Mom’s Bag of Surprises

Thank goodness! I thought I was the only one who had a fossilized clementine in my bag! What about an apple that has been in there so long that it should be mushy, but somehow it’s pristine?

That’s all? very suprising! ;-)

all of these!! especially the clementine lol so perfect

reminds me of this perfect post from the funny/real/great jennifer garner showing her unpacking her bag of surprises after a road trip with three kids. to conclude, she eats found m&ms from the bottom of the bag with a found disposable fork: https://www.instagram.com/p/ClhETxdAwLz/

I’ve been a tote girl for over a decade, because you never know when you might need all the things! However, I’ve become a bit more intentional with the contents of said totes after an incident years ago. Next time you think you smell something burning in your bag, you’re not crazy – it is quite possible that there just might be an earring and a random piece of popcorn melting into the end of a 9v battery hot enough to burn your fingers….

The fossilized clementine is so so real! I pull them out of my daughter’s swim bag all the time, too. And like another commenter, the napkins on napkins make me feel seeeeeeen.

One soccer shin pad, fossilized candy,too many hair ties, a small paper daily diary with the front cover bent and ripped and that I never recorded a single appointment in , half a roll of tums, assorted coins from foreign trips over several years and half a dozen pens and highlighters none of which work! Plus always that widget of napkins!

LOL. Truth! I probably have a fossilized clementine in every shoulder bag I own. I thought I was the only one who did this until now.

Literally tossed clementine in that exact state from my backpack into the compost, then sat down to read Cup of Jo. HOW do you do that??

YES! This is so me. Minus the lollipop b/c kid is not old enough yet. Also, always, ALWAYS sand on the bottom of the backpack. No idea where it comes from.

hahaha!

I’m not a bag person, so it’s all in my pockets. In fact, my (childless) coworkers liked to play “What’s in Erin’s pockets?” on Monday mornings when my kids were small. Lego minifigs, dentist stickers, game pieces, food folded into paper napkins, kazoo, a single sock… you never knew what would be in there!

I bought myself a reasonably fancy (not second-mortgage fancy) handbag for my birthday. The inside is a nice pale grey colour. I opened a candy bar, ate a little, put it in the handbag. A few hours later- surprise! A melty puddle of chocolate at the bottom of my nice new bag. It was England in March, not warm enough to melt chocolate… or so I thought. Doh.

Yessssssssssss! + Band-aids and several lip balm options :P

The napkins! I feel seen! Also, extra socks. So.many.crumbs. Pebbles and sticks, carefully collected.

A wrapped cookie fell out of my bag at work.
Me: Oops, that’s my emergency cookie.
Colleague: Oh, do you have kids?
Me: …yes, but it’s MY emergency cookie.

goldfish dust
leaves
seashells from a 2021 that now smell absolutely vile

Pacifiers (either several or none at all, of course when needed the most), used cloth hankies, a toy the kids got at the dentist‘s, a piece of art made in kindergarten, sand at the bottom.

Petrified cough drops, mummified tissue, and the what’s that from.

So many things, but the worst was totally me, not my kids. I went out for Pho and didn’t use the fresh basil in my soup. I hate to waste, so I wrapped it in a napkin and put it in my purse. Sometime later, possibly weeks, I thought I was hallucinating that I could smell pizza every time I opened my purse. After a few days of that, I took a minute to investigate and found a tablespoon of dried basil flakes at the bottom of my purse.

Uno. Sunscreen. Pencils. Chapstick. Small pad of paper.

This is probably the best group to ask for this rec: a cute, fun (maybe a bright color?) bag that isn’t a diaper bag but has some sort of pocket for a kids’ water bottle. I’m over my diaper-bag backpack and want something smaller, but I don’t want a leaky bottle floating around!

Things I have found in my bag: many decrepit grocery lists, a little plastic container of Cheerios, a superhero cape (my son went through a phase in preschool where he wore his capes everywhere), tiny bottle of cucumber-scented hand sanitizer, random bits of glitter that came off someone’s art project.

Accidentally unwrapped bandaids. Barrettes. Many chapsticks.

fat stack of paper napkins from fast food restaurant
random toy from birthday party goody bag
errant crunchy snack specimen
dead leaves and pine needles

I once found a bottle of wine in my bag, a “capricious tote” in the spirit of a recent episode of Succession. It had been there for at least a week from my book club meeting, nestled amongst my just-in-case
napkins and fruit leathers, waiting to be discovered like a heavy glass Easter egg. I still don’t know how I didn’t notice the weight of that entire bottle of wine for upwards of a week!