How to Ask for a Raise

This post, and all the comments were so helpful. I’m gearing up to ask for a raise, and while I’m not confident I’ll get it (my company isn’t well-known for regular raises, even if earned), at least I’m going to ask. My co-worker complains about no raises, but never asks, either. I’m working on my battle plan right now! :)

:) Very nice read!! Its always thought of as a dicey subject isn’t it!! I loved the being confident one the most!! You always worry about the right time to ask right and somehow there never seems to be a right time:) but being brave is the needed step in the right direction for sure!

Love,
Merin
http://meiasos.blogspot.co.uk

I’m grappling with this very thing at the moment. I’ve always completely chickened out or got emotional (too personal) when sitting in the room with my boss and then regretted even trying. I’ve set up a meeting on Friday, but I’m so nervous that I wont be able to see through the discussion without doubting myself or showing emotional attachment.

I found your pointers helpful, though, and am going to try some of them out on Friday. Especially love the “my family will die if I don’t do this.” #NERVES

This is really interesting! I work for a nonprofit, but we have standard times of year for raises. Every fall we have a performance review, and those performance reviews are used to dictate our raise. Raises are always capped at 4% unless you get a promotion or receive an additional increase to account for being paid below market value for your position. I’ve inquired with my HR director about it, and he uses three different websites (including salary.com) to come up with the market value of each employee on staff. Those who are below market value can receive more than a 4% raise, but the rest are capped.

I have asked for a raise twice. Once, after a performance review, I got my raise number back and was disappointed that I didn’t get a bigger increase. I had done my homework with the salary websites and wasn’t being paid market value. They ended up explaining that I was being paid slightly under market value, but they left “room for growth” in my salary. I wasn’t thrilled.

Six months later, I was offered a job that paid significantly more. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take it because I like my workplace, but I couldn’t ignore the salary factor. I approached my boss about it and was honest about the situation. I gave the company the chance to increase my salary if they wanted me to stay. Though they were unable to match the salary of the other company (and I knew they would be), they did give me a 15% raise that compelled me to stay put. In that case, it really helped that I had the leverage of another job offer.

I always tell myself that even if I don’t get the raise I asked for, having that conversation helps me to know where I stand at the company and helps inform my willingness to entertain other job offers. Sometimes it might not be what I want to hear, but that helps me to realize I should update my resume and pursue other employment. If you don’t have the conversation, you’re left wondering.

I absolutely love this, and I agree. The best way to think about asking if you are nervous is “what is the worst that could happen” and the answer of “they will say no” isn’t so scary.

I’m the head of a department at a medium sized tech company that has a great casual culture and the people are really really great. Being a mid-sized company compensation and salary review is always a really hard time as a boss because you don’t always get as much budgeted to you for raises as you want. I would love to give everyone who works hard on my team big pay bumps! But it is so important to have an open dialogue with your boss about your pay expectations — this helps them be a better manager to you, and if they can’t make the raise you want happen they at least know what you have in mind and can help work towards that in the future for you, or find other ways to compensate you for your efforts. I would so much rather know what my employees are looking for than have someone stewing away, or looking for another opportunity elsewhere, because they’re unhappy and didn’t even ask!

Men ask for raises all the time. And yes, they go to the personal. For example: I am having a new baby. My wife lost her job. I am the major bread winner. Their list is endless.

It comes down to culture and your relationship with your manager. A good manager will make efforts. A piss poor manager makes excuses.

As everyone else commented- this is perfect timing. I’m actually in a grant-funded position in a non-profit job that I adore. I moved across the country for the job (and my sweetheart) and took a substantial ($10,000/year) pay cut to take this job. I’m very happy to be doing what I do, and my employers have consistently been pleased with my work as I took on several ‘extra’ roles as well as the one I was hired on to do. I’ll be asking for a 25% pay increase as I start writing grants to fund my position for the next couple of years- but I believe it brings my salary in line with my position, my background (10+ years of experience + a masters in the field), and the fact that I’m filling more than one position at our site. This is really helpful to read even though I’d most likely be finding some/all of my own funding. I didn’t negotiate at the start, because geographically and professionally it was such a perfect fit…but I can’t keep working/living at my current pay scale.

I would add one tiny thing and say, know your worth. It kind of goes in with the confidence bit, but also the figuring out the numbers part. You obviously know how long you have been with the company, use that with the list of responsibilities that you have, along with the extra work you shoulder and come up with a number that you find reasonable for your raise. You will have the ‘supporting information’ for why you deserve the raise.

Choose a time to ask…Is all about the boss being approachable at the right time. Don’t make it about how you feel. Hide your nerves. Practice your opening and delivery. Hello etc. …then Clearly state you want a raise in a pleasant and confident tone, and then the sit down time to hear the reasons why you feel you’ve earned a salary or wage increase. It may be your boss already has one in the works or doesn’t need to discuss your work. And, know what the raise policy is, if any, before asking.

Voice inflection is also so important when asking for a raise–especially for women. Don’t make it sound like a question, as in “Maybe my salary could be…?” or “I was thinking…?” (You know how we ladies have a tendency to raise our voices an octave at the end of a sentence like we’re asking a question.) Make it a statement. Period. Don’t sound like you’re questioning the raise. And also, don’t sound apologetic about it!

This was great. I also love that “the boss” was referred to as a she. Thank you for empowering women in so many ways.

I recently asked for a raise and had the same concerns that your friend had about seeming entitled or greedy. I got some great advice beforehand that was crucial to my success. 1) Don’t say TOO much. Prepare a speech beforehand that states the value you’ve added and stick to the script. I heard from several managers that employees often ramble on and on when they’re requesting a raise and take too long to get the main point – more money! Plus having something eloquent rehearsed in my head kept me from being so nervous during the conversation. 2) If you aren’t making a lot of money to begin with, the standard 3-5% is just not going to make a major impact on your life. If you want to ask for more than this range, just state the number. My mentor gave me a great line to use for the end of my script. “Given these contributions, I respectfully ask that (company) raise my salary to (number).” I was asking for a $10k raise, which I felt was perfectly fair given my contributions and similar roles at other companies. So by stating my end goal, vs. the percentage, it didn’t seem like an excessive ask. This line also asks directly for what I want and does not use any language that qualifies the request, such as “I hope” or “I know it’s a lot to ask, but…”. After I was done with my prepared speech, my manager actually told me it was the most eloquent request for a raise she had ever received. AND I ended up getting what I asked for!!! I was so terrified to ask, but seeking advice from other professionals that I admired was so helpful. And I am SO glad I did! If I hadn’t, I would still be doing the same work, for way less money than I deserve. Trust me, if I can do it, you can too!

Great post, super helpful! Thanks for this.

such a great post. I like how one of the tips is to ask for vacation days instead of salary if salary is not an option. where I work (government agency), there are very specifically proscribed salary bands, and we were frozen for 7 years. but recently my co-worker and I were able to successfully negotiate a work-from-home day (after several years of trying) so that can also be an option for those who desire more flexibility if not salary. I’d love to see a post about this, including nationwide sources/resources advocating for flexibility in the workplace – I did have a hard time finding good info to back up the growing trend to help persuade the bosses.

Thank you for putting together a thoughtful post on this topic. As a woman who has worked several years in a corporate environment I have never felt confident to bring up this conversation with previous supervisors. I find the tips incredibly helpful and only wished I knew this information when starting out my career.
If there is one thing parents should do differently when raising young girls, is to prepare them for the work force equally as young boys. Young women need to know how to be financially independent and understand important business decisions. In my opinion the best way for women to receive equal pay for equal work is to have the same tools and knowledge to acquire it as their male counterparts.

“What if I told you that you could make $5,000 by having a 5 minute conversation? Then would you do it? Because that’s what it is.”

My husband’s motivating question (also to himself) when someone has to negotiate their salary, which also applies here (though the amount and time may be a bit different). :)

First of all, I love that you’re saying “she” when referring to the boss. I don’t know if it was intentional, but it’s awesome :)

I think of what’s going to happen AFTER the meeting too (or any situation that makes me nervous). I actually like to think about the situation from the distant future. Could be next week, could be next year.. The thing is getting that image of how I will feel when I say to myself “Hey, remember when you asked for that raise? Why was I so nervous??”. This helps me get things into perspective. After all, that meeting is going to take up 15, 30, 60 minutes of your WHOLE life. So insignificant!