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What would you add?
P.S. Risks worth taking, and lovely, nameless feelings.
(Illustration by the lovely Mari Andrew.)
A Reverse Bucket List
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I accidentally swam with sharks once and I got out of the water ASAP. It felt like slo-mo.
Haha! Love this idea! Mine: “Go to club” and ‘try any kind of drug”
do my own taxes
go paleo
try recreational drugs
be on bed rest (been there done that)
Haha – solo karaoke and long road trips are two of my favourite things!
Right, Who doesn’t want to take long trips. Eh?
I have zero interest in doing Whole 30. I hope to never have to give up cheese!
Have a long commute! I had an hour subway ride to junior high and high school and once those 6 years were done, I have lived as close as possible to school/work.
Jump off a really high dive (I was convinced once by my thrill-seeking boyfriend. I am not graceful and oh the pain).
1 – Live somewhere where it is bone-chilling cold (Alaska, Antarctica, etc.)
2 – Go on a vacation that I didn’t help plan
3 – Eat insects
4 – Dislike cats
Perfect reverse bucket list aside from the swimming with sharks. They are so graceful, powerful and intelligent. Not man-eating machines like they are often portrayed.
Instead of never swim with sharks, i will add never swim with crocodiles.
I’ve run a marathon… twice. The first time I said I would never do it again. The second time, I ran most of it with my sister, who REALLY wanted to run a marathon with me (again, why?) but when she mentally gave up I kept going and kicked her butt. Now I’m REALLY not going to run a marathon again. REALLY.
“Suggest a conference call” by far the best item on the list.
Funny… I’ve done almost everything on this list. Some of them twice! (Like Skydiving…) Haha!
So, I’ve done all of these except skydive, and while I used to be proud of some, I’m suddenly feeling like a total weirdo! ; )
“Cut down on coffee” ☕
+
“Have only one square of chocolate a day” ?
This speaks to me!
The idea of this list is so funny. I second rock climbing and mountain climbing.
I do solo karaoke so, so often in my apartment :-D (and sometimes i even get compliments and prestigious prizes for it ^^ ).
This list and the comments are making me laugh. But I like karaoke, sadly I have done it only three times in my life!
Camp at a music festival
I resonate with this list so deeply.
I just feel a huge sense of relief reading this list!
I am no less of a person just because I would rather NOT go sky diving or bungee jumping or ride an insane roller coaster.
I am awesome because I can be ME and do other adventurous things.
I have often felt (especially in my teen years) like I needed to go BIG to be accepted and this is so not true. I find pleasure in smaller simpler things and shouldn’t that make me proud?!
Hugs Mari, you just made my day.
– A list of things I would never do. Never say never!
I would add…
Get a tattoo
Just don’t think I could committ to any design for life on my body,
I live in the PNW and get sick of being told to go skiiing. I hate being cold or anything athletic (besides maybe running–on a GOOD day haha). No flying down a mountainside for this gal!
Yes, all these – never ever ?
Skydive with chickens
Climb Mt. Everest. Or any mountain that has snow, ice and crevasses where you can disappear forever.
Noooo! Swimming with sharks was amazing. Done it twice, once in a cage in South Africa with great whites and once with chilled out nurse sharks in Belize, cage free. It’s such a privilege to share the world with these creatures and see them in their habitat. It really felt good to face my fear of them too. Liberating to see the fin and feel the fear and get in the water and see this huge shape surge past me.
Apparently you are far more likely to be bitten by a person than a shark. Even if you don’t have a nipping one year old like mine to deal with!
I’ll second the don’t swim with sharks.
Ahah Mari is my kind of gal!
This list makes me so happy. I’ll add:
* Learn to play guitar (the finger pain is real, my friends)
* Play in a softball game
? play in a softball game. So real
Take my kids to Disney World.
Seriously. It sounds like hell.
YESSSS. As a child, my mom wanted to take me to Disney and even then I asserted that did NOT sound like fun.
My kids and I play this game too….we take turns saying something that is definitely not on our bucket list.
My husband wrote a funny book about exactly this – Can’t Be Arsed: 101 Things Not To Do Before You Die.
Here’s one: Shower in a Waterfall because ‘…not only that , but you’ll have left the soap in your rucksack and you’ll have to step out of the shower to get it and then in the process you’ll probably slip on some moss or slime and crack your elbow, maybe end up with a couple of grazed shins and skinned ankles. And after all that, you’ll find that one of your ‘mad’ travelling companions has stolen your clothes for a joke then videoed you on their phone and by the time you’ve attempted to dry yourself on some leaves (causing a rather alarming burning sensation) your wobbling bulk is being viewed worldwide on YouTube.’
?? that’s the best! So true. Slippery rocks are lethal in streams and rivers, and the water will be so cold too. And *something* will swim past your leg and give you nightmares forever too.
go nude at the clothing-optional beach
I’ve swam with sharks! It was incredible!
I love this! I hate hate hate that we’re made to feel like these things are requirements for a life well lived. I remember being part of a group a few years ago where literally everyone had gone sky diving except for me. I felt like the biggest loser ever, and was convinced they were all better than me because they had to the guts to do it. But really, they were just different. I’m happy with my feet firmly planted on the ground, and have never been someone who goes out thrill-seeking, and that’s OK. I’m not “missing out” or “wasting my life” just because I haven’t spent an afternoon falling out of a plane. Same goes for studying abroad, working in a big city, or learning how to play guitar. These aren’t thing we “have” to do if we don’t want to. Everyone can and should create their own bucket list, and make it as “boring” or as exciting as they want it to be :)
A little extract from ‘Can’t Be Arsed:101 Things Not To Do Before You Die’ for you, Ro:
‘Jumping out of a plane for fun must seem strange to those people who were forced to do it in a real combat situation and would never do it again for all the money in the world. Why stop at modern warfare in your search for thrills? Why not try charging across a muddy field while hundreds of stout yeomen fire longbows at you?’
I’ll add: “go skinny dipping” because it’s related to “don’t go off sugar.” :)
How about “wish I was a middle schooler again.”
Lol. Said no one EVER.
I love this post and I love these comments!
Cup of Jo is killing it this week!
Haha much to my mother’s chagrin, doing a cage dive with great whites is probably number 1 on my bucket list!
I’d add “Get my pilot’s license” and “Ski down a Black Diamond Hill” because flying freaks me out and so does electing to fall down a mountain.
Having walked in on my husband making a conference call today, I heartily agree – the equivalent of repeatedly banging your head against the wall in time to muzak. I’d add: ski, pothole and wear stockings. All terrible.
Well, I loved the marathon I ran (when I was 22…my 38-year-old runner’s knees would never allow it now) and I went off sugar over a year ago and haven’t been sick since, so that is totally worth it in my book. But yes to most of these other things. I’d also add: 1) go on a cruise, 2) meet a celebrity, and 3) wear paper-bag-waist pants.
A cruise sounds legitimately like hell. Agreed.
Cruises are hell! I did one carnival cruise and vowed never do it again. It was like herding a bunch of cattle on and off a boat with a constant pass thru a buffet line. Never again!!!’
It’s good to hear another voice who is not into the idea of a cruise! It’s one of the last things I’d voluntarily trap myself in, but I always feel like such a downer saying that because they’re supposed to be “fun”. This is reminding me of the David Foster Wallace book “A Supposedly Fun Thing I’ll Never Do Again”.
Nooooooo! There’s a lady at work who keeps trying to get everyone to go on cruises. They absolutely do sound like hell and they’re literally worse for the environment than flying. No to cruises! Unless you like that sort of thing in which case knock yourself out but the environment thing is real ;-).
Huge no to cruises. I used to live in a port city where they depart and arrive in and the people coming off always looked so relived and miserable! Also those things are like floating Petri dishes. People always got some kind of bug, ick!
Hard no to cruises. They sound miserable!
My aunt goes on cruises all the time and I have to say, I’m pretty intrigued by them- and even MORE so after reading this Wired article, did anyone else see it?!
http://www.wired.co.uk/article/ms-symphony-of-the-seas-royal-caribbean-largest-cruise-ship
Great list Mari!
Rock climb
White water rafting
Wear white go-go boots
Eat eel
White water rafting is super fun! You can go later in the season (August) when the water is lower and less fast. I’m a big ole chicken and it was fun for me.
Maywyn, I was rappelling (coming down the rock face after you climb it) once and one of my long braids got fed through the carabiner with the rope. I was totally stuck, and with no other way to get out had to saw off my braid with a pocket knife. It’s high of my list of traumatic moments in my life. Rock climbing is now on my Reverse Bucket List as well!
100% me.
Karaoke is my worst nightmare! True story: I once broke up with a guy after he shared with me that he had always dreamed about singing karaoke with his future wife. Nope, she’s not me.
Good call Katie.
Love this. I’ll never “go off sugar” either – it brings so much pleasure!
Oh I LOVE LOVE LOVE this list, even though it’s not the same as I would make mine – but I gag a little at peoples’ bucket lists, so this idea just kills me!
On my list would be. . .
1. potty train another kid
2. eat insects
3. work in a windowless office
I work in a windowless office and it is the WORST!
Haha! I would do #2 over #1 ever again in a heartbeat!
This is a great list!
Yes to all. I mean NO to all.
“Puke red wine”
1) Take it from me, it is TERRIFYING to puke red.
2) What a waste of wine, enjoy don’t guzzle.
Ugh. Plus, it burns…
Whole 30. Period.
Ha ha! Yes!!! Don’t do it
hahaha yes, attempted it and never again. turns out my body did NOT want to live on only veggies, nuts, and coconut oil and red meat!
Love this! Yes (NOOOO!) to all of these!!
These are cracking me up!
1) ride in a helicopter
2) go spelunking
Both are fun!
Lol I would love to NOT do those things with you!
Carrie, let’s (not) do it!
1) Do Whole30
2) Allow a vacation day to go unused at the end of the year
3) Unironically use #blessed in a caption.
lol!
#yes
:)
Awesome Meg!!
I think we could be friends, Meg. Completely agree.
I love #3!
Haha this is the perfect list for my birthday (when things like bucket lists are on the mind!) Except I can cross one thing off this list (“go off sugar” – how silly of me) and one is on my actual bucket list (long road trip! I love road trips!)
Oh geez, “suggest a conference call” just cracked me up! For some people, this is not a reverse bucket list item, but a daily to-do. Whyyyyyyy you guys? :)
I feel your pain. I am with you!
So true!
Climb a mountain. No thanks.
I don’t usually identify with Mari’s drawings because I’ve never done the whole dating scene and have lived in the same state my whole life, but THIS I can identify with. As a decidedly unadventurous person, I’m perfectly happy leaving some things undone.
Hilarious! Agreed. Also: go underwater caving, make all my own soap, homeschool…..
“Make all my own soap”
Love this!!!
Underwater caving!!! So scary to think about! I didn’t know that was a thing!
I had to laugh!! No thank you to underwater caving (so scary!), maybe to homemade soap?? I make homemade laundry soap and that’s ok. But homeschooling? Lol, I actually did that with my two daughters and loved it. To each their own, right? For us it was pretty much *do fun stuff all day and call it school*. Honestly the only downside for us was loss of income.
So accurate! “Go off sugar” made me actually lol.
Also, I ran a half marathon. It was fun. But…I’m good.
Suggest a conference call hahahahaha – same.
Oddly, I’ve done many of the things on this list (but not sharks, never sharks). Many of them I hope to never do again!
This is SO good. ;-)
omg…this is hysterical!
In the Philippines, the Tagalog word “bakit” (similar phonetically to bucket) means why—-so I have a similar list—my “Bakit List”. WHY did I do that??
oh LOVE this!!
Sandy that is hilarious! Thanks for teaching me my first word in Tagalog.
I’d add: Watch scary movies or read scary books. ;-)
Yes!! Right there with you.
Mari, I would love to know how you’re doing with your book tour, having to be up in front of so many people!
Good laugh! I did regret the marathon I ran! #neveragain
Lol this reminds me of that one time years ago my (not athletic) family decided to hike the Grand Canyon down in one day and back out the next day. It was TERRIBLE and I would never try it again in that time span. I basically ran out of the Grand Canyon and left my mom, dad, and brothers behind because I was so over it!!! Yes! It was crazy and dangerous. That is a serious hike.
marathon – I did that once and then abruptly stopped running, and plan to not run for the rest of my life. LOL.
I hiked down to Phantom Ranch in the Grand Canyon, and back out the same day. Truly a memorable experience, but one I wouldn’t recommend to any intelligent person.
“Go off sugar” <— agree!!! It reminds me of a great piece by Nora Ephron, where she talked about making actually useful New Years' resolutions. She decided on "eat more cheese" because she decided it was a resolution that would actually make her happy.
yesssss!
One of my New year’s resolutions this year was “eat more parmesan”. Best resolution I’ve ever made!
I had to find this Nora Ephron piece after seeing your reference. Brilliant.
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/nora-ephron/resolve-to-eat-more-chees_b_37077.html
Love this idea so much. Particularly, choosing to do ‘more’ of something as a resolution instead of less of something.
I agree with almost all of these, BUT as a SCUBA diver, I want nothing more than to one day dive with sharks!!
Also, I absolutely love long road trips with my fiancee – we’ve driven from Colorado to St Louis, Los Angeles, and even Mexico! We have some of our absolutely best conversations on those trips, and even though something can always be counted on to go semi-disastrously wrong, they still count for amazing memories that we recall over and over again as being some of the best trips we’ve ever taken :)
Yes, when you scuba dive you realize there are many types of sharks, nearly everywhere, most of whom don’t care about you and who don’t want to eat you. Sorry President Trump, sharks are not the enemy!
Wear flared crop pants
I could not agree more with the flared cropped pants!! What is with this crazy trend!?
Ha ha ha!!!
LOL. yes.
hahaha yes I am in hardcore agreeance with you
Sorry but not sorry – these are my new favorite pants. Give them a try, and you may fall in love :)
Totes!
YES! Why would I want to make my legs look stumpy and short AND have to shave them? No thanks. What is every pant and jumpsuit the season cropped and flared?!?
best comment ever. And people say “they make your legs look longer.” No, no they do not. That is a delusion.
Your loss! They can look nice as long as they are fitted. If they are slim and stretchy and have a little kick at hem, fine. If they look like a pair of baggy chinos that shrank a foot, never!
A Few Items from My Long List of Things I’ll Never:
1. Get a tattoo
2. Rompers, jumpsuits, bodysuits
3. Go to Disneyworld
4. Take a Duckboat tour
5. NASCAR
6. Cold-shoulder tops
7. Hunt
8. Rock climb
9. Eat anything that’s still moving
10. Do anything on a balance beam
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