1. Sonia says...

    Haha we go crazy in New Zealand! Remember one Christmas piously telling my best friend / co worker not to keep topping up my wineglass as I couldn’t track my drinking. He said the next time he saw me I was drinking tequila from a bottle :).

  2. This post has ‘Mad Men’ written all over it! Love it!

  3. Hahaha, I can so relate to all the English people’s comments on here. I’m English and work in London. It’s like a social faux-pas not to get really drunk at my work Christmas do, whether you want to or not! You’d be seen as boring if you didn’t get very tipsy and silly! Talk about cultural differences!
    Saskia x

  4. Oh yes I LOVE that inforgraphic of the drinks and who can drink what! Too funny! Have you seen the list by Anna Lefler > Predictions for This Year’s Holiday Office Party

    It’s a hilarious read and soo fun to see what will happen at your office party (just try not to wear the outfit from #2 LOL)

  5. This is funny! I’m from England and used to work at an animation studio in London. First Christmas party involved lunch at a posh private club followed by a whole afternoon and evening of drinking. Needless to say, everyone from the boss down to the relative newbies got stinkingly drunk. I think that’s the way in the UK. On my way home I fell down the steps in Leicester Square tube station and threw up in Earls Court. Classy.

    I didn’t repeat this the next year!

  6. hahah, hysterical! We had our company office party last night and our company coffee shop was selling hangover cures this morning. I work for a “cool” company and our parties are usually off the hook- for example, when we walked in to the party last night we were handed a glass and a cirque de soleil performer hanging upside down poured champagne into it!
    Hoping for an early dismissal…

  7. This is HILARIOUS! I just sent it to my old co-workers.

  8. honorate, yes! haha, my friend says freelancers should get a box of wine to themselves. :)

  9. this is hilarious! i just e-mailed the chart to my boyfriend, who has spent the past 2 weeks planning his corporate christmas party! thank goodness nannies are personal hires, we’d need another nanny for the grown ups alone!

  10. kate, NO WAY! that is crazy/awesome/bizarre, i’m sure your brother’s party is going to be super fun this year:)

  11. too funny! I have our xmas party on Satuday and I think i have to end this picture out to my coworkers. Generally my policy {even though i’m in management} is to drink a couple of glasses of wine but no more. No one wants to see their boss, or coworker loser-pissed.

  12. Jaimie says...

    I’m a cog in the machine at a cool company! Ding ding! Our office party is tonight and this chart gives me the green light to get wasted :) (mostly kidding … I plan to just get to that ‘pleasantly tipsy’ stage).

  13. Call me crazy, but I just can not drink at office parties. I am working at the same office about five years and still director is giving me one glass of wine and no more :)))) cha cha, but when I am with friends or my girls.. oh dear.. one glass ?! NO no one battle I guess, of course not all ways, but sometimes on girls or friends nights .. especially with good dishes on the tables …

  14. At my old job, one of my co-workers got so wasted he started what can only be described as a sexcually suggestive dance. He went from woman to woman on the dance floor (including the boss’ wife). When he came to work the next day, he was clearly still hung over, smelled, and was in a lot of pain – apparently his knees hurt.

  15. office parties are inherently awkward. i try to be semi-drunk but try to hold together at the same time :)

  16. Very handy. I miss having an office party too! One of the downers of being self employed. The hubs and I will have to have party of our own. Drink up!

  17. This is so hilarious yet so true. My company’s holiday party is next week but i don’t like to get too drunk. My coworkers on the other hand…well that’s a different story. lol

  18. Providential says...

    Not drunk enough.

  19. I accidentally got wasted at one of my office parties. Fortunately all the management knew to leave early. We even got another office party to join us on the dance floor. There was a d.d. though- my coworkers daughter!! So it was actually a fun time..

  20. AWKWARD! Ha, I’m forwarding this along to my coworkers and boss now, I guess that makes it a “cool” company?? I’m skilled labor, CHEERS!

  21. Haha this is brilliant! I was actually talking about this this morning, as my brother has his first ever Christmas party in his first job. My parents were warning him not to get too drunk, but at the last work party his boss took off her dress and threw it into the crowd during karaoke!!

  22. this could not have come at a better time! My company holiday party is tonight!

  23. Not sure where all these rumored crazy office parties are. Mine are always lame lame lame so I avoid avoid avoid!

  24. I love this chart! Too cute. And so funny how accurate it is. I especially love the end, regarding interns. Anyone who has been an intern in the past can really appreciate that. :)

  25. Our party is next week but it’s a luncheon at the office so I’m assuming no alcohol? It’s my first year here so we shall see!

  26. So funny! My coworkers and I were referring to this chart earlier this week since our holiday party is this weekend. Although we work at a “cool company” and people drink in the office everyday, so things are pretty relaxed :)

  27. haha, really funny! I have to show it to my flatmate, she has today her Office party :)

  28. This is soooo funny! I’m from germany and used to work in a office before I had my little one. We had a very “fun” party, which ended on the Reeperbahn in the Dollhouse (Hamburg). Everybody got drunk accept me. I was fresh pregnant and had just stand it! There are a lot of funny pictures of my at that time bosses!!! Everyone got a mail next monday to delete every single picture :-)
    Thank you Joanna, for reminding me of this grandiose party!

  29. annie says...

    This made me laugh out loud and the comments even more so.
    Happy Holidays, everybody, from cold, wet and windy England.

  30. This chart is hilarious! My bosses get more drunk than than the entire office crew!

  31. Oh I’m English and so I’d be ‘Cog in the machine’ uncool drunk. You’re right about us being bigger boozers than you, my brother lives in New York and we’ve had a few reckless nights out that must have scared the locals!

  32. Ivy says...

    Isn’t this sort of classist? The “cog in the machine” doesn’t matter and can get wasted, while the all-important “boss” maintains some decorum?

  33. Seeing as how I’m an adviser to a college newspaper, we didn’t have any alcohol at our party on Monday hahaha ;)

  34. so, my company’s on the uncool list, and (hilariously) the senior mgmt really did only have one glass each of wine at our xmas party…it’s like the chart is psychic or something. ha!

  35. So funny- I am *planning* our office party and that includes stupid planning meetings, so my question is (since there’s a wine bar above our office), how drunk can one get at the planning meeting *about* the office party?!

  36. At my old job we used to get blasted, including the boss. It was such a fun group of people. It’s also where I met my husband, we would close the place down.

  37. I am IN the office currently as an intern for the federal government in DC and think this is hysterical! Ironically, however, I feel that I probably deserve to be at the bottom of the pyramid for holiday office party fun because I am reading your blog instead of typing up notes!

  38. We’re just having lunch all together. No parties :(

    But for sure everybody gets drunk and noone works in the afternoon (well isn’t it the part of the game:) as usual, with read wine, cuz most of us are French: so I suppose we’re an uncool company :)


  39. I’m British and you guys are right anything goes at our christmas parties although my American friends seem to adopt the “when in Rome” approach when over here!

  40. Becca says...

    This totally reminded me of the wild holiday parties Sterling Cooper has on “Mad Men.” I used to work a lot of events for my job, and made it a rule of thumb, that I should always have a drink in hand because it encouraged constituents to have one as well, and therefore loosen up a bit. I agree with Martie that I’m very hesitant about drinking in work situations (as living out a “Mad Men” party would not be a great habit to make), but I did become queen of the fake libation – a glass of flat ginger ale (white wine), or a sparkling water with lime (gin and tonic!) would always do the trick :)


  41. That is hilarious. Looks like it’s not so bad after all to be a cog in the machine:) I miss office camaraderie too!

  42. I am everything from Intern up to Senior Management… so do I get them all ?! :)

  43. Apropos timing as my company party is next Friday…at the Ritz! Open bar, here I come :)

  44. omg, i totally agree about england vs. the US — my relatives and friends in england are SUCH boozers, it’s way more acceptable there to drink with colleagues. also, everyone — even my grandmother — has a gin & tonic before dinner. :)

  45. Hahaha this is hilarious and rather helpful. Though, I think everyone in my office adds on a couple more to the recommended amount. Management just does not have a lot of perks when it comes to the drinking it appears.
    Much love,

  46. I love this! I’m a recent expat from England to NYC and have noticed that the alcohol consuption levels are MUCH more reserved here. In my first job out of University, my BOSS go so wrecked at the Christmas party that he didn’t show up to work the next day, nor did any of my senior colleagues. Can’t see that being acceptable here!

  47. I love the “Print this out & take it with you part” at the bottom as if someone would forget and need to refer back to it during the party. The cogs one is hilarious.

  48. nice to be pregnant this year and avoid any mishaps:) i’ll just park myself near the chocolate fountain and call it a day.

  49. Hilarious chart. I´ve never been to those office parties either. To be honest I think it is unprofessional to get drunk in front of coworkers.

  50. That chart is hilarious!

    I’m always afraid to get drunk (or red spots on my face) so I drink not too much at an office party, only 2 wines or so.

    X Mandy


  51. Oh this is so funny because we had our office Christmas party yesterday and our CEO (who is British and tends to get very drunk at such parties) sent this out to the whole company right before the party! Luckily, it’s easy for us cogs in the machine…