My Balance: Deb Perelman of Smitten Kitchen

Deb Perelman writes the mouthwatering blog Smitten Kitchen, featuring delicious recipes and heartfelt, funny thoughts on food and life. Happily for us, she’s also finishing up a cookbook! She lives in the East Village with her husband and toddler son. Here, she tells us how she attempts to juggle everything…

1. What’s your work schedule?
My husband and I switch off nights/mornings with Jacob, but lately he’s had to leave for work before Jacob is done chatting animatedly with the stuffed aardvark in his crib, so I’m on morning duty. Not that I terribly mind. I get him dressed, make and help him eat his oatmeal, read some books with him, then get myself ready to start my day (I work from home but insist that I’m showered, dressed and able to be seen by the world, or at least a barista, by 9 a.m.). Once the babysitter arrives, it’s off to the races — literally, because I have soooo much more to squeeze in than I can ever finish in the day.

2. How do you handle childcare?
I work three full days and two half days a week. We have the best babysitter in the entire world. When I take him to the park or library, almost every time a complete stranger will come up to me to gush over how they’ve seen them out together and how great she is with my kid. It never gets old.

Thanks, Deb!

Tags: first balance series

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Tanu

March 4, 2013 11:38 am

love Smitten Kitchen and love this interview. don’t know how i missed this earlier.

Maurice

November 11, 2011 2:56 pm

A lot of helpful data for myself!
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offshore software development

October 18, 2011 9:45 am

I absolutely tie in with everything you have written.

www.castellon-3d.com

October 9, 2011 12:16 pm

Oh my god, there is really much effective info above!

Wife

August 2, 2011 6:10 pm

Thanks for this great post by Deb! I follow her blog religiously (yours too!) and was so excited to find this post about the ups and downs of every day life. Such an interesting series! Keep it up!

boby

July 20, 2011 8:47 pm

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red ticking

July 17, 2011 10:39 am

i so love this post. deb’s blog is one of my favorites and i have sent ever friend i know to her site. she is darling and jacob is adorable…. bravo.
looking forward to the cookbook!

loving your series… even though i am single this certainly helps me learn how to juggle as well… never easy. i feel as though red ticking is my baby… xx

Anonymous

July 16, 2011 11:35 pm

what a great, easy-going outlook on life! I love the idea of you working on your bed every day, just so you can be close to your son. Bravo for juggling life as gracefully as you do!

rachel Faucett

July 16, 2011 9:50 pm

I loved this interview…this is my first of the series sooo..I am sure I will love them all. I loved the comment about her mother…exactly you just do it.
I love her blog and her kid is crazy cute.
I love your theme!

Anna

July 15, 2011 2:35 pm

After reading all of these motherhood posts, I do have to say that I like and agree with this one the most, if only because she does get to be around her kid all day. Granted, I may be old-fashioned (or the fact that I’m…not a mom yet (heh)), and I know that these posts are probably discouraging these kinds of comments, but I feel like a mom is a mom first, and a designer, chef, photographer, or whatever it may be, second. And I do feel like the little moments like breakfast with your kids, or sending your kids to bed are the important things that builds relationships between parents and children. That’s something they should be doing, not a babysitter.

But! I have loved reading all of these posts! I find them all very interesting and I’m glad each of them were so specific! Great series, Joanna! And thanks to all the contributors!

Anonymous

July 14, 2011 7:16 pm

Joanna, thank you so much for this. Your honesty is appreciated!

Anonymous

July 14, 2011 5:20 pm

That was great about being a working mom for sure but I also REALLY wanted to hear more about the blog!

Alicia (Weekly Greens)

July 14, 2011 12:55 pm

You are going to make me fritter away my afternoons reading all these terrific interviews, aren’t you? I adore Deb and the more I read of her, the love affair just grows. She’s such an inspiration. I have recently become a WAHM (after years in a traditional office environment) and I’m slowly figuring it out. Deb’s comment about the assumption of women doing the juggling is spot on. I guess it’s because we are the glue and we take on everything needed to hold it all together. Thanks, Deb and thanks to you, too, Joanna.

jessa

July 14, 2011 9:21 am

I am so excited about this series Jo! I am a mother to a little girl, almost 1!, and I work as a full-time touring musician with my husband. We are both songwriters and performers, he manages our career and books our schedule and handles the road duties. I often express to him that I worry our about being a great wife, mama, working gal and homemaker. We have a unique situation because there are two of us at home to share in the responsibilities, but running your own business is hard. It’s even weirder to be away from home so frequently, but we do it as a family and it works. I was almost in tears reading this because it can be so rewarding, but also isolating at times! Thanks for focusing on working moms in a way that doesn’t make us feel like we have to do it all, all the time, always right. Somehow it all works out in the end :)

Joy

July 13, 2011 3:19 pm

She’s my favourite food blogger in the world! Baby Jacob is also so so very cute.

Elisa

July 13, 2011 11:44 am

First of all, what a darling kid you have!!
Second of all, I totally understand about the juggling part.

Third of all, yes, do make time for yourself, pedicures are a great idea and chocolates too!

Shalini

July 13, 2011 9:56 am

Wonderful to read Deb’s routine. I’m a big fan of her blog and recipes, always turn out to be winners in my home.

I’m a work at home mom too and the balance and juggle always stays, each time I master one aspect, something else gets thrown in the loop. Now, I just try to keep my cool through it all.

grown-up shoes

July 13, 2011 8:54 am

SK was the first blog I ever fell in love with about 4 years ago. I still read it to this day. Great post!

HOOTENANNY...Jennifer Jacks

July 13, 2011 8:13 am

The mommy, work, home balance is tricky…thanks for the glimpse into another working mom’s day-to-day. I just recently left the corporate world to start my own website business and have a third baby thinking it would be easier. I’m not complaining…I love being home in the summer with my othervtwo precious ones…but it is still a juggling act! Jennifer

Gina Michele

July 13, 2011 5:16 am

I love Smitten Kitchen! I must have made her homemade Oreos a dozen times. Yum…

Great interview!

♥ Gina Michele
CrochetClouds

Wei Ling

July 13, 2011 4:48 am

Yay! Thanks for featuring one of my favourite food bloggers! :)

Flannery W.

July 13, 2011 3:12 am

What a beautiful baby! I admire your ability to balance working at home without a desk and making sure your son has a great upbringing. My mom stayed home with us while my dad owned a bar, and I’m very happy I got to be raised like that. No matter the struggle, it’s always worth it in the end, especially when your son grows up and has memories of just him and his mama time. Bravo, keep it up! I love your blog!

E from Europe

July 13, 2011 3:04 am

About the distracting chatter in cafés… have you tried music? My mp3-player is saving me a lot when I have to work on train rides. Somehow I manage to block out the music while concentrating but not the chatting people.

Great interview. I love the pictures!

Monica

July 13, 2011 12:19 am

So refreshing! I dream of working from home someday and my husband and I just keep putting off kids just because we don’t know how we are going to balance everything! thanks for the encouragement. :)

Lynne

July 12, 2011 11:05 pm

I think it is so important to remember that we are all “figuring it out as we go”. It seems sometimes like you are all alone, and the only one with the time management problem. It’s a real boost to hear from others and realize that you aren’t alone, and that everyone struggles in some way to make it all work.

Dhila Backstrom

July 12, 2011 10:45 pm

I’ve made some of her recipes and they are delightful. What a great interview! It’s quite refreshing.

Chiara

July 12, 2011 10:21 pm

I’ve been read and making things from SmittenKitchen for ages and really love this interview.

Keely aka The Richest Girl in Bondi

July 12, 2011 10:16 pm

Thanks — I really enjoyed reading this post, a wonderful interview with one switched on woman. The way Deb points out the small things “will not matter one iota a little bit down the road so it’s okay to treat it as a little less than life-altering,” will resonate with a lot of mums (stay/work-at-home or otherwise). Deb’s ‘me time’ day sounds like perfection!

The Clean Beauty Blog

July 12, 2011 10:11 pm

Ps one more thought – I think that many people struggle with the idea of finding time for themself because they think it’s indulgent or not as important as the other, more immediate demands on their time, but it really is so important to accept that taking time for yourself is ESSSENTIAL and not optional!

The Clean Beauty Blog

July 12, 2011 10:09 pm

What a great series! I love how she describes the juggling as a process, and not an achievement. I don’t have kids but I think the concept of juggling to find time for work, yourself, your partner, and whatever else is universal and this series can really speak to everyone (plus we get to see cute kids!).

Emily

July 12, 2011 9:46 pm

I soooo needed to read this! How refreshingly true that it will never be neatly balanced like we would love to see happen in our minds. I’ve been freaking out lately about blogging being such a joy to me, but how I might give it up for a while because of the time commitment. This makes me feel so much better because I realize I can embrace the crazy and just go with it. I think I’m happier when I’m blogging anyways. Happy mommy = good mommy!

cde

July 12, 2011 9:10 pm

Ohmygoodness, cute curls! Jacob is adorable. This series is so interesting. I’m not a mom (not even close!) but her juggle does seem a bit blissful, if hard.

Lindsay

July 12, 2011 9:06 pm

I’ve been reading SK for years! I love seeing this more intimate side of Deb’s life all in one place, rather than interspersed in the stories that accompany her terrific recipes. Joanna, I think this series is certainly a keeper.
Although I myself am not quite ready for motherhood I appreciate the lessons you’re passing on to your readers. I love how pragmatic Deb was in the interview. It is what it is, and each day is a challenge, but at the end of the day, everyone’s happy and healthy. I love it. It’s such a humanizing view of my favorite bloggers. Thanks for sharing and great job ladies! You’ve certainly helped me take a deep breath and put my week in perspective!

The Many Colours of Happiness

July 12, 2011 8:54 pm

This was such a wonderful interview. She definitely sounds like someone with a good head of their shoulders. What an inspiration!

valerie

July 12, 2011 8:32 pm

love this. thank you! deb, i’ve been reading your blog for years and have an almost-two-year-old now. when i read about your pregnancy i was convinced there was no way you would be able to keep up with the blog, but then you totally proved me wrong! an inspiration for sure. thanks for the insight.

theRachel

July 12, 2011 8:17 pm

Who doesn’t love Deb?! She is great – I heart SK!

EMQ

July 12, 2011 8:16 pm

Finally! A woman who acknowledges the reality rather than the ideal of working motherhood. We all want to tellthe world how w’re making it work, but so many of us are just figuring it out, one minute at a time. I will definitely be referring to this article in times of stress!

cookingconsal

July 12, 2011 7:54 pm

Thank you for sharing this interview. What a great woman! I visit her site often but really enjoyed the direct back and forth! Definitely a role model for all of us busy women.

Nina

July 12, 2011 7:39 pm

I am so thrilled to read this series. I’ve been looking for work for over a year now and find that hard enough at home with my son. I really admire people who can do this. But I’ve been trying to figure out a way to do it because time goes too fast and I want to be with my son while I can so I’m reading this with interest.

And herson is adorable!

Denise | Chez Danisse

July 12, 2011 7:02 pm

Such a wise and level-headed vibe to Deb’s answers. It seems we all struggle with balancing our lives, married or unmarried, children or no children. It’s our perspective that matters most.

Michelle {lovely little things}

July 12, 2011 6:01 pm

Love these posts! I appreciate her honesty.

Corinna

July 12, 2011 5:51 pm

I definitely agree that women have a hard time juggling because we are expected to in part, and because we know that doing it ourselves is most efficient. Why doesn’t my husband think of scrubbing the bath tub, the grocery list, his mother’s birthday, and car insurance at the same time? Some men do, mine don’t.

However, because the role of a father is so important in a family, I DO in fact ask dads how they juggle work and family, though typically only if they have a job where they travel a lot. And maybe I’m just nosier than most people, which is why I ask!

Heba

July 12, 2011 5:36 pm

wow I really enjoyed this interview :)

http://girlynote.blogspot.com

Jenna

July 12, 2011 5:34 pm

LOVE this interview, so inspiring!

Elizabeth Saucier

July 12, 2011 5:30 pm

super cute photos!

Melissa Blake

July 12, 2011 5:25 pm

I loved this interview! Smitten Kitchen is one of my favorite blogs and Deb sounds amazing! :)

Melanie Burk

July 12, 2011 5:09 pm

As a WAHM I adored this post. So much of what she said was just perfect. I love when she pointed out that sometimes you feel like its Stay at home moms versus career women… where really, the lines are so much grayer. I loved how honest and real Deb was too- I feel like as women we need to be more open, and have these hard conversations about balance, work, and accepting that you can’t do it all- and that’s ok! How wonderful that we do get to work, and that we do get to be at home for our kids too… who cares if its all just a little nuts :)

Babelle

July 12, 2011 4:16 pm

Crikey! I get so exhausted reading these…I don’t know what I am doing wrong in my life but I have lots of empty space in my day for daydreaming and mooching around. Should I be busier? Am I allowed to admit I quite like working as little as possible?? Am I allowed to say that rather than bust my gut week after week, I’d rather just curb my spending habits and learn to be happy with what I have…I LOVE what I do for a living – but, I also like doing nothing…I like just ‘being’. Eeeek!!

Lindsey

July 12, 2011 4:08 pm

I love the positive attitude!! I find it incredibly easy to get stressed over little things, and there are just so many little things! I love reading these interviews while pregnant and anticipating life as a mother. Such great insight to the love, joy, excitement, unpredictability and tedium of it all. Thank you! xo

Lisa

July 12, 2011 4:01 pm

I am so loving this series of interviews, and I’m not even a mom! Such interesting women and it’s very informative and inspiring to see how they work. I also like the point that Deb makes at the end. That nobody ever asks men how they juggle work and family. Maybe someone should.

Sounds like another great set of interviews with some dads! I really liked the interview that you did with your husband last month. I showed it to my friend and we talked about some of his feelings when he started to really feel like a father.

Kacie @ A Collection of Passions

July 12, 2011 3:50 pm

I love Smitten Kitchen! I just made her steak with bloody mary tomato salad last night! Yum! Loved reading about how she balances things!

Kacie
http://www.acollectionofpassions.blogspot.com/

emilyjsimpson

July 12, 2011 3:38 pm

“I feel like the conversation is often set up as SAHM versus “Career Women” and it’s a limiting way to look at things.”
SO true! Thank you! :)

-Emily
WriteTwentyEleven

the lil bee

July 12, 2011 3:20 pm

Such great advice about spending less time trying to figure out why things aren’t in balance. One thing I often ask myself, which I think helps keep me in balance, is “Does this benefit my family in the long run?” If it does, I move forward. If it’s a waste of time and keeping me away from my girls, then I reassess. Your little one is SO cute, Deb, with those CURLS!

Kana-chan

July 12, 2011 3:17 pm

I loooooovvvveeeee her website!!!! So exciting to read this interview! Yay!

Sarah Baucom

July 12, 2011 3:13 pm

Thank you for sharing this interview! I always wonder about “bigger” bloggers and how they work it all out. I love Smitten Kitchen, as it is in my top 3 go-to recipe sites! xx

jenny

July 12, 2011 3:00 pm

I love everything you said, Deb, but I can totally relate to the part about the babysitter. I find that it makes all the difference — either when I work from office or home — to feel that way about the person taking care of my kids. If I didn’t have that sense of security I don’t think I could do it.

July 12, 2011 2:59 pm

Thanks for sharing this and for taking the time to post. I just finished eating some of Smitten Kitchen’s goldfish crackers (love the recipe). It is refreshing to hear people’s stories. Thanks.

Alyssa

July 12, 2011 2:48 pm

LOVE this interview. Very realistic expectations and down to earth. Thanks for sharing!

In Corners of My Mind

July 12, 2011 2:47 pm

I am loving this series! Thank you Joanna for thinking of it. It inspired my post yesterday,and I am sure has inspired working moms all over to start a dialogue, and maybe even to cut themselves a little slack.

Notes from Holly St.

July 12, 2011 2:45 pm

As a work-at-home mom, I loved reading this post. I relate to so much of what she said. And since I don’t personally know any other mothers who work from home, it’s so great to hear from someone who understands what it’s all about. thank you!

SEC

July 12, 2011 2:43 pm

@Anonymous 3:30 pm Excellent question re: the nitty gritty details.

Love love love this interview. Deb is so down-to-earth, and it’s great to see her in front of the camera for once!

kate

July 12, 2011 2:40 pm

My love for Deb and Smitten Kitchen has just reached a ridiculous level of girl crush. Her site has been my go-to site for over a year now (I know, I was super late to THAT party) but she is truly amazing and I’ve never had a recipe fail me. I bow down to her awesomeness and really to every single mother out there no matter what they are doing because motherhood is a full time job just by itself.

Anonymous

July 12, 2011 2:30 pm

I am finding this series fascinating. As another commented mentioned, I am interested in how WAHMs in their respective freelance industries afford childcare. So far, it seems the profiled women have baby-sitters/nannys come for what seems like 20+ hours per week. In my city that would be very expensive, and I’m guessing it is in NYC, SF, etc. where Joanna, Jordan and Deb live. I’m curious how the cost of that factors into how much you can/want to work.

Also, I’d like to see more mention of when the nitty-gritty details of cleaning, cooking, laundry, bathing the kids, etc. gets done. No one has mentioned it, so I’m guessing much of this happens on the weekend, or that partners/spouses are helping a lot. Or maybe people are getting outside help with these tasks? That is a major eater of my time, so I’m curious how these moms handle it.

If anyone has some perspective on the issues I’ve raised I’d love to hear from you. Thank you for a great series.

Stephanie

July 12, 2011 2:25 pm

Loving the posts this week! I’d love for someone to help me figure out how to get my 18 month old to stop banging on the office door while my husband and I are working and the sitter is trying to wrangle him back into the other part of our 900 sq ft condo! Yikes! Anyway.. thanks Jo for this great week… I’ve loved it so far!

Janssen

July 12, 2011 2:15 pm

I love Deb so much. Thanks for hosting her.

inspirationCOOPERATIVE

July 12, 2011 2:11 pm

Absolutely loving this week’s mom series. The two women that have been featured so far are awesome and inspiring, and it’s only Tuesday! Can’t wait for the rest of the week…Like a great novel. Thanks, Jo!
xo, Theresa

Molliee

July 12, 2011 2:04 pm

she’s great!

http://facebook.com/mstwirlyskirts

Lewis

July 12, 2011 1:54 pm

I love Deb’s blog, and it was fun to read a little more about her. Thanks for sharing this!

Trilby

July 12, 2011 1:47 pm

I love Smitten Kitchen so much! Thanks for hosting Deb on your site! Her little munchkin is so adorable and it so interesting to hear about how life is beyond the postings on the site, sounds like both of you stay extremely busy!

Diana Mieczan

July 12, 2011 1:36 pm

Oh my goodness, Deb is fantastic and I’ve tried tons of her recipes. The classic brownie one is Balazs’ all time favourite treat. Great interview, Joanna and Deb, I really loved the part when you said that the less time we spend trying to figure out why things aren’t in balance, the clearer our head will be. This is brilliant and so true. This post make my day! So good:)

PS: I cant wait for your cookbook!

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