Nailed it. By the lovely Grace Farris.
P.S. Parenting confessions and endearing wake-up calls.
My 4 year old is squarely in the knock knock phase and they all go something like this:
“Knock knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Chair”
“Chair who?”
“Chicken broth”
That’s the whole thing.
My tween current most common phrase and question to me:
“Those are not the lyrics”
“Did you hear that on cup of Jo?”
When I was in first grade, my class all gave presentations on African animals. I selected the *wait for it* dik-dik (a small and very cute antelope). My older siblings and all the fifth graders were dying laughing, and I had no clue.
I had the EXACT SAME EXPERIENCE in elementary school. I still feel embarrassed for my little innocent third grade self.
Emily this had me laughing until I was crying. Thanks for sharing!
Scatological – such a great word! It’s all about the flatulency and b-u-t-t at my house with a 7.5 year old boy! I just came across a FB memory of a picture my 2.5 year old colored at daycare of his ‘man poop’!! It started early and never ends!
maybe it’s just the way i say it but kids in my life seem to love “booty butt,” as in “don’t forget to wipe your booty butt!”
The croc picture is spot on 😅
Hahaha spot on, my 5yo son just asked for “fruit toots” for breakfast the other day, so now we all call Fruit Loops “Fruit Toots” and it makes everything better.
Our kids would be friends- my daughter calls her cereal “honey BUTT cheerios” and cracks up every time.
@Amy Webb lol hilarious, there’s a whole niche market of toilet humour named cereal just waiting to be explored!
Hahaha elementary school humor here at age 39. I wasn’t allowed to say fart, butt, or *most horrific* fart in front of family members in my own house. No shame, no apology nowadays. Freedom from all prudes! Although I will still blame all accidental farts in public on the baby so not full freedom lol.
And to get my newly minted four yr old to smile for any photos, we yell,”Dada has poop farts!” and it works every time.
Love this! COJ – a post request for HOW TO TALK TO KIDS — when you are not a parent yourself. I don’t have kids, but would love to be a better aunty. I have no idea how to talk to kids (never did… even when I was one).
Me this week, holding a 4 month old and making full eye contact: How are you?
I’m giggling because that’s exactly how my husband (and father of our 2 kids) talks to babies. I think it’s so endearing! And little ones need to hear full sentences and full diction, not just “baby talk,” so what you did was perfect! Even though I have a couple kids (now tweens) I STILL get intimidated when talking to other kids, though.
Omg! Haha, seconded this! I’m so awkward around kids.
I think talking to them like any other person is very effective and they probably love it! I’m sure you’re a wonderful aunty just because you asked this question.
You sound like a lovely aunty Madz! There’s no need to change who you are, children value authenticity above all else.
It’s not bad to talk to babies and toddlers like an adult. They need to hear regular language. It’s fun when they start babbling and you can say things like: oh, I agree, what else? and they just keep babbling and telling stories!
When they are a little older, you can ask them about things they like and just ask follow-up questions. Like, I heard you’re in baseball, tell me something you know about unicorns, what is your favorite video game?
I know you were asking sincerely, but your comment reminded me of a funny SNL skit about Duolingo for talking to kids! https://youtu.be/qsEsgp3H7CU?si=rlhp5ETsiYi7lath
I have always talked to kids very seriously and I swear they usually love me for it. Just be you, and maybe avoid curse words if they are in the copying phase!
Haha, same (said as a mother). My husband and I died at this snl skit because I wish that version of duo lingo existed lol l https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qsEsgp3H7CU
Good question! A 4 month old is a hard age to talk to. If there’s one thing I’ve learned as an aunty, it’s that it’s often just about getting down on their level (aka the floor) and letting them come to you. Then they usually end up starting convo about whatever toy / thing they’re interested in and you join in. Now that I’m an aunty to tweens / teenagers, I could also use advice on how to talk to them again – even if I ask them about their interests they aren’t very chatty…figure doing things can be better than talking sometimes but it is a conundrum!
This is so funny. When we had our baby and my husband was playing “games” with him immediately. I thought, “how does he know what to do??” I think it’s hard when you haven’t been around little ones. I think the answer is: anything! Babies don’t care! Googoogaga. Silly faces, peekaboo, this little piggy. Etc. I also got tips on what to say from baby books.
One of my favorite phases is definitely when you can just say “poop” or “fart” they bowl over cry-laughing, no set up needed.
… Just posted below that this is not my kind of humor, but what you wrote does sound hilarious 😀
And then I needed to pause typing this comment because my kid woke up and basically needed me to be present while he let out a fart 🙈
Spot on! I find #3 offensive. Uggh!
Me, too. Or at least, so absolutely unfunny that I don’t enjoy modern comedy movies. Just not my kind of humor. Looking forward to what my now-toddler will have to offer in the upcoming years 😆
When my 8th grade son gave an oral presentation on William and Caroling Herschel (discoverers of Uranus), he and his classmates were serious and engaged while the other parents and I desperately tried to hold it together in the audience.
“Because of the new discovery, King George the 3rd appointed Heschel court astronomer. Funds were provided in order to build new telescopes allowing astronomers to examine Uranus more closely.” I mean COME ON!
Is it possible I’m still in the scatological phase while my kid – and all his classmates- has moved on?
hahahaha I laughed so hard at this!
Former middle school teacher here who’s also married to a guy whose sense of humor usually matched the same grade level (which I find endearing).
I am literally roaring!!
HA. I’ve long held the theory that some people–and all men–never really outgrow scatological humor. No matter their age or where they go in life, they will always giggle at a bodily-function noise, even at the most somber of occasions. That’s where dad humor originates: in the minds of 8YO boys! God love ’em.
Now it‘s official. My sense of humor is stuck in Elementary School.