1. i am single but the interesting fact about the name of husband is that in India not a single woman and man dares to call each other with their names.

    Engagement rings design your own

  2. Oh, I’d take his any day (if we were to marry). Mine is _the_ most common in Sweden and matched with my two first names also being the most common in Sweden taking his surname would make me feel just a little less ordinary. :-D

  3. I took my husband’s last name and changed from McCarthy to Kunio. I really wrestled with the decision, it just felt weird to part with my name…it felt like who I was. After I made the choice though, I have never regretted it. I am actually really glad I changed it. It just feels so romantic to have the same last name, and now we feel like a real family (not that we wouldn’t be a real family with different names). Plus, I still feel like me, even though my name is different…and I will always be a McCarthy at heart! :)

  4. I plan on taking his. I like my last name, but his isn’t bad. And we can’t hyphenate, because then it’d be Sanner-Risch, which would make me sound like I’m only Sanner-ish. Not fully myself and not fully married. Maybe we’ll hyphenate the kids as a lil’ joke?

  5. I’m probably late in joining the conversation…but I took my husbands name. I like tradition, but I also feel like it unifies us on top of the promises we made to eachother on our wedding day.

  6. Anonymous says...

    Back to at least my great-grandparents, the women in my family have all replaced their middle names with their maiden names and taken their husband’s surname. I’d guess that it’s a Southern thing, but my Russian immigrant great-grandmother did it too (and in Connecticut, at that).

    I think there are personal traditions, and it’s not all black and white as far as keeping your identity goes. Yes, I took my husband’s family name, but I also followed the tradition of the women in my family, so I’m keeping good company.

    Also, I do love my husband’s last name. They’re a small family, and it makes me feel wifey and in-the mix. It also helps that his name is the word for a rad mythological beast. I have stencilled our front door with a picture of this mythological beast instead of with a nameplate. I’m a lucky lady!

  7. Anonymous says...

    Well my fiance and I are continuing to have this conversation. He wants me to take his name only. I would like to hyphenate my name. My initals will be exactly the same but I have a daughter from a previous relationship and I want her to have a sense of belonging with me and my new husband. Also for work it is my original name on all of my official certifications, emails, etc. I like my soon to be new name but it will sound great hyphenated. I will forever be Mrs. Carter with a little of my original flavor slightly before it.

    Soon to be,

    Mrs. Clarkson-Carter : )

  8. When I got married I took my husband’s name. I wasn’t sure but when he explained why he wanted me to take his name, I knew I wanted to go the traditional route. He explained that his last name is the only thing that he can give to just me and no one else. I thought that was so sweet and happily made the change with no regrets!

  9. No, I’m not taking Steven’s last name. I am even considering my last name or a hyphenated last name for our future children, maybe you could poll to ask what people are naming their kiddos?!

  10. someone in the comments mentioned that they were surprised by the amount of people who took their husband’s names- i am too!
    it was never even an option for me- i always knew i would keep my name and i guess i always figured that the right man for me would totally get that. luckily i was right! also, we don’t want to have kids so i think that makes it so much more simple.

    what i find interesting is when some people say that they took their husband’s name because they wanted to become one family and start anew. but isn’t that just becoming part of his family and not starting anew? not trying to be judgemental, but i don’t get that.

  11. i have a weird name (Hibbert-Hingston) and an on/off relationship with it. it’s impractical, but also beautiful. i like the uniqueness but having to spell it is a pain. i sort of like the idea of making up a new name with your beloved when you get married…to put your own stamp on just the two of you. but i think people would find it annoying

  12. HE took MY last name!

    I really didn’t want to change my name but it was very important to him that we share a name. Despite the odd looks it totally works for us and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

  13. MK says...

    I’m keeping my name. I told my fiance if he really wanted me to have his name, I’d seriously think about changing it, but he said he honestly wasn’t bothered. Thankfully, he is more than fine with it. He said he always wondered why women had to change their names. :) I have had a few negative comments about my decision though.

    The thing is that I’ve been through one marriage where I changed my name and I always regretted it. I felt like I lost my identity. Now that I’ve got my maiden name back, I’m not giving it up again!

  14. I kept my last name but not after a ton of deliberation. I was going to just use my last name for work and do a non hyphenated double barrel last name (two last names with a space). But in the state of New York you have to hyphenate so I just kept my own. When we have kids I still might change it – it’s such a hard decision!

  15. my husband took mine, his last name was Andersen…;-)

  16. Karen says...

    The question “Will you or did you take your husbands last name?” surprises/irritates me a little as it implicates that every woman wants to marry a man or has the chance/choice to do so.

    I have been with my partner for 5 years, we are mostly very happy. We have a daughter, two dogs and own property togehther. We hope to be together for many more years. We don´t feel we need to marry, it is just not important to us (we do not mind other people doing so and happily visit weddings of friends or relatives!).

    I have some friends who maybe would like to marry, but they are single. Or their partner doesn´t want to marry. Marriage is nothing that naturally happens to people. It has a lot to do with good luck and personal choice.

    Others female friends of mine don´t want a husband, they would want a wife. You don´t seem to consider the fact that not everyone shares your goals.

    Sorry, I do not want to sound rude, but in my periphery marriage is not a natural thing, it is not considered a “must”. Lots of people I know do not really consider it. I am 34 years old, half German/half French and am living in Copenhagen with my Swiss boyfriend. We also have some American friends and I know that having a wedding and beeing married is very important to many woman in the US. I do not object to this, but it annoys me when this way of living is regarded as the one and only option!

  17. I kept my name; some people refer to me by his last name, and that mostly doesn’t matter. Some people refer to him by my lastname, and that mostly doesn’t matter, either.

    Our friends tend to use a smushname to refer to us — the first syllable of my husband’s surname and the last of my surname.

    Our son has a double surname, which so far only confuses family — most of them drop the first part of his surname, and some of them hyphenate it. (Government entities have all gotten it correct so far.)

  18. I personally can’t wait to take my husband’s name, whatever it will be, whenever the day comes that I find him :)

  19. In June I will be doing what my mom did. Remove the middle name, shift my maiden to the middle and take my husband’s last name. I love the idea of it all.

  20. I told my partner that I would hyphenate my name if he would hyphenate his. He has agreed to that. I think it makes a nice compromise because I want to feel like a family and share names but I also absolutely refuse to give up my identity and my own familial heritage. I love my name!

    His family is none too happy about our compromise, however. I wonder how others have dealt with that? Especially as I am seeing that I am not the only one with the dual hyphenation idea.

  21. I enjoy reading everyone’s thoughts because I’m still working on this name change game. My sister-in-law to be made her maiden name her middle name which is so cool, except my middle name has much meaning to me. I believe I will take his last name, yet keep mine professionally. And our children will have my maiden name as their middle name per Filipino tradition (his culture). I think. ??

  22. Love that, Tae!

  23. I did change! Even though I loved my old initials (MMM). I also debated over what my middle name should be–middle name or maiden name. I felt like I was going to disappoint my dad or make him sad if I just cut his name out of mine as if it had never existed. But in the end, my middle name just flowed better with my new last name, so I took the plunge and it worked out just fine. And it was so fun the first time we were out to eat to put my name in as “Fischer” when asked. :)

  24. I took his. You don’t want to know what my name used to be!

  25. My last name is Savoie and I’ve always loved it. For that reason I would not take his. Probably sounds shallow and a-political but I’m a designer. I love good aesthetics and my last name is way prettier than his.

  26. I’m taking his last name. I can’t wait to be Mrs. Oda (Japanese) plus I don’t really like my own last name anyway …lol

  27. After much deliberation, I took my husband’s name because I was young and not established professionally yet. For me it was a choice between my husband’s name or my father’s name. As much as I love my father, I didn’t feel it was more feminist of me to keep his name, so I made the choice and chose my husband’s name because he is my family now. I plan to use my maiden name as part of my future child’s name.

  28. I took his and he took mine, so we both have 2 last names. It’s sweet. :)

  29. I have always gone by my middle name, so when I got married I dropped my first name and made my maiden name my middle name. My father passed away 13 years ago and I didn’t want to lose that connection to him and the rest of my family, but I still wanted my husband’s name which is very unique. It was the perfect solution for me.

  30. I had originally planned to drop my surname completely because I grew up without my father. There was a moment at the Social Security office, after telling the worker to drop my surname, where I felt suddenly that I would lose my identity and also abandon my little half sister with what we had previously considered a somewhat tainted surname.

    So at the last minute I changed my mind and asked the social security worker to drop my middle name. I kept my surname as my new middle name and took my husband’s last name because it’s adorable – Maples.

    I’m very happy with my new name because it reflects my original identity as well as my new identity as a member of a new family that my husband and I will create.

  31. If he has a nice last name and it meshes will with my first name I’ll probably take it! I don’t really know yet. I’ll know when I meet the guy. Lol.

  32. Joanna,
    I have to ask, what kind of wedding band did you choose? You seem so stylish :)

    ~ Eliza

  33. I kept my last name. I told my husband that if he wants us to share a last name, he should take mine! Or, be totally unique and combine our last names to make a whole new family last name! He thinks I’m crazy…I say I’m unique!

  34. i took my husband’s last name…his is way easier to spell than my maiden name too, ha! i really thought about it 8 years ago when we got married… and actually didn’t LEGALLY change my last name until our 6th wedding anniversary. now that i have a little one – i’m so happy i did take his name so we all have the same name.

  35. i just got married last saturday and i am most definitely keeping my name! it just doesn’t seem right to me that a woman is expected to make such a drastic change and a man isn’t.

  36. I’m getting married this weekend (EEEK) and I’m taking his name, which is Kennedy. I think Kennedy is a great, classic name, and goes well with so many baby names! I wouldn’t take it if I didn’t like it, though.

  37. I hyphenated my last name with his first. I was pretty adamant that our future family have this same hyphenated name, so he’ll be the odd one out! Most people think it’s odd that I put his name first, but I just liked the sound of it better, and this way at least our last names start the same… To each her own! There’s no RIGHT way to do it.

  38. I was all about keeping my last name until someone called me Mrs. Najjar… and then I decided that was who I was! I also think I am amused by the idea of an Irish girl with red hair and freckles having a Middle Eastern last name :)

  39. You can see that my bloogger sign-in is, kate so. My husband’s last name is Smucker, mine is Oates. I like the way “SO” sounds. But really since we haven’t changed it legally going by Smucker-Oates was a little too confusing for folks. So, (no pun intended) we stick to our individual last names. However, we are expecting our first child and we plan on naming the little one Smucker-Oates. Curious, what did you do for Toby?

  40. Also, Anonymous, I would like to stand up and salute you! Rarely do I hear a woman express so succinctly and so eloquently the case for keeping one’s own name. Bravo!!!!!

  41. I am a newlywed and am taking some time to decide what I’d like to do. This is a very difficult, very personal decision–and in giving up my name, I feel as if I’m also giving up a piece of my identity.

    My husband has suggested that we both change our middle names to my last name, and then I take his.

    I’m a feminist, and so I like this bit of compromise.

    Also… let’s ask ourselves… if a woman decides to keep her last name, why on Earth is it assumed her children will carry a man’s last name? Isn’t her name just as worthy?

    It’s important for women, for everyone, to remember that our decisions (as subjective as they may seem) have quiet, but powerful consequences.

  42. I am mostly known by my last name – to the point that some acquaintances don’t know that I have a first name. It would definitely be difficult to give up my last name which has not only been a nickname, and my only name for such a long time, but to give up the part of my being and part of my heritage that reside in the name.

    I might have to keep it. Or at least rename one of my kids with my then maiden name…

  43. I am a bit too proud of my polish heritage to take his last name… I feel like I’ll lose that fun identifier. When we had the discussion about it though, he didn’t understand why, if I don’t need to keep my name due to having professionally established myself. I might surprise him and hyphenate when the time comes, but I’m still up in the air.

  44. I took my husband’s last name….when we got married just 2 weeks ago! I understand when people keep their maiden names for various reasons but I wanted to do that for him, like it sealed the deal even more. I know, a little old fashioned but I like it. Sarah Ervin, my new name, doesnt quite flow as well as Sarah Lewis and you get the occasional (or quite often) mistake or Erwin or Irwin or Irvine….but if that is what I have to put up with then so be it! haha.

  45. Anonymous says...

    I would never, ever, take my husband’s name. It’s just a continuation of patriarchal rules that position women one step behind or under men. If we are partners in life, we are in equal conditions, and we share the same rights and responsibilities. Either we both change our family name to a totally random, unrelated one, or neither changes it. In Spain everyone has two family names: first the dad’s, then the mum’s. When they turn 18 they can switch the order and put the mum’s first, so it will be the one their children inherit in turn. I think that’s a good solution.

  46. I will definately keep my last name. It is a very unusual spelling of the name and there are not a lot of boys in the extended family to pass it on. Plus, I love my name.
    I may consider double barrelling with my boys name if he behaves!! :)

  47. I’ve took my husband’s last name. Lots of people takes husband name in Turkey. I think it is ok, not a big deal..

  48. I took my husband’s name. After a life-long struggle with getting people to pronounce my name correctly, I’m thrilled to have a name everyone can say – and spell! Plus, I suppose I’m also a little old fashioned.

  49. I go by my name with his added to the end. My maiden name is my middle name now…

  50. I took my husbands name “Machniak” because it reminds me of him , every time I see it. Its funny though, my maiden name ” Boyer” has always been a nickname of sorts, with him and old friends. Kind of like “marrying” both names, I guess.

  51. Anonymous says...

    I kept my maiden name. Most of my friends have also kept their maiden names. Maybe because most of us married later – over 30? Or because I live in an urban area? Taking my husbands name would seem too old fashioned to me. More importantly, I existed as an individual before I got married and continue to do so now – to change my name would feel to me too much like a rejection of my individual self.

  52. i plan on taking his last name even though it is hard to pronounce! i want it to be our last name! :)
    plus, my parents are divorced so i’m not completely attached to my last name. don’t you think that makes a difference?

  53. I too moved my maiden name to a second middle and took his last name. Leaving me with 4!

    He was willing to change his to mine if that was what I wanted.

    I want to have the same last name as my children and being in the military, hyphenating wasn’t for me.

  54. I love this ring. Hopefully my future husband is this creative!

  55. I took my husband’s last name – anything to escape my family name. Too many bad memories and associations.

  56. Lo says...

    Hi Joanna,

    I didn’t take my husband’s name. My family is the only one in Canada with my last name, so I felt like keeping it alive. We also gave my last name to my daughter when she was born last year for the same reason!

  57. I took Paul’s last name! I love the tradition of it, and I felt like it really sealed us as a new family.

    Plus, my family somehow lost track of our roots, and now I have a perfectly Polish last name. My old last name was Cazee and people were always asking me where my family was from and I had to kick the ground and say ohhh, no one knows, really.

    I’m thinking of just claiming I’m Polish as well? We had to tell Paul’s grandfather that I was in order for him to approve!

  58. I always love your wedding ring finds. SO different and unique. Thanks for sharing!

    -Morgan (Blackbird Fly)
    Blackbird FLy

  59. Love that ring. I took my husband’s last name. My maiden name was Wiener, so it was sort of a no brainer!

  60. I know it sounds silly, but I’m attached to my last name. I feel like my name – including my last one – is a part of my identity. So, if/when I ever get married, I will be keeping my last name.

  61. Hi, Joanna,

    As someone else noted, just a friendly reminder that not all of your readers are straight women!

    My partner and I aren’t engaged, but when we do get married, we’ve talked about both taking a completely different last name. We’ll probably use my dad’s first name as our new surname, since he died while I was in college and this feels like a nice way to continue to honor his memory.

    Neither of us wanted to take someone else’s last name or hyphenate and like the idea of taking on something new that would join us together as a family. Even though the new name would still be part of my dad’s, we feel like it’s more about honoring family in general than doing something because of tradition.

    Since my partner is fairly established professionally, she’ll continue to use her maiden name professionally, but we’d both legally add those on to our current middle names.

    Hope you’re having a fantastic weekend!

  62. I hyphenated my name when I married three years ago. I didn’t even ask my husband what he thought about it, I just did it and I’m glad I did. It’s a part of who I am.


  63. I automatically took my husband’s last name, it was no question, but since Russians have their father’s name as their middle name, I keep a part of my ‘old’ family forever :)
    xx Lara

  64. So very many comments! I’m sure you will have lost interest by now, but we both took each other’s names – we’re now Sarah and John Myname-Hisname. I was attached to my own name, but wanted all of us to have the same name. I suggested it, he liked the idea and we did it!

  65. I kept my name (sinle one) just because it´s my identity, I don´t think I love him more just for having his last name. Our daughter have, and this is what make more sense to me. ;)

  66. I kept my last name because eventhough it’s a weird sounding name that no one can pronounce it is MY
    name and it is part of who I am.
    I never expected the controversy and issues this would cause with our families and even with friends! It’s ridiculous how it is just assumed that I would change my name but it is pretty obnoxious when people who have straight out asked me whether I changed my name insist on calling me by my hb’s last name anyway just because they believe that’s how it should be!
    My husband is very supportive of my choice and is usually wonderful at letting his family and some friends that they are being rude when they insist on calling me by his last name rather than my own.

  67. I kept my last name – and my husband wanted me to do so as well – my last name has a history and it’s unique, besides, his mom also kept her maiden name, so it was very natural.
    We had an agreement that the first-born will take my husband’s last name, but our second child would take mine. Now I am pregnant. With twins. So, it sounds strange to give them two different last names, doesn’t it? I think we’ll go with his. And if we ever dare to try having more children – we’ll think then about last names again.
    The ring is LOVELY!

  68. Anonymous says...

    Guess my mom and dad were early feminists – I have a hyphenated last name – its stupidly long (as my brother says: it’s not a name; it’s a sentence) but it is meaningful. I really appreciate my parents choice to keep their own last names. I understand why one would want to have the same last name as their child but my brother and I never felt disconnected from either parents because their names only matched half of our own (and they are still married and very much in love even though their own names don’t match!) I’m not sure what I’ll do with my own kids – double hyphenates are messy! – but I appeciate my parents’ sentiment that women should not take on their husbands names – we are not their property and their names and identities should not trump our own!

  69. i think, whenever i meet that guy, i will take his name. i’m the ol’ traditional type in that sense i guess?
    we’ll see. if it’s a horrible last name, maybe i’ll reconsider! haha.
    happy weekend! xo.

  70. We aren’t married yet after 16 years and three children. So we decided to hyphenate our children’s name and do talk about getting married…When we do I’ll keep my surname but on the occaision it is called for will refer to myself as Mrs ….

  71. I was young when we married and not particularly attached to my family name. I was very much into women keeping their name if they felt it, but at 22, I didn’t feel the need. I didn’t know who I was yet to be attached to a name. But, should I every get divorced, I think I’d keep my married name. Now I’ve had it so long it’s my name too. My mom kept her married name (27 years) after her divorce) because she felt more attachment to it than her family name.

    I tend to think women who have established themselves in careers as their name–people know them by their name–should keep their name. It’s like a brand or something. I know that sounds a bit businessy, but in many ways our names are our brands.

  72. I kept my name and he kept his.

    It’s easier to deal with professionally and I’ve also just never known myself as any other name.

    I don’t mind Nadia Benbow though. I just Nadia Payan better. :)

  73. I’m getting married in June and I’m still confused on what I want to do. I’m leaning towards keeping my last name because well…. it’s just awesome. And my dad died, so I’d like to keep some sort of link to him. It’s been part of my identity for my whole life. Why should I get rid of it because of some tradition?
    But then I like the idea of having a family name and it’s sort of romantic to think about taking your husband’s last name.
    It’s kinda funny. His family doens’t really care what I do, but my family is appalled at the idea of me keeping my last name.
    And you keep putting up gorgeous rings that in no way match my engagement ring, which is very frustrating.

  74. I understand wanting to have the whole family having the same last name, but at the same time, why do *girls* have to be the ones to change their last name to match? Why don’t the boys change theirs for us? I’m no fan of tradition and doing things because it’s “what is done”; but I do think that in Iceland, they have the most interesting naming convention which is perfect for genealogical reasons: Everyone is named after their father with the word “son” or “dottir” part of it at the end. So if your dad is named “Peter” and you’re a girl, your last name would be “Petersdottir” and a boy would be “Peterson”. So when you get married you keep your last name (girls!) and the only people with the same last name would be sisters or brothers.

  75. Anonymous says...

    My husband took my last name. It was important to us to have the same name but he didn’t have a strong connection to his (and it was always mispronounced anyway). We had considered making up our own but to my surprise one day he asked me if he could take mine. I loved the idea. The reaction from family and friends was mixed. Some loved it and saw it as a wonderful gesture by my husband. Others didn’t understand it. We love being a mr. and mrs. and we love our unconventional ways!

  76. If I marry my boyfriend, I’ll definitely take his name – Elizabeth O’Wheel sounds awesome.

    I love the story behind his family name too – when his mum was young, she and a group of friends rode bikes around the world. When they reached home, some of the people on the trip changed their name to O’Wheel in memory of the trip!

  77. J says...

    I kept my name. I’ve always been me, and I just couldn’t imagine starting over with a new name. I didn’t see the point, really. Do our names really have to match?

    I’ve been surprised by many of my friends and cousins who’ve kept their names, then given their babies just their husbands’ names. For the baby we have on the way, we’re planning to hyphenate. It helps that my husband’s name is one syllable and both our names start with M, so it’ll be alliterative :) Though that does mean we can’t name the baby anything that begins with an M!

  78. I hyphenated. People seem to be confused by it but I love my new last name, it sounds very formal in a weird way that makes me happy.
    The only problem is, I can’t figure out what my monogram should look like. Anyone out there have a suggestion?

  79. My husband is irish and I am Korean so I kept my last name (even though I do have freckles).

  80. I plan on taking his name. I look at it as starting a new life together as a unit and one family. Having the same last name seems to fit right in with that outlook. I do know many people that did not change their name or add their husbands name as part of their own. I think It comes down to a personal choice and what feels right to the individual person.

  81. My husband and I took a new created last name together, Makana, which means “gift” in Hawaiian. Branden, my husband, had recently gone through a Hawaiian naming ceremony to pick a Hawaiian middle name since all his sibling had one except for him. His tutu interviewed all his relatives to see what word best described him and the word “gift” kept coming up the most. When we decided to take a new last name together, Makana seemed the perfect choice since both our parents got married in Hawaii and because marriage is, of course, a gift! It was actually really important to me not to do the tradition of taking the man’s last name. In fact, it was so important to me that I figured I would never get married since that would be a condition. When I got engaged to Branden, we were totally on the same page. I think he was more sold on the idea than me! People call us progessive,but I predict this type of marriage name will be the norm in ten years:)

  82. I’m not married however I would likely change to my husband’s last name. My last name is not very eloquent so that I why I am open to change. :)

  83. I kept my last name. I think I’m the only one out of my friends that has, I’d like to think more and more people are straying away from the conventional traditions -glad you kept yours too!

  84. Hard one to decide! I kept mine but was on the fence for a while. Love reading so many different perspectives!

  85. Anonymous says...

    Hi Joanna,
    I’m a regular reader : ). I’m sure it would be so warmly appreciated by your queer readers if you acknowledged that not all love happens between a man and a woman. Something so simple like “Will you (or did you) take your husband or wife’s last name…” might make a world of difference to some of your regular readers.

  86. This comment has been removed by the author.

  87. I kept my last name, but our son’s has he’s first name and our 4 family names.

  88. I took my husband’s last name. I didn’t really even consider keeping my old one. I guess I always dreamed of having a different one, you know how when you are younger and you have a silly crush you always right your name and the boys last name secretly. Oh to be young[er].

  89. my husband and i both hyphenated our names. so now we both have mylastname-hislastname. it was fun going to get our names changed together and having to do the paperwork together. and our kids and us will all share the same last name, too!

  90. i made my maiden name my middle name. my sisters and i (4 of us) have all done that. i couldn’t part with it completely!!

  91. I just got married at the end of May and took my husbands last name. My new name is Jennifer Jones. Really, I just traded one Welsh last name for another ha (formerly Evans).

    I like the alliteration of my new name.

  92. I always wanted to have BOTH my husband and I change our names together. We got married in Feb, and for right now I have kept my last name and he has his because I don’t know what I want to do with it yet, and I want my hubs to be with me on this family journey. I keep asking myself these questions:

    -Why does a “Family Name” have to be only his?
    -Why can’t my children have both, instead of assuming they will only have his?
    -Why should I be incorrectly assumed to have taken his name and be called Mrs. HisLastName, but he is never called Mr. HerLastName?
    -If I add his name to mine, as a hyphen or whatnot, why wouldn’t he want to add mine to his? We add to each other’s lives, shouldn’t the names be a representation of that?

    I just feel like there’s a lot of inequality with the name thing, and I’m exercising my right to think about it. It’s a really sensitive issue for us, because we have a lot of angry family members upset with me that I didn’t just take his name and drop mine. :( I’m not against it, but I really want a compromise. Oh, and I’m an adult, and have to right to make decisions that I feel are best for me/my family. *le sigh*

  93. I added my husband’s name to the end of mine, didn’t hyphenate though. My maiden name is now one of my middle names. It’s a Filipino tradition thing. :)

  94. I’m taking my fiance’s name when we get married for three reasons. One – it’s part of the deal. Enough said. Two – there are enough Lee’s out there and changing my last name would make it one less Lee in the world. And lastly – because there’s something about taking his name that makes it feel more like “forever”… There’s something old world romantic about it just like saying the same vows as many have done before us. It’s like joining this elite group of people… sound stupid?

  95. I kept mine. After my mother-in-law heard my plans, she took me out to dinner and, halfway through a large glass of wine, started talking about how good their family was, how great of a husband and provider her son would be . . . on and on. I am stubborn, though, and my husband is totally on board with my decision. I’m just really attached to my name and heritage, and kids are a long way off so I’m not worried about their names yet.

    Some people are confused when we introduce ourselves, but I’m sure as more women choose to keep their name, for whatever reason, people will start to see it as a just as good of a decision as changing your name. For now, though, it’s a little difficult, but I’m still very glad I did it!

  96. I took his without hesitation. I like the feeling of being on the same team. He would have happily taken my last name but we both preferred his and I had a brother to carry on our family name anyhow. I’m a teacher with lots of students who resent their hyphenated names. I’ll ask if i should put both names on their materials or one name. 90% of the time they say they hate having two. Sad =(

  97. Manuela says...

    It’s interesting to see how different cultures work. In Argentina, my country, women used to add their husband’s last name using “de” (meaning “of”) after their maiden name. It seems like you’re his property, very macho-ist! Anyways,since the 70’s or so, women are using just their maiden name. Divorce and women’s independence are the main factors I think. Besides, many women are adding their last name to their children, as they gave birth to them (harder work than putting a spermatozoid, right?).
    One more thing, we would never think of doing a lot of paperwork for changing names, putting your maiden’s as middle, and all that stuff. But, like I said, it’s just how different cultures work. Bon week-end!

  98. I kept my last name… I have no siblings and my last name ends with ME! So yes I kept it!

  99. I like my name but I wouldn’t change it on point of principle anyway, I think it is nice for children to share the same name as their parents but I have yet to meet or hear of a man who took his wife’s name. Actually I’m gonna google that now!

  100. I was hesitant to change my name, and kind of regret it. I prefer my maiden name to my husband’s last name, and I very much dislike my father in law – I don’t like that my name associates me with him. When I introduce myself to peopel in our shared communities, they take the cue from my married name and talk about how they know my father in law, instead of asking after my own parents. I hate having a different name to my parents and siblings. BUT, when push came to shove, I knew that when we had children I would want all of us to have the same name. I wish I had added my maiden name as a second middle name, and will probably make that change.

  101. Cate says...

    My husband and I both changed our names- we hyphenated both our surnames because I didn’t want to give up my maiden name but we wanted to have a shared family name. It’s long, but it works for us.

  102. i took my husbands name. i felt it was part of being his wife – showing that i am proud to wear his name – even though his cousin warned me that i might get asked if i speak english in job interviews (he is chinese and i am european-new zealander) but i see the use of your old surname being your ‘stage name’

  103. Anonymous says...

    I kept my last name. I got married at 34 and I felt like everyone knew me workwise and socially by my original name. My children have my husband’s surname and mine as a middle name.

  104. I won’t, I use my maiden name for my business and my boyfriends last name is Chew, which I’m not crazy about, (but I am crazy about him)!! Plus, neither of us our very traditional and he’s not bothered about these things.

  105. Anonymous says...

    I added my last name to my middle and then took his last (like Jane (middle-Ann Doe) Smith). I like it. No hyphens, matching last names for kids, but I still have the family history attached to my name.

  106. I did take my husband’s last name — there was never a moment that i thought i wouldnt. To be quite honest, i didnt even think about. It was normal to me — my mom took my dad’s 22 years ago today, and that’s how I was raised. I guess I’m a little old-fashioned, and that’s okay withe me :)

  107. Erica S says...

    Obsessed with this ring after seeing it in Lucky Mag! It’s going to be my first-paycheck splurge.. after I get a job, of course.

  108. I kept mine – it was never even a question, and my husband is quite happy with that!

    If we had kids I’d probably be happy for them to have his name for ease, I don’t like double-barrelled names, my own full last name is already 3 words! :D

    Though we have a joke that we’d combine the two names to make a new one ;D

    I do admit I get a giggle when older folk write to us and address us both by his name!

  109. I clicked on the comments expecting to see a split down the middle of keeping / changing last names. How interesting that the general consensus seems very slanted in favor of name-changing.

    My mother kept her maiden name and I was given my father’s last name.
    I would never take my boyfriend’s last name (mine [Emerson] is SO much better – I’m a descendant of Emerson the writer and I love that this relationship is implied in my name.)

    I don’t think we’d worry too much about having “a family name” if children came along… I didn’t have the same name as my mother growing up and it never affected our relationship or my bond to her.

  110. I just took my husband’s name a few months ago and completely threw mine out! Partly because it was one of the most common last names around. And I love the way Morgan Donovan sounds :)

  111. i took my husbands name. (we just got married in July!!) its what all the other women in my family have done. and i loved the idea of being Mrs. Peacock like in the game Clue! but we actually had a discussion about it before we got married, and he was surprised by my choice because i was and still am a very strong and independent type of woman.

  112. Kept mine added his.

  113. I am getting married TOMORROW (one last check of the internets before bed) and I am not changing my name. My mother didn’t change her last name, and so it never seemed like something I had to do. And I love my last name; it’s very French. :)

    Alright. Beauty sleep.

  114. Ooh love the ring!

    I ended up taking my husband’s name after a lot of deliberation. It took a bit of getting used to (when you’ve had your name for 30 years, it tends to stick!) but I quite like how my name sounds with his name now.

  115. I’m getting married next year and i plan on hyphenating. I was going to just keep my name but my fiance really wanted me to take his. So i decided hyphenating would be a compromise. Our kids will just take his name though, my last name may serve as a middle name that they all share.

  116. Libby says...

    My boyfriend’s parents are divorced, and I love both of them equally, so it would seem not right to take his last name (which is his father’s) out of respect (though I doubt his mom would care). I love my last name as it shows my German heritage and it is how I’ve come to identify myself all my life

  117. I took my husbands name for many reasons. I am old fashion and I loved the idea of being Mrs. Fields. And Fields is easier to pronounce than my maiden name.

  118. Tonia says...

    After much internal debate I took my husband’s name. I had several reasons for wanting to keep my maiden name. I had just finished law school and didn’t want to lose the connections I had made with my classmates. My husband also has the same last name as a popular movie family and the jokes people make are annoying. I felt it was sexist that only women were expected to change their names.

    In the end though there were two things that swayed me to take my husband’s name. First, even though I felt like the name was mine, it was in fact my father’s and we are estranged. It felt wrong to me to choose a name given by a person who had dropped out of my life at an early age over the person I planned to spend the rest of my life with. Second, I wanted to have the same name as future children if there were any. My mother remarried and I always despised having a different last name from her.

    In the end, I dropped my middle name that I had a love/hate relationship with and took my maiden name as my new middle name. I used my full name for about a year or so and then at some point I just kind of stopped using my full name on everything. Now I pretty much only use it on legal documents. We celebrate our 10th anniversary next month and now it’s my name and feels just as much a part of me as my maiden name ever did.

  119. I couldn’t wait to take my husbands name! I only wish I could have taken sooner! And I believe it is another form of “becoming one” with your husband.

  120. I kept my last name and it drives my husband bonkers. We have never been traditional in any other way, so I’m surprised he cares. The thought of all the paperwork needed to change it…ugh.

  121. I took my husband’s name. I had a very happy upbringing and him not so much. It meant a lot to him that I changed my name and thus we began our own family history, it was very significant to him. It was my wedding gift to him. My dad (the original feminist) was horrified but being a softie understood why I was doing it for my husband. It was done with lots of love and I have never regretted it.

  122. Took his last name…and wrote a poem about the changing of names when you marry!! ^_^

  123. Anonymous says...

    I’m glad to see that a few people have mentioned the option of the man taking the woman’s name. When my son married 2 years ago, he decided to take his wife’s name. Our last name was spelled and pronounced incorrectly by everyone. They really did not want the hassles of having hyphenated names. They also wanted to have the same last name for all members of their family and my DIL has a beautiful last name (she is from Ecuador). There are many traditions when it comes to marriage and if we researched how many of those traditions came about, it isn’t very positive. Much of it goes back to when women were considered to be property or 2nd class citizens. I am proud of my Son for having the courage to make this decision – he has had to endure a lot of criticism. He adores his wife and child and is a wonderful husband and father. That is infinitely more important than a name. I think it boils down to the fact that this is a personal decision and everyone needs to decide what is best for them. If you chose something out of the norm, it is not wrong…just different.

  124. My last name is Hooker, so needless to say, I’ve been waiting a LONG time to rid of it… and now that the time is approaching I’m not so sure anymore. Although Natalie Adams is kinda cute, you should hear it said by someone with a thick MI accent. Damn those hard A’s.

  125. Thank you for all of you who posted this! Now I can share this with my Hubby and assure him that I’m NOT crazy for keeping my name! :D

  126. P.S. I took my husband’s name as I am traditional. I also liked the idea of us both sharing the same name as we began a new family. :)

  127. I actually wanted to take my husband’s last name; I love him to bits and I liked the bond that it signified. Then, a month before we married, some Czech archivists managed to find me online – and I think my very rare last name has something to do with it. Alas, I am going into academia and publishing, and having a unique name can be helpful that way.

    love the signet idea! I actually went with one of kate szabone’s rings and suggested we create a stack of them in the years to come, as it wasn’t a huge investment to start =)

  128. In response to what Kate said:
    “For those of you who changed for personal and kept your maiden for professional, can you explain to me how that works legally? Is your maiden name still in your legal name with social security? If it’s not, how do you legally sign documents and what not for work? What about ID? I didn’t change mine, but I’d thought about this combination and just didn’t know how it would work legally.”

    My family belongs to a conservative religion and tradition is upheld without question. So, I knew it was a pointless effort to attempt to have people call me by maiden name. Almost everyone thinks that I have changed my name within our larger circle of family/friends. Some family members know that I haven’t changed it legally, but all call me Mrs. Wessman. BUT, at work I am Mme Lacey (I’m a French teacher) and coworkers just call me Jillian anyway. For any signature on a legal document, I sign Jillian Lacey but on things that don’t matter, like signing letters, I sign Jillian Lacey Wessman to make the hubby happy. I’ve found it to be a good deal, none of the hassle of changing everything (I even have a brand new passport that I don’t wanna have to change) and I get to keep my identity.

  129. This is such a beautiful idea — LOVE it! I took my husband’s last name when we were married last September. This kind of ring would make a fantastic anniversary present… hint, hint hubby!

  130. Even though I’ve been married for 21 years now, I’ve thought the idea of a signet ring for a wedding ring is so romantic!

  131. I’m getting married in two weeks (!!) and my fiance I are both keeping our own names as well as taking the other’s- we’re both going to go hyphenated. I feel very attached to my name, and he feels the same with his, but we want to share the same name as our future children. I love that every couple does what suits them, and for us it feels more like a shared experience because we’ll both be taking on a ‘new’ name variation.

  132. Oh, what a beautiful idea and ring. I took my husbands name because I’m traditional, but I kept my maiden name as my middle name. I didn’t have one. Also, being Latina and having a name like Nancy Johnson just didn’t feel like me. I kept the Escobar as a sign of my heritage.

  133. I took my husband’s last name and kept mine as a middle name. I was inspired by Miss Hillary Rodham Clinton.

  134. I couldn’t imagine NOT keeping my name!!!! And all of my close pals have kept theirs. Interestingly, one rung out in my friend circle, lots of folks changed theirs.

    My Mom didn’t change her name in 1973 and trust me it was no problem to have a Mom and Dad with 2 different names. Everyone figures out super quickly who’s who!!

  135. In the process of taking my husbands last name. I love his last name ‘Lentini’ and considering that I am so white with very red hair and will now have a very Italian last name, I just love it!
    And our daughters name will actually be taken from my side of the family, so I think it is a beautiful joining of our families.

  136. Gorgeous!

    Actually, we BOTH took each other’s names. I took his (Hastings) and he took mine (Fujiki). We are officially “The Fujiki-Hastings”. Woot!