What Did You Do This Weekend?

Satisfying introvert’s weekend. Started A Marriage at Sea, proclaimed myself a birdwatcher after spying on a family of sandhill cranes in our yard, and grilled cedar planked salmon for a special family celebration.

OMG I AM SOOOOO HAPPY YOU ARE BACK TOGETHER WITH FREDDIE. BUT ALSO NO PRESSURE TO BE BACK TOGETHER WITH FREDDIE. BUT ALSO YAYYYY!

I apologize for the all caps, but, seriously, I’m so delighted for you both and am sending you all the cozy, secure, happy, certain, and sure vibes in the world. Thanks so much for keeping us posted via Big Salad and now here.

We had our family over for Friday night dinner (11 kids and 8 adults), we relaxed at home and ferried the kids to play dates on Saturday, Sunday we went swimming and to a birthday party. It was a “normal” weekend and it was perfect!

You guys, you gals, I have been in such a weird mood the last few weekends. I start out with a whole To Do list and everything scheduled but…nothing gets done. Not the fun stuff (planning a summer trip!), not the boring but essential stuff (deep clean), not the stuff that I have already started and should be coasting on (got an eye exam, have yet to actually get the glasses). None of my usual hacks—checklists, thinking of ‘future me’, bribing with ice cream, breaking things into even smaller tasks—are incentivizing me. At first, I figured I was just a little burnt out and a few lazy weekends would be ok, but this is getting ridiculous: I just. can’t. make. myself. do. the. things. What even is this?! How do I make it stop?

We hosted a neighborhood celebration of life for our beloved elderly neighbor. They don’t have kids, and we feel so honored to have become their chosen family. Over the years, as their health has declined, their world had become really small, and we didn’t even really know who to contact. We put up fliers in our neighborhood, and a ton of people showed up, even with a last-minute time and date change due to stormy weather! It was really joyful, and everyone loved catching up with her surviving spouse and checking out the photos from her 20s and 30s – she was a total babe! Overall just really made me appreciate my community.

I had a fun night yesterday going to see a friend’s dad’s band with a group of old girlfriends. Even better was that the band t-shirt I was wearing apparently inspired the bartender to play both albums by the band on my shirt (The Twisted Teens) before the show, so I felt like I was controlling the music. As a music nerd, that’s basically my favorite thing, and as a 51-year-old who is used to being invisible among the youth, it was even better. I also devoured Kathleen Hanna’s memoir, which I want to give to every young person interested in a career as an artist. It was excellent.

Ever since the pandemic I have had to switch my work schedule to the weekends, so that’s what I did. Fortunately I really enjoy my work {pediatric occupational therapist} and I have the gym all to myself, which is an incredible luxury in NYC.

Fun that you asked about running track — this weekend, I met up with some old college teammates who organized a beer mile (4 beers consumed, 1 every lap). We were all distance runners (5k/10k for me) and the sweetest part was not anything to do with running, but seeing all these friends with their little kids. (I didn’t do the mile, I don’t think I could handle 4 beers in a row w/o the run!) In college, we spent HOURS running together, pulling tables together in the cafeteria, and being nosy about who was dating who. To see these sweet toddlers and just think “I was there when your parents met!” Is so special. I never loved running, but I loved the people, and that kept me hooked. A team can be so special!

we had some summer fun this weekend — going to the public pool, and taking the kids and friends to an arcade & ice cream!

and then… at church on Sunday, our rector read a passage from Lucy’s epilogue in “When Breath Becomes Air” during the sermon! So moving, of course (and also somehow contained humor!)… I finally read When Breath Becomes Air during the spring and was as moved by it as I expected to be. But there was something really amazing about hearing it read out loud – both for the message that was contained, and also for the sense of broader connection I felt in that moment. So grateful!

My rambunctious cat is seriously slowing down and spends most of his day napping in the grass under the jacaranda tree. This weekend, I took my cue from him, threw a blanket and pillow on the lawn, and curled up next to him with a book. He was so happy to have company, and I was more chilled out than I have been in a long time. So that’s my plan for summer. I’ll be out there every chance I get.

We took our three-year-old to “A Year in the Life of Frog and Toad,” a musical based on the books in our little community theater Saturday morning then hit up the splash pad after his nap. On Sunday he ran a kids 1k in town, and I ran the 5k, which we chased with donuts, of course.

While he was napping with my husband (their Sunday tradition- co-sleeping for nap), I ran to the grocery store to prep for friends to come for dinner. While I was at TJs another friend called, teary. Her baby had an anaphylactic and was en route to the hospital via ambulance with her husband. She stayed back with her toddler. I checked out of the grocery store and headed over so she could go to the hospital. I had the privilege of getting her 2.5 year-old up after nap. At first she looked confused- why was I there? When I said her sister had a doctor’s appointment, so she was going to have a playdate with my son, she absolutely beamed and directed me through everything she need to get ready to go over to my house. “I potty. My cup. My sandals.” The baby was okay, thankfully. And I felt so grateful to be chosen family for another family in our town. Neither of us have local family, so in a crisis, it’s good to know who can show up, who your kid will be okay with. Our community took time to build, but it is solid.

I flew to Wyoming yesterday (a day later than planned bc of a flight screw-up) to visit my son. He’s 18 and just finished his first year of college. We went shopping for groceries and gassed up his car; I enjoyed participating in the time-honored tradition of parental parachuting in with financial support.

We cooked dinner, by which I mean he cooked dinner and I (barely) helped. He’s a great cook…got his mise en place all ready for the ginger-soy asparagus and the pan sauce he did for the chicken breasts as I sliced potatoes. No recipes…just winging it. Everything tasted amazing.

He told me that his friends invariably end up over at his place most days and I ignored the Modelo cans in the recycling bin. 18 years into my parental journey, I still don’t know if I’m doing the right thing at the right time. Who is this kid? And where did he come from? Sometimes I don’t know and it hurts and also makes me really proud.

We’re heading into Grand Teton National Park for a hike today. Looking forward to it.

I carried around my heavy heart and tried to not take it out on my husband and children. We are moving back to the US after living in England. I really don’t want to come back. It’s so hard.

Does anyone have tips for dealing with the heartbreak of moving?