How Old Are You?

I’m 72 years old and I disagree with some of what’s been written. While aging is inevitable and beautiful, there is also great loss in physical well being, and much of this loss is because of choices we make every day. I’m challenging all of us women to choose to take care of our bodies. After being ill last summer, I took up a strength training program with free weights and machines, I run on the elliptical 6 days a week, and I can honestly say I’m in better shape now than I was when I was forty. I don’t say this to shine a light on myself but rather to encourage all women to make their own health a priority, and to get the support you need to age well.

I’ll be 70 in March. Can’t wait! After a health scare, I started really taking better care of myself. Lost 22#, work out with weights EVERY DAY for 20 minutes and walk about 30-45 minutes later in the day. I have never felt or looked better. Sure, I have wrinkles, but I’ve earned them. I’m happy, married 47 years, kids, grandkids. Life’s good

I’m 50 year old, and while I feel disbelief while I type that, I also feel great about it! I had my kids when I was 38 and 40, so I think I may feel younger because of them. What I love about midlife: I feel so much more freedom. I love my career and I love being really good at my job. I eat what I want, but most of the time, TBH, that’s pretty healthily because I want to stay healthy and active for as long as possible. In many ways, I feel like a lot of mid-life is about learning to parent yourself: you start knowing what you really need and how to give it to yourself. It has been strange to watch my face and body age (oh man, ladies – put the sunscreen on your neck and chests!!!!), but it has also been freeing to not feel people’s eyes on me as much. I mostly feel intensely grateful.

The bad part: I do feel my own mortality, especially as I watch my parents age. Its scary. That’s my big project for the next few decades, I think: becoming okay with impermanence.

Yep, it feels this way ;)

An article/discussion about menopause would be great. My friends and I are going through so many different versions of the same “stage” of life and NONE of us really had a conversation with anykne about it prior to it happening to us!
I’ve forged ahead with starting conversations about menopause with younger women friends because NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MENOPAUSE!
Younger women have all, without exception, thanked me for the prompt and information, because they want and nedd to know what could happen and to be ready and prepared.
We all talk about puberty, so why the hush-hush and fearsome silence about menopause???

I’m reading these posts from women in their 20’s and 30’s and it makes me chuckle a little bit. I turned 50 last week and I’m starting to struggle with some new and uncomfortable emotions. I’m forging full steam ahead, baby…because there is no alternative! I hope this doesn’t sound too vain but for many years I was that woman who turned heads almost everywhere I went. I was always aware that men were noticing me, although I like to think I never fully “identified” with my looks in the way some women do. Men used to follow me on the street, and tables full of them turned around when I walked into a nightclub or restaurant. I even went on a cruise once and some women actually complained to the captain that I received too much attention from male passengers and that it ruined their vacation!!! I think the discontinuation of that is one of the hardest things because it represents a loss of control and power. Now men pass by and look right through me. Sometimes they glance and then quickly look away. It all feels so sudden–how the hell did this happen overnight? But it wasn’t overnight, was it? Life unfolds one page at a time and soon those pages become chapters. I’m trying to stay positive but I’m not going to lie–it’s pretty challenging. Getting old is not for sissies. I never wanted children and never dreamed of the white wedding dress so I never felt that time pressure to meet “the one” and settle down. My 30th birthday was not even on my richter scale. 40 was fun. Now gravity is tapping on my door and things are getting real. One more little diddy, I just started menopause which is handing me a whole new set of challenges. You don’t own your body, you RENT it. Whenever I start going down the dark rabbit hole of self pity I remember two women I once knew and it puts everything in perspective. The first was a childhood friend who drowned when we were 18. We used to ride the bus together and she was a physically beautiful girl. The second was the most charismatic, funny and vivacious women I’ve ever known who died of brain cancer at 45. How they both would have LOVED to have made it to menopause. Thinking about them humbles me a little, even through my own tears.

Recently turned 40. I feel like it’s my best age yet and I’m going through a divorce. I have ups and downs but I have the perspective to see the light even in the murkiest moments. Also, feeling comfortable in my own skin and finally finally feeling beautiful is such a blessing. Took a lifetime of self-loathing to truly appreciate it.

This is in fact a beautiful post. And I have become addicted to your blog. But, I’m shallow today, and what I really want to know more than anything right now is what color lipstick you’re wearing in this picture. Gorgeous

‘You’re all your ages within one body’ – what a beautiful line! I never really thought about aging until quite recently when all my friends started making life changing decisions like getting married and moving to another country. This makes me look forward to aging gracefully.

Lovely words. As I approach 60 in 2018 – I am so grateful for LIFE – my wonderful husband of 36 years, my sons who are living happy and productive lives, my sweet daughter in laws who love my boys, and oh my darling little granddaughters who have given me the chance to be a little girl again to play baby dolls, Barbie’s, and play dough “cooking”.
I am so lucky.

I’m only 26 but since I have my son I’m always thinking I’m already 30 something. Being mom somehow makes me old (my eyes area start wrinkling and all I talk about is my child)… but in a good way! I only have couple years in my 20s, and honestly looking forward for 30. It will be even greater hope so (:

I am 47. I am stuck at 25.
I feel like I have never really grown up. It is hard to describe.
I never had children and I think that is a big part of why I don’t feel like a grown up. The other reason is, due to many life circumstances, my Mom and I live together.
When I see myself in the mirror, I don’t recognize who I see. This past year people have stopped telling me I look younger than I am. My body is filled with several chronic diseases and it is visibly taking control. Plus pre menopause has begun. I wish I could go back and do a lot of things differently.
However, I am very happy in my daily life, my work and what I have accomplished.
It’s a mixed feeling kind of place.

LOVE IT

:) same feeling.

I could read this over and over. So beautifully written and all so true. You will love your 40’s. I have let go of so many things that used to rattle me, and embraced who I really am. Each year is more liberating than the last.

I’m apparently 42…I’m still trying to figure out how that happened as in my head I’m still only 19! But I am also sooooooo glad to be 42! I have friends that are 27, so full of angst and worry about what people think…I long ago gave up having any effs about those kind of worries. I always like to say that it’s only numbers and you’re only as old as you feel…just wish those pesky grey hairs would stop though…my hairdresser owns me! ☺️

I think I’m a little late to the party, but WOW! I loved this post.
I just turned 27 in April and its weird that I feel both old and really young.

Everyone says that I’m still “a baby” and I can’t say they’re wrong. Sometimes I feel like a mischievous 4 year old. But within me, I feel there is also a really tired, cynical fifty something year old. And I never understood how I could be both those things in one space. I’m thinking now, that its because I have already lived so much “life” in terms of sheer volume of experience, and all those experiences are what make me feel older.
P.S. I too have been a miserable law student, so we have that in common ;-)

this is my favorite post written. By anyone.

What a beautiful post. I’m turning 31 in August and I am the happiest I’ve ever been! I’ve made so many mistakes in my past, I feel I a compendium of knowledge on the subject of what not to do. I have a very firm resolve, and I know my values inside and out now. I know what is most important in life and how to protect it at all costs.

Life has never been better. And within the next year or two, I’m hoping I will become a mother and then let’s talk about how I said today that life has never been better.

:)

I’m 32. I live in LA which is relevant because it truly is a city where aesthetics matter. My dermatologist recently recommended botox. I’m not opposed to extra help, but not at this age. I have a problem with the vanity involved in getting toxins injected in my face to prevent fine lines. I worried that it would set me up to have an unhealthy perspective on aging.

I’m happily married, but I’m battling infertility. Birthdays are a little scary because I feel like I’m racing against the clock.

I’m far more confident in my 30’s than my 20’s. I’m proud of my accomplishments, but I still experience feelings of inadequacy and overwhelming self-doubt. This is in part because I haven’t fully matured into the self-confident and assertive woman I’m working toward. I fear the effect social media has on my (and others) self-image. I’m guilty of comparing myself to friends, co-workers, and beautiful strangers even though I know I’m only seeing the filtered, filmed, and formulated versions of people’s lives.

“You’re all of your ages within one body.”

I never thought of it like that before, yet I love that so much. I am 29 now, yet I’m still a gymnastics-obsessed 8 year-old, 16 in the passenger seat of my high school sweetheart’s truck, figuring out how to pay my own bills and “Cheers!”-ing with my friends at 21, and climbing the corporate ladder and falling in love with my husband at 25. Now, on the cusp of 30 and 9 weeks pregnant with our first child, I am older and younger than I have ever been. I am wide-eyed at the wonder of it all and how this one little body can contain so many versions of me. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’m 62 (had to do the math in my head). I still go to the gym, handle the yoga classes, hate ‘old’ looking clothes. I’ve always looked younger than my age and it turns out mom was right, that becomes a good thing later. But although I’m often told I look much younger I still look in the mirror and wonder why I just don’t Look as young as I Feel. Stay active, move it or lose it we say. Staying healthy continues to equal quality of life. And laugh. A lot.

I’ve been reading you for years and I think this is my favourite post ever. Lighthearted but meaningful, relatable but aspirational, honest but kind. You’ve put this early-forties mama at ease. Thank you.

Such amazing comments here.

I actually love getting older (I am 38 now) but I can’t get used to the post-pregnancy body I got. I am more assertive, more confident, more happy and undoubtedly more outspoken, too. I don’t feel the urge to be polite and proper all the time. I am not a rude person, but now I can tell people to “bugger off” when they are upsetting me. I really appreciate it. But I can’t face a mirror nor check a photo without thinking “wow, what is my Mom doing here?”

I’m a newly-ish thirty seven year old. And I loved reading this article. Myself, I’ve always embraced ageing… possibly because I often remind myself that I love my life and am happy to have experienced everything that has come thus far as I’ve gotten older. The good stuff has been joyful, the bad stuff now, I seem to be able to have the understanding that it led me to where I am now.

Three kids (under six) and a wonderful husband later, I still find that aside from the odd crick in the back that I may get (again…three kids under six) I barely feel a day out of high school. My forehead wrinkles have finally appeared and though I don’t have laugh lines yet, I think I’ll welcome them when they do because I view them in the same way – that they a memories of smiles and laughter. I find myself more comfortable in my own skin than ever before and more able to handle with perspective whatever life throws our way. It’s taken a long time and a lot of self-work, but I’m definitely more myself now than I would have allowed myself be when I was younger as I simply don’t have time for negative thoughts and worrying about what other will think (Ok… I still sometimes fall into that trap, but I am just SO much better at generally not going that route). I would say that the biggest concern that I find growing as I age isn’t necessarily for myself, but for the health of my parents. We see friends around us losing them to cancer, heart disease and other things now at this age. It’s the natural course of time, though.

As for forty, I’d have to say that I can’t wait to see what it brings me. Hopefully some really good laugh lines.

You have stated this so perfectly. I have never understood people who wished to turn back time. Getting older is so great for me. I know what I like. I know what I am like. I understand my limits and understand, more and more, that I don’t really have any. Thank you for putting it into words and being such a great virtual and intellectual friend. (I’m 41 and so happy to be 41!) xox

I’ll be celebrating my 31st birthday this month, and I love the last paragraph of this post so much. I think I’ll write a list for myself as an encouragement about the many iterations we have to look forward to in the future. Thank you for sharing.

This is a beautiful post! I especially love the last paragraph. You are so right when you say that we are all these things all at once. Its a great way to look at things.

I love this so much! When people feel uncomfortable about turning one year older, it makes me so sad — getting to get older is an amazing gift and I would love for us to keep celebrating getting one year older with one year more of experiences and skills the way we did when we were kids!