How Often Do You Say “I Love You” to Your Loved Ones?

I say “I love you” all the time. To my family, to girlfriends, to my husband, and my dog.
My husband often asks me “Do you love me?” and I’m curious, Joanna, why you do that too? If you’re saying “I love you” to someone multiple times per day, then why be “needy” and ask the question? I’m just trying to figure out why he asks me this.

I say it so often I constantly remind my husband that I mean it & am not just saying it as matter of course. But alongside the words I have trained my kids to couple I Love You with hugs and kisses, and the other night without any prompting from me the three of them (5, 3, 21mo) had a joint hugging/kissing/I love you moment before bedtime! I was teary with pride. I am Cuban-American and come very an extremely affectionate family.(My husband is American with conservative Prostestant roots and I am happy to report that after 15 years of infecting them with my effortless shows of affection they finally hug and say I love you when saying goodbye in person!)

There is a line after which saying “I love you” loosing meaning. My husband and I say “I love you” every night after saying “good night”. That is a special moment for us to end the day with. Same ritual with the kids. It makes me cringe every time I hear people ending their phone conversation with “I love you” when it equals “Bye”. This is different from when you talk with your loved ones on the phone once in a while. In that case, again, it comes out as genuine and conveys the real thing.

My husband and I say it so often, I think it has kind of lost its initial power, in a way. But I think that would be inevitable, and it’s the moments that they show us how much they love us by their actions and choices that make my heart swell at least. :)
I plan on saying it to my future kids as much as possible, aka every 10 minutes :)

We also make it a habit to say I love you before we bring up a negative thing, such as “I love you, but sometimes you do this…” Just to confirm that they know no matter how they mess up, they’ll still be loved.

I’m from the US and I say it each and every time I hang up or part ways with one of my family members and even sometimes friends.

My husband and I saw it to each other multiple times a day.

My husband’s father did’t say I love to him as a child and it made my husband sad so I happened to mention it to my father in law once- and after that he gave my husband a big hug and told him he loved him. Several months later my father in law past away and that “I love you” was and still is very dear to my husbands heart.

You never know when the last time you’re going to speak to a loved one- so make sure you take the opportunity to tell them you love them every time you have a chance, you don’t want to have regrets!

my dad once dated a girl briefly that told him her father never once said he loved her. my dad was completely appalled by that. he made a vow to tell his children he loved them every single day. my dad has four daughters and was a rockstar at telling me he loved me every. single. day. growing up. he would always ask “lauren, have i told you today that i loved you?” no matter what my answer was, he would always say he loved me. i tell my husband i love him multiple times a day! and i always end phone conversations with my family by saying i love you.

My parents are both CCKs (Crazy Christian Koreans) and I cannot tell you how many times they will say “Jesus Loves you ” to me. How many times have they said I love you? Probably under 10- lions share probably when I was an infant, when I graduated from high school, college graduation and my wedding day.

I am a Brazilian, down here we say TE AMO (which means I Love You in portuguese) very often, specially with my mum and my 2 sisters, they both live in Canada and I believe missing them makes me say i love you to them more often, basically every time we talk to each other or write each other.
However, because in Brazil male chauvinism is very strong, usually men are not very good at saying i love you very often, it’s getting better but there is still a long way to go. xoxo

My husband is Chinese and his parents and him NEVER say “i love you” to each other. Meanwhile my midwestern family says it every 5 seconds and they say it to Jon who has grown to love the warm embrace it makes him feel. I would love to tell my inlaws that I love them bc luckily enough I do…but it seems that maybe it wouldn’t be well received.

In my family, we don’t say ‘I love you’ regularly. We really only say it when one part or the other of us is going on a trip. By extension, my husband and I are the same way. If one of us is traveling without the other, then we say I love you. I think we just always figure that the other person knows I love them. Otherwise, I wouldn’t spend so much time together. We are American and sailed over shortly after the Mayflower, so I think it is more about upbringing than culture.

Yesterday we said it a a hundred million times , just because we are so in love right now.

In our family, we didn’t grow up saying “I Love you” all the time. We actually feel quite sheepish when we say it (like to my brother who I have to admit, I’m not close to). But my husband and I say it all the time to each other. I’ll probably bring up my kids (when I have them) saying it to us too.

My husband and I say it several times a day. It’s wonderful! My previous partner would only say it on special occasions. So I can say from experience that hearing it all the time is so much better and more loving than hearing it twice a year.

I am Chinese and grew up mostly in China but live in California now. My mom’s side of the family is more verbally affectionate, so my mom and grandpa say “wo ai ni” (i love you in Mandarin Chinese) pretty often – not on a daily basis though, more on days when I’m feeling down, and with my grandpa, after each time I call him. :) I’ve never heard my dad said i love you even though i know he adores me. He’d make fun of us if he heard me and my mom say that to each other, too. Silly guy lol. I also say i love you with all my Chinese-American/Chinese-Canadian family, and they always say it back.

My husband, who is also Chinese, finds it REALLY REALLY HARD to say i love you out loud. He’s never said it to his family or anyone he dated before me. I’m still trying to get him to say it back, so far I’ve only succeeded once… He actually said “I love you too” one time when he was drunk, HA!

Great article. I say it a million times a day. You got to. :) My 18 month old little boy, Max just started answering me with squeals (not words) just little squeals so, I’ll say “I love you, do you love momma?” And sure enough I get a little happy squeal :) Makes me feel so good every time.

I’m Brazilian and I say it to my English husband every day. He always says it back – it wasn’t so at the beginning of our relationship. Can’t be overused. Who doesn’t want to go back in time and say it to someone they lost?

At least 1 time per hour!And I ask a lot too!!(I’m Greek)

I don’t say “I love you” very often to my family. I believe that in the Netherlands it’s just normal that way. We know that we love each other, so we don’t have to say it.
But I do say it a LOT to my boyfriend, and I also have this bad habit of asking him ‘Do you love me?’.

Im Chinese and I was born in the US. I consider myself to be affectionate in my relationships, but I surely didnt learn that from my parents. I have never heard anyone in my family say “i love you” to another person. I think in Chinese culture, its more about showing your love rather than saying it. Ive never said it to my parents and they have never said it to me.

I say it every time I say goodbye to my parents or my brother. I don’t think there’s such a thing as saying it too often! Spread the love!

My family is English – my Mum’s side is definitely not into saying ‘I love you’, but my Dad’s side is. I am very much into it, but my husband and girls… not so much.

Now I’ve worked out why – in my immediate family we’ve all done the questionnaires in the books ‘The 5 Love Languages’ and ‘The 5 Love Languages for Teenagers’, and it works out that ‘words of affirmation’ and ‘physical touch’ are the ways that I feel loved, whereas ‘acts of service’, ‘quality time’ and ‘receiving gifts’ are the biggies for my husband and girls. So while culture can be a factor, I really think it depends on the person.

I highly recommend reading those books, by the way! They’ve helped us realise how we can best show love to others (I’m getting more ‘I love you, Mum’ comments and hugs than before, because the girls now know how important it is for me!)

To my husband: all the time, several times a day (although, he has always been MORE apt to say it first — even though I said it to HIM for the very very first time).

To my parents: very rarely. It feels almost like it belongs at the end of a phone call or something, but it would be SO awkward to do it out of no where. Even with my mom, who I’m very close with! I’d say it and I bet she’d respond with “ooookay. Bye”

but strangely, to my in-laws: every time we hang up the phone or part ways, even if we’re at their house and we’re going to bed. And my husband wont NOT say it, even if they forget or something… i’ll be going to hang up the phone and he’ll be like “l-lov… LOVE YOUUUU!”

I am a Chinese-born-Canadian with parents who immigrated to Canada when they were in their mid to late 20s.

The funny thing is I can totally relate to the comments that opened your article. I’ll go up to my mom sometimes on random days I feel pangs of nostalgia and hug her and say “I love you” (albeit awkwardly) and she won’t hug me back but put a puzzled expression on her face and say “…what’s wrong?”

I never say “I love you” to my father, nor to my sister who I am relatively close with. It’s almost an unspoken understanding that “Obviously I love you, I feed you and encourage you and support you”. But there is definitely the “weakness” associated with it too.

On the other hand, I have no problem saying it, in terms of comfort, to my significant other or to my friends and other family (like cousins). I say it to my really close female cousin every time we talk.

I do feel like saying it too often cheapens it. I make sure I really feel the love welling up inside me before I have to blurt out that I love someone (which is quite often anyway). Just saying it as a passing comment or a quick goodbye is not something I do.

very interesting! We say I love you a ton in my family (we’re Nicaraguan). But my grandma who lived with us our whole lives never said I love you and was not affectionate AT ALL! She did, however, show her love in a big way in other ways so we never had doubts. :) She’s my mom’s mom, and I think my mom probably became more affectionate over the years through being with my dad, who is also Nicaraguan and very affectionate. :) My husband and I say it at least once a day, and we say it with his family every time we talk. We have lots of love to give!

I say it all the time, such a habit. But, I do truly mean it!
I am from MN.

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I’m a Chinese-born Indonesian.. and this is one of those things that make the great divide in the Western and Eastern cultures. It’s just weird to say ‘I love you’ on a day-to-day basis. I don’t think I’ve ever said it to any one of my family members except on paper, like in a greeting card or in a text message.

I attended college in the States and a couple of times, this has came into the topic with my friends from other parts of Asia. Most of them find it quite odd as well …

I don’t know why exactly and I don’t think anybody really knows, but I feel that we fear what we will sound like. It’s almost as if we’re saying it because we want something.. In Mandarin Chinese, “wo ai ni” is often referred to the romantic partners instead of familial relationships or friends, even though like in English it can be just for anyone.

Still can’t figure out why :/

I am from Taiwan, and my parents have never told me they loved me, although it’s expressed in a myriad of other ways everyday. It’s just way too strong to express verbally! Even to my siblings the words don’t come easy… it’s just not in our family culture. I have no problem saying I love you to my boyfriend, though.

I am American and I say I love you several times a day…even to my dog! I also use it informally. A stranger helped me get my car out of a snowbank yesterday and I said, “Ah, I love you! You made my day” In fact, now that you mention it…I probably say “I love you” every single time I end a conversation with my family, close girlfriends and my boyfriend. If I didn’t say it/hear it, I would think something was wrong and vice versa!

I say it many times a day to my husband. I say it to my dad every time I get off the phone. I didn’t do it as much when I was younger. However, when my Ex-husband’s mother died suddenly and the last time he had a chance to talk to her.. he wouldn’t get on the phone because he was too busy (the day she died)… I was reminded that you never know when the last time you speak to someone will be.. make sure they know you care!

In German, you would only say “I love you” (ich liebe dich) to a very serious romantic partner. It is totally weird to say that to anyone else, but you can tell them that you have love for them (ich hab’ dich Lieb). You also wouldn’t say things like “I love burritos” – love itself is reserved for the very serious emotion, everything else you like, or it pleases you (moegen, sich gefallen, etwas gernhaben). I know nothing about China or Chinese, but perhaps it’s also a linguistic convention.

Growing up in Kansas (Heinz 57 mutt of Dutch, English, Swedish, Norwegian, Native American, French, etc), my family wasn’t much on saying “I love you”. I moved to NYC for work in ’96 and talked to my parents every week, but we still didn’t say it much. Then in 2001, following 9-11 and a surgery that I had 2 weeks later, it just happened, we started saying “I love you” at the end of every conversation. Reflecting now, I think it was the sudden realization of how fleeting life can be and how important it is that they know how you feel.