On Sex and ‘Girls’

Lukas Nelson! He’s dreamy! Kind, handsome, has the voice of an angel, slays a guitar, and puts in an amazing performance.

TV doesn’t have to right this, it’s bizarre to think “Hollywood” should, its bizarre to dictate how art represents sex to fit with what you deem acceptable. I don’t really understand your point. She’s writing a story, a slice of life, it doesn’t have to set a positive example, it often doesn’t, and that’s why it’s interesting and exciting.

I feel the same way about the lack of awareness regarding unprotected sex. That is the first thing that comes to my mind and I always think that it’s so unrealistic when a show doesn’t address the very terrifying elephant in the room. Thanks for pointing it out!

Tanya
http://www.laptopsandheels.com

I do think that Girls has covered the safe sex topic, but Marnie and Charlie quiet clearly did not use a condom, and that’s pretty distressing given Marnie’s revelations the next morning that Charlie is, uh…diabetic. (Ha.)

I am completely anal (bad choice of word, perhaps) about safe sex. Ladies and gentlemen, if you want your children to be similarly fastidious about condom use, get them to work at a sexual health clinic at 18 years old, like I did. Better yet, get them in there earlier.

I’m really glad you pointed this out. I know so many young people who don’t care about wearing condoms or not. I’ve been in the situation where I’m telling the guy nothing’s gonna happen unless he wears a condom many times, and have only had condom-less sex with my now bf of 2+ years (I’m on the pill now).

I had to see one of my best friends get pregnant and go through an abortion because her bf didn’t like condoms and she wouldn’t tell him to wear them. And I advised her so much, I told her that she had to be tough with him and not have sex unless he would wear them, but she never listened. Pregnant at 19, while they were both in med school. Abortion was the only option for them.

And by the way, we’re not American. Abortion is illegal where we live, so she didn’t have the safe procedure you guys have access to in the US. Not every doctor will help you with an abortion because they go to jail if they have any type of involvement. The ones that do help you, tell you to get this medicine (I don’t remember the name) that’s used for ulcers but as a side effect causes abortions. You drink two and insert two in your vagina. It causes the product to detach from the uterus, and when you start bleeding you go to the doctor like you’re having an involuntary abortion and they’ll do the curettage.

IT’S A REAL ISSUE, so THANK you Joanna for bringing this up.
Young people!! wear condoms!!

YAASSSSSSSSS!!! LOVE THIS POST!

The whole time I watched TrainWreck I thought exactly the same thing! My 16-yo daughter even noticed it (when she watched at her dad’s house — grrrrr). good freakin’ grief!!

I might be the odd one out here but I have actually noticed a lot of tv shows addressing this topic. Broad City had an episode where Abbi forgot to use a condom and Ilana is mortified and really upset by that. Friends had a TON of condom references (Rachel and Monica fighting for the last one, Ross and Rachel getting pregnant because “it only works like 97% of the time”). Sex And The City had an episode where a man pointed out to Samantha that she should be getting tested regularly because of the amount of sex she enjoys. Gilmore Girls addressed this when Rory lost her virginity (“and we were safe, you know, I guess all those trojan jokes really paid off”). And like someone else pointed out Girls did address this topic as well. But it also address our humanity and our ability to make absolutely horrible decisions. And perhaps the episode with Marni was really to highlight a portion of that; she had a bit of a wakeup call when she realized she had just slept with someone who had become an addict and in turn realized she made another mistake in marrying someone she didn’t really love or respect and who didn’t love and respect her. In my opinion the characters we watch and read about in books and tv and movies shouldn’t be our moral compasses. They are characters; they can show us a lot about life and the human condition (good and bad, safe and unsafe) but they cannot be our saviors or the grounds on which we base our real life expectations.

YES. This would make my job (pediatrician- yes we talk to teens about safe sex too!) a WHOLE LOT easier. and of all the sex in the media, I feel like this show is most realistic. They have no good reasons NOT to do it. thanks for addressing this important topic, Joanna.

I used to spend my days calling women to tell them they had gonorrhea and chlamydia and herpes. It drives me crazy that the media creates such a disconnect between an image of sexy and what real and responsible sex and love are all about.

Great point! Though I do think it’s a bit awkward, even being married. It would be nice if sex wasn’t so messy or have so many steps to it! Hah. But you’re right – that’s real life and it’d be nice if Hollywood showed it how it was :)

Yes! My husband and I were freaking about the unprotected sex with a drug addict!

YES!!! I am so with you on this, it’s actually put me off the show a bit. The scene between Jessa and Adam drove me mad as they kind of just joked about it then that was that. Madness. Then the Marnie scene – the first thing I thought was maybe they’re trying to write her contracting HIV into the story?!

I find that YA novels address this situation pretty naturally. I can think of scenes in books like “The Girl Next Door” by Huntley Fitzpatrick, “What You Left Behind” by Jessica Verdi, and “Isla and the Happily Ever After” by Stephanie Perkins. I am always genuinely surprised, relieved, and glad the authors address it.

I’m all for safe sex but shouldn’t you be taking issue with all shows with sex scenes that do this? Why is GIRLS solely responsible? Also, part of what makes GIRLS so special is it is one of the more realistic shows about women and 24/7 safe sex isn’t the reality for a lot of people. GIRLS is a show not a public service announcement.

Totally agree. Having unprotected sex with a heroin user wouldn’t have me wistfully looking out a window reflecting on how much I’d grown. It would freak me the f out, knowing I had a long wait of repeated testing to make sure I was disease-free of anything from herpes to HIV. Yes, Girls is fiction and yes, it’s not the sole purpose of the show to preach about safe sex but given the show’s wonderfully fresh approach to showing sex in a very human, natural way – a few clever mentions of condoms would not be out of context.

YES! I had the exact same thought when I watched the latest episode with Marnie and Charlie. (spoiler alert ahead)
I couldn’t believe she just went for it without having known the guy at all for years – who knows who he was with after they broke up or what he’d been doing?

I’m so glad to see you write this post Jo, because it’s something that has bothered me about Girls since it began.