Have a Lovely (Long) Weekend.

flowers

Happy Valentine’s weekend! What are you up to? I’m going on a dinner date with six-year-old Anton, who mentioned the other day that he wants some one-on-one time. I’ve been looking forward to it so much. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…

The best advertisement.

Love this article about our shared workspace. (Come join us, if you’re looking for a spot!)

What? Not everyone has an internal monologue!

These fake excuses for flaking on plans made me laugh.

What a beautiful poem.

$0 trick to make any bottle of wine taste better.

Amaaaazing places to sleep around the world. (New York Times)

Who wants some no-bake lime cheesecake?

Golden retriever doing okay after Westminster loss.

A same height party seems kind of fascinating.

Cannot wait to read this book.

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Lydia on a date night top: “I work in the apparel industry and went to a conference where the speaker said something that really struck me — the U.S. is one of the few places where the social norms dictate we wear a completely different outfit every day. When you think about this, it is a bit bonkers.”

Says Jamie on the anxiety of new parenthood: “I never really had anxious thoughts until I became a mom. For the first 6 months, I woke up every night panicking that I had lost our daughter in our duvet cover…except that she has never slept in our bed.”

(Photo by @yasminemei. Friends Work Here article via Swissmiss.)

  1. Amber J says...

    The ‘same height party’ is so bizarre!! Something about me that I never realized is rare, until recently, is that I really do not notice height. I *probably* will if someone is drastically tall or drastically short, but I honestly could not tell you if the rest of the people in the world, including people in my very own life, are tall or short or average or anything, really. Height is just not something I really… see. I wonder what a party like this would do for me 😅

    Anyone else share this weird lack of height awareness?!

  2. Per Lydia’s comment on the date night tops- when I was little we lived in Germany for a year and my math teacher wore the same 3 skirts, 1 pair of pants, 3 tops, 3 sweaters and 3 statement necklaces in different variations for the whole school year. It was in no way weird (in that time and place) that she repeated outfits and garments constantly (I think most of the teachers did, but her style was bold and made it noticeable). We went on a field trip at the end of the year and she wore different clothing and was unrecognizable.

  3. Liz says...

    Yes to Jaime! Our 3 month old has never slept in the bed, but our dog does. Something about hearing our baby’s noises and feeling a little puppy body against me is SO disorienting!!

  4. Abbey says...

    This post has two of the most startling realizations of the week. The rest of the world doesn’t switch up their outfits each day?? And some people are not able to have an inner monologue?? My plans for the weekend have just changed to pondering. Pondering only.

  5. Being a very tall woman, I would be very worried about the same height party. I am naturally shy, and being literally above everyone gives me some confidence, I think. Short women impress me, the are so strong and I admire them when I see them, out there, owning their place in the world. Seeing them at my height would be so intimidating! I would feel like these big dogs we are laughing at for being scared of small ones! (sorry for my bad English!)

  6. CS says...

    A Date Night Top comment is vey interesting. Fascinating. I have always joked that I would love it if our work place brought in a uniform policy. I wouldn’t have to spend money or time worrying about what to wear to work, and could leave expressing myself fashion-wise for my private life. The reader comment highlights the fact that the amount of money and energy we put into clothes is unnecessary, and very much imposed by our consumer culture. Xoxo

    • Abbey says...

      I work as a nanny and another nanny I worked with once simply CHOSE TO WEAR SCRUBS every day to work. Self-imposed uniform policy!! I respected that greatly. Kind of brilliant.
      I agree the amount of money and energy we put into clothes is unnecessary, but when I consider the alternative of having restrictions on what I wear each day something in me screams rebellion and I immediately crave to wear the most vivid, distinct, expressive outfit combinations in my closet hahaha :)

  7. Constance says...

    We used to stay at Farm Sanctuary every summer when I was younger- I really recommend it, so many happy memories.

  8. K says...

    Wow! That “How to be a Person” book looks like a winner. I can recall many times in my early adulthood that I thought, “Mom, how did you not teach me that?!” (Looking at you, Unfolded Fitted Sheet).
    Providing this book to my children may get me off the hook when they leave the nest.

  9. Kay says...

    I had absolutely no idea that some people are not constantly talking to themselves in their head!! I thought everyone did it, all the time.

  10. Jorj says...

    Love the poem. With a newborn in our home, I’ve begun writing out some thoughts too.

    FIRST TIME MUM
    Today I cried. As in not once today, not twice today, but today.

    RAIN
    Drip drop drip drop
    Please baby, won’t you stop?
    Your weight bears down on my worn-out wrists
    Please relax your clenched-up fists
    Rain floods and hits the roof
    My brain is mud and I wish I could
    But your eyes are tight, and my chest is too
    As tears drip drop from me and you

    • M says...

      These are so beautiful.

  11. Sam says...

    The internal monologue thing seems similar to when a friend told me she doesn’t have a mind’s eye, so she doesn’t picture people when she thinks about them or visualize what is happening when she reads a book. My mind was blown and sort of still is.

    • Alicia says...

      Yes, my mind was also blown that not everyone visualizes what is happening when reading a book. Still can’t imagine how completely different the experience of reading must be.

  12. Amy says...

    My 8yo made the same request for one-on-one time, and sagely reminded me this morning that “You can say no to people when they ask for help, Mom. Sometimes if you’re not feeling good, it’s better to say no, and people understand that.”

    So I canceled the plans I was reluctantly making for three weekends for now and I’m keeping it free for family-only stuff.

    It’s so hard to know the line between helping others as much as you reasonably can, and protecting yourself and your family from over-extending.

    • Jessica says...

      Is your child baby yoda?? That’s some next level wisdom that I am still learning in my 30s. Well done raising this mindful prodigy.

  13. kai says...

    OMG woke up cradling a pillow, terrified that it was my nebwborn, facedown in my arms, countless times with BOTH new babies for weeks after i got home. didn’t matter that they were always in a bassinette!

  14. That book looks so good! Thanks for the tip, Joanna!

  15. Paige says...

    Wow. That article about inner monologues really made me think… do people who don’t have constant inner monologues have less anxiety? Does their worry look or feel different than mine? Because I literally have to talk to myself like a therapist sometimes (more like a back and forth convo in my head) to get rid of anxious thoughts.

    • Elizabethkatt says...

      No inner monologue here and can assure you, still plenty of anxiety!

    • Lora says...

      My husband and I just spent an hour talking about the inner monologue thing. I definitely do not have one which baffles him. I occasionally “see” words in my brain but more often it’s just thoughts or concepts. However the only times I could think of experiencing something similar to an inner monologue is when I’m feeling anxious or having catastrophic thoughts. And because it’s less common for me, it’s easy to notice it and stop it. So maybe there is less anxiety?

    • Aly says...

      Hi there! I’m one of those people who don’t have an inner monologue most of the time. While I’m not sure what other people without it would say, I definitely have trouble with anxiety and depression. I don’t have a “monologue” as much as just “thoughts”. So, if i’m deciding between what shirt to wear, I’ll mentally envision both future scenarios, and see which like. But I don’t need to hear a single word, just a scene like a movie. Sometimes that movie is so fast it’s in a second- almost automatic. Not having a “monologue” does make therapy harder, because it’s tougher to point to where my thoughts contribute to my problems. I don’t always mentally “say” negative things, but I still think them. Sometimes I wish I had an inner monologue though. Writing is time consuming for me, and I think if I had a pronounced “inner monologue” maybe it wouldn’t be (since I don’t “hear” my own words constantly).

    • Elizabeth R says...

      As a person with no inner monologue, still anxious af.

  16. Marcie says...

    Oh Google – they slay me every time with their ‘remember this day’ and ‘they grow up so fast’ photo notices. The commercials are the same!

  17. Ellie says...

    To Jamie on new parenthood anxiety: my husband and I call the wake-up-in-a-cold-sweat-certain-the-baby-is-in-the-bed “phantom baby”. It happened to us almost every night the first six months of our son’s life. We thought it was over until he learned to walk and I’d wake up certain he crawled out of his crib, opened his door, unlatched his baby gate and fell down the stairs. I’d have to remind myself all of that was impossible before falling back asleep.

    • Colleen S says...

      My younger sister climbed out of her crib when she was about 18 months, came out of her room, and knocked on my door. We lived in a one-story house, but I was surprised to find her at my door when I opened it. But unlatching the baby gate would be a bit of a feat.

  18. Becka says...

    damn you Google, crying at work now

  19. J.M. says...

    At home with a sniffly little one and put this together during the naps! I definitely missed some (they didn’t come up in searches, for whatever reason, or I just missed them in the comments) but I think I got most. I did make an editor’s decision to leave off the 45-minute LCD Soundsystem track, and I didn’t include entire albums.

    CoJ readers love Beyonce and they REALLY love “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen. There is some serious genre whiplash on the playlist, but I don’t agree that any of the songs are embarrassing! Just good fun.

    https://open.spotify.com/playlist/28yQahlUyOxGsZZhfFrKaq

    Perhaps ironically though, I did this while listening to a podcast…

    • Lea says...

      Love this and this group of online friends!

    • Jo says...

      This is awesome!! Thank you!

    • Melinda says...

      OMG J.M., THANK YOU!!!

    • Meg says...

      This is fabulous. Thank you so much!

    • Alyssa says...

      This is SO generous! Thank you!