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By the lovely Grace Farris.
P.S. Friday night plans and notes to you.
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Having a sick day today and this is very spot on – except for my two pups snuggled up for emotional support and some homemade chicken farro soup. I made it yesterday when I felt this cold coming on. I wholeheartedly thank my former self who was looking out for sick me since I live alone.
This was very much exactly me all weekend watching Rivals in bed with Kleenex and hot tea.
I have a chronic illness and compromised immune system so I sick a lot, and it’s a big reason I’m probably not going to have kids—it’s miserable now without even getting sick as frequently as I would with kids in the house, and I just can’t wrap my head around caring for a baby (or a toddler seems worse?) while sick. It makes me really sad, but knowing how sick I get already, it’s a hard choice to make.
As someone who also has chronic illness, i understand how much it impacts every decision. You will not regret not having children, as difficult and sad as it may seem right now. I don’t have any, and i am thankful every day for that. I would not be able to care for myself or them as much as i would want to. I hope yr able to have many good, stable days in the future.
I’m in a similar situation to you, Katie. I have an autoimmune disease and a neurological disease that reduces my mobility. I’m grateful to have married someone who didn’t want children, but I still feel a sense of loss for what might have been. I find myself still thinking up baby names, as stupid as that sounds! It’s completely normal to be sad, but please remember putting your health first is never something to feel guilty about. Hugs to you!
Your decision is valid and you know what’s right for you! I have two disabilities (narcolepsy and hemiplegic migraines) and my husband winds up parenting solo for whole days when I’m stuck in bed. But that still works well for our family. My daughter is three and we are all very grateful she’s in daycare full time.
We’re on the fence about having a second, and my narcolepsy specialist shared some great advice when I told her I was scared to go through pregnancy/postpartum/breastfeeding without any narcolepsy meds. She said of course it’s hard, but she said “you have to think about the bigger picture to decide what’s right for you” maybe you’re already doing that, but it felt like a revelation for me.
This is my jam!
I gasped when I saw the Ideal Sick Day post this week. I have been out for a whole week with a terribly sick with Covid (!). It was supposed to be a week filled with lots of joy and exciting things; a gossipy dinner with a dear friend, welcoming my department of 90 folks from across our province to our annual two day conference, my group therapy session, and seeing Bruce
Springsteen (my one true love after my husband and dog) live in concert for the first time. Instead, I was couch bound. I remembered Jo’s recommendation of Somebody, Somewhere and ended up bingeing it over two days. What a gift to the world this show is. The friendship, love and unwavering support between Sam, Joel and their friend group had me crying, smiling and laughing. As I pottered around the house after finishing the show, I found myself missing the characters and wondering what they were up to (are they making a ‘tini?!). Thank you to you Johanna for the recommendation which brought a smile to my face on an otherwise crummy week. And for this beautiful community you have built which is much like Sam and Joel’s friendship – safe, supportive and constant! Big hugs to you and all the fellow readers out there.
Yes to this over here! Almost a carbon copy of a sick day I had this week – thankfully we are all on the rise again. Lovely, as always, Grace!
Nailed it!
But how about some podcasts that are not explicit besides Kenji and Deb (which I love)? I only listen to This American Life and Radio Lab…there must be others out there?
Search Engine is great–thoughtful storytelling on a range of subjects!
Hi JPG! I really enjoy Planet Money and Inside Trader Joe’s.
Stuff You Should Know!! Or Judge John Hodgman! Both family favorites around here.
Demystify Magic, with Molly and Madison! The Gathering Room, with Martha Beck!
Snap Judgement and The Moth for really interesting personal stories told by the individual. Very good professional production which makes it easy to listen to.
Happier with Gretchen Rubin? If you like food, The Kitchen Cabinet which is based in the UK, hosted by a prominent food critic, they have fun food chat with a live audience? Hidden Brain is a jewel of a podcast that no one I meet has ever heard of. If you like Harry Potter, I love Harry Potter and the Sacred Text. Criminal is the most interesting stories told but Phoebe Judge who I could listen to all day. If you like history, Not So Quiet On The Western Front is a deep dive that assumes you know the basics of WWI (I don’t but I’m still really enjoying it!).
Bon appetit has some good ones – I like Dinner SOS where people call in with cooking scenario questions, ie how do I expand my mushroom cooking repertoire, what do I cook for my friend group with different diets? It’s cheerful and nothing sad happens.
Kenji and Deb?!?! Omg. Did not know. Immediately subscribed.
This could also be titled: recipe for a “Bed Seven” a la Molly Shannon. Been aspiring to these of late.
Our family has been out since last Tuesday – mainly from pneumonia. I’m starting to think my immune system can’t fight germs and rising facism at the same time. This cartoon is the ideal (which is unattainable with kids but, at least we can get parts here and there… tissues mostly)
Three of our five have come down with pneumonia since Halloween! It’s rough.
I have dedicated sick day reading material: Terry Pratchett’s discworld books. I’ve already read them all, but they’re so complex that I’ve usually forgotten the finer points by the time I go back to one of them. Plus they’re laugh-out-loud funny!!
I also have a policy that you can only watch funny movies when you’re sick. Nothing sad or depressing!! So: Airplane, Blazing Saddles, Princess Bride, etc!
Last tip: NEWS FAST. It’ll still be there once you get better!
I always read Harry Potter and Sorcerer’s Stone as my sick day(s) material. Normally I’m starting to feel better by the time I finish!
Do you guys have a recommendation for light hearted podcast? I am going through a very difficult time and I need something that can take my mind off of things. (I really want to stay off of IG.)
Thank you from this sleep deprived and financially struggling mom of two who just returned to work from my maternity leave.
“So True with Caleb Hearon” is great. He’s a comedian who brings on a different guest every week. Funny conversations that are also often sweet and thoughtful.
“Celebrity Book Club” with Lily and Steven is also so funny. They read and dissect a celebrity memoir every week.
Sending love! Xoxoxo
Normal Gossip!! I’ve been convincing everyone I know to listen to it. They’re all amazing, but the first episode I ever heard was “Ready to be Bunco-fied” and I do think that’s a great one to start on. I also love the podcast The Recipe with Kenji and Deb.
The Handsome Podcast! Doesn’t get any better! Pure joy.
Handsome always makes me laugh out loud!
How did this get made – hilarious!
Let’s Go to Court! was my maternity leave listen. Kristen and Brandi got me through some very lonely-feeling days. The podcast has finished now but has a hundreds-of-episodes-long archive to get through.
I’ve also found ClutterBug really motivating and comforting. The host is a professional declutterer and organiser and I find listening whilst I’m doing the boring but busy work of putting the house back together so friendly and comforting.
For falling asleep I love free audiobooks through the Libby app, connected to our local library.
Handsome! I have given up all other podcasts but adore this one.
Spilled Milk! Listening to this is like hanging with your funny besties! Love Molly & Matthew :)
Who? Weekly! I cannot removed it highly enough.
Handsome pod! I switched from self help podcasts to Handsome because I needed something lighter. It’s all I listen to now!
Table Manners with Jessie and Lennie Ware. So cozy and British.
If you liked new girl “we’re here to help” is ridiculous and the best
This Is Love!
Daaang I did not realize the CoJ crowd was so into keeping it handsome! Love it. I have also turned to Handsome in lieu of self help/learning things pods.
Stories from the Village of Nothing Much – a cozy, conflict-free fiction podcast. The host also has a podcast called Nothing Much Happens, which is similar but meant to help you fall asleep. As a new mom who also recently returned to work, these have helped put me in a better headspace on tough days and nights!
If you are a reader, or even just an aspiring one (I was for years when my kids were little), I’d encourage you to check out What Should I Read Next? She takes one person’s liked and disliked books and then recommends three new books for that person to read. It’s an interview-style format, and it just feels like cozy coffee time with friends…and I get great book recommendations from it as well!
I’ve got a few suggestions:
-Wiser than me with Julia-Louise Dreyfus where she interviews a wide range of older women about their lives and then does a quick debrief with her own mom.
– Mike Birbiglia’s Working It Out- he’s a comedian and writer and each episode features different comedians that share their stories. They also “work through” untested material. It provides really unique insights into comedy.
-Friendtimacy – Finding our way to more fulfilling friendships. The host talks with different guests about various aspects of friendship. Very real and vulnerable.
A life more wild is soo relaxing. You kind of walk with a person through nature and they talk about their passion (stars, birds etc..). Perfect for dreaming yourself away.
Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me by NPR – it’s a hilarious quiz show. I’m incredibly jealous of anyone who gets to go back in their archive to listen to all of the episodes for the first time. They’re that good!
“This Is Important” from the guys that brought us Workaholics. So funny.
TII Nation forever!!!
A couple more podcast recs:
Nobody’s Listening, Right?
Solicited Advice with Alison Roman
And a very favorite, but limited edition one is called Home Cooking, by Samin Nosrat and Hrishikesh Hirway.
Sentimental Garbage! Always makes me laugh. Never depressing.
optional furry friend for emotional support
The day I can stick like this I’ll have arrived lol
Welp, this is me. I never ever got sick, like, for decades, until I got covid and now I’ve been sick multiple times. So incredibly annoying. I’m home sick right now, surrounded by boxes of tissues and tea and have binged all the shows, until I am so exhausted I fall asleep in the middle of the day. It’s all I can do to make soup (but it is so delicious, that drives me to do it…). Ugh…all the ideals in that sketch are where I’m at now and I’ve just caught up on the new season of Bad Sisters, lol. Spot on. But true, commenter above: I lack only that special someone to care for me!
I am so sorry. I know a lot of people who sincerely say things like: “I don’t know anyone with Long Covid!” And then they tell me they’re recovering from their 3rd bout of pneumonia in two years. I hope you feel better soon, and can continue to take it easy!
Also (not aimed at you specifically, but everyone): Mask up when you can, friends! Your risk of developing Long Covid goes up with each reinfection, and we have enough problems as s nation without adding (even more) chronic ill-health to the pile!
Ha! Having a sick day today and this is very spot on 💗
I foresee many “sick days” during this administration.
Opening up CoJ today to this comic, and I feel SEEN. I tore my ACL playing soccer last weekend, and I’ve basically spent 99% of my time since then resting in bed, icing, elevating my leg. I have an appt next week with the orthopedic surgeon to discuss my options, but it is so emotionally draining to be looking ahead at 9-12 months of recovery, with significant losses to my mobility and independence in the meantime. I live alone and am self-conscious about asking my friends for too much help. (A ridiculous concern, since they have been nothing but supportive & I know would do anything they can for me.) If anybody else in the hivemind has been through this, please send your words of wisdom, limited mobility-adjusted life hacks, and comfort TV show recs. <3
So sorry Mary! How distressing. Please please lean on your friends. That’s what they’re here for! But also, do yourself a favor and watch the US version of Ghosts. It’s so silly and simple, but for whatever reason it just hits the spot when you need to be comforted. I ended up with the flu last week and it absolutely got me through a night of feverish tossing and turning and now I can’t stop watching it.
Oh Mary I’m sorry. My daughter tore hers in September. It is a long road. If it helps though she was walking on it with a brace within a week of tearing it. She was down again for about 3 days after surgery and is now walking around just fine. She can’t play soccer or anything for a long time yet but it is helping her to be mobile at least. You’ve got this! And I’m sure your friends will be delighted to help. I always feel like I’ve leveled up in friendship when someone reaches out with a request❤️. Sending love and healing your way. Feel free to reach out with any specific questions.
Sorry to hear this! My daughter is about to have an MPFL replacement on her right knee bc of multiple dislocations. She had the surgery last year on her left knee so we know the painful and long recovery! She got by with loads of books, streaming shows and doting by parents. It’s lonely to recover alone so please do reach out to friends and do the things that bring you comfort!
Oof, that’s rough. I’ve had my ACL reconstructed twice, both times using my own tendons as replacements. There are lots of options and procedures with different recovery systems. A standard replacement without PT beforehand and basic drug protocols left me OUT on opioids for almost a week. Plan to have friends help change your ice machine and maybe a meal train. Some crock pot ready stuff in the freezer will help the first few weeks when cooking on crutches blows. Also, make a written meds schedule for when you’re too loopy to remember what you’ve taken when. After a week your crutches mobile but tired and sore, and PT is surprisingly exhausting. Be gentle with yourself! I rewatched all of Crazy ExGirlfriend and Gilmore Girls over those weeks and had friends and family come for lunch dates since I had the most energy in the middle of the day, which helped a lot.
I have a saying that helps me
“What you practise, you permit”
If you ask for help, you permit others to ask for help. If you rough it alone, you permit others to rough it alone. Pick one.
I’ve had several knee surgeries and also live alone. These are my tips: use a backpack to carry things around the house while you’re on crutches, get groceries delivered, when you have surgery get it where your family lives or have someone come stay with you, stay ahead of the post-op pain by setting alarms when you’ll be due for your next dose even if it will be the middle of the night, use the ice machine, do all of the rehab they suggest, if you have pets ask someone else to watch them for the first week and then get a walker to take them on walks, boxer shorts, make sure you have every possible medication you might need before you have surgery, don’t trust the surgeons estimation of pain because they always understate. Depending on the surgery you may be able to bear weight within days of surgery or you might be fully off your leg for 6 weeks, but listen to the time table. Wear the brace until they say you can stop. Do not underestimate how helpful PT will be in getting your range of motion back, improving strength and lessening pain. Good luck!
“The barrister will arrive at noon” was definitely read in Lord Grantham’s voice lol.
Followed by “What is a week end?” a la Maggie Smith, haha.
Yes! Only a little sick…
The only thing missing is a cat on the bed.
Haha you’re just missing that you have to be the right level of sick- enough to clearly need to be in bed but not enough to not enjoy it. And also you’re missing someone to take care of you!
Take out the medicine and tissues and the title could be “Ideal Every-Day Anatomy.”
I was thinking the same thing. This pretty much described my perfect day, minus the medicine.
Oh how I miss sick days before kids. Sick days now are just doing the same stuff I always need to do, but while sick. Ha.
Yup. Says a mom of two trying to recover from a cold.
My exact thoughts 😀🥲
Oh Liz I was going to comment the same thing. I truly miss this now that I have kids
Yup currently trying to parent a 1 year old while sick. It does not look like this cartoon :(
Last Thanksgiving I was sick with a fever and had to send my husband and two kids to my parents house and miss out on all the fun, which was a huge bummer. But let me tell you, that sick day without two children was it’s own kind of vacation! I watched more TV in one day than I do all year, haha!
I feel so this. We have a 9 week old so we are still waking up every 3 hours overnight. As soon as my husband went back to work 2 weeks ago, my 3 y/o was out of daycare for being sick while I was also sick! Now my infant is sick and my husband is starting to feel the malaise. Dark times indeed.
Omg solidarity – I’m sick right now, and I have an almost two year old and an eleven week old l! I had a literal lol earlier this week thinking about what sick days used to look like. There are so many parenting things people warned us about that we haven’t found hard at all, but being sick while parenting young kids is no joke!!
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