Relationships

How Are You Feeling Today?

flowers by Madeleine Johnson

My loves, how are you feeling? What a night! What a day! The 2020 presidential election is a true nail biter, with key states still counting votes. I’ve been glued to the New York Times homepage, with a few mental breaks to watch Schitt’s Creek or eat a hunk of cheese the size of my head.

I’d love to ask today, if you’re up for sharing: How are you feeling? What are you watching/reading/eating/doing? Is there anything that feels like a pick-me-up to you, during this intense wait?

squad

Some good news:
* The “squad” of four Democratic congresswomen (above) — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York, Ilhan Omar of Minnesota, Ayanna Pressley of Massachusetts and Rashida Tlaib of Michigan — all won re-election. (New York Times)
* Delaware Democrat Sarah McBride will become nation’s first-ever transgender state senator. (CNN)
* Mauree Turner won their election for state House in Oklahoma’s 88th district, making history as the first Muslim person elected to the state’s legislature AND the first openly non-binary person ever elected to a state legislature in the United States. (HuffPo, Victory Fund)
* Michele Rayner-Goolsby became Florida’s first openly queer Black woman state legislator. (Lily News)
* Cori Bush made history by becoming the first Black woman elected to Congress from Missouri. (Newsweek)

Sending everyone the biggest hugs today! Hang in there. Let’s chat below.

(Flower photo by Madeleine Johnson.)

  1. Martha Patterson says...

    Now that the race has been called, I am both elated and exhausted. I spent several Saturdays in October texting and phoning for several campaigns, and it feels really good to truly say…WE did it. Like many, I’m concerned about the transition…my almost 20 year old daughter suggested we remove our rainbow doormat, so we don’t get targeted by the Proud Boys (!)…so excited about the glass ceiling that was shattered, and equally saddened that almost half of the population is comfortable voting for a white supremacist. Some of the excuses I’ve heard, when I question his behavior and their support…”He can’t be that bad, the press is just making him look that way” ” He’s done good for the economy” ..Really, how many millions of jobs have been lost? Others have mentioned too…the entitled idea that ” I’m OK, haven’t gotten sick, so there’s no problem.” Sigh. How I’ve coped….I’ve had NPR on most days while working, and classical music when the news is not on. Comfort foods…soup, mac and cheese, wine. Escaping into a good book…”Magic Lessons” by Alice Hoffman is marvelous!…and plenty of good drip coffee.

  2. roblynh says...

    Tuesday was hard… it was my daughter’s birthday and she is pregnant and revealed it’s a girl! Yay!! But, I’ll admit I was edgy all day and I believe it was the realization that a large part of the population is still so far away from a belief that we are all equally human beings with the same value. I just never dreamed my daughter and granddaughter what have to face the same battles and biases. I felt like a failure… 😢

  3. AVA says...

    It was interesting to read the many 100s of comments on this post. Many of the conservative comments appear to reinforce one of the fundamental tenets that divide both sides – conservatives seem to want a better life for themselves (and their immediate communities at most), whereas liberals seem to want a better, equitable life for everybody. An ‘I got mine’ attitude versus a ‘let’s strive to make society at large better’ attitude.

    In 2020 America, you cannot possibly align yourself with a racist/sexist/cheating/fraudulent/corrupt government that kindles hatred and violence, destroys the environment, and systemically strips away civil rights and liberties and call yourself a ‘good person’ with a straight face. The destruction of civil society is the cost of you wanting to pay fewer taxes (or wanting to pick your own dentist or whatever other excuse you have for voting for Trump), and that makes you incredibly, unbelievably selfish.

    • Katie says...

      Exactly.

    • Eloise says...

      I’d love to hear your comments on the Ben Shapiro podcast episode where he has Candace Owens on as a guest – from September 6.

    • Eva says...

      In my (more conservative) opinion, I don’t disagree with you that many conservatives want a better life for themselves, but I don’t think that means they don’t want a better society for all. It’s just that we may disagree in what a “better society” means and how to get there. I think a great society is one in which the economy is booming, nearly everyone is employed, and the government has less involvement in everyday life. The government should be the liaison for international relations, but shouldn’t have a large role in citizen matters. Isn’t that the whole point of the US? The people rule.
      I think a strong economy is the ideal— if everyone were employed and able to support their own needs, there wouldn’t be such a reliance on welfare and class divides wouldn’t be as drastic. Communities would be stronger as you wouldn’t have so many people on the streets and torn families.
      Anyway, point is, in my opinion the policies of the right align more with this ideal of a better society.

    • L. says...

      @Eva – As a fellow conservative, I think you hit the nail on the head.

    • mado says...

      To Eva: I’m really interested, is there a time in our history when we have had full employment without large government intervention?

      On another note, I’m sure you don’t agree with the sentiment of those sporting “fuck your feelings” signs, but it’s hard for me to believe they don’t just want theirs and for everyone else to get out of their way. I can’t imagine aligning myself with them no matter my beliefs about government.

  4. Caitlin says...

    just realized i have mindlessly opened the new york times in six tabs on my browser… which about sums it up.

  5. hm says...

    I have responded to several internal work emails this week with “I am experiencing low mental bandwidth today, but I look forward to responding thoughtfully next week.” No regrets.

    • Sage says...

      Wow, I want your job, haha.

  6. Lori says...

    I keep coming back to look at the comments too. I appreciate the variety.
    We are all complex, layered humans with vastly different life stories. Just because I voted for Biden doesn’t mean I’m any less patriotic than a Trump voter. And just because someone voted for a Trump administration doesn’t mean they are not a good decent person.

    • Meg says...

      A good, decent person in a person-to-person relationship and perhaps with good, decent intentions, who nonetheless upholds damaging systems of power in favor of a perception of personal security.

  7. Emily says...

    Friday morning, feeling like it’s Tuesday x4, and I feel like the start of Taylor Swift’s “Me” video, where she screams “JE SUIS CALME!!!” (“I am calm!!”)

    Trying to look calm on the outside, but I AM NOT CALM.

  8. Carol says...

    Watching with huge amounts of anxiety from Australia. Feeling terrible for my American friends whose rights and safety are at stake. Feeling worried for the world given the power of the US to influence climate change, peace, and economics. Feeling so disappointed that so many people chose not to reject blatant racism and bigotry, and how that will continue to embolden others in my country who feel the same. As a world, we have such a long way to go. Sending love to you all x

  9. M.R. says...

    I am a lifelong Democrat & my husband has been a lifelong (fiscally conservative) Republican until 2016 when he voted 3rd party. This year he did a first & voted Democrat/Biden. He feels the Republican party is no longer his party but really it was Trump that did it. At first, in 2015/2016, he thought Trump was funny & made some excellent political/financial points. But as the years have gone by, he feels like he’s increasingly erratic & not mentally stable (he follows him on Twitter). I’m slightly (only slightly) surprised more people didn’t come to this conclusion as well after 4 years of craziness. There seem to be numerous people here who don’t like Trump but voted for him anyway which blows me away. I get his base voting for him (side note: How did this seriously morally corrupt man become a guiding beacon for so many Christians?), but switching to vote for him this year?? From what I can see, it all comes down to money. And I’ll tell you, I love my husband just a little bit more after he chose humanity over money.

  10. Marisa says...

    I keep coming back to read so many thoughtful, devastating comments. I was sad and crushed. Now I find myself angry and in disbelief. While 1000+ Americans died lonely, horrible Covid deaths today…Trump continues to stomp his feet, stick his tongue out, and throw an epic temper tantrum. He is inciting chaos, creating distraction, and destabilizing our democracy. How can he be considered to be a patriot? Will any supporters or republicans be brave enough to speak up against this outrageous attack on our country?

    • Liz says...

      That is wonderful!! Thank you for sharing!

    • Amy Nguyen says...

      This is amazing! Thanks for sharing

    • pecanLoaf says...

      I love this so much!

  11. Alice says...

    Why are so many Americans so afraid of socialised healthcare? How many have actually experienced it? People living in the USA pay more and, in the majority, get nothing, or very little in return, it’s so mind boggling. Socialism simply means that the basic provision everybody needs to live in a functioning society e.g. Transport, education, healthcare are in part managed by the state, and in another large part the people that work within them at every level – the things you want are left free and subject to the ‘market’ just as they are now. Most countries, including the most stable and prosperous e.g. Germany have these supporting social structures. Fundamentals that let you get on with the business of living without worrying if your insurance will pay out, or indeed about filling in a single form whilst you undergo treatment…. I thought this chap explained it well:

    https://youtu.be/qSjGouBmo0M

    • Alice says...

      Again… Meant in reply to a thread below not as a standalone comment. Sheesh, time to sleep!

    • Lindsay says...

      My husband is a dentist and he really does not want it because he would make less money. A lot of the best Doctors would not be doing it if the money was not great. If medical school wasn’t so expensive and you didnt end up with tons of debt, then maybe a lower wage wouldnt be so bad. Canadians have to wait a long time to get their surgeries scheduled and they don’t get to CHOOSE who they see. I’d rather not have that. In Europe, I think its nice that everyone can feel comfortable and secure, but in America people have the capability to do much more and that is the American dream people come here for, that is why we have companies like Amazon that we all use daily…..we are not as limited, though we also are not as secure….

    • Elizabeth says...

      Lindsay, I don’t get to choose the doctor I go to – it is determined by the Insurance company. We also have to wait a long time for routine care and surgeries. Having our health care tied to our jobs through insurance as part of “benefits” is just not a good way to ensure a healthy society. Something has to change, because right now the insurance companies are in charge of our health. And as for profit businesses their main purpose is to increase share holders wealth.

    • Isabelle says...

      @ Lindsay – from the PHNP:

      “At the national level, single payer would cut about $504 billion annually in administrative costs. In other words, single payer works by cutting administrative waste and corporate profits, not doctor incomes. Overall, we estimate that average physician incomes would remain unchanged under Medicare for All. Some doctors, such as family physicians and pediatricians, might see a pay increase while others, such as highly-paid specialists, might see a slight pay cut. But “painful sacrifices” would not be required. Single-payer opponents will try to pit doctors against patients by claiming that universal coverage only works by cutting doctor incomes. That’s a false choice. The only winners in the current system are the insurance companies who profit by keeping more of our nation’s health care dollars for themselves. By moving to a single-payer program, doctors can finally get back to our calling: caring for patients.”

    • Deb says...

      Lindsay’s comment says it all really. “I get less if someone else gets more so to hell with everyone! Plus Amazon! Yay!”

      America is the oddest country. Who gives a shit who your doctor is if they fix you? You get to pick your dentist here and if you don’t like your doctor you can see a different one, and like I said, they fix you. Doctors and dentists still earn a decent living and no one goes bankrupt because they get cancer.

      Also, no one should be buying from Amazon if they can help it. The world’s richest man doesn’t need any more of your hard earned dollars.

    • Deb says...

      I feel bad because I didn’t address the loanspoint which makes total sense. The amount you guys pay for higher education is scandalous and of course you would want a high paying job in order to pay back those loans. Let’s fix that problem too :-)

    • Lisa says...

      I’m in the U.K. – we have the option of using the NHS or private. I use a mix of both, as we get quite good health insurance through my husband’s work. For dental, I use private but that’s just because I really like my dentist and the insurance covers pretty much everything. The NHS care is amazing – you can see the affect of years of underfunding by the current government, but still in terms of what is covered, it’s astounding and the staff are fabulous. And, frequently they care for both private and NHS patients. When having two children, the NHS has covered – IVF, all prenatal appointments with midwives and doctors, all my vaccinations, scans, blood tests, emergency c section, 2 night hospital stay, home visits by midwives and health visitors to check on me and the baby afterwards, regular weigh ins / check ups for the baby, vaccinations, lactation consultant, mental health support, and with my second a five night hospital stay for me (even though I could have been discharged after 2), 3 day stay in NICU for the baby and then 2 days on antenatal ward. I cannot imagine going through all the stress of a complicated birth and a baby in NICU as well as worrying how much it was going to cost and how I was going to pay.

      So you do get quality care and you have choice over where you go (if you want to pay for it).

    • Kath says...

      My sister was diagnosed with cancer a few months back, we didn’t get to choose who she saw so much as get directed to hospitals, etc, etc. she will now struggle throughout her life to afford insurance even w preexisting conditions protection because it is so eye wateringly expensive. she’s a teen so she is just gonna hope she never gets fired/miracles so excuse me if your arguments about dentist pay and canada don’t sway me.

    • Ker says...

      “My husband is a dentist and he really does not want it because he would make less money” –> I appreciate the honesty. But this seems like the definition of selfishness.

      “A lot of the best Doctors would not be doing it if the money was not great.” –> In all countries, no matter what health care payment system is in place, doctors are wealthy and highly respected. Med schools spots are in high demand. Making a bit less in the US would be, in my opinion, very good for the profession. It would attract people who want to do good (and be well compensated) but not those who are primarily driven by a desire to be rich. Our Canadian doctors make more than enough, and their skills are absolutely fine (as indicated by our excellent health outcomes). Perhaps a few money-driven brilliant people decided not to apply for med school in Canada because the average pay is “only” $300,000 a year. Good! They created space for a smart-enough person who cares about becoming a doctors for reasons beyond maximizing income. I want that doctor anyway.

      “Canadians have to wait a long time to get their surgeries scheduled”and they don’t get to CHOOSE who they see.” –> We wait based on the urgency of our situation. It’s not perfect. But lots of Americans wait forever for healthcare because of poverty. I’d prefer to wait an extra month for my knee surgery in exchange for someone who needs a more urgent surgery getting it done first. (Rather than kicking them to the back of the line because I have more money and want my surgery immediately.) We choose our family factors but it’s true that we generally don’t choose specialists. The myth of how bad Canadians have it (waiting for ages, dying in the hallways of hospitals) was literally created by an American insurance company agent: https://www.npr.org/2020/10/19/925354134/frame-canada

      In reality, the vast majority of Canadians love our single payer health care system. It costs less and results in better health outcomes.

      Ultimately, it appears that the current system gives Americans:
      – Extremely highly paid doctors and dentists.
      – Choice and immediacy for those who have money/a job with insurance.
      – Lots of money spent on an expensive insurance bureaucracy.
      – Low access and financial ruin for those who lack money/a job with insurance.

      Is this what conservatives in the US are okay with?

    • Ker says...

      Wow and you can forget what I wrote because Isabelle’s comment above (see: “@ Lindsay – from the PHNP”) shows that doctors won’t even make less anyway!

    • anon says...

      @Deb “America is the oddest country. Who gives a shit who your doctor is if they fix you? ”

      I give a shit. My daughter was having seizures and we got her brain scanned. I was given a copy of the scan immediately after her scan, took it home to wait for a follow up appointment the next day with the attending neurologist (default assignment). While we waited for the appointment, I sent some scans to my uncle, a retired doctor because we couldn’t wait. He explained what he saw, a cyst in the left temporal lobe.

      Went to the appointment the next day, and the neurologist hardly looked at us in the eye, kept referring to the cyst’s location as in the right temporal lobe, and we and nurse kept correcting him. Finally we looked at the scans , realized it was the left side, chastised his nurse and said out loud “You’re the one who told me it was the right.” and it was clear he hadn’t looked at them at all.

      We left that appointment pissed off, and immediately searched for a better neurologist. My *American type* insurance allowed me to switch from a crappy doctor a quick as I could research one and make an appointment to see, which was within the same week. So yeah, I care to be able to choose my doctors.

    • Marie says...

      The United States contributes far more to medical research than any other country in the world. This is a huge contribution to the world. I am getting really tired of hearing that Australia and Canada are better. Canadians also enjoy our health system.

    • Kara says...

      Standing ovation to these responses showing the reality of socialized medicine!

      Marie, are you trying to say that medical research in the US is funded by private insurance companies? That’s a real head scratcher. Try academic institutions, companies that fund their own, non-profits, and government funding instead.

    • Emilie says...

      As a Canadian let me make it clear that I can also choose my doctor, my dentist, my optometrist, etc. I’m not sure where the assumption comes from that there is no choice.

      I have no stake in the American debate here, but just trying to get the facts straight, as there is rampant misleading rhetoric around “socialized” health care in order to drum up fear (this election is making it very clear that politicians on the right paint anything left of them as “socialist” in order to capitalize off of the fear it creates for some, even when the left is very far from anything resembling actual socialism).

      There is a lot of clarifying information here:
      “On what single-payer means in Canada

      People often talk about so-called government run health care or socialized medicine — we don’t actually have that in Canada. What we have is a system where the insurance is paid for through a public plan. The services are paid for through general taxation, but the services are not delivered by government employees. [As] a family doctor, I am not an employee of the government. I deliver my services in a very similarly looking model to Americans physicians. But instead of billing a private insurance company or billing my patients directly, I simply bill the government plan.”
      (source: https://www.npr.org/2017/09/24/553336111/a-canadian-doctor-explains-how-her-countrys-single-payer-health-care-system-work)

      More detailed information can be found here:

      https://www.canada.ca/en/health-canada/services/health-care-system/reports-publications/health-care-system/canada.html

      It is flummoxing to extent to which healthcare remains such a fraught, mismanaged and contentious issue in the US, when virtually every other developed country have relatively successful public programs. I think you can demand and expect better from your government, be it republican or democrat. It is complex, but it is not rocket science.

      https://www.ephpp.ca/?doing_wp_cron=1604686543.9348111152648925781250

    • Julie says...

      @anon I am sorry you had that experience and glad you got to choose a better doctor. Here in the UK, with the NHS, you would absolutely be able to ask for a second opinion and to change doctors. You can even change trusts (so change hospital) if you wish and need to. I work in maternity and it is all about enabling choice for the women and we make it very clear to them. These things are not impossible with state-funded healthcare. I am so grateful to the NHS for keeping me and everyone else in the country fit and well (despite years of government cuts by our own Conservative government). I can also tell the other posters that doctors here are well-paid, and you have the option for private healthcare if you wish. But I’m not sure I could live without knowing that my family, neighbours, colleagues and strangers had access to emergency healthcare and everything else. I have 2 chronic health conditions and I get all my daily medications for £100 a year – with all the care ‘free’ (paid for happily via me and everyone in tax which does not feel extortionate). I’m trying to empathise with your concerns but it’s so hard when I am so so grateful for the system we have here.

    • Julie says...

      Just to add a genuine question – how do you trust private healthcare? In that they aren’t offering you the more expensive procedure rather than the most efficient/effective one? I guess in the same way that you trust anything else. But sometimes I felt conned by my private dentist! So I went onto an NHS one. I guess it’s just different perspectives and growing up in different cultures. Part of the tapestry of life!

    • Katrina says...

      Hi from Australia, where we I choose my own doctor and every other specialist if I want to :) Our doctors and specialists also earn A LOT of money.

    • Amanda says...

      @Anon if in the US doctors tend to be in it for the money (as per the original comment from this thread), then people who would make “bad” doctors are more likely to get into this field. When helping people becomes only about the money, that is when you encounter folks who do not want to help you/ who are lacking in bedside manner. They are simply there for the praise and paycheque.

      Here in Canada, you are more likely to get a doctor (who you can definitely choose, for those saying otherwise) who is passionate about helping people, because the rationale for becoming a doctor in this country is not money, but helping those in need.

      Most MDs I know went into the field because they have experienced hospital life and illness whether personally, or through someone close to them. Not because of money. There are many other lucrative careers. Out of the many doctors I and my family have seen and known personally (probably close to 30, if not more), I have only ever met one single one who treated me poorly. It was already well-known in the community that they were bad at their job, and they had a low position that reflected that. We went there as an emergency, but quickly got redirected elsewhere.

      When basic needs are met by the state, people are less likely to become money-hungry and go into careers that are immensely lucrative. This means that the people who want to be doctors become doctors, and the people who want to make lots of money can pursue different fields that better suit them.

    • Donna says...

      I’m so very grateful for our healthcare system in Canada. I had cancer years ago and had to get innumerable blood tests, scopes, two surgeries and an overnight hospital stay. When you’re battling an illness, worrying about how you’re going to pay for treatment, etc just adds to the stress. It was such a relief not having to worry about paying for these tests and procedures out of pocket.

  12. Penny says...

    Thursday, post election. How do I feel? Exhausted from refreshing the New York Times 24/7

  13. Alice says...

    I know that the viability of the planet very likely hangs in the result of this election. I find it hard to talk to friends about frivolous things. One way I cope is to imagine the history books of the future, written describing the fact that what we are witnessing is the climactic end of a profoundly broken system, and how it took humanity bringing itself this close to all sorts of precipice, right before we stepped back together. I’ve even begun mentally designing the covers.

  14. Alice says...

    Would really like to know more about the gnomes…

    • Alice says...

      This was meant to be in reply to a Prof. Further down in the comments talking about a class she gave on German gnomes and makes zero sense here, for which my thumbs apologise.

    • Jean says...

      That is so unintentionally hilarious. I love it!

    • Liz says...

      😂 this made my day

    • Elizabeth says...

      I want to print this out and put it over my desk.

  15. Kate says...

    I, like so many, have been feeling super anxious as I await the results, but I feel the weight lifting a bit as it looks more and more clear that Biden will win.
    I’ve been binge watching The Queen’s Gambit on netflix the past few days – it is an intense show, but I find the intensity escapist, rather than anxiety inducing, if that makes sense? Really recommend it if you want 7 hours of another world for a while!

  16. Meg says...

    For anyone with hard feelings and mild critiques that you don’t see yourself reflected in Cup of Jo topics that touch on politics or don’t like the way others leverage your political leanings to reduce you to a idea vs. a complex individual, this as an opportunity to zoom out and to have empathy with your fellow complex individuals who experience the pain of not seeing themselves represented at all in popular culture or who, because of perceptions of race, religion, or where they’re from are reduced to a painful stereotype with real world consequences.

  17. A says...

    Although I think trying to understand and respect other people’s opinions is important, I am sick of people giving Trump voters a pass. If you voted for Trump to pay less taxes because you are wealthy or to have more conservative judges appointed, you are no less complicit in racism, hatred, xenophobia, misogyny, caging children, and eroding democratic norms than people who voted for him because they are racists etc. Also hate speech and racist beliefs are not valid opinions and deserve no respect.

    • Isabelle says...

      Agreed. We’re not comparing apples to apples here.

    • Jess says...

      Totally agree.

    • Esvee says...

      Hear hear! To shrug off Trump’s racism, sexism, lack of ethics, disregard for the law, and lack of humanity, and moral ineptitude in order to vote for him is to condone all of it. Don’t feign ignorance. You know what he is and you choose to support him because you’re like him or because you’ll profit somehow with him in power = you are selfish.
      Prove me wrong.

  18. Meg says...

    No matter who wins (very much in Camp Biden), we still have so far to go to create the world we want to live in, however we individually define our societal ideal. The election cycle is a piece of it (bus stop metaphor), but there is still so much work we need to do. If Biden wins, hold power accountable. If the other one does, hold power accountable…and preserve democracy.

  19. Jane says...

    I am disappointed that this site didn’t post about the historic number of Republican women elected, 13 Republican women were elected in the house–women in government is a positive for all women, not just Democrats.

    • Anonymous says...

      As has been stated many, many times already – this is a lifestyle blog, not a news site, run by a group of Democrat women. There is no reason to think that they would talk about Republican wins here, and if that is the kind of coverage you are looking for, I would suggest you find another site that reflects your political preferences. Joanna and team do not owe you anything and have nothing to do with your (unreasonable, if you have ever read this site) disappointment. Once again, liberals are not responsible for making conservatives like you feel better about your decisions. If you feel unwelcome here, maybe it’s time to reexamine your values.

    • Sarah says...

      THIS. Joanna, please speak out on the fact that 55% of white women voters supported Trump – even MORE than the 2016 election. For all of us who had so much to say about BLM last summer, we clearly have more work to do.

    • frida says...

      if women in government just do the same thing men in government have been doing e.g. undermining democracy, presiding over 200,000+ deaths, nominating antichoice judges, etc., then i fail to see how that is a positive for all women.

      Girl power but fascist is a no no for me.

    • Madeline says...

      No. The mere presence of a woman in power is not a win for women. Women with pro-women policies are wins for women.

      Phyllis Schlafly’s influence was not a win for women. Amy Coney Barrett is not a win for women.

      COJ – you know this. Stay strong against this nonsense rhetoric.

    • Sage says...

      Women voting against their own interests really isn’t, actually, a positive for women. Women standing for a party which seeks to debase us and stick us back in our respective kitchens is not laudable.

    • alice says...

      Madeline sums it up perfectly.

    • Kelsi says...

      Jane, a historic number of Republican women elected just tells me what I already know – that more and more white people are afraid of a changing world with caramel colored babies and immigrants changing the American landscape of white supremacy (and when I say supremacy, I’m not necessarily saying robes’n’hoods – I’m saying white people comfortably sitting in places of privilege and power and stability). Trump is a manifestation of America’s xenophobia, he is not the start and he won’t be the end – many many people, even those who do not at all consider themselves racist, are afraid of a world where they are not “on top”. So, no, Cup of Jo owes you nothing in this regard. Your example is not “positive”. If women in power don’t support progressive values, they do nothing for me.

    • jen says...

      I didn’t celebrate Margaret Thatcher, either. Women who make their bones keeping the poor, people of color and other women down are not worthy of celebrating.

    • April says...

      My house representative is a Republican woman (Elise Stefanik) and her re-election is nothing to celebrate. Although I have never agreed with her politically she has turned into a mini-Trump fear mongering raging lunatic the last few years. I would celebrate if her female Democratic opponent had won, but I will never celebrate her simply because she is a woman.

    • Carol says...

      A woman in a position of power isn’t inherently feminist if she uses that power to harm and marginalize other women.

    • Liz says...

      Oh like the QAnon lady elected to the U.S. House of Representatives? Not gonna celebrate that one. Endorse the other replies here 100%.

    • Lisa says...

      MADELINE, you nailed it. Thank you!!!!!

    • Eloise says...

      YES, Jane!!! It has become abundantly clear that liberals only cheer for women who are liberal. How heartbreaking to think abortion is pro-woman. How is a Republican woman being elected to the house not a testament to how far women’s rights have come, just as much as a Democratic woman? Women for Trump are tired of being told what they need to think in order to be considered a true woman.

  20. M says...

    Sending love from Canada to our neighbours and the Cup of Jo fam <3

    • Ash says...

      Hi. Thanks so much!

      Can we come over for tea and cookies? Sorry we’re acting like the most dysfunctional kids in the basement.

      Yours,
      America

  21. Kara says...

    Two things I read yesterday that grounded my perspective: 1) “White supremacy is not the shark. It is the water ” (@theconsciouskid) 2) Perhaps the upside of Biden not winning by a landslide is that we won’t get complacent again and think that our deep national issues are fixed. We’re more likely to keep fighting because of it. (Unfortunately I can’t remember where I saw this thought.) And us White women realllly need to fight even harder and “gather our own.” I have been incredibly dismayed to see that MORE of us voted for Trump after the experience of the past four years.

    • Catherine says...

      I agree with this so much. As a native Texan, I know that many white conservative women voted for Trump because of the abortion issue. I was raised conservative and considered myself “pro-life,” and it took many years of education and experiences to change my belief system to the liberal Democrat I am now.

      I want to encourage other white women who might consider themselves pro-life to really educate yourselves about the history of abortion, specifically its racist, segregation-based beginnings, and to think about what it means to be Pro Life. Many Black women benefit from access to legal contraception and abortion, and to vote against that is to vote against Black Women. I really recommend the NPR podcast Throughline and its episode on Evangelicals and abortion. Republican leaders have mobilized millions of conservative voters for their own racist gains by manipulating the issue of abortion. Today, to vote Pro-Life is to be racist, and as white women in the United States, we have got to do better.

    • Isabelle says...

      Catherine, that is a great point. I love Throughline. It’s also worth noting that if someone wants to stop abortions, the best way to do so is to provide free and widely available contraception, sex education, and women’s healthcare! It’s plainly obvious that preventing abortions is not what it’s really about for pro-lifers.

  22. Celia says...

    I started binge-watching Great British Baking Show (for the first time!) and it has been the perfect antidote to election anxiety and news fatigue. The thing I like best about the show is that contestants are not penalized for helping one another. Even though they’re competing against one another, almost every episode features small moments of collaboration and friendship–helping a fellow competitor steady a wobbly tiered cake or clean up a messy work station. The baking tent is the perfect refuge from the real world!

    • Kate says...

      Celia, I started binge-watching GBBO after the 2016 election. I’m so glad you’re enjoying it. It was such a balm for my soul (dramatic but true.)

  23. AVA says...

    Does anyone feel like we may see a decisive generational shift in American politics towards the left in the next 10-20 years as boomers die out, and as younger generations become more educated, more urban, and less religious? That’s my (hopeful, optimistic) theory, but I’m eager to hear all of your thoughts!

    • LB says...

      “more educated, more urban, and less religious? ”
      That sounds really arrogant and intolerant. More education doesn’t equal wiser or more intelligent. Urban vs. rural areas is a problem…..have you seen the electoral map for every state? Everything is red except where big cities are. I think urban areas need to do a better job of understanding rural problems…….especially since they supply all the food. Is it no longer okay to be religious, and believe in a higher being? Geez….

    • Kristin says...

      Yes, I agree with you. My husband talks about this all the time, that we just need to be patient and change will happen. I am so impressed with this generation of high schoolers and college students who are so informed, politically active, and just plain smart. I have hope that a shift will occur and my young kids can grow up in a world where we are dealing with the climate crisis and working to create a more just, equitable society!

      I will say – I don’t necessarily think being religious is an issue. I do think there is a large subset of Trump voters who are subscribing to what they think is Christianity but is really watered-down, racist and sexist nonsense that is promoted by people lacking appropriate seminary education. I’m not the most religious person but I do go to church, and I’ve found the pastors with the highest levels of education are the ones preaching really intelligent sermons and promoting social justice.

    • Emily says...

      LB, being ‘urban’ does not exclude understanding the issues impacting rural Americans. In fact, liberal politicians address these issues in policy much more than conservatives, even if that may not be clear based on the way that they talk about the issues. There is a correlation between education and being liberal, which isn’t to say that those who are conservative are uneducated; rather, being educated leads to a world view which may inform one’s political views toward voting on the left. I know this is a touchy subject but I really think liberals, including urban ‘elites,’ care about people elsewhere and genuinely want to help, and we are not so different as some would want us to think. Everyone wants a job; economic security; food on the table; safety for them and their family; equality; freedom. Republicans and Democrats just define some of these things quite differently.

    • C. says...

      OMG. So here are my thoughts. You’ve apparently decided that society’s problems can all be blamed on “older” people, that they are holding your generation back from living in a perfect world, and that younger people bear no responsibility for the perpetuation of this flawed present reality? This is not hopeful or optimistic. I find it seriously misguided. As a “boomer” myself it is deeply offensive and wrong that you generalize about people based on their age, deem them superfluous, and wish them dead. This is ageism. It’s a form of discrimination. It is insidious and it’s wrong. It is no more appropriate or accurate for you to generalize about people based on their age then it is for you to generalize based on skin color, religion, or socio-economic background. There are many generalizations about young people that are equally ridiculous, for example if I were to assume that you and younger people in general are narcissists, guided by an oversized sense of entitlement, lacking social skills or common sense, bad at meaningful relationships, overly anxious and unable to cope with change or problems, bad with money, flighty, erratic, mistake technology for genuine human interactions, and have attention spans the size of a gnat. These are all things I have heard people say about younger people. Would you say these are also accurate? I’ve argued not, based on the actual humans that I know. Your negative assumptions about urban vs. rural citizens, educated vs. “uneducated”, and your opinion that having faith (seriously?) is somehow a shortcoming and a liability are equally offensive and ill informed. People are much more complicated and interesting and intelligent and capable than your comment gives anyone credit for.

    • Keeley says...

      In answer to Joanna’s question “My love, how are feeling?”, I was actually feeling vagely upbeat until I realized that people were hopeful that as soon as a whole generation of people had died off, the world would be a better place. I didn’t realize that my fellow boomers and I were standing in the way. Wow – I’m baffled and pretty sad after reading this comment.

    • Sage says...

      We unfortunately have a long, long way to go until religiosity is gone.

      Like I told my mom, who physically cringed when I told her I’m an atheist – there will never be a time when human beings don’t look at the stars and *wonder* at it all. No one is seeking to stamp out wonder, joy, passion, mystery from our world. We’ll always question what the meaning of life is, what our purpose is, etc., but there’s no reason to believe in gods or human-penned scripture. There’s a humanist way to ponder those timeless questions, and that doesn’t rely on listening to those who seek to subjugate women & minorities, inspire violence, and dictate that their followers breed like rabbits to stay poor and make the church rich.

      I get that religion provides people peace in times of discomfort, but it is also to blame for much of mankind’s evil. There are other ways to cope with the uncertainties and tragedies of life. Which don’t involve mental gymnastics like, “God let a little girl die of cancer but for a good reason, I’m sure, really.”

      (Even this insistence that there’s a cool Pope now who likes gays, or whatever – how does the church “evolving” on issues NOT disprove the idea of an infallible, omnipotent god, or that they have a direct link to “Him”?)

      I’m hopeful that one day there will be an end to organized religion but I know I won’t see it in my lifetime. I know far too many EDUCATED Millennials who still cling to their bibles.

    • Elizabeth says...

      The younger generation is certainly more global. I have children who live internationally, and they know people from all over the world. When people say the US is the greatest country I always ask where else have they lived. It is usually just here, and in their own state.

    • ha says...

      Oh goodness, the hand wringing!! Do you feel personally attacked that future generations will be different?? But to answer Ava, I feel that generational shifts are problematic, because each generation shifts, and it ends up being a back and forth. What we can do is make sure we keep increasing the base of human rights that we afford to all individuals, and hope that taking them away will be harder. I want to make sure we give our next generation a better planet than we have, and we aren’t on track for that goal.

    • Summer says...

      Ooooph. I’m thinking about my kickass, boomer mom who really has taken the time to learn a ton about BLM and anti-racism during her retirement. She has pointed me (a millennial) to a plethora of resources so I can continue to learn. Thanks to all the boomer dems in the comments here – we want you here, and aren’t waiting for you to go. Sending hugs!

    • LB says...

      @C, Preach!
      @Emily, I said more education doesn’t mean you are wiser or more intelligent. In order to get a PhD in say History you just need a lot of money, and some time. It may be hard work, but it doesn’t make you more intelligent or wiser than others. It would also make sense that the more “education” you receive the more liberal you are because there is a lot of group think in Higher Education and they are mostly very liberal. Universities are becoming less and less diverse in their thinking. Also, you missed my point about urban vs. rural. If the urban population really understood rural problems you wouldn’t see such a dramatic difference in EVERY state between rural and urban. Look at an electoral map for each state….it’s quite startling…..people are missing something. The answer isn’t as @Ava hinted; that all of rural America is old and out of touch, racist, blinded by their religion, and stupidly uneducated.

    • sg says...

      “In order to get a PhD in say History you just need a lot of money, and some time.” Yiiikkess. So rude. You don’t think this whole country would be better off if we knew our history better?

      Also not sure how it’s okay to say we’ll be better off when a whole swath of people *dies*. Imagine saying that about any other group in America. Apply that line of thinking to the subculture of your choice. How does it sit?

    • Alice says...

      @lb “In order to get a PhD in say History you just need a lot of money, and some time.”…. I’m hazarding a guess that you’ve not yourself been through the process?

      Also, consider the possibility that it is continued education, which is itself an option that should be afforded to everyone, tends to make people lean more to the left (or what much of the world, and indeed the ‘right’ of the recent past would consider the uninteresting centre) rather than some sort of conspiratorial group think across universities where it’s rare that entire faculties have much involvement with one another. It’s a possibility no?

    • jen says...

      LB, what you are saying when you say “Everything is red except where big cities are” is that everything is red except where the majority of people live. Just because farmers produce our food (and increasingly, family farms provide a fraction of our food), doesn’t mean the rest of us should be trapped by their anti-choice, anti-LGBTQ, anti-POC mentality.

    • marie says...

      Oh i hope so Ava!! Really hoping the planet will be salvageable by then.

    • Chelsea says...

      Ava, I know that when you made this comment you were being optimistic and mentioned you are eager to hear other thoughts, so I would like to share mine. My hope would be not that everyone would go to college, move to the city, and ditch their religions. Instead, my hope is that those structures would continue to grow and change from the inside out. Perhaps the immigrant farm worker would not run away from the rural area to find work in the city, but instead that person would be able to rise up and one day own their own farm or agricultural business. And the churches in America would become places that welcome the outcast, stand up against injustice, and provide much needed services and support in their communities. Change takes time, but I am already seeing some of these things come to fruition in my little corner of the world, slowly but surely.

    • suki says...

      @LB Your comment was well-intentioned and I agree with what I think you were “trying” to say but you should look into the fact that rural America largely grows animal feed. And those animals are mostly destined for cheap fast food that does more harm than good both to the environment and to people’s health.

      A single state, California alone, produces the majority of the produce that produces the actual vitamin and mineral content of our food. But this will change quickly as climate change has already begun to impact yield. Support your local farmers markets or establish one in your town if there isn’t one already. Big Ag is NOT feeding America and what they do feed us is also killing our soil, water tables and our bodies. All to serve corporate profit. Not the health and well-being of humanity as it should do.

    • suki says...

      Also @Kristin: . . . “we just need to be patient and change will happen. “. . . is exactly the WRONG approach! Relaxing and benefiting by the hard work of others without contributing? This is what you want your “young children” to learn??

      “I have hope that a shift will occur. . . “. It will only occur when you and your husband – and all the millions with your very poor attitude – get up and do something to make that shift happen. Publically stating that you intend to wait for others to do it for you is just so lazy and irresponsible and frankly, un-American. Please discuss this from a new position with your husband and pitch in – for your children’s sake if not your own.

  24. Jane I. says...

    Southern Nevadan here – needless to say, everyone in my office is sweating bullets.

    • Emilie says...

      I’m in Canada sweating for you! None of us at work can concentrate, so we’ve given up and I’m refreshing my various reporting browsers every 30 seconds. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be a Nevandan (or Georgian or Arizonan or Pennsylvania or North Carolinian!!) right now — my nerves wouldn’t make it! Thinking of you all and sending love and blue vibes xxx

  25. Chelsea says...

    In New Mexico we elected the first ever all female women of color congressional delegation!

  26. claire says...

    I’d like to recommend this article since so many of us are wondering about the differences and rifts. I find Sarah Smarsh to be an informed and articulate subject matter expert and journalist (her podcast “The Homecomers” gives valuable perspective about our fellow rural Americans). I think this article has a lot of merit, and it gave me a lot to think about. So I am passing it along, in case anyone else is interested. https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/sep/17/how-is-arguing-with-trump-voters-working-out-for-you

    • Clara says...

      Thank you for sharing this article. It definitely has a lot of merit and answered the question I’ve been asking myself for a while now: how can we keep talking to people who hold opinions so different to ours? By being open-hearted and kind and remembering that our privilege gave us access to quality information.

    • Lauren says...

      This article! Thank you so much for sharing it. I have no words.

  27. ellie says...

    It all felt really nerve-wracking and surreal to me and I barely slept the night of the election. I tossed and turned and kept waking to check my phone to see if we knew any more….then I had to get up and go to work. That was a welcome distraction, until it was a blindsiding of reality. I work in healthcare and had a 24 hour shift in a hospital that is drowning in COIVD (like everywhere else). The patients are everywhere. They are getting younger. They are getting sicker. They just keep dying. I came home to take my detox shower feeling I was covered, more than ever, in death. Senseless death. Although I’ve been at this since the beginning, it hasn’t gotten easier: I am feeling more afraid. The world keeps spinning, our country keeps bickering, our president spews hate, and people are dying all around me. Literally. And P.S. Mr. President: not making any money off of this; I am paid in the tears of the patients and families I care for, in the fear I carry home to my daughter with asthma, my 82 year old mother who lives with us; I am paid in the constant worry of ‘who’s next?’. God help us all.

    • Kathryn says...

      Ellie, thank you SO MUCH for everything you’re doing. Despite the abject failure of this government, please know how absolutely grateful I am for you and every other health care worker who has sacrificed and risked so much. We will forever be in your debt. Sending all my hope that you and your loved ones stay safe.

    • ha says...

      Sending you love as you do this most important and soul-crushing work. The science denial in this country, and the lack of basic understanding of stats, is so unfortunate. I keep seeing the 99.8% number being thrown around in the face of 230000 dead, and who knows how many more facing a lifetime of health issues because of COVID. Why is it so hard to see?

  28. Lauren says...

    I thought I was managing my anxiety but then my husband broke our dryer this morning and it put me over the edge – I now feel like I am totally losing it. I have been trying to stay active and intentional in my gratitude practice over the course of this pandemic and election, but it’s feeling harder than ever to force myself to feel happy/grateful today. I am going to let myself cry and feel all of the sadness, frustration, and anxiety that has built up inside of me over the last several months. I know the only way out is through and right now I guess I need to go through it with my emotions visible, not hidden.

  29. Lila says...

    I am as anxious as everyone else, but reading all these responses it seems like people are missing the opportunity to mark what we’ve achieved — turnout was incredibly high, thousands of people volunteered their time and energy to get people registered, informed, and out to the polls to vote for Joe Biden, who is ahead by millions of actual votes (as well as in the incredibly frustrating electoral college). I too feel sad that the polls were so off and that any Americans voted for Trump who has totally failed at containing the pandemic, doesn’t seem to understand the constitution, and is both sexist and racist. But I don’t think the answer is to get discouraged — it’s to get to work. We need to volunteer to cure ballots, start organizing for the next election, etc. Biden’s election is not meaningless — having a competent and decent person in charge of our country would be a huge improvement, one that gives me incredible hope.

    • Claire says...

      I agree with this. Even if Biden prevails, that won’t magically make these issues better. And as much as I think Trump is an abomination, he didn’t create the problems, he just stirred the pot so they erupted on the surface. And may positive change somehow emerge out of the turmoil. But we have to get out of fight mode. These are deeply embedded cultural and social issues with complex ramifications. They are not just going to go away. As the saying goes, you can’t legislate decency. Change will take consistent work, diligence, and time. We will have to find out a way to dialogue with each other. And a commitment to sit down with diverse viewpoints together at the table and find a way to craft solutions and move forward.

    • Charlotte says...

      So well said Lila, thank you :)

  30. Beth says...

    I am a liberal living in SF. I know exactly zero Trump supporters- there are none in any of my circles. (I am a musician and lived in Brooklyn and LA before moving here 8 years ago.) I desperately want to understand the 50% of Americans that are voting for Trump. I am tired of the blanket statements about how they are all racist, sexist or uneducated. I really enjoyed reading the pro-Trump opinions on this blog. Joanna, would you ever be interested in doing a political series where women of different political beliefs could sit down and really listen to each other in a respectful way? I want to understand how we got here. And even more so, how we heal from this.

    • Micah says...

      I totally get that! Grew up in LA and then moved to Texas. I have relatives in Iowa. A lot of them are farmers, and they feel Trump has done a lot to help them economically. That’s a big aspect that I never understood growing up in the city.

    • Mouse says...

      I agree. It will be painful and difficult, but perhaps worthwhile.

    • Ellie says...

      Beth- I’m in the outer suburbs of Seattle and while the area and state is overall Democratic there are a ton of Republicans who support Trump, particularly in the county where I live. Most around here are ‘Blue’ collar workers. As opposed to all of the ‘white’ collar workers closer to the city in the software industry, like myself, who are Democrats. I can’t answer why they support Trump and how they can look past his incompetence, sexism and racism. Many of the Trump supporters I see and I know are also sexist and racist. But there are others too. I think a core non-racist/sexist belief they have is the handling of the pandemic. They DON’T think we should mask or close down stores and restaurants. Because they are the ones being impacted the most. It’s their small businesses they own or work at. They are the restaurant workers, store workers, mechanics, etc. When things close down they don’t have a job, and without a job. Trump speaks to them. We will all die in the end but at least they will have jobs?

    • Claire says...

      Beth, to my surprise, my 86 year old father, who does not like Trump at all, announced he was voting for him. As best as I could understand, he felt threatened by all the unrest over the summer, and feels the country is in serious economic danger due to the impact of the virus. We had some discussion about it, and these were some of the contributing rationalizations: He did not understand about BLM, and only saw the riots and destruction on TV, from which he concluded that honest hardworking people were being threatened and their businesses were under attack. He supports the police (my sister is a police detective) and did not understand what “defunding the police” means as a policy. He thought it meant doing away with police completely and having nobody available to enforce laws and assist in the community when needed. He conflated ANTIFA with threats of anarchy, and in general saw law and order slipping away. I did provide him with fact-based info to try to reframe some of these ideas, but ultimately he was triggered, and believed Trump would be more assertive about quelling the disorder. He is also highly motivated by economic issues, and for no rational reason that I can identify, felt Trump was more capable at economic decisions and would get the unemployed back to work again. I know this does not make sense, I’m just repeating what he told me. He also said Biden was too old (???) even though I pointed out that Trump is in the same age group. Unfortunately I think what he was getting at with the age thing was a concern that Biden would be unable to serve out his term and that Kamala would need to step up. I think the idea of a woman running the country is just too new fangled for him. It was all disappointing to me, but he’s my dad and I love him so we will just keep talking. On the bright side, my 94 year old widowed aunt, former farmer, lives in a rural community, and is a life-long republican, cast her vote for Biden.

    • Andrea says...

      Hi:

      From what I’ve seen and read and spoken with people, I think these things are in the mix:

      1. They feel like liberals look down on them, hold them in contempt. Trump strikes back at people who make them feel small.
      2. They see Trump as strong or as backing a version of no apology masculinity.
      3. They may have more money because of the stock market or lessening regulations or the CARES Act.
      4. Trump gave them judges.
      5. It’s more like backing a sports team than being engaged and making decisions on policy.

      Strong h/t to Elizabeth Bruenig who also has a lot of MAGA family members.

    • Chelsea says...

      This is a great idea, Beth!

    • NM says...

      I don’t have close friends or family who voted for trump… but de of my fb friends do!

      And of course I have nothing better to do than to scroll through their comments on my friends’ feeds. Haha.

      One comment from a Trump supporter really seemed to sum things up:

      “I am very sorry, but I’ve been incredibly lax in following what President Trump says, because his words have no effect on my life. As long as his policies allow me to be me, I don’t care what he says.”

      This woman’s comment when challenged she was challenged to, but unable, to account for the horrific things Trump has said.

      So after much back an forth on how horrible abortion is and how the poor must help themselves, that was her answer.

    • Tracy says...

      doubt joanna will publish this, but i’ll try.

      Hi beth! first, I might suggest getting out of your circle a bit.

      I was a leftist through all of Uni and a bit of time after, until I simply “red-pilled” and woke up. The left has nothing if not for minority votes, which they are now losing rapidly. trump has gained more minority votes this election than any republican candidate in the last 60 years (!). he’s doing something right for minorities — and it’s showing in the numbers, and in droves.

      Look into think pieces from Coleman Hughes, watch some Ben Shapiro, Jordan Peterson, Dave Rubin, Thomas Sowell, Larry Elder, Brandon Tatum, Candace Owens, Sam Harris, etc. Look into the “intellectual dark web,” featuring brilliant left-leaning minds discussing a wide range of topics with brilliant right-leaning minds as they navigate the current culture war.

      There is so much out there that is not alex jones or q-anon. there are answers. promise. wish i could grab a coffee with you and talk about it!

      xTracy

    • Anna says...

      Beth,
      
Thank you for this. I was a reluctant conservative supporter this election cycle (I was a very enthusiastic liberal supporter last cycle). If I were in SF (I’m on the East Coast) I’d very much like to invite you over for dinner (alas…), but since that’s not possible for more reasons than distance, I just want to say hello.

      There are so many women like me who would be delighted to meet you and hear about your own life and beliefs, and talk with you about our own wildly different beliefs, experiences, and lives.

      I’d like to second a request for a discussion with women of different political persuasions on CoJ (and would love to recommend women I’ve come to respect for their insight). This doesn’t necessarily need to mean Trump supporters (I think many of us are about as enthusiastic about T as many of you may have been about Biden…), but I think it can be really healthy to be able to see and hear and come to understand (if not respect) differing viewpoints.

      
Anna

    • Marie says...

      There are so many people posting on here that are fearful right now. I think they are fearful because they are believing the false rhetoric that Republicans are racist and selfish which is promoted both on here and in the media. The easiest way to dismiss someone, shut them down, or bully them into voting blue is to call them “racist” and “selfish”. These “shame techniques” work well because no reasonable person wants to be those things and most everyone (except the fringe) find them intolerable. The fringe ruins it for everyone. I saw a video yesterday of people yelling at police that they hope their children are raped and murdered. We need to stop blindly believing the rhetoric that the media sells us.

      The media is one of the reasons why I voted Republican this time around. We should all be very concerned about the censoring that is happening. Is it more dangerous to ban Facebook like they do in China, or let Facebook decide what we see?

      I also don’t believe our government has the money to fund all these special programs that the democrats are promising. I am concerned about the long term. What good is money in your pocket if it is worth nothing? If we tax the wealthy, they will just move their businesses over-seas. If there is one thing rich people are good at, it is avoiding taxes and making sure the money stays in their pockets! Trump know this! Many people would lose jobs. I also believe while it might seem like it is the “kind” and “unselfish” thing for government to fund free this and free that, that in the long term it would cost us all greatly. I would love to buy my kids each a car too, but I know that next week it means I couldn’t put food on the table. Socialism seems nice, but rarely ends well, and generally means everyone must want the same things, and the same kind of lifestyle in order to work.

      I also have a lot of concerns about Medicare for All. I have had my children on insurance through a state run program geared toward middle income families, and it was very frustrating. Many doctors or dentist won’t accept it. I also couldn’t get some of the dental services my child needed covered because they had a crazy point system set up to determine if services were medically necessary. The insurance company decided it was not medically necessary even though our dentist, doctor, and ENT all said it was. In the end we had to pay out of pocket. We switched over to my husband’s employer’s insurance after that and it has been much better. I don’t like the idea of government being in control of my health insurance, and calling the shots.

      Hopefully this will help others to understand better. I have many republican friends and they are some of the kindest most generous people I know. One family I know routinely has refugees live with them, and another has opened their home to a single mom and her 3 kids.

    • EJC says...

      Hi Beth – thank you for this comment, I agree (and have advocated in the comments of other political CoJ posts) that this would be a great platform to host a discussion between readers with different political beliefs and priorities (though Joanna and team are also in no way obligated to do this, as it is a personal blog!)

      I am a progressive liberal; I support a universal basic income, public healthcare, heavily subsidized post-secondary and daycare, prison abolition and a harm reduction approach to illicit drug use. I want to hear from individuals with other opinions [i.e. beyond my own bubble!] and discuss policies and priorities. I am SO tired of the “every Trump supporter hates women, wants children in cages, is racist” etc. That is an over generalization, a blunt instrument, and is not helpful.

      Thank you to the posters who have provided their thoughts and positions here already — I will always welcome more conversations like this! It is not always easy, and we know we will not always (or ever!) agree, but silencing others will only widen the polarized chasm that got us here to begin with.

    • Cynthia says...

      I totally understand where Marie is coming from. Give away programs mean higher taxes for everyone. I’m retired, and I’d like to keep as much of my income as possible. As we all have different levels of intelligence, education, and abilities, it stands to reason that some people are going to earn more than others. My husband and I are not super wealthy, but we are very generous and help people we know who need it. Socialism doesn’t work. Look at Cuba and some of the South American countries. I have friends who left Cuba as children to escape it. People who want Medicare for all should realize that Medicare is NOT free. Part A is free, but part B comes out of my Social Security payment each month to the tune of $144.60. It goes up each year which reduces my COLA. If you choose traditional Medicare, you need a Medigap plan to cover the deductibles and other things Medicare does not cover. You will also need a prescription plan, as traditional Medicare does not cover prescription drugs, and there is no dental care either. Or you can choose a Medicare Advantage plan, which is an HMO or PPO, depending on the plan you choose and does include prescriptions. My husband and I have advantage plans which have no additional premium. The drawback is that you have to see doctors on their list, but our doctors participate in the plan. The other advantage is that you know what your co-pay is when you go to the doctor. With traditional Medicare, your doctor bills Medicare and your Medigap plan. If your doctor accepts them as payment in full, you’re fine. Otherwise, you’re billed for the difference. I also want less government interference in my life.

    • Kara says...

      I appreciate the respectful dialogue happening here, I just want to address the funding topic that Marie brought up and please ask the conservative voters who feel the same as her to visit this website: https://www.fundedinstead.org/. It goes through an exercise where you reallocate money from the various government-funded programs that exist to see how they could help fund things like education in our country. It shows you just how much is being spent on things currently (by our Republican-controlled government). I think it’s a great exercise, and I find it really hard to imagine that any person who actively reads this blog, conservative or liberal, thinks it’s better to fund police in schools (currently funded) instead of nurses and guidance counselors in schools (currently inadequately funded).

    • Victoria says...

      Beth, this is such a great comment. I also want to learn about others’ political views, which is why I read the comments on the political posts here. I want to understand where everyone is coming from. I voted for Trump this year. Although I am conservative, I literally could not bring myself to vote for him in 2016, as I in no way approve or respect some of the things he says. However, as a smaller business owner, Obama’s tax plans wrecked my financial state and Trumps tax cuts helped me be able to provide for my family. I honestly don’t like Trump, I think he says awful things, and I don’t blame a single republican for not voting for him. I get it! But also I need to be able to provide for my family, I am impressed with his foreign policy deals, and although I support the ideas of Black Lives Matter and think America needs to work harder to become anti racist, I don’t think the looting and violence is okay and I’m sick of boarding up my store windows because I’m scared of the protests that that group specifically has been holding in my city. So although I agree with you, Trump is not a good person, I agree with him economically and that’s the only way I want government to affect my life. I can make my own choices about right and wrong, and will NOT be looking to Trump for anything of that matter. But I do need to feed my family. Hope this maybe helps. Once again, I don’t blame anyone, even republicans for not voting for him.

    • Victoria says...

      If anyone wants to do a podcast swap, you recommend a liberal one that you support to me and I’ll listen to it and I’ll recommend a conservative one I support and we can email or text about it after let me know. Here’s my number :) 801-358-5113

    • Andrea says...

      Cynthia—You want less governmental involvement in your life and
      you want to pay less in taxes. You are lucky to have government-underwritten healthcare. This saves you a tremendous amount of money and gives you coverage and saves society overall because you would likely end up just needing medical care anyway and not end up paying for it.

      These are all the same reasons people not retired want a public option. To have health care, to not be bankrupted by a health emergency, to flatten the curve of unpaid medical costs in our society. We have so many people without health insurance—people who work—that some option is necessary. It’s economically cheaper to have healthcare coverage expanded then to run up huge charity care debt.

      So, oftentimes these solutions save money. You also leave off whether the current allocation of spending makes sense. We prioritize obscene amounts of military spending and not healthcare.

    • Jean says...

      This is a great conversation, and a great antidote to the “half our country is racists and fascists” that I see on my FB. Most of my friends are progressives. I’m a liberal. While I appreciate and agree with some progressive ideas, the groupthink and constantly outraged “culture wars” aspect of that identity does not work for me. I also have more conservative friends and family. The issues for them are just different. My number one issue in casting my vote was preserving democracy. I think Trump is terrifyingly incompetent, a liar, cruel, vindictive, no respect for the law, and threatening the stability of our democracy. I also wanted to vote for a far stronger federal response to COVID, expanded health care access, and environmental stewardship. For my conservative friends, their issues tend to be:
      1. Abortion – you cannot underestimate this, or try to talk around it. Millions of Americans see this as the number one grave emergency facing America, the unnecessary loss of thousands of babies’ lives a year. If you can imaginatively try on this belief, it makes sense. This is a very difficult topic to have an open mind about, however, and I respect that.
      2. Economy – for some reason that I cannot fathom, they think Trump is better for the economy. I suspect its because he emphasizes jobs so much in his communications. Note that Dems tend to emphasize expanding social welfare programs. Republican voters tend to see a strong economy as one that offers many employment opportunities.
      3. Religious freedom – A lot of conservatives feel condescended to by liberals, and feel that liberals are hostile to Christianity. Look around in the comments. They feel that many liberal attempts to increase inclusion and end discrimination through legislation and penalties go too far and impede their rights to live and believe freely.
      4. Fear of socialism. While this term is very popular with progressives, it scares a lot of people who associate it with repressive regimes in Cuba, Venezuela, China, and the USSR. I have seen/heard “I just cannot vote for a socialist” MANY times this cycle.

      There’s other items, but these are things that I think were really it. Of course, there are people who vote for Trump because they see in him a supporter of real racist and fascist values, and that is serious. Still, people I know who vote Trump don’t think the racism, sexism, etc., are as bad as the left makes them out to be. They shrug it off, or see the other issues listed above as more important.

      Going back to the nerve-wracking wait now!

    • jen says...

      I’m from Kansas and live in the deep south and know exactly zero Trump supporters. Even the Republicans in my family voted Biden. Who are these people?

    • Beth says...

      I truly appreciated reading each one of your thoughts on this. After reading everything, now I have about a zillion more questions I want to ask-but don’t want to hijack the comments section here. We need a Zoom coffee hour where women can get together and listen. We obviously have a lot in common if we are all here reading this blog. xo

    • Sara says...

      Beth, this is an amazing thread and I commend you for starting it! It is so, so heartwarming and encouraging to see people try to come together and understand each other’s perspectives, even if they strongly disagree.

    • SB says...

      Beth – my circle may not be as homogenous as yours, but I, too, find myself wondering similar things.

      I lean left, but this is has been an evolving process. I admit it has been heavily influenced due to having the opportunity to live, study, and work in 6 other countries than the US over the last 14 years. I was born and raised, however, in rural America – northern Maine, to be exact, the district that just re-elected Susan Collins and gave a single Electoral College vote to Trump. Many of my family members and childhood friends and mentors are Republican and support Trump, although like another poster said – it’s not that they necessarily “like” Trump. Some of the reasons that I’ve learned from conversations with family members specifically about why they are still supporting Trump include:

      1) Abortion will never stop being “the most important issue”
      2) They believe Trump will do better for the economy, which needs extra help because of the pandemic
      3) They didn’t feel like Biden was a viable choice – some reasons: “he doesn’t have a concrete plan”, “he’s too old”, “he can’t speak coherently”, and “I don’t like Kamala and I think she will have too much power”
      4) They feel like Biden threatens the fundamentals of the “American Dream” – that if you work hard and pull yourself up by your bootstraps, you can achieve anything
      5) They support stereotypical impressions of strong masculinity and believe Trump embodies that appraoch
      6) They genuinely believe he has brought peace to the Middle East, saved us from nuclear war with North Korea, “fixed” the situation with Iran, and are about to conclude everything in Afghanistan with positive results (this one particularly riles me up as I actually live and work in Afghanistan and the current plan of pulling all the troops out with no post-removal plan is basically going to give us Iraq 2.0 with a huge power vacuum that will be filled by, you guessed it, the Taliban and ISIS…)
      7) They are still holding onto the “old” Republican Party ideals and focus and believe that it’ll get back to that eventually
      8) They legitimately feel that Biden/Dems will take their guns

  31. Tania says...

    Wandering aimlessly from room to room, stress eating, doom refreshing. I want back, more than anything, our system of shared norms. I am never going to agree with a Republican on most policy issues, but we used at least to agree to all play by the same rules. I keep thinking of something that David Frum, a never Trumper who writes for the Atlantic, wrote: if conservatives realize that they cannot win by the ballot, it isn’t conservatism they will abandon.

  32. Vava says...

    I’m feeling horrible. It’s because my beloved white Maine Coon kitty died on Monday. He was my spirit animal, I’ve never loved a pet as much as I loved him. He was 12+ years old so luckily we did have him for awhile. My husband and I are just devastated. I feel as if a part of me died when I took Sachi to the vet to cross the Rainbow Bridge.
    The election has sort of been a distraction, though. I’m glad to see Biden is in the lead, but it’s so troubling that Trump gained supporters. The lack of a blue tidal wave tells me there are lots of racists here in this country.

    • Robin says...

      I am so sorry for your loss. Sending love.

    • N says...

      I’m so sorry for your loss, Vava. What was his name? He will always be with you.

      Sending hugs from the midwest.

    • Nina says...

      Hi Vava,

      I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I too have a Maine Coon, and he is my heart. Holding you in my thoughts.

  33. Nicole says...

    I’m feeling exhausted. And scared. I moved abroad this year (thankfully I was still able to vote for Biden absentee!), and it has been such a weird experience to witness the election from another country. I’ve had multiple friends text me when they go to bed, asking me to text them if results are finalized before they wake up (because, time zones). Mostly, I’m hurting. So many people in my demographic – white women – continue to vote for a hateful, racist human who breathes hate speech, is destroying lives and our planet. I honestly wonder if I’ll ever move back.

  34. Megan Johnson says...

    I had a breakthrough this morning while sitting in bed reading–something I’ve been feeling guilty about doing throughout the pandemic. I’m a type-A person, very productive and regimented, so the aimlessness and lack of motivation I’ve been experiencing for the last few months has been really jarring for me. I keep seeing posts that say “it’s ok not to be ok right now” and “go easy on yourself–you’re living through a GLOBAL PANDEMIC,” but I can’t help but feel like I should be cleaning, working, exercising, etc. These past couple days have just been too much though, so this morning, I snuggled down into the squishy, slept-in sheets of my bed, pulled the covers up, and read for probably an hour while sipping on my coffee–no shame, no guilt, no wondering if there was something more meaningful I could be doing. It was joyous.

    • Yvonne S says...

      Whatever you decide to do is ok. Do what is right for you. I feel the same way. Take care of yourself!

  35. S says...

    America was built on pillaged land, and it is sad to see that not much has changed in the mindset of so many Americans. We have some ancestral healing to do.

  36. Rebecca says...

    Thank you Jean. I have observed the same trend. Very scary.

  37. Meditation, pancakes, work, walk, The Queen’s Gambit, repeat.

    • Megan says...

      SAME! :)

    • M says...

      Haha, I read that as “meditation pancakes,” which I thought sounded like a very healing tradition!

  38. H says...

    As someone with a less than complete grasp of Israeli Arab politics, could you (Joanna and team) do a feature on this antisemitism concern that so many people have? Or point us to some balanced resources?

    • Emily says...

      H,

      Speaking as a Jewish woman, I don’t think that a non-Jewish team should take on this project. I have seen articles to this effect elsewhere which miss crucial pieces of Jewish history and experience, including of anti-Semitism.

      Please note that anti-Semitism, while it does come up in the context of debates around Israel-Palestine, is a separate entity and centuries-old form of hate and discrimination. It did not start and end with the Holocaust, and it is very much an active and violent form of hate and bigotry around the world today, in fact more so than any time since WWII. There are good resources available through the Holocaust Museum, the Anti-Defamation League, Yad Vashem, the Jewish Museum, and other organizations. Us Jewish Americans could use the education of non-Jews who could be allies as hate rises. Please do that work, for us!

    • Kara says...

      @ashspeedteaches (a Jewish woman) has some great stories in her Instagram highlights on the history of anti-semitism and how it relates to current events, if you like consuming information in that form. H, I agree and think that the COJ team could have guest posts by a Jewish person to help educate their readers.

    • Eric says...

      Vox isn’t a good source for nuance on this

      Actually talk to mainstream Jewish organizations on this; not groups like JVP, IfnotNow, etc… Look to the ADL, B’nai Brith, Simon Wiesenthal Centre, Holocaust Museum, Yad Vashem.

      That Vox article and Omar “all lives mattered” antisemitism

    • Sara says...

      Strongly agreeing with Emily and Eric. And I am so gratified to see this conversation unfolding here!

    • Julie says...

      I’m really curious Emily why you think a non-Jewish team should not take on this subject? Anti-semitism is not an issue only for Jewish people, it’s an issue we should all be concerned about. For example, I have been curious about how some of Ilhan Omar’s comments about Israel/Palestine have been interpreted as anti-semitic in the US? I am Christian with two Jewish best friends (we don’t live in the US) who openly criticise Israeli policies relating to Palestine and are members of justice for Palestine nfp’s. I think there are a wide range of viewpoints on all manner of issues and respectful discussion and debate should always be encouraged.

    • Em says...

      YAYYY!!! Thanks for this update!!!

    • M says...

      Watching from the UK and sending so much love to anyone that needs it. I am reminded of how utterly crushing the Brexit division was here. It feels like this should be a time for people to come together, whatever that may look like. Thank you for opening this conversation.

  39. R says...

    I’m re-reading A Handmade’s Tale; consoling my oldest, who at 14 came out as non-binary a few months ago and is taking this election very personally, and sleeping and waking at odd hours. I keep refreshing my phone to both CNN and the NYTimes. This country disappoints me.

    • R says...

      Handmaid’s

    • Lisa says...

      R, what a lucky 14 year old you have to know they are supported and loved no matter who they are. I’m incredibly disappointed that our country didn’t overwhelming support your child and others like them. Hugs to you and to your brave child.

    • Summer says...

      R, thinking of you and your child. My spouse is becoming more comfortable with their non-binary identity in their late 20s and wow, what a difference supportive parents would have made! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Nothing really makes this moment better but you showing up for your kid in an affirming way helps, I’m really sure of it.

    • R says...

      Thank you for those replies! My goodness, made me feel better. We are proud of them and thank you for sharing and for your encouragement.

  40. Annie says...

    Here in the UK we are watching closely. Radio on, checking the laptop. But I’m also sewing a huge pile of face masks for the school where I used to work as a teacher before I retired and adjusting to our second lockdown. Just as I was feeling a bit meh I looked out of my sitting room window; a young man, looking devastated and anxious, dressed for a funeral at the church opposite, was pacing up and down. Life goes on and so does death. We will come through this and look back, hopefully with wisdom. My own government fills me with despair at their incompetence and blatant disregard. Hold the line.

  41. Jackie says...

    Do you welcome Republicans, conservatives, and/or Trump supporters to read your blog?

    Asking as an independent who doesn’t understand why people go so wildly left or right…

    • Maya says...

      Do you usually welcome and support people who are against gay rights, abortion rights, and racial equity? Genuinely asking.

    • Julia says...

      I think anyone is welcome here but the CupofJo team and most of the commenters it seems swing left. I myself have been a die hard Democrat all my life. Just don’t agree with certain basic republican philosophies. But the older I get I lean slightly more to the middle or at least I am willing to listen to the other side. And oddly enough, after 4 years with our current president I will appreciate any leader (blue or red) who is civil, behaves like a mature and responsible adult and leads with a goal of unity. #45 is just a disgrace in every sense…..ugh

    • H says...

      There is no significant ‘left’ globally speaking, in the US. American left is mostly center right.

    • Drea says...

      Maya, that’s a loaded question to ask Jackie, not a fair one. I’m a Democrat who lives in a swing state and as much as I struggle to understand why people would vote for Trump (and how they can continue to support the current Republican party), it’s not as simple as “well, they’re against gay rights, abortion rights, and racial equity.” It’s not popular to say this but I think people’s reasons for supporting Trump are more complicated than that and if we hope to find common ground in our country, we need to be willing to listen to each other and not begin our conversations with stereotyping people. I love CoJ’s posts on political issues and I would hope that Republican and Independent voters will still show up here. It’s one more way I can learn.

    • Alex says...

      I’m from Europe so I not as emotionally engaged but still: I think it’s super important to put people first, and ideas second. Let’s not forget that a Trump voters are just humans, fragile, possibly scared, loving their families….just like everybody is. You never know – maybe in a critical situation, a republican would save your life whereas a democrat would run away….not sure how to express this but I believe you get my point. Generalization and stereotypization are the worst!

    • A says...

      Have to agree with H here, left in America does, from an outside perspective seem on all measures to be what a typically Conservative set up looks like elsewhere. I’ve also noticed that Liberal is a word used differently in the states. The word ‘leftist’ is skin crawly… I do think it’d be worth people plotting themselves on a political compass and realising there are a multitude of directions and overlapping points, not just left or right, I remember the lesson in class from twenty years ago now. It would probably be both healing and informative. Personally hoping for a Biden win and to see some solidarity on tackling the immediate issue of impending climate catastrophe…the world is holding its breath.

    • A says...

      To clarify I find it skin crawly because I see it used predominantly as a sneering term of abuse from people ‘on the right’ that fear and deride anything that they don’t recognise or understand, though I also know people of the broad church that is the left have themselves adopted it to reflect that breadth.

  42. D says...

    Election results so far show that Republicans haven’t had this support from non-white groups since 1960. Very evident in House and Senate races. Two huge takeaways:
    – Don’t tell Communist refugees that socialism is the future of America.
    – Don’t tell Black and Brown people how we should think. It is not a white person’s place to explain to us OUR struggle and OUR challenges.

    • Alice says...

      Socialism and communism are not remotely the same thing, one doesn’t lead to the other. I do not understand why in commentary on American politics the two are constantly conflated.

    • Venel says...

      Alice – Zero citizens of currently communist countries were ever offered communism. They were all offered progressive democracy, socialism, etc. Only those who have experienced this can speak to it and many of these brave men and women are now American citizens who fled that nightmare and voted against it because things were sounding all too familiar with their past.

  43. Claire says...

    I am left wondering right now about connection in our country. I am overwhelmed by how important the outcome of this election is and I am full of fear for what the future will hold for my daughters if Trump wins. At the same time, what does it mean that so many people feel exactly the same way about the possibility of Biden winning? How have we become so divided and how can we move forward together?

  44. Cláudia says...

    Watching from Portugal since Wednesday early morning. Trying to learn how the votes counting works, not easy 😊.
    Woke up this morning (Thursday) very early and my first thought was: Nevada’s results. But I was too afraid to see the results ahahah
    Really thinking about you and all the decent people in the US. Decency must win these elections, for yours and our sake. Warm hugs to all of you!

  45. Emma says...

    I’m not a fan of Trump, but why is there this narrative that Biden is ‘the correct choice’ and Trump is ‘the wrong choice’? Surely people are allowed to vote for whoever they decide is best for them? It’s very patronising to constantly state that one choice is ‘more correct’ or ‘more valid’ than another.

    • Ha says...

      Read Andrea’s comment below for this perspective.

    • Lily says...

      @Emma, people are certainly allowed to vote for whomever they like. That’s democracy! And why counting every vote is important. But when civil and human rights are being aggressively attacked, there is definitely a “more moral” choice. I suppose supporting racism/sexism/homophobia/Islamophobia is a “valid” choice, if that’s one someone believes, but it certainly isn’t moral or decent to invalidate someone’s ability to access health care, education, employment, marriage, or adoption benefits. Just to name a few.

    • Bonnie says...

      This, 100% this!

    • SP says...

      idk when ur president is an unapologetic racist, sexual predator, bigot, liar, gaslighter, homophobe, etc, etc it is pretty impossible to imagine why anyone would feel that he is the “best for them.” not to mention the fact that voting solely based on what is good for you and you alone is a very selfish and privileged way to decide who you will vote for.

      yet here we are.

    • Jackie says...

      I agree. I really loathe Trump but I don’t like Biden either. I just don’t get the “right” or “wrong” choice either.

      If you invalidate people feelings and opinions, regardless of what they are, they will be angry and fight back.

    • Ileana says...

      Because one man denies basic human rights to multiple groups of Americans, and he also undermines our democracy at every turn.

    • susan olivia says...

      You’re tone policing. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tone_policing

      Trump supports and enacts policies that actively harm and kill Black, Indigenous, Latinx, POC, LGBTQ+ people, and has lost countless human lives by ignoring and mishandling a pandemic. He is causing suffering and death.

      So, no, I’m not going to tell you it’s ok to support Trump or racism. It is not a valid choice.

    • Jackie says...

      @susan Olivia. Then aren’t you tone policing people who have certain feelings for voting Trump? Just because they vote Trump didn’t mean they are anti (insert cause here).

      Again. I don’t like him. But there are people that vote with their wallets. The world isn’t black or white. It’s very gray.

      That’s why I really can’t believe we are only given two choices for president. In a country of a million choices.

    • Isabelle says...

      Jackie, it really doesn’t matter if you “aren’t racist” if you are casting a vote for a racist. At BEST you aren’t racist but decided it wasn’t a dealbreaker for you.

      Everything about Donald Trump has been a dealbreaker for me, from the moment he came down that escalator. I’m independent, but there is no gray area here.

  46. Nigerian Girl says...

    Since Tuesday I’ve been reading the news in bits for my sanity. I’m not surprised by the closeness of the race because I expected it. However, I’m still hopeful for a democratic win. We need a ray of light to brighten this dark year. And while I’m no longer a praying woman, this morning I prayed for America.

  47. Andrea says...

    I’m a health care worker in a red state. I and all of my colleagues are exhausted by COVID. The failure of this administration to mount a coherent public health response is embarrassing, and Trump’s accusing us of fraud just last week was unconscionable. (Particularly after healthcare workers saved his life!). Did you see we hit 103k new cases and 1200 deaths today? It’s only going to get worse.
    I worked a poll location
    yesterday and I will never do it again. The Trump truck showed up at 10am and the driver was belligerent and rude as were the multiple men attempting to enter with Trump gear. My 17 year old daughter working with me was harassed and accused of ballot tampering when she cleared a jam in the scanner. I just can’t respect anyone who aligns themselves with the hatred and racism currently exemplified by this man and his party right now.

    • Alycia says...

      Thank you, Andrea, for your professional work, your volunteerism, your parenting your patience, and your words here.
      I was raised and educated to speak up about and against fascism. It is amazing to watch so many women trip over themselves to excuse this behavior and I am not here for it. It has never been more obvious what the correct, humane vote is, and yet so many still struggle.

    • B says...

      I think the vast majority of Trump voters are kind good people who just have different life experiences and ways of looking at things. While it would be nice if Trump was a more polished speaker the main thing people are looking at is what he is accomplishing. I do think candidates on both sides say things they probably regret saying and can be taken out of context as well.
      There are so many reasons people vote for Trump, as a religious Jew myself, he personally understands our community’s issues and how important the priority of freedom of religion is for us.
      He has had only had positive interactions and helpful policies for the Jewish community.
      As a daughter and granddaughter of refugees from the Soviet Union my family and just about every Jewish/and or Russian family I know understands what socialism/communism can do to people personally and a country as a whole. When you had friends sent to prison in Siberia, injected with harmful medications in mental hospitals, having your phones tapped, being followed by the police, your job being taken away, and much more because of your wish to live as a Jew or your wish to take care of yourself by making your own money. People who lived through it are extremely wary of big government and any mention of socialized medicine or other government intervention makes them very worried.
      We care about every single person, it would be amazing if we could guarantee healthcare for every person, but having the government run that is just not the way to go. So much money is wasted with all the bureaucracy and paperwork, money that can go towards feeding people or providing them healthcare. I know people who get healthcare through the government now and it is almost impossible to find good care so they end up having to find money to pay for things on their own anyway. Most good doctors don’t take government insurance and the ones who do are kind hearted people who have enough other patients with private insurance that cover the cost of the patients with Medicaid since it is inefficient, takes many many months for them to get paid from the government for their services and is difficult to communicate with them.
      There are so many other reasons why we support Trump, Ben Shapiro sums it up well.

    • Bec says...

      Sorry, @B you understand that American healthcare is some of the most expensive in the world right? And that this is the case because it is so privatised. https://www.hsph.harvard.edu/news/hsph-in-the-news/the-most-expensive-health-care-system-in-the-world/

      Like many people in the comment section here (and it seems on social media) you seem to be conflating socialism with communism, socialism with socialised medicine and the form of communism practiced in Soviet Russia with socialised medicine.

      There seems to be a very genuine lack of understanding of what socialism actually is. How much your privatised medical system actually costs you and how great it is to live in a country where you don’t have to worry about being able to afford healthcare. I am proud to pay my taxes to contribute to socialised healthcare, education and public transport infrastructure. I wish my country would spend less money on mining royalties and the military but that’s a whole other story.

  48. Katherine Achterman says...

    I am feeling betrayed today. I feel like I have lost my innocence. I don’t know how to reckon the ideas that I used to hold about humanity’s general goodness with the reality that millions voted in a way that directly opposes my safety as a lesbian. I used to feel as though my parents were my safe space- knowing that they voted as they did erodes the foundation of my life and sense of identity. So yes, today I feel very betrayed.

    • Nicole says...

      As a bisexual femme, I feel this. How can you love me and vote for someone who will hurt me?

    • Isabelle says...

      Agreed. I’m disappointed but not surprised, and I have zero time for these women in the comments defending their choice to vote Trump. I am OVER IT. I’m very sorry your parents made the wrong choice, and I hope you find peace and safety wherever you need it.

    • Jess says...

      Completely agree.

  49. Colleen says...

    I’m so sad to know for sure how divided my country is. I can argue policy, but I hold the line at racism and misogyny. I want to know, “ who are these people”.? I need to figure it out. I’m ready to listen.

  50. J. says...

    Reading these comments all day today has been a balm for my frayed soul, especially while being a ricocheting pinball machine of emotion.

    Can’t really put my own thoughts into words, so I’ll borrow two things from those far more eloquent than me:

    1) Quite a while before the 2016 election, I found a series of pictures Caroline D’Onofrio <3 took and posted of something like a message board outside a building that must be in her neighborhood. The morning after the 2016 election, in a complete daze, I shared one of those pictures with this quote (which I'm not positive is correctly quoted or attributed– apologies if it is not– but was beautiful in the aforesaid picture nonetheless):

    "When I despair, I remember all that all through history, the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall– think of it, always. -Mahatma Gandhi"

    2) I don't have Instagram myself so can't properly link this (maybe someone else can?), but a beloved author/artist/writer/soul in Mari Andrew, to whom I was also introduced through Cup of Jo!, posted this the other day – would love if it could be linked so you can see the beautiful illustration/art too:

    "Ritual for the week before an election:
    Consider personal and private joy

    If they didn't give it to you,
    it isn't theirs to take.

    I make a list of things that
    can't be taken from me no matter
    what: my memory of the sunflower field,
    my admiration for my friends, the color fuschia,
    the smell of pine, words I've read,
    many more things sacred only to me,
    things a bad leader can't understand
    much less rob from me.

    Things that make me feel pity for
    a bad leader because if he did understand
    he'd find no pleasure in cheap cruelty.

    There are things I'll know and love
    that he'll never know and love.
    This joy is mine. This love is
    mine. The goodness I've seen and
    been shown is mine, mine, mine,
    ours, the world's, not his, not theirs."

    I love so much that Cup of Jo led me, through Caroline and Mari, to these two things that have, thankfully, brought me comfort throughout this wacky worst Wednesday.

    I also love that we are all here together, even in these comments. The best antidote to fear is belonging, connection, and love. Sending infinitely gigantic (and hopeful!) hugs xx

  51. Hayley says...

    I want to stay positive but despite what happens, the truth is, America is broken and there are more racists, homophobes, xenophobes, and white supremacists living among us than we thought. It shouldn’t be this close. As long as I live, I will never understand how someone could vote for this subhuman piece of garbage. It’s disgusting, it’s criminal, it’s shameful, and reprehensible. I’m so disheartened and am really losing faith in this hate-filled, backwards country and its future.

    Feeling more hopeful tonight, but Afraid to get my hopes up due to the PTSD I still have from 2016. It’s been so hard to focus on anything but this, it’s agonizing!

  52. Katie says...

    I live in a little democratic bubble in Idaho but was raised by Republican parents and it has been breath taking to watch the Republican Party move to authoritarianism under Trump. My summer was spent watching trucks with confederate and Trump flags blow past our campsites (sometimes they were half confederate/half American flags which really makes me think our public school system needs wayyy more funding). We had trump enthusiasts walk our neighborhoods streets with assault rifles and trump shirts to prove a point. I don’t let my kids play in the front yard alone anymore. At my ex’s grandma’s funeral my kids grandpa loudly laughed with cousins about protesters being shot by trump fans. Based off what I was seeing around me I felt another, more terrifying 4 years, of Trump was possible. And yet it is still staggering to me that this is close. Design mom posted a thing about what is it trump supporters want because none of the points previously held by Republicans seem to hold true under Trump and I feel that really strongly. From the people in my life who are vocally supporting Trump the propellant seems to be power and I am furious that this is where we are.

    • susan olivia says...

      Absolutely agree. I hope that when these people are being racist in your presence that you call them out. It’s super hard, but important work. <3

    • Maggie says...

      Design Mom on Insta has been the unwavering voice of reason that has given me the words I’ve been searching for when I have these exact conversations. Her entire thread about “Conservatives, What Do You Want?” was perfect. I also love watching her house transform :) Here’s the post I mentioned above (from her blog for those not on Insta or Twitter) https://designmom.com/conservatives-what-do-you-want/

  53. Netty says...

    I live in SC but I’m originally from Boston. I’m so fearful of all the hate in this country people on both sides of the spectrum are using human beings as scapegoats blaming different groups for what’s happening in this country and to me it’s frightening. I really don’t like that the President has done everything he could to incite these feelings in the last four years. I’m using the behavior of both parties to say that like it or not this is our country, it belongs to all of us. Many have died fighting for this country and we’ve had more than 200,00 plus to succumb to the coronavirus in this country. I don’t know who will win this election but I truly hope that people can come together somehow to stop this destain that’s running rampart in all areas of our country.

    • Maya says...

      I find these requests to “come together” so odd… like one side supports a white supremacist who is openly misogynistic and does not believe in science. How is the other side supposed to “come together” with them?

    • susan olivia says...

      We can’t come together with people who are actively harming us. Would you ask a sexual assault victim to “come together” with her attacker? No. Don’t ask BIPOC to come together with the people who vote to harm and continue killing them either.

  54. Love that roundup of victories! Also…

    Love wins. Always.

  55. Former reader says...

    It’s sad how out of touch both you and the liberal media are with most Americans.
    I enjoyed your site before you imposed your views as if they were the only right and decent views Americans should have. As a conservative I am open and respectful to all views and rarely speak out but this is too much.

    • Elizabeth says...

      You are right, we have been out of touch. As a white woman I had no idea how racist our country is. I know now.

    • Ileana says...

      Which part is too much – standing up for basic human rights for all of your fellow Americans? That seems like a given we should all agree with. xo

    • Julie says...

      First, this is a personal lifestyle blog, not a journalistic news site. Joanna and her staff are allowed to express their opinions and you are allowed to disagree.

      Second, you can accuse the liberal media of portraying things differently than they are but it’s very difficult to ignore what Trump says and does on Twitter, in live video, and well documented evidence of his past actions. These are not the words and actions of a decent person. There is no media of any slant needed to discern this.

      Many in my family are very conservative and I am not so sure that it’s the rest of us living in a bubble, disconnected from most Americans. I’m tired of this narrative that liberals/progressives/whatever are not REAL Americans. At the core, we care about a lot of the same issues–taking care of our families and loved ones, access to quality health care, quality education, being able to live in a safe society, being able to do work that pays a living wage, being treated fairly and with dignity and respect (this is not a comprehensive list). In voting, we are ideally choosing between candidates’ visions on how we accomplish that. In 2016, more people voted for someone other than Trump than did and it is trending that way again in 2020. So perhaps Joanna and her crew are not quite as disconnected with most Americans.

    • susan olivia says...

      Former reader, it’s not possible to be open and respectful to all while supporting a leader and party in power who oppress and condone the killing and abuse of BIPOC in this country.

    • Mouse says...

      Nothing is “imposed”. It’s a conversation. Johanna is allowed to have her part of the conversation; it’s her blog. I’m sorry that it feels so threatening to you. Your “open and respectful”-ness doesn’t actually seem to apply to this blog.

    • Elisabeth says...

      “Former reader,” if you were actually open and respectful to all views, you would not vote for a man who listens to no one and actively degrades everyone who isn’t exactly like him. Be honest.

    • Kara says...

      Shout it from the rooftops, Julie!!!! When are Trump supporters going to come out of their bubbles to understand the majority of Americans? In the past 4 years I’ve only see it go one way. (I say Trump supporters specifically because I have conservative family members who do reach out….and never even thought of voting for Trump, in 2016 or 2020.)

    • Kim says...

      Interesting you choose this article to “speak out.”

      Biden is winning, so no- it doesn’t seem like Joanna is out of touch with “most Americans.”

    • Alycia says...

      Open and respectful until you get into the voting booth!
      And last time I checked, no one is imposing their views on you. You are choosing to read them, and obviously the truth really hurts.

    • Isabelle says...

      If you were open and respectful of all views you wouldn’t have filled in the bubble next to Trump’s name.

    • Eloise says...

      “Before you imposed your views as if they were the only right and decent views Americans should have” – THIS. THIS right here is the crux of my conservative viewpoint. Blasting your viewpoint on others and accusing them of being vile racists, homophobes, uneducated, etc. if they do not agree – this is the snowball that will start barreling down the hill. This is why so many (yes, so many) fight back against liberal ideology. It is abhorrent to lay vile names on people who simply do not agree with your position.
      By labeling everyone a racist and the country as racist, the true meaning of racism is lost – how can we then fight against it? By enforcing and re-enforcing the narrative that black people are victims, victimhood is held, not abolished.
      It’s so very interesting to see just how many liberals in the comments could not possibly begin to imagine anyone ever holding views in opposition to their own. How sad to see just how small their circles really are.

  56. Alyssa says...

    I have also eaten my fair share of cheese while watching the news! I took my one-year-old daughter to the park to watch the ducks. Ultimately though, I can go to sleep peacefully because of my faith in Jesus. He sees each of our tears and knows every anxious thought.

    • Beth says...

      So true Alyssa! We are living by faith (and cheese). Take no prisoners too. x

  57. Kamina says...

    Watching along from Australia. Last night (Aus time) I had a little cry and my husband, trying to comfort me, said “it’s not our country. It won’t affect your day to day life.” I said, I’m not worried about myself! I’m weeping for oppressed minorities and division and the people who do have to live with it day to day.

    I only slept around 4 hours last night but felt much better this morning on seeing the latest numbers.

    Also, last night I read the first story from a book called “Untold Resilience” that my friend sent me. It was put together by an Australian author while she was in Covid lockdown. (In Melbourne, in order to control the pandemic, everybody in the entire city was confined to their homes for about 150 days and only allowed out for one hour per day for outdoor exercise.) THIS BOOK IS INCREDIBLY CALMING. The contributors interviewed women in their 80s and 90s about hardships they have endured during their long lives. Really put the pandemic and the election in perspective! Hard recommend. https://books.google.com.au/books/about/Untold_Resilience.html?id=2l_xDwAAQBAJ&source=kp_book_description&redir_esc=y

    (I haven’t linked to a particular retailer but it’s available to buy many places online. Jo it would be wonderful if CoJ highlights this book! It’s such a comforting read.)

  58. Beth says...

    Me too! I ate so. much. cheese. from last night into today. No need to cook it or anything- just slice it from the big block it is… and now I know why the apple sauce at the market last weekend appealed to me. I didn’t need it, but decided to put it in my cart. It kept on calling me, “Here Beth, here Beth.” Like a wild full moon. Truth! I’ve been having that too, one chilled container at a time. Only 3/6 remaining. Will it last??? No cooking needed either; just a spoon- and disposable too, if needed! These are the times. Hugs from Canada for a Biden-Harris win. You ALL deserve that to get back on track and some humane normalcy. Things have gone way too rogue. I have my cocktail waiting… xx

  59. Liana McKelvy says...

    Some things I did today:
    Drove to my mom’s house and hugged my inconsolable mom.
    Gave a lecture on the Fall of the Berlin Wall. Tried to sound convincing about how Germany is proof there are no easy solutions, tried to give concrete examples of individuals who stood up to oppression.
    Gave another talk to a language class about garden gnomes in Germany. Accidentally showed a video that included naked gnomes having sex, smoking weed etc… blushed a lot.
    Went for a dog walk (and poked myself in the eye with a twig while picking up dog poop).
    Had a conversation with (a favorite student) who voted for Trump. We argued about libertarianism for a while (we are in Montana). I rode away very inelegantly after agreeing about respect and biased media, but feeling like a HUGE failure.
    Ate a large amount of leftovers standing up in the kitchen.

    • Jen says...

      I feel like this is a poem. xo

    • Tamara says...

      ❤️ To you Liana!
      I have been teaching US history & government to teenage immigrants & refugees for the last 20 years. I’m pretty sure after this week, the last 4 years, they all must think I lied to them about rights of citizenship requiring responsibility (everyone can quickly name their rights but are hard pressed to discuss responsibilities as citizens) & checks & balances working.😞

    • agnes says...

      You sound like such a great professor! I teach Philosophy I get the frustration and amazing moments… the video of the gnomes oh my gosh!! You will so laugh about that in a few weeks! Bravo.

  60. I’ve been watching the coverage and also hopeful for a democratic win. Let’s keep our fingers crossed! It’s quite shocking Trump still has so many supporters.

  61. suki says...

    Yay cheese. I’m eating a giant wedge of triple cream brie right now to celebrate one of the ultimate goddesses and the French Democratic Ideal: the Statue of Liberty. Red wine. That and “Couch to 5k”. Tomorrow.

    • joy says...

      Celebrating the Statue of Liberty and what she stands for is fitting. The gift from France was originally in honor of the end of chattel slavery in the United States.

    • Madi says...

      I’m feeling wobbly today… I’m in my first trimester of my second pregnancy, and I have no emotional reserves left, between hormones and the election and COVID and all the things. I broke down around lunch- big, gulping sobs- and ended up taking some “mental health time” off work for the afternoon. I had a long convo with a dear friend, full of tears and laughter, and then ended up eating brownies and working on my first ever paint-by-numbers (inspired by the recent cozy spaces post!) while listening to Terrible, Thanks for Asking. I’m still teary and anxious, but having the chance to take a deep breath in steadied me a bit.

  62. Jean says...

    Minnesotan here, also very concerned about Omar and her anti-semitic views and past. It’s terrifying how mainstream hatred of Jews and casually dropping harmful stereotypes is getting. It’s not okay and, though I’m a Democrat, I feel she is unfit to lead, does not represent me, and is a threat to peace.

    • Sara says...

      I echo your fears as a liberal Jew.

    • Jemma says...

      She’s not antisemitic. She’s speaking truth to power.

    • Lindsay says...

      I agree

    • Sarah says...

      ^ THANK YOU, Jean. Many Jewish people here have been feeling increasingly unsafe. I want so hard to root for her, but bigotry of any form is not ok.

    • Yael says...

      With the exception of Pressley, all “squad” members have an antisemitism problem, invoking antisemitic tropes, blood libel, etc. As a Democrat the antisemitism on the left is disheartening, but I believe in working hard to keep members of our party accountable for their views. We cannot stop talking about this.

      As the President of Yeshiva University said at an event to mark 30 days since Yitzchak Rabin’s murder discussing extremism in the Jewish community (Rabin was murdered by a fellow Jew). “Yes, they were weeds in the garden, but it was OUR garden”. The same sentiment can be applied to the Democratic party. We MUST root out the weeds in our garden and stay vigilant and not shirk responsibility.

    • Lela says...

      Sorry, this is not true. She is pro-Palestine but she does not hate Jews.

    • Lisa says...

      Same

    • Liz says...

      I urge you to find and read some long-form, balanced reporting on her comments that offer context to past statements she has made. She has used charged language to be sure, but she also appears to be singled out for her remarks perhaps because she is a female Muslim refugee. I live in her district. We should be concerned about a rise in anti-semitism but there are white men in congress using the same charged language as she with no repercussions. And anti-Muslim sentiments remain terrifyingly high, and there are apparently no rebukes for those.

    • Kate says...

      I am not Jewish, but grew up involved with christianity. During that time, I was always directed by the church to support Israel. I am no longer religious and now feel there are a lot of problems with Netanyahu and Israel’s policies toward Palestine. I have also been very concerned with laws in places like Texas, Kansas and Arizona limiting free speech regarding Israel/Palestine. I’m not asking in an aggressive or confrontational way, I’m just trying to better understand the difference between political criticism and being anti-semitic. Based on the research I’ve done, there are some people who mask anti-semitism with political criticism of Israel (which is wrong), but political criticism of Israel does not automatically make someone anti-semitic. Would you say this is correct?

      More on those laws, for those who have not heard of them:
      https://theintercept.com/2019/04/26/in-case-brought-by-school-speech-pathologist-texas-federal-court-becomes-the-third-to-strike-down-pro-israel-oath-as-unconstitutional/

      https://theintercept.com/2018/12/17/israel-texas-anti-bds-law/

      And some links about criticizing Israel vs anti-semitism (both these articles are from orgs that claim to be non-partisan; however, if anyone knows more about them than I do, please correct that) :
      https://ips-dc.org/criticizing-israel-isnt-anti-semitic-heres-what-is/
      https://mepc.org/anti-zionism-anti-semitic-jewish-critics-speak

    • Lisa R says...

      This, times a thousand. It’s tough because yes, I want to celebrate the good that these ladies are accomplishing. But often you have to take the good with the bad. When the bad is *literally* blatant anti-semitism? No, that’s not okay.
      We don’t take the “good” with a casual side of racism. Or justify someone’s homophobia with the positives they’ve accomplished. Why is this different when it comes to Jew hated?

      Also Lela: Omar doesn’t need to say the words “I hate Jews” to hate Jewish people. She has said incredible discriminatory things regarding Jewish people, that frankly if were said against any other minority, she would be “cancelled” for.

    • Toni says...

      Lela, please check your facts. Read Omar’s tweets, apologies, statements. Policies aside, she should use generalizations about Jews or nasty slurs against Jews. Ever. Period.

    • Rebecca says...

      Thank you for saying this Jean. I have felt this so much too.

    • NM says...

      Important information:

      Yes, anti-Muslim sentiment is indeed a huge problem.

      But if you look as actual statistics for hate crimes in the US, you will see that the vast majority are against Jews.

      Antisemitism far eclipses anti-Islam in actual hate crime incidents. About 4x as many.

    • Eric says...

      AOC has refused to meet with mainstream Jewish groups for 2 years and only listens to Jewish groups who demonize Israel.
      The Squad is no friend to the Jewish community – the only one who actually isn’t antisemitic is Ayana Pressley.
      Listen to Jews on this; Minorities define the bigotry against them. Speaking down to Jews and telling them what is and isn’t antisemitism, is a form of gaslighting and that in itself is antisemitic.
      It’s really easy to criticize Israel without using antisemitic tropes; there is also a significant difference between criticizing Israel policy or actions in specific ways and believing it has no right to exist, which is what anti-zionism espouses. Hoping for or believing that Israel shouldn’t exist is antisemitic; Israel is the only protection for Jewish people in this world.

    • Sara says...

      Jemma, you are invoking an anti-Semitic trope yourself. You might have done that unintentionally but it would be worthwhile for you to listen to Jewish voices on this issue and educate yourself.