Four Great Things

Oh I’m so sorry, I really feel you on this one. It took me so long to even begin to be comfortable with asking for a raise. I found that negotiations only really worked for me when in my heart of hearts I felt OK walking away from a job that wouldn’t say yes to my request (or at least compromise). I wasn’t “putting it all out on the line” by asking my boss for more money, I was going in to gauge how valuable my boss thought I was. If my boss did not see the value (that I know I have), then this job is simply not for me and I’d start to consider my options (I know that not everyone has other options). This way, even a rejection would merely put me in better position for a brighter future.

Framing it this way made me feel more confident asking and made me less emotional about the interaction. Also, there’s a great book out there: Secrets of Six Figure Women, that really opened my eyes. I only read a few chapters, but even just the tone is so empowering. It made me realize that I have no chance of being happy in a job that pays less than what I am worth.

Sending you love!

All the Ughhhhs for that boss. Negotiating your career / salary is a tricky subject for all women. We never learnt how to own our worth, let alone communicate it in an effective way. If we ask for more, we fear being seen as greedy etc. But the reality is that most of what holds us back is between our ears. That’s exactly why I made this presentation, that delves deep into the mindset changes we need to make in order to get the paid what we deserve: http://www.winwebinar.org. And you can join my FB group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/womeninnegotiationwin/ for tips and strategies and FB lives and allllll the fun!

Oooff, that was bitter to read. I hope you can laugh at his false ego instead of letting his comment get to you. Just remember that people in a superior position at work are still human and can say mean and/or dumb things but it doesn’t mean that they are actually superior. Their ego usually comes from their position in the hierarchy within the company.

Em, I come from the nonprofit world myself, so I know how difficult it is. What I suggest is going to your supervisor for a serious discussion about your goals in this role and what it would take to reach your desired salary. Bring ALL your research and talking points along — have more information than necessary, including data on the average salary in your industry, for you level of experience and education. A supervisor can’t dispute facts like those. It may be that you need to take on more responsibility until then, and prove to your supervisor that you’re indispensable. Once evaluation time rolls around, make your case again for the raise.

Yes, I agree. This article seems really out of touch to me too.

Not sure what state you are in – or if you’re in the US even – but more and more states are making it illegal for employers to ask candidates about their salary histories (NY and CA I know for sure, more coming this year and 2019)….this includes online forms. Definitely check!

It’s a positive step in the right direction aimed to mitigate against that cycle of inequity/discrimination that perpetuates lower salaries and will hopefully get more employers thinking about paying based off skill/qualifications/market competitiveness.

The issue here is that in states where the “past salary” question has been banned (THANK GOD!), the question has simply become “what is your desired salary”, as was the case in the OP’s situation. However, when asked for our desired salary, we tend to self-censor as we don’t want to take ourselves out of the competition before the game has started.

My general advice when job hunting, is to not go down the online form route. The chances of actually getting a job that way are slim, plus you have to deal with all that online form crap. So here’s what i’d recommend you do instead: if you see a job you love, call up the company and ask to speak to the hiring manager directly. You get boatloads of information, that you can use to tailor your cover letter accordingly, then send it by email to that person. Et voila: you’re on top of the pile with the perfect letter, escaping algorithms entirely. Second piece of advice: start digging for roles in your network. It has been estimated that 90% of the job market is hidden, ie not advertised. Find companies you love, where you’d be thrilled to work. Check your network to see who works there or has contacts there, ring them up and FEED THEM. You think i am kidding? i am not. take them out for lunch. People love being fed. And they’ll talk. So you learn if this is indeed the environment for you. perhaps they’ll even know about opportunities there. if not, ask them for the three people they think you should meet in their networks, plus contact details. Rinse and repeat with those. Within weeks, you’ve bagged yourself a host of opportunities, REAL opportunities, not algorithm-based ones. Hope this helps! Thinking of doing a webinar on this in my Women In Negotiation FB group soon – thoughts? https://www.facebook.com/womeninnegotiationwin/

Lisa, this book sounds wonderful!! Thank you for the excerpt and recommendation, it’s going on my list.