A Moment of Silence

I love your blog and almost agree always agree with what you write and the thoughtful way that you do what you do. A year and half ago, I moved from NYC to NC. Through circumstance and good fortune, I’ve gotten to really spend some time in rural North Carolina. The people I’ve met are genuinely wonderful and it’s been as much of an adventure as any I’ve ever taken abroad. I’ve unwillingly listened to FoxNews a lot and also pro-gun right public radio. I’m slowly beginning to gain a new understanding on this issue. As a mom, I couldn’t understand how any mom could support gun ownership. However, all parents universally want one thing: to keep their children safe. Some do it through advocacy against the NRA and some through keeping guns at home. The truth is that no one really knows how to do the impossible task of guaranteeing that our children are never hurt. I agree with everyone’s comments that sensible gun regulation, mental health awareness and a whole slew of other complicated factors play into this issue but I also think that it’s time we gave some thought as to why gun ownership feels like such an important right to so many Americans.

Hello,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. They resonate with so many people especially parents of young children like myself. I have a 4-year-old. I recently started a blog as a way to discover myself and find my purpose. I wasn’t sure if it was ok to share too much and to talk about things that are important to me. Would I be judged negatively? Would people stop reading? After reading your post, I realize that being true to myself comes at a cost but it’s worth it because it’s the right thing to do. Thank you for your brave opinion.

Fantastic, great post, Joanna.
I live in France but lived in the US for many years. I work in an industry of trying to create change, but I hate to be pessimistic on this: the US has become a divided, angry nation that can’t seem to save itself. From high depression rates, opioid addiction, to racism, police brutality, a divide between the rich and the poor that is completely absurd and skewed, obesity, poverty, mental illness, gun ownership to addiction to technology, plastic and cars, the US has gone in the wrong direction for so many years, many people who are Americans or used to live in the US feel they will never move back. I think if Sandy Hook did not change things, and there is shooting after shooting in schools, while EVERYONE KNOWS HOW TO FIX THIS PROBLEM, it is not getting fixed, and it may never get fixed. The NRA controls half the US Government, the president of the US is a complete moron, and children continue to die in their schools. It is angering and saddening and deeply deeply disturbing. I love the US but hate seeing what it has become to the world and to its people. RIP little ones. The rest of the world hopes you did not die in vain. I am sorry to sound angry but no child should die in their school, whether you live in a rich or poor country. I hope Americans continue to show their anger and fight for change. Do not vote for people who get money from the NRA, first of all. Look at what other countries did to eliminate school shootings. Other countries have similar rates of mental illness, but no mass shootings. This is simpler to figure out than you think. In Europe when we kiss our kids goodbye in front of school, we worry about bullying, if they will eat their greens, if they bring home lice or the stomach bug, or if the education is preparing them for a complicated future in the work world. We do NOT worry about a student bringing an assault rifle and killing innocent children. Much love from France xxo

You really think some one with a pro-gun right wing opinion, don’t care about the death of children? Please don’t.

I cried for these children and so did everyone I know.

I love this blog, I am one of the right wing Republicans that read this blog. I wonder how many of us there actually are.

I am pro gun laws. But do think the needs to be reformed to an extent, no one needs a semi automatic.

My father comes from the Middle East where gun laws are extremely restricted, to a point where you can not feel safe in your own county, because you don’t know know who is in charge, one day the government is nice, one day the government is out to kill you, and you have no way of protecting yourself. It is about not being controlled, and being able to resist if the government is being immoral.

CupofJo is never negative about the Republicans and here views, rather they suggust ways to support their veiws. The comments are shocking sometimes. Because I view this community as thinking and loving women. Who have an open.mind enough that we don’t all have to be the same to.love each other.

It’s so completely devastating, my heart goes out to Americans (Canadian here). The worst part to me is the frequency. I had to run numbers, because it’s just astounding to me what you’re living with, and this helps me wrap my brain around it.

So: there have been 8 school/campus shootings resulting in death or injury so far this year (18 discharged weapons incidents by the Everytown count). In 33 school days for 2018 so far (ie weekdays, no major holidays). That’s every fourth day, or 24% of school days.

Will this be back in the news next Wednesday? Will that rate continue for the rest of the school year? I really, really hope something changes.

Thanks for the suggestions for things to do to help, CoJ team. ❤️

3 things.
1. #menext? campaign, kids speaking out and standing up, share the hell of this.
2. Nationwide strike until legislation for gun control is passed. EVERYONE with a conscience walks out. Guys, there are tens of millions of us, don’t tell me this won’t work.
3. Boycott of all complained making/selling these weapons. AND boycott of all corporations who stay silent. Speak out NOW for gun control or we boycott.
Our politicians will only act if we force them into a corner and shareholders are screaming louder than the NRA in calling in their bribes. $$ is all any of them care about.

Joanna-the way you handle tradegies on your blog is done with such grace and wisdom. Several times I have opened up your page after sad headline news stories and you have addressed it head on. I don’t generally considering reading a blog necessarily media but your words are such a breath of fresh air in the smog of stories. I appreciate the thought and approach you take here. Thank you for providing links to how we can help in what feels like a helpless and never ending situation.

I simply can’t understand why would any family need more than 1 gun and that too automatic rifles? Why should it be so easy to buy these automatic rifles. This Country was founded on the principles of Equality for all but it took over 100 plus years to abolish slavery, allow women and African Americans to right. I know our Constitution allows everyone to carry firearms. Just like the concept of equality changed over time, isn’t this time to look at gun ownership as well? Why should it we all risk children’s lives to protect someone else’s second amendment. If mental health is causing all these shootings and not GUNS, why isn’t there any law to examine one’s mental health status before letting them buy a gun? Even driver’s license we have to renew every 3 years? How about mandatory mental health checkups every year for gun owners to determine it is safe for them to own a gun? How about some additional checks for someone who buys large rounds of ammunition and multiple guns?

I feel like one’s has to jump through the hoops to even buy multiple bottles of Cough syrup yet anyone can walk in and out and buy multiple guns with no problem.

I’m an Australian who spent about 5 years living in the US with my husband and small daughter.

We decided to go back to Australia rather than send our daughter to school in the US. We just weren’t willing to risk having her not come home one day while people continued to debate ‘where the problem is’.

The problem is with guns. It’s not hard to understand. Get rid of all of them in your homes. In Australia we defend our homes in a million other ways (guard dogs, alarm systems and proper locks, know your neighbours, self defense training, knives and bats or other weapons that aren’t guns).
Having your child die from a shooting at school here just doesn’t happen and we feel safe in knowing our government can get it’s sh*t together we’ll enough to enact immediate change.

The other day I had to explain to my daughter (now 7) why that boy in Floria took a gun to school and killed people on purpose. She’s now terrified of schools in America; probably rightfully so.

There should be an organization like Emily’s List for politicians running on a pro-gun control platform. That makes it easier for people to fund and support candidates who are willing to take action.

Hey, gay marriage seemed like a pipe dream a couple of years ago. Trans women being elected seemed like a crazy idea (and in Virginia and Minneapolis of all places), not to mention a black president???

Common sense gun control can happen people. It needs to happen.

Thank you for posting this. I totally agree that guns that fire dozens of rounds per minute should be illegal. It should be harder to buy guns, and there should be requirements for how they are stored. It shouldn’t be legal to purchase a gun without a background check, or gift a gun to someone (even in one’s own family) without that person undergoing a background check. Then of course, people with a history of domestic or animal abuse should not be allowed to have guns.

There are a lot of things we can do to prevent these sorts of tragedies from happening again, but we don’t need to take away all guns. I see several comments here asking why anyone needs to own a gun. My family owns lots so I can tell you the reasons. First, hunting. We kill and eat a lot of our own meat and it’s much more humane and healthy than anything you can buy in stores. Second, protection. When you live in a rural area, it could take police 30 minutes to respond. The reason there are not more burglaries is that everyone has guns and potential thieves are deterred. We are not going to get anywhere if we say “take away all the guns!” and that’s not necessary to prevent things like this from happening anyway.

One thing I feel like we don’t hear enough about is building consciousness of how our investments/401Ks/pensions are funding gun manufacturers (and consequently, the gun lobby). Many of us are financially supporting their cause without realizing it. You can check https://goodbyegunstocks.com/ to quickly see if your investment funds are going to gun makers (and to get recommendations for alternate funds that don’t support them).

Thank you for taking a moment to acknowledge the gun violence issue in our country. I posted on my instagram a while back that I heard the gunfire break out at the Congressional shooting just down my street in June of last year while home with my children who were just under 2 and 4 at the time. I was taken aback by how many times my older child asked about ‘the weapon’ and if they ‘got the guy’ based on the few spontaneous phone calls I had as we were trying to figure out what was going on outside. A few months later, across the country, one of my husband’s best friends was on the same floor of the Mandalay Bay hotel on the day of the Las Vegas shooting and had his door broken in by police to get him to safety. We didn’t even know of his experience until I saw him speaking to a reporter on the news. I am at a loss for words on the devastation families have faced due to gun violence that hit much closer than our own experiences. Thank you to the readers who posted information on where we can focus our energy on gun violence. I look forward to learning more about these resources.

Jo, please keep writing articles like this. Please. You and your team have a voice and reach so many readers every single day. Please continue educating us on what we can do in our communities, our states, our country. We need this epidemic of school shootings to stop. Interview a politician, an activist, a survivor, a grieving family member – I would love to hear from all of these people what we can do.

I live in Southern Georgia where guns are everywhere, we even have a ridiculous law by that actual name. I hate guns, so it’s a lonely place to live. Here you are considered irresponsible for NOT having a gun. It’s madness. Someone made the point on another site that all of the gun control orgs should merge, so they’re not constantly competing for funds and attention. NRA is one powerful behemoth. Gun control needs it’s own powerful behemoth.

I’m an avid supporter of gun control. But this is extremely important too. Everyone should share this – we should all be more aware of who hurting people are in our communities, and look out for people that might be plotting to harm others (or themselves).
http://www.nationalreview.com/article/456436/new-gun-laws-wont-stop-mass-shootings-people-can

This is so tragic and I cannot imagine how this feels for the people involved.
I’m from Norway and seeing school massacres happening in USA so often is just unbelievable as the solution is so obvious to us: ban guns. People’s lives are more important.

Black man w/ gun= thug
Brown man w/ gun= terrorist
White man w/gun= oh, poor sick person.

Hmmm.

As a parent (tangential to the school thing) I have seriously considered asking parents who invite us over for playdates about whether they own guns, and if they answer in the affirmative investigate whether they have proper locks that the kids cannot unlock (and perhaps inform about the shockingly high number of children who know how to unlock their parents’ gun storage without the knowledge of the parent). If we are going to work the cultural angle as well as the legislative angle, we should treat it like drunk driving where we talk about irresponsible gun ownership as unacceptable behavior and teach our children to have the same expectations of responsible gun ownership with anyone they hang out with. Beyond the lack of sensible regulation, it seems like the old cultural norms around responsible gun ownership have eroded. Like most public health crises, the solution is probably going to take many different angles of work in many different arenas. Drunk driving deaths and smoking rates are great examples of how tackling something like this as a public health issue, one layer at a time, can have profound effects over time. Every inch towards change counts. Persistence matters.

I was a sixth grader in Littleton, CO when the Columbine shooting happened. What I remember most, more than a sense of fear, was a sense of impossibility. The fact that something like that had happened–that kids could actually be shot to death in school–was so out of the realm of normality that it was hard to comprehend. For years I hated telling people where I was from because of the look of horror they would get on their faces. Now almost 20 years later, I teach on a college campus. Every year we have active shooter training. Every classroom I teach in I think about where the nearest exits are, where would I hide myself and my students if a shooting occurred. I hate how normal this has become. It would be impossible to even remember all of the names of towns where students have been killed at this point because there are so many. Any suggestions short of gun control–arming teachers (wtf), airport-like security at schools (impossible at college campuses, I would add), etc–does nothing but further normalize it.

I have a baby daughter now and it terrifies me that she’ll go to school one day and probably also run active shooter drills like we used to have tornado drills when I was a child. My heart is broken into a million pieces for the families in Florida who are grieving today, and I’m just sick and so angry that we can’t get policy change on this issue. I mean, what is it going to take??? All I can say is organize, organize, organize.

Thank you for sharing this, Joanna. Normally I would keep these feelings to myself, but not today.
When I woke up this morning, my husband was hugging me with such fierce emotion, I honestly thought something was going on, freaked out and asked him what was wrong. He answered he was just happy I was home and was safe. And then it all came back to me. The shooting, right here in Florida. My only thought was, I have to teach students today, how do I face them?
I couldn’t even try to measure how hard this day would be, but let me tell you, it’s been the most difficult one of my teaching career. The faces of my students today were heartbreaking. In every single one of my classes I had to tell my kids how sorry I am that this is our reality –that tragedy can strike anywhere, I had to reassure them of our school safety policies and procedures, remind them of how much they are loved and beg them to take drills seriously as if they were a real situation, because I couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to them. I don’t have children of my own but I have a 136 kids. 136 souls that fill me with joy, craziness and growth every day. Those children are my babies too and I would never let anything happen to them. I’m devastated and I think this feeling will accompany me for a long time, which I plan to use as my motivation to fight for my students and their safety because they deserve more.

This may not be a popular sentiment to share, & definitely not targeted at the CoJ community, but as a New Zealander living in Australia, a lot of us in this part of the world are suffering ‘compassion fatigue’ when it comes to the USA & gun violence. We stand in disbelief that the USA can be kept in a stranglehold by the likes of the NRA, enabling a teenager access to a semi automatic weapon & to commit mass murder. Australia had its moment of horror with the Port Arthur massacre in 1996. With a resulting tightening up of gun ownership & licensing laws, there has not been a mass shooting since. It’s just so bloody obvious what needs to be done.

As a teacher I can barely listen to news about school shootings. I know for lots of us, Sandy Hook was our 9/11, but it just keeps going.

There is no dance, no assembly no event I go to in my school where I am not planning where we will go if shooting starts.

In our drills now, we’re asked to barricade our doors and find makeshift weapons to stop an intruder.

Mamas, know that we will try to keep your babies safe, but strong gun law legislation will keep them safer.