would have been prepared and at least would have had the choice. As it is, I got a little rage-y and had a crabby comment here screened out (sorry about that, Joanna).

    • Shari says...

      Completely. I feel for her, but reading that was a bad trigger for me, too, and I wish I hadn’t.

    • Allison says...

      Same!

  10. Jojo says...

    I wish you would mention height. I’m 5’10” and it has been a struggle to find shirts that fit properly.

    • Rachel Z says...

      AMEN! Another fellow 5’10” gal over here and finding tops is an impossible task.

    • Alice says...

      Yes! Tops in tall ranges are harder to come by than trousers and jeans.
      For any tallies in the U.K. Topshop tall shirts and tops are usually a good length and Boden do good tall swimwear – I heard Land’s End’s are good. Long Tall Sally do properly tall tops but I’m not wild on their stuff. I don’t think any of these places are great ethically speaking.
      Good thick tall tights anyone?

  11. Melody Ramos says...

    So I totally get that this platform is primarily for women but I’d love to see some week of outfits or beauty uniforms featuring men. I think style and beauty (grooming) is so fluid your audience (and me) would definitely be able to get something useful from that.

    • Sarah says...

      I’m also so fascinated by how men conceive of pulling themselves together and of their relationship to grooming/style as a form of self care. Like women, there are some men that just don’t think about it, but then there are those you pass on the street and just can’t help but remark at how pulled together they are!

    • diana k. says...

      Yes! I remember Joanna had her husband do a beauty uniform once and I immediately went out and bought his deodorant. I love hearing men talk about vanity for once, it’s always enlightening.

  12. Becky says...

    I love the community here, women supporting women! And I totally support high waisted pants! something I didnt understand until my 30s. I’m petite and lean and have not had a child yet. Low waisted pants are not flattering. Even a lean person feels like they are spilling over and then just wait until you have had a meal! The lowest I’ll go is mid rise. And I would def pay good bucks for a pair of pants that make me feel like i can conquer my world!

  13. Katharine says...

    I am sorry you saw your still sibling and am grateful you found a safe place to share your haunting experience.

  14. Amanda says...

    Something so powerful and whole about this beauty perspective. Thank you for sharing everything. I also lost my first born, he taught me so so much about my own strength and ability to love. I really understand the feelinh of being a mother of three.

  15. Katie says...

    YES! As a fellow Los Angeleno, your comment feels spot on.

  16. Katie says...

    Where is that bed frame from? Looking for one just like it!

  17. caitlin says...

    I am genuinely curious how a person maintains a short chin-length blunt bob with only a haircut twice a year. My hair is a similar cut and definitely can’t go 6 months without it looking sad.

  18. Jessica says...

    Elaina, I loved your interview. Our second daughter was stillborn and parts of my heart have still not healed from it. I love how you honor your son in this article and feel his presence and his love. I feel the same way about our daughter, and often think I see signs of her love around me. She will always be a part of our family, just as your sweet son will always be a part of yours. From one baby loss mama to another, sending you a hug.

  19. Amanda says...

    Thanks for encouraging me to wear more white! I would really like to buy white jeans but I have a toddler so tha seems insane. I guess I just need a good stain remover! Also, a stylist recently recommended a blunt cut for my bob as opposed to layers. I thought I couldn’t do blunt because my hair is weird and wavy and I was afraid to look like a mushroom. But, I love the blunt now! My hair is thin and the blunt cut helps it look less scraggly.

    Lastly, the story about your son is beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

  20. Alyssa says...

    I loved this chic ad effortless style. I got my first pair of high waisted jeans from Everlane this year and ADORED them for the whole month. Then the pregnancy took on a shape of its own!
    I definitely unbuttoned the top button at brunch, no shame. I found pairing them with a big, blousy top tucked in the front was comfortable and effortless – I felt like I was in a Nora Ephron movie!

  21. Tracey says...

    I have never paid $300 for pants either, but! I am planning to (when the ones I have are worn through). Watching even one episode of Marie Kondo will cure you of the quantity over quality cycle. Why do I own THIRTY FIVE pairs of black opaque pantyhose tights? That alone is $280 worth of something I only need two of. Obviously this is an extreme example, and aside from tights I am considered thrifty amongst friends, and yet, I could still throw out much of my wardrobe and not be affected day to day. The waste from clothing is real, the plastics in the ocean from washing them is real. So before casting stones at this woman’s wardrobe prices, put all your clothes on your bed Kondo style and take a guess at how much money is wasted in all the things you don’t wear and all those that you throw out for being cheaper quality. And if after all that you still feel ripped off by this feature, just be grateful that there are some early adopters driving demand for ethical production and with enough of them, big name producers may follow suit.

    • Lena says...

      Yes! Amen and a big second to this!

    • Jen says...

      This.

    • N says...

      You have a good point. I did this recently and couldn’t throw out much. What do you do if your size fluctuates a bit with weight loss/gain? What if I don’t have so much time to invest in a new wardrobe every time something becomes a bit loose or tight? I guess this habit of being minimalist doesn’t apply to me since I can visibly see some pants (or other pieces of clothing) get looser or tighter with holidays/celebrations. I can ill afford 600$ of pants (even if I buy 2 in the different sizes).
      Elaina is a wealthy woman and like all wealthy people, wears pricey stuff. I have long resigned to the fact that COJ posts mostly aspirational stuff now and there is nothing wrong with that! Sometimes it is good to see how rich people live and dress. (and in my case, hear about designers)
      However, your idea that somehow these people “drive demand” for ethical production doesn’t bode well with me. As someone pointed out, she has friends in the fashion industry and her fashion choices reflect that insider-smugness which is also perfectly fine! Let’s not portray her as doing something she isn’t. What she is doing is speaking from her heart and being so tender about her loss and coping beautifully. Now THAT is truly wonderful.

    • Sasha L says...

      I love Marie kondo too, following her finding joy method changed my life and home for the better SO MUCH. I have very minimal clothing, just the things I love. But I don’t spend a lot on anything. I’ve got things from thrift, that were originally Old Navy or Target that I’ve had ten years and are very good quality. Mass produced really doesn’t always mean poor quality, it just depends. I don’t begrudge anyone whatever they want to spend but you don’t have to spend a lot to live minimally and intentionally. A great start is to just plain old have less, buy less, change your mind about what you really need. And try thrift.

    • Shelby says...

      Yes! I love Marie Kondo’s show, and the big reveal when the guests put all of their clothing, photos, toys, etc in one place is always shocking- but I’d be the same! And you are so right – having 30 $15 shirts you rarely wear is the same cost as 2 pairs of high quality denim that will last you for *decades*. Your comment was very well put, thank you :)

    • Becky says...

      N,
      I dont think the point is to go out and buy a $300 pair of pants just because she has it. Use post for the original intention, to feel inspired. There are fashion hacks every where. If investment pieces are of interest it can be something to work towards. I certainly dont make a lot but I have taken a way a little bit from some beauty uniforms and such and incorporated into my life. The tatcha oil changed my skin. Its 50 bucks but now I dont buy an acne treatment and the bottle lasts me for months. Somethings are pricey, not all things, but then I cut out something else out. The point is not to copy the woman. And she is certainly not lecturing anyone on where they buy their clothes. Doesnt make sense to shame someone for having money and how they spend it, especially if it’s on something seen as an investment.

    • Michelle says...

      YES!!!

    • Eliza says...

      I am not wealthy, have student loans, two kids, and a $25/month spending budget (for whatever I choose to spend on including clothes, meals out, etc) and I saved that enough to buy a $300 pair of jeans and let me tell you it was worth it. They are the best fit, I can wear them almost every day without them sagging out or looking old. I tried them on thinking to myself “I’ll just try them on to make me feel better because jeans never fit well” but they were the best jeans I’ve ever tried on. Worth the save and splurge for the cost per wear.

    • Michelle says...

      I just want to add to what I believe to be a very important discussion. My only hope is that just like more and more people are questioning where their food comes from, more and more will question where their clothes come from. We have to remember that every single dollar we spend (whether it’s $5 or $500) is a vote we are casting for what we want for our planet and its people. When we spend cheaply SOMEONE is paying the price. When you spend $10 at H&M you are condoning cheap, unfair, unsafe labor. The environment is paying the price for shipping across the world and for the micro plastics being shed into our water systems each time you wash these cheap fabrics. And finally, we pay the price with the negative impacts on our very own health. As a young mama fighting cancer the amount of research I have done all points to the overwhelming facts that these synthetic fabrics and dyes quite literally negatively affect the way our cells behave. It’s frightening. I have also learned that our water treatment plants are simply not equipped to filter these things out of our water so
      if you don’t have a very spendy home water filter you are ingesting these toxins. I get why people have a hard time accepting these facts as I am someone who spent my whole 20’s in H&M and Forever21. But now even though we live paycheck to paycheck I refuse to put my money in these places and believe me people, when you spend more mindfully and consciously, you are saving money in the end!

    • Mrs. Zeez says...

      I shop at thrift stores and fabulously wear only cotton, wool, silk, and cashmere. I spend less than $200 a year on clothes – and that’s if Madewell has a sale on denim.

      The world is drowning in clothing people don’t want. You don’t need to spend over a $1,000 on an outfit to be ethical, sustainable, or sensible.

    • whatever says...

      “We have to remember that every single dollar we spend (whether it’s $5 or $500) is a vote we are casting for what we want for our planet and its people. ”

      No.
      Sometimes the dollars just represent survival. Sometimes there are not enough to get by. Sometimes jobs pay barely enough to cover the rent or mortgage, and dollars spent represent excruciatingly difficult choices that are far removed from the issues that you prioritize: to pay the electric bill or buy food to feed your family? Neve mind fresh, healthy food- how to buy any kind of food at all? Get medical care when sick or instead buy insulin for another family member? Take half your prescription to make it last longer, so the money saved can put gas in the car? Buy one kid new shoes or replace the pants that the other one outgrew 6 months ago with a pair on sale from Walmart? Don’t put the burden for the worlds problems- complex and overwhelming problems that have been over a hundred years in the making- on the shoulders of people who don’t have the luxury to make other choices. They have enough to deal with. If you are passionately devoted to these causes, then by all means go work the causes, and best of luck with that. But consider reining in all the judgement and criticism, and maybe spare some compassion and a little respect for people who are doing their best just to get by- and there are a lot who are in that boat. Sometimes an inexpensive pair of jeans from H&M is all that can possibly be managed.

  22. Alice says...

    I’ve really been sad to see some negative comments here because, Elaina, I totally love your style and your hair is ace, but more than anything I love your soul and openness and honesty. What you share about your son Lincoln here is heartfelt and deeply personal, thank you.
    I haven’t lost a baby and I cannot imagine it, but other comments show that your words have been uniting, comforting, and I think it’s incredible that you put it out there so beautifully.

    • Sasha L says...

      This is the comment I would make if I were as eloquent.
      Yes.

  23. Rachel says...

    It’s interesting to me that so many people need things to be relatable, why can’t things simply be inspirational? This woman’s style is one of many. I think Cup of Jo does a fantastic job presenting a wide variety of experiences for all of us to see.

    I’m also fascinated to know where people think style comes from. Everlane, Old Navy, Madewell… All of those companies are looking towards high fashion for their styles. Jessie Kamm pants are a huge part of the reason why Everlane made a wide leg high waisted pant. Mass produced fashion comes from small designers.

    • jen says...

      Yes!!!

  24. AJ says...

    Beautiful :)

  25. Hanna says...

    That magical tantrum curing thing never, ever happened with my twins. Their philosophy always seemed to be, “Crying sounds better in stereo!” :-)

  26. Meems says...

    My mother lost two children after I was born. They both lived one day. I remember attending the funeral for my sister which was an open casket. I was about 4 or 5 years old and to this day I can’t hold a baby doll. It reminds me too much of her little body. I wish my family was better equipped to see how this would affect my eyes and tender heart. Thanks for having this forum which allows me to share something that hardly anyone knows about me and our family.

    • Stephanie says...

      <3

    • Maureen says...

      Meems, that must have been such a difficult and confusing time for such a small child. I hope that you have found some healing as you became an adult. I lost my Dad when I was 10 and it took me until I was almost 30 to really come to a place of understanding and acceptance of my loss and grief.

    • Kristina says...

      Sending you a big hug, Meems! I had a stillbirth at 21 weeks last October and to be perfectly honest, I wasn’t sure if I could stomach seeing and holding my baby. I am so so glad I did it but I can’t imagine how a little child would deal with that. Be kind to yourself! And maybe share it more with people you trust if you feel like that might help. Lots of love to you.

  27. annie says...

    i want to call out the commenters dissing these clothes based on the prices.

    the difference between rachel comey and old navy is that one of these cares about the provenance of fabric and creation of her wares, and the other is a huge corporation that gets everything made cheaply outside the US and out of polyester.

    i don’t want to spend $345 on a pair of white jeans either, but i just wanted to point out, there are very good, worthwhile reasons why some things cost more than others (another great example is the $368 christy dawn sweater, which is ethically made in a workplace that pays its artisans fairly and which makes use of deadstock fabrics). it’s completely understandable if you can’t afford these things, but try to make an effort to understand why they cost so much, rather than just smack-talking the actually pretty great work these designers/makers are doing in their industry.

    i’ll also second a comment above; it is unfortunate that she didn’t mention more about why she chooses these items, other than being friends with people from those companies which do such nice work (marais, christy dawn). certainly that does make her style seem less attainable and a little too smug-insider, though i’m positive that was not this lovely woman’s intent.

    • AH says...

      AGREED. Not everyone has to spend the same amounts on clothes. Some people spend crazy amounts on TVs and stereos or furniture or make up or whatever. Clothes may not be your priority or you have a smaller budget. That doesn’t mean that someone who spends more than you is out of line! Also, this is about style inspiration. If you like her look, emulate it with cheaper pieces.

    • Maclean Nash says...

      YES! Thank you!

    • Rosie says...

      I totally agree. I often wonder how to buy ethically in a way that isn’t very privileged. I find buying on ebay, insta, and other similar places a great place to begin.

    • mm says...

      Rosie – ALL shopping that Americans do is privileged. The reason we can get cheap clothing at H&M and Old Navy is because people and the environment are oppressed and underpaid in places like Bangladesh, China, and elsewhere. And MOST Americans can afford to pay MUCH more for clothing if we choose to. Even poor Americans tend to have closets that are exploding with too much clothing. We ALL need to learn to buy 1 pair of responsibly made jeans instead of 5-20 pairs of regular jeans, for example. And yes, buying used is affordable for almost everyone and good for the environment. Really, no new clothing needs to be made for about 50 years before we actually use up what’s already here.

    • Em says...

      Great points, Annie. Every time something expensive is shown on Cup of Jo, there are always people commenting “I can’t afford that.” I don’t understand the mentality of commenting that, especially because this blog features a range of price-points. How is it news that expensive things exist and other people buy them? Not every post needs to cater to ever reader individually!

      I also cannot afford $300 pants, but I would never be upset at the fact that they are featured on a blog, especially for the reasons Annie highlights. I encourage people who like things they cannot afford, to take up thrift and second-hand shopping! If you don’t like going to thrift stores in person, try Poshmark, eBay, ThredUp. Almost all of my favorite clothing items were purchased second hand, and I get to own some high-quality pieces that will last me years or decades, that I never could have afforded new. It’s also great for the environment.

    • Jenna says...

      AMEN THANK YOU! Sustainable and ethical fashion is not cheap. Own less and you can spend more on items like these.

    • Helga Thomsen says...

      Yes!

    • Sarah says...

      A post on ethically sourced and affordable fashion would be a great piece! I often struggle with the same.

    • liz says...

      yes and thank you

  28. Erica says...

    Super cool, beautiful and smart!

  29. Andrea says...

    What a lovely lady! But OMG, $345 for the white cropped ragged edge pants!!!!! Earlier this year I got the exact same ones at Old Navy for maybe $32! And they wear beautifully! I can’t afford the clothes featured in a lot of these posts but I look for similar styles in my budget but I love the inspiration these posts provide!

  30. lesley says...

    what a natural beauty. elaina, thank you for sharing your story of your son.

  31. Emily says...

    She’s lovely! She has that California-cool, smart, funny, yet warm and authentic feeling (that I miss so much living out of California right now). Inspired by many of these outfits, too.

  32. Laur says...

    I WISH i could cut my hair like this and just let it air-dry! It’s adorable!

    I lost my second baby (late term) when my first son was 2 years old (and not aware of the loss), and now I have a third baby …. I very much feel like a mother of 3, but I don’t know how to talk about it when my first son (now 5) is around, or if i should or shouldn’t….. I would truly appreciate any advice or examples of what other mothers have done in this situation.

    Lots of love to those moms who are sharing on this post. <3

    • Olga says...

      So sorry you lost your baby…
      I lost my second baby this July, my son was 2, he’s 3 now, but we haven’t said much to him mainly because we couldn’t face his questions or him bringing it up now. We put an arbour in the garden in the name of our second son, so the 3-year-old knows it as “little James’ arbour”. When he is older and we are readier to talk to him about it, I hope it will be a good way to start the conversation. Obviously, a 5-year-old is a completely different level of maturity, but I just wanted to say, maybe talk to him when it’s the right time for you rather than when he is ready to understand it. Lots of love, it’s so hard, isn’t it xx

    • Rachel says...

      I lost one of my twins to stillbirth at 24 weeks (and came very close to losing the other one too). My son is about to turn four and we sometimes talk about his baby sister and how we miss her (usually as her birthday comes around and I get very sad). He’s a bit confused about her but I’d rather it not be a big secret that someone mentions to him out of the blue when he’s older. So we answer his questions as they come up and very occasionally deal with him telling strangers that he has a dead sister (always awful and awkward for everyone). There is no right or wrong way. Much love to you! xx

    • EP says...

      I am so sorry for your loss. Our situation was very similar. We lost our second baby when our son was 2. He didn’t know what was going on so we didn’t talk about it at first. I just couldn’t—it was too much. But on her 1st birthday, a few days after our son was 3, we started talking about her bit by bit to him. We gave her the bear she “cuddled with” in the hospital and released paper lanterns on her first birthday. We just put it simply “today we’re remembering your sister who died when she was a baby.” Now he talks about her sometimes or asks the occasional question, but it’s not overwhelming. We too have another baby (another girl) and he knows he has two sisters. I’ve felt it is SUCH a relief to have him know and talk about her. There have been a few week-long spans when he talks about her a lot and that is hard—especially hard when I was pregnant again. But all in all, I’d say just go for it if you feel like it’s time—don’t worry too much about your older child’s reaction because it’s unlikely they’re going to focus on it as much as you think they would. I always try to tell myself that it helps teach him about life and death and the normalcy of the circle of life…though of course there is nothing normal about babies dying.

    • J says...

      We lost our first at 41 weeks, and now we have our second who is 2 years old. I think every family is different- but we have momentos up around the house of our daughter- her footprint, beanie, etc. We also started the tradition that we go somewhere new as a family on her birthday. Our 2 year old doesn’t get it yet, but it was important to us that we share how much we love and miss our daughter. I was worried it might be scarier when he did eventually find out if we kept it all a secret. As we handle it now it’s a sad part about our lives, but we find joy in other aspects of our day to day. That’s the balance of life, really. And kids do seem to handle these things so much better than our adult friends (judging from our friends in similar situations with older siblings).

    • megs283 says...

      Hugs momma. We lost my firstborn – she lived 4 days – my second daughter is now 3, and I have a daughter who is 9 months. We have Penny’s pictures around the house, and my three-year-old seems to be just taking more notice of her. The other day she was asking about Penny’s “boo boos” and then said “but she’ll be home soon!” and I said that no, she’s in heaven and she’s watching over us. I think if you have belongings that would have been your second child’s (like a blanket, or stuffed animal), you can use those as a way of talking about him or her. If you believe in heaven – we often say a prayer to Penny and ask her to watch over us. We’ve always been open about our first baby but we don’t talk about her everyday, if that makes sense…

      There are some loss books – you could read “Someone Came Before You” to your younger child and have your older son read it too. If you’re not religious, I just found “Ida, Always” on amazon, and it looks like it might be a way to start the conversation.

      I am a mom of three…I say “two on earth and one in heaven.” It’s been five years…my grief is still there, it always will be, especially when I three sisters together…but it doesn’t burn as close to the surface as it used to.

    • Jessica says...

      I’m also a mother of a child lost. My firstborn son was stillborn earlier this year, at 27 weeks. I’m now pregnant with my second, and optimistic that everything is going fine (we’ve already verified that the chromosomal condition that led to his loss is not present in my developing daughter). I’m not entirely sure how we are going approach the subject of my son once my daughter is older, but I know that we will. We keep his urn and a photo of him at birth on display in the house. I am in the process of having a piece of jewellery made with his name on it. And I wear a locket with a small picture of him in it. So certainly, he will not be a secret. I think the fact that these reminders are around will make it feel normal and as she grows we can talk about it more in age-appropriate ways. I plan on doing something every year for his birthday, if even just a piece of cake that we share as a family. Its incredibly sad and hard to deal sometimes, but I think honouring his memory in this way keeps him with us.

      The one thing I’ve struggled with while I’m still pregnant is when people ask if this is my first. I tend to default to saying yes, because I’m still raw and its just easier. But I’d like to find a better brief statement that is not painful or uncomfortable and still acknowledges his life. This is probably something that will be easier to do with time, once my daughter is born.

      Thank you to all the other mothers who have posted about their experiences on this thread. It was so cathartic to read your responses and thoughts.

    • LK says...

      We also lost our second daughter recently, who was born at 31 weeks and lived a short time. We’d been preparing our older daughter, age 3, to welcome her sibling and decided to have the two of them meet while her sister was alive. Every family is different– for us it was a very positive experience and I think has helped make this all more concrete for our 3 year old. She’ll be able to look at the pictures and videos of her with her sister as she grows up. For now, she is very matter of fact about it which leads to some awkward (for adults) comments in public, like “That family has a baby. We had one too, and we loved her but she died anyway,” or “That lady looks sad. Maybe her baby died.”

      The question of how many children we have is a difficult one, and the answer I think will depend on how much I feel like sharing at the moment. My full answer would be “It’s ok that you asked and it’s a complicated answer. I have one living child and one who passed away shortly after birth. I like talking about her, actually.” I haven’t tested out this line yet but my husband used it at work and it was…awkward but not horrible. I’m planning to give the full answer when my 3 year old is around, though, because I don’t want her to feel her sister or our grief is something to hide.

      I would be interested to hear how those of you who have had subsequent pregnancies dealt with the stress/anxiety/fear involved when you know what can happen and don’t totally trust the universe anymore.

      Love and hugs to all of you missing your children today. Thank you for sharing your stories and bringing some solace in company.

    • s.m. says...

      Hi Laur, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. My heart breaks for you and all the other women commenting here.

      My mother struggled with carrying to term due to a benign pituitary tumor (sidenote: it’s very common so ask your doctor to check if you haven’t considered it!). She had four miscarriages and one stillborn son. I was six years old when he was born. Us kids were very aware of the pregnancy, expecting a new brother, calling him by name, etc.

      After he passed away, my dad took us on a fishing trip and only told us that the baby had died, that we didn’t know why, and that we would have a funeral for him. He answered any questions we came up with. Looking back, the trip was a great way to frame the discussion as something important and different but not scary. There has always been an ongoing discourse in our family about the lost pregnancies (my parents had picked out names for each child). When something triggering pops up unexpectedly (like that scene in Marley and Me!) we sort of cocoon around her in support and I think she feels comforted by sharing the grief. We still remember his birthday and pray for all of them (we’re religious). It definitely made me more empathetic as child.

      Of course it’s different for everyone, but I echo what Joanna has written in the past about talking to children about death, loss, grief, etc. Having it explained succinctly and clearly, early on, and in small doses made the whole thing a part of our everyday lives. The entire process of the funeral was painful for my parents (I only remember part of the service) but in hindsight, it was beautiful to call in the big guns the way we do for other losses in our family :) I’m speculating here, but I think being open with family and close friends gave other people who may not have fully grasped the gravity of the situation a gut check.

      Best of luck to you xx

  33. KL says...

    Not at all about her or her kids (all three are super adorable), but do you know what paint color that is in the very last picture?!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Just emailed to ask! Xo

    • Laura C says...

      Yes! Such a beautiful color! I’m dreaming of painting my own walls now…

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      It’s Benjamin Moore ‘soot’!

    • Violet Ray says...

      My house is painted Benjamin Moore “Soot”. It is an amazing color! It is actually blue but looks black. The flat finish come out darker. A bit of gloss makes it look more blue.

  34. Amanda B says...

    I am so grateful for the mention of her stillborn son, Lincoln. So often us baby-loss moms feel isolated and see if mentioned with so much love for all to see is just perfection.

    • Shannon says...

      I second that. Thank you for sharing your story about Lincoln. Losing a baby is a very deep and lonely kind of pain, so this means so much.

  35. Andrea says...

    Week of Outfits is one of the couple of features I really look forward to on this site, and I do appreciate the increase in diverse profiles with respect to age, size, profession, race, location (etc) over the past year or so, but I must say that I have an increasingly difficult time not yelling at the screen every time a tiny wisp of a fat-free woman mentions the way high waisted pants “hold you in” in these types of posts. The picture directly below this line is actual, zoomed-in evidence of how very little there is to “hold in” in her case. I think even if she said “hold ME in” would work better to my ears; at least then the phrasing avoids the braggy, tinny kind of faux relatability that makes up an exhausting percentage of the Internet today.

    • Natasha says...

      It’s unfortunate that the second comment on this post calls the fabulous subject “braggy and faux relatable”. Even the way you refer to her as a “tiny wisp of a fat-free woman” sounds critical. I’m guessing that you might describe me the same way, but believe it or not, some clothes are more flattering on me than others, and after two pregnancies (neither with twins by the way), I have some saggy skin on the lower part of my stomach that gets nicely flattened out by some well-made high-waisted pants. I find Elaina relatable for real! The fact that you would take the time to call her phony for saying something honest about herself says so much more about your relationship to your own body than it does about her.

    • liz says...

      Agree with Natasha. I’m exhausted by all the body shaming of thin people. Not everyone is the same shape, and yes, thin people can be relatable, believe it or not.

    • M says...

      I understand where Liz and Natasha are coming from – I am very petite, on the slimmer side, and still plenty insecure about my body. At the same time, I do get the OP’s comments. It’s important to contextualize our insecurities, and to acknowledge that what is relatable to a woman with one body type may feel totally exclusionary to another. There are definitely a lot of unfair assumptions about the way thinner women should feel about their bodies, but we really aren’t made to feel shame in the same way or to the same extent that others are.

    • Julia says...

      Andrea, I think your comment is unkind and treats Elaina as if her photos should somehow speak to you personally, as if she is somehow responsible for your happiness with your own body. Everyone has items of clothing that work better for them and she was sharing her own. I would imagine that (especially after having two pregnancies, one being twins) she’s not at all trying to be “faux relatable,” she is speaking honestly about what she likes. I hope that you will take a few moments and consider whether such a petty and disagreeable comment really needs to be shared.

    • Lucy says...

      As a person who has given birth to more than one child at a time, both of whom were over 7 lbs, I am here to say that although a person’s stomach may look “flat,” there may be something else going on. Many mothers of multiples have complete separation of their stomach muscles and significant excess skin, stretch marks, etc. Elaina may not have experienced these things, but I certainly have. So I encourage folks to not judge a book by its cover, so to speak—we all have our own things going on. And frankly, every body “issue” (we all have them) makes us unique and we should feel free to talk about them without shame. I come to this site because the brilliant and funny women readers lift one another up, not compare/contrast/criticize each other. If you feel compelled to comment negatively about someone who is being featured here, please think twice. And thanks to Elaina for sharing her story, and her beautiful family, with us.

    • Lulu says...

      I totally relate to Elaina. Not every post on here will be catered to YOU, your style, your size etc.

    • Shelby says...

      I am but a wisp myself, and while I’m young and never been pregnant, I find my core tends to weaken over the course of the day and I love high waisted pants because they “hold you in” – not necessarily fat, or excess skin, but they hold me together, give me better posture when sitting, and I just like that kind of ‘contained/wrapped’ feeling, like a hug, I guess? I find it comforting. I sometimes wear unitards to bed and around the house for the same reason. I can’t speak for Elaina, but maybe she wasn’t even talking about holding in fat, or pudge (perceived or real). She may have just been referring to the positive feeling of ‘being held’ in the jeans.

  36. Laura says...

    I lost my daughter Jocelyn at 41 weeks due to stillbirth. I think she comes to me in fluffy pink and orange clouds at sunset. A few weeks after I lost her, I was looking up at the sky on a cold January day and suddenly the setting sun burst through and turned the sky into a Monet. For the first time I thought “I am going to be ok. There is still beauty in this world even though I’ve just been taken to my knees.” Now every time my boys see clouds like that, they shout their sister’s name.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that’s so, so beautiful, laura. i’m so sorry for your loss of your sweet daughter jocelyn.

  37. gfy says...

    Gosh, she is beautiful. And I love that whole California mood so much! Would also love to see a beauty uniform for Erica Chidi Cohen!

  38. Em says...

    As someone who has grown up in Los Angeles her entire life, this post gives me mixed feelings. On one hand I applaud her coming forward with her own story. She seems lovely. Really. On the other hand, I don’t mean to single her out but that’s just it-there are dozens and dozens of ladies from their 20s-40s but mostly 30s of the same look, wearing all these same 4-5 brands who make up the nouveau riche of Los Angeles. At the expense of being one of those sad sack people who moan about what their city used to be, I’ll cut right to the chase because I think it’s an important topic. L.A. used to be this phenomal place where people from all over the country (or world) could come and flaunt their individual style (as opposed to just what’s been marketed to them). You’d see an old man wearing a Mickey shirt under a tweed blazer and a silk scarf, looking like the most fascinating person in the room, second only to the woman unapologetically wearing huge platforms, a skin tight turtleneck dress and her hair piled a mile high in a bun on top. Now, it’s “I bought these $300 pants that literally every other woman in my neighborhood is wearing and I feel good about it because it’s a small local brand, instead of a chain”. That’s fine. It’s all just fine. I can’t help but think that these small local brands are just the next tier of madewells, banana republic and the like. But where are the individuals that stand out? Where is the art? What happened to l.a. being a place of invention as it pertains to our personal style? Or reinvention? Those are the outfits I really want to see!

    • Lena says...

      So much relate to this Em! Thank you for putting it so clearly.

    • cori says...

      I feel like this sameness is happening on a national scale because we’re all getting inundated with the same images on the internet/Instagram. Even people’s home decor are all starting to look identical.

    • Linda says...

      I totally feel this comment as another person who grew up in LA! But also, I don’t live in a trendy, affluent part of LA so I still get to see those Angelenos with amazing style from time to time. These are the folks, both young and old, with that inherent talent for creating style on any budget :) #southlaonasunday #koreatownajummas #lastreetstyle

    • Stephanie says...

      I first heard of these pants on this blog, probably a year or two ago. They look very nice on these youngish, trendy moms. They’re certainly popular.

  39. This is one of my favourite Week of Outfits posts to date (for no shortage of reasons!), but I can’t help saying that one of my first thoughts reading the interview was how often I can imagine sweet Elaina Bellis might find herself misheard at, say, the DMV…Elaine Benes is just a few easy-to-miss consonants off from that little smile!

    Thanks for sharing, Elaina—your family, life, and approach to both those things is beautiful.

    • Kim says...

      Ha ha, I did a double take on her name, too. So glad to see someone else had a similar laugh.

  40. Sarah says...

    As a twin, hearing about twins who are “built-in best friends” has always made me feel a twinge of bitterness. My twin sister and I have never been able to click as friends. But, it makes me have even more appreciation for the lifelong best friends I’ve made, who are much more like a twin sister to me.

    • Sandra says...

      If it makes you feel any better “built-in best friends” at preschool age isn’t always a lifelong thing when it comes to any siblings. My husband is a twin and they aren’t especially close. Not animosity or anything, just not close. Those friends who are like sisters are gold.

    • Rachel says...

      Sarah, as a parent of now 15 year old twin sons I appreciate hearing your experience and it reminds me of the important work of (twin and mother of twins) psychologist Joan Friedman. She wrote a book “Emotionally Health Twins: A New Philosophy for Parenting Two Unique Children.” There are so many assumptions people make about twins (including that they naturally adore each other) that don’t serve them. I find her counseling work with twins really interesting. Maybe her blog would interest you?

    • Sarah says...

      Thank you, Rachel and Sandra, for your responses :)

      Rachel, your comment especially hit home for me. I’m just starting the process of untangling my dynamic with my sister through therapy, and I’m so grateful for the book recommendation. I’m going to check it out!

  41. Katy Harmon says...

    I also lost my son Henry to stillbirth (well, he died during childbirth), and butterflies remind me of him as well. When I see one, I imagine him saying “hey mom, I’m still here, I love you”. Hugs to you Elaina.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i’m so sorry for your loss, katy. henry is a beautiful name. i’ll be thinking of him today.

  42. Alexa says...

    Oh my gosh, finally!!! I remember she showed some sneak peaks from this CoJ shoot on Instagram nearly a year ago! She’s so lovely.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh yes, she wanted to reshoot when they moved, so here we are! worth the wait xoxo

  43. Sally says...

    Really beautiful style but surprised to hear women say they love high waisted pants because it holds things in. That’s exactly why I can’t spend a day in them! My stomach expands when I eat and basically, hates being contained. Am I getting the wrong sizing or does anyone else feel like high waisted pants make them suck in all day? Love the look but mid-rise it is for me… :)

    • CB says...

      I love high waisted pants for holding things in, but I too hate them for this reason! Hurts my stomach when I’m sitting down or after I’ve eaten.

    • Natalie says...

      For me, it’s more comfortable to have a higher waist that holds things in. I can’t stand mid-rise or low rise pants because my stomach bulges over and it’s a very uncomfortable feeling! (Especially after having two kids) Must just be personal preference :)

    • Maryann says...

      I have gone down a rabbit hole on high-waisted pants in the last year. I like to sew my clothes and have made a bunch using some really great independently-designed patterns. My sorta obvious conclusion is that the fabric really makes a difference! I am short and curvy and find that high waist pants made with fabric (twill, denim, etc) with some stretch make a huge difference in comfort throughout the day.

    • Emma says...

      TOTALLY. If you have any semblance of a lower belly pooch (like me!) high-waisted pants just emphasize this area. It also doesn’t help that they look best with boxy, cropped shirts, which hide my waist, thus increasing the overall frumpy effect. Love the look on others but for me it’s a BAD SCENE.

    • H says...

      Same as CB: love/hate. This is why I buy high-waisted pants that have just a tad bit of stretch, and a comfortable size. This doesn’t mean buying pants that are too big, but rather may not be completely snug around my waist; think, you can pull the waist away from you just a bit. This may mean I can’t wear them as many times without a wash, but it does allow me to wear them for a full day, eat, drink and look AND FEEL good! Any Levis with a stretch are my current fave if you haven’t given up!

    • liz says...

      prob just depends on your shape? they def hide bulges and emphasize my waist. low waist/mid rise look terrible on me and emphasize my “pooch” and extra long torso in a way i don’t enjoy

    • Danielle says...

      Maryann! Could you recommend some of the independent patterns you’ve been liking? I’ve been wanting to make some high-waisted pants for myself (the stretch twill is on the way). I’m super intimidated because I’m more shaped like a rectangle than most of the pattern flats I’ve seen…

    • Maryann says...

      Danielle – Yay- excited for you! Stretch twill is amazing! And so forgiving. I have sewn a couple pairs of Landers pants/shorts by True Bias and Ginger jeans by Closet Case Files. I love both patterns and would highly recommend them. I found the Landers were came together quickly and were really easy to get the fit pretty good. The gingers were more challenging, but I really love the fit in the end. I would like to try the Persephone Pants by Anna Allen next. They look very Kamm-like and seem kind of magic (no side seams!). Good luck on your pants sewing adventure!!

    • Lora says...

      Danielle, I’m not Maryann but I would look at The Persephone Pants by Anna Allen Clothing (spitting image of the Kamm pants), Ginger Jeans (high rise skinny) or Jenny Trousers (high waisted with wide leg) both by Closet Case Files, or the Lander Pants by True Bias. All of those are super popular in the sewing community so you can search for different inspiration looks via their hashtags on Instagram and will have good instructions + sewalongs to help you fit for your shape.

    • Alexia says...

      I have the same experience Sally! I like to be able to move in my pants.
      I’ve had a good experience with Madewell’s jeans, specifically the 9”in rise in the Tencel edition. I bought them at a size I could wear fairly comfortably, but still allowing for a little stretch. I can wear them with minimal issues throughout the day now! They are pretty much as comfy as all my other jeans :))
      Everlane’s straight and wide leg crops are great too, just buy them in your usual size and not down a size as a lot of the reviews suggested.

  44. Rae says...

    It’s pictures like these that make me question why I’m in NYC in January. I love it her but oh the sun! Her style and family are beautiful!

    Can we have a home tour next? :) And do you know what color the paint behind her bed it? I love it!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i’ll ask her about the paint color!

      and i HEAR you about winter weather — do you remember this hilarious comic? https://i.redd.it/hyi9g0wwjj801.jpg

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Here’s the paint!

      Benjamin Moore ‘soot’

  45. Addie says...

    I lost my only daughter to stillbirth and also feel her presence when I see a butterfly! It brings me so much comfort, like I have a secret angel watching over us.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i’m so sorry for your loss, addie.

  46. ErikaMC says...

    While I do believe her clothing and style is gorgeous and she too as a person seems to ooze with a great spirit it would be nice to see a style post of someone closer to my budget. A pair of pants here is a car payment to me and I don’t/can’t spend more than $30-50 on a sweater. We poor folk are real too :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      absolutely, erika! thank you so much for your feedback, and we have some posts coming up that i hope you’ll enjoy. we try to do a range of budgets, so here are some of the past ones, if they’re helpful:
      https://cupofjo.com/category/style/fashion/week-of-outfits/

      thank you!! xoxo

    • Danielle says...

      As someone usually on a tight budget I feel this comment. That being said I do thing there have been some outfit posts with a wider range of posts. When it all comes down to it I feel like the point to a style post isn’t buying the exact items a person is wearing but rather noticing the colors and shapes they put together and figuring out how to find similar elements on your own budget. I learned this skill well growing up with mall stores off limits and only Montgomery Ward and Sears as an option haha.

    • Shelby says...

      I second your comment, Danielle. This series isn’t a sponsored post to buy what they wear, but to gather inspiration, especially for those pieces we see in stores but think “how would I wear that?” If you can find the same pair of white jeans from Old Navy for $30 then get them and rock them! I remember there was one woman featured here who bought crew neck cardigans and unbuttoned them a bit and wore them off-the-shoulder. I tried it and loved it! I also love visiting the clothing links anyways to browse the stores and enjoy being exposed to a new brand.

  47. amy says...

    What a great post and beautiful woman. Such a great perspective! I did not experience a loss of a child but my grandmother (Who was like my mother) passed away about 7 months ago. She had just bought my children bunny plates for easter and ever since she passed there has a been a little bunny who comes to visit sporadically in my backyard. I know it’s my grandmother looking out for me and I feel her presence. It’s nice to hear that others also see their lost ones in nature. xoxxoo

    • S says...

      I love this

  48. Crosby says...

    For those who love the look of the Jessie Kamm pants but not the $400 price tag or *very* limited size options, Everlane’s Wide Leg Crop is $68 and Madewell’s Emmet Pant is similarly priced and has more inclusive size options! #widelegcropsforall :)

    • Emily says...

      I have also bought 2 wonderful pairs from oldnavy!

    • Melanie says...

      YES!!!!

    • Charlotte says...

      Thanks Crosby! My jaw dropped at the $400 price tag, when did that become a thing??

    • liz says...

      I’ve found that everlane’s are not very high rise at all on my frame, unfortunately. More of a mid rise in my opinion. I’ve had better luck with Emmets or vintage sailors

    • Sarah says...

      I have tried both and found the Madewells to be much more flattering. The leg is slightly longer, so it avoids that dangerous mid calf area that just isn’t flattering on anyone. Love my Emmett pants!

    • Also, Jesse Kamm is super not ethical – she pays her employees minimum wage in LA for $400 cotton canvas pants. She is a profiteer and sizist, and I’d never support her company. If you want to shop ethically from companies that pay their employees well (and enjoy the high waisted look) check out Elizabeth Suzann and Conscious Clothing, both of whom treat their employees like gold and make gorgeous clothes that last a lifetime.

    • Crosby says...

      Great point Kat! I wholeheartedly agree that if you can afford to, Elizabeth Suzann and Conscious Clothing make wonderful investments and are great, truly ethical options.

  49. Thank you for sharing about your mother and son. <3 Sending well wishes to you and your family.

  50. EP says...

    Bravo for telling it like it is in terms of being a mother of three after a stillbirth. I lost my second (a daughter) during labor almost 2 years ago. When people see me, they see my son and my new baby girl and they think I have 2 kids, but so much of my mind, my energy, my heart, and my body are (and will always be) dedicated to my angel. It’s so hard for people who don’t understand stillbirths to understand that. Really inspired by you Elaina–during this hard month of what would have been my daughter’s second birthday, it was comforting to know I’m not in this alone.

    • My first son was stillborn and people always comment about how sad it is that I only have one child. If only they knew how much I was a mother both here and to my angel baby in heaven. Hugs and solidarity.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      what beautiful comments. thank you so much for sharing your sweet children with us.

      my friend kate lost her son to stillbirth and wrote a beautiful essay about how she still parents him from afar, in case you find it helpful/comforting to read: https://cupofjo.com/2013/11/motherhood-mondays-i-had-a-stillborn-baby/

      sending you so much love.

  51. liz says...

    gorrrrgeous. great style, seems like a great human too

  52. kelsey says...

    I began reading assuming it was another beautifully curated fashion post, which it was, but was caught off guard by her mentioning the passing of her son. I just lost my first baby at 3 days in November and I, too, am learning how strong and how loved I am. “I am definitely a mother of [one].” Thank you for sharing, Elaina.

    • Hugs. Best advice I ever received was “Be kind to yourself” especially on the hard days.

    • tina says...

      I’m so sorry, Kelsey. What was your baby’s name? Sending you hugs and stars from Greece. Tina, x

    • kelsey says...

      Thank you, Lisette and Tina.

      Her name is Grace. xo

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Grace. What a beautiful name for your sweet daughter. I’m so sorry for your loss, Kelsey.

    • tina says...

      What a beautiful name. I’ll keep Grace and you in my thoughts today, it that’s okay. x

  53. Yael says...

    I have a son who comes to me as a monarch, too. The cycle of life is very beautiful. Blessings to your family. xx

  54. Samantha says...

    A butterfly sat on a flower for the entirety of my grandmother’s funeral service (at the cemetery). Now, my family has odd encounters with them all the time. A butterfly followed me down a street in Germany, one flew in my dads open car window and sat on his dashboard while driving home, one landed on my moms head at a park. My grandmother is still with us everywhere!

  55. Allie says...

    Love this! Thanks for sharing this beautiful woman.

    Have to admit though sometimes when I’m reading these, I laugh out loud thinking of what my post would look like. “And here she is again in skinny jeans with a t-shirt and hoodie. This is different than yesterday because yesterday she also had peanut butter smeared down her back shoulder from one of her sticky children.”

    • E says...

      haha same — today I’m wearing one of my three favorite pairs of yoga pants, brushed my teeth, and here we are.

    • Caroline says...

      Totally agree with this!

    • Shannon says...

      This made me nearly spit out my lunch! So funny and relatable!

    • Megan says...

      I was Thinking this too”here she is, excelling at her frumpy sillouette again, in the same color scheme of black and gray”!

    • Emily says...

      I have similar thoughts on the home tours. Mine would be: “And here is the living room, strewn with toys and decorated with Crayola washable markers. Next is the sun room, strewn with toys and Cheerios…”, etc. ad finitum.

    • Rebecca S says...

      Yes! I always think the same thing. I make an effort to dress nicely, but on days when I’m not going anywhere special, I just don’t always put in the effort. I always want to know if these people have days like that or if they ALWAYS put in the effort. I would also love to see a week of outfits for cold climates. Because in the winter, I can be wearing an awesome outfit, but then I through over my giant sleeping bag coat, and it’s like, why did I even bother. And socks are typically necessary too, which eliminates some pant styles and many shoe styles.

    • Laura C. says...

      @Rebecca: “. Because in the winter, I can be wearing an awesome outfit, but then I through over my giant sleeping bag coat, and it’s like, why did I even bother”—> this

    • Katherine says...

      Ha! Yes to this. Mine would read, “And here she is, two months postpartum, still wearing maternity leggings and living in nursing tanks with cardigans that are accessorized by spit up stains on the shoulder.” Weird wispy postpartum hair growth is a fun bonus too.

    • Nina says...

      I am totally here for
      – a week in winter outfits
      – a week in not leaving the house outfits

    • Sasha L says...

      I just have to say, I would love to see all of this. Really! It’s so joyful to me to see the real world of women trying their best to make happy lives, in their dog hair covered, PB sticky, whiny, cluttered, stack of bills (that are maybe gonna get paid?) counter tops, left overs for dinner again, love filled homes. Real life is beautiful, and inspiring.

    • Sara says...

      Ladies, my eyes are tearing this is so good.
      Jo & co, please please consider these series: As Is Week of Outfits and As Is Home Tours. Women in the day to day in their day to day home.

      Also, I love these posts and this community: smart, funny, and compassionate.

    • Stephanie says...

      Mine would be like, here she is in the best office attire she could muster after despondently removing her yoga pants at 7am this morning. She’s paired her trademark black pants with a shirt, and a blazer, plus uncomfortable shoes. Because she doesn’t work in art, or fashion, or even tech. And needs money.

  56. Ashley says...

    Home tour!
    Home tour!
    Home tour!

    • seconded!

    • MJ says...

      I second that!

    • Laura C says...

      Agreed! Such a beautiful home!

    • Kim says...

      Home tour please!

  57. Paige says...

    So chic, and what a lovely perspective on life! I love all these outfits, but would have appreciated more of her thoughts on each one. We really only got details/background info on the high-waisted pants look.

    • eloiseq says...

      I was thinking the same thing. I think this was a first, regarding not a lot of info on the clothing style/thoughts.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you for the feedback! here’s another thing she said:
      “I love vintage Levi’s because when you find a pair that actually fits, it’s like finding the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Vintage pairs have often either been altered, or they’ll say they’re one size and fit like another — but when you find one that works, it’s like they were made for you. I’ve found a pair at the Rose Bowl flea market for two dollars! General Store in Venice also sources really good pairs. (https://shop-generalstore.com/)”

    • Lauren says...

      Ya I wondered that too – it was probably just an oopsie that they’ll watch out for in the future! :0 :)

  58. I followed on to her IG account to get to know her a bit more. Beautiful, funny, happy family.

  59. Emily says...

    What a beautiful and insightful woman, this was the best profile yet!

  60. Lacy says...

    Thank you for opening your outfits and heart to us, Elaina! I’m wondering who took these beautiful photos? For some reason the first, with the wind playing in their hair, reminds me of Annie Leibovitz.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      the wonderful nicki sebastian xoxoxo

  61. Merel says...

    Joanna, you should get this haircut! Would look beautiful on you!

    • Joaquina says...

      This cut looks great on Elaina but you need to have the right texture
      and thickness. I have a slight wave, finer hair and when I cut it into a bob….
      ugh noooo. Totally not flattering. It’s definitely for a specific type of hair! but I do agree it looks fab on her.