Have a Loving Weekend.

I stuck it out through the whole book and felt the same as you. Beautifully written, but almost punishing. It has stuck with me, but not in a good way.

Oops… I meant to put this under Anna’s comment!

A little fun fact: At several Norwegian universities, you can get a bachelor’s degree in friluftsliv.

Ash, I’d argue that the Cup of Jo team is not, as you say, “bowing down and professing guilt for something they are not an active participant in (racism),” but instead acknowledging that we are all complicit in systemic racism unless we actively combat it. They are using their powerful platform to heed the wisdom of Ibram X. Kendi when he says, “The only way to undo racism is to consistently identify and describe it—and then dismantle it.”
I applaud this blog for doing their part in the identifying and dismantling of racism. And no, I don’t feel guilty for the white color of my skin; I feel PISSED, and I’ll continue to fight alongside and applaud platforms like this one until our Black friends can feel safe in their own country.

I appreciate your comment because I think a lot of white people feel this way – whether Democracts or not. In my mind, Black Lives Matter and related pursuits for racial justice aren’t “bowing down” to Black communities; instead, they want to lift them up to the level white people have always been on, thanks to colonialism, slavery, and the formation of entire economic and political systems on the basis of racism (among other oppressive systems). It’s not about fetishizing, to me; it’s about being honest about our country’s past and present and lifting up the importance of being clear about the value of all lives — and in this context, Black lives in particular.

Couldn’t disagree with you more, Ash. I appreciate how thoughtful cupofjo’s handling of BLM content has been over the past few months, here and on Instagram, and I’m grateful that she continues to shine light on important issues that her massive reader base can take action on, and hopefully create change.

– Naseem
(A black reader of cupofjo)

Ash, I completely agree with you and have friends of color who feel the same way.

I know I’ll be accused of racism for saying this, but while the death of Breonna Taylor was terribly tragic, I am at a total and complete loss when it comes to her death being a racial issue. They didn’t shoot her because she was black. They shot her because when they went in her boyfriend started firing and the cops shot back. To assign racial motives to this situation, to the police or the police policy is ludicrous. No-knock policies seem pretty dumb to me, but I’m also not on the front lines dealing with criminals and drug dealers. Breonna Taylor should be alive, but let’s be clear, she’s not dead because someone had it out for a black woman.

Does racism exist? Yes! Is it systemic? In certain spheres I believe it is. But the answer is not to now assume that every situation involving the shooting of a black man or woman at the hands of the police is motivated by race.

Jacob Blake was a thug. He had a warrant out for rape. RAPE. The police were called because he was in the act of violating a restraining order involving the woman who accused him of rape. Let that sink in my lovely feminists. “I believe her.” Right? And then, among other things, he was resisting arrest. He was told multiple times to stop and put his hands-up and he did not listen. He then reached into his car (for heaven knows what) and was shot. Yes, he was shot in the back, but for all the police knew he was reaching in only to turn around with a weapon. . . keep in mind this was the same person who repeatedly ignored their orders. He didn’t seem to care that his children were sitting there watching the whole thing go down! I have no idea whether the cops knew the kids were in the car. Either way, what world are we living in when we treat this man as if he was some sort of victim?

And now, please proceed and call me a dirty rotten racist. A privileged ogre. I know there are a slew of epithets you assign to people who don’t subscribe to “progressive” liberalism. Have at it.

What baffles me is everyone buying into the “white people are by definition racist” (either consciously or unconsciously). Sticking a label on someone because of their skin color is the very definition of racism. And that’s supposed to be anti-racist?! Well, it’s definitely very divisive. Good luck on wanting to build bridges with that illogical premise…

I don’t think you are where you think you are on your journey to understanding the impact of race-based enslavement on the United States. It is completely understandable, but I think we all need to acknowledge what we don’t know. Then, we can be open to learning.

My comment has garnered a big response and I notice that many of you are telling me to educate myself about my privilege and the popular theory on power structures and race relations. It seems that you assume because I am white, i live in an ivory tower. In fact, I live in southeast DC in a predominantly black neighborhood, I have black neighbors, I teach majority Black students, and I walk the streets side by side with black people everyday. I don’t see myself as above them or below them. I don’t believe I owe them anything because of my whiteness. I treat them as equal human beings, not pons in a theoretical societal structure. I try my best to understand their situation, as I would if I lived in any neighborhood with any demographic.
The bottom line is, the BLM movement is misguided. It over-emphasizes race to the dangerous point of misattributing certain acts of violence as racial hate crimes. It incites division where there might be none. I’m not denying racism exists or denying that there are barriers to entry for people in the black community. Not at all! But we are not thinking rationally or consulting all the facts or trying to contextualize deeply complex issues. It seems that people are so desperate to publicly align themselves with what they perceive as the progressive side, and then just call everybody else names (and refuse to listen to them). It doesn’t seem progressive at all to me. Posting #blackoutuesday on Instagram, calling myself an ally, or marching in a #defundthepolice protest seems meaningless (and inauthentic and sanctimonius) to me. I live my everyday life treating everyone equally and spending my mental energy trying to understand complex problems and find real solutions rather than self-promoting my allyship to a social media movement.

Ash, thank you (again!) for putting it so plainly and clearly and respectfully!

I agree wholeheartedly with everything you’ve said and applaud you for what you’re doing in life, and for how you’re doing it. We would all do well to be more like you.

I’d also like to add that when we attribute too many things to race, we actually minimize true racism. It seems to me that there is this unhinged “mob mentality” under-girding so much of the protesting and rhetoric that it’s obscuring the real issues. Additionally, when we participate in these kinds of “movements” without critically thinking through the issues, without spending time researching and listening, we easily dismiss our personal responsibility to others. We drape ourselves in the flag of our political or social positions/ideas and then do nothing else.

Thank you again for contributing to the dialog!

Ash I think your comments speak to an important general truth about virtue signaling on social media while being complacent about tackling social issues in our real lives.

Do we have people of color in our lives in meaningful rather than tangential ways? Have we expanded our social circles to include more and different people or are we content to see and hear ourselves reflected across the dinner table? When we hear racist or derogatory comments from friends and family members, do we speak up, look the other way or agree with them? When you are tempted to judge a person for their behavior or appearance, do you remind yourself that they are, in fact, a person and though their path may look different from yours, there are probably a whole lot of contributing factors to that, many of which they would not have had any control over.

I suspect we could all make concerted efforts in our personal lives to address racism that could, collectively, have a significant impact. Let’s do it!

@andrea, you are 100% correct. She did deserve due process for her connections to illegal activities. Her boyfriend fired first (so they say) she should not have been killed. My point is this is not a racist crime. This is not policy brutality. It’s police serving an arrest warrant for someone connected to a drug ring. Do you know how many actual drug takedowns go on weekly in every neighborhood in the nation.?!

Wow, this thread is seriously horrifying. So much “I have a black friend, so I must not have a racist bone in my body” and “bad people (using my personal definition of bad) deserve to be killed, no due process necessary”. I’m disgusted. Here’s a hint, if you have to say “I hate to say it” before you say something, maybe think about why.

Ash, I knew you’d get a lot of flack for your comment, which I believe is spot on. The attitude you describe is exactly the reason I deactivated my social media accounts. I could no longer take the performative aspect of “allyship” and the willful refusal to look at these issues with nuance and intellect. I get it, racial justice is an emotional issue and Breonna Taylor has become the ultimate symbol of that rage and grief. But I agree with Roxana who said her death, while undoubtedly tragic, was not racially motivated. She was not “executed” as someone here said. She was killed accidentally as police were trying to defend themselves from being shot. Police did not act outside the law, as no knock warrants are permitted in Kentucky, stupid and cruel as that policy may be. Of course racism exists and needs to be mitigated. Of course, of course. And I am a huge believer in reparations for the ancestors of slaves. But the rhetoric surrounding BLM and the progressive social justice movement risks becoming the new McCarthyism and inspiring dangerous responses.

Paula, I think you are misrepresenting me. I never said ‘I have a black friend, so I’m not racist’. This is such a common and misused line to quickly invalidate someone’s opinion without actually hearing what they have to say. And I must ask, what about my views are abhorrent to you? Please outline specifics. And yes, I am a teacher. I don’t teach my students to expect every white person to hate them for their skin color, or wish to keep them underfoot. To the best of my ability, I teach them good character and to seek out good character in others regardless of background. And I do my best to guide them to opportunities that will help them grow to be positive members of their communities. You jumping to such extremes says more about you and your prejudices than me.

Paula,

You are the reason I home-school my children. I have no idea what you teach or to whom, but the fact that you think it’s up to you to “shape young minds” (into what? YOUR mind?) and to impart some kind of morality it frightening. The role of an educator is to introduce young minds to ideas and information (facts, not feelings), to ensure that they grasp those ideas and information, and then to model how to think critically about them (observe the distinctions, question everything, find the flaws and contradictions, etc.), so that the student comes to their OWN conclusions about reality, not YOUR conclusions.

Your job is to teach how to think, not what you think. Neither your views nor Ash’s views should have anything to do with what you teach. It’s not about you.

It’s no wonder so many young adults leave colleges and universities ignorant of history and ideas, unable to observe and process what’s going on around them, or to express themselves coherently.

Education in the West is a joke.

For the record Breonna Taylor was not a drug dealer. She was an emergency room tech. She had dated a drug dealer in the past and on record she bailed him (and an associate) out of jail in 2019. That drug dealer they were serving a warrant on WAS ALREADY INCARCERATED. This was police bungling at its finest. BLM got involved when her family was receiving no attention or communication from the city or PD regarding her death. The fact that she was black isn’t what killed her, the lack of accountability for her death is what spurred racial justice rallying. It is why we say all lives should have value. Black lives should have value. Breonna’s death wasn’t a just a black woman’s death. She was someone’s child. She matters and police killed her. I don’t know that I see legal charges being brought against the other 2 officers, but at the very least they should all be fired. Brett Hankison fired shots into Breonna’s apartment and the nearby apartments AFTER he went rogue and lost his cool. It was wanton endangement, plain and simple. He is a very young man, with a gun and there are many documented issues with him being in a position of power. Turn off COPS Kara, this was not a drug den. Warrant service does not have to be like this. Our country is high on guns and men trying to play soldier, when we need more nurses and social workers. Just because Breonna didn’t die because of her skin color, there are plenty black necks being knelt on if you would like other examples.

Just want to say that I appreciate Louisvillean’s response. Rather than flat out calling others racist, they presented further facts and reasoning (not just rhetoric) about the case that maybe many of us hadn’t considered. THAT’S how you get people to think about changing their minds. Not shutting down discussion by calling people you don’t even know abhorrent racists. Facts and details matter— well they should, anyway.

Sharon, you have every right to call people racists if that’s why you think they are. My point was that it’s not productive at all; it doesn’t help the movement whatsoever. It just makes people double down even more.

SO TRUE.

I think a commitment to celebrating time outdoors is really helpful and it’s something I have more control over. But you know what would make me even happier? Not worrying about my uninsured boyfriend.

Indeed. It relieves a lot of stress and brings calm.

Ah, Willem. My beloved book boyfriend. Sweet congrats on your baby.

Same Caroline. I loved A Little Life but rarely recommend it because it’s too heartbreaking!