Do You Stalk Your Ex Online?

I have been known to facebook stalk exes or old acquaintances, but I think it’s less about longing for a different life or looking back with any kind of regret. It’s often just curiosity if their name has popped up in a conversation, (“hmm, so THAT’S what they’re up to now…*silently judges*”). Or it’s akin to reading ghost stories – it feels a bit unsettling to read, but that’s why you do it!

I must admit that there is temptation. But I believe it should be natural just to let go of the other person if you decided together that relationship wouldn’t work out. May be many of these ideas come from movies?? They kind of give us the idea of competition (you should have a perfect life and the other one should be a total looser or you feel bad because you see it the other way around). Lately I’ve been thinking about the general idea that romantic films give. I invite you to visit my website to read about this.

wow, i love this post, so funny!
we’ve all been there – bloody ex’s getting in our minds at random times!
my ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend took upon stalking me and liked an old picture of us kissing from 2008, i was like ‘what the hell is she doing!?’
then I realised she must have panicked more than i did!

i bet noone in this world, men included, can say they have never stalked their ex – even if its just to make sure you have a better life without them ;)

May
http://www.dropofbrandy.blogspot.co.uk

I do too! It’s the hardest habit to break.

Rachel x
thehappybits.blogspot.com

Oh man, this brings up a horrible early Facebook memory. I was totally trying to stalk my ex. When looking him up by name didn’t work, I tried looking him up by email address. “Thank you! We have sent a friend’s request to BLAHBLAHBLAH,” said Facebook.

Noooooooooooooo, said me.

I check a long-ago ex’s FB and blog once in awhile – not out of longing, as someone said up-thread, but because I hope he’s doing well and he was a big part of my life. I think if I were getting over someone, it would be dangerous. I would totally enter his name into my status or accidentally friend him or something.

One super-crazy thing I do is stalk another ex’s ex-girlfriend (omg, and I know this is nuts, I even looked at her teenaged kids’ profiles). She used to try to get him back periodically (we are talking 20 years now) and I worked myself up into a righteous rage about it back then. I always wondered what became of her and if she was really an awful person and what the hell was that, anyway. I’m long over him but still curious about her and I don’t know why.

I don’t because it ended badly. He got engaged six months after we broke up. He’s married now but still reads my blog regularly (I have IP tracking), which bothers me A LOT.

Haha I have been there! It’s even worse with smartphones when you do the accidental like/follow/add friend! I think guys are guilty of this too though, as my ex who I havent seen or spoken to in over a year recently followed me on Twitter… he soon unfollowed, but not before I got the email nofitication ;)

– Lubna | The Digital Review

I don’t stalk my exes but I find out what they’re doing via friends liking their posts/photos (even though I’m FB friends with them, never see their statuses). Found out my HS Boyfriend is engaged, probably getting married in the Spring. I’m kind of happy for him because I really don’t care, but on the other hand he was a controlling D-Bag so I was hoping he would be alone til 45. I just hope my exes are happy (but not overly), doing well (but not super successful), and meet someone (eventually, like at 32). Because I care.

I have. He got fat!
Which is lovely and ironic because he was so vain and, it turned out, a horrible human being.
Karma is a bitch. I don’t feel bad AT ALL for being happy he got fat.

To save myself a world of hurt, I made the incredibly smart decision of hiding my ex and anyone he could possibly be photographed with on facebook. This was probably one of the best things I have ever done and even though it’s been years, I keep them all hidden for mental heath reasons. To his credit, he’s not a huge FB poster. Saves me any surprises if I cave to clicking him in the search bar. I HIGHLY recommend using the “hide” button and even the “block” button if necessary.

Oh my god, this post is everything!! I unfollowed my ex on Facebook but couldn’t seem to resist snapchatting him multiple times a day so I had to delete my account all together. I know his Reddit username as well, and I feel as though every time I choose not to check when it crosses my mind, is a conscious step towards my own health and healing

Maybe once, or if I hear they were in the news for a crime. Other than that I have moved on. I just like to know that my instincts are spot on when I’ve dodged a psychopath.

The other day I was looking at my exes (public) Instagram and accidentally hit “Follow”. Ahhhh!!! I started screaming and called my sister about how to undo this disaster. (Click the button again, you guys!)

Then we spent 15 minutes trying to recreate the situation on MY account to see if you would get a notification if someone followed and then unfollowed you within a matter of seconds. It seems like if he was looking at his feed right then, he would’ve known but otherwise he wouldn’t know. Can anyone confirm this?

Stalk carefully, ladies! :)

My ex has very low privacy settings… So indeed I do! He has a new girlfriend who has a daughter. They all look like they’re doing GREAT, and it makes me happy to see because I really am over it. (He thinks I have no idea, too, which makes me laugh.)

We went back and forth, defriending and then friending each other again early on, but we’re now not friends. When I left him and moved to a new place, no friends, new job, new town, and was having a terrible time getting over it, I would call my parents all the time. My dad’s NUMBER ONE thing was NO SOCIAL MEDIA. CUT it all out. And it worked. In fact, I have a friend who has wasted years going back and forth with a guy because they kept seeing each other and stayed connected, when they should have cut off so she could get over it.

Another ex has no internet trace WHATSOEVER – no Facebook, nothing. (He’s the kind who thinks the government is watching him through his webcam…) But he’s the one I wonder about the most, even though he was actually my least significant boyfriend. It’s so strange to have ZERO information on a person. Last I heard, he went to Canada? No clue. But I dream about him a bunch!

Love this topic and would love to hear more from others who have left Facebook altogether. Does social life go on?? Do you feel like you’re missing things?

OH my goodness, thank you! The stupid “on this day” FB thing keeps asking me if I want to repost memories with my ex-husband. That would be a NO, THANK YOU!

Joanna, you found a real gem in Caroline, as I’m sure you know. She is so funny and so relatable. I think we would be friends!

How pathetic does that sound? :)

Thank goodness my exes all existed before Facebook was a thing. I can only imagine how tough it would have been (or potentially could be!) to have to resist the urge to check in. I’d have to force myself to de-friend the person and remove all pictures until some time went by, depending on how it ended, I guess.
I work at a college and I did overhear a funny conversation between two girls:
Girl one: my boyfriend and I did blah blah blah last night
Girl two: oh my god, your boyfriend is so cute! I totally stalked you on insta.
So I guess it’s a socially acceptable thing to do these days! LOL

My ex, the only one I ever officially called a boyfriend and introduced to family, is not on Facebook or any other social media so I can’t stalk even if I wanted to. We did however stay in touch (but first no talking for a year after we broke up) for several years so I was kept updated anyway. He got a kid about a year after we broke up – he had heartbroken sex with some random girl who got pregnant – and a few years later he married another woman. I never felt jealous, we broke up for a reason and I was happy for him. I broke contact completely after he invited me over and I asked what his wife would say, and his response was “She is out of town, she doesn’t have to know.” No thanks. I no longer want anything to do with him.

I sometimes look up cute guys from work, or people I meet when I’m out etc, but thats mostly to check if they are married. I used to have a no stalking-rule for dates until I discovered not one, but TWO men I dated were “happily” married. Great.

I occasionally check up on an ex. We still have some mutual friends and I’m just nosy, I guess. It’s not really stalking if the intent is pure, right?

An iPhone app called “The Know” lets you be In The Know by telling you what someone’s relationship status is. Essentially the app allowes you to anonymously connect (chat) to people who have a relationship with or interest in the same person as you do. Basically, you can chat with “the other woman”. Potentially very useful if you are being lied to and think you are in a monogomous relationship…

OMG, I stalked an old boyfriend once, who has very little internet presence. I somehow managed to sniff out that he was married, and living in the SAME city as me (faaaaaar from where we grew up). I proceeded to check his new wife’s FB once in awhile, you know, just out of curiosity, until she BLOCKED me. I have no idea how she knew I was creepin, but it totally weirded me out. Did I accidentally like one of her pictures? Did FB put me in her suggested friends list? I have no idea! But I was embarrassed enough to chill out on the social media wormhole for awhile.