Design

Have a Fun Weekend.

Sarah Jampel

What are you up to this weekend? We spent the most magical week at my grandmother Milly’s house in England, and we’re packing up to head home. We’ll resume posting on Monday, but meanwhile, here are a few links from around the web. Hope you have a good one…

Daytime fireworks.

Roxane Gay on x’s and o’s.

Have you seen the trailer for Eighth Grade? It looks great.

Cruises are so uncool they are cool.” (NYT)

An upgraded potato chip dip.

Where your personalities go while you’re having sex, haha.

Laughed at these book titles.

An easy dress for work.

This sunny Los Angeles studio apartment has a dome in the middle of it.

Would you pack a rotisserie chicken for the beach?

And, most important: “My whole heart is there.” (NYT)

If you’re in a place to donate, RAICES, KIND and the ACLU are all great organizations that are working hard to reunite families that have been separated at the border.

Lots of love. xo

(Photo by Sarah Jampel.)

  1. Cassie says...

    Hey, just wanted to quickly say: thank you so much for starting to label your NYT articles. I know that I could buy it (and eventually will), clear the cache in Safari, etc. but I really do appreciate the heads up so that I can choose my allotted articles carefully. Appreciate you guys! xo

  2. Jenna says...

    My own community has been a welcoming resettlement city for refugees for quite some time- a fact that the entire city is quite proud and protectful of. Last week, in an act of random, horrific violence, a man stabbed 9 individuals at a birthday party- 6 of which were children, and all of which were refugees that had come to Boise seeking safety. Our community has been reeling from this horrific attack, and one of the things we are trying to remember as a community is how each family is going to need long term medical and mental health support. The same is going to be the case (on a larger scale) for each of these families that have been seperated. I am constantly amazed at the compassion this blog cultivates- please sustain this compassion so that our newest and most vulnerable Americans feel love and support not just now, in the crisis, but also in the future.

    • Sasha F says...

      Jenna, thanks so much for sharing. That sounds absolutely horrific. Wishing your community peace and light – for taking on the empathetic welcome to begin with, but especially during this awful time. :( <3

  3. Sylvia says...

    I have a hard time accepting that you linked that articel about cruises. They are one of biggest cruelties to the world climate and noise pollution for ocean life.

    But the personalities drwaing is extra funny as the ‘my whole heart is there’ is extra sad.

    • Sasha L says...

      Agreed on cruises. Just saw on the amazing show “somebody feed Phil” that cruises are ruining Venice ?

      There’s gotta be a better way to relax on vacation that isn’t harmful to the environment, ocean life, locals and other vacationers.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      i hear you. these are great points, thank you. i personally would HATE taking a cruise, and i thought it was interesting to hear the author’s viewpoint. but i hadn’t thought about the environmental factors, which of course are enormous. thank you xoxo

  4. sadie says...

    What is that spread on that tomato toast?? It looks scrummy and i need to make and eat it.

  5. Julia says...

    I wanted to echo what other commenters have said and thank you for continuing to post about the family separation crisis. You do a beautiful job of sharing both the light and the dark parts of being a woman in the world today, and I don’t think we talk enough about the importance of that balance. We need to be able to talk about fashion and trauma in the same space to feel like we can both confront and survive the darkness. Thank you for this space. It keeps me, and I think a lot of other women, feel connected and sane in this uncertain time.

  6. Heidi says...

    I learned a different way than Roxane Gay… The x is the hug, it’s a pair of crossed arms, and the o is the kiss because your lips form an o when you kiss!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that’s so cute, heidi!

    • Denise says...

      This is how I know x and o too.

  7. julie says...

    I’ve been reading your blog since before you got married… sometimes i don’t read it for months and one day i have to see what is going on, so glad you are still around!! i moved to England a year ago and this year for my birthday I plan to go to Cornwall for the first time. I have read all your England posts, looks beautiful, can’t wait! Any must sees?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much for your sweet note, julie! how exciting that you’re heading to cornwall. it’s funny, i’ve been there dozens of times, but we always stay in/around my grandmother’s tiny fishing village and don’t drive anywhere else. so i’m not the best person to give advice about exploring. however! st ives is supposed to be GORGEOUS, and there are lots of beautiful hotels and cliff walks and beaches all around. xoxoxo

  8. jeannie says...

    “My Whole Heart is There” totally slayed me. How are these mothers and children surviving the agony of being torn apart? This is inhumane. We have to stongly object

  9. RLT says...

    “My whole heart is here.” Truly heart-wrenching.

    I am a conservative. I say that because I want my progressive friends and neighbors to know that one can be a conservative and NOT support the current administration and this horrifying, evil family separation policy.

    I spent yesterday outside enjoying the beautiful weather with my three children. I cannot fathom being separated from them. My heart aches for this mother and her children and for the other families. Praying for God’s mercy and swift grace in bringing these families back together.

    Thank you for sharing this!

    • ES says...

      I am a conservative in a red state and I feel the same way. I couldn’t bear to post a happy Fourth message on FB of my sweet daughter because I am so ashamed and disappointed in my country and its leadership for this and other failings.

    • Angela says...

      I would echo this as well: I’m a conservative who is saddened, disgusted, and embarrassed by the current administration. I didnt support it from the beginning and certainly I do not now. I thank you, RLT, for making this distinction.

  10. Cynthia says...

    This is a national disgrace and one of our biggest issues to resolve. I am embarrassed and appalled to be represented by my own government. I have contacted my representatives, but I live in Kansas… (enough said). They say they are against separating families; but as usual, Congress is muddling along before actually doing something.
    How else can we find ways to help?

  11. Kim says...

    Thank you for posting the links for places to donate. I have been meaning to do this. Just gave to RAICES. Have a good weekend.

  12. Chiara says...

    What is that under the tomato on that toast? I’m intrigued and the original photo doesn’t have a description either!

    • Lucia Lee says...

      My guess would be hummus!

  13. Pml says...

    Oh my…Eighth Grade! Taking my soon-to-be eighth grade daughter (who is quiet at school and a bit of a loner) to see this. It is so hard, as a parent, to watch your child go through this phase of life, especially when they feel lonely and insignificant and left out.

    • mollcoll says...

      My heart aches for your daughter. I have 2 younger girls – but put them in the main characters’ shoes. Heartbreaking. I hope your daughter has a great 8th Grade year!

  14. Becky says...

    I’m laughing at the term swamp booty. I needed that laugh!

    • Lucia Lee says...

      Same for me with Where Your Personalities Go While You’re Having Sex!

  15. Katie Herklotz says...

    Thank you for posting the last article! Sharing widely.

  16. Lynnette says...

    FYI for readers who may want to know: RAICES helps facilitate transportation to and from abortion appointments. since this whole debacle is about keeping families together, it’s ironic to me that the group would help end the life of a child. maybe look into donating to another organization if you’re pro-life?

    https://www.raicestexas.org/resources/

    • Dana says...

      Hmm well considering you are not in the shoes of a woman seeking an abortion, maybe don’t judge organizations that are there to help?

      I’m an attorney in Texas. The majority of these women are recent immigrants who have arranged marriages with an American man in order to get residency status and provide for their families back home. These men often turn out to be horribly abusive and essentially rape the women and hold them hostage. Because the wives are not technically legal residents, they are told that if they leave the marriage, they also must leave the country. These women are trapped in a horrible situation and without a knowledge of our legal system or grasp of the English language, it’s so hard to get out. Thank God for organizations like RAICES.

    • Emmy says...

      @ Dana I’m pro-choice, but that includes allowing other people to be pro-life if they choose. Maybe you shouldn’t be hypocritical and judge someone else for their fundamental values. The lady was simply stating a fact that that organization is not pro-life which is what she believes in. We must find a way to peacefully co-exist without shaming someone for their beliefs (and right now, there’s no envidence that pro-life or pro-choice is the *correct* way to be).

    • Ingrid says...

      Emmy, the difference is, pro-choice people support both choices. They want a woman to have the baby if that’s her choice, and help her in any way that they can. They recognize that abortion is a hard choice, but it’s her own decision to make. Most if not all pro-life supporters think their choice should be the only choice for everyone, no matter the circumstance. If someone is pro-life, no one can or should make them have an abortion. But if someone is pro-choice, no other person should prevent them from having an abortion. (We are all a little judgmental on this topic, I think.)

    • RLT says...

      @Ingrid, thank you for your respectful response. While I can’t speak for Emmy, I can speak for myself as a pro-lifer and maybe for other pro-lifers out there. . .

      There is an element to what you’re saying that is definitely true. Most pro-lifers do think their “choice” is the choice for everyone, while someone who is pro-choice wouldn’t come to that conclusion.

      That said, I think it’s important to keep in mind that if one believes that life begins at conception then it would reasonably follow that protecting that life would be a priority, even if that life is seemingly a result of horrific circumstances such as a rape or abuse (I think there are some other existential issues that play into this. . . i.e. whether one believes in “accidents” or “fate” or “Divine appointment,” etc.). I think we’d argue “it’s not the baby’s fault.” But on the other hand, it’s not really the mother’s “fault,” is it? Which brings me to acknowledge that, of course, the mother has a life and NO DOUBT her life needs protecting! And that’s where I’m sure RAICES (and other organizations) believe they’re doing right; by giving the mother “a choice.”

      I know the frustration for me is that it seems that women often choose abortion because they believe they have to; because they believe they “don’t have a choice.” This, I think, is indicative of how broken and messed-up our culture and system is. We do not support women enough with policies and programs that protect them, and also that give them a true choice. When I say “true choice” I mean a choice where “all things are equal.” Economic and social barriers do not exist, etc. Admittedly, this is a huge obstacle, but I think it’s one on which we can all agree needs to be seriously addressed. And it’s one that is truly “pro-life.”

      If it helps, I have been hard-core pro-life since I was conscious of the debate, but when I was pregnant with my beautiful daughter (who is now 4 1/2) I had some serious complications. My doctors made it clear that the pregnancy might risk my life. My husband and I agreed that if it came to it, we might make a choice we never thought we would make, especially because we already had our older son to parent. I have to add that the thought of it makes me shudder because I do believe my daughter now was my daughter then. I share this, though, because I think it’s really important not to judge each other so harshly, on either side of this debate. You never know where someone is coming from. You never know what she is dealing with. You never know where she’s been or where she’s going.

      In the meantime, here’s hoping we can all give each other more grace!

    • Sasha L says...

      @Dana, wow. Thank you for the work you do and for informing more about this org. My support for them is stronger than ever.

    • Anne says...

      Dana, Ingrid and RLT – thank you for your respective comments.

      My mother accidentally got pregnant at 17 (they were trying to be safe, just FYI). Her and my sister have always had a strained relationship; my sister is good, but I don’t think my mother has ever gotten over “having” to have a baby (this was before Roe vs. Wade) and be responsible at such a young age. She will tell you that though she loves my sister, she wishes she could have had her later, and didn’t think it was fair to either of them. Needless to say, she is very strongly pro-choice, and has ingrained that in me as well.

    • Anne says...

      …..I just wanted to share that story, because you hear that no one regrets having their child, but I know for sure that’s not always the case; you just can’t *say* that.

  17. “My whole heart is there.” This was heart-wrenching — thank you so much for posting it. I find such solace in seeing all the “helpers” that are out there.

    • Jess says...

      It’s so hard to read these stories, but I know it’s important. The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming. What these parents and small children are feeling is unfathomable to me. I live in Canada, but I’ve donated to the ACLU and RAICES. I don’t know what else to do. :(

  18. MJL says...

    Thank you for continuing to post, even by sharing a link to a story, about family separation and the continued struggle for reunification. It makes readers like me feel less alone, and it’s heartwarming to know that we are all continuing to think about these parents and children, and that none of this is just yesterday’s news.