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Have a Great (Long) Weekend.

Have a Great (Long) Weekend.

What are you up to this weekend? I’m loving the weather right now — fall is in the air! Can’t wait for wool sweaters, rosy cheeks and crunchy leaves. The boys already have their Halloween costumes planned in great detail. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…

Jerry Before Seinfeld, a comedy special about how the legend got his start.

Who wants some olive oil chocolate mousse?

Comfort.

Looking into the future for a child with autism. Beautiful.

I want to wear these earrings every day.

50 strict rules the Royal Family has to follow. (“At dinner parties, the Queen begins by speaking to the person seated to her right. During the second course, she switches to the guest on her left.”)

How to answer the question, “When will you have a baby?

This home store has such a nice vibe.

Jenny’s five favorite summer salads for right now.

Still Life Real Life is a long-term project focusing on the relationship between two sisters.

Good vibes hooks.

Finally, most important, here’s a list of ways to help people affected by Hurricane Harvey. Also, two beautiful moments of humanity: boats and bakers.

Plus, two great reader comments…

Says Jess on four fun things: “I’m here to say that Issa Rae is A GODDESS. If you’re not watching Insecure, I don’t know what you’re doing with your life. It’s the greatest thing to happen to TV in the past 10 years. WATCH IT.”

Says Katherine on grocery store cheese pairings: “My 90-year-old grandfather has a ‘signature’ cheese board for his daily cocktail hour, which begins promptly at 5 p.m. There are four ingredients: apple slices, Triscuits, onions and the sharpest cheddar cheese he can get his hands on. He starts prepping for cocktail hour at 4 p.m. by taking the sharp cheddar out of the fridge. He insists that cheddar is at its most delicious — and should only be enjoyed — at room temperature. As a kid, I found waiting an hour for the cheese pure torture!”

(Photo by Kate Arends.)

  1. re: katherine’s cheese comment:
    at my job we have a client that runs two very popular cheese shops here in town. on the day of our photoshoot for their new website i learned from the ladies that basically all cheese is meant to be eaten at room temp, never straight from the fridge!

  2. Heather says...

    Thank you so much for the article on infertility. As a 35 year old married woman with years of infertility issues under my belt, I’ve heard it all. It’s good to read things about women like me.

  3. Sasha says...

    Because we are low in population and quite far off of most Americans’ radars, the wild fires in Montana this summer have gotten very little national press. Just in case you don’t know, close to a million acres are currently burning. People have lost homes, ranches, live stock. Countless wild life killed or homeless. A national monument burned to the ground in Glacier despite valiant efforts to save it. Two brave young fire fighters, gone. The smoke is making life almost unbearable in many towns, for MONTHS now, with no end in sight. Towns are being evacuated because of air quality.

    Our president has refused to free FEMA money for this disaster.

    Here’s a link with ideas too help, if you’d like.
    http://www.kulr8.com/story/36287781/how-you-can-help-with-fire-relief-efforts

    Fires are also burning all over the west, we all need a lot of help. In Montana, snow is our only hope now. And this week is nothing but high 80s and wind.

    • I live in B.C. Canada and we are having the worst wild fire season in recorded history. I live on Vancouver Island where thankfully there has been little fire activity but there is a smoky haze lying over us caused by the fires in the interior. Thinking of all the people affected by wildfires and the men/women fighting them.

  4. Laurel Hammond says...

    Your blog is the best thing on the internet. I’ve been following since “pre-wedding” and it is the only blog I still follow.

  5. tracey says...

    As always a great round-up. I am trying to be empathetic to those that are hugely hurt by the “when are you going to have kids / get pregnant” question but I have a hard time understanding the pain it instills.

    I have gone through extensive fertility treatments and miscarriages and endless conversations about whether to adopt or not and never once did the questions from strangers, acquaintances, family, neighbors, friends, etc bother me. Depending on how much or little I felt like chatting I would just answer honestly in a long or short way (“We are trying but facing some struggles.” or before I was married I would say “We will see what the future holds.”). The question never hurt me and it certainly didn’t remind me of my struggles (because during fertility struggles it was ALWAYS on my mind).

    I guess I am one to appreciate the opportunity to discuss true experiences, feelings, opinions, etc. It allows for a greater understanding for each other.

    For now I will refrain these questions (when are you getting married, when are you having kids, etc) because I don’t want to inadvertently hurt someone but I welcome honest discussions so feel free to ask me.

  6. coda says...

    Wow! thanks for pointing me towards INSECURE – I love it!
    Jo, have you watched ATYPICAL in Netflix? It might be your kind of thing and resonate with you. My sister is a child with autism and although not every aspect of the series resembled our life with her, it still is good to watch! It has deep moments but also loads of laughter!

  7. Amy says...

    Thank you for including harvey in this post. I’ve been a long time reader of your blog. And a long time Houston resident. It is heart breaking to see what my friends and fellow Houstonians are going through. The children, mothers and fathers who have lost everything. It is so hard.

  8. Nora Romanoff says...

    May boats and bakers be our touchstone when it feels were otherwise without. We are good.

  9. The article on autism is one of the sweetest and wisest things I’ve read in a while “The future should look like the best parts of your present”. What a sweet and true lesson – now I sort of want to find an etsy esq print of it, hang it on my wall next to a picture of the lamb on the sheep, and eat a bowl of olive oil chocolate mousse. What a great day that would be!

  10. Can I just tell you how much I love your blog. I don’t read it on vacations and I get SO excited to go back to my computer and catch up. It make easing back into life a little happier.

    oh and my husband calls you “the Jo blog.”

  11. Emily says...

    For those of you touched by the article on Ethan, please watch Netflix recent series “Aypical”. It’s so heartwarming and well done!

  12. Lisa says...

    On the royal rules thing – all I can say is THANK GOODNESS my husband isn’t queen (or king). He eats super fast – literally in nearly a decade together I’ve only finished one meal before him, and I had no clue what to do. I just stared at him

  13. Simone says...

    Oh my goodness, I am crying. The Looking into the Future… article is so perfect in every way. My older brother (29 this year) has Austism and Aspergers and it has only been in the last few years of my life (I’m now 26) that I have been truly able to understand, respect and work out my own way of how to be a good sister to him. Furthermore, articles like this allow me to begin to understand it all from my mother’s point of view (although I’ll only ever be able to scratch the surface). This time for her wasn’t easy and I know she still has concerns for the future like what will happen when she is gone. More open dialogue about Austism is crucial. Through articles like this, we can all learn to how to support and respect our children, brothers and sisters with autism.

  14. Emily says...

    The story about Ethan is powerful. I was deeply moved at Ethan’s initiative and also at his knowing himself, at his confidence in his future, at his certainty. This for me recalls Neitzche’s Perspectivism and further, Plato’s Protagoras – the notion that there is no truth, and perhaps no reality but our own subjective experience. Here, this is Ethan’s truth and understanding of his own fulfilling reality. Thank you for sharing!

  15. NancyLou says...

    When you get to be my age, the question is usually “How many grandchildren do you have?” I always answer “None.” When people find out I don’t have kids either, the replies vary. One woman said, “That’s okay — because you have him [pointing to my husband] and he has you.”

  16. Meghan says...

    Loved the article on Ethan, how wonderful! I have a little brother on the spectrum (well, not so little… I guess younger is a better word, as he is 29 now). I am so, so privileged to have grown up with him! I learned so much! His ‘obsession’ was and still is video games. I remember when he was a kid he had a lot of the classic signs – not great eye contact, sensory issues (noise and he never, and still doesn’t, wear jeans), very rule oriented. He struggled with theory of mind and reading social cues. He had some wonderful friends growing up that he still has. He has come SO far from that little kid. He has 2 jobs (he drives a taxi and works at the desk at a hotel!), he owns a home, and… he and his wife have been married for a year and a half. They own a business together too (that she runs). Did I EVER see any of that coming? No. He constantly surprises me and I am so proud of him.

  17. Kristin says...

    The autism article made me sad. No one thought to ask Ethan for 21 years what he wanted in his vision statement? Why don’t we respect disabled voices in our society?

  18. Allison says...

    I look forward to this post every week. I must say, that the reader comments at the end always make me think. THANK YOU!

  19. “Looking Into the Future for a Child With Autism” brought tears to my eyes. As a Learning Support teacher to a beautiful grade 7 student, each day I struggle with teachers telling me what he can’t do and me fighting back with what he can do, re-telling all the successes and not wanting to hear about his failures… so encouraging to hear other stories!

  20. Saz says...

    The article about Ethan literally made me cry.
    I’m a mainstream school teacher, and two years ago I was asked if I’d take a little boy with severe autism into my mainstream kinder-class. His parents were desperate for him to at least TRY mainstream, and if I was willing, they’d support everything 110%.
    Anyway, I kept that little lad for 2 years (I followed him into first grade) and it was my absolute honor and privilege to work with him. Sure, we had TERRIBLE days… But we had other days when he’d have me ROARING with laughter. And now? I’ve passed him up to a new teacher and I shall miss him terribly! He’s, quite literally, one of my favorite people in the world.

  21. Sheil says...

    I want to have cocktail hour with Kathrine’s 90-year-old grandfather. If not, I will carry his cocktail hour tradition on for many years in his honor. He knows what’s up!

    • Trish O says...

      Me too. Her grandfather and i could be good friends

  22. Amber says...

    Comfort.
    Just adorable. That picture makes me happy.

  23. MK says...

    +1000 for watching Insecure. So brilliant.

  24. Katie says...

    The looking into the future article made me tear up, thank you for sharing. Our almost 5 year old just started his last year of developmental preschool and I feel like I’m holding my breath hoping he leaps ahead and is able to tackle kindergarten next year in a successful way. That piece was a good reminder to enjoy his present achievements! (Like ride a pedal bike!!! Something we didn’t dare hope he would do!!!)

    • Sarah says...

      Congrats to your son on riding a pedal bike! What an awesome accomplishment :)

    • Katie says...

      Thank you Sarah!!! We couldn’t be more thrilled for him 😊

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that’s amazing, katie!!! rooting for your sweet son; your family sounds really loving and lovely. xoxo

  25. Hope says...

    On “When will you have a baby?”…Add this question to the mix, “Why DIDN’T you just adopt?” Wow. The sucker punch. The person asking has already passed judgement.

    Thanks Jo for continuing to help buffer the blow we experience on this sensitive topic.

  26. Maria says...

    Thank you so much for sharing the LifeHack on fertility. I’m very young and have recently been diagnosed with endometriosis, but as I’ve been married for a few years people feel it’s ok to ask about children, and I’ve been struggling to find an answer every time it happens. I know people mean well, and I don’t want to be bitter about it – I’d honestly rather wait a few more years, travel a bit more, etc, but I also know the longer I wait, the lesser are my chances of conceiving – naturally or otherwise. But every time I get the question it brings up all of those issues and I just really struggle to cope and keep cool about the whole thing. Immediately after reading I managed to go through a whole conversation with my in-laws without letting the issue become an uncomfortable part of the conversation and you cannot imagine the relief I feel right now. So thank you!

  27. Liza says...

    The turning during a formal meal is pretty standard. At a large dining room table it is pretty difficult to have a conversation with several people at once, so you generally speak only to the people next to you and switch with each course. The reason the Queen starts to the right is that she is the hostess and the guest of honor always sits to the right of the host/hostess. That dictates the table layout and is why it is important to balance a table at a formal dinner. Everyone needs to have someone to talk to.

  28. That olive oil chocolate mousse looks incredible! I can’t wait to try it…with some flaky sea salt on top :-)

  29. aga says...

    Katherine’s grandfather!!! That comment needs to be included in the Cup of Jo Anthology Reader’s Comments ;)

    On a more serious note, sending prayers to Texas from Toronto. The scenes are horrible! And the situation is made even more horrible by the current administration. (Who could think of reversing flood protection policy right before a hurricane?! Who could think of redirecting that money to building a wall when 40,000 homes need to be rebuilt!? Who could deny climate change while another so-called “100-year storm” devastates a city? I don’t understand what is happening in your country. Who gave all the ignorant, greedy people so much power?!)

  30. Alyssa says...

    Thank you for sharing how folks can help Harvey flood victims! As a Houstonian, it’s fantastic to see how men and women, without badge or uniform, are stepping up and becoming local heroes. For some beautiful stories of hope, check out this Instagram feed. Oh and have a box of tissues nearby. :)
    https://www.instagram.com/hopeforharvey/

  31. Kel says...

    The “Looking into the Future” piece–gah! I just sent my four kids to school and have bawled a few times a day for the last couple of days every time I read or hear about a mom or dad bursting their guts to grow, love, educate and keep safe their children.

    Listening to The Moth podcast “Gestures Great and Small” where a Middle Eastern mom was trying to raise her kids in Civil Rights-era Ohio, hearing that her children were being mistreated for their homemade cultural lunch food, and then showing up with her amazing food cooked for her son’s entire class, including take-home flatbread! Then doing it the next day and again the next for the siblings’ classes! Such a kind and gracious way to teach children, but one also full of work and sacrifice. Parents, you amaze me.

  32. April says...

    Thank you for thinking of us in Houston! We are bolstered by the kindness, comfort, and very real help from friends near and far. We love you, Joanna and Team!

  33. Mel says...

    “Yes, that “Looking Into the Future Article” was lovely. Oh, that last line! And, RE: what to say when people ask when you’ll have a baby. Years ago someone asked my husband this question at church. Without skipping a beat, he replied, “Ya know, we’re actually going to start trying tonight!” Since then, it’s been our go-to response.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahaha i love that, mel!

  34. Emily says...

    I find it interesting how selective news outlets and blogs (HuffPost and here for example) are leaving off one of the biggest groups helping with the relief efforts for Hurricane Harvey — Catholic Charities USA.
    Why? It is because they are a religious group? They are doing more than some of the places listed but constantly they are left off.

    Just an interesting observation as people look at effective donations and how we choose what charities to help.

    • aga says...

      Catholic charities make me uncomfortable because the Catholic church is wildly corrupt.

    • Emily says...

      to AGA:
      They are also the largest charitable organization in the world between the international work, relief services, and local works. To ignore them because they are a religious group is just silly.

      I would love to hear about your resources for why you think the Catholic Church is corrupt. Also, while the Charities are supported by the Church the money from donations doesn’t go to the Catholic Church, just the charity work.

    • Andrea says...

      Amen, Emily! I see this, too, and am disappointed that more outlets don’t highlight CC, that has a large and established and audited presence in TX.

  35. Em says...

    Thanks for sharing the “looking into the future” article…really beautiful, and I found it so comforting to think about the future as the best parts of your present.

  36. I would love those hooks for my classroom! So cute!