How Big Can Your Wedding Kiss Be?

Before Alex and I got hitched, I wondered if our wedding kiss should be big or small. In the end, swept up by the emotion of the day, we just went for it! And it felt awesome!

Would you do a big kiss? Or keep it small and grandparent-friendly? If you’re married, what was your kiss like? Here’s some lovely wedding-kiss inspiration…

P.S. A Swedish island wedding, and two rad City Hall weddings

(Photos by Max Wanger, Jess + Nate, Our Labor of Love, Mikael Olsson, James Mountford, Lauren Ross, Bayly & Moore, Anastasia Volkova, Olivia Leigh Weddings, Kyle Hale and Boutwell Studio)

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  5. It doesn’t matter how big, wide or long kiss on the wedding day as long as there is sincerity and gentleness. Thanks for sharing those photos!

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  7. thanks for this post. honestly i’d never thought too much about our kiss (what to do or what we actually did), and i had a great time going back through the photos and realizing how in love we look! thanks again :)

  8. I was so surprised/overjoyed by my wedding kiss. My husband is usually a pretty reserved person, but he totally went for it by grabbing me and pulling me in close. I was so surprised I started laughing. The photographer got two really great pictures of the whole thing. It was perfect.

  9. Anonymous says...

    Nicely saying it would be great to see a photo of a gay couple included!

  10. Anonymous says...

    We had a nice big kiss with soft mouths and hands on face. However, we went to a wedding last year where there was definite tongue action visible between mouths. It was repulsive.

  11. Whatever comes naturally is the best; if you’re big kissers already, than go for the big kiss! I don’t know if this FB link will work, but this is my cousin’s kiss from a few years ago…best wedding kiss ever!

    If you want to see a picture of my sweet and charming kiss, you can go here. =)

    Shannon <><

  12. Like I always say, go big or go home. :)

  13. As I am planning my own wedding, I have often though of this question as well. Now that my fiance and I are thinking of going to Hawaii to be married, just the two of us, I think it will be less nerve-racking to kiss. I am looking forward to the spontaneous kiss we do share along a beach somewhere in paradise. :)

  14. My husband and I never practiced or talked about the wedding day kiss beforehand. I say let the moment take you and see what feels right, then just go for it.

  15. It’s an interesting topic and I’ve had my share of conversations (with friends, not personally) on this exact subject. I think it really depends the couple. All in all, when the moment happens it instantly brings out each personality and makes them one.

    This is the perfect example!
    (11th photo down:)

  16. Wow do people actually consider their wedding kisses? Thats so funny- just something I never thought required much thought! Personally I am in the ‘don’t-discuss-beforehand-therefore-keeping-it-natural’ camp. As long as it doesn’t end up awkward its Ok! Those wedding pictures are so cute! I so love the lace trimmed veils- totally on my list if I ever end up getting married.

  17. OOOOOOOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….not another thing to think about!!!

    I have 5 months until I am in this very position. I have no clue if we’ll go for it or not. I kinda want to say we’ll be in-between’y! Is that good or lame? hahaha.

    I’m excited though!!

    Louise xo

  18. Ha, I have actually always wondered this! I think for my wedding I will do an ‘in the middle kiss’ – not too big but not too small! x

    Kate {Something Fabulous}

  19. Ha, to tongue or not to tongue, that is the question!?!?When it came time for our nuptual snog, I got all shy about my grandpa watching, so I was a little nervous about THE TONGUE…..but then it is your wedding kiss after all so really one may as well give it their all.
    It’s a beautiful memory of a gorgeous day……..

  20. This post made me smile!! I am a wedding photographer in San Diego California and I love more than anything to see the lovely couples first kiss! It brings me to tears every time.. No matter how big or small…

  21. Haha, I love this question! My little sister got married several years before my husband and I, and everyone gasped at how long, passionate and dramatic their kiss was. After that we knew that if we went for something more dramatic, well, it might be obscene! We opted for something unrehearsed, casual, and natural, which in the end suits us. We had a gospel choir who sang as we walked out, and to me that’s the more memorable moment, beaming as we walked down the aisle hand in hand!

  22. I think we had a “medium-big” smooch. My husband was pretty nervous and I just couldn’t stop grinning, so I think I held HIM in for a longer kiss! I think there were a few chuckles in the congregation, so I guess it was more than a peck, but I wouldn’t have wanted to make anyone uncomfortable either, you know? Cute post, Joanna : )

  23. I followed the “church tongue” advice from The Wedding Singer ;)

  24. my husband and i had both been at weddings where the kiss was either 1. way too over the top and 2. completely boring. ours ended up being very middle of the road with a twist- we got married on christmas eve, so his best man raised a pole with mistletoe above our heads for the big finale. it was a surprise to the rest of our wedding party and our guests!

  25. We went for a soft kiss that won’t embarrass our parents, then a hearty high five after. The guests cheered louder for the high five, I think :)

  26. Anonymous says...

    Not judging anyone, but I have to admit that as a wedding guest I don’t enjoy big kisses (especially sloppy ones). I just sort of think that the emotions can be expressed in different ways. I mean, we all know you’re in love already! But then again, I was partly raised by an English grandmother, so maybe that’s it. I find I’d even prefer a wedding without a kiss. Hmm…I guess a cultural thing.

  27. The bigger the better. David and I practiced kissing a LONG kiss for our wedding. On the day I remember counting in my head one, one thousand, two, one thousand…five, one thousand and then the guests all started cheering. It was a lot of fun!

  28. Anonymous says...

    Kiss away, my friends. Let the moment decide. What a day!

  29. Oh this is such a BIG question I have! Dave is so conservative and I am much less… I have wondered about how this will go… this is so good!

  30. Our wedding kiss was our first kiss (and my first kiss ever!). I was so nervous it would be really awkward, but we were both so excited, we went for a big, long smackeroo that was better than we could have planned. I stopped to laugh at one point then hubby leaned in for more. Somebody told me my dad blushed beet red which made it even funnier. :)

  31. Also should add I like big as long as it’s sweet! (and ours was(; )

  32. Probably big!! Our wedding kiss definitely started fireworks! No, really! My cute husband rigged it all up. We got married outside at sunset on a small lake and my husband made a remote starter and had fireworks set up on a small island part ways across the lake that were to ignite during the kiss. (his best friend had the remote in his pocket and was to hit it as soon as the pastor told us to kiss) It ended up being a VERY long and big kiss because it took longer for the fireworks to ignite than planned. I actually tried to pull away as it was starting to be longer than I was comfortable with, but he pulled me back and I then heard the crackle of fireworks and knew instantly what he had done! So wonderful and made for great pictures!

  33. Nora N. says...

    Oops “closed” mouth

  34. Nora N. says...

    Mine was a big kiss clothes mouth tho! Makeing out is a huge no no especially in front of our Catholic priest. I actually didn’t even let him finish announcing us- as soon as I heard “I now pronounce you” I jumped forward grabbed his face and planted a huge one! I was Very excited lol

  35. Gem says...

    You actually recycled a post! same photos and all (from jan 2009) lol I had to look it up, I was starting to feel crazy that I had read this post in a previous life or something!

  36. My husband and I actually didn’t kiss during our wedding. We kissed while we were dating, of course, but decided to leave the kiss out of the ceremony because I was really into being a rebel and going against traditions at the time :)

  37. Anonymous says...

    These photos made me tear up a little! That’s probably because I’m carrying a mountain of pre-wedding stress (3 months from TODAY!), but seeing these kisses remind me of what weddings are all about — the love between two people. I’m hoping for a sweet, loving and passionately grandparent-appropriate kiss (if such a thing even exists), but I know we’ll probably totally forget when swept up in the emotion of the day and end up making out or something. ;)

    -Erica (olsoer03)

  38. cute post! i made my now-husband practice with me before we got hitched & its so silly because when you are standing there you are so rushed with emotion, the kiss just comes naturally, not too long, not too short.


  39. I think we went with the rule of thumb, enthusiasm but no tongue.

  40. Awe, these photos make me want to get married now. I like how they’re not all “overdone” brides. Just romantic.

  41. Such fun photos:) We kept it modest, but it wasn’t short! Perfect for the event…such a good question though, because when you’re wedding planning this does cross your mind!

  42. I told my (now) husband that he’d better not peck kiss me!! I mean, everyone has just watched you get married so who are we kidding?! We like each other! So at the end of the ceremony not only did he give me a big kiss he also picked me up and spun me around! It was so fun and happy and affectionate. Everyone cheered! A very special moment that I’ll always remember.

  43. These pictures are so beautiful. I’m getting a little misty remembering my wedding kiss. We didn’t plan it and it was perfect. xox

  44. Just go with it. Don’t plan it. 10 years ago I was so excited when he said you may now kiss the bride- that I leaned in and gave a big o smooch!
    Its a special moment that you only get to do once with that person.

  45. We just went for it. ;)

    Here’s our kiss from our wedding. I love my sister’s celebration behind us, ha! xo.

  46. Go for it. I’m not saying I want to see anyone’s slobbery tongue, but if it looks unnatural, then what’s the point? Whatever feels right, and I’m hoping that means a kiss with actual excitement and love.

  47. I say somewhere in the middle! If you just got married you don’t want to look like a prude and just peck like two birds, but I don’t think anyone wants to watch two people make out (no matter how in love they are). It should be passionate but not R-rated.

  48. The photographer told us at our rehearsal it had to be at least 3 seconds long, which sounds short (but standing in front of grandparents AND parents it’s long!). We “practiced” the night before and for the ceremony it was just perfect. My husband made sure it was 3 seconds and longer, but still so romantic.

  49. I’m not married so I can’t say for sure, but definitely no tongue! I’m not huge on kissing in public so I’d probably go pretty discreet.

  50. Anonymous says...

    At my age, there’s not much choice…That said, I’d go for a sweet dry press if I ever marry again. That way slobber there’s control, and decreased chance of dentures being thrown instead of the bouquet.

  51. gem says...

    havent u already done this post before? i could swear i have read it on this blog already…or is that just deja-vu?

  52. Yours looked like it was perfect – it’s got to be a proper kiss! x

  53. I don’t know but I get married a week tomorrow so I need to decide!!!

  54. I don’t remember why but somehow our marriage ceremony included two kisses! We’re kinda camera shy & we don’t like being the center of attention but all that melted away & we shared the most perfect smooches!

  55. I’m surprised we didn’t plan out our kiss beforehand, seems like something I would have thought about but happy we didn’t because it was perfect! I really like the 3rd photo down where the husband is holding his wife’s face. Charming.

  56. I went big! I was so excited that I practically jumped on him!

  57. Nesa says...

    This post made me giggle! All the photos are so sweet! :)

  58. This isn’t something my husband and I talked about at all! I think I just completely forgot about it! After our vows, the moment was so emotional and beautiful that both of us were completely swept away – and the kiss was wonderful! One of our bests that I’ll never forget!

  59. we went for it. It wasn’t over the top or overly sweet…it was just a wonderful kiss. Ironically my favorite photo from our wedding that I have up in our room is us kissing in the middle of the dance floor and you can see that there are people dancing all around us and no one is looking at us but it’s clear everyone is having a great time and there we are in the middle totally oblivious and making out. I love it bc I don’t remember taking it but I remember the moment perfectly. I couldn’t believe our photographer got it and I was so happy he did.

  60. that’s your first kiss as a married couple… you better go for it!

  61. Where is the last photo from?

  62. This is embarrassing – my father yelled “get a room” when my cousin & his new bride lingered over their wedding kiss ;)

  63. Young T says...

    The priest that conducted our ceremony liked to elevate the couple and had us stand on the altar facing the family and friends. I temporarily lost focus while I was looking out and missed the subtle cue from the priest that said it was time to kiss. So when my husband grabbed me to kiss me I pulled away thinking – “What are you doing? It’s not time!” Needless to say, it was the most AWKWARD kiss ever. I wasn’t and isn’t indicative of our marriage – we will be married 20 years in September and we still adore each other.

  64. Hi Jo. Andre and I got married 11 years ago. The ceremony was very unique, with friends doing all the celebration, I sang a song instead of doing a formal vow… But when it came to the kiss moment, I got nervous and started to laugh this cary laungh and ended up ruining our wedding kiss pictures… You can see lovely Andre there, giving me a very cute kiss, while I have this crazy grin on my face… Totally not planned…

  65. I’ve been thinking about this a lot.. being that it’s almost time for us to make the plunge. I’m just gonna go with it and kiss how ever we feel… it’s our day!! right??

    Happy Thursday!

  66. Anonymous says...

    my husband and I are not big PDAers so our kiss was quite brief. Apparently too brief as our officiator asked us to do it again with more feeling!

  67. My fiance and I have talked about it, but decided to abort the idea and just go with the flow on the wedding day! :)


  68. Annie says...

    I’m English and it is only recently that kissing has become part of the ceremony. When I got married in 1990 in church (because it was that or registry office then), we did not kiss. Now it is quite OK to kiss and for your congregation to applaud. Not sure about that one. We don’t throw bouquets either. Or help each other to cake.
    Funny old things, weddings.

  69. Our priest never told us we could kiss, so just before we started the recessional, Mr. Sandwich murmured, “Do we kiss now?” And I said, “Sure!” Then the photographer had us do it again halfway down the aisle.

    I think how “big” you kiss depends on you, your guests, and the setting. Ours was pretty grandparent-friendly, because we had a large church wedding, and that seemed appropriate for the specific occasion. Also, because we saw that kiss as largely symbolic, with lots of time for “big” kisses in the immediate future! But YMMV.

  70. Oh, it was preeeetty substantial, a lot like the fourth photo you have here! We got plenty of applause and cheers from the wedding guests (my dad actually shouted “atta boy!” at my hubby… LOL), and I must say it was a lot of fun.

    We’d held off until the morning of our wedding day to kiss one another, so I guess we were making up for the months of waiting :)

  71. we went big – i got dipped! and i had no clue it was coming!

  72. MJ says...

    we discussed that we shouldn’t do some big kiss but in the moment it was embarrassingly big, long kiss…we cringe when our daughter asks to see our wedding video but in the moment it was perfect!!!

  73. interesting theme, i think that there is not a right answer, it depend on the emotions at the moment so just go for it…

  74. We ended up with a big kiss. And in the moment, my new husband literally swept me off my feet and swung me high into the air! It is my absolute favorite photo from our wedding.

    If you’d like, you can see the photo here, on our photographer’s blog:

  75. So long as it isn’t at all self-conscious: go for it!!
    What I am fascinated by are all the backgrounds in those great shots you provided…

  76. I’m getting married in 6 months and I am GOING FOR THE BIG KISS!

  77. Me too, Coco! It was super romantic and it made the hottest picture!

  78. I got a big ol’ smackeroo! I told my husband it would be fun to get a dip-kiss but then he never mentioned it again. We went in for the kiss on our wedding day and he dipped me! It was so fun and unexpected and very us :)

  79. I think the bigger the better!

  80. I used to time movie and wedding kisses, so when my husband and I got married, we knew we had to go big and clocked in at 22.1 seconds!

    Someone once told me the wedding kiss was a good indicator of the marriage. While not true at all, I think it’s still fun to think about.

  81. my mother actually yelled “that’s enough” when we were kissing…

    i remember it vividly…

    …but it was SO HARD not to get swept up in it, and when we already are super affectionate towards each other… well, can’t blame us (:

    but thanks mom.. for being so “mom” on that day (: it’s a funny and good memory to have..

  82. as long as it isn’t gross looking, i think a nice long kiss is perfect!

  83. When the priest said “you may now kiss the bride” I screamed “yay” really loud in church and then we just went for it. Everyone laughed and clapped which made it even more fun.

  84. we got married in a little country historical church by our minister and my new husband dipped me for the kiss! i love it!!

  85. Anonymous says...

    My husband put his hands on my face and leaned in. My knees literally got weak! He kissed me long and sweet. Then I kissed him right back. One of my favorite memories!

  86. On my wedding day, I ordered one BIG kiss (hold the tongue). I got just what I wanted, served up HOT!

  87. My wedding is on May 20, and we already have discussed keeping it short and sweet (but definitely more than a peck!), so i guess it would classify as “small” :) i am way too embarrassed by PDA! but i think the “small” kisses are the sweetest… i always feel so awkward when the couple starts going at it.

  88. Anonymous says...

    We had a very long polite kiss – no tongues. In the photos it looks like a big smooch and we are both grinning like mad!

    The first thing my husband said to me when i arrived at the ceremony location was ‘you’re beautiful’ and then he kissed me. Somone shouted out that kissing wasn’t allowed yet and that got everyone laughing :-)


  89. i agree with going for it! incidentally, my husband’s version of going for it included grabbing my ass. in a catholic church. he was so embarassed, and swears he didn’t mean too- he just got caught up in the moment. it was totally not a big deal though, and actually, a pretty funny wedding memory.

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  91. Susanna says...

    This was the topic of much debate leading up to our big day. The issue- I had spent weeks searching for the perfect shade of red lipstick. I finally found it (Chanel Coco Rouge, Shade 25 Vendome), but we also discovered that it was a bit, erm, transferable! Understandably my guy didn’t want to spend our reception wearing my lipstick, so we devised a “fake-out” kiss- it looked like a make out, but our lips just touched lightly.

  92. We had one of my husbands friends marry us. He was older and warned us to keep our kiss small. We kind of listened and had two small kisses and one big one, one after the other. So we got the best of both worlds. I remember being so nervous about our kiss so we even practiced which looking back now is pretty funny. :)

    xx, C

  93. We didn’t rehearse ours, it was completely in the moment. I thought it hadn’t been a very long one but we recently got our wedding video back and I realized it was quite a big one! Not uncomfortably long or anything but you could tell how happy and how in love we were (and still are).

  94. After four years of long distance leading up to that day, all I could do was kiss my man with some serious passion and pump my fist in the air like a victor! Oh yeah. (:

  95. Haa I was so nervous, I flushed bright red and could only manage a little one! But the rest of the day I was so excited, you couldn’t keep our lips apart :)

  96. I totally agree! When you’re swept up in the moment a sweet, full kiss is what will most likely just naturally happen on it’s own! When I got married the ceremony was short, maybe 10-15 minutes and I savored every second of it as though it was happening just between my husband and I, regardless of the many other people in the room. The excitement of being declared married was overwhelming and so I feel that even if you do think about it in advance the kiss that happens in the moment with be completely spontaneous and authentic and reflect the two personalities that have just been joined. Ahh…truly lovely!! What a great memory!

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  98. Your wedding kiss photos are so cute! We never even talked about ours beforehand. It never would have occurred to me! Looking back, I think ours was… normal? I mean, not a chaste peck, that’s for sure, but also not a full-on make-people-squirm make-out session. Just whatever felt natural in the moment, which is probably how it should be, yes?

  99. Haha. We made SO much fun of my little brother for their peck. We had to go for it a little bit more. We were just so happy in the moment. I’d say it was a “medium strenght” kiss. Love all the kissy pictures! So sweet!

  100. Anonymous says...

    I was thinking we would do a simple, polite kiss. My husband had other ideas and gave me a kiss worthy of a Hollywood movie. The janitor was sitting behind the altar, just out of site and I remember him giving us a whistle. It was great fun!

  101. Madeline says...

    This post made me smile! :) 4 years ago today, I married my sweet man. We shared a juicy smooch after stating our vows in the presence of our family and friends. What day, what a life!!

  102. All I can think of is that scene from the Wedding Singer w/ Drew Barrymore & Adam Sandler doing the “Church Tongue”. lol.

    I wanna big kiss at my future wedding day!! =)

    Lemanie’s Randomness Blog

  103. i’m aiming for big!!! but i think big can be done in a way that doesn’t seem too over the top.

    xx jes

  104. so so beautiful! i think, not matter what i ‘meant’ to do-I would forget…like you and get swept love the grey dress near the bottom…

  105. My husband and I didn’t intend to go for the big kiss, but our priest told us we could kiss before we expected to and it just happened. Then we kissed again! It was more fun than scandalous, and I think it showed that we were just very happy at that moment.

  106. My fiance and I went to a wedding a couple of years ago where it looked like the groom pulled away from the kiss as soon as he possibly could. It was so awkward! I don’t think it matters which you choose as long as you ‘commit’ to it. :)

    (But I am definitely going big at the way!)

  107. Agree with Olga… Big, sweet, smooch! It’s such a special moment… :)