11 Tips for Dining Out With Kids

A while ago I noticed while tagging along with my husband with three young kids to a work trip to a Ritz Carlton resort, that my kids rose to the tone of a place… This was in part because I coached them that we needed “Ritz Carton manners” – now that is code for us to sit up straight, use good manners etc. It’s fun to take kids super fancy and have them practice. Also, while we don’t usually pull out the screens at restaurants, I try to remember I don’t know what anyone else has going on for their family. A friend once commented – how sad look at that whole family staring at their screens at this nice restaurant, and I said … “What if they’re 10 days into a 3 week road trip and just spent every waking minute together…. maybe – everyone gets to read their IPAD – makes perfect sense?

As someone who waitressed for many many years I always loved early tables! It was less hectic and I could make some “extra” money instead of just standing around waiting for seven to hit:)

Great tips! What has helped is going earlier as suggested when it’s less busy and just keeping my kids occupied before the food arrives. I also learned not to get their drinks yet until the food arrives because my kids will fill up on the drinks.

I wanted to share a viewpoint on the game hangman. Thanks for the opportunity to share this! I am so thankful that this blog is such an amazing community of folks who want to help other see things from other points of view & provide nuanced input. I learn so much here from you all.

Thank you, too, for your commitment to supporting, widening, & deepening the dialog about so many issues of justice, inclusivity, compassion, & understanding; inspiring us to take action to make a difference; & providing us resources to help us do so. I am so very thankful, appreciative, & admiring.

As director of an adult ESL program that works with adult asylum-seekers, refugees, & immigrants from around the world, I was surprised when I saw our teachers leading games of hangman in our classrooms. I think that the teachers, who are passionate, beloved, difference-makers, just innocently & cluelessly pulled the game out of their [mostly white, privileged] backgrounds & classroom experiences without thinking about how the game & its imagery might feel from the perspective of our students. When I asked the teachers to move on to a different activity, I had several students whisper thank you.

Many of our students come from places where hanging is practiced as a form of capital punishment if not vigilante punishment, & are escaping situations of danger, torture, threats, & intimidation. In our own country, so many folks live with the daily reality of knowing that someone might use disgusting threats of lynching & images of nooses to harass, intimidate, threaten, humiliate, & bully them. Many of us have experienced it personally. Many of us also know someone who has committed suicide by hanging.

Whereas I don’t think that anyone playing hangman supports these activities or in any way thinks that playing the game might give that impression, I do think that are better simple language games out there & better simple games with fewer problematic issues related to their imagery. I’d love it if this generation were the one that quit playing & teaching hangman.

I say & do many things out of habit, clueless to how someone else might receive it, until someone gently educates me, whether personally, through media, or through communities like this one. I’m sure that there are readers who will provide other perspectives on the issues of language games or games with problematic imagery. I look forward to learning more from you all!

Thank you so much again!

My children are 2, 3, 5 and 7 so dinners out are not typically graceful. I live in Boston and took my 5 and 7 year old to NYC last weekend on the train. Maybe it was just being with 1/2 of our family, but at 5 and 7 I quickly realized I didn’t need any tricks for dining out at those ages. We ate four leisurely meals out together and they relished being the “big kids” and were so well behaved and happy to try new foods (and to share). Being with them equally made my heart swell with pride and gutted me with yet another realization of how fast they are growing up.

I’m not a mother so this doesn’t apply, but I just want to say – even when a post is sponsored, there’s still plenty of adorable/usable content. And those faces! This blog is my home, seriously.

We really enjoy going out to lunch and dinner with our 20 month old. We do it at least once a week. I definitely agree with the “don’t show up hangry” and “bring a toy” tip. Furtheron, we usually:
1: Have her sit on our lap before dinner arrives, and sit her in the high chair when it’s time to eat (so she won’t get bored of sitting there)
2: Feed her off our plates rather than ordering a kid’s menu every time, especially when time is a little limited (she often thinks it’s exciting to share our food as well)
3: Lower your expectations and realize that kids have good days and bad days – also in restaurants. Sometimes we just opt for getting the check early. Sometimes we stay long after desert.

Also I love your perception about how quiet places give your kids a more mellow energy! The more I think about it, the more I think that’s the case here too

I’d like to add that it’s also OK to NOT eat out if it’s too difficult. We have 2 & 3 year old boys and no matter how much I plan/bring, eating out with them is absolutely miserable and stressful. I don’t know why I felt some sort of pressure to take them to restaurants like our friends did. My husband and I just decided together that this is a season of life that we’ll just order in and get a sitter when we want to eat out. So for now, take-out on a picnic blanket is the way to go. :)

Such a great post! After living abroad for 20 years I was very excited to go to cafés again! (in France). I go every day and sometimes before school with my 5 year old. He sometimes walks there BYHIMSELF! I definitely feed him before going; he’s not excited about drinking or eating out, just about being in this grown-up place! At the café we order him a drink (in France it’s mostly menthe-à-l’eau, mint syrup with lots of water), or nothing but the waiters usually have something for him like a mini cookie. We buy the newspaper and he can have one page to draw on it. If we go to a restaurant we go reaaally early, like one hour before lunch time; if our son is hungry, it’s generally too late to go then ;-), and an empty restaurant is a good way to feel comfortable with the place, waiters have time for a joke. Then other people arrive and it’s exciting for him to watch them coming!

I have experienced success with a half-sized memory game. I throw say 10 pairs from the game into a bag before we go and we can play memory flat on the table in a small space and when that gets old I throw them all into the bag and shake it up, take turns picking to see if we can grab a pair blindly.

But does anyone find it dreadful with restaurant toys (the crayons!) constantly falling to the ground and rolling away? “Excuse me, May I send my 3 yr old under your table? Our lion match is under your seat.”

A thought- how many times have you seen adults behaving terribly in restaurants!? Rude to waiting staff, poor table manners, breaking things etc. The last one is on my mind as in the summer my 3 year old accidentally knocked over a wine glass on a restaurant table and it broke- she’d been playing with a toy dinosaur quietly waiting for food and moved her hand without thinking. At the time I was so uncomfortable, oh no what will people think, then I thought hang about- adults break things all the damn time. How come someone little trying their best gets less slack than someone older having a whoops moment? It’s been a good mindset change.

A game of “Would you rather” while you’re waiting for food works really well. I just google the kids version on my iPhone… This works for birthday parties too if things are suddenly out of control!

Have to add our tip for dining out with a BABY (yes!) – sit at the bar or in a cozy corner table or booth, order a cocktail (if you’re drinking) and an appetizer for there, place your dinner order to go. ?? When you get home, put baby down, and relax on the couch with a movie and dinner. Best! Of! Both! Worlds!
My husband and I have been doing more and more dates without our daughter lately, and I oddly miss the days of having her tag along, sleeping or mesmerized by the lighting.

Sushi train type places work best for us : family friendly, food instantly appears before your eyes (going past on the train track), you can help yourself, small plates to try different things, you can see it before you try it. It’s a win.

We live in the Philippines where most restaurants are in the malls. My husband works abroad and for 5 years our son had been an only child. I’ll bring him to the mall and engage him on the way. I’ll tell him what we’ll do at the mall, what he’ll see and where we’ll eat. If we’d been to that restaurant before, I’ll tell him stories of our past experience and who was with us. We used to bring 3 small toy cars that fit in my bag that he played while waiting for the food or waiting for me to finish. I made sure that he’d count them before leaving home and he’d count them again before leaving the restaurant. I told him that if he lost any, I’d never buy him another toy. In a way, that made him responsible and learned to take care of his toys. Lately, I’ll tell him the night before if we’re going to the mall the next day and enumerate all the errands that we have to do. He never complains even if the list is long. In return, I’ll ask him where and what he wants to eat.

We have a six month old and here are a few tips that have worked for us in the infant stage. Get a high top table if possible – that way if the baby needs to be rocked or bounced, its not awkward for one of you to stand next to the table while the other remains sitting. Also, depending on the weather, outside tables always seemed to keep him calmer than inside. We also routinely go out and order a drink and appetizer and then get the entree to go – lets us at least get out for a little while and socialize together while also not testing the time limit on the baby or trying to maneuver one person holding the baby while eating.

Love reading all these other tips to use as he gets older!

My child hated cafes, and in Australia there is a pretty full on culture of no sugar for kids and I embraced it. Then we went to Paris when my boy was 2 1/2, and into a cafe to get out of the blistering cold and in swoops the waiter, pops a blackberry cordial in front of my boy… he is happy – yes happy, and when later he grizzles (in Paris one has to dine long with wine right?), before a moment has passed the waiter has placed a lolly in front of my boy. Every cafe had a similar approach and to this day he loves cafes. Viva la France!

We don’t bring too much extra stuff. It stresses me out when other moms bring extra food, throw away placemats, toys, crayons, highchair covers, iPads, sticker charts, etc. My son does well when we keep it simple and show him how to behave at a restaurant. We also try to maintain the “no phones at the table” rule.