In the movie When Harry Met Sally, Harry argues, “men and women can never be friends, the sex part always gets in the way.” Well, The New York Times published an article this week debating if Harry was right or wrong. And their answer was…

It’s complicated.

The writer explains how, for a long time, male-female friendships were unthinkable–after all, women were considered inferior. But the feminism movement in the late nineteenth century began to change that. “The terms ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ also began to appear in the 1890s,” he wrote. “We take the words for granted now, but think of what they imply, and what a new idea it was: that romantic partners share more than erotic passion, that companionship and equality are part of the relationship.”

So, we can have sex with friendship. But what about friendship without sex?

Nowadays, the writer says, even if you have platonic friends of the opposite sex, people around you generally still wonder if, wink, wink, there’s any funny business going on. In our culture, he writes, “We understand romantic relationships, and we understand family, and that’s about all we seem to understand. We have trouble with mentorship…comradeship…friendship….When we imagine those relationships, we seem to have to sexualize them.”

I’m curious: Do you have friends of the opposite sex? Is one of you secretly attracted to the other? Or is it completely, totally, cross-your-heart-and-hope-to-die platonic? If you have a romantic partner, does he or she mind?