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We feature an illustration by the awesome Mari Andrew every Friday morning. Here’s today’s.
P.S. The people worth impressing, and summer scents.
On Vulnerability
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29 Comments
That’s a good idea. I think I should do this everyday. Thanks for sharing!
I really like this illustration. Vulnerability is often seen as a weakness, but I think it is so wonderful to see someones vulnerability. It makes people so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this wonderful illustration and the thougths it awakens…
I sooo relate to the Netflix one. My taste in books is the complete OPPOSITE of my taste in TV shows. I take pride in my bookshelf, but when I’m pulling up Netflix and there’s an audience to my recently viewed list, I can’t help but feel sheepish. Cue “Pretty Little Liars” and “Gossip Girl.” I justify it by claiming that due to my strict avoidance of that type of thing growing up, I’m making up for it now–right? However, I know my husband truly loves me because he’ll watch them with me. My only punishment is the regret I feel after every episode and his (kind but) judgy eyes….
THE NOTES SECTION OF YOUR PHONE. YAS.
Hmm… I think this one just scratches a tiny bit of the surface. Vulnerability is so much more. And terribly important. Try reading or listening to Brenè Brown’s book/ audiobook “The Power or Vulnerability. In it she discusses how being truly vulnerable can change your life and why it’s so critical, especially for women, to open up and be vulnerable. I now look for this capacity in all my friendships. I used to be “friends” with other moms who could only go as far as, “my baby spit up on me in public” (wow welcome to motherhood). and projected perfection like it was their life’s calling. I found a friend who has become my best friend simply because she was willing to open up to me about her struggling marriage. We are so close now, I don’t know what I’d do without her. Give me someone real any day. It’s so hard to connect and be real with people who cannot be vulnerable- usually a waste of your time! Perhaps being in my 30s has helped me to factor this in my relationships- highly recommend the book!
I highly doubt I project perfectionism as the women you describe do but this is a little disheartening because I have a real problem letting myself be vulnerable. I have been through some rough stuff in my life that makes it very hard to open up to people. Something to consider before you think it’s a waste of time to try to connect with someone.
Amy, I’m sorry my comment was disheartening for you to read. It was meant to be encouraging but I see your side well, I’ve had past trauma too and it is still not easy to be vulnerable. But when you are, and a friendship benefits or deepens, it’s so worth it. Therapy has helped me to filter out relationships with judgmental people that add no value to my life…not to inhibit me from making connections.
Brenè Brown also has a fantastic Ted Talk, and I especially like this quote: “Vulnerability is not weakness, and the uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure we face every day are not optional. Our only choice is a question of engagement. Our willingness to own and engage with our vulnerability determines the depth of our courage and the clarity of our purpose; the level to which we protect ourselves from being vulnerable is a measure of our fear and disconnection.”
Thanks Annie, I need to work on it I guess. Have a great weekend :)
And thank you for posting this, as it never occurred to me that being vulnerable is a secret to friendship. Will definitely have to remember.
I loved when she posted this on Instagram a few days ago! She’s so good.
I LOVE this so much!
YES to the notes section. That is where I do my “therapy”/encouragement notes to myself on the train too!!
I always adore these, but when I saw the illustration this morning I was a bit like “huh?” I just didn’t get it. Then when I was scrolling through the comments it hit me. At 42 I aged out of it! So here’s the thing ladies. You will get to the point where you just do not feel vulnerable about the little things and it is awesome! You will literally not care. And not like “I am saying I don’t care because I know I shouldn’t care and I am trying to convince myself.” YOU WON’T CARE. :-)
THIS. I’m 38 and I totally didn’t get this. There are some great things about getting older, I guess.
I’m almost 39 and not quite there yet! Maybe it takes longer for some?
I was the same. Did not get it at all. Still don’t really get it.
So true.
I’m 45 and got it immediately – I’d love to get to where you are!! :)
A few years ago, I had a terribly stressful and draining job, and I would write myself “encouraging notes” on my phone during my morning subway commute. Things like “just get through today” and “I am strong enough to do this”. Then, after a software update, they started popping up on a laptop I shared with my boyfriend (thanks, technology!) – needless to say, he was VERY concerned.
hahahaha this is amazing :) and I’m glad you did get through it!
I feel the pain of the Instagram one!! I get even more self conscious when it’s an Instastory and I’m speaking because I don’t like the sound of my voice!! But I make it a point to post anyway as a way of overcoming my vulnerability! xx yael
good for you, yael!!
Thanks so much for your response! Means a lot. Most people assume as a blogger I don’t have any self confidence issues, but as someone who grew up being bullied it’s still a daily struggle. Lots of love! xx yael
Hehe so true…
Begin Again! How I adore that film! And every single Mari post, she always captures things so perfectly!
#Truth. She is so relatable!!
“The first 20 photos you instagrammed” really hits home because I started that account to post photos from the very early days of my fitness journey. It’s so interesting to look back and see a girl who had hope but not alot of success or experience and compare her to where I am right now a couple of years later.
oh man, the notes section of my phone truly is me at my most vulnerable!!!
“The ‘Notes’ section of your phone.” Oh my goodness, YES.
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