Eleven-year-old Toby and eight-year-old Anton are growing tall and lanky, but the wacky comments that come out of their mouths crack us up. Here are a few recent gems…

While talking to the boys about good behavior, I said, “Anton, sometimes you can really have a temper.” His reply? “I know, Mommy. It’s because I’m a Cancer.”

A natural salesperson, Toby can sometimes sound like an exec at a Fortune 500 company. At an Indian restaurant, he said to me, “I’m in the mood for a mango lassi and cheese naan. And I think we can get that done.” Then the boys hosted a lemonade stand, and Toby called out enticements to passersby: “It’s medium hot out, come get your lemonade!” “Definitely not as good as Poppy’s Café but still a nice treat!” “It’s sweet, it’s sour, it’s lemonade!!!”

anton with dogs

Anton, pondering: “I don’t know why bank robbers wear bank robber outfits. That’s so obvious! They should just wear regular clothes!”

I love the brimming confidence of eight-year-olds. One recent morning, Anton asked, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how fast do you think I am? I think I’m a 9.5. Because I’m not Usain Bolt… but I’m really, really fast.”

Recently, Anton has been begging to get his ears pierced. We told him that he has to wait until he’s 15, and until then he can wear magnetic earrings (which he loves), but as one last gasp he wrote this list of reasons why he should be allowed to get them done:

What funny things have the kids in your life said recently? I’d love to hear…

P.S. Toby and Anton in conversation, and how to talk to kids about sex, death, consent and everything else.