By the wonderful Grace Farris.
P.S. Vacation threats and fantasies I have about my kids getting older.
By the wonderful Grace Farris.
P.S. Vacation threats and fantasies I have about my kids getting older.
Whilst I wouldn’t say it to their faces, it is nice to chuckle to myself or my partner about someone who is clearly acting like they think they’re the main character and need a reality check ASAP 😂 I also love restaurant conversations with friends! It’s amazing how much it differs from when you’re just talking online.
Being able to chat enthusiastically with someone else in the house about skincare routines! 😆 my husband’s eyes glaze over when I talk about a new face oil I’m excited about.
I just started watching Brooklyn 99 with my 11 and 13-year-old and I’ve never appreciated the 30-minute sitcom more.
Omg we all loved this! Hilarious.
I also like when they say “I’m having my main character moment”and it’s a positive or describes a hard time too they’ve had. And I often hear “It’s not that deep mum”.
I am old but I spend way too much time on the internet. (Guess I’m not that old). Anyway, I explained “Main Character Energy” to my even older relatives this Thanksgiving, and we all agreed it is a WONDERFUL new term that explains something that has been happening forever in human history and we’re all going to use it all the time. Bless whatever kid (or marketing genius) who came up with that one.
I don’t know how I missed it before, but I just discovered Modern Family a few months ago and wow am I obsessed! It is so funny and so feel good and the laughs-per-minute must be on par with Ted Lasso which is my all time fav. Now I’m noticing it referenced everywhere (like here!) solidifying the fact that I was the last person to know. Haha.
I didn’t watch Modern Family until like season 5, but have certainly watched every ep in reruns. (Which are on All. The. Time.) Phil and his goofiness are just the best antidote to a harsh day and I will always sit down for The Old Wagon episode.
I am a middle school teacher this year, after many years teaching high school. It’s been a significant adjustment. When they are kind to each other or to me, it means a lot. I try to praise the behavior without calling too much attention to it, because then it’s no longer cool.
My 16-year-old daughter and her friends have vowed otherwise when talking to each other. Teen girls can be SO mean to each other, like damagingly mean, in a world that already sends the message that females should stay small, be polite, don’t stand out. And so this
group of girls are encouraging others to own their main character energy, to not be afraid to say good things going on in their lives. And recognizing that this can be done without tearing others down or hurting others’ feelings. Let’s not encourage our kids to tell other kids they’re not the main character. If anything, especially in their own lives, that’s exactly what they are and show they should feel about it, too.
i kinda thought this way too, but i guess maybe theres a difference? some kids never feel like the main character in their lives at home (myself when i was in middle school included) and no one is making them feel loved and valued. a lot of young kids act out/act ‘extra’ because they need attention from somewhere – hearing others tell them they are not worth it or the main character would break my heart.
i hear you and appreciate you saying this — it is nuanced here, i think. there are times when one is appropriately the main character or stand in our own main character energy fully, and there are times when someone is genuinely taking up too much space — and in the latter case, this is a potentially kind — and direct — way to create that recognition in a group and contribute positively to group dynamics. it can be both!
@Andrea, sounds like your girl has a great group of friends. The term has a very positive place in teen support too though. The way I hear my daughter and students use this term is primarily when someone is making it all about themselves when it shouldn’t be– i.e. a friend sharing a hard experience they had and someone interrupting to say “oh that’s not so bad, listen to what just happened to me…” A reminder of “Main Character Energy” is shorthand for “it’s not always about you.” Also helpful to remember at a time of life when one thinks their every move is being scrutinized and judged. Not true, as we are always the main character in our own stories!
Modern Family is our go-to bonding show at the moment! Anytime I am asked, I stop what I’m doing and watch with my 15 year old. The 18 year old even joins in sometimes.
“You’re not the main character”
Brilliant! Gonna use that one.
Awww I love this one. Real conversation I had with my boy this year. I thought I was giving him the right advice when I said, “Try not to smack talk. You never know what someone is going through. Just in your class alone, there’s a girl trying to get over her parent’s divorce and a girl whose dad is dying of cancer.”
Then my feelings got hurt by an Adult Mean Girl at work. Out of curiosity I asked my son what he’d do.
“Girls get compliments all the time, so they are not prepared when they are insulted. Boys insult each other all the time on the daily. They brush it off.”
I am good at forgiving and letting things go but this made me get over the hump.
This is such a lovely insightful comment from your boy.
Bless your son, but also, she’d probably be on my shit list for life, haha. No room for mean girls here!! (assuming it was intentional, sounds like the way you describe this was the case)
Celeste, I think that *both* your advice to your son and his to you are valuable. It’s important to remember that other people are going through hard things that might not be visible on the surface, and act kindly, and it’s also worth being able to just brush it off when someone else is thoughtless or a jerk. Two things can be true at once! (And your son sounds like a good egg.)
Your son is a smart kid! The world is a tough place, and that’s made me grateful to have spent most of my life surrounded by mostly males. It’s a great lesson, not to internalize things if you don’t have to. Sometimes I wonder how they can rib each other *quite* so hard, but it does seem to be a language all their own. I worked next to a bar for a while in my twenties, and it was eye opening to see how the drink could suddenly render them more tender with one another – perhaps a display of empathy that they’ve learned from us?