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Will You Cry At Your Wedding? (Did You?)

Before we got married, Alex told me something that made my jaw drop…

One evening, we were chatting about whether we thought we’d cry during our wedding ceremony, and Alex admitted that he hadn’t cried since he was ten years old. “Guys are taught to hold in tears,” he explained. “As a little kid, you don’t want to be labeled a cry baby by your friends. I quickly learned to be stoic.” And that lesson stuck: He hasn’t shed a single tear since then, even when his father died.

I couldn’t believe it. (I would be embarrassed to know how many times I’ve cried since I was ten.)

So, when our wedding day arrived, I wasn’t surprised that Alex stayed lovely and strong through his wedding vows, and I broke down while saying mine. It was such an intense and moving moment, and I couldn’t make it through the words without my voice cracking. (In fact, every makeup artist I know says their #1 beauty tip for brides is to wear waterproof mascara!)

More weepy brides…

Weepy grooms…

And don’t forget the dads! :)

What about you? Who is more likely to cry at your wedding: you or your partner? Or do you think you’ll both be equally dry-eyed or weepy? If you’re already married, how did it go down? I’m so curious!

P.S. 10 funny wedding moments.

(Photos by Max Wanger (including ours), Dixie Pixel, Kelly Benvenuto, Jessie Holland, Lynn Michelle; Brandon Kidd and Ventola Photography, via Green Wedding Shoes, Belle Rempert via Ruffled; and James Moes, and photos, cropped, by Audrey Hannah and Sarah Maren, via Ruffled)

  1. Love that there were handkerchiefs at the wedding. An elegant way to wipe those happy tears – a personalized wedding handkerchief is a must have for your wedding day.

  2. I never imagined I would cry at my wedding but when my husband started saying his vows I could feel it coming. I was playing with his tie as he spoke to try and distract myself, but then when it was my turn I just started bawling and could only get out one word at a time. I kept looking at the reverend and saying “I’m so sorry I didn’t know I would cry!”

    Luckily we were in Vegas just us two so no one else got to witness that. Although I’m sure it would have made a pretty memorable photo.

  3. At my little sister’s wedding, exactly a year after my grandmother passed away, my 82-year-old, usually stoic grandfather was sobbing uncontrollably because my sister looked just like my grandmother walking down the aisle on her wedding day. So that sent that whole family section into tears. As an ugly crier, I’m glad I didn’t hear about that until later.

    What always gets me without fail is anything involving the father of the bride. As soon as the DJ just announces that the father will be coming up shortly to speak, I’m already wiping away a tear. When the father-daughter dance has barely started…bingo, already a mess! I’m very nervous in front of crowds so I’m sure the adrenaline will make me tear-free. But the more intimate times, like during the rehearsal or when my dad first sees me in my gown, I’ll surely cry. I agree with the others about crying at everyone else’s wedding, including those I don’t know. And then my boyfriend looks at me like, “Why are you crying? You barely know them.” Ha!

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  5. This just made me feel so much better about crying as I walked down the aisle! My friends always bring up how I was so emotional at my wedding. The truth is, according to the doctors, my father wasn’t supposed to live and the fact that he was able to walk me down the aisle with my mom made me unbelievably emotional! Also, my husband began crying when his parents walked down the aisle because his mother too, according to her doctors, was not supposed to live due to her cancer. Since our wedding both his mom and my dad have passed, and I now cherish how dreadful I looked walking down the aisle because I know that he was able to watch his “little girl” get married and my mother-in-law was able to see her “baby” get married. Tears of joy are sometimes, as I learned that day, completely uncontrollable.

  6. I photograph weddings for a living and see all these precious moments all the time and have cried at exactly one wedding that I shot. When the bride’s daughter spoke to the groom during the ceremony and said, “I just can’t wait for you to kiss my mom because then we’ll be a family!”. Personally having a stepdad who’s more my dad than my biological father, that did me in. I really didn’t know if I would or wouldn’t cry at my wedding — and I didn’t when I first saw my husband before the ceremony, or during all the pictures we took. But when the music changed and I came down the aisle and all of our people turned around and stood up, well, I was a goner. While we didn’t sob, neither my husband or I totally regained control until after the ceremony. After the ceremony I pulled off my veil so I could finally properly wipe my nose, turned around to my husband and said, well, I guess I’m a crier!

  7. I was OK until my dad said “You ready?” as we were waiting to walk down the aisle. Once I got past that Everest-sized lump in my throat, the rest was easy.

  8. For being the biggest cry baby ever, I’m proud that I held it together for 99% of the day. We had a first look which took away the nerves of walking down the aisle and gave us our private moment before the craziness of the wedding and the rest of the day ensued. Even then, neither one of us cried. I can only speak for myself but for me, the whole first look and ceremony felt like Christmas morning. That excitement and happiness consumed me. I just kept thinking “Oh my gosh! I’m so excited! I can’t wait! EEK!” The only time I got weepy was during our first dance. Weird!
    As for the groom, he didn’t shed a tear but the smile he had on his face throughout the first look and ceremony was priceless. :)

  9. I was a total mess from the moment I walked down the aisle through most of the ceremony and DEFINITELY through my vows. My husband didn’t cry at all. He wanted to stay strong for me because if I saw him cry I’d probably start sobbing. It was a day full of happy emotions, but let me tell you, picture wise I wish I could’ve held it together a little better. I’m not the prettiest of criers. Womp womp.

  10. I was welling up walking down the “aisle” and shed a tear or two during the ceremony (which of course the photographers captured) and the video of the vows I’m using this weird low voice because I’m trying not to cry. Husband was fine through the ceremony but got abit weepy during the speeches, I was fine by then so it was adorable and a wee bit funny :)

  11. Oh my gosh, seeing those photos of grooms and dads crying made ME produce a tear!

  12. I started to cry walking down the asile, and kept going off and on all night! LOL My hubby’s voice cracked saying the vows. My mom teared up just a bit. My dad cried almost as much as me, same with my mom-in-law who swore she wouldn’t at all. My dad-in-law just looked crazy proud. All good, amazing night.

  13. I cry at EVERY wedding I attend. As soon as the groom walks out: boom, I’m done for. But my own wedding, I was smiling like a complete idiot the whole time!

  14. I LOVE that you had a handkerchief. It makes your photo look almost vintage and certainly elegant, and you looked moved like, I don’t know, a “lady”, rather than a weepy girl! Definitely stealing that for my wedding.

    And as for whether I’ll cry? Most likely. I cry every time I watch a particularly sweet engagement video, so I mean, there’s no hope for me. If it’s around a certain time of my cycle, I’ll probably cry the whole freakin’ day. I wonder if I can schedule it out accordingly……… It’d be cute to cry if your nose didn’t take after an old boozehound’s when you did!

    Cheryl
    http://thestylistquo.com

  15. Ummm… My eyes started watering just looking at these pictures! I’m doomed for my wedding!!!

  16. I’m not married but living together with my partner. I teared up looking at the pictures you posted. So I guess I would cry at my wedding. :-)

  17. I cried at my sisters wedding. My brother in law cried. My sister did not haha

  18. Natty S says...

    Lovely pictures! I was SOOO happy at my wedding that I kept smiling all the time. :)

  19. I’m a huge cryer in private (meaning, absolutely by myself), but not in public. I cry at everything (commercials, emotional interviews, you name it) so I try not to let it get out of control, haha! The only time I cried on our wedding day was immediately after the ceremony. We filed into the back of the venue and my husband’s dad broke down, so I did, and then just laughed until it wore off! So funny. The “ugly cry” didn’t show up!

    Kristina
    Nook & Sea

  20. I’m a total mush at every wedding (and always) and thought I would cry through the whole ceremony. I did cry, down the aisle, and a little during vows, but what surprised me is I got the giggles. As soon as I reached my husband at the front of the church I started giggling, a little hysterically, and couldn’t stop. As the pastor started speaking I had to talk myself off the ledge lest I laugh through the entire ceremony. I shouldn’t have been surprised, I laughed through our entire proposal as well. It’s such an emotional time, hard to tell how people will react.

  21. My sister-in-law got married this weekend. Her dad (my father-in-law) is a crier. He cried at the mention of a wedding when his oldest son got engaged, he cries while singing to his grandchildren, he cried while reading ‘The Christmas Shoes’!!!
    He did not shed a tear at the wedding. I think it might be because he’d already cried them all out in the weeks leading up. His mantra was ‘I am a rock’ all weekend. He held it together – without lacking any show of emotion at all.
    Oh, and he officiated the wedding to boot!!

  22. I was keeping it together until my now husband got the quiver lip and then started crying. I had never seen him cry before so it was such a special moment! Of course it made me completely lose it!

  23. I held up well during our wedding and so did my husband, but looking at these photos.. sniffffff

  24. If I ever get married I’m thinking there will be crying.

  25. Kate says...

    I cry at almost EVERYTHING – commercials, movies, songs, the In Memoriam segment of the Oscars. I was sure I’d be a mess, but I must have just felt calm and happy when we said our vows. The closest I came to crying was before my mom and dad walked me down the aisle, I took a deep breath and turned to them and said, “Thank you for everything. I love you.” and my voice broke and I thought I was a goner, but somehow seeing all those smiling faces of friends and family, and the beaming face of my husband, put me at ease.

  26. Anonymous says...

    I am married for 2 and half years. We both cried in our weeding… it was so magic.

  27. That last photo almost got me… I am a huge crier and would what to guess that when I get married down the road from now I will most likely cry and more than once. What really gets me is seeing “stoic” men cry. My boyfriend is by no means a crier and neither is my dad but there have only been one or two occasions that I’ve seen it happen or almost happen and even just thinking about it has me tearing up because it is just so moving and incredible to realize that this one moment has moved the most immovable people to tear

  28. my weepy husband:))) he cried while my sisters sang. it was precious:)

  29. We both cried! Husband cried more. Love him.

  30. oh yes!absolutely!I am still not married but even if i think at that moment, picturing my Amore waiting for me…oh gosh, i am crying so much. And i did cry to all my friends’ weddings.

  31. I started bawling as soon as I started walking down the aisle and didn’t stop. I look like a plucked chicken in all our photos. Got all misty just looking at these photos!

  32. This is such a good post. My husband knew I was going to cry at our wedding. So before the ceremony started, he handed his best man a hanky. When it was my turn to do say our vows, my husband saw my face, turned around to his best man, and his best man and gave him the hanky.

    Everyone laughed because my husband was ready for the hanky. I laughed too and I loved it.

  33. I just cried reading this. Would definitely cry at mine!

  34. I’m getting married in October and I’m pretty sure I will cry. But I bet my fiancé won’t. He just doesn’t cry.

  35. I am not sure if I will cry or not. I am an extremely emotional person (teared up looking at those pics!) but can oftentimes somehow manage to keep it together in front of other people. I am interested to see how my fiancé reacts. Can’t wait to exchange vows with him this year :)

  36. My lovely Alaskan cousin (by marriage) Scotty cried when married my cousin Madeleine. Loved it. We all laughed massively at him later on during dances :)

  37. My brother and brother-in-law cried at my sister’s wedding. She didn’t shed a tear.

    I think I’ve always tried to hide my crying as well because I was embarrassed by it, but I don’t think it’s healthy, so lately I’ve tried to get more in touch with my emotions and to let them go their natural course.

    That being said, I don’t know if I’ll cry at my wedding some day.

  38. I cry at everything – commercials, ball games, you name it – so I was sure I would cry at my wedding, especially walking down the aisle. But alas, there were no tears! Just millions of smiles…

  39. I didn’t think i would cry, but as soon as I walked down that aisle with my dad I could feel it coming on. I couldn’t even look at my husband to be during the ceremony because I was going to cry and I kept looking at the friend marrying us because it kept me from crying, but he thought there was something wrong.. oops.

  40. I’m tearing up just reading this post. But nothing makes me cry like seeing grown men with tears in their eyes. Especially the ones in uniform!!! I will definitely be a mess when I get married. My favorite thing at a wedding is when the groom gets misty-eyed. I think it’s so romantic. I hope that happens for me!

  41. I just got married last week and I cried from the moment we stood facing each other until I got through my vows. He welled up a bit, during my vows and his own. It was so beautiful. I held a card and being able to look down at it helped me gather my strength to stop whimpering. It’s okay though, we both know I’m a huge crier, so no biggie. It was just us in a private ceremony with our daughter as flower girl/ring bearer. I think it’s nice to see the photos of weepy brides and families. It’s touching and real and loving. Although, in my photos I will have droopy fake eyelashes and a red nose.

  42. I love all these comments! I thought I might cry, but I was so happy and excited that I didn’t really think to. The part I was most worried about was the father/daughter dance. So I chose an upbeat song to dance to so we wouldn’t be blubbering. :)

  43. Batsheva says...

    im not such a cryer, so i didnt know what to expect of myself.
    at jewish orthodox weddings, before the ceremony “chuppah” there is something called “badeken” where the groom comes to cover the bride’s face with a veil. its an extrmeley emotional event, because the bride and groom have not seen each for an entire week!! its also the time where the two fathers bless the bride.
    its all very emotional and chilling, and i definitley cried, as did my parents…my groom…not so much…
    its also the time where i would get emotional and cry at my siblings and friends weddings. its the best part of the wedding!!

  44. i cry if the wind blows the wrong way – so yes, i fully expect to be balling. not to mention i’ll be walking down the aisle by myself, so that in and of itself is something i need to prepare myself for. as for the fiance…great q to bring up tonight during date night :)

    a peek of chic

  45. I cried more with with my parents than I did during the ceremony- I was too much in a daze. This post made me well up, such great pictures!

  46. i love the crying grooms! my best friend’s husband cried like a baby at their wedding, which made everyone else start crying too. im sure ill cry at mine since i cry at everything but my partner has also not cried since he was very very young. i can’t imagine!

  47. fitz says...

    i cry watching weddings so i thought i was prolly going to bawl at my own weddin so on the actual day i actually distracted myself from thinking about what’s going on around me and even from what my husband was saying just so i won’t cry. well, i didn’t but my husband did and it was just so sweet that until now i regretted not focusing on him and us and the moment and to just let the tears flow.

  48. i tried so hard to hold in my tears (i knew once they started i wouldn’t be able to stop them) throughout our ceremony. my dad burst into tears right before we walked down the isle while him, my sister and i were waiting in the tent. my husband got teary eyed during the ceremony and his dad was bawling during the whole thing pretty much…i guess we have some pretty sensitive men in our families. :)

    once the reception came, my best friends dad came over to congratulate me with a big hug and to tell me that he missed seeing us down the street everyday (they had just moved halfway across the country) and i lost it. i couldn’t hold it in any longer, haha. he felt bad that he was the one that made the bride cry though. ;)

    -Tina

  49. THIS post made me weepy. It’s a good thing I’m not getting married – I’d be a wreck.

  50. pws says...

    We both cried, which I wasn’t expecting! Well, I was expecting I would probably cry at some point, but throughout our engagement, we joked about how he would burst into tears when he saw how amazing I looked (of course expecting the complete opposite b/c he is NOT that guy…) but lo and behold, on our wedding day, he cried as he saw me come down the aisle :). I cried when we finally entered the ceremony room to start going down the aisle…seeing ALL of our friends and family and him…the emotion was completely overwhelming!

  51. id like to hope that when the time comes, my bf will cry at our wedding but i will be ok if he doesnt. i can count the times i have seen him cry and they all have been so important- when his father died, when i moved across the country, when he finished his first marathon. i like to think that when he is ready to pop the question, he will have that kind of emotion built up. if not, i will be doing enough crying for the both of us.

  52. Laura says...

    At my sister’s wedding, where I was the maid of honor, I cried from the moment she walked down the aisle until the end of the reception. You could see tracks down my face where the tears had washed away the makeup! I also sweat a lot when I get emotional, which is really cute. So, if that’s any indication, I’ll probably be a snotty sweaty crying mess when I get married.

  53. We BOTH cried when we first saw each other…and so did everyone else.
    I cried (along with all the guests) when my husband and I cut the cake and he said a few words.
    I cried at my maid of honor’s speech.

    Happiest tears of my life.

  54. Beautiful post Jo, we’ve been married 15 years, I remember holding my dads arm, tears streaming and freaking out about my make up. I pretty much bawled from the car to the church, then took a minute to compose myself, by the time I got to my handsome groom, I was all good! He was fine, we didnt do vowels we simply went with the I do’s, mind you vowels were’nt so common back then in N.Z…

  55. All of these pictures put tears in my eyes! I’m such a cry baby that I have cried at every wedding I’ve ever been to. I even cry at weddings on TV when I don’t even know the couple!

  56. My boyfriend said he is determined to make me tear up with his amazing vows he plans to write. I’ve got no chance!

    tearstainedbysg.blogspot.com

  57. We always joke that he’ll bawl like a baby and I’ll be the strong silent type but I know if I saw him so emotional I’d probably show a little.

    I think it’s beautiful to see men so full of emotion on their wedding day, we always get a bad wrap for being the more emotional sex but I think weddings and babies bring it out of them, if only for a little while.

    C x

  58. This is so sweet. Guess who’s crying now?

  59. Sally Cage says...

    I cried a lot at my wedding, and so did my husband!!

    I wasn’t expecting him to cry too, but when my Dad walked me up to Matt I saw that he had clearly been crying already…and the two of us proceeded to weep gently throughout the whole thing!

    Many more happy tears to come during dinner/speeches.

    Too cute :)

  60. This is such a beautiful post! I’m not one to cry usually, but I guess I’ll have to wait and see :)

  61. I didn’t cry and neither did my husband. I was trying so hard to focus and pay very close attention to the moment, but I kept getting distracted by my veil. It had fallen in a couple triangular folds across my eyes, and I couldn’t help but wonder which eye I should use to look at him!

    A friend who’d witnessed the rehearsal and the ceremony said that I’d recited my vows very assertively in practice, but said them much softer and sweeter in the ceremony. :-)

    Right after our ceremony, we took just a few minutes alone and it was at that moment that we were both laughing and crying. It was a very sweet moment.

  62. I battle to watch sad/weepy movies because if I start crying, I won’t stop until I go to bed that night. Oddly enough on my wedding day I cried only twice though (and was able to stop continuing the entire day!). The first time was after getting ready with my mom and bridesmaids, walking down the stairs I looked in the mirror to see my complete outfit with the veil etc. I hadn’t seen my full dress before because I had designed and done the pattern etc and the seamstress who made it up didn’t have a mirror bigger than a piece of paper. Only in that moment did I realize that I was getting married! Took a moment alone to calm down :) the second time I cried was during my Dad’s speech. He has become quite well known for his speech writing skills with our family and friends so I knew his speech would be amazing but I had no clue that it would bring all the women and most of the men to tears too! The rest of the day my husband and I had stupid ‘ear to ear’ grins.

    Pics from the day :)
    http://tinkphotography.blogspot.com/2009/02/hulley-wedding.html

  63. I think I would have a few happy tears, but I will try the hardest to hold them in (for the pictures?) Sounds like writing down your vows before hand is a good idea to keep yourself together!

  64. Don”t forget Prince Frederik of Denmark crying when he saw his bride Mary enter the church :)http://img54.imageshack.us/img54/5863/kronprisenflderen83456a0my.jpg

    BTW i cried after my wedding when i saw my Nanny in the crowd and my hubby cried before when he saw his sister

  65. Charissa says...

    both my husband and i cried! we blame the violins which were playing during the church service – they give such a moanful sound :P but living in an asian country, many people don’t understand why brides cry at their wedding and a relative actually came up to me after the service and said “Why did you cry ah? Is it because you don’t want to leave your parents?” ????!!!!!! i can remember it so clearly… it’s been 5 years..

  66. Jo, you pick the best subjects!

    Soon to elope, I know I will cry and maybe even the Groom-to-be. He’s quite sensitive. I cry listening to classical music, chick-flicks, books with characters that die, news items involving children, other people’s weddings, kids birthdays… it’s silly, but inevitable.

  67. Oh gosh, no way – I can’t really cry in front of others, and definitely not in front of 200 others. I think I laughed at my husband’s happy-face, though.

  68. aw, Jo! 318 posts already, I’m sure you won’t see mine … but here goes, anyway. I cried. When we hit the “forsaking all others” point, I totally cracked and started to cry. I’d fallen in love with my husband on the same weekend that I met him. I’d been madly in love with him for 2.5 years before he decided he might like me and we moved in together (no dating for us – we had planned to be roommates, then the whole romantic thing happened and we just moved in together – suffice to say, it all worked out!). So, I’d been in love with him for something like 12 years when we finally decided the time had come to marry. I was so incredibly happy – and that line, “forsaking all others” seemed like such a joke. He’d been my life since I was 18 years old =) awwww

  69. I think I got all my tears out before the wedding ceremony. We did a first look and wrote each other letters so I cried a lot then. I was so excited for the actual wedding, but I almost walking down the aisle… so I started to laugh to fight the tears back!

  70. I cried walking down the aisle, mostly because I was expecting one of our mutual friends to be playing and singing the song I was walking to, and had just realized it was my husband’s voice I was hearing instead. Such a sweet surprise! He almost cracked as the friend marrying us mentioned my mother-in-law, who passed away a couple years before. I also turned to see nearly all of our guests teary-eyed. Our ceremony was so beautiful and touching!

  71. I actually cried up until the point of walking down the aisle. When the doors opened, my eyes were dry and I was all smiles.

  72. I hate that guys can’t express themselves without being labeled a cry baby. I didn’t cry at my wedding, but I have an emotional pic of my sweet hubby as I walked down the aisle

  73. My wedding is in June and I begin to cry just thinking about it! I can’t imagine what I will be like when the day finally comes! I am already so overwhelmed with happiness and emotion! I think my fiance will get a little watery but won’t full on cry.

  74. I will cry, I know it. This year I had to hold back tears when my brother brought me a birthday cake.

  75. I was so surprised at our wedding – I was just so happy and smiley I couldn’t cry (totally thought I would) but my husband got choked up saying his vows – one of my favorite memories from the wedding, he never cries so it was so sweet.

  76. Of the relationship between me and my husband, I am NOT the emotional one. In fact, we are quite the anomaly. But on our wedding day, I cried like a baby walking down the aisle with my father, who was also crying. Sidenote, I had not seen my dad cry in YEARS. It’s funny what little tidbits wedding days hold;)

  77. I didn’t cry at my wedding and neither did my husband. I felt happy and chill but now that I’ve read some comments I’m thinking what weirdos we are for not crying!!

  78. Well, I am a long way off from getting married, but seeing as how I got a little teary-eyed just looking at those weepy groom pictures, I think we all know how it’ll eventually go down. :’)

  79. I really thought I was going to be a soggy, teary mess but it turns out that nothing could wipe the joyful smile off my face! My husband on the other hand was misty eyed many times that day…so sweet! <3

  80. I’m sure I will cry. I was a little teary as my sister’s maid of honour! I’m not sure if my partner will cry, I have seen him cry twice before though, the last time being at our son’s birth three years ago. My dad is a pretty stoic guy, but was definitely fighting back tears when he walked my sister down the aisle. If I was in her shoes I would have lost it then!

  81. I’m getting married next weekend and my fiance and I are already prepared that we will both be crying… I am so excited to marry this man and our vows are so meaningful to us…

  82. I got choked up, I’m so glad I didn’t cry!
    I’m such an ugly crier. :)

  83. i cry just thinking about my summer wedding! i know when it actually happens ill be so happy and there will be LOTS of tears.

  84. I had never seen my husband cry before our wedding day. He cried as I walked down the aisle which made me cry. If you asked him today if he cried at the wedding, he denies it but everyone there was witness! Our flower girl wrote in her journal at school the following Monday after our wedding, “My uncle cried and so did his wife”. I thought it was so sweet that of all the day’s events, she focused on that.