Five Gifts for New Mothers

New underwear! That’s all I wanted. During pregnancy I stretched all mine out or only wore boring comfy ones… or they were destroyed by the loveliness (eh-hem) of a pregnant body. My favorite gift was new prettty undies- I felt like me again.

My first was born 6 weeks early, and my mom, who had planned to be there at the birth, ended up hopping a flight out the day after I gave birth. She showed up with the best gifts: a pair of slippers and a lightweight, pretty cotton robe. Not only did the robe shield my backside in that flimsy hospital gown, but it was the perfect thing to wear through all the nights of midnight nursing. Now as my girlfriends have their babies, soft cotton PJs or robes are my go-to gifts. Moms always know best, don’t they?

My kids are 8 and 5, but I still remember the pain of sleep deprivation. (I’m not the person who exists well on a few hours of sleep!) So when a dear friend recently had a baby, I offered to come over and hold and feed the baby for the first nighttime “shift.” I arrived at 8 PM, she nursed the baby, left me a bottle–and went to bed. He was only a few weeks old and a little on the small side, so he was on an eating-every-two-hours schedule, so I fed him again at about 10:15, and she got up to nurse at 12:30. But she said she slept for four solid hours (I hope that’s true!), and I loved those wee, quiet hours with this new life. As I drove home down dark neighborhood streets, I thought about the magic of babies and about how much of a privilege it is to care for new parents.

– Sushi!! A close friend brought me a few rolls of sushi a couple days after I had my baby, it was perfect! (Even when I dropped soy sauce on my newborn’s head :) ) – hearty, healthy muffins, the perfect one-handed energy food for that early-morning feeding when you are not ready for breakfast
– a pre-made salad ready to go in a container with a dressing on the side. I really wanted nice big salads full of yummy things, but the thought of standing at the counter chopping veggies was exhausting. This can be homemade or just picked up from a salad place, that’s fine too!
– her fave fancy coffee shop beverage that you pick up and bring over to her while it’s still hot! In those first few days at home, the thought of going out for coffee with the baby is daunting but the thought of an indulgent caffeinated beverage is very tempting, so when my friend showed up with a ridiculous whipped-cream-topped frappucino (that I had been craving all week), I was so grateful!
– a cozy robe if she doesn’t have one (my husband surprised me with an enormous hotel style bathrobe that I lived in for a couple weeks there!)

Oh my goodness, I’m completely horrified at the idea of suggesting a new mother should watch Catastrophe!! The first season is so funny and real, but after that it’s all just real and TERRIFYING. It gave me flash backs to every difficult thing that happened in the first three years of my twins’ lives — and there were lots. Yikes.

If you can, let the parents know that they can text you at anytime. When you are a new parent you’re up almost every two hours and the loneliest times for me were at night. At night you are struggling to breastfeed and you start to feel a little crazy(okay, totally crazy). I would text my family at anytime and it always made me feel better, even if they couldn’t respond until the morning.

My suggestion – don’t visit for at least 2 weeks, ideally 1 month! All the new visitors are so overwhelming and I found it hard to say no. Also, holding the baby isn’t reallt helpful for mama. Dropping off food, or simple groceries, without even knocking is so so helpful!

A walk in the park with her and the baby. Do whatever you can to support her (holding, stroller pushing, feeding, chatting while nursing) while she gets a few fresh breaths in. This will remind her that the world is still out there, the same world she may miss dearly and yearn for when on the other side of birth. It can be hard, and this is just the kind of support many moms need. And it’s free!

A friend whose kitchen was under renovation offered to set up a meal train for us, and that was a fantastic gift!

Also, one of my neighbors dropped off flowers, a bucket of k cups, and a package of newborn diapers. It was so sweet and thoughtful (and the diapers I had were all size 1 and the reason pee was getting everywhere…).

I also think just the gift of visiting and socializing was so nice for me. For me as thrilled as I was to have this new baby, it was also a little isolating. Even though my husband was there with me, he was also struggling with this massive transition, so when people would come over things felt a little more normal. (I’m getting choked up just thinking about this.)

Really, I think ANY thoughtful token that your’e thinking of the new mom and growing family will be so appreciated.

Love all of these ideas.
I like to give a nice water bottle or lately Corkcicle. If I know the mother is breast feeding then including Mother’s Milk tea as well. SInce the Corkcicle will keep drinks hot and cold! And I include a handwritten note about motherhood. Always personal anecdotes and humor included. I remember being so dang thirsty with newborns and so it is a reminder to keep baby healthy, momma has to stay healthy and practice self-care.

Um, I can’t wait to see the second version of this post that is just readers suggestions!!

These are such great tips. And, I LOVE talking about finance strategy, it is so empowering to feel confident and in control. It’s funny because one of the easiest topics for my husband and I to talk about is our financing, I feel so fortunate that we are aligned in our goals and priorities – looking at your retirement. ;)

I would also like to recommend the following book: The Index Card: Why Personal Finance Doesn’t Have to Be Complicated. The Index Card helped us not only focus on immediate financial planning like debt elimination and savings strategies but also smart tips for how to structure your retirement investments, etc. IT. IS. A. GAME. CHANGER.

Once last tip that we use. My husband and I divide our finances as followings: a certain percentage of our income goes into our joint checking account. These funds cover mortgage, car payments, groceries, gas, bills, savings, and other reoccurring costs that effects both of our lives. So for us, we put 80% in our joint accounts, which leaves 20% for personal stuff. For me, it’s dinning out with friends, clothes/beauty, yoga membership, etc. It works great for us!

After my each of my children were born, my gram brought me a long, hooded Barefoot Dreams cardigan with a pair of matching socks. They are so soft and cozy for me and my babies. I basically lived in them all through nursing and deeply appreciated the extra comfort. Now, it’s my go-to gift for any new mom.

Take whoever is visiting out of the house for a little while! Give the new parents an hour alone with their baby. Come back with chocolate covered strawberries.

One thing I like to do for the new Moms in my life is have their favorite pizza delivered to their house. It seems to be greatly appreciated so far.

So many comments and lovely ideas for those who are really close. I had a coworker on her first mat leave and one day I was in her hood making a home visit to a client. I stopped by a deli, bought two sandwiches and drinks, and texted her that I would drop by in 5 minutes and could stay for a few minutes or go. When she opened the door, she burst into tears. The spontaneous lunch and a half hour of work gossip was the best thing that had happened to her all week.

When my daughter gave me the best gift ever – my granddaughter, every time I visited (they lived out of town), I stocked her freezer. I took frozen soups, homemade spaghetti and meatballs, meatloaf, meatballs, cookie dough, sloppy joe’s, casseroles, etc…I would also take homemade granola and snacks so she didn’t have to worry about cooking. I would also give them gift cards for restaurants, so they could pick up dinner when in a pinch. To this day, she tells me how grateful she was to not have to cook.

My favorite gift was a care package from my sister-in-law. It was full of Trader Joes snacks and a nice new tube of mascara. I did so much more snacking than actual meal eating in those first few weeks and there was something about swiping on some nice mascara that made me feel pulled together even when I was living in yoga pants and nursing tanks.

This gives me baby fever !

I delivered my son (now 2) two weeks early, so we weren’t quite prepared… Our amazing friends (already parents) brought over yogurt, cut up fresh fruit, and (no joke) Colace for me as a “just in case” present and a six-pack of beer for my husband the day we came home from the hospital. Later on, one sweet friend (not a mom) brought a four-pack of individual sized canned sparkling wine to remind me of our happy hour-ing days. So perfect, because opening a bottle seemed ridiculous when all I was comfortable drinking was a few sips. The worst of my post-partum symptoms arose when I was transition back to work, so truly the best gift I received was the continued support- 4-5-6 months in as I navigated that change. Couldn’t have done it without the “urban tribe.”