Relationships

How to Make a Plan With Friends

How to Make a Plan with Friends

A few weeks ago, I texted four female friends: “Want to have dinner tomorrow night?” Cut to forty texts later, and we had finally figured out another day that worked for everyone. Until my friend suddenly remembered she had a work event that night.

Remember the New Yorker parody, Let’s Get Drinks? Maddening! You start out like this and end up like this.

But then I remembered a meeting site called Doodle, which I figured would save the day. You suggest a few days, and then everyone checks off which days they’re free (or not). You easily see on the chart which day is best. It’s a gazillion times faster than texting back and forth.

So we did a poll and found a day right away. But then…

Gemma: WAIT I am sorry I have a book launch that night. Can we do it the following week?

Anna: What??! We had a DOODLE poll. Is nothing SACRED?

[Another Doodle poll]

Joanna: omg, thank god, May 28th. same time, place, NO ONE CAN BAIL.

Lucy: What about be late?! I need to know how late everyone will be so I can plan accordingly.

And here we are. Cheers!

How to Make a Plan with Friends

Do you have the same scheduling insanity? Any tips???

P.S. Five-minute phone calls, and do you hug and kiss your friends?

  1. Inge says...

    My oldest friend and I always pick a next date before we say goodbye. It can be 2 or 3 months away, but we save the whole day (our initial plan is always: going to the coast, a 1hr drive, but babies under a year don’t make that easy at the moment). We’ve done this for more than 8 years and it works for us, we see each other more often now. Sometimes with babies, sometimes with babies and husbands, sometimes it’s just us. Activity depends on weather and family circumstances. Sometimes the day turns out to be just 2-3 hours, sometimes it is a whole day at the coast, yay :-) But we do see each other on a regular basis now.

  2. Ange says...

    I absolutely love the Brielle Daisy dress. I can see myself wearing that all summer long.

  3. Alice says...

    facebook events tend to work out well! you can make a set date and change the time/date if needed. also, it’s not quite as annoying as text messaging! :)

  4. My wife forwarded me this post… this is exactly the challenge I’ve set out to solve! I kept thinking that there had to be a better way than either just Doodle and / or the endless emails & texts between my friends. Please check out my web application for scheduling at http://www.blipseek.com – hopefully it is useful for people (and if it’s not, please let me know why so I can try to make it better)!

  5. Maleesa says...

    Joanna, try the Frenzy app! (getfrenzy.com) When you’re trying to get your girlfriends together for dinner, this app helps you put the idea out there and then they can say whether they’re in or not. If not enough people are in within a certain amount of time, it’ll disappear and your night is freed up to plan something else instead. Hopefully it will save you on finger fatigue from those forty texts. It’s also great for “Hey I’m going to the park with Toby and Anton this morning, anyone want to join?”

  6. This made me laugh because my friends and I already have this problem and we’re still in college and don’t have full time jobs yet! We always have to work around each others class schedules!

  7. Nicole Perez says...

    I use the sunrise calendar because it’s syncs between my apple and non-apple products. They just came out with the “meet,” which works just like a doodle poll except directly off your calendar. Anytime I need to set up meetings, I pick three times that work for me on the keyboard on my phone, and it emails it to the other person as a link. They pick what works for them, and my calendar notifies me. It works if they don’t have the app of course. This has made planning brunch with my friends A LOT easier!

  8. This is so accurate and I’m going to have to try out Doodle. I’ve been trying to schedule lunch with a friend for a month so I could tell her in person that I’m moving out of state. At this point I’m moving in 2 weeks and I still can’t get her to lock down a date!!

  9. meli says...

    ’40 texts later…’ >> YES! SOUNDS ABOUT RIGHT :D :D :D

  10. I have no scheduling tips. I wish I did.As a person who prefers to be on time, this is one of the great pangs in almost every one of my friendships. What I’d like to know is how to talk to a friend (or friends) about this issue in a kind, nonjudgmental manner

  11. Liz says...

    This is SO relevant right now. I am trying to start an “article club” and made a FB group and asked everyone about the date. Created the event after most people responded and now only one of the three ladies (who actually said they could go) is for sure going. Ugh! That’s why I asked about dates far in advance, ladies- so we could have a GROUP discussion. If I only wanted to talk to one person I wouldn’t have tried to make an “article club” now would I? Ha, sorry. Guess I just needed to vent.

  12. I love Doodle! As MOH, I used it to coordinate dates with the rest of my sister’s bridal party for showers, bachelorette, etc and it was a dream!

  13. CC says...

    We use Doodle a lot at work for organizing fun outings (happy hour, bowling, kickball). But as for my friends, I just make sure I have one friend I can count on coming and then I send out a group text or a FB event invite depending on the number of people. If people can’t make it, that’s their problem. I won’t rearrange events/times. Someone is always busy so this way you aren’t having to pick who gets left out (some times the issue with doodle). If they really want to make it, they’ll adjust their schedule. If not, no big deal. And personally I prefer more 1 on 1 interactions with my friends in which case scheduling is so much easier.

  14. I have a friend who loves making plans for everyone to get together. She picks a date, place, and time and sends a e-vite out for everyone to RSVP. Whoever can make it, great! Whoever can’t, we’ll see you next time. Personally, I think it would be better if we all chose one time every month (say, the third Thursday) and made it a tradition, but that’s coming from a flexible twenty-something who has no kids to work around.

    http://www.DisforDreamer.com

  15. Margot says...

    I don’t really have that problem, because we are all so used to using Doodle, and it is sacred. You just don’t forget that you have a work event!

  16. Adrien says...

    You could always take the hard line route of saying “this is where I am going to be at this time on this date. Will not be brining my telephone with me so whoever wants to join is welcome”. This way if no one comes you get a date with yourself, and if people do show its those people who know they can’t bail and set aside time with intention to see you.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      no phone, hard core! i love it.

  17. Susan says...

    This. Is. So. True! I usually have to book a month and a half in advance, and then someone’s kid get sick on the day. Sigh.

  18. Lisa says...

    Im also into casual hang outs, I’m more of a “I’m in town, anyone want to meet up?” kind of person. Sometimes we just decide a time and a place, and anyone who can join will join – if not you can either suggest another date or just say you won’t show up this time. Me and my friends do try to meet up one by one on occasion rather than as a huge group – because as fun as it is, all the deep and meaningful conversations usually happen when there is only 2, max, 3, of you. Or, host a garden party where you give a date and tell them to show up after 12 or whenever suits best, then go on all day and all night! No time pressure!

  19. prudence says...

    i thank my stars the girls i hang with are very “fu*k it” types – we suggest one day, “Saturday” whoever can, can and whoever cant we’ll see another day and if it ever gets this back and forth we just leave it… that’s my easy group i do however have one friend who will start the “I’m easy… i’m up for whatever” conversation and then four suggestions of places and times later and we still dont have a place and we always end up going for the first place/time i suggested… and then like clockwork shes late…even when i give her the wrong time and leave later than i said i would shes still late!!

  20. Carly G says...

    I used to be an executive assistant and I always dreaded scheduling meetings and lunches for my boss, even when I started using a meeting planning site similar to Doodle it was still painful.

  21. Anna says...

    Just fix a date. If there are three out of four, that’s already much! And an other day, you can do something nice with the person who couldn’t come ;)

  22. Andrea says...

    A group of six of us have been meeting for years. The easiest way is to choose a time frame and and have everyone say which nights they ARE NOT available. We rotate choosing when and where, with each person getting a two month window. So if it’s my turn, and I have June-July to plan a meeting (always a weeknight dinner – most everyone is working/too busy on weekends), I’ll send out an email late May asking everyone for their no available dates, narrow the choices, and pick a date. No way around a string of emails and we are not all present all the time. But for the past 5+ years we’ve seen each other at least every two months!

  23. kai says...

    so what’d ya wear…

    my friends and i are getting ready to have a girls night out and i have no idea what to wear. idk if i should dress up & be all hot mommaish or dress down & be casual cool so i would love to see some suggestions!

  24. Johanna says...

    I’m sorry, but how the HELL do you manage to have dinner with friends? Does Alex just take up the reins? Babysitter? I’m having such a hard time imagining the opportunity to take a night to just hang with friends. It seems like if there’s ever a night out it’s just with my husband. Then again, maybe this says something about ME (far away inquisitive look emoji).

  25. jane says...

    my friend tara had the best solution to this problem… she sends out an email with 10 dates that she is free. then we each take turns replying to the group after we delete the dates that don’t work for us. SO, it only takes one email from each person and the date/dates that everyone is free are left over. super quick and easy!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that’s so smart!!!

  26. Libbynan says...

    Frankly, I don’t even try anymore. I make a date with one friend and each of us calls two or three others with time and place and event. If anyone else shows up it’s great. If not, the two of us have a grand time talking about them!

    • Leslie says...

      Totally do the same thing! I think it works the best!

  27. Cinnamon says...

    I live in Los Angeles and this happens ALL THE TIME. My friends and I try to plan things for months and months until we all give up! It’s either people’s busy schedules, the distance between everyone or the very small window of time you can get anywhere without traffic (I have even met friends for breakfast at 7 am to avoid rush hour). I think how big the city is, how difficult it is to traverse and how overbooked we all are these days is what makes this city feel so lonely and unfriendly sometimes.

    • I concur. It’s pretty much impossible to hang with friends in L.A.

  28. LOL!

  29. Judit says...

    I know some ladies in my hometown who have this very strict and very old habit of meeting every Wednesday evening, same place, same time. It sounds like a religious meeting, but they’re actually just really good friends, they drink wine, gossip, and have fun together. Although they are all very busy during the rest of the week, they always try to make it on Wednesday night.
    I find this amazing, and now I’m trying to initiate something similar with my core group of four friends, and I really hope it’s going to work!

  30. Ha! These are my friends too. What made it so complicated about getting together for a fun night?!? Really, it’s crazy. Glad to know there’s actually a polling system out there and I will definitely be using it.

  31. this is so interesting! i am in my last year of university and i live like 2 seconds away from my friends at the moment, plus we all study in the library so we see each other constantly – no scheduling required! so weird to think how little we will see each other once we are in the workforce and in grown up jobs – and that’s those of us who will live in the same city, let alone people in other cities! thanks for the reminder to make the most of my current situation :)

  32. Liz says...

    I am so over friends who can’t make plans. I’ve recently broken off three friendships with people who can’t commit to dates and times or who cancel at the last minute. It just isn’t worth it. If you can’t make a proposed date/time you should offer up at least two new ones. If most people agree to a time and you can’t make it you should either shuffle things around or skip that meeting instead of asking everyone to reschedule. If you’re going to be late, don’t come.

  33. Amie says...

    my friends and i have a facebook group (a holdover from our first year of uni when we had a floor group and noe 3 years later we’ve created a new group with the people we actually still talk to) and it’s still impossible to figure out plans! half the time you have to text people a million times to even get them to respond on the group. i feel that this is just a universal problem that can never be solved haha

  34. Leah says...

    Am feeling so boring: I just used doodle to let my student’s book slots for discussing their final essay marks! If, as a final year PhD student, I only had such a doodle-able social life! ;-)

  35. Donna says...

    Yeah, it gets annoying fast. I’ve just taken to saying those who can make it, can attend and those who can’t will just have to wait until the next gathering otherwise scheduling becomes a downer. I’ve also found that if we plan too far in advance, by the time the date rolls around, I’ve totally lost interest in going.

  36. Genevieve says...

    This hits very close to home! I just moved to Boulder, CO from SF/Oakland area. I think when you live in a big city there is an odd thing that happens, everyone needs to PLAN everything all the time. Now that my boyfriend and I are in a new town, I’ve seen first hand how different it is in a small(er) community. His coworkers will text us on the weekend “Headed to the bar X”. If we want to go, we go! No pressure on time or if we go at all :)

  37. Meg says...

    My closest group of friends is really good with scheduling and I appreciate it so much, because I’ve had other friend groups that are terrible at scheduling and it’s maddening! When we get together, somebody initiated by sending an email, usually with a specific time/place already in mind. (“I’ve been wanting to try X Restaurant, let’s go Friday at 8pm, let me know if you can come!”) And those who are available go. It’s low drama and we hang out all the time! I think the key is having friends who are willing to just step up and make specific plans without having to poll the whole crowd about where, when, etc.

  38. Amy Lauree says...

    All. The. Time. I had suggested that the last Sunday evening of every month be “our night” as in my core group of lady friends get together. But then something always came up for someone and if you got the wrong combos of people it was just weird which sounds immature but it was kind of true.
    It’s so annoying. But in reality, most of us also have kids and everyone has to check and see if their partner is okay with it and if THEY have plans first or if you need a sitter. UGH!
    People are also just so busy and have a lot going on more than they did back in the “landline” days. Kids have soccer, there’s a date night, visiting grandparents, work, etc etc etc.

  39. Laura says...

    OHMYGOSH! This hits the nail on my dear friends’ heads! Of course, everyone has a legit excuse from time to time, and yes, we all have kids, but it has gotten bonkers.
    You know what I think contributes to this mostly is our dang phones. Back in the dark ages, we used to call (landline) and make a plan for dinner. And then, bam!, folks showed up at said time and place. The cell phone/email/text/whatever makes it too easy to notify everyone last minute about scheduling changes, i.e. bail.
    I think I may resort to sending out actual paper invitations. It seems more permanent, or at least important that way. “Dear Friends, Let’s meet at the corner bar on Monday for much needed beers. Be there or be square.”

  40. Anon says...

    In my group, we’ve just had to become more realistic and understanding about everyone being together at once. There’s no hard feelings if you can’t make something, and also it’s no big deal if everyone else has to schedule something fun for when you can’t make it. It’s kind of just how we’ve evolved over the years, and it’s totally sanity-saving. I think our relationships have survived because of it!

  41. I have a group of friends I met when I had my first daughter 18 years ago, we still meet once a month, I co ordinate, every month it is an email nightmare, there will never be an app or a ‘thing’ that will simplify it – what will is when everyone has less to do (in 30 years time!!)

  42. Kate says...

    That New Yorker article hits so depressingly close to home. I have been trying to get dinner with one of my friends for three months. This Sunday is the big day. Any bets on whether it will happen?

    My college friends and I have given up on getting *everyone* to come to something. We do a doodle poll, pick the best possible date, and just make getting together a regular enough concurrence that we all see each other eventually.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      your line about whether it will actually happen made me laugh. my friend gemma actually texted this morning saying “is tonight the night??” because she was so confused that she hadn’t heard from anyone cancelling!

  43. Sarah Eicher says...

    Planarchy!

  44. Ann says...

    The problem isn’t finding a time/date…the problem is that people aren’t willing to miss out and say “can’t tonight, but I’ll join next time!” and thus keep everyone else from having a good time. FOMO runs so high nowadays, that 3 people have to sacrifice drinks/dinner (that do happen to work for them), just because 1 person can’t join in.

    New solution: If you’re the one person making plans difficult, take yourself out of the equation! My response is always “Can’t tonight, but you guys have fun!”

    • hilary says...

      I love that you said this. One of my pet peeves is that one person cancelling the event because she can’t make it. Just come next time, I still want to have fun!

    • Yes I agree with this totally. I’m actually having this same problem with my girlfriends. It takes FOREVER to secure a date and then someone doesn’t respond and before we know it… a month goes by before we actually get together.

      My new plan is to pick a date I’m available and send out a text that says “I’m free this night and if you are as well I’d love for you to join me to do X,Y, or Z.” That way the social event can happen and if someone can’t make it then “Darn! Lets try to plan another something for when you are free in the near future!”

  45. Kash says...

    Multiple plans! Maybe this is silly/also I don’t have kids but… my standard is to text whomever I’d like to see and say “Who is free for dinner tomorrow” and then make an immediate plan but also start chatting about a future time. People are too busy for everyone to come to everything :)

  46. My life is already a little like that. It sounds like it gets worse in your 30s. Ugh.

  47. Julie says...

    Doodle is great! I use it allllll the time at work! I never thought about using it for social gatherings!

    http://www.when2meet.com is a good one too!

  48. Jennie says...

    Doesn’t always work, but we tell everyone to bring their calendars (ok…let’s be honest…just their phones) with them each time we meet and then we try to schedule one or two dates for a month or so down the road. That way it’s on the calendar early as other events/invitations come in.

  49. Christie says...

    This happens all the time! It’s so hard to find a date when everyone is available that we’ve just started picking a day when the MAJORITY can make it.

    It’s also impossible to find a restaurant to meet at – we will all agree to catch up and then everyone will say ‘I don’t care where we go’… it’s like a frustrating game of ‘no YOU hang up first’.

    Now, someone will send an email and say ‘Dinner at x restaurant, on these three dates – pick one’ and the majority wins. :)

  50. Kelly says...

    I’m a big fan of impromptu hang outs. I’ll text a couple friends “whatcha doing?” if they say ‘nothing’, then I’ll invite them over to hang on the couch to watch Pride and Prejudice or have drinks on the porch. If we plan in advance, something will always come up or someone will bail. Plus, it’s less pressure to just drop what you’re doing and come over in your comfy clothes.

  51. Naia says...

    This is kind of weird, but i don’t have a group of friends – i have a few close girlfriends, but they don’t really know each other. I wish i could get a group together! It’s hard to make friends in your 30s.

    • Amy says...

      @Naia–I’m kind of I’m relieved I’m not the only one in this type of situation–I have a few close girlfriends from various phases in life–from childhood to grad school–that not only don’t know each other, but are also polar opposites of one another in so many ways, I can’t see us all hanging out as a group. It’s one of the many reasons I’m not having bridesmaids for my wedding. :/

  52. Taylor says...

    Memes on point today :).

  53. Yes! We had this same issue – even with Doodle scheduling. My college roommates and I figured out the answer. We have a set date every month and whoever can make it, can make it. This way I have the second Tuesday of every month already scheduled for our Ladies Dinner and try not to make plans for that night.

  54. Sarah says...

    We always plan the next get-together when we’re together–that way we can look at our calendars and find a date that works. Then someone sends a Google calendar invite so we have it on our calendars that same evening!

  55. I was just having a conversation about this with a member of an older generation this weekend. She said she believes that having text/email/other means of constant communication—helpful as they usually are—seem also to have made us a lot flightier, since we know we can just reschedule, even last minute. It’s an interesting thought!

  56. Charlotte says...

    My friends and I don’t even have kids and husbands to deal with, but it’s equally impossible to schedule a girldate. It has to be months in advance, and still it can get cancelled. But we’ve learned to deal with it! Enjoy your night out :)

  57. Exasperated in SF says...

    I feel like a lot of people these days have terrible etiquette around making plans, canceling at the last minute or presenting their schedules as if they don’t have time for you or for anything fun (read: non-work). Keep your word. Be considerate. Respect other people’s time as much as your own. Why are we all competing to be the busiest and most-complicated?

  58. Beth says...

    I LOVE DOODLE. Just putting that out there. I’ve used it for a couple of years for work-related events, but never thought about using it for my social life (or lack thereof)!

  59. Ashley says...

    We use Doodle to schedule a girls dinner club. It works great!

  60. justine says...

    Absolutely – the ease in which you can cancel plans have made it virtually impossible to maintain said plans. Maddening. Guilty as well, but have been trying to work on this.

  61. Alex says...

    Oh man – my 4 best girlfriends and I have been trying to plan a girls weekend away for TWO YEARS! But something always comes up – job loss, new job, new boyfriend, grad school, weddings, etc… Last fall I finally said, that’s it! May 2015! We’re doing this! No excuses! Then I got pregnant. Oops. :P Maybe May 2016…

  62. Kim says...

    I volunteer a lot and we use Doodle to schedule our meetings – it’s a lifesaver!

  63. Gabriella says...

    Doodle is the only way that’s worked for me with larger groups. And we use it for our book club, too!

  64. That’s definitely what it’s like trying to schedule girls night out (or in) with my mom and sisters. That app sounds awesome though! Might have to give that one a try!

    Kristi | beloverly.com

  65. Whoever initiates picks the time/place/location. If that doesn’t work for all, that is ok it is still happening even with just 2 people, if everyone is there even better. We rotate who plans to get a variety and make sure that everyone is included as much as possible with out going crazy.

  66. Ha I am so guilty of being a bad friend to plan with! First, I don’t always remember to text back about the plans . I respond in my head and forget to actually respond, or I don’t know the answer right away, so I think- I’ll respond when I know, and then I never respond. Second, I don’t really like making commitments! I don’t know how tired I’ll be after work that day, or what mood I’ll be in… Then, if I do succeed in actually making plans- it is basically a guarantee that something will come up and I’ll be at least 10 minutes late. It’s tragic.
    All of these tendencies could create a solitary, lonely existence, though, so I try to fight against them. I have fabulous friends! They’re worth the effort. Sometimes my introverted self just needs some convincing though. :)

  67. Ashley Antkowiak says...

    Haha! We used to live in a small town in Idaho where everyone lived pretty much within walking distance of everyone else and you ran into people you knew everywhere. It was easy to hang out and gatherings usually happened with little to no planning necessary. When we moved back home to just outside of Annapolis, MD, we were instantly reminded of the craziness of planning a get together! Plus if we don’t make an effort we would go weeks without seeing our friends! The struggle is so real.

  68. Dakota says...

    Set a date and keep it the same for every month. Example: The third Thursday of every month is girls night out. That way people can plan accordingly for babysitters, etc. and schedule other events around your set girls night out.

  69. This happens to me ALL THE TIME!!!! I realise how much time is being wasted just messaging back & forth & always try to be as efficient as possible without seeming authoritative or impatient haha. Sometimes in my head I’m like: just gimme a time & place goddammit! oops. Will give Doodle a try ! Thanks for the tip :)

  70. Tyler says...

    I have so little patience for all that back and forth! If it looks like its going to be too complicated I just tell them we will try another week.

  71. I agree with setting a date and time (make sure at least one other person can come, of course) and no hard feelings if you can’t come! However, for events we want to make sure everyone can come, like our annual ladies weekend for summer time, we start an email in January !!! If you can’t make it with a 6 months heads up, well….. ;) Speaking of ladies weekend, I just ordered a waterproof camera, I can’t wait to blog this year’s trip in July!

    Charlie, http://www.lemonbutterlove.com

  72. ashley says...

    Such a true post. This is one of the reasons I choose not to make plans (especially on the weekends). It’s hard, yes. But my friends have now learned that I’m the friend they can catch on a whim. And it leaves my days open to whatever I feel like doing, and not what I was scheduled to do.

  73. My Junior League committee uses Doodle and it’s a great, low-hassle way to find a date that everyone’s free to meet. I never thought about using it for friends though. We usually just go back and forth a million times in FB messenger ironing out a date. haha

    Her Heartland Soul
    http://herheartlandsoul.com

  74. I use Doodle, but really, there’s no perfect way to handle this except being as chill as possible about the people who do inevitably bail… and not tolerating wishy-washiness in the lead-up. Like, if someone asks if they can change the date three days out, say “For the good of the group we’re keeping the original date, but we’d love it if you could suggest the best change-proof date for your schedule next time around so we’ll get to see you!” It’s sort of aggressive to some people, but like, how else to ever pull it off, ya know?

  75. This is so true and happens to me all the time too! Our modern lives are so crazy. I love your posts on taking a step back (like the one earlier this week on slow parenting)…always a great reminder to appreciate little moments. So, enjoy your night out with friends!

  76. My girlfriends and I try to go out once a month. That way if someone can’t make it one month than hopefully we can see them the next. It’s rare that we are all together but it’s extra special when we are.

  77. Hannah says...

    Try when2meet.com – it’s a lot more casual than Doodle.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      ooh thank you!

  78. Katherine says...

    YES! My friends and I use Doodle too! I used it at work, and my friends made fun of me making things feel so corporate, but it WORKS.

  79. Anna says...

    this is so so true. Life is just so busy and it’s desperately hard to make time for girl friends. But so, so important. Doodle works. Also what works is reserving say the last Tuesday of the month – everyone knows it a year in advance and if you make it you do but if sometime urgent crops up eg. Kid sick, family funeral, it acceptable to miss out but there will always be the next end of the month Tuesday!

  80. I have no tips but this makes me think of Aziz Ansari’s stand up about making plans with friends. (https://youtu.be/_RbMv7HUiO4) It’s so true for me. I love my friends but I’m really bad at making plans and ACTUALLY hanging out! :X

  81. I agree with what Kelsey said! My only tip is to don’t worry about it if people can’t show. E.g. “We’re doing brunch on this day at this time at this place — come if you can!” Is much easier than “Who wants to get brunch at some point at some place?” :)

  82. Joanna says...

    I agree – I check with a few key folk and then just send out the invite. Either your available or not but I’m not going to try to accomodate 30 schedules. And then people still can’t make it at the last minute. How frustrating!

  83. Kelsey says...

    After college, we kind of gave up on trying to get everyone to come to every event – it was just too hard. Now, the general idea is to come if you can, if not, see you next time. No hard feelings. Otherwise we’d never see anyone.