Four Fun Things

The friend date post is so timely! I moved to a new city and a new job in the midst of the pandemic, and when things began to open up this spring, I started asking people on “friend dates”–walks around local lakes, coffee on shop patios, perusing the farmer’s market. “Friend dating” has made the task of meeting new friends in a new city less intimidating…just like dating–some friend dates work and grow into something, and some don’t. But there doesn’t seem to be as much pressure! I always lead with a compliment and I am up front about asking the person on a “friend date,” and I haven’t been rejected yet! My far away friends and long-distance boyfriend now routinely check in on me and ask, “have you gone on any friend dates this week?” Could not recommend the practice enough!

These comments give me so much hope on finding friends as an adult. I have been so lonely lately and really craving some female connection. I’m in the Portland, Maine area if anyone is looking for a buddy. Walks, workouts, book clubby stuff, or just a glass of wine, I’m in!!

Wow the Rescue – I heard an interview on NPR with the filmmakers and I believe they had to sedate the kids to get them out. Such a powerful story of overcoming and our shared humanity. Like you, I’m afraid to watch it.

Inspired by how brave ya’ll are with “putting yourself out there”!

If anyone is in the Western Massachusetts area and would like to meet up for a hike/walk, bike ride, coffee/tea please let me know! After having my sweet baby girl during Covid it’s been so hard to meet new friends!

Hi everyone! I’m in Denver, CO and always up for meeting new people…I recently started indoor climbing and would love a climbing buddy!

Reading all the comments and love seeing the connections CoJ readers are making who reside in the same area!

Anyone living in Kansas City?

I’m excited to move there in a couple months and have zero friends. Would love to meet up with anyone who also enjoys: reading, hot yoga, walking/running, drinking tea…

I’ve started using the 4 fun things as a birthday card theme for friends, like “4 fun things about you this year.” Thanks for this format.

Also, I just wanted to add some fun things after a week in California! I loved Indian springs pool and Molina central (thank you for those recommendations). Four more:
1. Calistoga bike shop wine tour
2. Petaluma (overall) and the slush sampler at Wicked slush . Guava and coconut or sour mango + vanilla for the win.
3. Sf MoMA “Santa Barbara” exhibit. So many good exhibits right now. The Diego Rivera mural made me catch my breath. The border wall exhibit. Wow.
4. The documentary ” Rock and Roll President” about how rock stars and Willie Nelson helped jimmy carter get elected ( available on Delta flight entertainment)

Making friends as an adult is so tough! Anyone in Baltimore? I’ve lived here nearly 14 years and still finding it hard to find good female friends in mid/late 40s.

Making friends as an adult is challenging. My funniest experience is when someone returned a birthday card I sent her! It wasn’t due to religious beliefs as I had checked that out. We had coffee four times or so – animated, interesting conversations. We both had initiated going for coffee twice. She talked about her birthday. I sent a card. She returned the card saying “I don’t want to have to remember your birthday.” I said that was okay with her not tracking my birthday & that she could keep the card. She insisted I take the card back. I took the card. We didn’t have coffee again – ha!

My friend Pat made a new friend Leslie. Their dad /mom got together at assisted living! Over many Happy Hours they became friends, makes sense, right? So many of us “seniors” spent a day or two a week visiting our parents. 💟🎃

Hi- Anyone in the New York City area who is interested in meeting new friends?

I would love to make some friends. I found Covid threw a wrench into the friendships I had locally. Anyone here in Kingston, Ontario, Canada? I love being outdoors, reading, hikes, good chats.

Another vote to read All Thirteen! AMAZING book! So fascinating. And of course the recent corresponding Fresh Air episode 5091 Inside the Thailand Cave Rescue!

I dunno about some of you but I’ve been desperately scrolling through these comments looking for people who have mentioned they live in my area and wanna hang out. Okay, maybe “desperately” is a little intense but you know what I mean! Probably a bit of a stretch, but if anyone is in the Norfolk/Virginia Beach area of Virginia, give me a holler!

Here’s my vulnerable little shout to this lovely corner of the internet….

Brand new to the Bay Area after a cross country move. All my people are miles and time zones away. I’m back in an academic world now after working for a while, and so many of the people I’m meeting are in their early/mid 20s and in a slightly different stage of life (I’m in my early 30s/partnered).

COJers in the BAY…are you out there? What’s the best way to make friends here?

I’m at the opposite end of the friendship spectrum – trying to decide if I should end a 40 year friendship. Over the years we have agreed to disagree on many of the bigs ones: abortion, guns and how we raised our kids. I always appreciated her view on issues and felt I learned a lot from her. Yet, the mask mandate in our state has brought us to a point we can’t get past. I’m so sad and keep wondering how this happened. I’m doing a lot of soul searching today. By the way, we met in high school when our lockers were next to each other.

My bestie of ten years picked me up at a work event! She saw me from across the room and after a few minutes of talking, asked if I would like to join her for a “lady date.” We went to a Thai restaurant the next week, talked for hours, and the rest, as they say, is history! One of the best things to happen to me for so many reasons, including the fact that I ended up meeting my fiance at her wedding! :)

I <3 friend dates for both new and long term friends. I recently starting having a "do art" friend date where we pick a prompt out of a cup and sit on the couch next to each other and sketch.

I am so delighted by these wonderful stories of straightforward friend ask-outs! I live in the DC area and tried this a few times and failed pretty miserably. The worst was starting a new job and after a couple months, finding out that a woman that I thought I’d been clicking with was also an avid baker. She did me a big favor and I thanked her by baking something for her and leaving it on her desk. Instead of things being hunky-dory from there, this woman started a rumor in the office that I was into her. Not the way I wanted to start off at a company! This happened a couple other times but to a lesser degree — I put myself out there with cool new people and was met with awkwardness at the suggestion of meeting up later. Like others have said here, it’s their loss, but it feels more personal and leaves quite the sting.

Anyone in Brussels who wants to meet up for a friends’ date? It would be super cool to find a like minded person to hang out with.
I love window shopping, having a drink at a pub, watching classic movies and talking about all kinds of things :D

Ham and chips salad? No. Just no. I can already tell that The Rescue will make me feel extremely nervous and claustrophobic, but I’m still going to watch it. So there.

I love this!

I think making friends is easy but making good friends is hard.

How do people have time for all this new friend making!? I do feel somewhat isolated from the closeness I once had with my friends pre-kids/pre-pandemic, but between work, family obligations, spending time with my toddler, self-care whatever that is, and finding time for my marriage, struggling to keep up with and see the friends I have (while still being covid cautious and not really going out), and being an introvert, I really have nothing else to give. I think if someone new asked me on a friend date I’d decline, not necessarily bc I don’t like them, but because I don’t see how I could dedicate energy to starting new friendships.

I want to be friends with whatever previous COJ commenter recommended Naomi Novik’s “A Deadly Education.” Not a usual reader of fantasy, but I couldn’t put it (or its sequel) down. Whoever you are…you’ve made my reading afternoons much richer!

Any Torontonians up for a new friend? I like books, podcasts, workout classes, my pup Franklin, and the Cup of Jo community! :)