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My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

If you want your breath to catch and your heart to stop, turn to Kate Baer, the beloved Instagram poet whose first book, What Kind of Woman, comes out today. She writes about everything from body image to parenthood struggles to marital sex and just gets it. (Here are three of her poems that we adore.) Below, Kate, who lives with her husband and four kids in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, shares her desert island beauty product, “unsexy” office space and favorite poem…

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

How did you get into writing poetry?
Honestly, I always loved reading poetry but I felt like I couldn’t write it. I thought I had to be a grad student smoking a pipe. But then I kind of just went for it. I started writing and couldn’t stop. I’d never have guessed poetry for me, but it has been the best surprise.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

You’ve become an Instagram phenom.
It was very surreal at first. When your following increases, you start to feel like you need to please so that you don’t lose the people who are reading your work. I had to concentrate on getting out of my own way and keep taking risks.

What poetry do you like to read?
Mostly female poets — Margaret Atwood is my favorite author in general. Sharon Olds, Audre Lourde, Olivia Gatwood, Maya Angelou… so many incredible female poets, many of whom were writing controversial things 10, 15, 20 years ago, and I really look up to how bold they were.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

Where were you, physically, when you were writing your book?
I was in a place called Panera Bread. [laughs] I wondered if I’d disclose that information because it’s so unsexy and unromantic, but we have a very small house and six people, so I wrote almost the entirety of What Kind of Woman in Panera Bread. We’re all friends now. I’m bringing them all my book. I thanked one of the staff in my acknowledgements — she always stopped by and asked me how my book was going and made sure I got the booth where the plug is for my computer. Panera was free and had wifi and an outlet and that’s all I needed.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

How has the response been so far?
Incredible. I’ve had so many people saying, I have no children, I’ve never gotten married but I see myself. The book is split into three sections: womanhood/dating — marriage — motherhood. There’s something for everyone in there. When I wrote it, everything I’ve ever felt just came out. It was such a cathartic experience. I found myself writing about things I hadn’t thought about in such a long time — experiences with men that were terrible — I didn’t even know how much I had been holding onto them. And the motherhood stuff was so visceral, I was still breastfeeding. I had just come out of the worst depression I had ever been in. I had just come out of that fog and suddenly was able to see so clearly.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

What’s your favorite poem in the book?
When I was reading them out loud for the audiobook, I was shocked by the ones that made me tear up. I think the one I’m most proud of is ‘Like a Wife.’ It starts out when my friend’s dad told me, just before my wedding, don’t get fat like other wives do. It’s a zippy, fun little poem and I really like that one.

Could we read it?
Yes.

Oh my gosh, that’s beautiful. I also love your poem Robyn Hood about not focusing on body size.
In my life, I’ve been very thin and now am plus size. And having the experience of both has been so eye opening to how other people see and treat you. How people respond to your body says more about them and their insecurities than it does about you. Realizing that it’s not my business how other people see me and removing myself from those conversations were so freeing to me.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

What beauty finds do you swear by?
This summer I discovered Megababe thigh rescue and it’s been life changing. I put it on all summer and it gave me the freedom to wear swimsuits and shorts and not get a burn between my legs. I put it on in the morning, and it lasts all day. I love the founder, Katie Sturino, too. Sometimes I listen to her Instagram videos before I fall asleep. Her voice is very soothing. Is it ASMR? I’ve seen people in her comments do the same thing, so it makes me feel less like a weirdo.

What’s your desert island product?
We use vaseline in our house like the dad from My Big Fat Greek Wedding uses Windex. I put it all over my face before bed in the winter and on my lips year round. We have containers stashed all around the house. It’s weird! If one of the kids gets a hurt on their elbow, we put on vaseline! I’m sure it’s half placebo, but we can’t live without it.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

How about your hair?
For hair, I’m super lazy, so Beach Babe dry shampoo is key. I also use Suave shampoo and conditioner, which would make Queer Eye scream, but I’ve never found anything better, even the expensive stuff! I only wash my hair a few times a week and it keeps it looking fresh.

Do you have a signature scent?
I keep this in my purse all the time. Sometimes I just take it out and breathe it in, like Jan Levinson breathes in the candles she makes on The Office. It smells like sunscreen and ocean waves. It’s serenity. Randomly: Once Oprah said she never uses perfume, she just uses fragrant soaps, and I think about that every two weeks of my adult life. She must soak in the bath for so long.

I can picture her doing that.
Same, same.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

What’s your morning routine?
Whenever someone is asked on a morning talk show, they’re like, I like to get up at 5 a.m. when the house is still quiet and do my morning cardio and drink lemon water. But I get up at the last possible second, right as my husband is leaving for work. I put on whatever pants are on the bathroom floor and move on with my day.

How about makeup?
I don’t wear makeup anymore. Is the pandemic or a strike against the patriarchy? I don’t know! But sometimes I still draw better eyebrows on to feel nice!

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

What’s your overall beauty vibe?
Sharon Horgan in Catastrophe is who I feel like on the inside. She wears these colorful prints and I just love her vibe. On the outside, I come across like the mom from Everybody Loves Raymond. But that’s okay.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

What do you want to teach your kids about beauty?
I hope they understand the difference between trying to be healthy and trying to be thin. One is for ourselves and one is for other people. Living for other people, it’s always a losing battle. Any time your life is performative, you’re missing out on the good things, the juicy things. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, that wasn’t spelled out for us, and I hope it is for them.

My Beauty Uniform: Kate Baer

Thank you so much, Kate, and huge congratulations! You can order her book here, if you’d like; and tonight see Kate talk with Elizabeth Holmes about her book. xoxo

P.S. More women share their beauty uniforms, including a yoga teacher and ballerina.

  1. Tas says...

    This is wonderful! I’ve started following her on social media and she is SUCH a titan.

    About to buy 5 copies of her book to give to all my friends for Christmas.

  2. Rachel says...

    I am catching up on COJ posts, and this one hits home in so many ways. I am a new mom and her response to body imagery is refreshing. Sitting in Panera on her computer brings me back to summers working at a camp with no internet or cell service, day off was spent in Panera catching up on texts and emails! Fun memories!

  3. Alison says...

    Oh my god. This woman is SO relatable and I loved reading this so much.

    “…I get up at the last possible second, right as my husband is leaving for work. I put on whatever pants are on the bathroom floor and move on with my day.”

    YES girl, SAME.

    Ordering several copies of her book for xmas gifts now!

  4. Darcy says...

    Ahhh! I adore Kate and her poems and just her all around presence. I have 5 copies of her book sitting on my desk to send to friends and one to keep all for myself. Congratulations, Kate!

  5. I love Kate Baer’s writing!!! The only thing I’d change about her is to give her a few extra hours or whatever she needs to start her blog again. She is brilliant, like a clairvoyant seeing into all our hearts and minds.

  6. Kaysie says...

    Kate and I just became best friends through this interview.

    Can someone let her know? :)

  7. Amelia says...

    “In my life, I’ve been very thin and now am plus size. And having the experience of both has been so eye opening to how other people see and treat you. How people respond to your body says more about them and their insecurities than it does about you.” — oh my gosh, I related SO HARD to this. All my life I’d been fat shamed by my own family for being chubby, when really it was just them projecting their own insecurities on to me. I wasn’t even fat then, just awkward and not as stick thin as they would’ve liked! Now I’m 50 pounds heavier than I’ve ever been thanks to a combination of birth control pills (thanks, hormones!), injuries that prevented me from working out and then just plain laziness (see: the pandemic), and the negative comments have been coming hard and fast. And yet, I weirdly find that I can’t be arsed to feel bad about myself? Sure I’d love to be able to fit into the many cute clothes I have from when I was probably half my size now, but I just don’t have the same amount of self-loathing that I had in my teens and 20s that feels like the crucial factor to forcing myself back into shape. I guess I’m happy in my 40s and can see with the benefit of hindsight that being thin *was* being performative to a large extent — I was happy and validated when others complimented me on my looks/size etc, but I also remember the roiling insecurities inside and the hollow feeling that came from deriving self worth from how others saw me. Not that my self esteem is that high now, but I find that others’ unsolicited opinions about my body just don’t matter to me as much as it used to. Actually, the fact is that my body or state of it thereof is actually none of their damn business, and I’m just sorry it took me so long to realize that.

    • Maya says...

      This was so empowering to read! Thanks Amelia :)

  8. Emily says...

    This was so inspiring — I just ordered 5 books to gift to some friends (maybe with cozy candles and tea?) Thanks for the idea an opportunity to support a fellow creative working mom. Can anyone recommend a “nowish” read that’s similarly beautiful for a female friend who is going through infertility? I worry the section about ‘motherhood’ being isolating for her, but I’d love to gift her a book along the same lines as Kate’s. You guys always have the best suggestions. Thanks CoJ!

    • ANNA FLECK says...

      I really want to read Kate’s book but having been through two miscarriages this year, I’m worried the motherhood poems will make my sad heart hurt even more. I’m saving it for a day that might never come. But, I am loving Jan Richardson’s book of poems – A Cure For Sorrow. She writes so beautiful about grieving. I’m not sure if that would exactly resonate with your friend, but there is a lot of loss in infertility, so it may be worth a look.

    • Emily says...

      Thanks Joanna! I love So Many Thoughts and that’s an awesome suggestion. I’d love to support E.H. too, since she gives me so many smiles. Anna — I am sorry to hear about what you are going through. That was me from 2011-2015 when I finally became a mama to my frankly miraculous daughter. I’m not saying this from a religious place, but keep the faith! You WILL arrive at a place of peace with this pain someday, one way or another. A gorgeous book of short stories that I read about women when I was in the thick of it was “Goodnight, Beautiful Women” by Anna Noyes. Kinda moody and melancholic, and largely takes place in Maine where I grew up. It really just spoke to me. Actually that might be perfect for the one friend I was commenting about in the first place!

  9. Shannon McQuilkin says...

    “Like a wife” poem made me cry. So simple. So beautiful. So relatable.

  10. Julee says...

    The difference between being healthy and being thin- the difference between a life for yourself and a performative life-
    KATE, THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS. MY MIND IS OFFICIALLY BLOWN.
    As a mother of four, and a woman who has been all kinds of weights and sizes, I NEEDED TO HEAR ANOTHER WOMAN SAY THIS.
    Sorry for shouting, but you have literally opened the window and let me out of a cage.
    Now excuse me, Imma go order your book.

    • Sarah says...

      I teared up when reading that part!

  11. Stephanie says...

    This is my all my time fave Beauty Uniform post! The realness, authenticity and frankness is down right refreshing. I ordered the book from my local bookshop immediately. Thanks Kate, you’re the real MVP!

  12. Erin says...

    I cried a tiny bit when she mentioned the staff member in Panera who asked her about her book, and saved her the good booth. Just the simple act of kindness, something about that small detail made me feel so much love and joy for humankind.
    What a great post!

  13. Allison says...

    I forgot I pre-ordered your book and when it showed up in the mail today it was such a happy surprise. I’m savoring it. Thank you for this gift.

  14. jodbug says...

    Just ordered!

  15. Meredith says...

    This interview was really touching to me – I quickly ordered Kate’s book. I can’t wait to read! Thank you for introducing me to someone so talented.

  16. Jen says...

    I love the the Beauty Uniform series. You think it’s going to be all about lip gloss but it’s actually about the complex souls of complex women relating to their bodies in complex times. I love it, and I love Kate Baer’s profile especially for keeping it so real. Book on order.

    • Sasha L says...

      You’ve nailed it. Let’s talk shampoo, but then deep deep feelings show up and before you know it you’re crying, or cheering! Or both.

  17. Elizabeth says...

    Thank you. I love no makeup beauty uniforms. I love her work.

    • Sasha L says...

      Me too. And I love hearing the why – why no makeup.

      I’m still trying to figure out my own answer – screw the patriarchy? I like to sleep in? It’s expensive and I’m cheap? I don’t really know what I’m doing? I like the way I look?
      Yes.

      And although I’m the kind of weirdo that absolutely loves a post about makeup, chat about makeup, recs about makeup and tons of photos of different beautiful looks – I feel immediate sisterhood for others who don’t use makeup. Even if we have nothing else in common.

    • Amelia says...

      Sasha L — Same!! Makeup had always felt so intimidating to me, until I figured out I could wear as little or as much as I wanted to, which was not only totally freeing, it allowed me to really pare down (and cheap out!) on the products I do use. Also as a kid in the 80s, I guess I was really NOT into the electric blue eyeshadow Jem-and-the Holograms aesthetic of the decade, and then I never really got the fuss my girlfriends made over makeup as a teen — the time of life when we probably least need makeup! As a consequence I kinda missed the decade or so when it was considered acceptable to really experiment (and maybe get things wrong/too heavy handed) and now it’s like if I don’t exhibit mastery of all the possible techniques, I’m somehow seen as less competent/sort of a failure at being a woman?

      As a grown woman now, I find I really like the smokey eye look but sadly have to resign myself to the fact that I just can’t achieve the look on my own — I always just look like I just got punched in the eye instead — and have also never managed to crack the code to the perfect winged cat eye look. It could also be due to the fact that I’m too lazy to really practice, ha!

      Maybe it’s because I find that the longer I spend putting on (or trying to put on) makeup, the more flaws I find to obsess over! (Is it just me being weird?) So now I embrace the extreme minimalist look — just enough makeup to NOT look like death warmed over — and therefore a dead simple routine that lets me get ready in 10 mins flat for work. That’s about as long as my attention span can take! I can talk makeup but I also feel immediate kinship with anyone who goes makeup-free.

  18. CP says...

    I’m so glad to see this. I can relate to her and I’m so glad this post includes products that are reasonably priced!! What a relief from the expensive products I would never feel comfortable purchasing.

  19. April says...

    I’ve always been an avid reader but haven’t ever been particularly drawn to poetry until I read some of Kate’s poems on this site. Can’t wait to get my hands on her book.

  20. Lisa says...

    This is really the best. I came back to it today just so that I could post a comment for the very first time. Her morning routine, descriptions of Panera, and the poem Like a Wife… I can’t get enough!

  21. Claudia says...

    Best My Beauty Uniform article, ever! I would so much like to be her friend! :))

  22. Danielle says...

    The morning routine of champions. I do the same!

  23. Jillian Schweitzer says...

    Oh my god, I have never clicked so fast on a blog link in my life. I want to sit and be besties with her so bad. I pre-ordered her book and I can’t wait for it to hit my mailbox.

  24. Laura says...

    Hey that’s my morning routine too ! xox

    • Julee says...

      I KNOW, mine too!
      Husband says “I’m leaving, the kids had their breakfast”- and then, only then, my eyes fly open, I put on my cape (ha), and get going.

  25. Pru says...

    Like one of your other readers, I will be reading this post a lot more times, over and over again. I need to get some vaseline as Kate has some of the best skin I have ever seen!

    I couldn’t get the link to the scent to work this morning – any idea what Kate uses?

    • Fl Girl says...

      Bobbi brown beach eau perfume

  26. Bridget says...

    May I ask about Kate’s transparent peach coloured glasses please? Lovely.

    • Korin B says...

      I’ll second that. I love those. And the green overalls. Please share.

    • Heather says...

      Bridget, I like them too! I asked the same below and Kate said they’re blue light glasses from Amazon.

  27. Paige says...

    Thank you Kate! From a newish mother of two who is trying to find the beauty in the chaos.
    (And thank you Joanna for introducing Kate’s work to me months ago)

    • Julee says...

      When I was a kid (ok, until I was a mother), I thought having a baby would be like that scene from Lady and the Tramp- all beautiful gentle singing, wearing lovely gowns, babies in cradles…
      In reality, for me, motherhood has been mysterious, messy, loud- but bright and lovely, too.

  28. Colleen says...

    I got my book today and am trying to savor and read it as slowly as possible, but I’m pretty sure I’m devouring it Like a Wife. It’s just so so good.

  29. Katie says...

    I got my copy today and am excited to dive in. I’ve been a huge fan of hers ever since she wrote about shitting glass after giving birth. (About 6 years ago, I was pregnant with my first child and nervous about childbirth, and my best friend felt it appropriate to send me a link to that blog post. hah.)

    Kate, I’m so happy for all of your successes. I hope someday you’ll continue with your photography — I remember your pictures of your family were so beautiful.

  30. Lindsey says...

    I think this is the first time I have ever owned an outfit seen on someone on CoJ Beauty Uniform. I have the same overalls, only mine are blue, not green, and I have taught my two year old to call them “dungarees.” Can’t wait to read this book. Ordering from local bookstore now. Thank you for sharing this with the world. xoxo

  31. Jana says...

    I am so glad I’m not the only one who has stopped wearing makeup EXCEPT for eyebrows. It’s like clothes and makeup are from a different lifetime. Kate, your morning routine speaks to me.

  32. Anna says...

    Kate Baer is just the best, and her poetry is always so beautiful. I loved reading more about her in this feature, and especially admired how she clearly knows herself, respects herself, and has zero pretense. That’s a pretty rare – and very refreshing – combination. All the best on your book debut, Kate!

  33. Megan OConnor says...

    I find some of Kate’s poems so beautiful/real/true/painful/insightful they are almost unbearable and I have to look away before continuing. She’s an absolute treasure. Thanks for this feature on her.

  34. ML says...

    A friendly note that Audre Lorde is spelled incorrectly!

  35. Olivia says...

    What do you want to teach your kids about beauty?
    “I hope they understand the difference between trying to be healthy and trying to be thin. One is for ourselves and one is for other people. Living for other people, it’s always a losing battle. Any time your life is performative, you’re missing out on the good things, the juicy things. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, that wasn’t spelled out for us, and I hope it is for them.“

    All of her answers are poetry too. My friends and I have a Kate Baer fan club, everytime she posts we are always like “how does do that??”

  36. J. says...

    Thank you for this beautiful interview with one of the people whom I most admire!! (and to whom Cup of Jo introduced me originally!!!)

    Kate, I’m not sure you will see this, but nothing has stopped my wholly unnecessary, deeply unkind, and life-long detestation of and battle with my body dead in its tracks like reading Robyn Hood for the first (or second, third, fourth, twelfth) time, and so, SO much of what you write moves me to stunned, grateful, honest tears so easily. Margaret Atwood is also my favorite author, and I feel like you are already in the canon of writers alongside her who speak so loudly and calmly to the heart and soul of so many experiences women have.

    I pre-ordered the book a couple of weeks back and can’t wait to receive it and also give it as Christmas gifts to a few dear friends!!!

    (I also laughed out loud at the Jan smelling candles reference– that is one of the best episodes of television in existence!!!)

    • Dawn says...

      J.,
      I could’ve written this exact comment. Kate’s words have changed the way I talk to/think about my body. And I agree that the Jan candle episode is one of the all-time best on tv.

  37. Regina says...

    COJ introduced me to Kate and I am so grateful. I love her work. Thrilled to live in a world where she does and excited for my pre-order copy of her book to arrive! Thank you for bettering my life, COJ!

    • Jennifer says...

      I love poetry but I find most very sad and depressing. I don’t identify w the negativity. Poems should lift up, just a tad. It is clear gender dynamics so different in US versus Europe or rest if the world. Perhaps some day she will write more happy poems… I gravitate towards more hopeful poems writing and books.

    • Shirley says...

      Hey Jennifer, I respectfully disagree- I find Kate’s poems to be freeing and validating. Very introspective, and sometimes challenging, but I do not find them to be sad nor depressing. Also- and I mean this in the very best way, why shy away from things that make you sad? Sometimes you need to be sad. I understand not dwelling in the sad, but no need to deny it or run away from it.

  38. Sharon says...

    Wow, wow, wow. I feel so lucky to be a woman during this time. I realize we still have stuff to work through, but having leaders like this makes it all feel possible.

    • Katharine says...

      Kate is radiantly beautiful. Her photos make me so happy! And I feel her poetry deep in my soul. Thank you for sharing all these extraordinary women with us Joanna.

  39. EG1972 says...

    I love this the most of all the the beauty uniforms.

  40. Annie Ramsay says...

    Honestly, for all the wonderful posts you all make, this is one of the very best. Thank you.

  41. Karen says...

    Good. I’ve missed her having left Instagram. Thanks COJ for reminding me of this beauty of words

  42. Karen T. says...

    I’ve been following Kate since you featured her here. Her poems move me (and I’m so not a poem-lover) and wow, she’s stunning. No makeup necessary.

  43. Juliette says...

    I just called my local bookstore and they’re ordering it for me (I advised them to get acopy for the store as well ;)). I’m looking forward to the book of course, but I have to say, I love her instagram captions after each poem, somehow they tie everything together even more perfectly!

  44. Quinn says...

    So happy to see this! Thanks CoJ for introducing me to Kate’s poetry a while back and for this lovely follow-up. :) Can’t wait to get and gift her book!

  45. Kara says...

    Any time I read one of Kate’s poems, I cry. Even one like “Like a Wife”…I think I feel so understood, they’re like a strike to my soul, and my physical response to that is tears. I’m patiently waiting her book in the mail and will keep a box of tissues nearby as I read!

  46. Katie P. says...

    I absolutely adore Kate – thank you so much for featuring her! She’s talented, funny and gorgeous to boot.

  47. Joy says...

    I think I need to read this interview every day. How inspiring! I, too, have been pretty different sizes. I was naturally thin for most of my life, until I needed antidepressants and now I’m honestly just like “medium,” but it’s shocking how much differently I feel I’m being perceived (or let’s be honest, just not perceived at all…losing my “thin privilege” seemed to render me invisible in most situations). So this line really stood out to me:

    “How people respond to your body says more about them and their insecurities than it does about you.”

    Can’t wait to read every poem in that book!!!

  48. Kathleen says...

    I pre-ordered this book a while ago and saw it shipped yesterday. Can’t wait to read it! Also planning to order a few copies for friends this week since I know first-week book sales are important to authors.

  49. Emily Krisenthal says...

    God I love her so much. She’s on my dream dinner party guest list for sure.

    I’m so excited about her book being released today that I just bought two more copies.

  50. Lindsay says...

    Ok…I’m in love with her😍

  51. Rachel says...

    Kate’s morning routine is so relatable! Also, I’ve also stopped wearing makeup during the pandemic, and recently I’ve realized that for the first time in my adult life, I feel more beautiful without makeup than with it!

    • Elisabeth says...

      Me too! Sometimes if I’m Zoom, I’ll fill in my eyebrows… but that’s pretty much it. I wonder sometimes if I’ll go back to what I did before or just not worry about it. I hope it’s the latter.

  52. Gemma says...

    Loved these insights from Kate and fanning out a little over here! Received her book here in UK today after pre-ordering months ago, and read it in one sitting! What kind of man had me in tears. Her writing is funny, breathtaking and life affirming. Thanks for sharing COJ :)

  53. This is my favorite beauty uniform to date! Does anyone know where her glasses are from? Or have a similar pair? I love that translucent pink frame. I got a similarly colored pair from Warby but love the angles on Kate’s!

    • Heidi says...

      I have a similar pair of reading glasses from The Loft.

    • Kim says...

      I asked her once on Instagram and they’re on amazon.

  54. Meghan says...

    I ordered her book yesterday for my SIL for Christmas. I know she’s going to love it Congratulations on your book, Kate! You’re a force. <3

  55. Camille says...

    She is so so beautiful, she seems also so kind and down to earth. I would love to know Kate in person and I am putting her book on my wishlist right now. I feel very connected to this post, it looks like us. Love it. Thank you for sharing it.

    • Sasha L says...

      One of my favorite parts of COJ is when someone in the comments of a post feels represented by the person featured. That little tingle of “she’s like me” and the warmth of validation that she’s awesome and so am I. We all belong here. We belong everywhere. I just can never get enough of it.

  56. I love this home and these photos. Gonna get this book for sure though I usually find it scary…brings back horrible memories of high school English when Shakespeare felt like random meaningless words to me and then I was called on. UGH. But this is beautiful. Thanks for sharing :)

  57. Ali says...

    Kate is awesome! So happy to get her book today!

  58. Sarah says...

    This was awesome.

  59. Catherine says...

    I love her poetry so much and her book came today! I’ve ordered more for Christmas gifts.

  60. Lori says...

    “I hope they understand the difference between trying to be healthy and trying to be thin. One is for ourselves and one is for other people. Living for other people, it’s always a losing battle. Any time your life is performative, you’re missing out on the good things, the juicy things.”

    AMEN.

  61. Emilie says...

    Oh Kate. Thank you for your poems, and also for making my Christmas gift list much easier this year! Multiple copies ordered from my wonderful local bookstore as they were already sold out <3

    The day first time I read your poem "Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels", I sobbed. My eyes are leaking now thinking about it. Thank you for speaking to and for all of us (as a single and child free woman).

    Saw your link to this amazing Spotify New-Book-Themed Playlist today and it is fueling me as I sit here working,: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/129xJZhM2nhl0wFAMq14qr

  62. Holly says...

    KATE!! Can we be best friends…? I loved absolutely everything about this post and her answers. Buying this book today!

  63. jane says...

    I love her, thank you for the introduction! I just had a big conversation about poetry last night so this post feels a bit eerie but on point. I will buy the book.

    Also I’ve never thought it was about being fat or thin – just about being fit, so we don’t end up on levitating couches like the humans in Wall-E. Can you run 5k whenever you want or need to? Are you digesting properly? Is your heart healthy? That’s all that matters. Healthy and happy is always the Most beautiful.

  64. Alex Pearl says...

    Loving everything about her! Just wanted to send a little positive vibe rather than the trolls on her instagram (and everyone’s instagram…). xoxo

  65. Meg says...

    Yes!!! So happy to see this beauty uniform. My copy of What Kind of Woman arrived today and I cannot waaaait till the baby’s down tonight and I can pour a glass of wine and dive in.

    Kate, if you’re reading this, I didn’t know till now that you’re in Harrisburg. I sorta grew up in Carlisle. So, hello former neighbor. I have recently gotten back into reading poetry regularly (and writing a bit) and you are definitely an inspiration for me in this. I love seeing your work and thoughts on Instagram. Thank you!!!

  66. Louisa says...

    I’ve been obsessively reading Leslie Jamison lately, who notes in one book that she drives out to a truck stop in Iowa to do her writing in the middle of the night. I love this image, but I’m loving Panera-as-office even more.

  67. Lynn says...

    This might be my favorite beauty uniform ever! Finally one that resonates with this suave shampoo and pants from the floor mom.

  68. Denise says...

    I just cheered “YES!” upon reading Like A Wife. Good for you. It also highlights how angry I am in general that my response would’ve been to (try not to) punch him in the face whereas you wrote a scathing succinct poem. You use your words So good.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      I said “yes” when I read it, too!

  69. Mel says...

    Gah, I love her. My book *should* be arriving today and I am anxiously awaiting its arrival. And YES to that morning routine. My baby woke me up at 5:15 and I thought I *could* get up and do something with myself, decided that was dumb, put her back in her crib curled up with my dog and let myself be woken up by my 4 year old who needed to get dressed, bag packed and out the door in 10 minutes. Totally worth the extra sleep. Still wearing jammies. I’m thrilled that someone like Kate, with her talent, is getting the accolades she deserves.

  70. Emily Martin says...

    Just ordered from my local independent bookseller! Thank you!

  71. I just got a voicemail yesterday that my pre-order of her book is in. I cannot wait to go pick it up. Her poetry, that’s the real beauty uniform.

  72. Jenna says...

    Kate’s book was the first one I have ever preordered, and I did it months and months ago, right when the pandemic was so overwhelming. I knew it would give me something to look forward to and that I could be a totally different mind set when I received it. Even though COVID still feels so overwhelming, I feel so much better than I did during that time. I am SO excited to get home tonight and see my copy in my mailbox!! Going to have a hot bath, a glass of wine, and devour it while my kids bang on the bathroom door.

  73. Jessica says...

    Just a minor note to the the COJ team: when you link to products that are mentioned, it would be helpful to inlude the name of the item rather than “this” which is hyperlinked. As an international reader, the links don’t always work properly for me, and it drives me bonkers not knowing what was referenced!

    • Christina says...

      Good point, Jessica! For your reference:
      hair: Not Your Mother’s Beach Babe Texturizing Dry Shampoo
      scent: Bobbi Brown Beach eau de parfum
      eyebrows: L’Oreal Paris Brow Stylist Definer (eyebrow pencil with spoolie)

    • liz says...

      same! links don’t work for me either when I read at work (I’m in the US) so “this” means nothing, unfortunately. no biggie either way just wanted to share input if it’s helpful!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you! I’m adding in names now!

    • Lauren says...

      I second this!!

    • Sefira says...

      This is also an accessibility issue. For those using screenreaders and other adaptive technology, it’s best practice for the hyperlinked text to be descriptive, even if just ‘this lipgloss’. Otherwise when these readers get the list of links read to them all they hear is ‘this’, ‘this’, ‘this’ – making it impossible to know which they want to click. A little more description in the hyperlinked text goes a long way. The University of Minnesota has a good explainer on this if you’d like to read more.

    • Kerri says...

      Lol! Yes to this!!!

  74. This interview literally made me chuckle (makeup, morning routine, and Panera), get goosebumps (the poem!), feel my heart squeeze (wisdom for her children, catharsis of writing). In other words, feel all the feels. I had not heard of “instagram poet” or Kate Baer before. Thank you so much for introducing us to this lovely voice and person. Looking forward to getting her book for the holidays!

  75. oneida says...

    I love this beauty uniform. For most of my young life I thought in order to be a true creative, I had to be this ideal of an artsy person – living in the city, going to modern art shows, dressing eclectic, styling my home in a certain way, reading deep philosophy, etc. (btw, if that’s you, more power to you!). Or perhaps a recluse, contemplating life slowly by a still pond in a cabin with no electricity and a pump for water, wearing worn jeans and letting my hair go wild as I eat from the fruits of nature and write with a typewriter or better, a fountain pen (again, if that’s you, own it!) I love that Kate is fully who she is and fully creative in a life that a good portion of us might frequent – whether it’s marriage, motherhood, chain restaurants, Target, a person-sized body in sweats – and that it all can add up to a beautiful life that is worth being shared.

    • Sarah says...

      This is right on!

    • Meg says...

      Loved this Oneida. Also such a “mood” here you’ve painted with the two artsy people you’ve described, I totally get pulled into thoughts about who I should be and what type of life I should lead, and I loved your spot-on descriptions. But yeah, mostly I’m just going to Target and drinking diet coke which is probably on nobody’s mood board but whatever, I’m me.

    • J. says...

      Thank you for sharing, Oneida– what a beautiful comment!– I’ve read it several times and get more goodness out of it each time (and I’m not sure if you are the same Oneida, but if you are- but I remember vividly your comment about your daughters from a few years ago and the quiet ones/ones we’re clapping extra long for!) You are a wonderful writer! xx

    • Dawn says...

      Yes x100, Oneida! I was hesitant to pursue a graduate degree in literature because I don’t spend my days smoking at coffee shops while wearing a beret.

      Meg, your comment made me seriously laugh out loud.

    • oneida says...

      Meg – haha, that’s a great mood board…Target and diet coke! I’d like to think I’m spending nights gazing at the stars and contemplating life, but really I’m eating potato chips in bed while reading easy-to-read fiction novels every. single. night. I guess that’d be my mood board.

      J. – You are so sweet! Yes, that’s me! I am so surprised and touched that that resonated with people, because little does my girl know how much her quiet act spoke to others. Also…I’m still the only Oneida I’ve met, though I know others are out there!

  76. Jenne says...

    I looooove her! Thanks Joanna and co. for introducing her poetry to me. My copy of her book is in the post and I cannot wait to read it.

  77. Stephanie says...

    I think I just fell in love with Kate. I’ve never been one for poetry, and always felt it to be pretentious… but this just hit me in the gut! I am officially a new convert. Thank you for sharing yourself with us, Kate.

  78. Katie says...

    Oh to have that luscious hair!
    My book arrived today–I can’t wait to dig in!! <3

  79. SM says...

    I didn’t think I could love Kate any more, but of course, there is more to love about this phenom. Thanks for featuring her on COJ. I am looking forward to reading WKOW and gifting it to friends.

  80. Amy says...

    Kate’s dimple! Gosh I love a dimple, on any face at all.

    Also, I need to remember that vaseline trick. With all the hand washing at school these days (we’re fortunate to be in a low-numbers area of Canada with daily in-person public school, and the kids literally wash their hands 16+ times per school day), we’ve instituted a lotion regimen for the kids.

    • becky says...

      If you find straight Vaseline too greasy like I do, I’ve been using Vaseline brand intensive cream (the white bottle) on my hands and body for the lady 22 years, since I was 13! I can not wash my hands or shower without using it.

    • Capucine says...

      Weleda Skin Food will do the trick if you feel leery of petroleum-based Vaseline.

  81. Andrea says...

    Can’t wait to buy a few copies to send to my best friends! And it’s so nice to see a fellow Harrisburg, PA resident :)

  82. Laura says...

    This made me laugh out loud. I deeply identify with this no-nonsense approach to beauty and love that she admits to writing her book in a Panera. I wonder how many times she burst into tears over her soup and sandwich combo. Her poem “Deleted Sentences” makes me cry every time I read it. It’s not fashionable in modern feminism to admit that you love and need your husband, but that poem totally nails the visceral dependence you have on your spouse when raising young children.

  83. Christine says...

    I sent a few friends your book for them to receive as a surprise. I’m so looking forward to the enjoyment they are going to have reading it.

    And now I’m off to go buy a big tub of Vaseline because it’s doing real good things for you lady!

  84. E says...

    Living for this realness! Everything available at Target? check! Pants off the bathroom floor? Double check! I feel seen :)

  85. ANNE SCHERMERHORN says...

    You take my breath away….thank you. I’m a Nana who wears the bathing suit and lets that gray hair grow. I am ordering your books for all the young amazing women in my life.

  86. Elizabeth says...

    Kate,
    I used to read your blog back in the day and I’ve always been a fan of your writing. I am SO HAPPY for you having a book published today. All the best!

  87. CaraM says...

    I love this woman even more based on this post alone! Thanks for being so real. I will be adding your book to my Christmas list.

  88. Elizabeth says...

    Surprised and delighted to see a fellow Harrisburg, PA resident featured on here! Kate – any chance you’re related to Rosemary and John Baer?

  89. Alex says...

    Kate – I think you are just the best. Thank you for your poetry and your point of view and for making me (and clearly so many other ladies) feel seen and supported. I can’t wait for my copy of the book to arrive.

    PS – your morning routine! Same.

  90. Katherine says...

    So excited to see Kate on the blog! Really love her poetry and the strength/energy she shares with her readers

  91. M says...

    Just ordered the audiobook!

  92. caitlin says...

    I preordered five dang copies of this book for all my friends who had babies this year AND homegirl is from my hometown! so excited for her!

  93. Ruth says...

    I first learned about Kate reading her here over a year ago and I honestly feel like she’s life changing. Her views on what it means to be a woman and all the sorrows and joys we go through are so spot on. I have her book ready to read this evening, after my kids are asleep and my husband is off doing something that doesn’t include bothering me. :-)

    • Molly says...

      “…and my husband is off doing something that doesn’t include bothering me.” Ha ha ha!! Love my husband but this made me laugh so much!!

  94. I love that she wrote most of the book at Panera. That’s where my husband studied for the bar exam. It’s such a chill, unfussy, reliable place. Ha!

  95. Sarah says...

    Kate, your poetry has touched me so profoundly and this beauty uniform was *chef’s kiss* magnificent. I have been struggling with my postpartum weight gain lately and am grateful for the reminder to seek health (real health, not thinness) and to appreciate my body as is. Just ordered your book and am so excited!

  96. Kelli says...

    Your book will be waiting for me on my doorstep tonight when I get home from work and girl I JUST CANNOT WAIT!!!!!!!!!! I foresee a late night in my immediate future <3 <3

  97. Claire says...

    Such a lovely post! And you have the most incredible skin :) I have never felt terribly drawn to poetry as I felt like I didn’t know “how” to read them, but I love Kate’s because I feel like I don’t need to study them to “get it.” They resonate with me as a woman right away (albeit childless, unmarried, etc.). Also, your book cover is so pretty!

  98. Maywyn says...

    I love the first Baer poem I read. Thank you

  99. Jen McGowan says...

    Best thing I have ever read on these beauty uniform posts – and I read them all!

    “I hope they understand the difference between trying to be healthy and trying to be thin. One is for ourselves and one is for other people. Living for other people, it’s always a losing battle. Any time your life is performative, you’re missing out on the good things, the juicy things. Growing up in the 80s and 90s, that wasn’t spelled out for us, and I hope it is for them.”

    • Jenn says...

      This resonated with me, too!

  100. Mary Beth says...

    Another jewel in the “Cup of Jo” crown. I could not love this site — or its community — more. Congrats, Kate!

  101. Hannah M says...

    Yes! Can’t wait to receive my book in the mail and this beauty routine is such a breath of fresh air. Congrats to Kate and thanks to CoJ for highlighting her amazing work!

  102. Love her! I am right with getting up at the last second. No need to rush the start of the day!

  103. hanna says...

    love Kate’s morning routine so much! and the body positivity even more.

  104. Meg.F says...

    I AM A DIE HARD KATE BAER FAN! Her heart and wisdom are forever inspiring, of course her beauty uniform is too.

  105. Jill says...

    Kate is fabulous! My daughter will LOVE her book for Christmas.
    Just lovely!

  106. Kristina says...

    I love Kate Baer so much. Her “found poems” from nasty DMs she receives take my breath away. I am so inspired by the way she literally finds truth and beauty in darkness. And I really love the idea of a talent being a surprise in life. Hoping to be surprised by something inside myself soon ; ) I preordered my book ages ago but will buy more now as Christmas presents. Thank you for sharing more of Kate with us! And thank you, Kate for sharing your words with us.

  107. Dana says...

    This was so pleasant. Love the combination of simplicity & strength, in both the writing and the living.

  108. Agnès says...

    What I like best about your site is your love for poetry. Thanks to you I know Kate Baer and adore her poetry; I find it intense, cruel, raw, so real. I hope to get this book shipped to France in time for christmas! (my gift to myself, yes).
    That poem “Like a wife” I love it so much I want to embroider it.

    • jdp says...

      i want to eat it! :)

  109. shannon says...

    Thank you, Jo for introducing me to her!

    I’m so excited my book arrives today!!!

  110. Sage says...

    Her poetry is not for me, but I loved this interview. :)

  111. katie says...

    That fragrance sounds like bliss. I used to work in downtown DC and each spring/summer, when the tourists would arrive, I’d inevitably walk past a family of sweaty, tired kiddos & joyfully inhale the smell of Water Babies sunscreen that was clearly slathered everywhere.

    I have two particularly phenomenal women in my life but both are struggling with having children as well as adoption. Any readers of her work in the same boat who’d say it’s okay/not triggering? I’d love to gift it, but worry about that part.

    • C says...

      What a lovely thought! As someone who is struggling to conceive (but already a mother) I sense it would be triggering to me if I was not already a mother but wanted to be as it focuses a lot on motherhood.

    • NH observer says...

      Agreed, having been in the recurrent miscarriage trenches. But how kind of you to think about it! I’m sure you are a wonderful friend.

  112. Megan says...

    Yes!! So happy to see this 🙌🏻 I have the biggest girl crush on her; she makes me feel seen with her words. Can’t wait until my copy of her book comes in the mail today but this helped to ride me over, thank you!

  113. Calla says...

    Love her! Can’t wait to read the book!

  114. Rachel says...

    What a lovely interview–I haven’t read much poetry in life but Kate’s really makes me want to dig in. (And I love seeing a picture with the garden witch overalls!!)

    • Jean says...

      Like a Wife hit me right in the tear ducts. Thank you Kate. You’re a badass mama and an inspiration.

    • E says...

      Hahaha I also immediately thought about those overalls! I love Gee Thanks, Just Bought it, and Kate’s episode was maybe my favorite so far???

  115. Heather says...

    Thank you so much for this. I also thought that poetry was not for me (reading it, not writing it) until I read Kate’s here on Cup of Jo. I love that she writes at Panera. It reminds me of an article I read years ago about all of the vital community services that McDonald’s provides beyond being a restaurant – as a clean, safe place where people can sit for an inexpensive meal, where groups of older people can gather to socialize.

    I also love her pink glasses and wonder if she would share the source?

    • Hi Heather! Blue light glasses on Amazon!

    • Heather says...

      Oh, thank you, Kate!

  116. Allie says...

    I’m so, so excited to read Kate’s book. I’ve been a devout follower of her on Instagram ever since I first heard about her here on CoJ. And now I feel like I know her a little better! Thanks for the great and inspiring profile. To heck with the 5AM cardio and lemon water (not that I was doing it anyway) and leaning into the warmth and love. Thank you, thank you!

  117. Elizabeth Bumpers says...

    LOVE HER!!

  118. Allyson says...

    I JUST LOVE HER SO MUCH! I totally *knew* the perfume was going to be Bobbi Brown Beach. If we could do a sports style draft of internet strangers to be real life friends with, she’s my #1 draft pick. And that photo of her on the couch with her four children on her is teary-eyed level lovely. One more thought before I stop gushing; why don’t we call men plus size? It’s so silly.

    • Hellyes says...

      OMG, WHY DON’T WE CALL MEN PLUS SIZE?! I am changing that in my own vocabulary TODAY. NOW. AND FOREVER.

      You just made me frickin day.

    • EW says...

      Ha! “If we could do a sports style draft of internet strangers to be real life friends with, she’s my #1 draft pick.”

      Mine is Maggie Haberman (NYT Journalist) and every time she’s on the front page my kids tell me, “Mom, your BFF Maggie is on the front page again!”

    • Rachel says...

      Omg! Why don’t we call men plus size?!?! Why have I never wondered that. The patriarchy is in my brain! Thank you!

    • Jane says...

      You don’t? In my language, we do! That’s so strange and a really interesting point!

  119. kylie says...

    wow! the beauty uniform I didn’t realize that I was waiting for! yes, Kate Baer!

  120. Maclean Nash says...

    I cant wait to read her book!
    She is GLOOWWWINGG!!!

  121. MG says...

    Now THAT is a morning routine I can identify with! Can’t wait to read the book.

  122. H says...

    This is my favorite beauty uniform post ever! Kate, you are honest, talented, and beautiful! I especially loved and can relate to Kate’s morning routine. I just called my local bookseller and put a copy of “What Kind of Woman” on hold. It’s been a long seven days, it’s snowing (again) in Minnesota, and I need a good book to curl up with.

  123. Kai says...

    Should be getting my copy in the mail today! Can’t wait. Her poems capture that crystallized intensity of motherhood–so beautiful and breathtakingly nostalgic and hard and isolating, all crushed into one.

  124. sarah says...

    I love Kate’s poetry so much! She has such a way of saying so much with just a few words. My favorite thing from her instagram feed is when she shuts down the trolls with poetry–it’s perfection.

    I have a question, for Kate, Joanna, and any other writer/creative mamas out there! When do you find the time to write with kids, especially now during a pandemic? My kid has been home doing online school all semester, and will likely be home next semester too. I thought I would be able to make time to write every day but it’s so much easier said than done. My daughter needs a lot of help with school and there are so many distractions! I’d love to put her to bed at night and then spend a couple hours writing but I’m always so wiped out, plus the sink is full of dishes and there’s a mountain of laundry needing to be done. I read about other mamas doing these creative things and I’m like, how do you do it? I need logistics! I would love to hear any tips anyone has to offer. Or maybe you could write a post about it Joanna?

    • Becca says...

      Being creative with kids, in general, is really hard. I struggle with this on the daily (even pre-pandemic). I even remember checking a book out from the library when my oldest was a toddler about artists who are mothers and how they deal with it. Creativity can’t be done on a schedule. Kate said that she had to go to Panera to write, and personally I relate to that 100%. I’ve gone to coffee shops on evenings and weekends and hired babysitters in the past just so I can get some time to think. I would try to do mundane tasks like folding laundry when my kids were playing on the floor so that I’d have more free time during kid naptime to be work on my own projects. I would take my kids to art museums so that I, myself, could feel inspired. Please remember that you are only seeing the success stories right now when you are reading about other mamas doing creative things. I can tell you, as someone who has been a creative with kids at home for almost 14 years, that there are just as many, if not more, failures and frustrations to go along with the successes. Especially during these pandemic times.

    • EW says...

      Hi Sarah, I feel every single word of your comment. This is so hard. I have one in kinder and another in 3rd grade and virtual school is torture. We partnered with another family who has a 1st grader and a 4th grader to spread out the virtual schoolwork workload among the parents.

      When I’m not taking my turn monitoring schoolwork, supervising lunch, or orchestrating recess, I run a small consulting company and am myself a consultant. I work with customers personally to deliver scientific or technical papers or communications materials based on those papers. This doesn’t mesh well with virtual elementary school. And, I think this is something not enough people are talking about.

      Many years ago when the productivity literature was all about Getting Things Done (credit to David Allen, I’m a fan), context was about BEING at work or BEING at home or BEING in your car waiting for some practice to end. We could line up our things to do based on those contexts of place. In the pandemic, our contexts are all messed up. We are mostly at home and context is no longer about a place but about a state of mind or energy level. We’re working when we’re in work mode.

      So, to your question, how do I do it? When I need to write something or think about something critically, I do it in the very early morning. At least a couple of times per week I get up at 3:00 or 4:00 a.m. and work until my kids get up around 7. It’s quiet. There are no e-mails coming in. I don’t have to be ‘camera ready’ at that hour. I can zip through my inbox, think about the next steps for the particular project, I can really engage in my work. I don’t love it but I can do it. I was doing it before when I got up to catch 5:30 a.m. flights and this is easier because I don’t have to get through security to settle at my desk. And, in the evening, I put myself to bed when my kids go to bed around 8. I’m so very done by that point.

      The other way I manage these new contexts is to think about how much effort something is going to take. I do the hard things when I have a lot of bandwidth and re-promise deadlines when necessary. I hate doing that but I do it because the product will be better, and the customer will get more value if I put as much thought into it as I can.

      None of this is great, but we can have grace. For ourselves. For each other.

    • Cathy says...

      To be honest, having a partner. It’s not helpful advice since if you don’t have one you don’t have one, but in terms of logistics, that’s how it works for me. Being wiped out after the kiddo goes to sleep is real, but it’s easier to pick yourself up and do work if the mountain of laundry and sink full of dishes is someone else’s job so all you have to do is get over being wiped out. I know some couples who assign days that are theirs, but for us, we’re more ad hoc. Days I don’t feel like working after kiddo goes to bed I do stuff around the house so he can have time to do whatever he wants during that time – it’s a pretty even split. These days it’s a little easier too because we’re both working from home so things like laundry can get done in pockets throughout the day instead of waiting for the evenings.

    • Hi Sarah! Writing in the pandemic has been miserable! Luckily WKOW was finished before Covid-19 began. We do have some of our childcare back, but this winter was dark. I have no advice, just love for you and hope for the future.

    • Alex says...

      I feel ya 100% Sarah. This feels impossible sometimes. Here’s what I do (may or may not work for you) – housework happens in bits and spurts while kids are occupied with school, each other, tv, or nap. It means the house is NEVER fully clean, but rather in a constantly rotating state of messy and/or functional. The kitchen and bathrooms are usable and there are clean clothes though sometimes we live out of laundry baskets instead of drawers/closets for a few days. I am also very lucky that my partner loves to shop and cook and he takes care of 80% of our meals. *Pro-tip – pass on some of the housework to a partner if you have one! Be specific with what you need done! Creative time is at night after the kids go to bed and I can focus for a couple of hours straight. 2-3 nights a week are productive, 2 nights a week I hangout with partner, and 2 nights a week I pass out early or veg-out with tv or a bath or social media feeds. And this can adjust as needed for deadlines or exhaustion. Good luck!

    • Nicole says...

      Hi Sarah–fellow bedraggled mom and aspiring writer here :). I attended a zoom meeting via Pen Parentis (which is a great organization to follow as a parent or writer). Here are some things that were suggested–agreeing on times with your partner that you can dedicate to writing. For me personally, that would be on the weekends to get a stretch longer than 15 minutes. The other thing I took away was take five minutes before the session to map out what is accomplishable, or certain goals, etc. I’ve found that having something actionable to do whenever I do get the time is much more effective than waiting for the muses to arrive :). Good luck!

    • sarah says...

      Wow thanks for all the feedback ladies, and Kate, thank you so much! A lot of people are mentioning partners helping. I have an incredibly supportive husband who loves to cook and doesn’t mind doing the housework. The problem is, he’s out of town working most of the time for the next few months, and even when he is home he works 70-80 hours a week (he works in the film biz). I usually don’t rely on babysitters but since this pandemic/homeschool situation has no end in sight, I may have to get one a few hours a week so I can leave the house (except the pandemic has made that hard being that we can’t/shouldn’t go inside coffee shops or even Panera). I just want to say to all the moms out there, you’re doing an amazing job–this is really hard right now and we need each other! ❤️

    • Kyla says...

      I heeaaarr you. I was already working from home pre-pandemic but having virtual school to contend with and my family always around and no libraries or coffee shops to go to was really challenging. I am an early bird type but I still liked to read books and the paper in the morning and drink coffee so getting up to write at 5 am just wasn’t working. And neither was writing at night, my creativity goes to bed as the sun sets. So I decided to not start my day-job work at 8:00 or 8:30 as I used to. Instead, I decided to do my workout and then writing right afterward, setting the timer for 30 minutes, listening to music and starting every day with the things most important to me personally.
      Then I start work.
      It has been 5+ months of this routine and even as we are away for a few days at the (stormy, winter) beach to destress a little, I still did my yoga and my words this morning. It finally feels like habits I want to do, not have to do. And it feels like I’m prioritizing the most important things to me after so many years of not being able to.

    • Anna says...

      I just read in an interview from an artist who is also mother to three, that the life stage with small children can be seen as a fallow period that will lend richness to your future pursuits. Taking that to heart as I do little drawings after my own kids are in bed, and having faith that my tiny effort won’t be wasted.

  125. Abby says...

    Kate! Congratulations – I know many of us have been waiting for this day. You’re just as beautiful as your words which have meant so much to me as a woman, a wife and especially as a new mom. Currently, I am patiently awaiting the arrival of my copy (and one for my mom and two best friends) Good luck in the coming weeks and thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your soul with all of us.

  126. Meg says...

    What a gorgeous woman in every way. What she has to say about her body resonates so much with me, as someone who like her has been thin and thick and is so aware of how others treat me and how I treat myself as a result. I dream of a day when we are free of the time wasted on body size! Basically I love everything about this beauty uniform. Including her earrings in the color photo with her book. Please tell me where they are from!

    • Meredith says...

      Meg- She tagged them on her instagram. :)

  127. LK says...

    Yup, this was fantastic. I’m obsessed already. The shout out to Katie Sturino, the Like a Wife Poem, the vaseline. You’re wonderful, Kate!

  128. silly lily says...

    There’s a lot to like here.

  129. Kathleen says...

    Absolutely LOVE Kate’s work and thank you COJ for introducing it to me. Even studying English in college, poetry never was my cup of tea. But I think I just had one vision of what poetry was in my head. Kate’s poetry is magic and I can’t wait to get her book in my hands!

  130. LK says...

    As soon as I saw who this was I yelled “OHHH YES”. Can’t wait to read haha.

  131. AN says...

    Just ordered 6 copies as Xmas presents, congratulations and thank you for making the world a better place!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      me too!!!