Design

Have a Wonderful Weekend.

Jeanne Damas

What are you up to this weekend? Now that it’s finally warm, we’re hoping to get our bikes out! Can’t wait to feel the wind in our hair. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…

A beautiful comic by Roz Chast about finding a place for her parents’ remains. (NYorker)

The world’s largest ice carousel.

I was never great at blowdrying my hair, but these changed everything.

Nine teary moments from real weddings.

Made me laugh.

Who else wants to see this movie???

Behind the scenes of the royal wedding. (What a fun interactive NYT story!)

A recipe tester’s favorite $10 meals.

Eight very important pencils.

The stylists’ tip that changed the way I dressed.”

Why teenagers become allergic to their parents. (NYT)

Plus, three great reader comments on a small kindness I’ll never forget:

Says Megan: “As the poet Naomi Shihab Nye wrote in her wonderful poem ‘Famous‘:
‘I want to be famous to shuffling men
who smile while crossing streets,
sticky children in grocery lines,
famous as the one who smiled back.
I want to be famous in the way a pulley is famous,
or a buttonhole, not because it did anything spectacular,
but because it never forgot what it could do.'”

Says Erin: “I was flying alone with my two-year-old, who screamed and wailed the entire flight. As we exited the plane, a woman came up, hugged me and said, ‘You are doing a great job,’ despite what must have been such an annoyance for every passenger on that plane. I was so flustered, and that kind comment is one I will never forget.

Says Sarah: “#COJdeskcry is real.”

(Photo by Jeanne Damas. Epilogue via Kottke. Dog video via Swissmiss.)

  1. lll says...

    Joanna, you always have such great date ideas planned with Alex in NYC. As a new mom in Brooklyn who feels really out of touch with the dining/cocktail scene due to the newborn haze, would love recs on date night ideas for NYC. Restaurants to try? Favorite new cocktail/wine bars? Activities you are looking forward to doing together this spring?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that’s a great idea! i’d love to do a post on this. (and congratulations on your baby news!) here are a few fun things:
      * i’ve heard great things about fausto, the new italian restaurant in the old franny’s spot on flatbush.
      * our date-night go-tos are la vara (especially when it’s warm enough to sit in their little garden), elsa for drinks (such great cocktails! i love the aperol spritz), and buttermilk channel (such a cozy neighborhood spot).
      * i also looooooove taking sails on the hudson. this was our first date evening after both toby and anton were born, and it feels so restorative and refreshing to feel the wind on your face as you sail along the NYC skyline: https://www.sail-nyc.com/browse-by-boat/schooner-adirondack/

      hope this helps for now! would love to do a longer post xoxo joanna

    • LLL says...

      Thanks! Looking forward to trying these and the post!

  2. Billye says...

    I loved the Kindness essay. I’m a nurse, and I am part of the leadership team in the ER where I work. Every Tuesday we have a leadership meeting, and one of us is supposed to start with a reflection. Tomorrow is my turn so I will be reading it to the group. I’m also planning it send it to all of the staff in my department.

  3. Kate Abernethy says...

    I just have to say, I am so grateful for this blog’s mutual obsession with Timothee Chalamet. I haven’t been able to shake his genius performance in Call Me By Your Name, and my friends just don’t get it. I’m a 32-year-old woman in a loving, stable relationship, who just happens to have a crush on a 22-year-old actor who looks more like a pre-pubescent than an adult male. What’s weird about that?? (Me internally: Probably a lot. Maybe you should unpack this in therapy. Friends and co-workers starting to eye roll when you bring up his name.)

    Sometimes, I struggle to explain this crush/obsession/desire to swallow him whole, but then I come here and you guys seem to totally get it. So, thank you for making me feel less alone, and please keep the Chalamet posts coming. I am here for them.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahahahahahahaha kate, we love you. and we’ve got you :) :) :)

  4. I watched all of Call Me By Your Name , googled Timothee Chalamet afterward only to realize that he was Finn in Homeland! I know you’re a Homeland fan… did you know he was Finn?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg yes! just realized that the other day. so crazy!

  5. Maria Assis says...

    About the Erin comment, that passenger might be a One Bad Mother listener. It is a great (and funny) podcast about parenthood. ‘You are doing a great job’ is their motto and they encourage parents to say it to signal they are listeners. ;)

    • Rainbow says...

      LOVE OBM!

  6. Had a great weekend! Went and saw “A Quiet Place”…A great movie that has a great message as well. Looking forward to getting out the fly rod here this week too now that the weather here in Utah is warming up!

  7. Linda says...

    The dog video is so cute! I love animals and how they lift our spirits!

    That “high/low” idea is really interesting. I’ll have to look at my wardrobe to see what I could get away with!

    Definitely don’t want to “vote” with my movie dollars on a movie that glorifies drug dealing to minors and driving while stoned.

  8. Tovah says...

    I don’t get the high-low fashion thing right very often, but one time I think I nailed it was when, the week before my wedding, I realized it would be chilly by the end of the night… rather than buying yet another fancy thing, I just grabbed the denim jacket I found at Goodwill to have on hand. One of my favorite photos of the entire night is me twirling in my wedding dress, jean jacket, and sneakers!

  9. Natasha says...

    Talking of small kindnesses, I made a new resolution recently. I’d been having a hard time enduring my ex-husband’s emotionally abusive, hateful words and behaviour towards me. Since we have children together I don’t have the option of removing him from my life. So instead, I decided that every time he says or does something toxic towards me, I will respond by doing something kind or loving towards someone else. It doesn’t have to be a big thing – it could just be a Whatsapp message, a compliment, or a small gift to let someone I love know that I’m thinking of them. This small action really helps me to feel in control, rather than feeling trapped by my situation, and reminds me that, even if others choose to give out toxicity and hate, I can choose to be a force for good in the world.

    • K says...

      What an emotionally evolved way to handle it – and you’re setting a great example for your kids!

    • Laura says...

      I love this so much, Natasha! Thank you for sharing!

  10. Becky says...

    Dog videos are my daily medicine, well really any animal videos. I’m a sucker for the videos of owners and pets reuniting after a separation.

  11. Erica says...

    Yes the reader comments and the original article on stranger’s kindness is wonderful. I’m a PhD student and was at an interdisciplinary worksphop for PhD students recently, where my discipline was by far in the minority. All the presentations were math heavy and intense. I really wanted to participate and forced myself to keep asking questions throughout the conference to understand better and contribute. On three different occasions in the women’s bathroom during breaks women washing their hands next to me said things like “thanks for your questions, they’re helping me understand” or “I appreciate you speaking up, your voice is valuable here.” I was so grateful for these comments. They made me feel more like I belonged and that I wasn’t being ridiculous trying to contribute when I didn’t fully understand all the details. It was such a nice reminder that women do help women in STEM fields, and that the mean girls from the bathroom in middle school grow up into nice mature women (or they don’t go to PhD student STEM conferences)!

    • Sasha says...

      Thank you for sharing that, makes me feel hopeful for the future.

  12. Joss says...

    that royal wedding article on NYT was so entertaining, thank you for pointing it out!

  13. Tee says...

    I am so jealous of your bike riding plans. We are firmly stuck in a MN snowstorm. #sendcheeseandwine

  14. Brit says...

    Can you do a post on how to (realistically) blow dry one’s own hair? I know I will never achieve what my hairstylist does—how does it last for daysss???—but what’s the easiest way to get something that looks better than what I’m doing now?

  15. Sasha says...

    That puppy and aloof dog is so cute!! Our hound (aloof) and heeler mix (playful) do the same. But just when the little guy is about to give up, the hound pounces and starts a crazy game of chase. It’s a riot.

    I like sneakers with just about everything, denim jacket too. But when I see them with a *high* dress, suit, etc, I just assume, lady walking to work in comfortable shoes. I also don’t like *high* and *low*, maybe casual and fancy wouldn’t poke me in quite the same way. And all the other casual/fancy mix-ups just look like some one threw on the top clothes in the pile lol. Which is FINE!

  16. Over here in the UK this long winter has been a real debbie downer. I’m hoping the spring of daffodils are a sign of better weather to come. Bike riding seems super fun, and such a great family activity. Today I’ve been to a table top fair and picked up a few bargains. We are planning to watch the Grand National horse race later today too, wish us luck with our bets! Hope the rest of your weekend is a good one. Thanks for the interesting links! :-) xx

    Helen | Helen’s Fashion, Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

  17. Kate says...

    Winter is starting to roll in here in Southern Australia and I have only just got back into bike riding, with my 1 year old on board. I feel like a missed a whole summer of bike riding because I didn’t have a baby seat. We will rug up and see how we go.

    I’ll be envious seeing posts of you cruising the streets in the sunshine.

  18. Diana says...

    Every breath I’ve taken since seeing Call Me By Your Name has been only to sustain me to see another sexy 80’s movie starring the elegant Timothee Chalamet.

  19. Meghan says...

    I love when the little dog breaks the third wall by looking at the camera ! LOL

  20. jen says...

    High and low dressing? I invented it in 1970.

  21. Katherine says...

    Teary moments from weddings got me good. Made me remember my own wedding two years ago (our anniversary is on the 23rd!) and how I wept during our vows. My husband and I had been engaged for five months when he unexpectedly lost his job at a startup tech company. We struggled to make it on my teacher’s salary, but got married in the thick of it, having a small, intimate wedding in Austin at the former childhood home of my mother in law (it just so happens to be a Zen Center now). When it came time for me to say for better, for worse, richer or poorer, I lost it, because we were living that very thing, right then. It made me feel all the feels and at first I hated those pictures of me crying, but now, I treasure them. This one makes me tear up seeing myself tear up:
    https://drive.google.com/open?id=1l3q4-WnVmai2RwZpCVPQpXWXUaATmr8P

    Thanks for being a space for us all to feel all the feels, Jo. This blog is so special and sacred to me, and I’d be lost without it.

  22. Rachel says...

    Learned in child development, that parents are STILL their child’s #1 influecnce….even as teenagers. Good or bad, I couldn’t agree more….

  23. Ginette says...

    Loved so many of these this week. Thank you, CupofJo staff for always being the highlight with my coffee on a Monday, the antidote to the hump day, and the send off to enjoying a much needed weekend!

  24. Kara says...

    If you want to make a mom cry in public, tell her “you’re doing a great job” when you notice her struggling. It’s happened to me, and I couldn’t stop the tears, I felt so supported by those five simple words!

  25. Brooke says...

    I love that round up of teary wedding moments! I’m getting married in June and while I’m currently v stressed with the planning, I can’t wait for the day to come.

    I’ve noticed that you note if it’s a NYT article but you don’t do that for other sites. Is there a reason? Just wondering :)

    • Lea says...

      I think it’s bc readers who aren’t subscribed to NYT only get a limited number of articles per month, so they can choose whether they want to use that on the link Jo posts.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh yes! some readers asked us to flag sites that have a limited number of articles per month, like the new york times or the new yorker. xoxo

    • Brooke says...

      Ohhh so good to know! Thank you!

  26. Lindsay says...

    Can you recommend a good bike? Will yours work well on hills? I’m getting one but have no idea.

  27. Julie says...

    I adore Timothee Chalamet! And the trailer looks very artful. I worry, though, about why we glorify white kids and weed (what a sexy, cool misadventure!) when charges for marijuana possession/use disproportionately affect people of color (African-Americans are more than 3 times more likely to be arrested). The thought of this movie earning a lot of money makes me strangely sad. (However: I do love people’s comments on the YouTube trailer saying, “Look what Oliver did to Elio!”)

    • I completely agree with you!

  28. Bridget says...

    Why teenagers become allergic to their parents is hilarious and timely. I sent it to my husband and son in a group text. Our 16 year old son awoke this morning with swollen eyes (his who face really) and a stuffed nose. He thought he had allergies (maybe?). We teased him about what he ate last night and if he did any drugs (he was out on a date)- poor kid took it all very well.

  29. Amanda G says...

    Thank you so much for following up the teary wedding moments with a funny dog video, because I was just about to burst into tears! That silly puppy saved the day.

    My own wedding is coming up in a little less three months and I already know I’ll be a weepy mess. Not only because I normally cry at the drop of the hat, but because even though I’ve been estranged from my parents for more than four years, it will be hard for me not having them there (I considered inviting them, but my mother has explicitly stated numerous times over the ten years I’ve been with my fiancee to NOT invite her to the wedding).

    In addition, my little brother went missing in January, and my worried heart has gone through the wringer a hundred times over.

    Thankful today for a supportive partner, his parents (who have always loved me as their own), silly dogs of my own at home, and waterproof mascara.

    • Kate says...

      Try to think of all the wonderful people who do want share your day, rather than focus on the ones the won’t/can’t.

    • Emilie says...

      You are so strong and brave Amanda, I don’t know how I would hold it together in your situation. I know your wedding will be amazing and just perfect, and remember blood ties don’t always make a family.
      GO YOU!!!

    • Abbe says...

      Sending good thoughts your way Amanda, and an internet hug. <3

    • Emma says...

      Oh my goodness that’s a lot to deal with at once. Sending you love and strength xxx

  30. Shira says...

    Laughing and nodding at that last wonderful reader comment. It’s real, indeed! One of many reasons I read every day.

    • Amara Bray says...

      I am clueless about that comment! Can you explain to me?