Relationships

What’s Your Rose, Thorn and Bud?

Mindy Project BJ Novak

This past year, as we’ve had sooooo many dinners as a family, we have started the age-old tradition of rose, thorn, bud. Want to play it? Here’s how it works…

Basically, everyone goes around and shares a rose (a positive thing that happened that day), a thorn (a negative thing that happened that day) and a bud (something they’re looking forward to).

The conversation starter works much better than vaguely asking “how was your day?” Once I read that asking your young child about their busy day at school is like asking an adult, “How were the last 20 years of your life?”

I love hearing about the boys’ ups and downs, like having a new crush or dreading a science project (although Anton often says his rose is “screen time,” groan). Also, it’s nice to share mine, even though I’m always such a Mom™: “My rose is hanging out with you guys!!!!!!”

So! On this spring afternoon, I’d love to ask you: What’s the rose, thorn and bud in your life right now? Generally, what are you happy about, worried about and looking forward to? I would love to hear. xo

P.S. Six ways to get your kids to talk at dinner, and happiness vs. wholeness.

  1. This is an old thread but I just read it and I wanted to add. During the pandemic I was laid off due to Covid and I took the opportunity to follow my dream of becoming a graphic designer. So after a half of year of working at a terrible job that got my foot in the door of the design world, I got hired this past month at my absolute dream job! It’s so amazing to do something you never thought you could, and you only envied other people doing. I’ve never felt so proud, grateful and ecstatic in my life. So my rose is my amazing job that I will never ever take for granted, my thorn is literally nothing because I can’t complain with such luck and my bud is seeing what this job looks like in the coming years!

    Hope everyone pursues their dreams even if they don’t think they’re good enough because you absolutely are!

  2. Meg says...

    I play this game with my high school students. It’s been a great one to connect over Zoom! They end up requesting to play so we can check in with each other. Students follow up with their classmates, too.

  3. Jane I. says...

    I’m late to the party, but I finally have something to share.
    My rose is that my husband has been making breakfast for us every morning and it’s really nice to take the extra 5 minutes to get my eyebrows just right.
    My thorn is that it’s warming up here in the desert, We don’t really have spring, it just goes from cold to blazing. It was a subtle 90 degrees yesterday. Kill me now.
    My bud is that I FINALLY got the courage to ask for time off work – a LONG sabbatical because my job SUCKS right now and I have no support there. It starts Monday and I can’t wait to read books again.

  4. Erica says...

    We do this too only we call it “High, low, Buffalo” :)

  5. NJ says...

    Rose: spending time with my partner and my fam, both biological and by choice. And being truly happy and excited about the degree I’m working on.
    Thorn: I caught a nasty cold, and I have so many uni assignments and so little focus for them because of said cold.
    Bud: I’m looking forward to a clothes swap party this weekend and patiently waiting for summer, hopefully with fewer covid restrictions, when I can go to the beach every morning.

  6. Suzanne says...

    Rose: The weather-sunshine! Outdoor walks! No coats! May in Philadelphia is perfect.
    Thorn: the gun violence happening in our city right now. I’m an elementary school principal and the gun violence has impacted my students and staff in deeply personal ways. It’s so difficult to witness the trauma, try to support as best we can, but feel so helpless.
    Bud: My wedding in September and honeymoon to Portugal—it’s sounding like we will actually get there!! Yay for vaccines!

  7. Sarah says...

    My kids thank God for screen time every single evening when we pray before dinner. Makes me feel like I’m not instilling the right values but at least they’re thankful.

  8. Alison says...

    Years ago one of your commenters mentioned their “Wow, Pow, and Chow” game which I adopted with my son. Similar to rose, bud and thorn, it includes the best thing you ate that day, which my son loved. Now my son is a teenager but we still do it from time-to-time, so thank you Cup of Jo commenter!

  9. Cris says...

    rose: a day without a health scare on the family side is always a good one.
    thorn: my mom’s cancer getting worse despite the treatments and how we will deal with this moving forward, as my dad panics with everything and is not that autonomous.
    bud: i’m almost 40 weeks pregnant with my first child, so we will get to meet him any day now

  10. Lisa says...

    Rose: I wrote a new poem that I keep coming back to.
    Thorn: I have been writing poetry instead of the novel I should be working on…
    Bud: We joined our neighborhood pool that is a ten minute walk away and I can’t wait for it to open!

  11. Vivian says...

    I am so happy to have completed my best workout since getting Covid this winter, I actually felt good both during and afterwards!
    I am worried about a close friend who is going through a divorce and a lot of personal development- it’s hard to be half a world away (literally) and know that there truly isn’t anything I can do besides listening and being there for her (virtually).
    I am so excited for next Saturday when my husband and I are flying to Belize- 8 days on a remote island in a small cabana sounds about the perfect way to celebrate being fully vaccinated.

  12. Alison D says...

    I love this! I do this with my students, but rarely think about it in a more adult context.
    Rose: I flew to California yesterday and have gotten to see my sister and mom for the first time in almost a year. It’s especially special to be with my sister on her birthday and know I will be with my mom next week on mother’s day.
    Thorn: I wrote a novel and went on submission with it through an agent in September. It now looks like it’s probably not going to be bought by a publishing house. It is my third time this has happened, and it’s hard to feel so close to a dream and like I’ve put so much work into it and wonder if it will ever work out.
    Bud: I’m starting to revise my book and finding a lot of joy in the writing process again. I also found out that I will start teaching in person again June 21st and I’m so excited to be off the zoom screen and back in the classroom with kids.

    • margaret says...

      Alison, I just want to say congratulations on finishing THREE novels. WOW! So many of us want to write and don’t finish things. You keep finishing things even though you’re still waiting for the final result you want. I admire you! A lot!

  13. Emma says...

    Rose: this is so corny but I feel like I can tell my internet stranger friends…my rose is my wonderful boyfriend. It’s only been 6 months but I met his family last weekend and it was so fun and comfortable. We are definitely in the annoying (to everyone else lol) honeymoon phase and I just love him.

    Thorn: work just feels so uncertain sometimes. I work in PR and every day is wildly different and full of uncertainty. A bit of a mirror to how the last 14 months have been.

    Bud: moving to a new, spacious apartment with a den, fireplace and patio. Every time I think about it I get a thrill!

    • KFA says...

      Awww Emma, so happy for you. Enjoy the honeymoon phase. It’s a wonderful place to be. :-)

      I hear you on the uncertainty in your workplace. Just keep doing your best (which is enough!!) and try not to place your attention on what could happen. Easy for me to say but I like encouraging friends (internet strangers too) because I try to take my own advice and do this too!

      YAY to your new dwelling.

  14. Linda says...

    rose- grateful for my job, healthy, family and beautiful two sons.
    thorn- waiting on my dad’s cancer prognosis
    bud- my glow up! working out and doing well- 40 will be the new 30!

  15. Martha Patterson says...

    Rose: Getting to jobby my Congresspeople on education issues…virtually of course!
    Bud: Looking forward to spending the next couple days with my union family! (virtually, of course)
    Thorn: Mammogram today…who likes them…put all is good.

  16. Kylee says...

    Rose: A beautiful warm sunny day here in the Pacific Northwest and watching my daughter dancing in the grass.
    Thorn: More rain in the forecast.
    Bud: An upcoming trip to Maui after my husband and I are fully vaccinated!

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  19. Lanette says...

    My Rose is my Peloton bike… during the pandemic it really has helped my mental and physical state through the quarantine/lockdown. To just get on that bike almost daily and try to forget about everything has been important.

    My thorn is that my dad has entered hospice care and is really struggling with pain as his liver cancer has metastasized to his bones. It’s been extremely difficult to see my independent father go through this long 3 year battle.

    My bud is that sometime in the near future my husband and I can go on our long awaited (and postponed due to Covid) anniversary trip to New Orleans. I’ve never been there and I’m really looking forward to it!

  20. Karen says...

    My rose: I accepted a job that was a real stretch for me mid-pandemic (because why not add something else) and I feel now, 6+ months in like I’m really growing and hitting my stride.

    My thorn: My family is pressuring me to fly to Florida so my grandparents can meet their 1 year old great granddaughter and I don’t feel comfortable with mass transit before she is vaccinated and don’t know what to do.

    My bud: All the literal buds on the trees and in my garden! Spring is finally coming in Northern VT and I am so looking forward to everything that comes with it.

  21. Kate says...

    Rose: My husband and I have an accepted offer on our first house!
    Thorn: We are currently negotiating the results of the inspection on our first house! Gah!
    Bud: We are (hopefully) closing on our first house on May 10th.

  22. Cyana says...

    What a great idea! Today’s rose is that it is the perfect spring day in Seattle (warm, no rain, flowers on fleeeek!), my thorn is that my second vaccine dose seems to be wreaking havoc with my period, and my bud is that I’m super excited to use my newly delivered inflatable paddle board with my kiddo as much as possible until rainy season starts again.

    • Rachel says...

      Thorn: I had really unusual irregular period symptoms after my 2nd dose just like another commenter. I had a 2nd period 12 days after the first period ended and spotting after romantic time with my husband. I worked myself into a full google death scroll and made several doctors appointments. ROSE: hooray I feel comfortable going to the doctor now that I’m fully vaccinated! . My friend then sent me an article about women having strange period symptoms after the vaccine. BUD: I felt relieved to receive that info and booked a massage ( another shout out for the vaccine)!

  23. Annie says...

    My rose: I’m about to hit my 10K on my training plan. I’ve run a 10K in the past before, but this time I feel very strong and healthy doing it. The mental benefits I’m getting from running this time around has been so important and helpful in such a stressful past year.

    My thorn: my career feels like it’s in shambles. I work as a freelance musician in NYC and haven’t really worked in over a year. I’m hopeful things will start returning in the fall, but nothing is coming up yet, and 2021 is as empty as 2020 ended up being.

    My bud: I’m almost 2 weeks post-second dose vaccination. And I’m finally going to be able to see my father. My mom died when I was young so he is my only parent, and I haven’t seen him since January 3rd, 2020. I cannot wait to give him a hug.

    • Mimi says...

      Sending you all the best, Annie. I’m an orchestral musician and yes, our field in general is in shambles I am secretly so angry at those refusing to get vaccinated, as herd immunity will need to be achieved before big theatres can reopen. Sending hugs!! and all the best wishes for your visit with your dad <3

  24. ARC says...

    Rose: getting my second vaccination tomorrow! The beautiful spring weather.
    Thorn: having some health worries. Ugh.
    Bud: just booked our first family weekend in I don’t even know how long and will enjoy a cabin in the forrest in a few weeks. Even the teenagers wanted to have a different scenery for two days …

  25. Julie says...

    Rose: my new puppy. He is the most joyous lovable baby goof and he makes every day better.
    Thorn: work has been stressful and I would like to start losing this pandemic weight.
    Bud: my husband and I are planning a road trip through New England this fall. I want to look at the coast, stay in nice hotels, eat fried clams and drink cold beer near water, and get the hell out of my neighborhood.

  26. Amy says...

    Rose: I just started my first year-long sabbatical after teaching at the university level for 20 years. I’m going to make so much stuff (I’m an artist). Teaching remotely during the pandemic has been very taxing (and surprisingly wonderful and inspiring in many ways).
    Thorn: Our older son’s anxiety is very challenging for him and our entire family. We’re seeing specialists who can hopefully help us, and have camps and in-person school planned for the future.
    Bud: Looking forward to traveling to see family, friends, and for art again, now that the grown-ups in the house are fully inoculated.

  27. I love this!

    My rose is (not to be too literally) all the plants growing in my garden. Last year I bought a lot of native plants at a local sale and some of them did not seem like they were going to make it but they’re all coming back!

    My thorn is that as much as I love our sweet house (I’ll be forever grateful to have had a happy, comfortable, affordable home during the pandemic), it is too small to have a dining room table. I want to do puzzles and have dinner parties!

    My bud is a staycation my boyfriend and I are planning for next week. We’re going to take a three day weekend and get re-acquainted with our town now that we’re both vaccinated. We’re going to revisit favorite restaurants, go record shopping, play pinball, and get to know the city we live in after a year of having to basically stay at home!

  28. Katie says...

    My rose, thorn, and bud are all the same – I am expecting my first baby and nearly done with the first trimester. My rose is that of course I’m happy (it took us a while to get pregnant), the thorn is that I feel constantly reminded by all the things that can go wrong (including yesterday at my doctor’s appointment), and the bud is all the excitement associated with this new adventure. It’s hard not to let worry overtake the happiness but I am trying!

    • Hannah says...

      Katie – congratulations! I had a baby 4 months ago and was plagued with anxiety most of my pregnancy. I was so happy and also so concerned. And then felt guilty as though I wasn’t enjoying it as much as I should. Being on the other side, filled with gratitude as I hold my boy, I am sending you lots of love and grace for the journey ahead. However things evolve, you have what you need and you are more than enough.

    • Hannah M. says...

      Congrats Katie! I relate to feeling anxious during my first trimester (I was anxious about a miscarriage and the results of our NIPT blood screening, first time they came back with low fetal fraction, my dr reccomended I take it again bc the results couldve been due to taking it too early and then the second time was fine). Hope as time goes on you feel less anxious and are able to enjoy your pregnancy!

  29. Libbynan says...

    Rose: That my family has come through the pandemic safely and relatively untouched both physically and emotionally. We are none of us who or what we were, but we have survived.
    Thorn: My ninety-one-year-old mom is entering hospice care next week and we all know we will be losing her at last. It’s a sad time, but we realize how lucky we have been with her and what a fortunate life she has had.
    Bud: I have a close-knit, loving family including two bright happy great-grandkids and we hopefully have many good years ahead to enjoy.

  30. M says...

    Rose: I am graduating college in May in person! My mom and boyfriend will be my 2 guests (we are only allowed 2) and this will be the first time that they will be meeting due to Covid!
    Thorn: Sometimes I get really in my head about my relationships and future. I snap out of it pretty quickly, but in the moment it is hard not to judge myself.
    Bud: I will most likely be doing a public interest fellowship in NYC next year! I am excited to be helping out in the world instead of feeling sort of helpless as a college student.

  31. Amanda says...

    Loved reading all the comments on my lunch break today! We do this activity at home, during dinner!
    Rose: Cooking *from scratch* a homemade pasta dinner last night that would make someone’s grandmother proud(for context, this is coming from someone who is content with peanut butter toast for most meals lol).
    Thorn: Finances. Can we really afford the 2nd baby? Did my stress surrounding this cause the miscarriage last month? With only four weeks of paid leave saved up, will I actually feel ready to go back to school after that?
    Bud: Upcoming summer vacation from school(3rd grade teacher here). Sorry parents but teacher’s are exhausted. I’m not sure if its related to the school year we just had, the pandemic, or what. I understand most adults, most everyone feels similar right now. I really can’t wait for the upcoming summer days with my 2.5 year old son and to just soak him in.

    • Elena says...

      Amanda, I’m so sorry for your loss. Enjoy your very very VERY well deserved vacation. :)

  32. Stacy says...

    I’m going to do mine in a different order since my bud and thorn make more sense that way.
    Rose – Watching how smart and silly my 2 year old is.
    Bud – A new position at my work that allows me to not have to work nights or weekends (first time in my adult working life!) and I will be able to spend more time with said 2 year old!
    Thorn – A co-worker resigning is making me nervous that the date we set up for my hour change is going to get taken away from me! It’s a small company and while I’m in a new position, I’m still on a retail showroom floor.

  33. Alyssa says...

    Rose – Absolutely nailing a work presentation yesterday that will ultimately benefit myself and my entire team!
    Thorn – Half of my team is quarantined due to Covid which is making scheduling their time really difficult.
    Bud – First weekend in town in awhile, can’t wait to just relax, clean, organize, meal plan and prep!

  34. Jess says...

    I do this with my girls, but we call it “Peach and Pit.” It started as “Peak and Pit” but after my oldest revealed that she’d always thought it was “peach,” as in, sweet like a peach, we officially changed the name. :)
    My girls almost never come up with a pit- and that’s my peach!

  35. Leah says...

    Thorn: the street heckler’s comments as I walked to the dentist this morning at 7:30am
    Rose: I just finished a wonderful and life-affirming gem of a novel that I tore through in 24 hours (The Midnight Library by Matt Haig)
    Bud: This weekend I’m moving into a new flat that I’ve rented for the next six months, and where I’m taking the summer off to write a book manuscript that I’ve been pondering for, oh, seven or eight years. Feeling hopeful/apprehensive/excited.

  36. My thorn is that I’m really ill, my rose is that I’m not in pain RIGHT NOW, and that surgery is in sight, and my bud is that next week I get to see the sea!

  37. Jess says...

    Rose: Not working 60+ work weeks due to Covid forcing more lax hours.
    Bud: House hunting with my partner.
    Thorn: Dealing with my sister’s mental illness and the havoc it wreaks on our family.

    Bouquet: This online community, the physical health of my family members and friends, and the coming of SUMMER!

    • Beverly Hsu says...

      Aww Jess! Love that you included a bouquet :)

  38. Ashley says...

    We do something similar … peaks and pits. Even our two year old shares something every night (which is almost always going outside).

  39. Suzy says...

    My rose is that the weather is finally getting nicer and I planted some flowers in our front yard.
    My thorn is I found out my 3yo is being bullied in preschool and has tried to hurt himself to come home.
    My bud is we have a little vacation road trip planned and my toddlers have never been on a vacation before (they did go places but they were so small they can’t remember it) so they are very excited to sleep in a hotel (sleep! Ha! Hope they do sleep).

    • Miranda says...

      Ooof Suzy your thorn! I am so so sorry. I have a 3 yr old too, and I can’t imagine how painful that must have been to learn. Good luck!

  40. Camille says...

    Such a good idea!
    Typically, when I ask in the evening “how was your day” to my husband, since he cannot tell me much about his job (confidentiality blablabla…), he gives me the weather : oh, today was hot, today was so windy…. and our toddler lists the kids who got a bowbow at daycare. Oh well…

    My rose at the moment are the ceramic courses I am following and where I have so much fun and discover my artistic side.
    My thorn is seeing everyday in the news the mess my family is facing in Europe with the covid situation and the difficulty they have to get vaccinated.
    My bud is dreaming about our next travel to Europe once it is possible again. Haven’t seen my family in TWO years now.

    xoxo

  41. Courtney says...

    Without the Oxford comma, I thought this post was asking two people named Bud and Thorn what their rose was :)

    Rose: I’m going to see a friend tomorrow in person! We’re going to have coffee outside, and then get pedicures! (We’re both fully immune)

    Bud: We’re going to Maine next week. We’ll still be working and the kids will be doing school, but we’ll be out of our house, spending time with my dad, seeing family, and just being in my favorite place in the world.

    Thorn: can’t think of one right now, which is kind of amazing all things considered?

    • Emma says...

      Oxford comma. <333

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahaha we don’t use Oxford commas and it’s the biggest debate among our team!

  42. Alice says...

    My mum always used to ask “Any news, gossip, or scandal!?” at the dinner table once we hit our teens. It was the BEST way to get us talking about all the nonsense happening at school!

    But in answer to your quesiton:
    Rose- The absolutely delicious leek, courgette, and wild garlic soup I made for lunch. So spring-y, so delicious!
    Thorn- SO MANY MEETINGS. I’m honestly exhausted from all the Zoom (and I used Zoom a LOT pre-pandemic) and constantly ready for a nap.
    Bud- hilariously, given the Thorn above, but a Zoom wine tasting with some friends this evening! We all got the same letterbox kit delivered and I’m very excited.

    • Em says...

      Alice! If you see this, could you please give us your soup recipe? My mouth is watering :)

    • Alice says...

      Oh, absolutely Em!! It’s a bit of a variation of this soup: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2012/apr/04/wild-garlic-courgette-mint-soup

      But I tweaked a lot, haha! So I did the following:

      Sautee two medium leeks (rinsed and sliced into 1cm rounds) in a good drizzle of olive oil and a tbsp of butter until softened- about 5 minutes. Then add two sliced medium-sized courgettes and around 6 new potatoes (leftovers from last night’s dinner, so mine were pre-cooked, but raw would work!), and continue to cook for another 5-ish minutes. Season with lots of salt and pepper, then add enough vegetable stock to cover all of the veggies, and simmer until the courgette (and, if needed, potatoes!) are soft. Then take off the heat, add about 100g of sliced wild garlic and a handful of mint leaves, and blend until smooth! (I needed to add a little extra water as mine was a bit thick, but yours may vary)

      If you don’t have access to wild garlic, the same quantity of spinach plus 4 crushed garlic cloves would give a very similar effect! Hope you enjoy :)

    • Em says...

      Thank you Alice! I can’t wait to try my hand at this recipe this weekend :) I’ve started to compile a recipe log of my favourite recipes from cup of jo – grateful to you, Alice, and all readers! (Jo and Jenny too, of course <3)

  43. Vava says...

    Rose: my husband is back from a whirlwind road trip to his deceased mother’s house to pick up some treasures.
    Thorn: Some of these treasures STINK! Like old house/old lady musty smell.
    Bud: Spring is here, things are blooming and it’s beautiful here in Western Oregon.

  44. R says...

    Rose: I’m officially vaccinated + my 2 week window as of today!

    Thorn: Not feeling fulfilled at all at work. I’ve spent so much time lately on administrative tasks that I’m not paid (or excited) to do, and I’m not really getting to dig into the work that I actually love doing.

    Bud: My aunt and uncle are also fully vaccinated now, and they’re driving in to visit this weekend–I can’t wait to spend the weekend catching up with them, eating coffee cake and drinking coffee together in the mornings, and playing tons of games.

  45. EH says...

    Rose: I have recently taking up needlepointing as a way to keep my hands and mind busy (great anxiety-relieving activity) and I feel like I am finally hitting my stride and am proud of what I have made!

    Thorn: I recently started a new job and am in that awkward stage of waiting for your new team to trust you and your work. The day is coming, I know, it just takes awhile to get there!

    Bud: My boyfriend and I are moving in together this weekend after two years of dating long distance (yippee!) and I look forward to doing all the mundane things with the man I love: waking up next to each other every morning, drinking coffee and swapping sections of the NYT, walking our dog around the neighborhood, cooking for more than one person (aka not having to eat leftovers for four days straight!)…so many little but big things!

    • K says...

      Gosh I love the way you described your “Bud”. You basically summed up my situation when I moved in with my long-distance boyfriend. Good luck :)

  46. B says...

    We do a similar, happy thing, sad thing, so exciting thing, make someone else feel good thing.

    My rose, seeing so many friendly faces at work, finally.
    Thorn, overworked, not being able to say no or ask for help.
    Bud, warmer weather and all of the fun with my 4 beautiful babies!

  47. Louise says...

    Rose: 1st vaccine app coming up next Tuesday and I’m here for it! Also, my husband and I are going strong as always, even with a huge family to feed and two demanding businesses. Things are starting to get easier financially. Spring is here! I feel grounded in my life.
    Thorn:
    I miss my friends.
    Bud: I’m planning our holidays in October. Italy, the coast, pizza and pasta. Can’t wait!

  48. Eve says...

    Rose: my 7 week old rainbow baby who is such a joy

    Thorn: niggling financial worries. Having a baby is expensive!

    Bud: I’m going to stay with my parents next week while my husband is away with work, and while I’m there I’ll get to see my granny and lots of friends for the first time since pre-Covid, and introduce them to the little one. I can’t wait!

    Love this idea, I’m going to do it with my little girl when she is older!

  49. dahlia says...

    We have friends who share a home and dinners with another family and who practice this every night at dinner. I notice how this allows us to be easeful as guests; attention is shared and patterned and conversation is easy. It feels so simple, loving, and fair. And you get to hear from all the children!

    • Whitney says...

      My daughter’s name is Dahlia. I get so excited whenever I run across another person with that name. She hopes to meet another Dahlia. She is 11 and hasn’t yet!

  50. Jess Wyatt says...

    I love this! I run a youth club on Monday nights and throughout lockdown it has been on Zoom (bummer). Each week we start with ‘highs and lows’ where they say what their high point and low point of the last week has been. It has helped us talk about the stuff that is really hard for them (loved ones dying of COVID, people losing jobs, arguments with friends, stuff at home) and the things that are keeping them going (making a new friend, birthdays, FINALLY going out with their crush, seeing their friends socially distanced at the skate park). If I ask them an open question the response is always “dunno” but highs and lows gets them talking like nothing else!

  51. Alicia says...

    Rose: My two and a half year old daughter has started asking What is that? And I love having to describe the most mundane objects.

    Thorn: grieving my father’s death is taking al my energy.

    Bud: we are going to spend a long weekend in nature next week!

    • Susannah says...

      Sending warm thoughts and strength for you in your grief Alicia xo

    • Laura says...

      My dad died when my daughter had just turned two and her energy and inquisitiveness about life were such a balm to my grief riddled soul. Sending you love as you navigate your grief.

    • Alicia says...

      Thank you Susannah and Laura

  52. Janey says...

    Rose – receiving my first sewing machine as a birthday gift and making a face mask and a skirt without messing up!!
    Thorn – my youngest son hating being back at school and wishing we were back in lockdown
    Bud – planning our move out of the city to the countryside. A garden! More animals! Space!!

    • Erin says...

      Welcome to the wonderful world of sewing, Janey!!

  53. Amanda says...

    From Auckland, New Zealand (for seasonal context):
    ROSE: Autumnal colors in full force
    THORN: Waiting on bone biopsy results that have put my life on pause
    BUD: We’re under contract on a house, and I have a ton of happy anticipation for some minor renovation to make it our own and for the years I hope you spend in it, watching the kids grow up in the garden, watching the sun rise and set through its windows, reading some fabulous books in its nooks and crannies, and laying down sweet memories all around.

    • Alexandra says...

      Amanda, sending good thoughts for the biopsy. Hugs from California!

    • Amanda says...

      Thank you, Alexandra. I’ll find out May 12th. Fingers crossed!

  54. Dana says...

    I was an RA in college, and at section meetings we always called it our “sexy gardner” instead of our bud! The imagery of a cute gardner somewhere in the garden where you also encounter your rose and thorn was so delightful. And, since it was college, about 90% of the time people’s sexy gardner was an actual person!

    • Amanda says...

      Love it!!

  55. Whitney says...

    We do a similar thing at dinner most nights, but ours is Amazing, Hilarious, Disaster! I can’t claim credit for this trio of words, not sure where I came across it, maybe one of Jenny Rosenstrach’s books? (I have them all)

    The Hilarious and Disaster always bring out the best stories from the kids and I also highly recommend following up with a “why?” as another commenter mentioned.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      That’s so cute!

  56. Kate says...

    My partner and I started doing roses, thorns, buds, and loves (something we love about each other) soon after we started dating. He’s a pretty reticent guy, and this was an easy way for us to connect. We did them with his daughter, too, when she was with us on the weekends, and she loved the ritual, but it became really important when, four years ago, when she was 4 years old, she unexpectedly came to live with us full time. Her grief at no longer living with her bio mom was so intense she couldn’t access it head on, and doing roses, thorns, buds, and loves with her at bedtime was a way for her to talk about how much she missed Mommy, what she was scared of, what she needed from us, etc.

    Almost a year ago my stepdaughter started spending every other week with her bio mom, which has been wonderful, and last fall my partner and I split up, but on the weeks my stepdaughter is with her dad the three of have dinner and do bedtime together every night, including roses, thorns, buds, and loves. Not only has our nightly custom given my stepdaughter some constancy in what has been a pretty chaotic childhood, adding new categories is one of her favorite bedtime stall tactics. “What’s your brick?” she’ll ask, and explain that our brick is the heaviest thing we’ve carried all day. A glitter is the shiniest thing we’ve seen, a highlight is what we thought of the weather, and on and on and on…

    Little does she know that when she goes off to college her stepmom is going to be calling her every night in her dorm room to hear her roses, thorns, and buds, and remind her of how very much she is loved.

    • AB says...

      Kate, your relationship with your stepdaughter warms my heart. It is such an important role and it sounds like you are playing it beautifully.

    • J. says...

      Kate, I loved every part of your comment. What a beautiful journey to share with us.

    • Suzy says...

      You are such an amazing mom!

    • Ziv says...

      Kate, I’m crying! She’s so lucky to have you!

  57. EM says...

    rose: i am loved
    thorn: i am having a hard time anyway
    bud: i am starting therapy tomorrow

    • Sara says...

      Hugs and good thoughts to you, Em. Starting therapy is hard but worth it!

  58. AMC says...

    I love reading all the responses! This is like live journaling. Ha.

    Rose – just had dinner with two friends and it left me feeling positive and invigorated (which I’m realizing is not the case with most/all of my relationships)

    Thorn – having to wear something other than leggings and realizing my work clothes are too tight now!

    Bud – it feels like summer is just around the corner. Hoping to do a lot more swimming with my kids this summer!

  59. Heather says...

    My rose: the sun coming out today after a big rain storm and getting outside with my daughter to enjoy the warm weather and take in all the beautiful spring flowers. Never underestimate the power of a warm breeze and sunshine on your face! Even in these hard times Mother Nature still amazes me!

    My throne: the terrible job the Ontario government is doing at getting this third wave under control and getting our people vaccinated. It feels like they have really failed us this time. Scary and so disappointing.

    My bud: my mother finally getting her first shot next week, at least it’s a start. And hopefully mine won’t be too far away.

  60. Debbie says...

    Rose: second vaccine dose this morning which means I can hug my best friend in two weeks
    Thorn: colleagues and friends who are not following CDC recommendations and are it choosing to get vaccinated
    Bud: my daughters will be able to come home for my nephew’s July wedding. I can’t believe I haven’t seen them since Christmas 2019 and can hardly wait!

  61. Ramya says...

    Rose: My 1st grader finally returned to in-person school on Monday! After almost 14 damn long months. I’m so grateful, knowing that not everyone is there yet. Also, my 2nd dose coming up on Monday.

    Thorn: Having a tough time stopping my pandemic habit of the daily 6pm glass of wine or cocktail

    Bud: What promises to be a delicious rest of the spring and summer, with some sense of normalcy now coming back in most parts of the U.S. Bring on the social gatherings, restaurants, outdoor concerts and travel!

    • Lottie says...

      I hear you on the 6pm wine or cocktail. I was having a similar situation last fall. Can I recommend: find another seam/ritual for the end of the day such as a walk, shower or chat on the phone. I also found non alcoholic options have got loads better – particularly beer but also non alcoholic gin or flavoured vinegars. The key is ice and tonic and your nicest glass so you’re still getting the treat!

  62. S says...

    Rose: my husband and I are finally feeling comfortable financially. We’re not there yet, but I can feel things moving in a good direction and I’m so relieved.

    Thorn: My life is dragging me by my last thread. I’m exhausted and in desperate need of a break.

    Bud: a break is coming! We’re spending the weekend in Brooklyn next week and I’m thrilled to have our first ever night away from our triplets (3.5 years!)

    • Robin says...

      “A break is coming!” This sentence gives me hope! How we all need a break and some time to just turn “off” (especially with triplets, I imagine)! Enjoy every second of your well-deserved break.

  63. reba says...

    Rose: the weather today, and snaffling an hour off work to take a walk in it (yes, that is why I am checking blogs and finishing work at a quarter to ten, but so sunny and worth it)

    Thorn: foster care family drama–so much drama, and not even my family. I have nothing left to give, people!

    Bud: a local church has replaced their annual plant sale with a “curbside pick-up” arrangement for pre-selected plants, including shade-loving native pollinators that were clearly destined for my tiny, shadowy backyard. True, I have killed every houseplant I’ve ever had, except the feral tomato plant that I forgot was out on the fire escape, but I really think *this year* could be different

    • Storm says...

      Hi Reba, from one plant killer to another: It is possible!! Hang in there! What helped me was to do a mini research on the plants I got, make a watering schedule (put it in my calendar) and now whenever there’s a notification, I check up on their soil to see if they are thirsty :)

  64. SN says...

    Rose: sneaking out of the virtual office to ‘play tennis’ with my husband before we picked up my daughter from daycare. (Quotes because I am just finally taking tennis lessons & still learning!)

    Thorn: endless work, emails, Zoom calls, omg my brain is mush since last March. But larger than that — having to swallow my fears and schedule an appt for a neurologist for my daughter based on some genetic tests we got for her when I was pregnant. It’s really scary and I’ve avoided making this appt for a week since we saw her pediatrician (don’t worry she’s not at risk its all proactive)… but **sigh** this is tough.

    Bud: my parents are actually going to be visiting us since the first time since this pandemic! Yay!

    • Robin says...

      Saying a prayer for your daughter, SN! You’ve got this! She’s clearly in great hands, from her doctors to her loving family. I’m sure your parents are thrilled to get to see her (and you… lol… my parents swear they are equally excited to see us as they are to see their grandson, but I call their bluff!)

    • SN says...

      Thanks Robin — I appreciate it. <3

      Oh let's be real. They are coming to see grandkids. I think they would've just opted for a vacation if it was just me ;-)

  65. AE says...

    Rose: I’m off on Thursdays so Wednesdays always feel like the start of the weekend! Also had a very productive day at work and pushed my self to reach out to friends (after feeling forgotten and then sad about it, I decided to initiate).
    Thorn: hmm, our bath tub ha been leaking through to the first floor for months and we can’t find a plumber to come and fix it.
    Bud: I’m due with my first on Aug 28!

  66. Caroline says...

    I do rose, bud, thorn with our 2 year old every night after reading a book and before putting her in the crib. I started it back at the beginning of quarantine when she was just a little over a year old. She wasn’t talking then so it was more of a therapeutic exercise for me to reflect on the day. Now that she’s talking and more engaging, it is still a comforting practice for me to do. It allows me to hear what made her excited (the neigh neighs at the track! the dog! daddy! pizza!), what made her sad (usually her or someone else’s boo boo), and what she’s looking forward to (crib!) and I get to share my ups and downs too. She listens and nods her head when I talk. Sometimes she shoves her fist in my mouth. But it’s mostly a sweet exercise that I look forward to every night and I am really looking forward to what she says as she gets bigger. I hope that this ritual keeps us connected when she grows out the the mommy phase (hopefully that never happens!).

    • Abby says...

      ‘the neigh neighs’! My heart can’t handle that level of cuteness :)

  67. M. says...

    Rose: Grateful for my friends and family. Seeing rabbits on my parent’s lawn. Hearing birds sing, gazing at the moon, reading, and the anticipation of watching new episodes of The Nevers (controversial in some ways, but intriguing watch).

    Thorn: overthinking and anxiety. Listening and reading to news.

    Bud: I’m on the verge of moving out. At least a form is planning. I think I’m just anxious about moving out. Thinking about what the future might hold. Oh, the possibilities! Sorry for being vague, I’m a private person.

  68. Patrice says...

    Rose — I’ve pushed myself creatively at work, told myself not to be fearful and just dive in. It’s paid off and I’m super proud of myself. This has been a lifelong struggle for me!

    Thorne — My husband and I just had our first frozen embryo transfer (we are going through IVF) and it failed.

    Bud — Making a plan with our doctor for steps forward with our next transfer next month. (And very grateful we still have 4 frozen embryos and the means to pay.)

  69. Lorraine Lelis says...

    rose – my husband & i got our second vax doses today!
    thorn – a toxic email thread
    bud – hugging friends in a few weeks

  70. CC says...

    My rose is that I was floated to the “covid unit” at my hospital today (I’m a nurse), but there are very few covid patients, so I’m caring for boring, old, regular patients with, like, diabetic foot ulcers and kidney failure and stuff! So grateful to every. single. person. who has gotten vaccinated for bringing the numbers down! xoxo

    • Colleen S says...

      That’s definitely a rose to be grateful for.

    • Ramya says...

      So wonderful to hear this!

  71. Kate says...

    Rose – had a slower day at work today, much more relaxing. I was able to take the afternoon and take care of personal things on my to do list for once. Also getting the second COVID shot Saturday!
    Thorn – trying to find painters and contractors for the many projects we need help with before listing our home. All the stress that comes along with getting an older home ready for the market. Also the second COVID shot Saturday – nervous how badly I’ll feel especially being pregnant. My Ob/Gyn has been reassuring though.
    Bud – I’m due with our first baby this July after four years of infertility, endometriosis diagnosis and surgery, also moving into a new home with a relaxing deck this summer!

    • Patrice says...

      Kate! I just posted about my own IVF struggles. I am so happy for you. I’m two years into the process and it’s so tough. Thank you for sharing and for giving me hope ❤️

    • AE says...

      I got the vaccine at 12 weeks pregnant and so far, so good. Sending you good vibes, my friend. It’ll be okay!

    • AB says...

      I got my COVID vaccines at 24 and 27 weeks pregnant and had nothing more than a sore arm! I hope yours is as easy as mine was! It’s been the very best thing I’ve done this year for my mental health.

    • Katie Lepine says...

      Hey, I’m 22 weeks pregnant and was optimistic because I had no side effects except a very sore arm following my first shot of Moderna. I had my second shot yesterday at 6 pm and felt rough this morning, but started to feel worse around noon. Luckily my husband was able to come home around 3 and cover for me (we have three other kids who are five, three and one).

      I have a raging headache, mild aches and chills (not as bad as the flu), and generally feel wiped out. To my knowledge, I never had covid. But my work situation exploded this past week (impossible to explain) and I’ve struggled with visceral anxiety and had trouble sleeping. So it’s hard to tell what’s pregnancy, what’s the result of being under duress, and what’s the shot.

      I hope you fare better! But maybe plan to take a day off, if at all possible. XO

  72. Jo says...

    Thanks for sharing your secret with us, Sarah! I’m holding onto hope with you that you will get to hear your sweet baby cry in the delivery room in about 29 weeks xx

    • Lindsay says...

      Rose: the compliment from an associate at work who shared how much she appreciated me and that this was the first time in her 35 yrs. at the company she’s worked with a female leader! (Humbled ☺️)

      Thorn: dealing with contractors

      Bud: the new backyard and front yard landscaping I’m hoping will be done in time for my 40th bday at the end of May. 🤞🏻

  73. Kaitlyn says...

    Love this!

    Rose: my 2 month old son’s big grins with lit up eyes when I sing to him! I’ve never felt so in awe or appreciated!!

    Thorn; sleep deprivation from said 2 month old baby, I just want to sleep for 6 hours alone.

    Bud: seeing my family next month for the first time in a year and a half! We’re split between the US & UK, I can’t wait to hug my parents!

  74. Sylvie says...

    We do this in my third grade class everyday. We also say our “ seed” which is something we learned. It’s always eye opening to me as a teacher to hear what parts of the day resonate with them the most. My goal this year as a teacher was to talk less and listen more. This helps!

    • S says...

      Ooh thank you for sharing the seed part!

    • kcb says...

      That’s so terrific! We do rose/thorn/bud at home with our 4 kids and I will be adding ‘Seed’ to the routine tonight! (Also, I teach 3rd grade…I would consider putting this into our class but we’re already so chatty. Something to consider though!)

    • KFA says...

      Haha I LOVE Marc! He’s gets down and funky in the best way. ❤️

    • Kari T. says...

      You were right. THANK. YOU. lol

  75. Robin says...

    Rose – 6am yoga class followed by going back to bed for a few hours.
    Thorn – waiting anxiously on thyroid biopsy results.
    Bud – A camping trip planned for June.

    • Meg says...

      Robin, you sound like a woman after my own heart — I think we would be friends who both love yoga…but also, sleep is the BEST ;) And YES to an upcoming camping trip! So excited for you :) I’m going through some health struggles right now myself, so I empathize. Sending you love, light and healthy vibes for your test results <3

    • Amanda says...

      You’re not alone, Robin. I just had a bone biopsy done this morning. Sending hopeful thoughts in solidarity. <3

  76. Broadwater says...

    Rose: I mustered my courage and asked for what I need and want: to help with bird banding in my community

    Thorn: my extended family refuses to get vaccinated

    Bud: planting our first apple trees this weekend (6 of them!), beginning a long-desired beekeeping course (online), second vaccination next week!, fat biking on my favorite trail for Mother’s Day, beginning to plan the twice cancelled Teen Book Fest (to be held spring 2022) after canceling it two consecutive years.

  77. allison says...

    rose: i went on a 4 mile run today with no mask (i’m fully vaccinated + still kept my 6 feet!) and it felt *wonderful* to breathe fresh air and feel the sun on my skin.

    thorn: i felt frustrated during a work meeting. i’m in a new-ish role and still finding my footing and wish that i didn’t have to go through this uncomfortable period of “figuring things out” and “ramping up.” it feels so much better to just know things! soon enough.

    bud: GIRLS WEEKEND THIS WEEKEND. we haven’t seen each other in over a year. our last girls weekend was just two weeks before everything shut down. feeling so thankful that we can safely see each other again and very ready to laugh at nothing together all. weekend. long.

    • Emily says...

      I’m in the same boat, Allison! New-ish at work and feeling like I’m flailing a bit. I don’t know about you, but I started fully virtually and that’s making it tough too. We’ll find our groove soon!

      But my rose after a thorn-y day was my husband making grilled cheese for dinner! Totally hit the spot :D

  78. Oja says...

    Rose: seeing my grandparents this weekend. no, none of us are vaccinated. it has just been a few years because of how far away they live.

    Thorn: coworkers feeling its appropriate to ask when I’ll get vaccinated.

    Bud: visiting Austin this fall.

    • H says...

      I feel this! Enjoy those long hugs and lets hope that compassion wins in our interaction with others – vaccinated or not vaccinated. We are one, division has never lead to good things x

  79. Christy says...

    We play this game! But we call it “what’s something?” (Something good, something bad, something you’re looking forward to.) My thorn today was the amount of work that backed up while I was on vacation last week, but the rose is that I got to take a vacation at all, and that I made a dent in my inbox today. And the bud is that this weekend I get to work on the dollhouse I’m building :)

  80. Kamina says...

    Rose – I’ve just started pet sitting and it’s an amazing side hustle! Easy cash for having lovely animals hang out with us in our home! (My husband and I work from home so it doesn’t really affect our routine.)

    Thorn – I’ve always struggled with insomnia, but have had amazing sleep the past few weeks. It’s been life-changing. Now all of a sudden I’m struggling to sleep again and waking early. BUM!!

    Bud – Right before the pandemic hit we moved to a really cool new city, with visions of entertaining friends and family when they visited from our home town. Instead, 2020 was incredibly lonely! But now travel is happening freely again and I have several visitors from home to look forward to this year – can’t wait to share my city with them!

  81. Carla says...

    My Rose: My 5 years old son kisses me and hugs me a lot, really a lot! :-)
    My Thorn: He is still in zoom school 5 days a week, Kindergarten.
    My Bud: I am going to get very soon the 2nd shot of the vaccine and will finally go to visit my family in Europe. Last time, we were together was in January 2020.

  82. Rose: I took my first Peloton ride today, and it felt so good to have a proper workout
    Thorn: I’m getting older, and I worry about my friends who have illnesses.
    Bud: Dinner with friends this weekend to celebrate vaccinations!

    • Jess says...

      Oooh cheering you on from my peloton!!

  83. R says...

    Rose: Working in vaccine clinic. It feels good to be a tiny part of a massive effort
    Thorn: Waking up at 3 am, wide awake with a chatty mind
    Bud: Longer, warmer days ahead!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      “a chatty mind” = I love that wording :)

  84. Rachel Dunlap says...

    I’m in Portland, too. The housing market is so epically bad right now. We can’t even find the type of rental we need. Here’s hoping it gets better soon!

  85. Sonja says...

    Rose – my daughter started giving hugs! Her strong and squishy arms wrap around your neck and squeeze whatever fabric or hair she can get and she holds her body so tightly to yours. She’ll be a year next month and bearing witness to the growth of a person is the most incredible gift.

    Thorn – Anti-mask/vaxxers. Please for the love of all things holy (like the life of our fellow humans) can we please just all wear our masks and get vaccinated when we can?! PLEASE. Seriously, I’m begging.

    Bud – We’re getting a puppy this weekend! Our dog is named after Linus Pauling (famous chemist) and because I love a pun he’s formally named, Linus Pupling, PhDog. Our new puppy is named Dogtor Anthony Fauci. I had a camp flag made (Oxford Pennant – customer service is excellent) that says “The Dogtors are In” and I’m pretty excited about it all.

    • Cristina says...

      Love this Sonja! Different spelling/meaning but my partner calls my dog (we are long-distance at the moment & before I got her it was very clear this was going to be MY dog no matter what ha) his “doghter.” He’s come around big time.

    • Em says...

      YES Sonja, your. thorn. is. my. thorn.

      When did being an antivaxxer become something to be tolerated?!?!?? It has never been more important to be properly informed/not a conspiracy theorist… yet for some reason we’re now expected to be “sensitive” and “accept people’s choices” when their choices are based on Facebook science and the implications of their stupidity will harm the immunocompromised and result in longer lockdowns?! ENOUGH.

      While governments should not round people up in a pen and force-inject, anti-vaxxers should not be allowed in schools, hospitals, grocery stores, on airplanes, public transit, in concert halls… or anywhere. Poor decisions should have consequences.

      (Ironically, so many of this anti-vax set are the same people who refused masks and didn’t fear COVID because of the “98% survival rate!!” but now fear a vaccine with a 0.00009% blood clot risk. It would be funny if the ramifications weren’t so problematic.)

    • H says...

      Sorry, but the intolerance here is quite alarming. My body, my choice should never be taken away. A medical intervention that can result in death or serious harm should never be used to split people into groups. Let’s hope that those vaccines do what they should and protect the people who want to get them, and that the people who don’t want to be vaccinated always have the choice to be treated with kindness, respect and freedom. *note I have a Bachelor of Science with studies on immunology this isn’t “conspiracy theorist” talking.

    • AE says...

      H, I think appropriating “my body, my choice” from the pro-choice movement is alarming. It’s not really “your body, your choice” when it actually directly impacts the people (and their livelihoods and quality of life) around you. Your college degree doesn’t mean you “get it” or that your argument is valid. If you were on campus at the time you got that degree, you were likely required to be vaccinated against many other things (flu, MMR, etc). This isn’t really any different. It’s one thing to be vaccine hesitant because your community has constantly been abused by the government. It’s another to refuse a vaccine simply because you feel like it/ are uninformed/ want to be selfish/
      What to feel smug/ enjoy ridiculous political affiliations.

    • Alex says...

      Some of the commenters who support science need to read the behavioral science behind changing minds… shaming and blaming those who elect against vaccinating will never ever work and do such harm. People must be understood individually to change. And even then it is unlikely… so then all we have is even more division and animosity.

      I’m a staunch vaccine lover with many antivax friends in medicine surrounded my antivax nurses- it’s complicated. But chose understanding, fun poking and prodding (gentle loving peer pressure has some evidence), and humor; nothing else works.

    • Louisa says...

      My pup Newton (Sir Isaac) sends a greeting to Linus and Fauci!

      I wanted to name my son Linus after Linus Pauling – (husband vetoed and it turned out we had a girl) – big fan!!

    • H says...

      Hey AE, I’m certainly not saying I am an expert (even the experts have to update their education with all the new data coming out!) I was illustrating that I come from a background of scientific consideration, not a ‘crazy conspiracy theorist’ as people like to assume when certain lines of thought are challenged. This is a deeply ethical topic, and you’re welcome to your views of course! I am also welcome to mine. If the vaccines had a proven 100% protection rate and no risks, along with long term studies I think it might be that more people would be inclined to agree with your line of thinking too. The latest data out from Yale shows that around 60% of new cases are from people who are vaccinated, so we are clearly not at that point with the current vaccines. Also, vaccinations were never mandatory for me to receive my education so I can’t comment on your points, but yes I did receive them. All peace to you, and I didn’t mean any offence by using the words my body my choice.

    • Erin says...

      I know this isn’t a medical forum but this statement is untrue and I hope gets removed. Cup of Jo readers get to have opinions but not opinions on facts! “The latest data out from Yale shows that around 60% of new cases are from people who are vaccinated.”

    • Em says...

      H and Alex, very fair points! I did not leave my initial comment to try to convince anti-vaxxers or to start a rapprochement on the issue — rather as a “thorn” and a bit of a rant about something that is really weighing on me right now. That said, if an anti-vax CoJ reader saw it and became even more entrenched in their position (due to the behavioral points you make, Alex) then I’m certainly not doing anyone any favours.

      And while I of course think kindness and understanding are always important, those actions are separate from how a society deems it appropriate to respond to people who pose intentional risk to others. If someone drives erratically, we can treat them with kindness but their license will be suspended or removed. We do not allow smokers to light up indoors because we understand that poses a risk to others. We should be kind to them, but we do not allow their risky behaviour to increase health risks of others. We do not hope that, by treating them kindly, the erratic driver become a safer one or the smoker will stop lighting up indoors.

      I think societal rules should respond in kind to people who not only put their own health and the health of their loved ones at risk by not getting vaccinated, but the health of others as well — specifically the immunocompromised, but also the community-at-large by opting out of the push toward herd immunity. They of course still deserve kindness, but kind treatment does not preclude smart, responsive policy to the risk they intentionally create by refusing the vaccine.

    • Sonja says...

      EM – I totally agree with you. Empathy and accountability are not antithetical. We make concessions when we choose to live in a society; our liberties only extend so far as the tip of another’s nose.

      Loving the comments from my pun/pup loving comrades. :)

  86. Mallory says...

    My girls and I do this at bedtime, but they’ve added on so much to postpone lights out, they now have rose, thorn, bud, stem (something neutral), leaves (something just kind of good), soil (something about food) etc etc… maybe we should move this game to dinner!

    My rose: recently starting anti-anxiety medication! Feeling calm and finding more joy in little things.
    My thorn: my 7 year old is still in zoom school 3 days a week (2 days in person) and absolutely miserable and depressed on her remote days.
    My bud: summer is almost here!

    • Jen says...

      I love that botany based stalling technique!

    • Shannon says...

      Sending love to your seven-year old and all the kiddos who are worn down. xoxo

  87. Eve says...

    Rose; The travel ban has lifted and I cycled the 8 miles to the beach for my first swim in over a year.
    Thorn; I forgot to pack suncream post-swim. Also how cold the North Sea is.
    Bud; Art galleries are open, I’ve booked a slot to meet a friend(!) to view an exhibition. How I long to look at something new, physical, and more thought provoking than found at the supermarket.

  88. Carmen says...

    It’s a great way to get surprising details about your kids’ day. We’ve played the same game with our kids almost every night at dinner since they were little– only we call it “Apple, Onion, Seed”. They’re teens now and it’s still the mainstay of dinner conversation. Their answers almost always surprise us.

  89. Jenny says...

    Rose: My baby boy is turning 1 this weekend and we are throwing a party with our vaccinated family!!

    Thorn: The housing market – we picked a bad time to try to buy…

    Bud: Trying to conceive our second child! Taking longer than last time, and I am anxious wreck waiting. Wish I could just enjoy the process more :)

    • MelodyA says...

      It is like watching a pot to boil, once you turn your back it suddenly is doing it. so DOOOO enjoy the process, it is such a small window of time in most of our lives, having babies that suddenly grow so fast and the time has gone by in a heartbeat it seems, and then you have the guy you made the baby with to enjoy full time again like the love birds you started out being. A full circle.

  90. Shannon says...

    You know what I’m worried about? That when this pandemic ends the world will demand women to return to full-time in-person work as if we haven’t proven ourselves capable of mountainous flexibility during this wretched time. I worry we’ll just do what we’re told and we won’t demand better of our workplace systems and structures. We have earned far more than a modest amount of flexibility in terms of scheduling but I don’t think it will be offered. We will have to demand it and the process will be hard. I am sending love to all the women who will try. I am with you. :)

    • Rachel says...

      Yes! This very much resonates with me.

    • Alex says...

      This 1000000%!! One way to change this – more women business owners/employers.

  91. Megan says...

    My rose – being fully vaccinated!
    My thorn – having dental work done next week, yikes.
    My bud – getting to FINALLY see and hug my parents in a couple weeks!! I told my 2-1/2 year old we were going to see his grandparents and he told me to get my phone since he figured we were FaceTiming with them! He’s so pumped to ‘see them outside the phone’.

  92. Rachel says...

    I just listened to a gratitude talk today where the expert recommended always asking “why” something is a rose. Understanding the why is super helpful for both kids and adults – it reveals our values, our motivations, our love languages, etc. Definitely going to start adding “why” to our dinner tradition.!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Ooh thank you!

  93. Sarah says...

    My rose: I am 11 weeks pregnant!
    My thorn: I am 11 weeks pregnant, which means I have 24hr nausea and seem to have craters in my brain that make work and Zoom chats exhausting and self-esteem depleting. Coupled with keeping this a secret from most people we love AND hiding out extra-hermit-like during a terrifying pandemic (I’m in Canada, we’re not nearly as vaxxed as our buddies in the US), AND as a pregnancy after losing our first at 22 weeks, and a second miscarriage, it’s thorny, alright.
    My bud: The flickering glimpse I can see in my mind of this maybe all working out this time.

    • Elizabeth says...

      This is so exciting, Sarah! I don’t even know you but I am holding you and your growing little one in my heart.

    • Samantha says...

      Sending all the sticky vibes!!

    • C says...

      Congrats Sarah!!! Sending you love and positive thoughts!

    • susan says...

      I feel you so much — keeping the secret IS SO EXHAUSTING!

    • I hear where you are coming from – I had a miscarriage in Dec and another in March. Also Canadian. Also working from home. Try your hardest to not compare your pregnancy to your lost pregnancies; each one is a unique experience, good with the bad. I’m sending you good luck and a hug.

    • Sarah says...

      All of these gorgeous responses are making me cry in a really nice way and I feel so supported and connected. Thank you <3

    • Rosalie says...

      I’ve been there, Sarah! It’s so hard, and so exciting, and so many feelings. I’ll be thinking of you!!

    • E says...

      Sarah, congrats! Such happy news! I feel you on the thorny part – I lost my first baby at 24 weeks. Waiting to welcome my second (and later, my third) was all kinds of complicated. There was joy and grief, gratitude and fear, relief and guilt. I’m thinking of you and sending you and your partner and baby virtual hugs and all the positive vibes. Xo

    • Katie Lepine says...

      Praying this is your rainbow baby, Sarah. A friend told me once that even if you miscarry, the baby’s dna remains in your body forever. I thought that was incredibly beautiful. Passing it along with the hope that it’s comforting to you.

  94. C says...

    rose – fully vaccinated and (gasp) back in the office! my mental health and feelings about work have both improved since returning to the office, though i do sincerely miss the comforts of home!

    thorn – getting ready and leaving the house… packing a lunch… commuting

    bud – someday covid will be over :)

  95. rme says...

    Rose: quite literally my garden. Feeling so motivated to learn how to nurture plants, and I love being out in the dirt with my 2 year old every day.
    Thorn: feeling pressured to attend a family wedding on the other side of the country this summer, and although I’m fully vaccinated, I’m just not ready to leave my kid behind for a weekend. Will they understand?
    Bud: I’ve been designing a quilt that I am SO EXCITED to start working on, but going to make myself wait until fall so I have a rainy weather project waiting for me in the wings.

    • Melody A says...

      ahhh a fellow quilter it is exciting to start a new project. as for the wedding it is your life and your child. Do what is best for you.

    • Amanda says...

      I love that excitement that comes with a new quilt project. Why not start a bit of it now while you’re extra jazzed about it?

    • Sarah says...

      In the same boat. Striving to feel confident in doing what is right for ME and sending you the same courage and strength.

  96. Anne says...

    rose: opened up a pack of dark chocolate digestives for tea time this afternoon and wow were they yum.
    thorn: dreading the transition from working from home to working in the office again.
    bud: now that both my husband and I are fully vaccinated we decided to take advantage of a weeknight deal at a local hotel and are treating ourselves to a staycation including eating at a restaurant for the first time in over a year! I’m thrilled!

  97. janine says...

    I’ve been lucky to have several roses this week – Got to see my mom for the first time in over a year. I also accomplished a goal I have been trying to achieve for 5 years.
    Thorn – It’s been a very hectic week and I’m feeling run down!
    Bud – I will soon get to see the results of the aforementioned accomplishment and share it with other people! :)

    • shahnnen says...

      5 year goal achievement?!?! WOW, GO YOU! (I am being absolutely genuine, this internet stranger is cheering for you!)

    • MM says...

      Brava on your five-year goal! I am sure you feel like a million bucks. Props!

  98. Emma says...

    I love this!
    My Rose is enjoying a beautiful day on my patio
    My Thorn is not even getting an interview for an internal position (ugh)
    My Bud is my appointment for my second vaccine dose on Friday!!

    • b says...

      I have been there with your thorn, Emma. The worst part, for me, was that I was basically doing the job already when the need for someone full-time arose. It was so frustrating.

    • Antonia says...

      Ah, I have the same thorn! I was so hyped up about the position so it really stung when I didn’t even get invited to the first round of interviews. But well, trying to remember that when the answer is no, there is a better yes down the road. (I believe this is a Marylin Monroe quote.)

      My rose is finishing my birthday present for my bf (I’m giving him a “coupon” for a short trip which we will be hopefully able to take depending on how the covid situation is developing here. I used Canva for the first time to design it and I am really happy with it!)

      And my bud is starting PRP injections to improve the cartilage damage in my left knee. Finger’s crossed it will work!

  99. Sage says...

    Rose: dancing in the kitchen with my son.
    Thorn: persistent hypochondria is wearing me down a lil.
    Bud: virtual commencement ceremony friday. getting my degree… 10 yrs after graduating high school, but hey! I did it! and looking forward to grad school this fall.

    side note: I’m on year 2 of one of those “5 Year Journals” where you just write a line a day, and I highly recommend it. I use it as a way to document “roses.” (Thorns go in my other, weekly-ish journal, lol.)

    • rme says...

      Hi Sage. I struggle with pretty severe and sometimes incapacitating health anxiety. It’s truly awful. I’m in therapy and a therapist myself, but felt really stuck until I started taking Zoloft about 2 months ago. It’s made such a huge difference for me. Obviously a very personal choice, but I just wanted to share my experience in case you were looking for help and hadn’t considered medication. <3

    • Michelle says...

      So rough. I went through a lot of medical trauma with my daughter, and I thought I was handling the covid risk really well until things started reopening and I realized I’ve just been enjoying the safety of isolation. Going back out there is feeling very scary. Hang in there, and congrats on the graduation!!

  100. Carlaw says...

    Rose: my kids being themselves❤️❤️❤️
    Thorn: MY KIDS!!! Being themselves😝
    Bud: watching my kids develop into their own selves.

    Super mom answer, but it’s true. We are stuck to each other so much these days, it’s great, but sometimes it’s hard!
    Also my former botanist self tells my kids roses don’t have thorns, technically they are prickles 😁

    • Claire says...

      Fellow botanist here! Yes to the prickles! :-)

    • Abesha1 says...

      Wait- what?! What is a thorn vs a prickle??? I’m so curious!

    • Kari T. says...

      Prickles?!!? So interesting. Can you imagine the song revisions haha “every rose has its prickle” hahaha

  101. Jessica says...

    I love this and may have to use it in my classroom!

    My Rose: I organized ALL my school read alouds by genre and it felt SO good.
    Although I may have realized I have too many books haha

    Thorn: Full moon = VERY chatty students who caused a lot of drama with one another today.

    Bud: Turning in my final paper and being done with grad school for spring semester!

  102. Elif says...

    Rose: I took my 6 year old daughter to a birthday party, and that gave me the opportunity to have drinks with my mom-friends.

    Thorn: I am worried for my Dad who is sick for some time now.

    Bud: Tomorrow, we will go into a total lockdown for the next 20 days. I know that it won’t be easy, but I look forward to be spending more time with my kids.

  103. Jenny says...

    We share the hi-lights and the low-lights of our days. When their friends and/or guests come over for dinner, they have to share, too. On nights when we have extra time, we answer some of the Table Talk cards that we were given as a gift. Always lead to good conversations. I find that their friends absolutely love it!
    Love the idea of the bud – what they are looking forward to… must add this one.

  104. AJ says...

    Rose: just had a pretty good workout

    Thorn: work’s a bit too busy at the mo

    Bud: got a hot date at the weekend :)

  105. Kelsey says...

    Love this!
    Rose – being back at my beloved Orange Theory now that I’m fully vaccinated and am comfortable with their precautions.
    Thorn – my one year old daughter’s naps ahhhhhhh! So unpredictable and it feels like none of the sleep advice I read applies.
    Bud – a kitchen renovation although still looking for my “kitchen midwife” who will help deliver my dream kitchen. I’m hopeful that it’ll be Janet who I met at Lowe’s last week. :)

    • Katie Lepine says...

      I hesitate to say this because a parent searching for better sleep has probably read all the advice under the sun, but: have you tried going down to one nap?

      If your daughter has been on the lower end of normal (for this age is 11-14 hours of sleep, with one or two naps making up some of those hours) or just isn’t a great napper, you might try moving to one. All of my kids have transitioned early. I think it’s normal to go down to one nap around 15-18 months, but my kids have gone down to one around 13 or 14 months. I assume she’s taking two because you said “naps,” but also realize you might just be referring to them plurally.

  106. Em says...

    Rose: I had a lovely therapy session with my new therapist this morning who is giving me the warm fuzzies already, making me feel quite seen

    Thorn: I spoke up for myself this morning at work by saying I won’t be able to complete a project within a shortened timeline without having to compromise on quality, but my email is just going ignored so far….

    Bud: TRAVEL!!! AHH!!!! Traveling to see friends in June, to see family in July, and on a real vacation in August. Cannot F*@&#& wait.

  107. Justine says...

    Wheee! I love this, thanks for letting us play :-)

    Rose – having had a great night’s sleep last night for the first time in AGES. I feel like a brand new person.

    Thorn – work/my relationship with my boss

    Bud – possibilities for positive change slowly emerging in my life – some light on the horizon at long last

  108. Brittany says...

    We do Rose, Thorn, Bud, but also ask each other’s “sunshine”… was there a point in the day where you got to help someone or someone helped you? :)

    • Jenny says...

      Love the bud AND sunshine! Thanks for sharing.

  109. Rue says...

    I was an RA in college, and we had everybody share their “high low” from the week during a Sunday evening hangout session. Bringing me back!

    So many roses honestly: closing soon on our first house, planning a fall wedding, wrapping up an entire school year of pandemic professor-ing and feeling like I’m okay and my students are okay even though we’re all very tired, feeling finally ready to tackle some big work projects.

    Thorns: there’s so much anxiety. My wedding planner hasn’t emailed me back in a few days and I totally jumped to “how do I fire a wedding planner?” in my brain. Went through a similar thing with the house a few weeks ago where I was convinced it was gonna fall through. Being at the beginning stages of a move while our jobs are both in “go go go” mode.

    Bud: honestly, thinking about winter and spring of next year, where we are moved in and married and have some beautiful photos on the wall. I love the idea of a wedding and I want to buy this house, but really more than anything I want the life that comes when the purchase and the party are in the rearview and we are *living it.* I worry sometimes that that sounds selfish, like I’m not grateful for all this amazing stuff on our plate this year, but it is also… a lot. And I love my job but I’m entering an intense season of work too, and will be *in it* for the next 4-6 months, and that feels also like a lot.

    • Thyme says...

      Omgosh Rue! I was an RA in college and we did highs & lows too!!! I thought it was just a ResLife thing LOL

    • Sophia says...

      As someone who got married in June, I can SO relate to the just wanting to “live it” and trust me it is as sweet as you think it will be. I didn’t live with my now-husband before marriage, and couldn’t wait to just…not go home in the evenings. I wasn’t a big fan of being a bride, but I love being a wife. Don’t feel guilty or selfish!! Totally ok to not enjoy every bit of wedding planning, I certainly didn’t!

    • Katie Lepine says...

      We wanted to elope, but I couldn’t bear to get married without my parents and siblings present, so it turned into a small family wedding with a simple ceremony and dessert spread after. (By the time we were done it was kind of tea time.) We realized we didn’t actually care about a lot of the traditional expectations surrounding a wedding and the great thing about calling it an elopement/early surprise wedding was that no one had expectations about what we would and wouldn’t do.

      I encourage you to think about what will bring you joy and help you celebrate and identify if there’s anything that feels just like a cultural expectation or tradition. When my husband and I got real with ourselves, we felt like so many of those expectations or traditions are just time-consuming ways to conspicuously consume wealth and didn’t want to be a part of it.

      We wanted to celebrate a holy, sacred union with our family and a few close friends. And then we wanted to get to the living part. We got married during my last year of college—everyone told me my grades would go downhill, which was so insulting in retrospect! But I was actually a better student after we got married. Zero regrets.

  110. Denis says...

    Rose: broiled bagel w cheese for breakfast
    Thorn: likely being priced out of housing in Portland, OR when my current lease is up. Boooooooo. I’m pretty bitter about it.
    Bud: upcoming trip to Yosemite

    • Juulia says...

      Rose: The sun is out today!
      Thorn: My son is starting first grade next fall, and I worry constantly. All day, every day. He has some special needs and the school is not co-operating well. He is such a wonderful child and deserves all the support, and I do not know what to do to get this accross.
      Bud: Meeting with friends tomorrow in their back yard, having dinner and watching our kids play together. First time in ages – I do hope it won’t rain (or snow, since here in Helsinki, that is a real possibility as well).

  111. Minati says...

    Rose – the beautiful 80 degree weather in NY today
    Thorn – my 11 year old son who is amazing starting to fight me on things
    Bud – hoping those #s keep going down the way they are and we can put COVID behind us

  112. A says...

    Rose – The weather is warm enough here now to swim in the pool or ocean everyday!
    Thorn – Will we ever be able to afford to buy a house in this city?????
    Bud – My small business is rebounding after taking a major hit from the pandemic, so maybe the answer to my thorn is yes?

  113. Meghan says...

    Rose: I work with my best friends. I’ve always loved it, but this year I’ve never been so grateful for that fact. I get to see my besties IN PERSON every day (I’m a teacher in BC, and we’ve had in-person schooling all year). What an incredible gift; it’s one of the only reasons I’ve made it this far.

    Thorn: I am desperately trying to make it through the rest of the school year, but I am just so frickin’ tired. Normally, I count on adrenaline to push through the busy times, but I used it all up months ago. The tank is empty and I’ve been running on fumes for months now. My new mantra is, “ten more weeks, just ten more weeks”.

    Bud: I’m getting my vaccine on Saturday!
    PS: The vaccine availability in Canada isn’t as robust as it is in the States. It’s really hard to get an appointment if you’re 40 or under. I’ve never felt so lucky or looked more forward to developing a fever and body aches (what I’m told the common symptoms are).

    • Mouse says...

      I’m a teacher too, although university, but the exhaustion in April is universal I think. All you can see is end of term……

  114. b says...

    Rose: I have amazing, supportive coworkers. My job is tough and stressful, but it’s nice to know that we’re all in this together, even though we’re all remote and I’ve never actually met any of my colleagues (or my boss) in person.

    Thorn: I’ve been awake since 12:30 a.m. PST (it’s now 1:15 p.m. PST) with the worst migraine I’ve had in a while. Very much looking forward to being done with work so I can lay down for 20 minutes.

    Bud: I’m getting back into being the voracious reader I once was, slowly but surely, a few pages at a time to start. It feels good, though.

  115. When we ask how 3yo how his day at school is, he often says “it was really busy!” We kind of laugh over that (not in front of him) and I figured it was something he picked up on us saying about his day. But it probably does feel really busy, even though it’s fun stuff like projects, going to the park, etc.

    Rose: Our youngest is almost 5 months and he is in such a fun stage – so smiley and happy!
    Thorn: I just returned to work and feel soooo tired which has surprised me as I’m WFH.
    Bud: I’m looking forward to seeing more family and friends as they are fully vaccinated (my husband and I have been fully protected for just over a week which feels so good!).

    • b says...

      I’ve been WFH since May 2020 and it’s exhausting. My bedroom is my office is my living room is my library. I share a 3-bed, 2-bath with my parents and my brother, but my mom is retired and home all day; my dad works, but often works 1 p.m.-10 p.m. There is nowhere else for me to work or live in this apartment and it’s wearing on my mental health in a big way.

  116. B says...

    Rose: Went on a beautiful lunch break walk listening to a great audio book.

    Thorn: We found out that we are not getting the rental home we had our hearts set on. (why is finding a rental so hard?)

    Bud: Looking forward to a girl’s night with some of my closest friends on Friday. Now that we’re all fully vaccinated we’ve decided to have a slumber party like we did in middle school. We’re even watching Titanic and Clueless!

  117. riye says...

    Rose: Finally caught up on all my work e-mails and calls. YES!

    Thorn: Will I finish my current work project by the end of this week??

    Bud: One of my closest friends since high school is coming for a visit later this year. Her daughter is going to be attending college here.

  118. maywyn says...

    Rose: love one survives covid
    Thorn: pick 4 number drawn is 4448, on the day I played 0080.
    Bud: Wearing sandals outdoors… imagine toes feeling sun is Santa excitement, at the window asking if it’s warm enough yet for sandals.

  119. Katelyn says...

    My rose is I got my second shot! My thorn is I got my second shot. (And consequently feel like poop). My bud is all the things I get to do (hugs!!) once I’m fully antibodied up :)

    • Katie Lepine says...

      Hahahahaha, so real

  120. Jill says...

    How nice of you to ask! Thank you!

    Rose: literally looking out my window today to see several rose bushes blooming in my yard!

    Thorn: Kinda down knowing I need to finish projects that I just don’t seem to finish.

    Bud: I will be hugging my daughter for the first time in over a year very soon, over Memorial Day!

  121. Kate says...

    We used to go around the room and share a rose and thorn every night in our bunks at summer camp! I like the addition of bud.

    My rose is: I have a crush on someone and this is huge for me after a brutal break-up (and even better, we are continents apart so it will remain innocent) my thorn is work, in general. What more can I say. And my bud is looking forward to our weekly pizza night tonight :D

  122. gen says...

    rose: my relationship w my partner & all our cats makes me very happy. also — is this a pandemic thing or a pre-menopause thing? ONLY COMFY SHOES.
    thorn: i’m having a hard time keeping up with the news — i just feel too overwhelmed to stay on top of things these days.
    bud: trying to get into the habit of scheduling analogue time. reading for fun, listening to records, messy sewing projects.

    • Kate says...

      I like the way you put this – rather than a tech detox or no technology time, I like the re-framing as “analogue time” so it’s not about what you’re giving up but what you’re doing instead…next time I reach for my phone instead of feeling guilty I can gently remind myself to focus on analogue activities!

    • b says...

      Yes! Listening to so much music lately (digitally) and doing all the embroidery + learning how to cross stitch.

    • Lia says...

      I love analogue time!!

    • Kirst says...

      oh only comfy shoes is just a smart thing – some of us just took longer to work that out. My bestie was a sneakers girl from the start, it took me about 35 years to join her.

  123. Kat v. says...

    We do good, bad, best each day (may now change to rose, thorn, bud) but my favorite is when my mop-headed four year old says sometimes, “ummm…I can’t think of any bads. YAY!!! IT’S A NO BAD DAY!!!!” And we have a little celebration of the joy of being four and living in his world where having a no bad day is living in a no bad world.

  124. Rebecca says...

    Rose: I’m in finals, and a really tricky concept is finally coming together and clicking for me. So satisfying.
    Thorn: my husband got some bad news that I feel helpless about. Nothing I can do except be there and listen, but that doesn’t feel like enough.
    Bud: my entire family will be fully vaccinated in a little more than two weeks!

  125. Ari says...

    Rose: boldly pitching to my boss that we should start closing the office for the entire month of August and having her say “yes! Why didn’t I think of that?!” Hooray for me, my coworkers, and future coworkers!
    Thorn: trying to buy a house right now, which is so demoralizing.
    Bud: my birthday in a few weeks. My husband and I are going to drop my son at daycare and go kayaking that morning!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Wow!! That is awesome!

    • b says...

      Ari! Your rose is awesome! Enjoy that time off.

  126. Em says...

    Rose: Being present with my young children and spouse who is working from home during the pandemic. We don’t lose perspective about how fortunate we are to be here and well.

    Thorn: Working on a race and equity team at my child’s school and feeling frustrated by the insidious nature of white supremacy

    Bud: Continuing to put time and energy into things big and small that matter, knowing the future is full of little joys we can not yet imagine

    Looking forward to hearing what others share. Xo

  127. Laura says...

    Oh this is great! My rose is the abundance of spring produce finally coming in (went to the grocery store today and am so excited for really nice fruits and veg after a lonnngg winter). My thorn is that someone I work with scheduled a surprise 5:30 pm meeting…. and my bud is my 2nd vaccine shot on Monday! I mean, I am anxious about it because I feel confident I’ll be sick for a bit (the first one put me outtt), but very excited to be fully vaccinated.

  128. Lizzy says...

    Rose – my puppy – he gives me routine and moments of joy every day. I am so grateful I got a covid dog.
    Thorn – Toronto has been in the longest lockdown in North America. We are in very bad shape still. It’s hard to find roses and buds these days.
    Bud – My sister is due soon with her first child and I am SO excited. Even though we won’t get to meet in person for a long time, I can’t wait for our Facetime calls.

    • Kate says...

      Omg congrats future Aunt Lizzy!! My sister gave birth in November and I haven’t met my first ever niece yet (I’m also in ON but they’re in MB) but our Sunday morning FaceTime calls make my heart so happy!!

  129. Ali says...

    Rose (maybe a whole bouquet, really): My second Covid vaccine today! Thorn: a 7am meeting (and generally, hours upon hours of soul-crushing Zoom). Bud: getting to hug my (fully vaccinated) dad in just a few days.

    • R says...

      Congratulations on your rose and your bud!! I’m a nurse who just spent the day vaccinating people, and it makes ME so excited when they are excited! (That said, I’m also grateful for everyone who walks through our doors, no matter what emotions they bring.)

  130. JJ says...

    We do this every night at the dinner table! My son is a total homebody and always has to be dragged out of the house to go to the playground or on a walk, though he always has a gas once we’re there. Usually his rose will be whatever fun activity we did that day, followed by his thorn: “We didn’t just stay home all day!”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Hahaha awwww

  131. Silver says...

    To be honest my rose, thorn and bud might be one answer. I’ve started studying again (I’m 48!). I’ve started a Maters in Information Studies (that’s how to become a librarian (information practitioner) now). Sometimes when I come across an article about the history of reading, or the sorts of community change that comes within a library, or imagine working in a historical library my whole body fizzes. But the thorn is half the readings we do are about tech and how technology gathers and defines the information we use – my soul dies a little. I’m not into technology, I don’t agree with resources being in digital form and I fail to understand why the dominant way libraries acquire information is in a format that fails to sustain itself. I can better read a letter from the crusades than I can find the technology to read my honours thesis on that floppy disc that was around in the early 1990s. And the bud, well that is the lure that I might one day work in a state or historical library, and get to talk about books all day long.

    The fact that I have the same answer for all criteria has been on my mind these past weeks – is this the right choice? Does the fact that I loath part of the study matter? To think on a deeper level is fun (ah how middle aged do I sound).

    I am totally going to play this with my family this evening. Thanks for the suggestion. I’m pretty sure my son will also suggest any screen time as being the bud too – though his basketball hoop will arrive in a few days maybe that will beat the iPad!

    • KD says...

      Haha I love this. I am a librarian/public library manager with my Masters in Library and Information Science. Hang in there. Not sure how far into your program you are, but it sounds like you’re in the core work. Organization of Information and Metadata classes will probably not be your friend. However, I promise that once you’re through it…you’ll see how it applies. The technical side was definitely a forest AFTER the trees situation for me (and I love the tech piece). :D

      It also sounds like you’ll be in a better space once you are able to take electives that are more up your alley. While I don’t recommend public libraries for you (we embrace the tech, run tons of programs, and have a heavy social work element)… You sound like someone who should definitely be on an archival or “special” libraries track. The crossover into historical museum curation sounds like a good fit for you as well. ;)

      That said, I hope your program offers specialty concentrations!! If not, I might even transfer. Don’t do anything that doesn’t bring you great joy. Life is too short. Info Science programs also prepare people for careers in Big Data/web content management/coding, etc. It’s a versatile degree, but that’s why it’s even more important to find what gets you excited and hone in on THAT!

      Good luck your way! :)

    • Isabelle says...

      I can really relate to this! I work in a library without having a degree in library/information science and every time I think about going back to school to study this I worry that I won’t ever manage to get interested in the technology part of the job… The one thing I do find exciting with the turn to digital form is the possibility to share treasures from our historical collections with people who are on the other side of the world and wouldn’t otherwise be able to access this knowledge! (Sorry, this is a bit off topic but I just had to reply to Silver’s comment!)

  132. Agnès says...

    Thanks for asking and you have to share yours also! I am so happy my 7 y old is happy, at school and playing and reading all the time! My thorn is probably my aging father. Taking care of him is getting more and more difficult and not joyful. I am looking forward to a warmer weather… (my humble bud).

  133. Nicole A. says...

    Rose: Getting a final lash extension fill before my elopement.
    Thorn: The stress of being in the process of a move.
    Bud: Finally living with my fiancé (very soon to be hubby) after we finally tie the knot this Friday! *Eek!*

    • Julie says...

      Yay, congrats Nicole!!! Hope Friday is the most lovely day :)

    • Nicole A. says...

      Yay! Thank you so much, Julie!

    • Amanda says...

      CONGRATS!! Sending wishes for a wonderful wedding day and even better life together.

  134. Sam says...

    My 3 year old and I have been doing rose and thorn at bedtime. Yesterday her rose was jumping in puddles in the rain and her thorn was falling into a puddle. We will have to add bud in!

    My rose is feeling good after my second vaccine, my thorn is wearing real pants, and my bud is that we are house hunting in Mpls/St. Paul area and I daydream of a peaceful backyard with trees this summer.