The Psychology Behind The Bachelor

Well said i look at it like cows being put before the bull to choose.

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The Bachelor is definitely a guilty pleasure of mine, but every year I feel sadder and sadder for the women. They’re 23 and sobbing over being let go by someone they’ve been on one date with and known for a few weeks, because they don’t know why “they haven’t found the one” and “are destined to be alone.” Seriously ladies, you’re 23, enjoy your lives and being single! It just really speaks to how so many women are brainwashed into thinking that their main life purpose is to make a man happy.

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Great post! Comparison between “The Bachelor” and Stanford University Prison Experiment is absolutely brilliant! ;)

Oh my! I never thought about comparing it to the Stanford Prison Experiment but it really is just like it! I remember learning about that experiment in my psychology classes. I have never been a fan of The Bachelor though.

http://www.inthelandofjen.blogspot.com/

What an interesting post, Joanna! I still watch The Bachelor/Bachelorette as a guilty pleasure after all these years and one of the main draws is the psychological factor. How seemingly smart, interesting women with exciting careers inevitably end up crying in the exit interview that they’re brokenhearted over a man they’ve spent maybe a total of 3 days with.

I can’t get over the fact that they’re not allowed to read books! I would go insane, I would probably start reading the labels on packaging if I went on this show. Or like someone else suggested earlier, bring in a few books disguised as bibles.

Not being able to listen to music or keep up with the news?! Having nothing but a date to look forward to obviously contributes to how quickly everyone falls in love. It’s so fascinating!

I’m still obsessed with this show and I don’t know why. Even though my husband used to do set design on the Bachelor and he told me all the horrible things the producers used to say to the girls to instigate drama. Ay ay ay. But I can’t help it. It’s such good entertainment! ;)

Totally!!! So so entertaining but so unrealistic! Hopefully none of the girls accidentally let one go, that’s a definite “kick off”!!

Wait, did you say that the women on the Bachelor are not allowed to read books????!!!!!

yes, I think Juan is doing a lot better than most previous bachelors. He seemed to handle Victoria perfectly when she went off the deep end.

The article that you’ve quoted, while fascinating, does not really answer the question of “why do these women put themselves through all that crap?”
My theory, for a long time, has been that the reason for that is the same as why Ken does not figure in many of Barbie sets and has next to nothing in terms of outfits (comparatively speaking, of course). Ken is just an accessory to Barbie, another part of the “complete picture” like cars, the house, etc. He does not have to be interesting, because it’s not about him.
I feel that the type of woman that will go on a show like Bachelor does not go in hopes of finding “the one”, but to be a Barbie for a couple of weeks. To be immersed in this weird non-reality of glamor/romance/vacation/tabloid fodder must appeal on a visceral level. And that’s the exact reason a lot of people watch Bachelor – to live that fantasy out vicariously (that, and the gossip factor – you get a legitimate reason to dig through someone’s private life (and I use both “legitimate” and “private” in their loosest definition)).
I’m not even sure how many of these women honestly believe that they might find their “one”, especially since we’re in, what, 13th season and the track record is so bad. They may say that they are, but – especially in the light of what someone just said in comments (that the women don’t even seem to be competing with each other) – it feels to me that the main reason for them choosing to be on the show is to live in a Barbie world for a short time. And the Bachelor does not even have to be that interesting of a person, because he’s incidental.

I’ve watched on-and-off for years and I’ve become increasingly skeptical. It seems obvious that the show never presents any real circumstance for the contestants to speak with their bachelor at all similar to what might happen in real life; It’s so strange to watch person after person claim that they are really falling in love. I was especially disgusted when the prosecutor (can’t remember her name) quickly followed up telling Juan Pablo her profession by saying that she “hates to read”. Really? Why did she need to dumb herself down for him? I don’t think I can keep watching this season. It seems to have reached a new low.

I love this post! First because Joanna you’re amazing and come up with the best posts. I also LOVE reading all the comments!! I feel like I’m part of a group of smart & funny women!! I had given up on The Bachelor, but this season got me with the hype of Latin Soccer playing Single papa, Juan Pablo. Sucker! Haha! Sometimes I can’t even watch the women humiliate themselves (and have to change the channel real quick)! Now I know what WE are all doing on Monday nights! Cheers!

No reading books? Crazy! And yes, I think the most appealing thing about being on the show is the free vacation!

The Bachlor/Bachlorette is also my guilty pleasure!! And I now have my sweet hubby watching it with me (he ad libs and makes awesome funny comments which always makes me laugh) which makes the show that much more fun. I love the crazies on the show…makes it that much more entertaining.
Great article…thanks for sharing. Cheers.

Thanks for sharing this! Every season I can’t believe how crazy the Bachelor is, and yet, I can’t stop watching. Plus, it is so much fun to watch with my roommates, especially when we mix up cocktails and make March Madness-style brackets featuring the contestants.
My (current) favorite cocktail to drink while enjoying the madness that is the Bachelor is the French 75. Here’s the recipe: http://districtandmore.wordpress.com/2014/01/12/french-75-cocktail/

cara, you’re right. i always notice that they said “have a great date!” and get excited for each other. it’s surprising and kind of refreshing.

Holy mama, I need to start watching this show. I’m thinking that not allowing them to read books or watch tv is (obviously) forcing them to interact with each other. Which inevitably leads to the cat fights, lying, and general competitiveness of the show. Kinda like the Real World

Someone said something interesting to me about the Bachelor. I said that this season the women seem to be really nice and genuinely looking out for each other’s feelings, etc. She then said that they really aren’t competing against each other, if you think about it. No one really knows what JP’s “type” is. You may just not be his type, but that isn’t a reason to go all crazy betch on everyone else. Therefore, they have no reason to hate each other. Interesting point.

yes! just found an interview with an old contestant:

4. You have zero contact with the outside world. Zero.
“None—absolutely none,” Hughes said, when asked about the level of privacy contestants have with the “outside world.” When entering the Bachelor mansion, the women are stripped of their cellphones, computers, magazines, music, and even books. “The only things I was allowed to keep were my journal and my Bible,” said Hughes. “We have nothing. We are completely cut off from the world. We have to talk to each other—we have nothing else to do.”

I have never admitted this in public before, but I love Survivor. This article made me feel less embarrassed about that. Thank you!

That is insane that they can’t even read books! magazines? blogs? Newspapers? ANYTHING? I feel like that in itself is taking away a part of what makes someone who they are.

anna, me too. it’s so crazy. i don’t *think* they’re allowed to really do anything other than wait around…but i’m not 100% sure. going to look into it! the show is fascinating.

great minds, amber!! :)

They can’t read books?! I watch the show but out of pure fascination with the entire situation.

“I’ve always believed that if you’re truly in love with someone, you shouldn’t be able to answer the question ‘What do you love about him?’ with any kind of real satisfaction.”

That completely blew my mind. And it’s so true. I’d have to say the quality I love most in my boyfriend is that he’s always working to be better: in his career, in our relationship, as a person emotionally and spiritually. I’d never, ever know that about him if we’d met on some bizarro show (a show that I love!) like The Bachelor.