Mindy Kaling on Friendship

Did you guys watch The Mindy Project this week? I was laughing out loud through the entire episode. If you haven’t yet seen it, sneak away from your desk and watch it right now.

New York Magazine wrote a profile on Mindy a while back, and this paragraph has stuck with me: “My relationship with my mom is really the single most profound relationship that I’ve ever had in my life,” Mindy tells me…But her voice breaks when she starts talking about how she sat down with a pen and paper and asked her mother to give her all the advice she could possibly give her before she died, and Kaling realized she’d never be able to ask her mother for advice again. “I said to her, ‘Mom, I’m going to be so lonely without you.’” She’s crying now but keeps going. “And she just said, ‘You have to be your own best friend. If you always remember that, you will always have someone there with you.’”

P.S. Did you know that Mindy Kaling’s real name is Vera Chokalingam?

P.P.S. Who’s secretly in love with Danny Castellano?

  1. Christine Hart says...

    I am tearing up reading this.

  2. That’s exactly what I thought when I lost my best friend my Mum – the overwhelming loneliness without her being in my life.
    Thanks Jo for your lovely posts that put a smile on my face and hope in my heart x

  3. I was reading a book one time, and the very first page said something very similar: you have to be your own best friend – because if you don’t see the greatness in you, if you don’t respect and love yourself, how can you expect others to?

    That’s the best advice I have ever heard of!

  4. Not to overshadow that great quote, but every time I read Danny Castellano’s name I think of Dan Castaneta or whatever it is from The Simpsons and I do a mini-double take that Homer is Mindy Kaling’s love interest.

  5. ugh I think she’s amazing, and yes I am definitely tearing up right now.

  6. ugh I think she’s amazing, and yes I am definitely tearing up right now.

  7. Don’t you mean “Castelamo”

  8. Adore Mindy Kaling, especially after reading her book! And that quote just gave me chills. Wow.

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  10. Beyonce Pad Thai!! Oh my god, that is awesome. Love the video of you and Toby, Joanna–he is such a big BOY. XO

  11. I was laughing so badly when this guy wore her pants! :) hahah

  12. joanna, is there a reason for your frequent posts about mindy kaling? even when you don’t post something on her, you somehow drop that you’ll be watching her with your sister etc as a matter of factly. are you really her biggest fan out there? is she a close friend and you’re helping her? is this a sponsored post? i’m just curious.

  13. This quote almost brought me to tears. I feel the same way about my mother and cannot imagine a life without her. I sent this quote to her as soon as I read it. Thank you for sharing this.


  14. the show is fantastic. her book was so fun! i wish she were my older indian sister :)

  15. it was amazing..the writing is so laugh out loud funny..i adore her

  16. What an amazing quote!! Love it and LOVE this show! And seriously, are any of our “crushes” on Dr. Castellano SECRET!?!?! He’s the best!

  17. Yes!! This show is my absolutely favorite! Loved this post :)
    xo TJ

  18. Reading the quote from Mindy made we tear up! How incredible & true.

  19. So sweet. I forwarded a link to this to my mom :)

  20. so precious and I’ve recently become obsessed with this show.

  21. Freaking love this show! I almost peed when her one night stand put her pants on and they were huge on him. I would die. I especially loved that she referred to the sight of him as a lap band commercial. haha!

  22. What great words on friendship.

    I love Mindy and LOVE her show. Was cracking up the entire episode…especially at ‘Beyonce Pad Thai’. Hysterical!

  23. this made me tear up. i just watched this episode last night on my dvr and it was a good one. maj crush on dr. castellano.

  24. Sadly I haven’t gotten a chance to watch this yet, but I love Mindy. That quote is just incredible. My best friend’s mother is dying of cancer and my friend asked me to get her to write down what she would want to say at her daughters wedding. I never thought about the advice aspect though. So sad.

    Strive to Thrive,

  25. this episode was so good. my roommates and i all came up with mindy-inspired warrior names. i’m mariah yakisoba and my roommate is elton john hot dogs.

  26. Wow I adore that thought, and I’m finally getting there as I get older. Xxoo. Yes, love the show too!

  27. Obviously teared up just reading it. I’m going to my grandfather’s memorial tomorrow and wonder how it’s possible to live without a beloved parent.

    My mom said her Dad taught her what unconditional love it – the greatest gift someone else can give or you can give yourself.

    Thanks Jo.

  28. I thought that episode was SO funny!! I didn’t know that about Mindy’s name.. And, YES. I totally think DC is looking good in this series!!

  29. the first scene with her in her boyfriend’s shirt and him with her jeans is the funniest tv scene i have seen in i don’t know how long! my husband and i were DYING and watched it probably 10 times. LOVE her!

  30. I love her so much! she is my other girl crush! i mean from her style and look i can relate to her so much in person and on screen. I totally understand her pain. I lost my second-like mom whos actually my auntie last year and i did the same. you figure if you can get whats left of them then you will feel less lonely. I know the feeling all to well. Btw I love the show soooooo much ! i do not watch tv which people thing is weird but i watch it via online . lol and my friend is like she dresses like you lol im like yes!!and shes an ideal weight which i like how shes very confident in herself. thanks for this post. i know folks are tired of me talking about her. lol

  31. Words of wisdom, truly. Thanks so much for this post Joanna! ♥

  32. This is so sweet. My dad was my best friend and he passed away 3 years ago. this really hits home. I love mindy I think she’s so awesome. I want her and danny to end up together.

  33. This is the EXACT same advice my mom gave to me recently!

  34. Awww you made me cry! My mom is my very best friend. We chat on the phone morning to night every single day, no exaggeration. I lost my dad young and always worry about losing her. Thanks for sharing this! XOXO

  35. wow… goosebumps! that’s a great thought. we spend so much time trying to fill the void in our lives, whether it’s with other people, material things, watching too much tv or surfing too much on the web… if we just sit back and treat ourselves right, everything else will fall into place :)

  36. I love those words of wisdom. It is just so easy to begin depending on other people to make you feel whole, when in all reality, you can keep yourself company with the exact same results. Easier said than done when you are first trying it out though!

  37. it was super funny.. i loved her interview on npr — so heartfelt + open.

    also, we watched ira + abby the other night.. chris messina is one of my favorites and the movie was a perfect way to spend a lazy evening. definitely recommended.

  38. I love Mindy, didn’t know her real name is Vera. Is so sweet reading that her mother was her best friend, my mom is my best friend to. Mindy’s mom was so right about what she said, you have to be your own best friend and so you will be able to be surrounded by good people/real friends.

  39. Oh man- so crushing on Danny Castellano.
    This is beautiful advice…. <3

  40. My husband and I watched last night. Amazing. He is in his Ob residency so everything is just that much funnier to us. Loved her apartment. Not so secretly crushing on Danny Castellano. Great advice from her Mom.

  41. how touching and simple. love this! thank you for sharing!

  42. It may be because I’m 8 months pregnant, but I’m balling over here after reading that quote. So wise.

  43. Being your own best friend is the BEST advice. I am a woman of age and it took me until I was in my 40’s to realize that it was okay to spend time with myself, whether that be shopping or dining or dancing like a fool in my own home. Never let others dictate how you should be in life. Just be you, your own best friend, and fall in love with YOU.

    • Love what you wrote here Diane, I couldn’t agree more. “Be your own best friend….” is brilliant advice. I have a lot of friends and the best possible girlfriends but I also think I am my own best friend too….and I love it.

  44. I LOVE THIS SHOW! It’s hilarious. Have you read her book yet? I need to pick it up!

  45. mindy: “i was taking fish oil until it rolled behind the fridge”

    danny: “almost takes fish oil…. “

  46. I adore Mindy Kaling and this story definitely brought me to tears. Having a new found appreciation for my mother being a new mother myself, I can’t imagine a day in which I don’t speak to her. What wonderful advice.

    And I do love Mindy’s new show.

    Haute Child in the City

  47. The Mindy Project is hands down my favorite new show – I love her!! Did you read her book, “Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?” I’ve had a girl crush since then. :)


  48. I also spent the entire episode drooling over her apartment and everything in it (I’ve been drooling over her office since the first episode!)

  49. I’d say your husband looks like a lot like that actor!

  50. Crying a little in my cubicle… I never got to sit down with my Mom and have that conversation, even though my Mom was sick she passed away suddenly. Mindy’s mom gave her great advice and I think my Mom would have said something similar. Thanks for sharing!

  51. I am a huge fan of this show and Mindy’s writing! I really think she is bringing something real to an audience who is not used to hearing things this way! It is refreshing and absolutely hilarious! Great post!

  52. Such a cute show! The writing is awesome!
    My hubby and I are constantly checking hulu for new episodes!

  53. That interview brought tears to my eyes and made me want to call my mom.

  54. Yeah, this made me cry. I love Mindy. And I’m not secretly in love with Danny Castellano, I’m definitely in love with him!

  55. So sweet. Today is my mom’s 80th birthday and I feel so blessed and happy having her in my life (although that wasn’t always the case).

  56. My favorite part, from that same interview, is when she said she felt she could still have conversations with her mom – because she knew her so well and could imagine what her mom would say. such a reassuring thought!

  57. I absolutely adore Mindy Kalling. I didn’t know her real name!! I really want to read her book. What great advice!!

    Ergo – Blog

  58. oh that’s beautiful. teared up a little.

  59. I love Mindy! She is hilarious and I love it when you share little tidbits about her!! You have to love Dr. Caste-lamo :)

  60. Such a sweet quote. My mom is definitely my most profound relationship. No one else would still love me after all the mess I put her through in my teenage years. On a lighter note… I am definitely holding a torch for Danny Castellano. He is a stud and a half. Swoon!

  61. oh, yes, jessie—for now, you’re right, it’s only hulu plus. but soon it should be regular hulu. it’s such a great episode!

    • It sounds like its worth the wait.
      I read her book earlier this year and feel in love.
      What a hilarious girl.

    • What’s not to love about a man who spends Thanksgiving trying to perfect “Piano Man”?

  62. I LOVE this show and didn’t know that was her real name. And, yes, I have a huge crush on Danny Castellano. Do some people not?!

  63. that gave me chills. so lucky to have my mom in my life.

  64. I didn’t know Mindy’s name was really Vera. In her book she said her parents named her Mindy because they wanted her to have an ‘all American’ name and had seen Mork and Mindy on TV!? :)

  65. that quote is about to make me cry.

  66. I think it’ll only work (for now at least) if you have hulu plus…