Design

Have a Lovely Weekend.

dean the basset

What are you up to this weekend? Toby’s getting a haircut, and we’re going to eat lunch outside at Franks Wine Bar. I’m looking forward to sunny skies. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…

This sweater is so pretty (and this is THE color right now).

Six screenwriters on the hardest endings they ever wrote. (Fyi, some spoilers.)

Devouring this book. Wow.

Why the filet o’fish is my gold standard of fast food.” (New York Times)

A cute and colorful Berlin kitchen.

Ted Lasso’s season two trailer.

How fit can you get from just walking? (Answer: Very.)

Funny National Park posters based on bad reviews.

How cool is this candle subscription? (Especially into this desert-themed scent.)

There will be two types of post-pandemic socializers. (The Atlantic)

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Yulia on Michelle Zauner’s beauty uniform: “I remember reading Michelle Zauner’s ‘Crying in H Mart‘ essay in the New Yorker in August 2018 and loving it so, so much that I printed it out. I still reread it periodically. Years ago when I first moved, I used to go to Eastern European grocery stores whenever I missed my family. I’d browse the aisles of pickled vegetables and tisanes and idly listen to the women chatting about nothing in particular in the way Russians and Ukrainians do. It would feel like being in a room of aunts.”

Says K on making peace with my quarantine body: “I’ve felt an overwhelming amount of grief about my weight gain, like I lost ‘the real me.’ I got married this summer at my lowest weight since high school, and I felt so confident then. But as my friend’s mom would say, I got ‘fat and happy’ very quickly in my marriage. But then my sweet friend’s mom said to me, ‘Honey, I think you’ve been stressed your whole life. You’ve finally relaxed and let your body be. Buy new clothes and feel beautiful. Because you are loved.’ It was the kindest thing. And I’m going to. Thanks, Kim, for inspiring me to start with a bikini.”

(Photo of Dean the Basset.)

  1. Jennifer says...

    Awww the feature photo reminds me of my mom’s beagle Jasper. He recently died from a very painful disease of his spine. My mom had Jasper for almost 10 years. She lives in Tennessee and I live in Michigan and I just felt awful because I couldn’t be there with her. My mom lives alone and I haven’t been able to see her since the pandemic. So I called a good friend of mine who lives about 25 minutes away from my mom. She went to be with my mom at the animal hospital so my mom didn’t have to be alone. My mom ended up staying with Jasper for several hours before it was time to say a final goodbye. (Thankful to the animal hospital for letting my mom have extra time with Jasper.) I wish I could have been with my mom, but I am so thankful my friend went in my place. My mom really needed the support. xoxo

  2. Sherrie says...

    I read Consent – based on your recommendation. Wow! How could that have happened as recently as the 80’s?? How is French society so accepting? Who can I pose my million questions to? :)

  3. Erin Freeman says...

    If you love Chanel’s book, you will LIVE for her illustrations. So talented in so many ways!

    • Megan says...

      Agreed! After reading her book I became her new biggest fan and her art is so good. I kept waiting for COJ to feature her and the book. She’s a national treasure!

  4. Cindy says...

    Oh my gosh, that’s my dog, Dewey Louis! We inherited him from our college age son many years ago, but he was all ours. One day, I came home and found him relaxing on the sofa watching TV with his huge paw on the remote. We certainly do miss him.

  5. Nicole A. says...

    Regarding getting fit with walking: in college, I never had a car. I live in Oklahoma, which is not very good about public transportation. Therefore, I walked to work, school, just about anywhere I needed to go for about five years. I got asked if I was a ballerina (also due to my constant food service bun) or a runner once and awhile. Once at a nail salon the woman asked if I wanted to keep my calluses, and assumed I was a dancer. Alas, not actually athletic, I was just an avid pedestrian.

  6. jen says...

    yes, everyone should read that book. amazing and so beautifully written.

  7. Tracy M. says...

    Speaking of devouring a book, I just tore through “Between Two Kingdoms” and would love to see a beauty uniform or general interview with Suleika!

  8. Kat says...

    I would love to see a Beauty Uniform with Channel Miller. She’s my hero!

    • Brittny says...

      Would love this too!!

  9. Yulia says...

    It is such a sweet feeling to be featured in the reader comment highlights. Unexpected and just really sweet. Thank you. <3

  10. Kristin says...

    Know My Name is one of the best books I’ve ever read, for so many different reasons. I’m glad you’re reading it!

  11. Amy says...

    I sent the Ted Lasso trailer to friends who are as obsessed as I am. One of them responded, “I am convinced that all of our problems would disappear if Ted Lasso had new seasons every month,” to which another friend replied, “If that helps bring out the Ted Lasso in all of us, I think you’re on to something.” I can’t wait to watch season 2 – what a gift season 1 was when I discovered it this winter!!

  12. Lauren E. says...

    That comment on letting your body be made me tear up. I love this community.

  13. Lori says...

    So glad to see you highlight Amber Share’s National Park artwork. Her instagram account was a lifesaver during the first part of home quarantine. I would open it and read the poster titles to my husband and we would crack up. And the artwork itself is gorgeous!

  14. Rosie says...

    I had to laugh at the posters….its as if a moody teenager was right next to me!

  15. Karli says...

    Hi CoJ team,
    I have a conundrum that I think would be an interesting post: My group of friends seems offended that I don’t want to celebrate my birthday with them (TL;DR I have lots of good friends spread all around (a lovely problem to have, for sure) but this is a group who enjoy celebrating together). I wondered if you might put it out there for your community. I know there are many people who are still having lockdown birthdays so maybe it could be an ‘alternate ways to celebrate’. Just a thought xx

    • Andrea says...

      Give them your half birthday. Win win.

  16. AN says...

    Devoured (pun intended!) the Filet-o-Fish article! As poor AF immigrants way back in the ’80s, McDonald’s was the momentous and first “going out to dinner” we ever had as a family–a real treat. It’s always and forever been my favorite and the only McD’s offering I relish with unabashed joy the rare times I indulge in it these days (with fries and Coke, duh).

  17. DEAN IS THE BEST!! My brother gets me his yearly calendar each Christmas. His YouTube videos bring me so much joy. Highly recommend consuming as much Dean the basset content as possible (and his friend Chief!)

  18. Rachel says...

    Adding that to my reading list! I just finished Little Matches by Maryanne O’Hara…it’s a new memoir, could not put that down.

  19. Megan says...

    I highly recommend the audiobook of Know My Name. Chanel narrates it and there is so much power in hearing her voice carry the story.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      That’s amazing!

    • Lanette says...

      I second Megan’s recommendation. Please listen to the audio book. Purely amazing and so powerful.

  20. Eleanor Frances says...

    I read the book I KNOW MY NaME 6 months ago and I still think Chanel Miller often. At her young age, she has already made the world a better place by sharing her deeply personal story. I recommend this book to all. Just think, if this book were required reading for all high school students, ……………………….

    Thank god Trump is no longer in office to change back the laws in regard to sexual assault and rape.

    • Becky says...

      I hear what you are saying about high schoolers reading a book like Say My Name. Consent and respect should be taught early on, even earlier than high school. That should be mandatory. However I am going to respectfully disagree about having this as a mandatory reading. Perhaps highly suggested instead with involvement of parents and guidance counselors available if needed. I recently uncovered periods of abuse in my childhood. Something triggered a memory that led me further and further down the path. I physically felt the anxiety and fear of the memory. I remembered where I was in the room. As a 30 something year old I was able to deal with this memory safely. I told my husband. I told a therapist then I told my best friend. If I had uncovered that memory as a teen I don’t think I would have dealt with it very well. The topic has to be discussed but to require such a heavy topic as a grade I’m not so sure about that. But open to hearing anyone else’s thoughts on it.

    • HA says...

      Becky, I think I agree with you. I’ve been hearing so much about this book, and I want to read it (I think), but I know what memory it will bring up and I’m afraid to dig up the feelings. I’m probably not yet at a place where I can read Chanel’s book, even as a 30-something with many years of therapy so far. It’s hard for me to know how I’ll react to this book because I don’t know if the positive reviewers have experienced an assault like I have.

  21. Natalie says...

    I listened to Know My Name on audiobook & found it riveting. Chanel Miller is a beautiful, strong writer and tells her painful story with such dignity and grace. I highly recommend listening to it versus reading it. She is such a hero ❤️

    • Franny says...

      Agree 100%, I listened on audio, too. It was honest and heartbreaking (and made me so angry). Chanel Miller’s strength and wisdom are inspiring and I am so grateful that she chose to share her story.

  22. Hayley says...

    Would it be possible to do a post about caring for and embracing one’s postpartum body? How it changes both internally (pelvic floor, hips, vaginally lubrication or lack thereof) and externally (floppy breasts, drastically aged skin, pouchy lower belly with inelastic flesh that I can crumple up between my two palms..) I am finding it harder than expected..

    • Rosalie says...

      Samesies.

    • Rae says...

      Hayley, I think this is a great idea for a post. I too was caught off-guard by many of the changes. My prenatal (and then post natal) yoga instructor did stress to all of us soon to be mamas that the postpartum period last about two years. This was really comforting for me to remember as I struggled to regain my energy and endurance as well as dealing with ongoing pelvic floor issues etc.
      Two years postpartum I did indeed find that many of the changes from pregnancy had evolved or softened. I no longer looked like someone who had just given birth and I felt stronger and energetic (just in time to get pregnant again).

    • Lisa says...

      Yes! This! Me too. And I think it’s not just how I feel, it’s that others are judging my (lack of) weight loss.

    • JT says...

      Nothing to share here other than solidarity. I had never really dealt with anything more than occasional migraines prior to pregnancy, and now, postpartum, my body can feel like a constant “issue.” Honestly the appearance stuff has not even bothered me compared to a cramping uterus (just got my period back coooool), leaking/aching boobs, back pain, and hemorrhoids oh my. Trying to be chill about it and not freak out that I might feel this way forever. Such a beautiful but hard time.

    • Molly says...

      I am on my third postpartum journey and still struggling with body changes. I look in the mirror and recognize there is a beautiful woman looking back but can only focus on what she has lost and given up.

    • Caitlin says...

      Yes to this idea!!!

      If you’re looking for good postpartum pelvic floor info, I love @ladybirdpt on IG. She is so informative and just lovely! Wish I had discovered her before having my first kiddo.

  23. Cheryl says...

    Those national park poster ads are incredibly poignant! I love it! I couldn’t help but picture planet Earth from space with the title “Overhyped.” Or, Reviews from the Afterlife, Human Existence: “Not Worth The Stress”.
    So fascinating how perspectives impact a shared experience completely. Like Tabitha Brown says, “you can’t expect someone else to see out of your prescription lenses. Those were made for you.”
    God, I hope I am seeing the absolute magic in this crazy life.

    • NM says...

      What a phenomenal comment.
      And—
      ‘Reviews from the Afterlife, Human Existence: “Not Worth The Stress”.’

      Oh my goodness.

    • Meg says...

      “God, I hope I am seeing the absolute magic in this crazy life.” I can see your sense of humor and your self-reflection just from this comment Cheryl, so I feel confident that you are!

    • Sarah says...

      This comment is GOLD

  24. Abbie says...

    Have a wonderful weekend Jo and team. Thank you for this site and all the joy it brings to all of us!

  25. Julie says...

    I love this space and your team’s efforts to be active, educated, and empathetic. It does not go unappreciated (and, of course, neither do recommendations for great books and media!).

  26. Molly G says...

    Dean the basset! He is one of my favorite accounts on Instagram. As a fellow Basset Hound owner it always makes me smile to see another magnificent hound!

  27. Kayla says...

    COJ Team!
    Thank you for your effort- this week and always. The vulnerability, transparency, and kindness displayed by your whole team, is something I am always in awe of and encouraged by. It’s easy to loose sight of the fact real people with real lives and very real hearts are the pulse of so many things we take part in on the online, wacky universe. Thank you for providing this wonderful space and inviting us all in to share it.
    Enjoy your weekend!

    • Heather says...

      YES! So well said – thank you for all you do!

    • AN says...

      agree, agree, agree! thanks, COJ team <3

  28. A says...

    I JUST FINISHED TED LASSO AND I LOVED IT SO FREAKING MUCH!! I NEED TO BE BACK IN THAT WORLD IMMEDIATELLLLLLLLY. CANT WAIT!!!!

    • Sarah says...

      I SOBBED when the last episode ended. It really helped me get through a rough patch of 2020, and not having another episode to look forward to hit me in the heart. I am saving this trailer for a sad day so I can feel the Ted Lasso hope again.

  29. Jodie says...

    Randomly picked up Know My Name at the library and it is so good!

  30. M says...

    That sweater is so pretty! So I’m going to order it! 😀😀😀

  31. Lauren says...

    This weekend I am taking my rookie crack at the American Crossword Puzzle Tournament, a competition I was so excited to join last year (before it was cancelled) that I bought a vintage Cameo “Word Up” shirt and did all my training puzzles in it. Despite my devotion to crosswords, I had no idea the ACPT is, like, THE crossword puzzle tournament – so when I registered I was like, “maybe I’ll win?” Yeah, these cats beat puzzle-solving artificial intelligence. They can take down Sunday puzzles in the time it takes me to use the bathroom. I’m going to get totally shellacked, but it’s a pandemic-postponed thing that I’m excited as hell to finally do (albeit virtually), and I’m going to wear my “Word Up” shirt (which I cut the sleeves off of because these crossword-puzzling deadly weapons merit a muscle tee, obviously).

    • Maddie Alder says...

      omg I love all of this so much. I hope you have so much fun! You’ll look killer in your muscle tee.

    • Sarah says...

      Woooohoooo, go Lauren!! That sounds awesome – enjoy. And I love the sound of your outfit – dressed to kill 😀

    • Megan says...

      Love this so much! Go Lauren! I am doing a crossword now 😀Have a blast and good luck!!

    • Rosalie says...

      You are so cool! I’m cheering for you to win!

    • Tovah says...

      OMG Lauren, I am also competing today for the first time in the ACPT!!! (And had the same journey as you, from hubris to… humility? As my son just reminded me, it’s fun to try your best even if you don’t win :))

      I’ll be thinking of you when I log on today; good luck!!!

    • Lauren says...

      Tovah, I hope you killed it! I would have done alright if I had realized that (as mentioned in the livestreamed intro I didn’t see) you have to start each puzzle within 60 seconds of it going online, but I took my sweet time to log in…and 3 of my 7 scores were disqualified, oh, it burns! That said, I had 5 clean puzzles, just one mistake on the buzzsaw that was Puzzle 5, and – most importantly – watched a 19-year-old Canadian perform crossword standup in the Stamford Marriott basement, saw a PowerPoint presentation that was like 60% emails from Will Shortz, and heard a crossword-themed rap about Theseus and the Minotaur that made me cackle. See you in person next year, I hope!

  32. Becky says...

    Hoping you will correct the link to the book you are devouring? My interest is piqued!

  33. S says...

    Know My Name was one of the best books I’ve read in recent years – it blew me away.

  34. K says...

    MY COMMENT MADE IT TO THE FRIDAY ROUNDUP!!!! WAHOO!
    xoxo to everyone else who is learning to let their body be!!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      xoxoxoxoxo

    • Sage says...

      It made me cry, I’m glad it was selected. :) enjoy your love together!!

  35. Janey says...

    You should add ‘spoilers’ to the six screenwriters link! :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      done!

    • Helen says...

      Thanks for adding spoilers to the link! Would you also mind noting when you link articles to NY Magazine since we only get an allotted amount if we’re not subscribers?

  36. Samantha says...

    I recently bought a treadmill to go along with my standing desk WFH set up.
    I’m averaging about 5 miles a day and I feel amazing! I was previously having a lot of heartburn and digestion issues, but since I got the treadmill I haven’t had any of that!
    Before covid I was a pretty avid (amateur) weight lifter, but it’s been very hard to find the mental energy to pick up weights this past year.
    With the treadmill, I can incorporate healthy movement into my already scheduled day, instead of adding something else to my to-do list.

  37. Lela says...

    Absolutely love this blog and all the content you all have been putting out—I read it every day and it’s a small slice of joy, so thank you :)

    I did just want to point out that the article about getting fit from walking—while I’m sure it was posted with the best intentions—does focus a lot on weight loss, which is ironic considering the wonderful post from yesterday about body acceptance and feeling ok about weight gain. Walking is amazing and a great form of exercise, but the article does frame it through the lens of losing weight and simultaneously controlling calorie intake. I wonder if that article is the best thing to be sharing on a site that is otherwise so committed to making its readers feel good about themselves and their bodies. Just a thought :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh I’m so sorry! yes, you’re so right — and since the start of this site 14 years ago, I have adamantly stayed away from content about weight loss or diets in any way. we’ve even blacklisted banner advertisements with that content. I’m going to swap it out with a similar article about walking that doesn’t focus as much on weight loss. thank you!!

    • R says...

      Seconded!! And thanks Joanna for such a warm response and editing the content.

    • Emma says...

      Thanks for this comment, and for your reply, Joanna! As a reader (of 10+ years) who’s recovered from anorexia, I consider your choice to keep CoJ free of diet culture one of the (many) reasons I feel safe and included here. Thank you!

    • Not a thin person says...

      Feeling good about ourselves and our bodies shouldn’t come at the cost of fatty liver disease, heart issues, and diabetes, which comes with age. Focusing on food, body mass, and fitness is important as we get older. No need to avoid topics of weight loss and getting fitter either.

    • Melinda says...

      Thank you for your note here Joanna! I’ve never noticed before, but perhaps the deiberate absence of diet content is one of the reasons your site has always felt safe to me. xx

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      <3 <3 <3

  38. JM says...

    Subpar Parks is the best! Amber’s designs are so good.