Relationships

What Do You Like About Yourself?

Doen

At the end of the movie Something’s Gotta Give, Diana Keaton, Jack Nicholson and Keanu Reeves (well, their characters, at least) end up sitting in a literal love triangle at a Parisian bistro. Halfway through a bottle of wine, Keaton gets extra chatty and funny.

“She’s very brilliant, but the woman cannot hold her liquor,” Reeves teases.

“I like that about me,” she says with a smile.

Thirteen years after watching the movie, I still remember that line. It was such a surprise hearing the character acknowledge out loud that she likes a personal trait. And good for her! She should! She’s an award-winning playwright and she’s awesome!

It’s strange because although people are generally amazing, it’s somehow deemed socially appropriate to deny things we like about ourselves and dismiss praise so as not to seem conceited. “No, not me,” “What? I’m such a mess,” “Oh, that was nothing.” It makes me think about this hilarious Amy Schumer skit, where friends cannot accept a compliment…

But! Let’s just say take a second to say these positive things about ourselves. I’m curious what you secretly love about yourself or what makes you proud. Are you a great parent or friend? Do you have a secret talent? Are you fast reader? Or a fast runner? Are you great at your job? Are you the one person in the world who can blow dry your hair like a stylist (and if so can you teach me)? Are you hilarious? Can you make a meal out of random things in the fridge? I would LOVE to hear: What do you like about you? Say it loud and proud!

P.S. Wise words, and wholeness vs. happiness.

(Top photo from Dôen.)

  1. Oh that’s a brilliant! What I love about myself? I love how committed I’m to people, people who hurted me so many times. I could have done something different but I never think otherwise

  2. Małgosia says...

    I discovered that I am enought, and I love myself as I am. It’s short sentence, I’ve heard months ago and when you deeply think about it, your realize how brilliant it is.

  3. I like my eyes, my hair, and my nose (it is a family nose… it shows up in photos four generations back). I like my curves… even as I’ve grown heavier, I’ve stayed stacked and sexy.
    I love my sense of humor… sometimes dry and witty, sometimes very bad puns, always at the ready.
    I like that I still feel young in so many ways, open to new musics and art and colorful hair; even as the years creep on (almost 60) I don’t feel curmudgeonly at all!
    I love my empathy, and my ability to really listen. I am a solid, caring, trustworthy friend. I am a kind and giving teacher. I am a tender and loving partner.
    I like my creative, dreamer, artistic self, and I love how it merges with my practical, hands-on, maker self.
    I love that it wasn’t all that hard to find things I appreciated in myself. I intend to work to keep it that way. I hope we all do.

  4. Rhy says...

    I like my ability to be happy and have fun without drinking when I’m at an age where it seems like the only time my friends are having fun is when they have a shot in their hands. I like my independence. And I like the color of my eyes especially on grey days.

  5. I like my sense of humor, but I have to thank God for that because he’s blessed me with it. He helps me find the humor in everyday things and it’s a beautiful thing when it happens. There’s no better feeling than to laugh, in my opinion. It just feels like the ultimate release of emotion. And it makes every bad experience worth it if you can laugh about it .

    http://www.realtyhousewife.com/

  6. I love that I am a go getter. If I want something, I make it happen. And I am very self aware. I know when I’m being a jerk and apologize. And I’m really really funny and a really hard worker! I like me! It took a long time for me get here! Thanks so much for this post!

  7. brooke says...

    I can always find a parking spot – usually right in front of where I’m going or on the same block. And I can parallel park like nobody’s business.

  8. Tara says...

    Ok- I’m in. Even though this is a little hard.

    One of my elementary students just wrote a poem about me saying that I “make everything feel so safe.” So, I like that. I love how quickly students seep into my heart. I also love how intuitive I feel with people.

    It’s a strange thing to love, but I wash dishes like a zen master.

  9. MaryMargaret says...

    I like that I am a good listener and confidant and that I am loyal and generous. I like that I surround myself with a group of smart, strong and hilarious friends. I like that I am not afraid to stand up for myself or to call out ugly talk or bad behavior — in social situations and the workplace. I like that I had the courage to leave an eroding corporate situation and create an amazing place to work doing what I love. I like that I make my bed in a flash first thing every single day. I like that I am likely to say YES to kid-requested adventures of all sorts (yes to looking for animals in the park, yes to tagging along on a work trip, yes to watching all three presidential debates, yes to skipping school to see grandma in France). I like that I send out a killer holiday letter every year and that I always send my parents, my husband and my kids (and some beloved aunts!) each a postcard from wherever I travel. I like that I am a fast reader and that my kids have all developed a love of reading.

  10. Megan says...

    I’m late to the party on this one, but too good of a post not to share! I like that I’m an over-sharer, that I genuinely love to make people feel comfortable and respected (especially while hosting in my home–where I think I’m at my best), that I’m always warm and friendly no matter how I’m feeling, that I know how to curl my hair just so, and that I tear up when I’m feeling even a hit of gratitude (which is like, all the time).

  11. Lauren says...

    It’s funny – the things I like most about myself are things I’ve never realized until someone else said them to me. Just two weeks ago (I’m still on the high) I got married in a remote area of the Roman countryside and an aunt told me that on the bumpy ride to the villa, over dirt roads and past vineyards, my father said, “Gee, could Lauren have picked a more out of the way location?” And my mom answered, “That’s your daughter!” It made me feel weirdly proud. My parents think I’m brave and adventurous and unique, three things I’ve never considered myself, and now I’m wearing that line like a badge.

    • Sherry says...

      Congratulations on your new marriage! May you have many happy years ahead of you !

  12. Katie says...

    I love that I love my imperfect body.

  13. I like that I can make anything prettier. As a lettering artist, I love turning something simple into something unique and custom. Also, I like that I’ve learned to own how girly I am. No more pretending camping sounds fun. Ha!

  14. I like my eyelashes (I get asked at least twice a month by strangers if they’re real) and my ability (through much practice) to stay really aware and accept current situations rather than freak out with panic or frustration (and I wasn’t always this way!)

  15. Sarah Clarke says...

    I like that I can be a bit oblivious to any cattiness/bitchiness in situations, usually I’m totally out of the loop when it comes to “who said what to who” and all of the “did you see the look she just gave me?!” drama. I tend to always assume everyone is getting along. I like that I’m polite to everybody. I like that I’m a goofy dancer. I like that I will always keep a journal. I like that I’m known as “the funny little sister” in my family.

  16. I like that I’m inquisitive. A superior once said she likes that about me, too. That I ask questions, and I’m not afraid to offer critique, especially since that I like finding loopholes in our work.

    I like that I have standards. Nowadays, in blogging, social media or any other platform where one’s work (or person) is showcased, it’s generally a numbers game. I like that I’m not willing to churn out content just for the heck of it or because it’s what works. I hold my ground in writing content that I truly believe in, even if that means my readership is leagues smaller than others.

  17. Shannon says...

    In all honesty, this question you posed has my heart feeling heavy. Certainly the subject matter itself is good stuff, but I find myself struggling to formulate and answer. It gives me pause, because I SHOULD be able to think of a single damn thing I truly like about myself. My instinct is to say that what I like about myself is my family……my 6 children. Though in reality, I know that’s a compliment to them and a scapegoat of sorts. After all, as a mother, I try to instill confidence in those sweet kids-make them proud of who they are. I should probably practice what I preach. Im going to sit with this one for a bit and commit myself to replying again soon, but with a much more ME loving response.

    • Sherry says...

      Being proud of a family you created means you are a terrific Mom. That’s a loooot to be proud of, as you should!

  18. I like that I’m really creative. I like that I’m a good writer. I like that usually when there’s a problem, I go straight to trying to troubleshoot rather than freaking out.

    And I think my favorite thing about myself is that I have deep conversations with people without trying to. I like it when people that I wasn’t sure even like/respect me mention how they enjoy having heart to hearts with me when, to me, they’re just conversations. It’s nice to be unknowingly observed that way (much better than hearing about how messy of an eater I am).

    Doing this exercise reminds me of how much self-hate (when I generally feel like an optimistic albeit over-analytical human!) I have because I felt the urge to qualify all of my traits . I initially thought oh this is boring gonna but it is therapeutic to remind yourself of your good traits, you might surprise yourself with what you come up with!

  19. Liz C says...

    I took a personality test for work and my best trait was called a “WOO,” which stands for “winning others over.” According to this result, I can make friendships with others very easily. I was “made fun of” by many colleagues for being “a WOO,” and I became very self conscious. Years later, I realized there was no need for me to be ashamed! I find that to be my best trait, and it goes well with my smile :-)

  20. Debbie says...

    My husband, baby, and I recently went on a trip to a luxurious resort with pools and a huge water slide meant for kids. While my husband was relaxing on a beach chair with a drink and the baby, I couldn’t stop going on the water slide! My husband teased me a bit, but it’s something I decided I actually really like about myself. If I see a trampoline, I’m on it. I’ll never be too old to enjoy a pool party. I don’t want to lose that child-like sense of fun I have, and I’m secretly hoping that it will one day make me a “cool”, fun mom.

  21. Alex says...

    <3 this.

    I like that I am a natural-born leader. I like that I find "dad jokes" hilarious and am quick to laugh. I like that I speak freely for what I believe in. I like that I am fiercely loyal. I like that I am a spelling and grammar fiend. I like that I am a perfectionist. I like that I have a creative mind and am a very good writer. I like that I really enjoy alone time. I like that I can admit fault and apologize. I like that I know good food and wine and have an adventurous palette. I like that I am in a job that I never thought I'd be in yet have climbed the ladder through hard work and perseverance. I like that I am a feminist.

    • Alex says...

      *palate (hahaha, grammar fiend my a$%)

  22. Such a great point, and these comments have been so uplifting to read. Thank you for posting!!

    Recently, a friend told me she believes I’m “a genuinely good person”. I’ve never described myself that way, but it was one of the best compliments I’ve received because it’s exactly what I try to be – a good person.

    I like that I am in-tuned to others’ feelings, even when I sometimes put them above my own
    I like how I prioritize lasting relationships, and love how I’ve learned when to let go.
    I like my well-rounded taste in music
    I like that I sincerely enjoy the outdoors & disconnecting
    And I love my eyes. They’re not just my best feature, but they’re also just like my Dad’s :)

  23. Denise says...

    I am a fantastic walker. I can walk for miles and miles. I have amazing hips and legs for that & because of that. Walking makes me feel tall and powerful. I am also really good at taking care of my feet, which helps.

    These comments are so fun to read. Thanks!

  24. Lucy says...

    I really like my freckles. I have a lot of them. I used to teach (I’m a SAHM now) and every year I would have kids ask me what the dots were on my face. I thought it was SO cute!

  25. Ana says...

    Thank you for bringing this theme to life :-) I just love reading all the comments, they made me laught, think about life, it is a wonderful weekend therapy O:-)

    What I like about myself: I am a primary school teacher – I am really good doing my work, children love me, they are cheering my name each day, I can brake silence in each child who has difficulties expressing their emotions…

    I like that I am very sensitive and drama queen. I feel life and people in so many ways, which makes my life more complex and full.

    I am a really good dancer. Its in my blood :-)

    I really like the fact that I am from “mixed” cultures, I am proud I have balcan roots from Monte negro.

    I like about my self that I can easily laugh and that I have wide horizons… That includes that I love the fact I share this planet with all the nations, cultures around the world, I like the fact I love different types of music…

    I am good partner in our relationship and I really like about myself that a good relationshios are so important to me, that I can deal with everything openly and tenderly that intimacy brings.

    I like a thought I am becoming a really good mother to our little son. :-)

  26. K says...

    This is so good. I’m BP2 and it’s been flaring up so I feel really disabled and sad about the condition itself on top of the BP sadness and it gets overwhelming. I try to think of the positives that come from it.

    I’m extremely empathetic, which helps in my work. I have a weird sense of humor and managed to stay weird in a decidedly homogenous (young white people) culture (DC).

    I’m 23 and being 23 isn’t always easy but I am scrappy and resourceful and will do what I need to in order to make it, if not get ahead. I hate to say my parents didn’t teach us much, but that fact has been corroborated, so I learn all my lessons and have managed to stay afloat!

  27. Pauline says...

    Loved reading these comments!

    I like that I have separate personal hobbies from my family and friends. It’s something just for me and they have come to know and love me for them. These include being a voracious reader (I am constantly reading, be it new books or favorites that I am re-reading), hand making cards that I snail mail to loved ones, and reading movie trivia (I always have to IMDB and Wikipedia every movie I watch to find out how it was made).

  28. Flor says...

    I love my eyebrows that I inherited from my father’s side and the curves I inherited from my mother. Growing up in Utah County, where 80% of the population is Caucasian, I always wanted to fit in with the general crowd. I’m thankful to have had aunts, mothers, and friends who always encouraged me to be proud of the things that connect me to my roots, whether it’s music, old recipes, or even my skin color.

  29. Tenley says...

    I like that I can take care of myself, making food and just hanging out with my thoughts. Making muffins makes me feel pretty satisfied with life, and I love it.
    I am also really good at writing papers! The hardest professors leave little notes that say “well done!” in their comments, and it always thrills me a little.
    I am good at drawing and knitting and I dress really well.
    I also have begun to appreciate the birthmarks that dot my face like a personal constellation. It’s taken time, but I think I like everything about how I look!

  30. Lisa says...

    This post puts a lump in my throat . I need to do this exercise more often!
    I like that I am bold enough to speak up if something is on my mind, I like that I am a good listener and am honestly interested in everything the other person is saying, I like that I like good food and know good food and can answer every question a friend has about what different things are on the menu, I like that I am smart, and I like that I am genuinely happy for other people’s success.

    And finally, I like my bangs. Seriously it’s the only thing people ever compliment me on – looks wise – even though I’m overall attractive (that felt weird to say but we are complimenting ourselves, right?) – I really wear bangs better than 99% of the population LOL.

    • Nigar says...

      Lisa, now I am dying to see your bangs:) I also loved “genially happy for others success ” part-always felt that way myself.
      Cheers!

  31. Samantha says...

    Love this! The other day at work this came up while we were in a meeting and my boss “made” everyone stop and say 3 things they liked about themselves. It was oddly challenging but so fun to hear the things everyone liked about themselves. We should do this more often!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      what a cool work exercise!

  32. I love this. Especially since for so long (read: during puberty and the early part of my 20s) the thing I like about me was something I tamped down for fear of judgement.

    But now I’m older and wiser and I can happily say that one of the things I like best about me is my unabashed nerdiness. I love how important books are to me, I love my obsession with Joss Whedon and Harry Potter, I love how much time I spend listening to book podcasts and on book blogs and just in general how much I love fiction. And now I love that I’m not afraid to talk about this love all over the Internet!

  33. Kelly says...

    I’m super efficient. I’m really good at figuring out what is most important, finishing that and moving on. I like being able to help people quickly and make them feel like they matter most to me.

  34. Lisa says...

    I love that I can make a home beautiful and that I can make artwork. I love that I can see exactly what piece of furniture needs to move to make a space more open, or what needs to go to make a space more welcoming.

  35. Marti says...

    It’s funny – I decided I would comment, as I thought it would be a good practice of gratitude and self love, but I caught myself worrying that somebody I know would read it and think I was bragging………. 🙄
    I’m creative. People say I bring a lightness. I’m athletic. I smile easily. I try really hard. I’m smart. When people I love are hurting, I hurt. I like these things about myself.

  36. Jane B. says...

    I love that I am a logistics ninja! The more complicated the situation, the better I am at sorting it out, making it flow and ensuring that it runs smoothly. My brain simply works that way. I can “see” it happening in my mind’s eye. It’s a cool trait/skill/talent to have. Thanks for asking, Joanna!

  37. Katie says...

    I love my hands and my teeth. I’ve also come to embrace my large forehead, uneven ears, and pronounced jaw. I love how much I love my friends. I’m always there for them and continue to pursue our relationships through the years. I keep in touch and I am loyal to my people.

  38. Ingrid says...

    At almost 70 (yikes!) I like that I still feel young and interested in everything: people, books, ideas, travel…. I’ve never stopped learning. I am glad to be optimistic and happy 90% of the time. I’m a good mom, grandmother, wife, and a really good teacher.

    Thank you for a feel-good post and your hard work to make readers’ lives better and more interesting every day! (And thanks to thoughtful, kind comments from readers! Love you all!)

    • I just have to say I love your post. I’ve been weirdly scared of aging lately (maybe it has to do with my recent birthday) and I think I’m most afraid of getting complacent and incurious as life goes on. I hope to be like you, always learning!

    • Alexis says...

      I LOVE this comment. Thank you for sharing.

  39. Sooo, I’m curious now, what do YOU like about yourself? :p

  40. I love that I started playing ice hockey so long ago that there were hardly any girls teams and I had to change in the first aid room when I played with a boys team.

  41. Emily says...

    I love this post! I’m really enjoying reading all of the comments.

    I love my dark skin that I inherited from my Dad.

    I like my work ethic and ability to push through and keep going even when things get hard. Hard work and perseverance are what’s keeping me going while I’m in grad school and teaching 62 three-year-olds full time.

    I like my curiosity and drive for learning.

  42. C. says...

    I love that after having experienced grief, sorrow and heartache that I make the choice (most days) to live life, make mistakes, be uncomfortable and embrace it all. I also have a dimple high up on my right cheek that I love…cheeky!
    xo

  43. Alexis says...

    I constantly fight the urge to self deprecate when complimented, I just say “thank you” because you know what I did try and if someone recognizes it, that’s amazing. If someone likes my shoes or dress they don’t need the backstory of a discount or thrift store find, I just say thank you and move on.
    I’ve also moved pass the you complimented me now I must compliment you. When I compliment my friends I don’t expect a compliment back and vice versa. It’s small, but I feel like a more genuine person.
    As a side note, I love my curly hair, eyes, and freckles. Compliments to any of those make me so happy.

  44. Kate says...

    People say I’m dramatic… I like that about me, they should too, Ive been entertaining their guests at dinner parties for over 15 years now.

    And i like my hair.

    • Dana says...

      Giggle. I have a friend like you, Kate, who I love exactly for that reason. I call her my little “party favor.”

    • Stacy Saathoff says...

      Let’s be friends! This is me and all of my friends actually get upset when they have to entertain because I can’t make it! My husband calls me melodramatic and I’m so proud! Haha

  45. Ali says...

    I love that while I may be a bad host (I manage to ALWAYS host an awkward party), I am a KILLER guest. Games – I’m down! Lull in conversation, I’m in there! Jokes – I’m laughing! In fact I basically just love my enthusiasm.

    I love that I can diffuse tense situations through humour or just plain reasonableness.

    I love that I take time to remember every day that life is short and finite and try to always live life to the max – I am always down for last minute plans and I’ve made a conscious effort to explore the world (I’ve been on month long holidays at least every year since I was 21 and I’m 29 now). My now husband always complains when I’m trying to plan the holiday that surely we don’t have the time/money for a holiday yet almost every date we go on we end up talking about different stories and magical sights from our travels and where we should go to next.

    I love that I am rarely petty.

    I love that I am smart with a can do attitude and rarely crack under pressure – which has meant I have achieved everything I’ve turned my mind to.

    I love that I am passionate about wanting the best for all my loved ones. I am a very competitive person, but around 25 I realised that comparing is the devil and when it comes to my loved ones, the more spectacular they are, the more spectacular I am by association ;)

    I’m a great reader and a fantastic presenter.

    I love that I really don’t care what strangers think. I regularly never wear make-up on the weekends and I relish awkward situations.

    • Ali says...

      I’m a fellow Ali and you’re comment brought a happiness tear to my eye. We share similar qualities! All of these comments are so amazing. Bravo to all of us and the traits that make us special. (I love that I’m good at giving complements and my sense of humor.)

  46. I love that my sense of humour is slapstick which most women don’t possess. I’m a brilliant Technical Writer too, and I love that.

  47. Kerri says...

    I love my easygoing-ness and ability to put others at ease. I’ve always been considered the “chill” girl, which was fine growing up, but as an adult I SO much more appreciate this quality as it translates to my professional life. Colleagues and bosses turn to me in moments of stress or anxiety and it makes me feel like a super important, trusted, and valued team member. On my first-ever official performance review a senior exec commended my “zen” demeanor and I’ll never forget that :)

    Like others, I absolutely love this prompt – thank you so much for being the most real, down-to-earth, inspiring, and community-building blog out there!

  48. Elizabeth says...

    Such a great post, and love reading the comments!
    A few years ago I decided that if someone gave me a compliment, instead of saying something self-deprecating I was just going to say thank you. It took some training, but I was really glad I did it – I just felt more confident and awesome!
    Fast forward to this year when I moved to China. Here you’re supposed to respond modestly when someone praises you, so now I’m trying to revert to saying “oh no, I’m not that good” or “No, no, not as good as you” or whatever is appropriate… but in my head I’m still thinking “Yes! My Chinese is pretty good/I do make people feel happy/I am a hard worker, etc. Thank you!”

  49. I like the shape of my lips. I always thought they looked like the lips from Rocky Horror Picture Show and I get a strange thrill from that. This may change tomorrow, but I like that I’ve stopped thinking of myself as a bad mom. I love my son, and I try. One day I realized that was enough. Great post.

  50. Jules says...

    I love that I don’t give in to peer pressure. In high school and college I got so much crap for not drinking alcohol, but it’s never appealed to me. My mom is the same way. I never gave in whenever people were set on ‘finally getting’ me to drink. I do me, you do you.

    I also love my hair. It’s very thick and wavy. I inherited it from my awesome grandma.

    • Anna says...

      Jules, you are so cool. It takes so much strength to not give into peer pressure in high school and college! I love people who know who they are at a young age and aren’t pressured to become someone else. Keep being your awesome self! Anna

  51. Samantha says...

    What an amazing post.

    I’m an amazing problem solver, an incredible baker (I went to culinary school!) and my house is beautiful. Nothing makes me happier than coming home to my beautiful, (almost) always tidy home knowing that it is MINE and exactly how I want it.

  52. Danielle says...

    Love this post and all the comments! I love that I’m not always on my phone or otherwise distracted. I make a conscious effort to give the person I’m with my attention or if I’m alone I try to take in my surroundings. I’m a good mom. I know no one can do a better job with MY little one than me. I’m also a highly sensitive person (love the previous comments of the same) and have learned to love that about myself. Although I shed a lot of tears my husband once said to me “I wish I could experience feelings the way you do. You must feel so happy sometimes!” Yep I do!

    • Miriam says...

      oh this is a brilliant one! Thank you for mentioning it because I might not have thought of it myself but I’m also a highly sensitive person and you’ve helped me realise I actually do like that about myself! Even with all the deep emotional pain I feel I really can’t imagine experiencing life in any other way. We get to really taste & experience the sweetest moments in life as well as the bitter. That was a great observation from your husband!

  53. That video is pretty funny! I pretty much love my whole face: blue eyes, natural brows, small nose, large forehead. I used to hate my birthmark on my face and neck, but someone told me my birthmark on my face looked like a little heart. After having it for 24 years, I never noticed that.

    I’m also learning to embrace my stretch marks. I got a ton of stretch marks during my pregnancy but I’m realizing that our bodies changing as we’re older shows that we’re older, more experienced, have more wisdom, become more patient, etc. It also help that my husband likes my stretch marks too.

  54. Cindy says...

    I love my small chest and my narrow hips. I also love that I tend not to judge people easily

  55. OMG BUSTED. Can never take a compliment.

  56. Jenna says...

    My thighs/ legs are pretty much the opposite of what society/ beauty magazines say are beautiful, but I can easily swim pass most people doing laps in the pool so I’m very proud of that fact. I think it’s important to be proud of your talents and small achievements, at least quietly, in your head, to help balance out the other moments of self-doubt and despair that I’m sure all of us can sometimes struggle with!

  57. Suzanne says...

    I love this post and these comments! I like that I’m a good listener; I like that I can laugh at myself; and I like that I’m sensitive, even though there are times I cry and would rather not be crying :).

  58. Sara says...

    Yes! I think it’s hard for a lot of women to label the things they love most about themselves (but somehow comes so naturally to praise what they love about others!), but ya gotta worship YASELF, baby!

    I love that I’m generous with my friends and family, and I have a knack for giving advice. I love that I’m smart and witty, I love that I am strong and independent and confident in myself. I love that I try to be a better person every day. I love that I’m a really loving dog mom, and very caring and invested in my friends and family. I love that I’m an excellent dancer, a decent cook, and that I love to have FUN and can laugh easily at myself. I love my creativity and my sensitivity that allows for it. I loooove my freckles and my face and my big fat round hips. I love my capacity to love. I love you! I love love!

  59. Tracey says...

    When I was 29 my female director at work told me I had the sense of humor of a 12yr old boy. I didn’t take offense cause I like that about myself.

  60. Mallory says...

    Despite quitting ballet nearly ten years ago, I am still able to glide across the room. Someone recently asked me what prepared me for law school and I could provide an easy, specific response: ballet. Thank you, Mom & Dad, for all those classes.

  61. Kristen says...

    I have this very special group of girlfriends – we’ve met every Monday night for the past year and recently started a new tradition that for each girl’s birthday we sit her in the middle in the circle and share the following: Why she’s special to us, what her strengths are and what we appreciate about her. It was recently my birthday and led to one of the most uplifting, loving moments I’ve had. Especially as I’m considering a career change it affirmed that my strengths are not being utilized in my current role. And now I feel more empowered to own those things about myself!

    • spark says...

      This is gorgeous! I want to join your group!

    • Simone says...

      That’s so nice!!!!

  62. Caitlin Ashley says...

    I like that I can still, in my 30s, express excitement exactly the same way I did before I was a teenager. Whenever things are going well (someone likes my work, or I’m presented with an exciting opportunity, or I get all my shit done before my husband comes home AND ALSO somehow find the time to make us banana muffins), I get this shiver of joy that starts at my toes and feels like it explodes out of the top of my head. And I do an involuntary little dance.

  63. Erin says...

    I’m very sensitive. But I like it about myself. Sorry not sorry for feelin all the feels~

  64. What a great post and particularly timely.

    I like that I don’t judge others based on what I hear about them, I like to learn who someone is for myself. I’ve made and kept some really incredible friends this way.

    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to think about this! I am sure I will continue to mull it over :)

  65. Talia says...

    What do I like about myself…
    I am a good cook and adventurous eater
    I am a fantastic mom.
    I am very forgiving.
    While I don’t have a lot of talent, I am a great audience and cheer/support those who do.
    I have great fashion sense.
    I am able to relate to most people.

    This was a lovely exercise. Too often we see our faults and focus only on them – this certainly allowed us to see ourselves through a different filter.

  66. Beth says...

    I like laughing at my own jokes. I usually laugh harder than the person I am telling them too.

  67. Selina says...

    What a great exercise for me today. When I read this yesterday, I was feeling rather down about myself. The post had just come up and I would’ve been the first to comment but I couldn’t do it! So here I go, working on looking at life a bit different today.
    I have a green thumb! I can grow plants. From a seed, a cutting, a sad abandoned green thing, or a skeptical specimen from a box store, I can make it grow indoors or out. But don’t look at my yard right now- I’m at home with an almost 2 year old and a 5 year old most of the time!
    Speaking of them, I know I can always get a hug or a laugh from them if I try. And it’s the best thing in the world to me.
    I have 3 friends from 1st and 2nd grade. At 41 now, I think it says something that we all still like each other so much! I have at least 3 people that have liked me for almost my whole life that aren’t related to me!!!

  68. Emma says...

    I like that I have a knack for making people feel at home in my home. I love that our house has a reputation for good food, great wine and a guaranteed good time. My husband and I both prioritize hospitality in our relationships with friends and family and it’s something that we enjoy, despite the occasional hosting overload. Plus, it forces us to keep our home in a mostly presentable state, which I find is actually a key thing to making others comfortable–added bonus.

  69. Ariana says...

    I’ve struggled with self esteem since I was a child. I’m very competent and confident in my professional life (easy when your work is your passion!), but in my personal life, I am somewhat of a (I say this lightly) mess. However, something that I do like is that I’m always able to laugh at myself. I think it’s kept me from going totally insane. :)

    • This sounds very similar to myself.

  70. Christina R says...

    Such a great post! I grew up in a very conservative, scary-Christian, “wives submit to your husbands” home, and I really like that I have grown out of that atmosphere into a strong, caring, liberal, agnostic, community-minded person. (I think it’s mostly due to whom I’ve surrounded myself with over the past 10 years.) I like that I automatically think the best of people and forgive others easily. I like that I tear up at the drop of a hat. I like that I’m unapologetically tall. I like that I’m slightly bossy. (Currently working on my Hillary Rodham Clinton look of patience.)

    • Christina R says...

      P.S. This exercise totally boosted my mood for the day – what a good way to spend a lunch break!

  71. Ashley says...

    I love this and think that more women should be loud and proud of what they are proud of! You don’t hear men saying, “Nice golf swing” and the other saying, “Oh it wasn’t that good.” You hear them saying, “Damn right that was good!” Women need to be more accepting of compliments and giving compliments in return!!

    I am proud that:

    I am a good mother
    I am a good “ring leader” of my house
    I am a good baker
    I am considerate
    I am positive

    I am very proud of being all of these things and do not appreciate these qualities enough in myself!

  72. Emily S. says...

    I appreciate my baking skills. A homemade muffin for breakfast is better than cereal!

    And I know my family appreciates the cakes I share with them. :)

  73. I went to France with my family ten years ago, and we sought out that exact Parisian bistro! We had finally given up when we couldn’t find it, and the taxi driver dropped us at a little spot he suggested…. we walked in and low and behold it was the place from Something’s Gotta Give!! It’s luxurious and delicious and a truly Parisian dining experience. I’ve had a meal there on every return trip to Paris!

    I love this topic. I’m can admit that I’m quick to deflect compliments! I’m generous, in all sorts of ways, and I like that about myself. There’s something so great about bringing joy and happiness to others.

  74. Zoe says...

    I love your post!

    I like that I always try to push myself to be a better person. I like that I’m comfortable with my appearances. I’m a petite girl who wears size 5 shoes and buy clothes from Zara boys section but I’m secretly proud of it. I like that I don’t ever wear high heels just to compensate my height or because other people think I should. I like that I’m weird and quirky sometimes. I know sometimes I just want to stay in my comfort zone but I like that I also encourage myself to try and get myself out there.

    Thanks for your post Joanna. Girls need to appreciate themselves more and I think that’s the best relationship advice.

  75. Anne says...

    What a great prompt. I love my laugh and my unique smile that’s a little bit crooked. I love that I’m detail oriented and think that makes me a good employee and a good friend–I pay attention and I strive to be thoughtful and thorough in all that I do, living and loving. On a specific quirky note, I’m great with directions and making mental maps in my mind. When I studied abroad in college, I traveled all over the UK and Europe with a group from my school. I was consistently designated as the one with the map sense and would lead us around foreign cities and small towns with ease. It’s all about observing the surroundings and memorizing details (see, I love them! ha!)

  76. Madeleine says...

    Love this! Recognizing a personal gift or talent is so important, particularly since using that gift/talent is often to the benefit of others. My father always told me to never dismiss a compliment because in doing so, you undermine the sincerity of the person giving it. Instead, reply with “thank you. You’re so very kind.” How perfect is that? You graciously accept the compliment and then turn it around on the person who took the time to say something nice.

  77. Scarlett says...

    I love this!

    -I like my height. I’m 6’1″!
    -I like that I’m a good artist. And that I’m feeling the fire inside me to actually pursue it as a side-hustle/future career.
    -I like that I’m finally embracing my natural hair color. I’ve found that ashy brown looks better on me than bottle blonde ever has :)
    -And lastly I LOVE that I’m finally finding balance and peace with my body after 26 years of self-esteem issues and anxiety with food.

    • What’s your secret to beating the food anxiety? :)

  78. Sharon in Scotland says...

    I had 2 weeks off, went back to work and found that my friends had sellotaped a picture of me to my chair because they missed me!……………so, I’m a good person to be around!
    I do like my nose and that I use my hands when I talk.
    I love living by myself and being in my own company.

  79. Lisa says...

    I’m an amazing mom! My kids are lucky to have me!

    • sarah says...

      I love this! And I am sure they are so lucky to have you!— I feel like as moms we can be especially hard on ourselves.

      I’m far from perfect but sometimes I feel like I’m killin it at the parts the really matter.

  80. Tania says...

    Aww, I like this post! I like that I’m funny, and quirky, and warm. I like that I have survived unimaginably awful mental illness (hospitalization, ECT) and that somehow I can almost laugh about it now.

  81. Maiken says...

    I’m so glad you are asking this question! A very wise person once told me that humility doesn’t equal self deprecation. Humility is acknowledging our strengths and weaknesses, successes and mistakes, giftings and shortcomings. Humility is owning those things in such a way as to promote truth instead of narcissism or self loathing; by nature encouraging others to see themselves truthfully as well.

    As for me, I love my curly hair and how it’s reflected in my sweet daughter. I love that I see the world visually as an artist and am extremely sensitive and intuitive to others, even when it hurts. I love that I have street smarts. I travel well, often feeling at home in a foreign culture. When a beat drops, I can move to it fluidly. My friend the other day told me my brownies are the best she’s ever had (woot!) and when it comes to the kitchen and food, I’m very resourceful, feeding my family healthy, home cooked, from scratch food on a small budget. Speaking of food, I worked damn hard to introduce a variety of flavors, textures, and smells to my daughter in an attractive way when she starting eating solid foods… and it shows! Hallelujah! She’s a great eater and I love cooking with her. Speaking of damn hard, my husband and I worked our tails off to learn financial management and it’s such a joy to now (finally!) be able to live on what comes in, though little, and couch others to do the same.

    Thanks so much for throwing this post out there, Joanna! It was a really encouraging exercise for me to do today!

    • Maiken says...

      haha couch. *coach. Note to self: don’t pursue a career in editing. :)

  82. Lee says...

    I love that I am flexible in my expectations and if things don’t go according to the plan I can find plan B very easily, shift gears and happily move on down the road.
    I’m very proud that my 3 children are the same way.

  83. Sara says...

    I like that I’m a redhead because I feel I’ve earned the compliments I get now, after the insults I endured growing up. I like that I have a really good sense of direction – it makes me feel like I would have been useful in another time, and am currently when navigating a group through the West Village. I like that I’m deeply and acutely perceptive – not much gets by me. My favorite thing about myself is my natural and immediately accessible empathy for others. Thanks for this!

  84. I love my sense of loyalty. In a world that seems to be filled with flakey people, I hope my words and actions communicate loyalty. I’m pretty damn funny, too. And I love that I chose to defy some of the expectations placed upon me (by family, friends…and myself) to live a wonderful life.

  85. Tracy says...

    I’m a great flirt.

  86. I like that when I heard Donald Trump call Hillary Clinton “such a nasty woman” I SURGED with boldness and tenacity. I like that I don’t cave so easily. I like that I feel things in a big way. I like that I wear my heart on my sleeve. I like my feelings. I consider them an asset.

  87. I am a REALLY good friend. I will not give up on you, forget about you, or stop including you. I love my friends seriously forever. Also, I’m smart, creative, and find the good in situations :)

  88. Inge says...

    I like that I’m generous, friendly, and I take care of family and friends. I hope to pass this on to my kids.

    I love love love Something’ gotta give! It’s one of my favourite movies ever, although I’m only 33, it’s so genuine in some way. I watch it everytime when it’s on.

  89. Clara says...

    I experienced an unexpected and devastating event this past year that changed my life in big and painful ways. I love that, although I was often in despair, I always put one foot in front of the other and kept moving forward. I kept taking those steps, and asked for help when I needed it, which was often. For most of my life I’ve been very self-reliant–I feared imposing on others, and thought that I should do everything myself. This event opened me to reaching out to others, and I was humbled by the response I received. I haven’t had to articulate this before, but I see that what I love about myself now is both my resilience and my willingness to show my weakness and ask for help.

    • Ali says...

      Totally beautiful – asking for help as an independent person is hard. Good on you for finding the positives in such a dark time x

  90. Julia says...

    I like that I am incredibly curious and that I love playing different roles: mother, wife, CEO, musician, etc

  91. Erin says...

    I love that I’ve broken stereotypes and am a young woman in a STEM career. I love even more than I’m good at it. I love that I remain composed in times of crisis and that I’m independent. Also, I had a temper as a child and now hear people say to me “Erin, I can’t even imagine you being mad”. I worked so hard for that and anger is almost non-existent in my life now.

    • Erin says...

      that I’m good*

  92. In my early 20-s, I had a tight group of female friends. We all lived in a mountain town together and prided ourselves on being strong women. But when we would get ready for an event of party together (the best part of events and parties, btw), we would always sneak some self-deprivation into the conversation…

    – Why can’t I have skin like yours?

    – You can pull that off, because you don’t have fat arms.

    – I just hate my thighs.

    One of our friends implemented a new rule: “Every time you say something you don’t like about yourself, you then have to say two things you DO like about yourself.”

    It was so lovely.

    – I like my smile and my hair.

    – I know it’s weird, but I like my feet! And I like my skin.

    – I love my chest and I like my nose.

    I think about this often when I catch myself being hard on myself.

    I like my sense of humor… and I like my eyes.

  93. Dee says...

    Let’s blow our own trumpets, shall we? I am a warm, generous, trustworthy person, good at remembering faces and voices (i’m rubbish with names though lol).
    Even though I feel under stimulated and a bit uninspired lately, I am proud of pieces I have written in the past. I think I am rather good at analyzing people’s motives and behaviour patterns, and I am a great packer when travelling :)

  94. Stacy says...

    I love that I’m 45, but feel 25, that i can make any home cozy in about an hour with things I find laying around, that my friends ask me to take a nap on my couch because i make them feel safe and comfortable, and I love my dark hair after years of wishing I were a blonde. Its taken me a long time to like and even love things about myself; I’m hoping many of you learn to do that sooner!

  95. MWR says...

    Sitting here reading these comments, I have an actual lump in my throat. It’s so refreshing to hear people speak well of themselves and to support one another when we acknowledge we’re not feeling great. I love this exercise and I’m going to practice it with my children periodically to see what they love about themselves, too.

    Here is what I love about me: I’m the friend that keeps the group of friends together. I have friends from all phases of my life, dating back to kindergarten, and when I have needed them, they show up without question. I love that I am still connected with people in my life who have passed away, and that I’ve found a way to communicate with them and continue our bond. I know that love and energy never die, they just transform. I love that people seek me out for advice all the time, with their careers, their relationships, and writing projects. I love that my words resonate with people I may never have had a connection with, had I not put myself out there. And I love that I’m raising my children to feel safe, loved, and valued. I teach them that they know the answers to most of life’s questions already, and that I’m just here to guide them. I don’t think this is a particularly popular way of parenting, but I believe in it wholeheartedly, and I see the confidence it instills in my children.

  96. Dana says...

    Reading these comments made me cry! What an amazing post, I absolutely love how many people took the opportunity to comment what they like about themselves. I like that I am constantly seeking how to get the most out of life, how to support others in doing the same, and how to move our society in a more connected and sustainable direction. Which includes being able to love ourselves openly!

  97. Sarah says...

    What a lovely post! I think as I’ve gotten older, I’m much more accepting of who I am than I was in my teens and twenties. I’m approaching 30 in a little less than a month, and I feel like my personality is pretty baked-in by now. It has helped that my boyfriend gives me constant compliments – hearing that I’m beautiful every day makes it seem more real to me. My parents are academics and even though my mom told me I was beautiful a lot (and still does!) there was a much greater emphasis in our house on what we do with our minds and what we expect to achieve- as there probably should be!

    I like that I’m funny, loyal, and thoughtful. I love that I’m a reader and that I hold on to my dear friends from growing up and from more recently, even when we’re physically distant- the minute we’re back together, it’s as if no time has passed. My favorite physical feature is my big, green eyes :)

  98. I love that I’m passionate about things that matter to me, even when it gets me in trouble. I don’t have a poker face – I wear my emotions plain. It makes me vulnerable but at the same time you never have to wonder where you stand with me.

  99. Sam says...

    My “super power” is I can tell when people are approaching a complete break down. For my close friends/family, I can predict it down to the month it will happen. 8 years at an academically intense all-girls school will give you a nose for drama and the limits of someone’s capacity to deal. This skill has come in handy in every job I’ve held.
    But what I love about myself is how invested I am in helping other people when I know they are in trouble. I can’t always help but I like that they know I’m there for them no matter what.

  100. Kathy says...

    Joanna I think I speak for several of us…We would love to hear what you like about yourself? *I like that I can ask others to create a greater sense of intimacy in relationships my being open and honest. I am a psychotherapist :-) I like that about me.

  101. Lea says...

    Love this! And I love that for the second time you have a mom featured from my kiddos play group when we lived in Echo Park. Go Echo Park Moms! Both women are so strong (other is my Mom friend Sarah Ali Pacha)! Thank you for having some great blog conversations!

  102. I like my grit! I can deal when things get tough, and I can do hard things. I love knowing I can rely on myself like that.

  103. Claire says...

    I like that I’m able to remain calm in stressful or dangerous situations, I like that I read teen fiction even though I’m well into my thirties and have three kids and I like that I don’t freak out about things being messy (anymore).

  104. You are so right and I practice owning it. It feels authentic when done right, and I am usually drawn to others when they can acknowledge a compliment and not dismiss it. Hmmm, I love that I am a great organizer. I’m a really good teacher, and I think I give pretty good advice. Off to make a list in my journal! Thanks for the inspiration.

  105. I always say that I think I’m exceptionally good at making people (and animals, too!) feel cozy and at home.
    I am a pretty darn good cook.
    I LOVE to make people laugh and frequently do so! I had a humor piece published recently and someone said ‘I laughed so hard I spit out my water’ – this thrilled me to no end.
    I’m always trying to help other people.
    My hair can get REALLY crazy because it’s thick, wavy, and frizzy but when it does behave, I get a lot of compliments on it.

  106. Oooh self-boosting! I love that I want to learn about the world and that I can be a good friend. My sister tells me I have a way with words and that makes me happy. And I love that my sons know they are loved (and I like that I really try not to yell. Work in progress).

  107. Just yesterday I was walking with a coworker and as we turned a corner, she almost bumped into something. She laughingly exclaimed, “Oh no! Not my lovely face!” I loved that! It is rare to hear someone appreciate themselves! As for me, I’ve always been proud to be great at curling hair. My friends ask me to come over early to do their hair before we go out all the time.

  108. Kristen says...

    Thank you for this opportunity! I love that I am a keen seeker of light and how awestruck I am by it and how it changes and plays on nature. I love my deep appreciation for being in nature. I love my natural abilities most of all, that I’m strong, active, have the ability to feel deep empathy, have an aesthetic eye. My love for reading books, for my parents and animals. That I possess the ability to ask people great questions and am generally interested in others. I would like to hear what you love about yourself Joanna!

  109. I love this exercise- and I’m ashamed that I seriously had to think about it! I love that I can get ready for the day super fast and look like I spent 2 hours. I love how I keep long term friends from every experience in my life– elementary school, high school, college, study abroad, first internship, first job, first job in another city, and now a new city. I love that I’m good at my job- I was just nominated for an Emmy! I love that I came from a small town in Kentucky with dreams of being a TV producer and I did it on my own. I love that I can make a travel itinerary that makes every vacation the best trip I’ve ever been on. I love how self aware I am and how in tuned to my feelings I am and why I feel that way. I like that I like to read and do read a lot. I like that I love a deep documentary, a trashy reality show, and a scripted thriller all the same with no shame.

    Thanks for this! What a mood booster!

  110. margie says...

    I like that I am kind, empathetic, and positive. I like that I stop to smell the roses, figuratively and literally. And I laugh at almost anything. Even the worst, most inappropriate things/times (think funeral, someone getting hurt but not critically, something going wrong), I can find something laughably funny…I used to be embarrassed, but I love this about myself now. I learned to own it. I am who I am.

  111. I love that I’m the landing place for my family and friends. I’m not the funniest, the most exciting, or the most spontaneous member in either of those group, but I provide a sincere, consistent, and warm presence that makes people feel comfortable and loved.

    • Lisa says...

      This. I never knew how to pinpoint this or express this in words but this is who I am to my family and friends as well. Thank you for opening my eyes to this!!

  112. Roberta Williams says...

    I like my kind heart, that I notice when someone doesn’t have a coat in winter or that someone feels left out of a conversation.
    I like my legs, even though my peers made fun of me. Now I see them as slim and long and sexy.
    I like that I give myself time and patience to grow.

    P.S. Love this post. Thank you.

  113. I love this post :)
    I love that I am empathetic and intuitive towards other people. I used to think I was too aware of other people’s emotional state and had a hard time of putting myself first, but as I’ve grown older I’ve been learning how to balance the two and have come to really love the part of me that is really connected/aware of other people’s feelings.

  114. Anna says...

    Here are the traits I hope I pass on to my daughter: Boundless curiosity, the ability to see the sacred in small things, a good sense if direction, an aesthetic sensibility, and good intuition.

  115. Colleen says...

    I am a great mom. My parents were kinda trainwrecks.

  116. Cindy says...

    I always, ALWAYS, deflected compliments when I was younger. It made me very uncomfortable to hear anything good about myself. But now? I like hearing what others like about me; what they see in me that I may completely overlook. My boyfriend tells me I am beautiful when I feel like I am having a very un-beautiful day…he tells me I am unbelievably sweet and positive (glass is ALWAYS half-full with me!) and he loves that I make him laugh every single day. What do I like about myself? I like that I can talk to anyone and make people smile; I like that the glass is half-full – that I always see the positive in people and things; I like that I use humor to deal with just about every situation there is; I like that I am a fast typist and reader; I like that I am discovering how much joy cooking brings to me at this point in my life; I like that I raised 2 incredible boys that are now incredible young men; I like that I have my 101 year old grandmother’s spirit of adventure and sass; I like that people can’t tell how old I am and I like that I try to laugh each and every day.
    We all have beautiful, wonderful attributes or talents and we should embrace them and acknowledge them <3!

  117. Meredith says...

    Such a fun and positive thing! And reading the posts, a bunch of things I am good at (and like that I am good at) popped out from others comments. I’m in my mid-40s, and in addition to the not so fun things about aging, there is a really great thing, and that is recognizing who you actually are and learning to accept and love that person more. Here goes!

    I love that I am tall.
    I love that I am strong and can haul a 50 pound bag of chicken feed like its nothing.
    I love my hair.
    I love that I wear a size 10 shoe.
    I have a great laugh and a really weird sense of humor.
    I love that I have a great rapport with animals.
    I love that I am not bothered by gross things…..bugs, dirt, walking around a marsh, cleaning up very yucky messes. I just get on with it.
    I grocery shop and meal plan like a boss and can whip up dinner out of anything.
    I love my super fast mind and my intuitive sense of how things work.
    I love my great sense of direction and and my mad car packing skills.

  118. Kelsey says...

    I like to make my friends and family laugh and most of the time my attempts are successful!

  119. Wendy says...

    this is a great exercise because it can be so hard. even as I read someone saying they are a great mom, it’s hard for me not to think of all of the times I wish I were a better mom! BUT, here goes… I have a great memory, which helped in school/work as an oncologist of course, but I remember specific things about my patients’ families, etc, totally unrelated to their cancer, and they seem so happy when I ask about their children or vacation or whatever. I can figure out how to fix things. My kids ask me to create the most ridiculous things for imaginative play, and I can piece them together. It’s like I’m channeling Macguyver sometimes. I am a great multitasker and can be extremely efficient. (confession: I also don’t like this about myself sometimes because I am not always as “present” as I would like. )

  120. Lo says...

    I like how quickly I understand/perceive things: new technology, the plot of a movie, how do create a recipe – it just clicks with me. However, it can be my downfall because I find myself getting irritated when people don’t understand something as quickly as I do – it’s something I’m working on because an eye roll at the wrong person could get me in trouble…

  121. That’s probably my favorite line from the whole movie!
    PS – I’m an adventurous eater, cook comfort food that will turn your day around, and generally have a sunny disposition!

  122. There are two things I like about myself: one) I am told often that I am someone people trust to accept them no matter what they tell me about who they are or what their life looks like right now — I have an intense ability to genuinely love people & two) I’m pretty damn funny (thanks for exposing me to John Cleese early, dad!)

  123. Alyssa Leister says...

    Awww this is nice!

    I love that I’m thoughtful to friends, quick to provide forgiveness to others, and sarcastic/snarky!

  124. Kari says...

    I love making people laugh, I like that I’m able to make even the shyest of person feel comfortable in a situation. My mom gave me a great piece of advice when I was young – to seek out the loneliest looking person at a party , event ect and strike up a conversation – this has helped me be more comfortable in social situations also!
    I love that I’m a really great mediator and can diffuse arguments or disagreements between people.
    I like that I like to follow a recipe
    Thanks for this post, loved reading the other comments.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      That is the NICEST advice, Kari!

  125. Diana Witt says...

    I like that I’ve learned to like myself as I’ve gotten older. I’ve learned to give myself credit when it’s due and to cut myself some slack when it’s necessary. It was no small feat and I am proud of it.

  126. Jess says...

    One year ago I was very impressionable, but as the year has progressed I find I am becoming more and more confident in my ability to make the decisions that are best for myself. I’m really proud of this change for the better.

  127. Jill says...

    Great reminder. I love how I imagine other people complexly- people from different backgrounds, ethnicity, biases. It goes a long way against prejudice. It’s very important to me to empathasize with others and not subscribe to absolutes.