Food

An Easy Way to Make New Friends

An Easy Way to Make New Friends

Have you made any new friends recently? (And why is it so difficult?!!!!) Here’s a cool idea…

Jacklyn Meyer, a food enthusiast from St. Louis, had a clever approach for meeting new people: “I started a cookbook club,” she told me. “It’s like a book club, but when you meet, everyone brings a dish from the same cookbook.”

The guest list began with people Jacklyn knew, but her guests are encouraged to bring friends, too. So far, the group has made their way through 10 books, including Alison Roman’s Dining In (“We made the cookies that broke Instagram,” she said), Pizza Camp (“Somehow, our group is not of the pepperoni fan base, so we replaced everything with bacon,”) and Over Easy (“French toast breakfast burritos!”)

“We haven’t hit a cookbook that was bad… yet,” said Jacklyn. “If a certain recipe ends up being a flop, that person can just bring a bottle of wine.” Usually, the gatherings are pretty low-key, ranging from 8 to 12 guests. “Everyone comes to just hang out — at the last one we actually ended up watching Parks and Recreation for a couple of hours. It is not a rager,” she laughed.

The group meets every other month, alternating hosts, and votes on the next the cookbook when they’re together.

An Easy Way to Make New Friends

The cookbook club’s spread from Dining In.

Fun, right? In my experience moving to a bigger city, I’ve found it challenging to make friends because I so rarely bump into the same people twice. A reoccurring club helps create a community and makes it easier to get to know others with something in common.

Other easy club ideas could include:

  • Articles Club
  • Documentary Club
  • Walking Club
  • Wine Tasting Club
  • Podcast Club (where you listen to the episode beforehand, then discuss)
  • Timothée Chalamet Fan Club???

  • A reader named Maggie had another great idea: “Start a club with a very systematic rule: you invite one friend, who is instructed to invite a friend who doesn’t know you,” she wrote. “It guarantees that everyone there only knows one other person.”

    How have you made new friends as an adult? What has worked for you?

    P.S. On making friends as an adult, and 12 great comments on friendship.

    (Top photo by Nina Leen. Second photo from Jacklyn Meyer.)

    1. Loulou says...

      I love themed get-togethers. I used to host cooking nights where I used to live, and I would love to be part of a cookbook club now or any other themed club in Montreal. Anyone in Montreal who wants to start a club?! I have many interests and I love talking to people and being part of a group. Let me know!

    2. kimberly says...

      🙋🏻‍♀️
      aimee, i’m in sf and so interested!

    3. Kirsty Magallon says...

      Hey CoJ!

      On the back of a lot of these comments, would it maybe be possible to set up a map or something for CoJ fans to find each other? Seems like your readers have a lot in common, and it would be super helpful for all of us to be able to find people near to us to throw our own cookbook clubs/friday night meatball suppers/just grab a coffee and pore over your articles.

    4. Aimee says...

      If anyone is in San Francisco and interested in a cookbook club, I’ve got a group and we’re meeting up soon. Let me know if you’re SF-based and you’d like to join!

      • Ashley F. says...

        Hi! I’m in SF and I’d love to join.

      • Alison says...

        If you’re serious about this, I’d be very interested. I’m relatively new to SF and only know a handful of people.

      • LS says...

        Aimee- I’d be interested! I’m in Oakland. How can we get in touch?

      • Hi Aimee! I replied earlier to Lucy’s post, but thought I’d reply here too. I’d love to join! My instagram is http://www.instagram.com/quotidianphotography – I’ve already connected with Lucy there and would love to connect with you and some others!

    5. MM says...

      I joined my local ski club! Some of the best buddies in the world, I would not have otherwise connected with!
      Blessed.

    6. Cindy says...

      I so love all of the ideas! anyone near Frankfort IL want to start a cookbook/gourmet/wine club?

    7. Louisa says...

      I love this idea! My parents get together with friends once a month to read a play out loud. They take turns picking the play and assigning roles, and one person reads the stage directions. None of them are actors, but they have so much fun. At “intermission” they take a break to eat a potluck dinner.
      We recently (well, 3 years ago) moved abroad to Vienna, and I’m always thinking about trying something like this, but I haven’t had the guts!

      • Sabrina says...

        Hi! Firstly, your parents play club is such a cute idea. Secondly, my husband and I moved to Vienna about two years ago. Want to start a club and be friends? My name is Sabrina and my instagram name is hothitsshortypants.

    8. Brilliant! It’s funny how these simple solutions don’t often occur to us- lol! I’m inspired to try to start some sort of club now. I’ll be going to bed racking my brain for a good theme. Thank you for the wonderful idea! So simple…

    9. I made some of the best friends I’ve found in a long time through a podcast club! I met a couple of the members of the group through work. I was pretty new to Denver and one of them mentioned their weekly “Radio Nights” and I thought “oh my gosh how do I get in on that?!” And then a couple of weeks later they invited me to join! We switch off hosting every week. We always start with dinner, during which we chat and laugh a lot, and then we get cozy and put on the next episode of whatever podcast we’re listening to at the moment. Right now it’s Heaven’s Gate. One of the best parts is it sparks such wonderful conversation. Heaven’s Gate has had us talking about religion, God, extraterrestrial life, and more. It’s so much more fun than book clubs I’ve been a part of because, unlike book club where not everyone reads the book, with the podcast, we listen together and actually get to discuss the content.

      I wish I had a magic answer to “how do you make new friends as an adult?” I’m such an introvert! These are the first new friends I’ve made in a long time. I’ve been living in Denver for just over a year and it took the majority of that first year to find them. The biggest lesson I’ve learned is, more than anything, to have patience and to have grace with myself whenever the loneliness feels overwhelming. Oh! And be brave and say yes whenever a new friend prospect extends an invitation. :)

      • Valerie says...

        Oh my goodness, your club sounds like a dream. I just moved back to Denver after 10 years away and it seems everyone I once knew here has migrated to the coasts. Plus the city has changed so much since I left – I hardly recognize it anymore! So I spend a lot of time by myself, walking around listening to podcasts :)

        I am also quite introverted and feel exhausted from “trying” to meet people. I have been saying yes whenever possible, volunteering, participating in various community meetings, etc, but nothing sticks. I guess it’s just a slow and lonely process, isn’t it? It feels promising to know women like you are out there somewhere.

    10. Becca says...

      I once met this band from Taiwan called Unfamiliar Friends Party. The band members had originlaly met each other at that kind of party, where the rule is to bring a friend with you who doesn’t know the rest of the group. Hence, naming their band Unfamiliar Friends Party. Thought that was so cute and funny!

    11. Jacquie says...

      I picked up a tennis racquet for the first time at the age of 35 and took an adult learn to play tennis class at our local city park. It was a lot of fun and got me off of the couch. Now 7 years later, I play about 3 times a week and have met some of my best friends this way. I still meet new people playing in tournaments where you are randomly paired with other players or going to a local parks’ tennis drop in games. I never would have thought tennis was going to be such a big part of my life, or that I would just put myself out there as much as I do. I think I am a late bloomer with lots of things like friendship and hobbies, it’s kind of exciting to wonder what will come next.

      Maybe another way to work this question of how do you make friends is, how would someone make friends with you? Where would someone meet you?

    12. Julie says...

      I’ve always thought the “Finer Things Club” on the Office to be kinda neat. They got together once a month at lunchtime and discussed classic books and ate fancy finger foods and just enjoyed the “finer” things in life. Unfortunately no one i work with would be down for that. Haha!

    13. Jess says...

      For me, it’s been volleyball. I played in high school, picked it back up in a women’s league a few years out of college, and have played every week since (10+years) in a variety of leagues. There’s a such a strong culture about it- the people you meet usually play multiple times per week, so someone is always connecting you to other games and other groups of people. I’ve lived in 3 different states and found it to be the same everywhere! Plus, there’s something amazing about the connection you develop with people over time playing on a team, even if you have NOTHING else in common except the love of the sport (literally, I have played and currently play with people from all walks of life, from early adulthood to late life, people who have different kinds of careers and beliefs and families!) You learn to support, coach and guide each other and when that translates into friendships off the court it’s even more meaningful because of your shared experiences.

    14. Allie O says...

      I recently started a knitting club! It’s fun to have a relaxing activity to do together and we rotate hosting in our small SF apts. We have beginners, some really skilled ladies and some friends bring their coloring book (we don’t discriminate)! It sounds like we’re grandma’s when we’re going off to knitting nite. I always wanted a knitting circle so decided to start one with just a few interested friends. I love it and feel so renewed afterwards-filled with advice (about work, family, relationships), wine and some progress on a never ending blanket project!

    15. Lucy K says...

      What a wonderful post! Now that I’m out of grad school and working, I have found it really hard to find my tribe. After living for three years in SF, I’ve realized that my only community is my work community, and our outings often turn into complaining sessions about work. I have been searching for a new community and haven’t been able to find one that is the right fit. Perhaps the COJ community will come through? If there are any COJ readers who are down for a monthly cookbook club or show and tell club in SF, I’m in.

      • Aimee says...

        Hi Lucy! I’ve been in SF for 2 years and share similar feelings. I’ve been talking with a friend about starting a cookbook club, would love you have you join if you’re interested.

      • Ashley F. says...

        Hi Lucy! I live in SF as well (1.5 years now) and I work from home full time, which has made it even harder to make friends! I’d love to do a monthly cookbook club – sounds right up my alley!

      • Lauren says...

        Hey Lucy, I agree! I work from home and have found it tough to find my tribe over the past few years in the Bay Area. Full disclosure, I may move down to southern CA next month, but in the meantime I’m over in Oakland and would love a cookbook or show & tell club!

      • Aimee says...

        Hi Lucy! Not sure if the comment went through but I live in SF and am organizing a cookbook club. Let me know if you want in!

      • Aimee says...

        Hi Lucy – I’m in SF and planning a cookbook club. Would love to have you join!

      • Aimee says...

        Hey Lucy! I’m in SF and am starting a club. Let’s connect!

      • Lucy K says...

        OMG this is so fabulous!!! You ladies have made my day!! What’s the best way for us to find each other? My instagram is https://www.instagram.com/lulu_baloo/

      • I’m moving to Berkeley next month from Chicago and I’d love to be a part of a cookbook club / craft club with y’all! Here’s my insta – would love to make some new friends in my new city! https://www.instagram.com/bnelson606/

      • Alison says...

        I would also be super interested in joining an SF Cookbook Club. I moved her about 7 months ago and only know a handful of people, and I love to cook. Here’s my Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/samutter/

    16. Ann says...

      Running has led me to some of my closest friendships. Running alongside someone gives you the time and space to really get to know someone. I’ve had some of my most personal conversations this way. Most recently I joined a group of ladies who met through their kids, and who I knew from friends of friends. We all run at different paces, and some like to run longer distances, but we meet at one common spot on Sunday, early before the day and family life really starts, and run a few miles together. We all just want the company and that opportunity to reconnect while getting our training miles in. And the great thing is, even if someone can’t make a run, there’s always someone who can.

    17. Gen says...

      Some acquaintances and I briefly started a New Yorker club (in Portland, OR). It lasted one issue/meeting! It’s hard enough to read the whole thing every week, much less meet up and talk about all of it on the regular. ;) I did think it was a brilliant concept. Tossing it out here to y’all – perhaps someone else will pick it up where we left off!

    18. Heather says...

      I’ve moved a number of times as an adult and have had to make new friends a few times. I honestly have treated it a bit like dating. Find somebody who seems interesting, who I have things in common with, that could maybe teach me something and work up the guts to ask them to hang out (this could be somebody from work, from volunteering, an acquaintance you keep running into , etc). Lunch, happy hour, a walk, a park date with kids, etc. People are all around the the chances are they haven’t decided that they have all of the friends that they need and are open to making more friends too!
      The key is to keep asking. Don’t just hang out once and leave it there. It’s okay if you’re the person that initiates multiple times in a row (they might be bad at it but still want to hang out). I’ve always assumed that if somebody didn’t want to hang out they wouldn’t respond or would just always be too busy (believe me that’s happened too!).

    19. Megan says...

      My friends and I do wine club! Pick a new varietal every month, everyone brings a bottle (usually less than $20), and the hosts coordinate snacks that pair well with the wine. It’s the best!

      • Meg says...

        My friends and I do a variation of this, too! We pick a type of wine, and the host buys a slightly pricier ($20-30) bottle while everyone else brings a less expensive version. We cover the labels and number each bottle, and as we drink each one, we chart everyone’s reaction to it. At the end, we all guess which bottle was the expensive one (inevitably incorrect). Everyone’s gets silly and sauced, and we end up learning about great inexpensive wines. Awesome!

    20. Christina says...

      Love this idea!

      • Karen says...

        But how do they get home afterwards!?!?

    21. Susan says...

      Many years ago, I ran a café in a museum and met great people who worked in the various departments (art restoration, accounting, education, volunteer coordination, etc). People would stop by the kitchen and we always had great chats, but I never saw anyone outside of work. One person decided that there was potential for real friendships if we had a chance to get together outside of work so she came up with the great idea of hosting potlucks with the theme of whatever special exhibit was showing at the museum (American quilts, the Dutch Masters, Weaponry and Armor, Seascapes) This was back in the late 80’s and early 90’s so no internet or Pinterest. It was great fun and I made some good friends along the way. We only met 3-4 times a year, the group got to know each other outside of the museum and those of us who enjoyed cooking got a chance to show off our culinary skills.

      • Patti says...

        This is wonderful.

      • Julie says...

        This is so cool! I would love those “inside peeks” into the museum world.

    22. liz says...

      Ive met friends as an adult – walking my dog (borrow a dog if need be), taking art classes (lots of time to chat while drawing), traveling in a group, volunteering (built in shared interests/values).

      • liz says...

        P.S. look around your life for a really popular person and invite them to do something!

    23. Em says...

      Love these ideas, and I could relate to the need to make new friends when I moved around a lot in my 20s. Now I have the opposite problem, though! My husband and I now live close to our families and many friends from childhood and college. We have a young baby, and often feel over-scheduled with social and family obligations. Although I was lonely at times in some of those other cities I now sometimes long for the empty weekends. Would love a post on setting boundaries and carving out time away from busy social schedules!

      • liz says...

        I had a therapist explain to me that “Im sorry Im busy” could mean busy not hanging out with people. It really helped me set boundaries. Also, telling people up front things like “oh every Friday is we collapse on the couch night, we aren’t available then” helps set expectations. I’ve found holding firm with the first few times people try to force me, they get it.

      • Joanna Goddard says...

        really great advice, liz.

      • Maya says...

        I’m a chronic over-scheduler, the exact opposite of my loves-to-chill husband. After many years of living together (and especially now that we have a 13-month old) he’s insisted on only scheduling one day of the weekend, leaving the other day open. It’s something I constantly push against when putting plans together, but he’s incredibly diligent with keeping me to it. And when the day off comes, I’m SO grateful. It’s marvelous having an unscheduled day a week.

    24. Lisa says...

      We used to host an open Friday night dinner every other week. We had a google doc with sign-ups for the next four dinners (2 months) and served the same menu at each since there was no guest overlap (which made planning easy and allowed us to eat seasonally). Whenever we met someone new, we’d tell them about it and if they expressed interest we’d add them to the email list. Every two months we’d send out an email and people could sign up and bring a friend or a sibling in town, etc. They’d bring an app or beverage to share and we provided the rest. It worked amazingly well. We met a lot of new people, and friends from different areas of our life sometimes became even better friends with each other, helped each other with work ideas, etc.

    25. Katie Weltner says...

      A friend and I started our own cookbook club – but instead of each buying (or borrowing from the library) a cookbook, we share one! We pull out a book we haven’t cooked from a ton, and pass it back and forth until we’ve run out of the most tempting options. We have dinner about once a week and take turns making a dish from it. Right now we’re doing Smitten Kitchen’s Every Day and IT’S AWESOME. Every dish is a home-run. We always seem to spend the last 15 minutes of dinner drooling over what we’ll be cooking the next week. It’s a great excuse to get together every week and gives us something to talk about. Since we started, I’d say we moved from “friends” to “good friends” – and that makes me so so so happy.

      • Erin says...

        I want to try this! I have several cookbooks I’ve barely used, and this seems like a great way to do it.

    26. Karen says...

      Love the idea of this and have a funny story. I moved to a new town 20 years ago and was desperate for friends. I met a few women at church who had a cooking club and did the same thing. Everyone made a different part of the dinner: app, meat, sides, salad, dessert, etc. I wanted to be included so badly, but their rule was ‘no newcomers unless someone else leaves’ (or dies)… no kidding. Their reason was that they had enough dishes for the meal and there wouldn’t be room around the table. I would have been happy bringing a bottle of wine and sitting on the floor! Years later, they got tired of cooking so decided to meet at restaurants instead. Guess what? Still not inviting newcomers! My husband called them the ‘secret squirrel club’ which made me laugh, but I still was hurt at their unfriendliness even though I knew them all personally and interacted with them on other levels within the church and family groups. That’s why I love your ideas, because you invite strangers along. YAY

      • Lisa says...

        We started a Rosh Chodesh group (it’s a Jewish women’s group) and had this exact concern. We wanted the group to be stable enough to encourage deep friendships and intimate conversations, but we didn’t want to be exclusive. We decided to put a 6 month commitment on it. Everyone had to commit to coming 5 out of the 6 months (dates were known in advance) and at the 6 month mark we would reevaluate. Some members would drop out for the next session if they had something going on in their lives that precluded that commitment and others could join.

      • Danielle says...

        Karen- I so relate to to this story! When I moved across the country to be with my boyfriend I imagined that I would become friends with the women in the friend group. However many of them went to college together and had known each other for years. We hung out in couples groups but I was never invited to any “girl” things.
        I finally threw in the towel when I kept mentioning what a good idea a cookbook club was when I discovered that they took my suggestion- started one, used the cookbook I raved about and made the dish I recommended- and I wasn’t invited. I realized that I was never going to break into that group no matter how hard I tried.

    27. Carly says...

      Hoping this isn’t too much of a segue from the club idea- maybe a way to further connect to club members?? But the timing! I was just thinking yesterday about all the friends I have made in two years of life changes that have limited my social interaction and seen good friends move away… we have all gotten to the next level of friendship through service; either because I chose to serve someone else, or because someone else served me. Bringing dinner, watching children, picking something up while on an errand, swapping leftovers… Being friendly and looking for ways to really help the people around me has made a huge difference in feeling connected and part of my community. That and inviting others. “We are going to the park at 4, anyone want to come??”

    28. Madeline Polton says...

      My grandmother, who was an only child had a saying that clearly served her well since she was so social….”If you want a friend, be a friend” So simple, direct and honest. It also worked for me, with old and new friends alike.

      • kristina says...

        I think one of the frustrations to which posts like this aim to respond is that as we get older and have more independent, isolated/isolatable lives, finding people to whom to “be a friend” to gets harder. Do we just start knocking on neighbors’ doors and ask how we can be their friend? Do we offer unsolicited advice to strangers picking out melons at the grocery store? Do we walk up to folks on the street and offer to be shopping buddies? Getting to talk about the practical nitty-gritty with regard to becoming friends with others is what’s helpful.

      • Agnes says...

        I love this comment, Madeline. This exact saying was on my best friend’s wall at her home when I was a kid, and I never forgot it, and I’ve never been without friends. Being a friend means (so much more than this but here are some examples) – saying hi to someone who looks lonely and striking up a conversation when you’re at an event. Going places where you will have things in common with others and smiling, again striking up conversation, especially with people who look a bit lost. Seeing a need and offering to help meet it, big or small. Yes, even in the grocery store if that’s where you are. Making small talk when you’re around new people. Being aware of others and not just yourself in every day situations. I believe it’s more about the attitude than anything else, and being friendly and starting from a place of ‘liking others until they give you reason not to’ is a good place to begin. Just my 2 cents.

    29. Nancey says...

      I talk to everyone, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I have to talk to people, I make friends in the oddest places. My most recent friend is a woman who was doing an ultrasound of my knee and we just totally hit it off. I think I joke around a lot and that makes people comfortable? I’m mostly self-deprecating and then people feel at ease opening up because I’m making fun of myself? I think as I’ve gotten older it’s gotten easier because truthfully I don’t care anymore, I am just me and not trying to impress anyone, sadly when I was younger and was TRYING to impress everyone no one was impressed. lol.

    30. Caroline says...

      I started a “Friday Night Adventure Club” with 6 friends as we were all tired of finding plans each week and having trouble mustering energy to do more than stay in. Each Friday a new person is in charge of planning an event, and let’s the group know the morning of to keep it a surprise. It can be anything from cooking pasta from scratch to trying out a new venue downtown to playing improv- anything the host considers an adventure. We can invite anyone else along for the ride, but the Club itself is a secret.

    31. Elle says...

      Oh my gosh I am here for the Timothée Chalamet Fan Club

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hypothetically speaking , how should we structure the meetings?? Start with a slideshow? Watch all of the videos of him in my Instagram explore page???

      • K says...

        Hahahaha stella you are so great. I’d really appreciate if some Armie Hammer pics were integrated into the slideshow :) :)

    32. I have some girlfriends that I met doing something very similar! They have a “soup night” where one gal is in charge of picking the soup and divvying out who brings what ingredients. The gal in charge rotates, as does the house (also the host and soup chef are never one in the same). Whatever new friends come only bring wine. Since soup is basically all prep, it’s so easy to have people in the kitchen chopping ingredients and then basically no clean up!

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        LOVE this so much, Maggie!

    33. Sophia F. says...

      My four-year-old is basically a professional friend-maker and it blows my mind. She will walk up to any kid at a playground (any! age, gender, race, size of group are all irrelevant), strike up a conversation, and then say ‘do you want to be my friend?’ It’s almost always a yes, and within five minutes they’re happily playing. Here’s the kicker: when it’s time to leave, if she has enjoyed playing, she will find the kid’s relevant grownup and ASK FOR THEIR NUMBER. Most grownups find this so disarmingly charming that we swap numbers and either set up a play date or plan to contact each other next time one of us is heading to the zoo, etc. I’m trying to be half as ballsy as she is, but the lessons I’ve learned are 1: find your comfort zone, somewhere you are socially at ease and have a decent chance of connecting with people you like and 2: just ask! So often we (ahem, I) avoid connecting with people because we don’t want to seem over enthusiastic or ‘weird’… but what’s more flattering than having someone say they think you’re great and would like to meet again? Friendship starts with friendliness, not coolness.

      • Joanna Goddard says...

        i love that!!!!!! what a kid!!!! :)

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        Dying, Sophia!!! This is the cutest. And taking notes.

      • annie says...

        Love this: “Friendship starts with friendliness, not coolness.”

        Yes!!

      • shannon says...

        This discernment: “if she’s enjoyed playing…” Wow! 😍

    34. Audrey Johnson says...

      Sounds like fun. Wish I lived near other people.

    35. Amanda G says...

      Feeling very out of the loop on the Timothee Chalamet obsession – he is just not my thing – and way so young, yikes! Armie Hammer, on the other hand… #allthehearteyes

      • DIANA says...

        He has so much gravitas for a 22 year old, I can’t help it!

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        Hahaha. Would also join an Armie Hammer club, Amanda.

        And LOL, Diana, he really, really does. <3

    36. For the past four years, my friends and I have held a monthly “Show and Tell” club. We bookmark all those things throughout the week—podcast episodes, articles, your coworker’s amazing lunch recipe, a documentary we really want to see—that you want to share with someone but are bound to forget about as you carry on with your work day. Then, we share them all. It’s great because in one club meeting we can watch Beyonce’s Coachella performance, do a book swap, taste a fancy, spicy honey on a cheese plate, and hear a member’s impassioned stance on something we’ve all just skimmed in the news.

      • Joanna Goddard says...

        i love that, megan!!!

      • Julie says...

        This is BRILLIANT! Thanks for sharing the idea, as I may now have to filch it.

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        Wow, Megan. Love!!!!! Can’t wait to try this out.

    37. Hannah says...

      When my parents first moved to my hometown, they were newly married and didn’t know anyone except my dad’s parents, who lived on a farm about an hour away. Despite neither of them being even remotely good cooks, they fell in with a “gourmet club” which was especially off-the-wall in 70’s rural Missouri, where it would take weeks to pore over library books, source rare ingredients or think of suitable substitutes. The other loons who joined wound up being my parents’ closest friends, to this day! (At some point, they dropped the gourmet club pretext and just started having each other ’round for dinner.)

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        So, so cute, Hannah. Love this.

    38. Michelle R says...

      I moved to California a few years back and work in the Energy sector, which has high turnover between cities and found that the few friends I did make ended up moving to other cities within a year. Such a bummer! But recently one of my transplant friends (lol) and I started a Bunco club once a month. We take turns hosting and have themes. Earlier this month it was my turn to host so it was Cinco de Mayo themed (let’s be honest, just a reason to have good food and margaritas) and it has turned out to be so fun! We had done a book club in the past but it was hard to find time to read the book every month. This way, there’s nothing to prepare for – it’s an hour of chatting/eating/drinking then an hour of playing Bunco (which none of us had played before). So fun! If anyone lives in Bakersfield, CA you welcome to join :)

      • Laura says...

        Glad you’re finding friends in my hometown. :-)

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        You sound so awesome, Michelle!!!

    39. Adrienne says...

      I just joined something similar to this! We do a cocktail club though. Every other week, we meet up in the park, each of us bringing an ingredient to make a fancy cocktail (alcohol, mixers, garnish, and snacks). So far we’ve done maple soda with whiskey and lavender syrup with gin. It started as an idea to combat/celebrate getting through the neverending winter, and while it’s been lovely to have long boozy afternoons in the park with wonderful people, the best part is that we’ve become motivated to spend time together outside of the cocktail club. We’ll carpool on target runs, have random Sunday night movie nights, and last week we went on a walk around town to map out all of the blooming lilac bushes. I’ll probably head back to some of those spots to gather buds to make a lilac infused honey for our next official meeting.

      • Amanda G says...

        Oh this just sounds so lovely! Also, lilac syrup sounds delicious :)

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        Love hearing this, Adrienne! Thank you for sharing.

    40. Lily says...

      Yes! The Champaign Urbana cookbook club #cucookbookclub has been going strong for over three years! Met some wonderful women through it and taught myself some cool new cooking skills too – I’ve been missing it so much since we moved to Atlanta last year but this reminded me I can always start a new chapter <3

    41. This is such a great idea! I’m moving to a new city in a few months and with my telecommuting job, am seriously worried about making zero new friends…this is a much better option than my original idea of joining a bowling league…which is actually not a terrible idea.

      • Amanda G says...

        Good luck on your move – they can be so darn stressful for so many reasons!

        A tip that worked for me when I found myself moving back to Denver after being away for six years and realizing all my friends had moved away – sign up for a few different volunteer opportunities! I started out with organizations that represented different interests in my life, did each a few times, and then decided what worked best for my 8-5 schedule :) Now I regularly volunteer to help build trails in both the city and in the mountains, hold a position on a museum’s young professionals committee, and fill in the gaps when I can with other orgs. While I haven’t made any life-long friends yet through these avenues, I have learned to step out of my (introverted) comfort zone, be more social, and I’ve met a lot of new and very cool people!

    42. Marci says...

      I never comment, but I have to comment twice on this post! My circle of friends used to look pretty much like me – same age, same marital status, same race and political views. After college, I connected with more unlikely people, like the 80-year-old man who volunteered at my work. Even though he was older than my father and much more conservative, we clicked. We hung out and talked sports, compared kid notes (his grandchildren were about my kids’ ages) and civilly discussed our differing view points on the news. He came to my dad’s funeral, chatted baseball with my son and cheered on my kids’ accomplishments like they were his own grandchildren. We were friends for 13 years until his recent death. He was a true gentleman and friend.

      • freya says...

        that’s so wonderful. so sorry for the loss of your friend.

      • Kathleen Copeland says...

        Oh, Marci, this kind of friendship is so special, isn’t it?! I am a shy neighbor, but nothing compared to my sweet friend, Judy. She had watched out her window as my husband and I took evening strolls to relieve my pregnancy aches and pains. She watched as he loaded me into the car to head to the hospital. She watched us arrive home with our first precious bundle. I’ll be forever grateful that she got up the courage to ring my doorbell. She passed away just before my baby’s 5th birthday. It was an honor knowing her; we all miss her terribly. I pray that I can bless others the way Judy blessed me.

      • Joanna Goddard says...

        that is beautiful, marci. i’m so sorry for your loss. what a special friendship.

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        What a beautiful friendship, Marci. I am so, so sorry for your loss.

    43. Marci says...

      I have made great friends because of my kids. Eight years ago, the moms of my sons’ friends (and friends of friends) started meeting for book club — or “book club” the husbands now like to say with exaggerated air quotes. Most of us knew each other only in passing, as we dropped our kids off at each other’s houses, and we seemed to have little common ground beyond our kids. Some became moms as teens, while others didn’t have kids until their later 30s. Some grew up in other countries, while others graduated from the same high school our kids would attend. One woman had a gay partner, some had blended families, and others were long married. Political opinions were across the board.

      In the beginning, we read books faithfully and had deep discussions where we learned about stuff you don’t talk about when you’re sitting in the bleachers watching a Little League game: immigration stories of new families, parents’ deaths and other losses, parenting challenges, and more. Eventually, we didn’t need books to spark conversation. We’ve become so much more than a book club; my son dubbed us “Mom Squad.” Moms and sons (and a daughter) took a weekend road trip, we’ve gone on walks and bike trips, hung out at community gatherings, and exchange frequent texts with messages of support and advice. And yes, despite those air quotes, we still read.

      I feel so connected to my community because of these women. I love their kids and can easily fold them into our family, and they do the same for mine. Through books, we created the village that raised our children.

      • Lena says...

        This is so lovely! I’m a mom of one preschooler (and a young toddler) and have been wondering how to connect with other moms that I see during preschool drop off and pick up. It feels a bit like dating….gathering the courage to make a date, and wondering how it will work out. : )

      • Joanna Goddard says...

        lena, i hear you! one thing that has worked for me is asking if the kids want to have a playdate. then you all get together at the park or someone’s house and chat. after that, it’s easier (at least for me) to suggest going on a walk or movie or dinner, just moms :)

      • Sarah Rendo says...

        This was so lovely to read. Thank you.

      • Regina says...

        I love your comment, Marci! I have two young sons (2 and 4), and I can’t wait to be part of a Mom Squad.

      • Gen says...

        That is great – thanks for the encouragement! I need to keep being more purposeful about making friends via my kids, especially since I live so far away from my large family.

        I was always super hands off during my kids’ preschool years (my husband managed it) but now that we’re in elementary, I realize we’ve got years together so I’m trying to tap into the families of classroom buddies. Recently we held the usual “invite a handful of girls to your birthday” party for my daughter, and then I hosted an open house type party with family friends immediately after, and invited the parents of all the girls to come – it was a great way to talk to mamas and papas that otherwise I’d not have met or had a conversation with, since drop-off and pick-up are a bit frantic at our big school.

    44. This is a lovely idea! I would even do it with friends you already have, but maybe don’t see as often? Little ‘themed’ get-togethers can be so nice, and this would be a great spin on a pot-luck.
      Also, God bless CoJ for continuing to indulge our love for Timothée Chalamet!

      • Joanna Goddard says...

        yes, great point!

        and hahahahahaha ;)

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        Yes, awesome point, Stephanie. Thank you!!!

    45. Jordan says...

      If anyone is in Columbia, SC and would like to do this with me, let me know!

    46. Alice says...

      L-O-V-E this idea!!! Anyone in London want to start one with me?! Not sure my flat (housemates, strange living room) would work hugely well for hosting but I’d love to help set one up/ organise/ obviously cook, etc!!!

      • Georgina says...

        I’d totally be interested Alice! My flat is pretty small but no housemates (apart from my husband, but he can do the cooking then bugger off out, ha). Whereabouts are you based?

      • Margie says...

        Alice! I’m in London thinking the exact same thing … there have been some great ideas in the comments section. How do we go about connecting on this?

      • Alice says...

        Georgina and Margie- YAY!! This makes me very happy. Do you have instagram? If so, I’m @_alialialice, maybe we could connect on there? If not, let me know, and I’ll share an email address!

      • Alice says...

        Margie and Georgina- YAY!!! Oh this makes me really happy. Definitely keen for this- do you both have instagram? If so, maybe we should connect there- I’m @_alialialice – but if you don’t, let me know, and I’ll share an email address, but I would definitely love to set this up! I’m in SW London, but could happily travel around wherever :)

      • Ellie says...

        Halloo Alice- ohmigosh, I love this idea! I’m North(ish) London based and have hosting capabilities.

      • Alice says...

        Whoops, clearly got so excited earlier that I didn’t notice my comment posting, so I posted twice. Ha! Ellie, yes, join us!!! See above for insta details, or let me know otherwise! X

    47. Rochelle says...

      Having moved to Boston, LA, Netherlands and Munich all in the last 10 years I know how hard it is to make new friends. It’s especially hard being in a new town in a foreign country without girlfriends. Since having kids I do find it a lot easier to meet other moms, I’ve met up for playdates using the Meetup app, joined expat facebook groups and met good friends just from my hypnobirthing class. It takes time but forcing my introvert self to go to events has been worth it.

      • Anna says...

        Hi Rochelle, I am in Munich, too, also after a transatlantic move recently! If you want to meet up for a coffee- email me.
        cheers, Anna

      • Bettina says...

        I’m in Munich too! And in a book club that’s still looking for one or two new members. Let me know if you’re interested!

    48. Victoria says...

      Timothée Chalamet Fan Club??? hahahahaha
      I wanna be in NY to be a part of that club….a pitty I´m in Madrid.
      Great post, by the way!

    49. Sara says...

      Becoming a mother has been the easiest way to make new good friends. I’m Italian and live in Cairo where a big foreign community lives. I realized, after giving birth to my boy, that other mothers were naturally coming to me and started a conversation, and actually i was doing the same. As foreigners lacking a whole network of relatives or old friends but also rethinking on/ looking for common cultural values, motherhood became a way to fill the gap, open and discuss meaningful subjects and to recreate strong genuine friendships. Also, in a city where my children don’t have their cousins/grandparents/relatives, i aim to create a network of people they hopefully will always perceive as family

    50. cookbook club with parks and rec in between?? im dying to signing up oh i wish i could!

    51. I need this! I just moved to DC and would love to be a part of a cookbook club. Making good, lasting friends is a long process… but I’m so impatient, haha.

    52. Molly says...

      I’m alllll about this. Being in monthly friend commitments is not only how I made my friends when I moved to San Diego, but how I actually still see them. I find it SO hard to plan one-off happy hours or coffee dates so I’m convinced clubs / commitments are the way to do adult friendships. I have a daily bootcamp buddy, a walking buddy, two monthly book clubs and a monthly Wednesday wine night night with my neighbors. It does sound like a lot but that’s pretty much it for plans except for the occasional birthday! Having these built into my life takes the guesswork out of scheduling and instead provides stability and tradition.

      I love this post, Stella! If I weren’t in so many dang clubs already I’d start a cookbook club ;) So fun!

    53. C B says...

      All I’m hearing is there needs to be some cup of jo meet ups in some major cities. Just sayin.

      • Joanna Goddard says...

        yes!!!! we have been brainstorming this :)

      • Julie says...

        Yes! That would be amazing.

      • Yes, please! If you need someone to start a Houston-chapter, I am all in!!!

      • Kate says...

        Yes! I was thinking the same thing! I want to meet all of my fellow COJ readers who leave wonderful comments IRL.

      • Kirsten says...

        My heart would be SO SO full if I got the chance to meet other readers or the CoJ team. Obviously meeting the team is #goals, but honestly this reader community is so awesome. I’d love to meet any of you ladies!!

      • Julie Smith says...

        Oooh yes, including Pittsburgh! :D

      • Yes! One in Denver! :)

    54. Marie Lamensch says...

      It’s particularly tough as an adult when you don’t have children and you work a lot. I started making friends with my work colleagues, going for coffee after work. Some developped into friendships or I got to meet people through them. I met some people at the gym too and it’s easy to grab something to eat or drink with them once you are done. I noticed that having a dog helps too. You just end up talking with other dog owners at the park

      • Laura says...

        This. With three young kids and intense jobs, my husband and I have so little free time. And when we do, we would rather spend it with each other or alone (we’re both introverts so love to read quietly, etc.), or as a family. We wish we had more friends but like all relationships you have to put time into them…
        Unrelated: the woman on the right in that photos looks a lot like Alison Roman, if you swap out the 50s hairdo. Anyone else see it?

    55. Here in Hartford, CT we have a whisk(e)y club! First Wednesday of the month, going strong for 5+ years! The 2nd best part, after the spirit of course, is getting to check out people’s apartments!

    56. Megan says...

      In addition to her long-standing book club, my mom has more recently joined a poetry club. It sounds like a total blast! It’s less reading beforehand, but they still discuss, eat, drink, and chat for hours.

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        This sounds amazing, Megan!!!

    57. Amanda says...

      My friends and I did semi-regular Baking Parties for a few years. We would choose 2-3 baked goods to make, usually something low-stress like cookies or cupcakes. Everyone pitched in on ingredients, snacks, and wine – so much wine. You could usually tell which cookies were made after the first bottle or two of wine, because sometimes they’d be a wee bit burned. But we always had a great time, and baking gave us something to do so it felt like less pressure than a regular okd house party. Plus you got to bring home whatever we made (if it wasn’t burned).

    58. Rachel says...

      Love this! Are there any CoJ readers in Nola?

    59. Amy says...

      Over Easy is a great cookbook! I always take cookbooks out of the library to preview them, and Over Easy is one of the very few I’ve purchased later for my own shelves. But then again, who doesn’t like breakfast food? ;) I’d be down with this.

    60. Devon says...

      One of my friends started a feminist, millennial women book club with different women from her life (high school, college, old jobs) and it’s just been so fun to socialite with different people. We read only female authors and have such empowering chats about life, books, and everything in between. I’m all for doing this cookbook/dinner club!

    61. Shalini says...

      I have wanted to start a cookbook club for at least 20 years. Isn’t that ridiculous? Some of my friends and me are in a book club where everybody brings something, and we discuss a book of someone’s choosing. I always feel like my flat is too cramped and too messy (which really, it is) to host an event like this. But one day I want to start inviting people for dinner again, and also make a cookbook club! In the meantime, I’m part of two virtual ones on Facebook through Food 52!

    62. Diana says...

      I know people have said this a zillion times, but COJ meetups need to be a thing. I feel like these women are all my people and I’ve never met them! We can drink rose, talk about relationships and our kids, maybe someone can confess that they don’t actually like half the stuff Everlane puts out, everyone would show up in All Birds….

      • Court says...

        YES! Everlane is missing it lately. WHY?! Half of my wardrobe is vintage Everlane but I haven’t bought anything (except their classic denim) in a year. What’s up?

      • Stella Blackmon says...

        Really laughing at this comment, Diana. <3 <3 <3

      • Regina says...

        Diana! Thank you for the honestly about Everlane. I went out of my way while visiting NY to go to the Everlane showroom and try on the much talked about Everlane loafers. They were unimpressive and I thought there was maybe something wrong with me!

    63. Scout says...

      I agree with one of the previous commenters… these groups all start by knowing someone to begin with! To have your club members bring new people, you need to have club members, and that requires already knowing people. How do you get the first members?

    64. I love Cookbook Clubs! My friends and I started one about two years ago and it’s still going strong. Having standardized club type activities is a great way to keep friendships going and meet new ones.

    65. I am in a wine club that is at least two years old. We do it with couples, but it could be done a ton of ways and it has been awesome to build friendships and memories with those people. We do it every other month and whoever brings the wine that gets scored the lowest (yes, we’ve made our own score cards) has to host the next gathering, provide the entre, and select the wine. Everyone else brings sides and apps so no one has the major hassle of all the work that can keep you from wanting to have friends over. Of course, we usually see each other more often than that, but this way we really look forward to it, or at least I do. :)

      I love these ideas! It is very hard to be an adult with so many life obligations to prioritize making new friends. But as someone who has transplanted to a new community for work, with lifelong best friends 12 hours away, it’s been really important for me to keep that in the back of my mind. I have learned to just make myself say “yes” to invitations, even if I think it’ll be awkward. And on the flip side, I make myself reach out to someone once a month to do something, whether it’s a mani or a walk or after work happy hour. Awkward or not, at the very least it’ll probably lead to a good laugh.

    66. Jess says...

      A friend of a friend started a Wine Club when we were all in our early to mid 20s. Like this, everyone brought a friend, shared wine and wine pairing dishes and swapped hosting duties in our various random LA apartments. We were truly all looking for a good group of girlfriends, as it’s an odd time in life having left your close college friends while trying to find your career path. Now 10 years later, the core group remains and I can safely say these girls are some of my closest friends, having shared so much together over the years.
      I can’t stress enough how you should create a ‘club’ and see where it goes!

    67. Megan Quintin says...

      I’ve always dreamed of a gathering for singles where you are required, as the price of entry, to bring one single person of the opposite sex. If you invite ten eligibles, they bring ten eligibles and now everyone at the party is single and the ratio should be perfect. I live in a city that seems to have far more single females than males, so any sort of gathering tends to be ridiculously unbalanced and no one ever makes a (love)match. I would love to test out my idea or see if someone else has had success!

      • Agnes says...

        YES, my old church in London did this!! They called it ‘Date My Mate’ (Mate meaning ‘friend’ in the UK, haha). So you bring someone of the opposite sex that you don’t want to date but someone else might. Food, music, games etc. on offer, and you all just hang out and hopefully meet someone cute ;) There are also ‘date my friend’ websites..

    68. Joy says...

      I love all these great ideas! Once we hosted a casual dinner party where everyone signed up to bring a food from The Hobbit. It was so much fun! The what-to-do-with-the-kids question is always a struggle when trying to get together with other adults.

    69. I think making friends in any size city can be a challenge. I absolutely love this idea though!

    70. Tristen says...

      I feel very un-cool saying this, but some of my lady-friends and I accidentally started a Costco club. Basically, time is zero-sum, and we could either hang out or run errands/feed the kids. Costco is amazing, but we live in SF, and getting there and schlepping your mountain of Costco goods is a whole hot mess, and most people aren’t members. So, we go together and share a membership! We sneak out of work, make sure someone has a car, and take requests from other friends who can’t join. It has turned out to be super fun, and the 30 minutes we spend in line fly by when we are laughing together. Plus, what we save on cheese alone has more than covered the cost of membership. True story.

      • michaela says...

        I LOVE THIS IDEA. Thank you for sharing!

      • Jess says...

        That’s amazing and makes so much sense!

      • Tasha says...

        30 minutes in line?!?!? WHY!!

      • Lynn says...

        Umm, I love this! Seriously, what a great idea. Plus there are always things to laugh about in Costco.

      • Sasha says...

        I love this idea! You are brilliant.

      • Anna says...

        I think this is super cool! A smart way to multitask, and personally, I think Costco can be really fun haha So much nonsense in there for so cheap!

      • Alex says...

        It is my dream to have friend-dates like this, keep up the good work!

      • Andrea says...

        This made me smile. I love it so much!

      • Claire says...

        this is a great idea! teaming up w/ friends to make routine tasks and errands fun and supportive is a win in my book. And I’m with you on the cheese (and gas prices are good too).

    71. Lily says...

      This is my dream!

    72. Anne says...

      I do this exact thing with a group of amazing women in Austin. We’ve been meeting monthly for almost 2 years at this point. It’s seriously the best! You can follow us on Instagram @atxcookbookclub

      • rg says...

        Um can I join? The Claudia’s Cocina pictures look amazing.

    73. Katie says...

      I love this! Making new friends is hard and this seems like such a chill idea!!

    74. I had a really hard time meeting people when I left my FT job to start a business. I was pretty fresh out of college, too, and my friends had all moved out of our college town for jobs. I started hosting craft workshops monthly for local women and it was such a hit, it became it’s own business! We’re working on bringing Creative Tribe to new cities now as a way for women to build community in a comfortable, fun environment :) Your hands are busy, there’s food and drink, and you get to learn something new, so it’s super low pressure. We get tons of people that come alone and walk out with new connections!

      • Kalli says...

        That sounds awesome, bring it to Los Angeles, please! It’s a huge town that attracts heaps of talented people, yet so many people are from other places and arrive without a support network, unsure of how to build one.

      • Kalli,
        LA is at the top of my list! I was surprised by how many requests I was getting for it (and NYC), because I just assume there’s already so much going on. But you’re so right, there are so many people that there are still gaps to be filled :) We’ll be announcing new cities over the coming months on IG!
        Theresa

    75. Katie says...

      I started a Culture Club and it’s been great. We do everything from go to a new restaurant or bar, to read a thought provoking book, to checking out the monthly story telling series the MOTH. Basically anything I find intersting and want to do I just invite the group to join. It covers all the friendship bases too – I get to hang out with people I’m already close with, get to know people I’d like to know better, and provides an activity and group cushion to invite “that girl from the park that could be great, but I’m not ready to commmite to a one on one friend date with yet.” And it’s just fun and pushes everyone outside their comfort zone without the pressure of committing to something every single week week or month.

      • Joanna says...

        This is so me. Love it.

    76. I co-sign the Timothée Chalamet Fan Club. I had a Cookbook Club as a way to see the friends I didn’t see anymore and we did it once a month. It was not successful! Everyone kept flaking so every other month sounds more realistic. I would love to hear more about the logistics on how to sustain it and how to actually meet new people (bringing a new friend is a good idea). Also, what about space? Does everyone pre-make everything to bring?

      • Same, except with a book club. It worked out the first 6 months, then everyone flaked out. I think the key is just trying it out with different people and keep the non-flaky ones!

    77. Kelsey says...

      This is fantastic! Anyone in Brooklyn (fort green, Clinton hill, bed study area) interested in starting one?! I’m happy to organize!

      • i’m in park slope, but i’d be into the idea!

      • Zoe says...

        I’m in! Though we’d have to cap membership since my apartment is so teensy :)

      • Chloe says...

        Hi Kelsey! My friend Jillian (also a huge CoJ reader) and I are both in BK. We’re in :)

        Anyone else?

      • Julie says...

        I’m in Brooklyn, too. I’d come for sure!

      • Kelsey Bailey says...

        Hi everyone-excited that there’s so much interest! Everyone who’s interested can drop me a line at kmbailey0124@gmail.com. I can get everyone on an email thread to figure out logistics!

    78. Jessica says...

      I had a similar club. We lived in a city with lots of available ethnic restaurants and we’d try a new cuisine. We tried to order the adventurous things on the menu. We called ourselves the gastronauts.

    79. Annie says...

      I love this idea! We are moving from Michigan to Alpharetta, GA in a few weeks and I would love to do something like this. Does anyone in Alpharetta want a new friend? ha…we don’t know a soul there!

      • Rachel says...

        Hi Annie! I live about 20/30 minutes from Alpharetta in Decatur. Alpharetta is a really cute town with a great little downtown area. They do food truck Tuesdays and have concerts and such- I bet you’ll love it!

      • Holly says...

        Hi, Annie! I live in Sandy Springs but work in Alpharetta. Welcome to town (soon)! Now you can say you *kind of* know a soul there! Good luck with your move. Once you get your cookbooks unpacked, maybe we can make dinner.

    80. I love this! It’s so hard to make friends as an adult. This season of life as the mother of a 2-year-old has been all about mom friends. When I moved to Highland Park in Los Angeles when my baby was 6 months old, I desperately Googled “Highland Park moms” and found my way to the Northeast LA chapter of the national Moms Club organization. And, luckily, it was a super active chapter, with a play group dedicated to my daughter’s age! I showed up at a stranger’s doorstep for our first play group and the real miracle is that it turned out to be an amazing group of vibrant, smart, creative, non-judgmental women trying to figure out motherhood just like me. We celebrated Mother’s Day last Saturday with a fancy tea at the Langham in Pasadena (sans toddlers, of course!) and it was such a fun time reflecting on how far we’ve come. :)

      • Helga Thomsen says...

        Welcome to NELA! I raised two kids in Eagle Rock and wish I had known that there was a Northeast LA chapter of the national Moms club. Sounds like a blast.

    81. This post is so timely for me, Stella! My boyfriend and I are moving to NYC next month (!), to Manhattan for him to begin his medical residency and we’ll be living in resident/hospital housing. My two best friends already live in New York, so I know I’ll have people to turn to while he works crazy hours, especially in his first year, but I’d love to make new friends and find a friend (maybe another doctor’s partner from the building) to walk dogs with! We are coming from Atlanta, and my pup is coming from a house with a fenced yard, so this whole going-out-with-him-every-time-he-goes-out will be new to me and it would be so nice to have a friend to do that with.

      Also going to think about some fun clubs to start! Thanks for this post :)

      • Hi, Naseem. Congratulations on your boyfriend’s match! My husband is completing his medicine internship in Philly this year. The hours are crazy – and so is the lifestyle!

        I’ve found that taking our dog out in the city is a great way to make new acquaintances and friends of friendly fellow dog owners, as well as to stay active. Bonus if your pups get along well and would enjoy play dates. Figuring out which partners of interns you click with is also awesome, especially if they are not in medicine because you become allies to exchange glances with when a group of interns starts on the jargon-y details of their patient orders, differential diagnoses, consults, etc.

        Good luck with your move and enjoy New York. I highly recommend planning vacations as soon as he gets his schedule, if you haven’t already. It’s easier to get through the long call days and overnight services when you can look forward to getting away together :)

    82. Carrie says...

      I wish I didn’t have social anxiety and something like this actually sounded fun to me. Like one part of me thinks it sounds fun, but the other part knows it would be kinda miserable.

      • brianna says...

        Carrie, I’m with you. I love the idea of starting up something like this, but it’s all I can do to be an extrovert at work. Anything beyond that feels like too much.

      • stephanie says...

        I agree– I can’t imagine starting one of these unless I was already friends with the people. But I’ve noticed that some people are better ringleaders than others. They usually start with say 3-4 people and then it’s easier to add on people they barely know. But yea if you’re more shy or don’t know anyone (because, for instance, you work and all the other moms don’t), it’s not so easy.

    83. That’s such a great idea! In high school, my friends and I would have “cook offs.” We’d have a theme a theme for the evening, like Indian Food, and then pair off to compete. There would be a few people who weren’t cooking that would serve as judges. I have a lot of fond memories of that! This seems to be in a similar vein, though more collaborative than competitive. I like that.

    84. Alice says...

      A few friends from work and I recently started a foreign film club. We take turns picking a foreign film and it has been so much fun! I love learning the people’s film preferences and seeing films I would not have heard of otherwise.

    85. Erin G. says...

      I have five friends who are all mothers of children around the same age as mine (I call them my mom-friends but over the years they’ve become my best friends) and we have a monthly dinner club. It rotates houses so you host twice year. The host picks an ethnic cuisine (e.g. Mexican or Indian) and then sends out a message and the various components are first come first serve. So you might reply “dessert” or “protein” or “grain” and we build the meal that way. It is fun to see what everyone shows up with and how well it goes together. Some combinations are amazing, creative, surprising, weird…and that’s half the fun.

    86. Kirsty Magallon says...

      This is great…except where do you meet the people to invite to your cookbook club?! I’m totally okay with activities to do with people, but I really struggle just finding people to start off with – meetup/social media isn’t active where I live, and I think unless you have kids or a super active workplace, that’s the thing people struggle with most!

      • erlie says...

        Put up a flyer – most health food stores have a bulletin board, (even whole foods does), and I know many yoga studios have them too. Maybe your work has one in the coffee room/kitchen, etc.

      • Brit says...

        I agree! Moved to philly 3 years ago and only made 1 friend who wanted to sell MLM to me then never spoke to me again. *facepalm*

      • Tasha says...

        Brit – how is that a friend then? That was just a salesperson you interacted with.

      • shannon says...

        Brit, as a Philly transplant (jan.2017) I feel you! It seems like most people I meet were born and raised here and have tons of family and long term friends here already. I’ve made a couple new connections but it is taking longer to build a community than I thought.

      • Sarah says...

        Look on Facebook for interesting groups in your area. My neighborhood has a Buy Nothing Group, a Mom’s Group, a Hiking Group etc, all on Facebook. Especially notice if someone overlaps in a few of the groups you are interested in – this is a new friend. 😊

      • Simone says...

        Kristy, I have the same issue. I moved a year ago and since that time have been working from home, so I don’t even have local coworkers. It’s been difficult.

        Brit, I’ve had that same thing happen to me with MLM folks online and in person. So disappointing, to say the least. MLM is the worst. People are literally encouraged to take advantage of their existing friends’ goodwill, and also pretend to like strangers to get them to sign up. All the while throwing around pseudo-supportive buzzwords like ladyboss, tribe, etc. Horrible.

      • Erin says...

        One great way to meet new people with similar interests is to sign up for a class! Take a drawing or pottery or cooking class at the community center or local arts college. Then hopefully you’ll get to know some new peeps you can start your club with!

      • J says...

        I agree completely! The article should be titled “how to make more friends” rather than “How to make friends”

      • Iz says...

        I agree. It’s not finding activities, it’s finding people that’s hard. I have been doing 2 regular group activities for the past couple of years but have yet to socialize with anyone from either of them. It’s not that the people there are unfriendly, but they seem to be there for the activity, not to make new friends.

      • stephanie says...

        One problem I’ve had is I tend to like stuff that’s pretty basic. Book club I can do, but beyond that I kind of just want to go to the movies or have a drink. I don’t really want to cook an elaborate dinner for a dozen people, or take a different hike every month, etc. So the best luck I’ve had is going walking with other moms who I started off barely knowing. Most people in my area like to walk for exercise, and it sort of filters out the real hard core crossfit/triathlete types. And then we get to chat quite a bit so it’s turned into real friendships.

    87. Julie says...

      I rejoined Facebook recently to join groups associated with Forever 35, Natch Beaut, and one for a pocket notebook company I subscribe to. It’s online friends, but it’s pretty freaking fun to connect with people who have similar hobbies and interests!

      • Hannah says...

        Fellow forever 35 fan! COJ…could you maybe contact Kate and Doree for a beauty uniform or week of outfits or something? They’re so in line with the COJ vibe. Just an idea! X

    88. Kristina says...

      This is the coolest idea! I’ve been in book clubs in the past but fell out of them when I had my kids. This is a good reminder that I can make up my own club now! And I have a bunch of cookbooks that I’d love to share with others. Some favorites are Smitten Kitchen Every Day by Deb Perelman (the chicken marsala meatballs are a slam dunk); Dinner by Melissa Clark; and pretty much anything by Ina Garten : )

    89. Heidi says...

      I need this! I just moved to DC and would love to be a part of a cookbook club. Making good, lasting friends is a long process… but I’m so impatient, haha.

      • Dana says...

        Welcome! I’m in DC too :)

      • Amy says...

        Heidi-Welcome to DC! I think (hope!) you will find DC to be a friendly and fun place.

    90. Becky says...

      I joined a ladies ball hockey league. I love my teammates (ages range from 20-50) We get an awesome workout one night a week with tons of laughs. The camaraderie between teammates is something that can be hard to find at the Gym.

      • Joanna Goddard says...

        oh my gosh, i love that, becky.

      • Emily says...

        Becky, you just inspired me to sign up to my local hockey group. NEVER PLAYED BEFORE OH MY GOODNESS WHAT AM I DOING.

    91. Ami says...

      I would 100% join your Timothée Chalamet Fan Club!