Relationships

What Do You Like About Yourself?

Elaine grace

It’s a cold January day. Let’s take a moment to chat about something fun: What do you like about yourself? I’ll go first…

I like that I try hard to see my children for who they are, not who I imagine them to be. I’m always curious about their quirks and observations and personal style. (Like, Toby wearing American flag pants for three years, ha!) I love watching them grow into their own people. (P.S. Why is it so hard to say things we like about ourselves? That paragraph look me 30 minutes to write!)

When we asked a similar question five years ago, we got some beautiful reader answers…

Says Suzi: “I have a motto: ‘Do it scared. Do it tired.’ I live according to my values and I show up for my life. I won’t back down from doing something if the reasons are fear or being tired.”

Says Tara: “One of my elementary students just wrote a poem about me saying that I ‘make everything feel so safe.'”

Says Julie: “That I read fast and never apologize for reading books that are considered ‘trash.'”

Says Denise: “I am a fantastic walker. I can walk for miles and miles.”

Says Ali: “While I may be a bad host (I always host an awkward party), I am a KILLER guest. Games – I’m down! Lull in conversation, I’m in there! Jokes – I’m laughing! I basically just love my enthusiasm.”

Please share yours below — I would love to hear. xoxo

P.S. What’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to you?

  1. Laurel says...

    I love stories and am good at re-telling them. If I’ve read a book I liked, I can explain what happened, why it was engrossing, etc.

    • Min says...

      I love that

  2. Daniela says...

    I like that I never stop learning. I’m forever taking classes and programs as well as researching in my own time.

    • janine says...

      Yes!!! I’m the same way!

  3. Lee says...

    I make space for myself. It used to be hard but, I’ve been more intentional about it. Physical space, time, mental space… it is a way to show yourself you matter.

  4. Tanya says...

    For most of my career I’ve been a behind the scenes person. Always giving ideas to others to get consensus and then putting in the work to bring them to life. I was too scared to speak up in meetings or give presentations. I was always more comfortable away from the spotlight. Two years ago, I decided it was time to leave my comfort zone…for better or worse. I sought out a job that required me to use skills that I’ve been too afraid to use – leading meetings, driving projects forward, giving presentations. This has been extremely challenging and something I continue to work on, but I’m proud that I willing to do hard things and push myself even when I’m terrified. I’m also proud of myself for starting therapy. It has opened up a world of self-acceptance and healing that I’ve craved for years.

  5. Danielle B says...

    I love my hands. They aren’t particularly “model” hands, but my fingers are long and I think my nail beds are pretty. I love all the things I can do with my hands such as comfort my son by stroking his hair across his face. (He also has my long fingers and pretty nail beds – which I am pretty thrilled about)

  6. Emily says...

    I like that I am good at setting boundaries and sticking to them. I like that I am a better teacher than I thought I would be. Not that I am some magically wonderful teacher, but I am pretty good at it and the interpersonal stuff comes way more naturally than I thought it would. I like that I am an excellent planner. I like that I’m getting better at pushing myself out of my comfort zone and that I say yes to a lot of things I would have said no to in the past.

  7. Megan Lec says...

    I like my confidence and that I don’t hide how I feel. There have been times in my life when others told me that being emotional was wrong. That it would hold me back in some way. Now though I realize, being my authentic self will only ever help me. I’m also great at little presents or surprises. I can always think of something small to make someone else smile. My superpower is sending friends and family surprise coffees.

  8. Karen says...

    I like that I try to live by my word and my actions. I like to make things lighter and brighter with kindness and humor. I like that I’m dependable.

  9. M says...

    I like that that I am self aware and good at reading my own emotions and needs. I love that I have a healthy level of self confidence and I’m good at pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I love my love for learning. I also love that I am a very devoted friend, daughter, and sister. I care deeply about things and people, and although this is often emotionally overwhelming, I like that I have such a big heart. I really like being me :)

  10. ABC says...

    – I like my smile, dimple, and skin.
    – I like that I am the founder & CEO of a 7-figure business and generally think work is pretty easy
    – I like that I’m not scared of money
    – I like that I like pleasure
    – I like that I’m a great host
    – I like that I’m an avid reader
    – I like that I’m good at taking care of plants
    – I like that I’m a little woo-woo
    – I like that I’m a great cook
    – I like that I do whatever I want and I don’t care what others think about it

    • Eva says...

      Congrats on your business! That is amazing!

  11. Jaimie says...

    I like that I am gutsy, having pursued and maintained a career in a ridiculously competitive field and moving halfway around the world for true love. I am dynamite at memorizing (lines, lyrics, facts, you name it). I’m good at making people laugh, especially my husband. I’m a great improvisational chef, like my mom. I give genuine compliments unreservedly, like my dad.

  12. Anna says...

    I have never been a cryer but these days I’m crying at the drop of a hat. I dont know if this is just hormones or this emotional time we are living in but I hope it stays…. I like it. Also because I’ve never been very emotionally expressive I’ve learned to communicate my feelings and I like that about myself too. I appreciate the people who believe what I say even though I might not be expressing it in a typical way.

  13. Linh N Taylor says...

    I’m innately a selfish person but manage to do everything and treat everyone with love and kindness. Occasionally, I still fall back into my old self. But I’m proud of my new self for keep trying and growing into a kind & beautiful person.

    • Diane says...

      this made me cry. beautiful and very honest. I relate so much.

    • Min says...

      I can relate and I feel I’m still on this journey. Thank you for putting it so well.

  14. Jenica says...

    I tried to think of something noble; something I do that others love that helps the world in some way. I couldn’t think of sh*t and got bored. Then I read how Grace likes that she is good at doing nothing and relaxing, and I realized that I could be self indulgent. Immediately I realized what I love about myself:

    I love that when I find something I really enjoy, I let myself wholly and obsessively love the thing, and I brazenly share my excitement with (almost) every person in my life.

    The younger me would have been self-conscious of divulging my enthusiasm (is this cool? acceptable? embarrassing?). 29-year old me is too busy getting excited and being me, to care.

    • Jenica says...

      Just a note to say ‘hi’ to my name twin! Not too many of us :)

    • This is such a great answer and helped me realise that it’s the same for me. I really like that when I discover something I can be passionate about I cannot wait to share that passion with everyone (whether they asked me to or not!)

    • Lucy says...

      Oh, I like people like this! It is a great thing to love about yourself!

  15. Tara! I found myself in quick tears at your line:
    “Says Tara: “One of my elementary students just wrote a poem about me saying that I ‘make everything feel so safe.’”

    I love this so much. There is nothing a child needs more than to feel safe. Everything they do comes from that basic need. Every wildly gestural artwork, every figured-out math problem, every hand in the air comes from a place of safety.

    • Diane says...

      Me too, I got teary reading that.

  16. Annie says...

    I can keep your secret. If someone says “don’t tell anyone”, it’s in the vault. I truly believe that it’s not my story to tell, that’s it. Don’t tell. I dislike gossip and won’t participate.

    • Julee says...

      I won’t gossip either.
      I totally admire your loyalty and resolve. There should be more friends like you.

    • Emma Terhaar says...

      I agree with Julee — Joanna, can we get a like button?

    • Susannah says...

      Emma, I’ve seen lots of lovely readers ask for a like button here and I get it. Especially when we relate so closely to something someone has shared and want to share back that little {{hug}} of a like. But I think it would change the whole vibe here that I love and look for, that’s so unique
      online: that someone’s comment that might get zero ‘likes’ is equally valid as the most popular opinion. It’s so rare to find this type of no-judgement space. I’d feel like I’d have to go through and ‘like’ every comment to make sure everyone felt validated, and some of us couldn’t help but look to see our ‘rating’, how our comments compared to others, or might choose not to share a thought here to avoid that feeling. I really appreciate the kindness in your intentions but personally love all the ‘likes’ I feel just by reading and connecting here with all of you! Xo

  17. Bethan says...

    At 24, I feel like I am still figuring out what I’m good at! Reading everyone’s comments has made me feel excited learn more about myself as I get older! I’m loving the variety of skills people have :)

  18. Emily says...

    We don’t ask questions like this enough! I like how seriously I take my character. I never let myself slip into doing the “easy thing” or being unkind and not apologizing or taking hard looks at myself as a person and growing.

  19. margaret says...

    I’m really good at apologizing. When I’ve done something wrong or rude or inappropriate, it takes me mere moments to realize it and deliver a sincere apology. To coworkers, loved ones, strangers, whoever.

    There is that moment when you recognize you’ve messed up but you’re too proud to admit it – let it go! That’s an icky, heavy feeling. Apologies feel light and full of connection.

  20. Veronica says...

    I like that I feel beautiful.

  21. I LOVE reading these! Yesterday, I had a phone interviewer with a recruiter and at the end the call she said, never change. I am done being professional and not showing the real me. Years ago at a boring meeting, someone asked how are you? I replied well, I found out yesterday my husband is having an affair and I’m having a miscarriage right now. You should have seen her face.. Really it was mentally unfit and I can NEVER see that person again, but it’s also fucking funny. After 2020, I refuse to water myself down. I was standing in the middle of the street (why is there no cell service verizon?!) having a phone interview in my dam sweatpants outfit yesterday and talking about all my SKILLZ. Who knows if I’ll get that job, but she made my day. Vulnerably makes see one another and going to continue to saying fuck in sentences and being unapologetically ME. love y’all <3

    • AB says...

      Hello Tara! These are such wise words. I am a firm believer in being yourself during interviews and letting all your authentic self shine through. I hate stiff interviews. I mean it’s okay to laugh and ask genuine questions and stay away from being robotic. One thing I’ve realized is that sometimes people can’t take heavy life situations like you described in that office meeting. Not because they don’t want to, but often because they might not have words. So, nothing against them but we all need to learn how to console and support others going through tough times.

    • Brianna says...

      I’m really sorry to hear what a brutally hard time you went through, but it *is* really funny to imagine her face! Honestly, I wish people were more open and honest when I ask “how are you?” If I asked, I want to know. And also, that gives me the security to really answer honestly when they ask me–how can I answer honestly if you always, always say you’re fine, you know?

  22. Sally says...

    I like that I’m great at making friends! And it surprises me a lot, because none of my family are really like that…

    I also like that I’m great at planning trips. I want to make the most of every place I visit, so I research thoroughly, and leave nothing to change!
    In the Summer of 2019 I took my mum on a surprise trip to London, planned it all with her in mind and she seemed to love every minute. She said afterwards that she should rent me out to all of her friends as a trip planner!

  23. Lauren says...

    I like who I am to my kids. It is my truest nature. The softest of myself. Not in a weak way, but in an I’m quick to say I’m sorry and extra quick to stop what I’m doing and hold them and look at their little freckles and sit under a blanket as long as they want to. I like the space I create for our family. The traditions, the warm meals, the cozy clothing, good lighting and excellent music. I mother my kids in the way I wish I had been, and the home my partner and I have made is what we have both needed our whole lives. Life isn’t perfect or easy but our home is our haven and I’m so glad to share it together.

    • Bhumi says...

      Made me tear up, so sweet.

    • Santa says...

      Beautiful ❤️

    • Lauren, this is beautiful! Made me tear up as well.

  24. Suzie says...

    I like that I search for answers. My curiosity and ferocious advocating for my children is helping to get to the bottom of their genetic illness. I like my sense of style, even though my focus has switched from clothing style to furniture and decor style. I like that I leave the scene before speaking out of anger, then come back when I am calm and can be productive. I like that I treat people with kindness and that I’m never cruel. And finally, I like that I can be very silly and dance and embarrass my kids in a good way. Thank goodness my husband is silly too and we dance together.

  25. Lainey says...

    I’m way late here but loved this too much not post. People tend to describe me as serious; that’s been the case since childhood. It’s something I resented when I was younger, but now, I realize it’s who I am and a generally positive thing. I take my responsibilities to heart and care a lot, and I want to do well. I love that I’m someone who gets along with just about everyone, but only a few people deeply know. The depth of my relationships has buoyed me time and time again. I buy thoughtful gifts, I’m a better-than-average baker, and I’m a prolific reader.

  26. Diana K says...

    I like that I am constantly self-examining. I don’t want to be hardened, stubborn person and I spend a lot of time sitting with my feelings and letting my heart steer me. I want to grow, I want to be in relationships that I want to be in, I want to do the things I enjoy, I want to challenge myself, I want to be a good friend, and it takes some thoughtful self-reflection to get there.

    • vero says...

      Yes! I love this so much and recognize this as one of the things I’m most proud of in myself as well <3

  27. Emily Jackson says...

    Well, one great thing about you is you are a beautiful writer, and another is that you are able to turn challenges into positives.

  28. Kristen says...

    I love this question. If not for you asking, I might not have thought about it and given myself the pat on the back that I needed and deserved. I think of myself as quite resilient… not in every moment per se (I’ve been known to hold it together for so long only to fully fall apart out of the blue), but generally speaking, I’m tough. It’s been a trying year to say the least – amongst the complete chaos that has been the pandemic, I was diagnosed with (early stage!) cervical cancer and went through the process of various procedures and surgery alone (due to Covid restrictions, I wasn’t allowed any guests in the hospital). I also planned, canceled & re-planned my wedding. We finally just did the damn thing on our original date and so happy we got to do it at all with only close family and friends attending. Within a couple weeks of my wedding – what should have been an incredibly blissful and memorable time of my life – we lost a dear friend suddenly and I was laid off from my job of 4+ years. The range of emotions I felt that month flat out kicked my ass. But I made it through, day by day, sometimes minute by minute. I’m proud that I have come out the other side with more strength and gratitude for my amazing family and friends. I truly don’t know what I’d have done without them.

    • Julie says...

      Kristen–you ARE resilient. You’re doing the damn thing! Hang in there friend! Holding you in the light as you’re navigating ALL THE THINGS.

  29. Gina says...

    This is going to sound weird but I like my sixth sense that I have discovered in the last 4 years- about baby sleep. I have helped definitely over a hundred friends/friends of friends sleep train their babies. Mostly through text because that’s easiest when you’re a new mom. I don’t know why but I know the answer to every single question/problem people are having. And every baby has ended up sleeping the 12 hours I promise them (if they listen to what I say). It’s really strange but I’m grateful for it because I’m 33 weeks pregnant with my third and I know I would have forgotten everything if I wasn’t teaching others.

    • Madison M. says...

      Umm amazing! How to make a 4 month old sleep longer than 30
      Min? Haha

    • Liz says...

      Omg, Cup of Jo please interview Gina. We need her wisdom!

    • vero says...

      Wow, I have a friend who could so desperately use your help <3 What a beautiful thing.

  30. Niko says...

    It’s funny you ask this! I just made this a writing assignment with my fifth graders and it was so fun to see what they said. Some said their kindness, others said skills they had, and one even said how she could communicate with her guinea pigs. I learned so much about them.
    I like my ability to empathize with others, and my ability to do things like unload the car with two kids or put away dishes in the most efficient way possible. I might over think it a bit, but it sure is done well!

  31. First of all, I love that I have gotten to a place in my life where I have to stop and think about this- not because I can’t think of anything I love about myself but because I love so many things it’s hard to pick! I am fiercely determined and always get the Most Improved Award (or as my brother likes to call it “You Used to Suck.”) Honesty comes naturally to me and I’m the kind of friend you can count on.

  32. A Babbling Nicole Brooke says...

    I talk fast. Like, really fast. It’s something I never noticed about myself until I got older because I was so painfully shy as a child. I get told I should host auctions or take up rapping. On dates, I would often be asked if I was nervous, and even had men ask if I had adult ADHD. (I don’t, for their information, as concluded by a medical professional after I was so insulted I got curious, haha). I think it also contributes to my bad handwriting. My brain works quicker than my hands can translate!

  33. Emily says...

    I like that as a teacher, I always approach my students with grace and mercy. It took me a LONG time to realize that anger is never a response that will help students change and grow into mature humans – plus, I’ll just end up pissed off!

  34. Julee says...

    I like the life I’ve lived so far (I’m nearly 40). I like that I’ve had such a complicated, exciting life. And I like this because I was the tiniest, smallest, most shy, insignificant little girl you ever could imagine.
    I NEVER imagined the adventure my life turned out to be.

    • Hannah Herd says...

      This is just beautiful.

    • Rach says...

      Thank you Julee, this was lovely to read. I screenshot-e your comment, even!

    • amy says...

      I would love to hear that story – the story of your life sounds very fascinating. I’ve been looking for stories of women’s lives. Even ordinary ones interest me for some reason. I don’t have female friends right now, perhaps that’s why. Write a book!

    • Eva says...

      What a great comment <3 go you!

  35. Shannon says...

    I am good at planning trips (the ones I want to take, anyway). I spend most of the year on it (pre-pandemic, tear) and by the time the trip arrives I know almost every possible 3ish-week scenario that is plausible in the county/ies and how much it all will cost.

  36. Tara says...

    I like that I never give up. I like that I love to read. I like that I like to bake and am good at it! I like that I feel my emotions and love fiercely (especially my kids).

  37. Jen says...

    I love this post and all of these beautiful comments!
    It’s strangely hard to toot my own horn, but maybe we all need to do just that once in a while? Here I go:
    I always start and end my kids’ days with hugs and kisses, always no matter what.
    I’m really good at telling them I love them dearly even when we disagree, and reassuring them that we’ll always be able to work it out.
    I am really good at creating a warm, cozy, welcoming home for our family, and when I recently asked our kids what their favorite kind of day would be, both of them described days snuggled up at home, having brunch, reading together, making a fire in the fireplace, then having friends in for dinner and a sleepover. I was so deeply happy to hear this: it means they think home is pretty great, too.
    I’m also a really good cook. I do the logistics of it well, I test, I tweak, I take notes, and now I have this really nice repertoire of things I know will always turn out well. And I find it fun. In this era of endless meals, it’s nothing to sniff at. Also, all the kids want to come to our house because my lunches and cookies and cakes rock.
    Toot toot!

  38. Meghan says...

    I was raised by a bad ass single mom to not need anyone for anything. That attitude destroyed untold friendships and my first marriage. Now I’m unafraid to tell people how important they are to me, admit when I need help, and will work tirelessly to repair relationships instead of walking away. Needy gets a bad rap, man. What’s wrong with admitting what makes your heart sing and being unapologetic about asking for it?

    • Bethan says...

      So true! Relationships thrive when we rely on each other!

  39. Elle says...

    I like more things about myself now that I’m in my 60s. I can’t believe how much time and agony I wasted worrying about my looks when I was younger; I was adorable! One thing I like but which I often take for granted is that I am good at finding things. Four-leaf clovers are a cinch — I once filled a salad bowl. I just look down, and there they are. I also have a talent for finding specific graves in cemeteries, even cemeteries I’ve never visited before. And I can find just about anything online. I’ve found wallets and purses on the street and in stores, and enjoyed returning them. I once found a missing ring in the grass, in the dark, after an outdoor concert; I asked the woman to show me what she’d done to make the ring fly off her finger, and then followed the imaginary trajectory to the ring. I find the best kittens and cats, too, with wonderful personalities. My crowning achievement was finding one of my pale-gray contact lenses in a tub full of pale-gray bubblebath suds. That required a prayer to St. Anthony, patron saint of lost things. I prayed and stuck my hand into the water one more time, and the contact lens was on my finger.

    • Allison says...

      This is amazing!!

    • Sarah says...

      Slow clap for this comment. 👏🏻 I always admire a determined contact lens finder.

    • Agnès says...

      Elle, you’re a character, you must have so many stories to tell! (and four-leaf clovers make the best gifts, always.). I love reading your comment.

  40. Marisa says...

    I have A LOT of mental energy. So far in my life I’ve mostly focused on the negative aspects of this (insomnia, anxiety, feeling awful if I don’t get a TON of exercise every day), but I’m trying to believe my therapist when she says this is actually my superpower. I care very deeply about justice and I work hard as hell to fight for it, in my work and my personal life. And my body is really strong and healthy.

  41. Katie says...

    I am in the midst of looking to make a career transition and have been reflecting TOO much on my strengths, weaknesses, skills, and how I want to spend my professional time moving forward. Its exhausting and so hard for me to be in this murky situation. Most days I feel like I’m good at nothing. But! I can confidently say that I’m great at throwing dinner parties. Silly, I know, but I love the menu planning, connecting with friends more deeply then you can at a restaurant and even arranging flowers to make it feel special.

  42. gilli treiman says...

    I like that I am never bored, there is always something to read, or research or cook or see, the internet has alot to do with this, information is always a click away. Our kids will never know what it was like without this instant gratification!

  43. amy says...

    When I went in to wake up my 9 year old daughter, I snuggled up with her and asked her this question. “Well,” she said, “I like my eyes and I am getting really good at baking things by myself and I am good at making little things.” Then she turned to me and smiled saying, “You make people feel happy, mom.”

    • Becky says...

      Amy your comment made me tear up – what a beautiful compliment to get from your daughter!

    • Sharon says...

      Ah… this comment had me melting. I do not have kids, but I remember feeling this way about my mom as a kid (and as an adult. she was the best).

      A good mom that makes you feel seen and loved. such a gift.

    • Jo says...

      This made me cry also

  44. Diana says...

    That I’m such a morning person! Once I drag myself out of bed I’m working out, podcasting, downing coffee, whipping up green juice. (Of course that also means I’m a granny at 9pm, shutting down, not answering texts unable to do dishes or clean.) But AM is my shine time!

  45. Talia says...

    I love that I am brave and strong. I am in the process of a divorce and it would have been so easy to stay – I’d most certainly would have been better off financially and as a middle-aged woman who would like to retire someday, that is important. BUT! I left after having discovered his third (yes, third!) affair. I am walking away and doing so with class and dignity because at the end of the day, I have to like myself and I do!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      YES Talia!!! You are amazing, brave and strong — and an inspiration and role model for other women. xo

    • Sarz says...

      Much respect to you, Talia. Self-respect is such a treasure. You are deserving of great things.

    • Em says...

      Three cheers for Talia! You are so brave and so strong <3

    • Emma Kate says...

      Sending you love and encouragement as you forge ahead, Talia. I’m sure nothing about this has been easy – but I know your courage and strength will pave a beautiful path for your future.

    • Andrea says...

      F*ck that guy!

    • mdeck says...

      Yes Talia! That’s a hard thing to do – well done. I’ll share with you the advice I most loved receiving when I left. A friend sent a card that said only “Anything could happen next!”, and it’s so true. Who knows what will unfold next for you, and how exciting that you’re starting a new chapter. Bravo!

    • Talia, you are indeed! I’m so glad you have decided enough was enough. Wishing you all the best in your future!

    • Also, Talia, if you don’t know about chumplady.com, you might want to check out her blog.

    • Allison says...

      Beautiful. Thanks for sharing. You are an incredible person!!

  46. Alexis says...

    I think I’m pretty good at giving gifts. I keep a list that I add to all year long with ideas, observations, etc for all the people I want to gift. And I tend to shop all year as well, saving the presents for birthdays and Christmas. That way I’m not rushing last minute.

  47. Lauren says...

    OK, hang in because I’ll get to the compliment-to-myself part, but I need to set the scene:

    I am a full-time parent (the term SAHParent makes me cringe, because to me, it sounds like I’m trapped in a dusty basement, and not allowed to do any conversating with other humans), who earns approximately zero dollars a year from my job, and it has been that way for the past five years. I have gone on a very real, very emotional journey about what that means, and how it affects my family and myself. I have the world’s most incredible partner, and we had many discussions about the earning topic, before making the change from being DINKs, to a single-earner household supporting ourselves, a kid and old, old dogs, in one of America’s most expensive cities. After graduating from college, I spent a decade making money, then more money, then reaching a point where I was making enough money that I didn’t think about money all that often, because it was there when I needed it. This is a far cry from the maxing-out-my-credit-card-days in college, and I got quite used to this new, warm feeling of being able to pay for my life in full, up front. So, my spouse, whose earning power far exceeds mine, and always has, is taking complete financial care of, and NEVER holds it over me, or makes me feel like their job is more important, or more valuable to our lives, than my zero dollar earning role. One evening, I was getting in to a negative self-talk loop about my lack of income earning, when they pointed out that I brought so many things in to our family, like love and support, kindness and listening, and making sure we all had food to eat every single day, for every single meal, as well as ensuring our house had systems in place to keep it operating as smoothly as possible. It was also pointed out to me that I always made sure everyone had fun adventures, and cool movies in the queue, that friends got meals when they needed them, and that family members had a special day for birthdays etc. We spent many minutes talking about all of things I do for our family and our community, that don’t “earn money”, but help in other ways, including ways our family can save money on things such as refinancing our mortgage, waiting for sales, living car-free with a young kid, etc.

    So, this got me thinking about all of the ways I contribute to our family life, that are not monetarily based, and I came up with a list when I need a reminder to myself of how much value add I bring to our lives. A few of the items on this list are:

    I make THE BEST chocolate chip cookies. They are out of this world, and I know they bring a moment of joy to anyone who had a chance to eat one. I mean, the dopamine hit that comes from a delicious chocolate chip cookie is just %*&*?!

    I love my family with wild abandon, and will feverishly support their mental health however I am able.

    I will for the rest of their days shower them with, “I love you’s”, because despite what some people think, you cannot tell someone you love them too many times in a lifetime. I will also reminding them there is nothing they can do or say that will take my love for them away, even if I’m upset with them in a particular moment.

    I bring joy and adventure to their lives by finding places to explore (safely and often deep in the woods during these pandemic times).

    I am a very positive person, who always strives to find the light in the dark, while giving space for feelings about/surrounding the dark moments.

    End of novel, and sending love to anyone who needs or wants it.

    • J. says...

      I really loved reading this comment, Lauren. Thank you so much for sharing! So many of the phrases will stay with me– and I agree, there is no limit to enough times of telling someone you love them!!!

    • Laura says...

      This is really, really beautiful. I especially love the part about “there is nothing they can do or say that will take my love for them away.” That might actually save someone’s life someday.

    • Megan says...

      LOVE!! Thank you!

    • Lena says...

      I love this comment so much! And your partner sounds amazingly supportive and seems to truly recognize what a treasure you are.
      Do you have a favorite chocolate chip cookie recipe for these dopamine inducing cookies? Looking for a good one :-)

    • Caitlin says...

      You and I are very similar, and seem to be living almost parallel lives! I loved your comment and took it to heart for myself. I have come to love the term homemaker. What is more important than making a home?

    • Emie says...

      Currency is not always money. You have far more currency than almost anyone has in a bank.

  48. Mims says...

    I’m not afraid of hard work. My hands reflect that: moving ten yards of compost my wheelbarrow, scrubbing floors. But mental too…I am the director of research for a nutrigenomic company developing genetic testing tools and every day I am called to tackle difficult information and make sense of it. There are times I feel like running away when it gets too incomprehensible, but I stay with it (although I will sometimes sleep on it) rather than give up. I have also learned how to ask for help…but have found at the far corners of research we explore…very few people exist to ask, so learning how to do it myself fearlessly has been a gift.

    • Emie says...

      “but have found at the far corners of research we explore…very few people exist to ask” This is where the future lies… in your hands and others who push themselves to ask that same question.

  49. Erin says...

    I needed to think about this today! I’m resilient. I’ve been through a lot in the past 5 years – a toxic work environment, loss of a parent, twins in the NICU, and two out of state moves during the pandemic. These things haven’t been easy to deal with and have definitely affected me but looking back, I have risen to every challenge and done what needed to be done, which is – carry on. I wouldn’t have acknowledged this strength in me if it weren’t for your question this morning, so thank you ❤️

    • Cindy says...

      Goodness, you have been through a lot. Just one of these events is traumatic enough. I hope your babies are thriving (My twin grandsons were in NICU so I understand your worry). You are strong and have proved it. I hope your journey is easier for awhile.

  50. Ashley says...

    I want to print out all of these comments and save them in a folder for my daughter to read one day as beautiful examples of self love!

    I love that I am courageous and that I love to learn!

    xo

  51. Roxana Khan says...

    I’m great at following directions. I’m an organizer by trade, and it’s my job to stay cool and collected while being a great communicator. In my everyday life, that translates to being great at “tasks”. It’s easy for me to find and maintain order. Filling out forms, queuing up for things, executing “assignments” when a host asks me to help out at a party. You can absolutely trust me to tidy up a corner and build a crudités platter while you’re hurriedly finishing the main meal. I got you!

  52. LB says...

    I recently started working with a career / leadership coach and she asked me to tell her what I was good at. The silence was deafening as I sat there on the phone unable to give myself a compliment (but knowing I shouldn’t be silent as I’ve been doing my job 15 years!). It’s a problem too many women have – we should all own what we’re good at and like about ourselves.

  53. AE says...

    I have a strong sense of self- always have. I’ve never, even as kid, felt the need to blend in or be the next person or behave in ways that were the popular thing to do. I am SO passionate about my people- I will fight for them with everything I have. My professor said that I was one of the most ethical people he’s ever known (in 40?50? Years of teaching!) I am someone who has great EQ and who had an immense amount of gratitude. My life doesn’t have to be great- so many people have it so much harder- and so, I’m grateful for my parents who show love, my siblings and friends who check in, my husband, my great job, my health (a chronic illness that’s mostly under control, etc). And, my resilience is unmatched. It’s my favorite thing about myself. I don’t judge people for their flaws and understand that for most of us our strengths outweigh anything else. My assistants at work think that I’m always calm, cool, collected even in the face of very sick or demanding patients. I’m
    Never afraid to move on- from people, places, etc that don’t serve me. I like that my life goal is be happy.

  54. This is kind of a small thing but – I give good recommendations. Whether for books, travel tips (oh man, i miss travel), restaurant choices (i miss those too), or home decor, I tend to be my friends’ and familys’ to-go for personal recs that really take into account what I know about the person asking me. I just love hearing back when people tell me they took my advice and loved it.

  55. I love that I love to go deep. Like deeeep. I’ve been told if i’m going to do anything, I’m going to go all the way. I think that’s why I love it so here on CoJ <3

    • Julee says...

      I raise my hand in a salute/greeting to a fellow deep-diver.

  56. Bren says...

    What a fun post! I have to say, I am an awesome question asker. I love hearing people’s stories, getting into the nitty gritty details, and finding out all the things that helped make a person who they are. I love talking to the cashier while checking out at Trader Joe’s or one of my best girlfriends. My mom passed this gift on to me and she has truly never met a stranger!!

    • Sam says...

      Truly this is such a skill! I just love someone who can so naturally ask both the simple and the insightful questions, no matter the person.

  57. Kai says...

    I am genuinely excited and curious about people. I didn’t think this was unique, so much, until the pandemic started and I realized lots of people were having uncomfortable conversations with their friends, or family, or childcare providers to assess Covid exposure risk. They had to begin the long, arduous process of collecting information about who their acquaintances lived with or how social they were being. I didn’t have to have so many of those conversations because for the most part, I already knew. Who had roommates, what their husbands’ jobs were, or if they’d been going out in groups or sticking close to home, or where they went grocery shopping. Turns out I had just been collecting this type of information for years, I guess waiting for a pandemic to prove its utility!

    • Mimi says...

      This is such a lovely comment! It seems like you’re a thoughtful friend who is genuinely interested in others, and have come to realize that value. Bravo!

  58. Jenny says...

    “Mom, you love your people well”- Samantha, my 11 y/o daughter
    I am a single mom and nurse and this past year has challenged me like no other. These words breathed life into me a couple weeks ago when my daughter overheard me talking to a friend on the phone.
    I do love my people well. I think I’ll ask to put that on my tombstone.

    • Faith says...

      What a beautiful compliment! xo

    • Lauren says...

      Absolutely beautiful, and what a special compliment to have come from your very own child. It sounds like you’re an amazing human, doing an incredible job Jenny!

    • Court says...

      Hugs to you, fellow nurse mama <3

    • Gabrielle says...

      My mom was a single mom and a nurse, and I often think about how impossible it would have been for her to live through Covid while also taking care of us. Sending you so much love.

    • Eva says...

      This is so lovely. Definitely tombstone worthy. What a special girl you have raised by a special mom no doubt <3

  59. Amy says...

    The friend who officiated my wedding (who also happened to be my husband’s best friend who introduced us) described that during conversations, I am always 100% engaged, giving the other person my complete focus and attention. I have carried that with me ever since. When I am feeling down about myself, I think back to that moment of hearing me described in a way I had never saw myself before.

  60. Jimena says...

    Thanks for this amazing post, Joanna <3
    I like that even though I think of myself as shy and an introvert I'm also pretty damn corageous (contacted family members who abandonned me as a child and made peace with them and myself… check, moved alone to a country where I knew nobody… check, travelled alone in places considered "dangerous" by Westerners… check, multiple times).
    I also have a killer sense of aesthetics, and I never, ever, lose hope :)

    • You sound badass!

  61. Kay says...

    How I read books out loud to kids. I’m an elementary school teacher and read alouds are my favorite things to do. One student said I make books come alive for them. My heart! Ar home I have a 21 month old and a 7 month old and we storytime every night. My husband said tells me even he gets excited to find out what brown bear, brown bear saw from the way I read it lol.

    • kk says...

      This is the cutest:

      My husband said tells me even he gets excited to find out what brown bear, brown bear saw from the way I read it lol.

  62. I don’t indulge in self pity. It has been a difficult year- the pandemic, the house very nearly burned down. We were evacuated for 10 days. And then without electricity and water for some time afterwards. One month later, through no fault of my own, my car was totalled. I have not been happy and light hearted through out. Still I am proud of the way that I have steered through it all with patience, putting one foot in front of the other, and stopping to rest when I need to. I have learned so much about self care.

  63. Jessie H. says...

    I am always willing to try hard things. For the last week I have single handedly kept three premature corgi puppies alive through tube feeding (putting a tube in their bellies through their mouths because they dont have suckling strength yet like full term puppies) every two to three hours! It’s been SO HARD but seven days in I have three round-bellied, squirmy puppies at my side still.

    • Lily says...

      Jessie, this is incredible. You are literally keeping those squirmy, adorable puppies alive! Thank you so much for this.

    • Emma Kate says...

      Jessie, you are channeling so much strength and love to keep those sweet puppies going – what a wonderful, heartwarming thing! Thank you for taking care of them and sticking with it through the hard times. Sending you all a big hug!

  64. aileen says...

    I love this! These comments are all so heartwarming and what a great subject.

    I am a great mom.
    And I’ve always been a little weird but being a mom has allowed my weirdness to conquer any silly awkwardness that made me self conscious. I’m sure I’ll be a massive embarrassment to my kids at some stage but we all will be anyway so I might as well go all in.
    I like that my weirdness is something I really like about myself.

    **the American flag pants sound incredible. Toby sounds fantastic.

    • Sarah says...

      I just wanted to say, me too! I’m very weird, and being a mom has allowed me to embrace it more wholeheartedly than I ever have before. I have no doubt I will embarrass my child (hopefully children) endlessly. But goodness, its fun just to let go and be silly! And to have someone who appreciates it and is silly right back.

  65. Katie S. says...

    I like that I just keep going. Maybe not in the most graceful way, maybe there are a lot of tears, but I keep the projectile of my life always moving forward, even if it’s by mere inches. I don’t feel like I’ve ever truly regressed, and even if that’s how others see it I know the internal work is what matters most.

  66. Emily Barbeau says...

    I am really good at remaining cool, calm, and logical when there is a problem to solve. I always get that feedback in performance reviews at work. Nothing makes me feel more accomplished than solving a problem or improving a process.

  67. Katie says...

    Like everyone has said, it feels strange to say something nice about yourself. But I’ve loved seeing everyone’s comments :)

    I would say I’m a good mom. I never saw myself as a mom but now that I am a mom, I love it and think I’m pretty good at it. It’s been like getting hired for a job that I had no experience in and realizing I was a natural at it.

  68. L says...

    I like that I am generally happy even though I sometimes seem pessimistic. I like that after getting promoted, a few coworkers felt comfortable asking me for tips about the process. I like that I smile at dogs and babies even when I’m wearing a mask. I like that I can recognize that my mental health struggles were bigger than I could previously admit and that I am finally, genuinely content. I like that my relationships with my sisters have gotten stronger during the pandemic. I like that I have a small but strong group of friends. I like that I make people laugh.

  69. Jessica says...

    I love this! What a lovely little spot of the internet this Comment section is!

    I like that when I’m tipsy I either sing or I get very sentimental and loving or both. I’m sure it’s annoying to the people around me, but I find myself charming!

    I’m sending this article to my girlfriends… I want everyone to do this today!

  70. Erin G. says...

    These comments have utterly made my day (laughter and tears).

    I love that I am really curious. I love to ask questions, to know all the things, to learn new skills. It makes for too many hobbies, too many books, and too many people exhausted from my never-ending line of questions, but I love it.

  71. CG says...

    What a coincidence! I just started the spring semester off asking my students (among other prompts) to end by writing six positive, genuine descriptors about themselves. If they turned it in with less than six or some sort of generic description, I emailed them back to try again and re-submit.

    Me? I’m a good listener.

    • ha says...

      stealing this!!

    • Rebecca says...

      Hey, fellow teacher! We just wrapped up our semester classes, and I asked my students to write themselves a letter congratulating themselves on something they had learned/done/accomplished during our class. It was awesome to read their varied answers!

      And I like that I am really good at showing appreciation for people.

  72. Christy says...

    I love this so much! How fun to be able to spend a Friday morning reading what people love about themselves.

    I like that I try really hard no matter what it is I’m doing. I don’t phone it in, I give it my best effort. Growing up, it always felt like this earnestness made me uncool people you were supposed to not care… but I DO care, and now I realize that’s a superpower. I want to do a good job and I like that, even if something doesn’t go well, I know that I gave it my all.

    • jenny says...

      Caring is a superpower – love this thought so much Christy.

  73. Denise says...

    Thank you so much for using my comment! I’d forgotten I used to feel that way. It’s inspired me to get back to feeling confident about walking.

  74. Emma says...

    I am naturally and easily generous – I bake for people’s birthdays, quilt baby blankets, hold doors, water houseplants. I am eager to help, to try and brighten folks days, make things a little easier when I can. It took me a while to learn how to act on these impulses without burdening myself, but I like to think that these are things I’ll be remembered for.

    (phew! that was hard – am I bragging? do I care? AHHHHHHHHH! You asked, this is my answer!!)

    • Shannon says...

      <3 love this

    • Robin L Stout says...

      absolutely not bragging (at least not in the traditional sense). . . a celebration of what you contribute, and what a contribution xo

    • jenny says...

      I love that thought of ‘making things a little easier’ for others. Sounds like a deep cleansing yoga breath in the flesh. You sound like a remarkable human Emma.

  75. Hilary says...

    I like that I’m demonstrative. I try to be really open with my people about how I miss them/love them/am thinking about them/etc. I never want people to wonder those things, and I’m glad I’m comfortable telling people my true feelings. Much like you, Joanna, I try to see people how they really are and love them in ways they want to be loved.

  76. Emma says...

    That sounds so hard, Gilly. I, an internet stranger, am rooting for you. Wishing you and your sweet guy lots of happiness together!

  77. IS says...

    My boyfriend tells me that I have a way of making people feel like what they’re saying is really important and interesting when they’re talking to me. I like that about myself.

  78. ARC says...

    It was hard to find things I am good at, and it feels a bit weird to me to say “I” so often, but it’s a healthy thing and here you go: I am very good at finding the right book gifts that my husband, son and daughter enjoy reading. I am genuinely happy for friends’ and coworkers’ achievements, beautiful trips, new cars, etc. and I can enjoy with them and for them without being jealous. I am not a leader, but I am a great person to have on a team – I am the person who keeps the lists, timelines, steps, takes care of the little things and makes sure that nothing slips and everyone does what they need to do. Luckily, I have found the perfect job to do this!

    • Jess says...

      You and I sound like very similar people! =)

    • Birgit says...

      Sounds wonderful- wish you were on my team!

  79. Cat says...

    I’m very earnest and easy to read. I somehow managed to maintain these qualities from childhood and I think that’s rare and good. Being this way makes me a better friend and easier person to love.

    • Robin L Stout says...

      Yes! extremely rare and very valuable. . .

  80. K says...

    I loved reading all these comments!
    You all are amazing people!
    Some have described things I also see in myself better than I probably can. Some I just admire for beeing so different than me.
    Such a nice pick me up on a melancholic day.

    So here is my attempt:

    I like how I can find joy and beauty in little things and moments.
    I am friendly and kind.
    I know myself really well and I’m good at understanding my feelings and to treat them accordingly.
    I like that I’m mostly guided by intuition and how even though I like routines and for things to stay the same I am never afraid of change.
    I don’t hold on to things/people/situations that don’t feel right.
    I am usually optimistic that things will turn out ok.

    And exactly what Anne said further down in the comments:
    I like that I have a strong sense of self. I don’t get caught up in the social media comparison game, I’m not bothered if people don’t like the same things I do (…)

    • Rebecca says...

      I feel like I’m very similar to you K! I like the very same things about myself. This year has challenged me (and my optimism) more than I could have ever imagined but I’m impressed that I still have that sense that ultimately everything will be ok. I will be ok. It’s a good way to go through life!

  81. Ryan says...

    Oh wow! This one is incredible “Says Suzi: “I have a motto: ‘Do it scared. Do it tired.’ I live according to my values and I show up for my life. I won’t back down from doing something if the reasons are fear or being tired.””

    Love it. I would add “do it not perfect.” So hard to accept my current work, at home, the office, or personally, for the allure of perfect work. Perfect work is unattainable . What you’re doing is enough

  82. Michelle says...

    I see so many comments about resilience, grit, and determination. Also love, sensitivity, compassion. I just want to affirm that this is why I love sisterhood. When life feels dark, we find a million and one different ways to keep our lanterns turned on, and if notice one has been blown out, we flock to them like a cluster of fireflies. .

    • Julie says...

      Beautifully said, Michelle.

    • Alison says...

      Michelle, this is beautiful. I am grateful beyond words for this community here and for my own group of women in my life.

    • Sarz says...

      Oh, Michelle! What a wordsmith. I hope it’s not just the CoJ comment section that’s graced with them.

    • Caitlin Scott says...

      This made me cry, Michelle. What a special group of people this is. Can we all have a gigantic, block-long cocktail party when this is all over??

  83. Ruth says...

    I like that I am someone people can depend on. Ever since I was little, I was always the friend people came to when they had a problem and needed help and support. As I approach 40 (eeek), I like to think that I am still good at this and really try to carry it into all aspects of my life. I think it’s important to model being “a helper” as we call it, in our house, which resonates really well with my 5-year-old. I have always said that my greatest task as a mother is to raise kind humans. I might not always be able to fix something, but I will always listen and will always try!

  84. Melinda says...

    I like that I’m funny, I like how I express myself through my words and actions, and these days I think I’m pretty cool! If I wasn’t me, I’d love to be my friend/colleague/neighbour. I couldn’t always have seen this. Thanks for asking such a thoughtful question.

  85. Lynea Wilson says...

    Love Ali’s love for their own enthusiasm! I wanted to be aloof all my life because in my mind that was how cool/adult/elegant folks act. But the reality is, I use a lot of exclamation point in my texts because I use a lot of exclamation points in my life. I am easily excited and feel life in a big way, even about the small or mundane. Surely that is better than any unattached attempt at “cool!”

  86. Yael says...

    I like that I can dance – I just know how to move my body, and enjoy. I like that I can use recipes as bases to riff off of. I like that I read to my kids every night, and tell them stories the way my father used to tell me. I like that I’m intuitive – I can sense what people are feeling, and guess why. I can tell if someone’s feeling “off”. I like that I’m curious about the world and about myself. I like that I always want to dig deeper and think about the meaning of things. I like that I think about my purpose in life. I like that I love to snuggle. I like that I enjoy time alone, and also one-on-one time with friends.

    Thank you so much for this prompt. I’ve been talking to my therapist about the near-constant stream of put-downs and shoulds in my mind. So this question is a fantastic antidote. xo

  87. Emma McVey says...

    I love that I love making people feel special – usually through an elaborate themed party. I’ve done many themed engagement parties for dear friends over the years with anything from a Jurassic Park theme to Star Wars to Disney’s Robin Hood. I love going all out and being creative (we are all theatre folk).

    I also love that I’m a fast reader and have ZERO shame about reading trashy regency romance novels (like Bridgerton). My lack of shame has given a lot of my friends the gumption to admit and even be proud of how much they love and gain relaxation from reading the romance genre.

  88. This post gives me so many warm feels.

    I like how easily I embrace silliness. I can be pretty anxious sometimes, but in the moments when I can truly let go, I find such freedom and joy in unabashed ridiculousness. My daughter and I have a million nonsense games (like racing to take out the trash) and my husband and I regularly belt out riffs on pop songs. I dance like an (uncoordinated) maniac and invest way too much energy in The Bachelor impersonations.

    I like that I can count on myself to lift my own bad mood!

    • Sarah says...

      “I like that I can count on myself to lift my own bad mood” – I think this is a hugely underated skill, especially during a pandemic, 3rd lockdown (here in uk), homeschooling and working. The ability to be able to cheer yourself up by dancing around your kitchen is HUGE. Just saluting you, you make your home happier for everyone in it!

  89. Hattie says...

    I’m good at reaching out to people I haven’t seen in a long time either with a cute or funny greeting card, a phone call or just an email. Recently I heard that it was National Pharmacist Day and that prompted me to write to a former neighbor whose late husband was a pharmacist. All I did was say I thought of him immediately and the important contributions pharmacists make to health care. She was very touched and it was so simple but it felt good to do a kindness, especially during the pandemic.

    • Eva says...

      I’m a pharmacist and this is so sweet! Most people think of pharmacists as behind the counter at CVS, but nowadays pharmacists have a whole host of roles in a variety of settings. Thanks for recognizing the contributions a fellow pharmacist made ❤️

  90. Megan Johnson says...

    I was originally going to share something more serious, but I think we could all use a little more lightheartedness right now. SO… I love my hair, haha! My husband was once talking to a friend who hadn’t met me yet but had seen me around, and when he referred to me in conversation, she said, “OH, you mean the woman with the fantastic hair?” I couldn’t have been more flattered!

  91. Abbe says...

    I like that I (and my two sisters) inherited Central Heterochromia, aka multicolored eyes, from my mother and Polish maternal grandfather. And I like that I have an endless curiosity for things that led me to come to this realization for the first time only a few weeks ago, at the age of 38.

    It’s a very strange thing to go your whole life not knowing how to answer the question “What color are your eyes?” Mine have a distinct golden brown ring around the pupil, and then the rest is green and then blue on the outermost edge. For the purposes of a definite answer on my driver’s license, they are green. (CH is different than having hazel eyes, which is multiple colors uniformly distributed in the iris.)

    Both of my sisters have this, and my mom and grandpa have/had dark brown rings around their pupils with the rest of the eye being blue.

    A few weeks ago, I randomly Googled “Eyes that are blue, green and brown,” not really expecting to find anything, though I do operate with a certain level of optimism as a die-hard curious person. Lo and behold, the search actually named CH and suddenly I was looking at all these images and thinking “That’s us.”

    Having this knowledge and being able to share it with my family right now, especially when we can’t be together, has been a really special thing and has made me feel more connected to my family, especially to my mother and late grandfather, who was such a wonderful man that I named my daughter after him. Knowing that we inherited CH specifically from him makes me smile.

    • Rebecca says...

      I had no idea there was an actual term for this – my eyes are brown, gold and green. My mom’s are the same and so are my youngest daughter. I always assumed it was a form of hazel.

      And I am really good at admitting when I don’t know how to do something or didn’t understand an explanation and then asking for help. It took me a long time to get good at but I’m almost an expert at this point!

    • Abbe says...

      Rebecca, those sound like beautiful eyes! @heterochromatics on Instagram has a lot of amazing examples.

      I also love the admitting when you don’t know something. That is a truly wonderful thing to be able to do!

  92. Melz says...

    I’m a good dancer. I luv to dance. Have studied dance, & performed. Pre pandemic, I’d love to go hear live music and be the best dancer on the dance floor among 20 year olds…..

  93. Olivia Jane says...

    I like that I make people feel safe being vulnerable around me. The number of times a friend has snotted on my sweater in the bathroom at work or someone I recently met ended a conversation with, “Oh my word — I can’t believe I told you all that!” It’s such an honor.

  94. pam says...

    I like that I’m funny. I’ve always been able to make people laugh with my silly sense of humor even though, deep down, I’m a somewhat dark person.

  95. Alison D says...

    I tried to write a comment yesterday and found it really hard! Thank you for asking such a thoughtful, important question. After mulling overnight here’s what I decided.
    – I like that I can always get lost in a book no matter what’s going on in my life.
    – I like that I’m a good teacher & work hard to meet my students where they are to get them excited about writing.
    – I like that I am constantly trying to be kinder to myself and learn more about myself and just become better at being me (not a perfect version of someone that I might wish I was).
    – I like that I cook meals for myself & people I love.
    – I like that I’m still finding out things that I like about myself at 33 and hope that is always true.

    I also really like reading other readers’ responses to this question. What an amazing group of people this blog has collected.

  96. Tiff says...

    For me I would say that I’m fearless. I show up in life, I’m a participant. I’ll do things that may be considered risky, but even if they all don’t work out I end up experiencing so many amazing situations and meeting some wonderful people.
    The other thing is that I feel things deeply. It may not be the best trait when the feeling is sadness, but love! happiness! unabashed joy! — it’s damn good.

  97. Alice says...

    I like the fact that I’m really good at buying gifts that people love. I somehow manage to always hit the right note of useful/ desirable/ personal, and that’s great! I also like the fact that I am confident in who I am. Not how I look- but I really know who I am as a person now, and am pretty happy with that person.

    I also love that I know loads about wine and I am full of useless knowledge.

    • Hayley B says...

      “ I like the fact that I’m really good at buying gifts that people love. I somehow manage to always hit the right note of useful/ desirable/ personal” —> now THAT’s a real gift! (See what I did there 😅) Your friends and family are lucky to have you in their lives!

  98. Lisa says...

    I love how emphatic I am, I can almost always understand both sides and feel things deeply. I also love that I’m a good mom already – I’m 5 weeks into motherhood and damn it feels so right.

  99. Maria says...

    I spend a lot of time wondering if I’m a good parent and every night in her bed, I snuggle my daughter (age 3) and tell her she’s my best girl. The other night she squeezed me back and said, “No Mama, YOU are MY best girl.” I’m so happy that I’m a safe spot for her land and I’m exactly who she needs.

    I’m organized and keep a tidy home. I make lovely traditions for our family. I am good at gathering people together. I easily empathize with others and see their best qualities, so I’m often their go-to when they have a problem.

    Did this exercise make anyone else cry?

  100. lauryn says...

    I like that I am resilient, but not cold and hardened. I like that I am a really good friend and value my lifelong relationships. I like that I am investigative and curious. I like that I always remember people’s names and how to spell them (probably because everyone always spells mine wrong!). I like that people usually have one impression of me before they get to know me and that I surprise people with my true nature :)

    • Astrid says...

      My goodness, it’s like you just crawled into my brain and stole my answer!! (Altho you are more eloquent!) Separated at birth methinks. (Got any family in Scotland??)

    • lauryn says...

      @Astrid – kindred spirits! Also I actually do have family in Scotland!!! My grandfather was born and still has relatives there. The last time I visited, I stayed with a distant cousin in Kelso along the river Tweed…

  101. Ari says...

    I like that I’ve grown to be the person who isn’t embarrassed, shy, or scared to cry whenever or wherever I need to. I let tears fall down my face and I don’t wipe them, and I don’t worry what others may think. Crying has become, for me, like laughing. It’s a part of me, a release, and I am grateful to live and FEEL for myself.

  102. Christina says...

    I am really great at picking books my 15 month old son loves and then reading those books thousands of times with the same unbridled enthusiasm as I did the first hundred times. I spend hours searching the library and bookshop.org. It is my favorite thing to do while nursing.

    • Olivia Jane says...

      That enthusiasm on round 1,000 is a gift! He’s so lucky to have you as a mama.

    • Angela says...

      I am most proud of the wonderful library I’ve amassed for my kids. It is my love language to research and save books I think they will like. When I think of kids that don’t receive books as presents for holidays or birthdays, it just makes me sad. What a gift we are giving to our children!

    • Sage says...

      Yes!! I’m an English Lit major & it has always been my goal to foster a love of reading in my son.

      That said, I came to my love of reading because it was my escape from a crappy childhood – I could lose myself and ignore the outside world. Obviously this is noooot the route I’m going with my own kid… :D

      So many cozy cuddles over books – German ones now too! At 2.5, he has a library that could rival many adults’, and I’m proud of that. Totally recommend “Honey,” by David Ezra Stein, if it’s not already in your collection. Was a hit here.

      Enjoy all of that time and silly voices and ridiculousness with your little boy! <3 (Congrats on still nursing too! We also are, and of that, I confess, I'm a little tired, haha.)

  103. Alex says...

    I like that I’m capable of many basic life skills. When I was in my twenties and living with roommates I was always the one they’d turn to when they needed to know how to do something – how to roast a chicken, or hang a level shelf, or plunge a toilet. How to sew on a button or hem a pair of pants, or put on a duvet cover, or grow some herbs. I have my general curiosity to thank for wanting to learn new things, and also my awesome parents who taught me most of this stuff.

    • Genevieve Martin says...

      I love this, well done you!
      Reminds me of when I first lived with a friend after we both moved out from our parents’ houses. Every time we achieved something like this we said “we are so capable!!!”
      Now we still text each other saying “so capable!!!” whenever we do something like unblock the washing machine/drill something.

  104. Fayola Pollard says...

    Thanks for your comments friends. I’m feeling so much better today and sometimes a shift in perspective is needed :)

    Tala…you hit the nail on the head. Since my teenage years, my friends have always told me that I’m too hard on myself. It’s something that I constantly have to work on to try to break myself out of it!

  105. D says...

    My mentor, an older woman, once told me “You’re such an attractive person in so many ways.” I think she was referring to my warmth, talent, and ability to create an environment that people want to be in. I’m an entertainer and an educator, so these are important skills, and I think back on this comment went my confidence is wobbly.

  106. Berni says...

    I like that i always tend to defend the underdog. I like how i feel music. a song can take me to awesome places. I like my dark sense of humor, that is not cruel. I like how i notice details that are often overlooked. I reeeeally don’t like a lot of stuff about me, but it is important to express what we do like about ourselves. This is a great exercise. Thank you.

  107. Emily says...

    I love that I love babies so much. When I was six years old and asked what I wanted to be when I grew up I said “I want to hold babies”. I filled my teens with babysitting and eventually became a pediatric nurse practitioner.
    I’m 48 now and, while my 40/50 year old peers can’t imagine going back to that phase (we all have teens), I delight in saying “I’d have another one in a second!” to their gasps of horror. My heart literally flutters when I see a baby and I know that feeling is never going to go away.

  108. Annie says...

    Sending you lots of love, prayers, and good vibes, Kelly. I have a sneaking suspicion you will be a chemo champ, and that will give you another thing to love about yourself.

  109. Elise says...

    That I don’t tell lies about my experience parenting to make others feel better about their’s (I used to). I am proud of the kind, considerate and gentle boy I’m raising and I want to celebrate that instead of hiding it away, as we are often encouraged to. Let’s raise our kids up and support each other as parents with positivity and non-judgement.

    • Sage says...

      So sweet, Elise. I’m right there with you; my son is an absolute delight and I can’t relate to the motherhood martyrdom (or the “let’s compete on who feels guiltiest today!”) that’s so popular online.

  110. Toni says...

    I love the big dimple I have on my right cheek. I used to be so self conscious of it when I was a kid (think cheek pinching, finger poking, joke telling). As an adult I largely forgot about it. It would randomly come up in conversation and I’d awkwardly laugh it off. My baby daughter has the exact same dimple and I’m overjoyed. I live for the little moments when she sticks her tiny fingers in my dimple and then touches her own. I beam when others say that when she smiles, she looks like a miniature me! I love that we have matching quirky smiles.

  111. Nikki says...

    I’m a really great wife. My husband is in the military and it’s a tough life and tough to be a wife sometimes. But I know I’m a supportive, great wife to my husband.

  112. Valérie says...

    you are right, this is not an easy one.. but: being out of therapy since last week (yay!), let’s put what i learnt to good use and i’ll be kind to myself too, for a few lines.. the thing i like about myself is my non-judgemental interest in basically anything. i am always open to think about something new, open to a differing point of view, to another way of doing and seeing life, to other interests than mine, and will not judge. this curiosity rings with respect for the other, and has become a core value in the education i wish to provide to my children.
    thank you @cupofjo for making us think kindly about ourselves, and celebrating this by sharing in this wonderful community.

  113. Aimee says...

    I like that I’m observant, and that I notice little things that most people don’t. I would always spot discarded shopping lists in baskets and trolleys. I’d take them with me and found them fascinating! Some were so ordered and detailed, while others appeared completely random. I ended up turning it into a Instagram account, where I’ve posted over 250 lists. People from around the world send them to me now. @listful.thinking

  114. Jenny says...

    I am in a period of my life that contains struggle and failure. I am so proud of myself for washing my face, showing up everyday to try again, and just keeping going. I think about watching Rocky with my dad as a girl and how much it meant to him. This is why. Everybody gets knocked down in their lives. It’s beautiful to be a get back upper.

  115. Kamaile says...

    I like my ability to apologize when I’ve wronged someone and make it a point to do that as soon as I can. I like that I am tall – 6 feet. This was not the case growing up but now I love it. I like that I try to see the good in people and understand that they have their own shit going on that has nothing to do with me.

    • Sarz says...

      Accountability is such a rare, memorable trait. :) And forgiveness!

  116. Ivy says...

    I like that I’m not afraid to tackle people/things head-on. This year, as a teacher, I’ve been in extreme opposition of the choices our school board has made in regards to having kids in the classroom full-time. I’ve written multiple letters to the school board and joined as many committees as I can so I can enact change from the ground up. My husband said to me, “Aren’t you afraid this is going to put a target on your back?” He’s hopeful I don’t get fired. But if this is how I go, this is how I go!

    I also like my optimism. They say not to be blindly optimistic because then you’re negating to see true problems in society; however, I think our world is riddled with plenty of pessimists. I want to see things brighter.

  117. ciara bochenek says...

    I’d love to have all these respondents over for a post COVID gathering! So many genuine comments with a hint of humor (and grace)

  118. Rosa says...

    It is weird to talk about the good things about yourself lol. I like that I’m generous with my life and home. Over the years I’ve taken in my teenage godchild who was living in a very stressful situation and kept her until she graduated at the age of 19. She still comes to live with us when she needs to even at the age of 24. I also have a 17 year old nephew who wasn’t going to school come live with me. He started at the local high school last year as a 16 year old in grade 9 and now he’s working on grade 10-11 courses. We don’t always get along and I can be a little selfish with my time but they know in the end that I will always be here for them.

  119. Kelly says...

    I like that I’m funny and smart. I like my enthusiasm for the little things, whether it’s a good cup of coffee or seeing some cool wildlife on the hiking trail. I like that I am caring and principled, and that I try to do what’s good and right as much as possible.

    Also–thank you for this post and for making space for women to talk about ourselves–from what we like to our struggles. It’s what keeps me coming back here!

    • Nancy says...

      Kelly, my loved one just started chemo. It’s so tough but strangely once it gets started, it’s easier than the anticipation. Sending lots of love.

  120. Barb says...

    I have a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 month old. I like how I am able to find the humor in every situation with them, turning every moment into a positive, and really enjoy the time with them. Lately it’s been back-to-back sleepless nights with an ear infection (but that means extra baby cuddles!), and toddler tantrums (but how funny that he wore rainboots for 5 days straight!) – I can take it in stride and laugh about it.

    I also never thought of myself as a patient person, until I had kids. I like how I have developed a new patience to help them learn and become themselves.

  121. Angela Kim says...

    I like the surprise jokes that I can instantly come up with to make my partner laugh, and my tiny ears… I have excellent hearing, but my ears are so small, my grandma used to call them little dumplings. She made me love them too!

  122. Sarah says...

    Oh wow, these comments are so fantastic. What a wonderful question. Usually I would shy away from something like this but here goes!
    – I give great hugs!
    – I am a great listener and somehow people always end up telling me things they’d never normally share with someone else. I think this is because I hold information really gently and non judgementally.
    – My wild curly hair (finally! It’s only taken 36 years!)
    – That I am as good at celebrating people’s triumphs as I am holding their pain. I’m there for it all!
    – My kindness
    Like another commenter, it’s my birthday this weekend and I had been feeling a bit low (lockdown birthday living alone…) but this was such a wonderful reflection to be able to do today and to be inspired by the other CoJ readers who are treating themselves with as much generosity as we would a favourite friend when answering this about ourselves.

  123. Agnès says...

    Last time you posted that question I couldn’t answer and it is difficult but reading the others is so encouraging! I havethought about this: in Paris, people can be a little bit grumpy (total euphemism), and I like that I can break the ice very easily, it has become my superpower. I always talk to people at the market, at the newspaperstand, in the metro; my son might think I’m a bit crazy sometimes but I can’t help it! The baker knows me now and the italian man who sells a beautiful bread in that tiny shop. The grumpy bookshop owner knows me as the customer who always asks for poetry and whose son thinks the shop is a library. I love how being a little informal and close can change the mood at the supermarket, at the post office, at scholl or anywhere and that we can actually meet and know each other instead of being strangers. I loved your piece on the “not-so-stranger strangers” because I feel there are so many in my life! The best is that people in Paris have a great response to that attitude, whoch is not the case everywhere. (ok, I LOVE Paris and my neighbourhood; being locked-down here has been such a revelation). Have a good day, strangers not so strangers.

    • .S. says...

      Agnès I don’t know if you’ll see this, but I think of you as one of my not-so-strangers! Someone commented on a post a while ago saying that reading COJ didn’t feel complete until they read your response, and I totally agree!! Sending lots of love from Canada :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      S, that is the sweetest! Agnès, we love you!

    • Agnès says...

      Thank you .S. from Canada and Joanna, and all the readers. This has been (and is) such a beautiful, healing, caring space. Love reading you! I love you too!

  124. a.n. says...

    i am a really freakin’ hard worker, and proud of it. i don’t just mean at work, although i do work my ass off in my job. i work hard in the gym, i work hard in my relationship to fix the little things i know i need to be mindful of. i read a lot of books and work hard to make time for it in my life with a full time job and 2 small kids. it feels good and empowering to know i’m showing my kids how to show UP.

  125. Isa says...

    Thanks for this challenge :) ! (and it IS challenging)
    I like about myself
    – that I fiercely use gender-neutral language and not (my mothertongue is german), even if I get really courious looks from the old white men I work with :)
    – that I challenge myself to speak up if I experience discrimination (be it against myself or people/groups who are not present)
    – that I really engage in playing even the silliest games with my young daughter
    – that I am able to read other peoples’ love languages, even if they are different from mine and that I’m trying to respond in their way of love language.
    – also, I’m smart and not shy to say so – two things, I like about myself and hope to give to my daughter ;)

    That’s a great exercise, it made my day! Usually I’m very prone to talk myself down, but not today! :)

  126. Molly says...

    I like that I know how to care for myself and that, when necessary, I will put myself first and stand up for myself. And that I am true to myself. It took me awhile to get here, and I hope I can help my daughter get there sooner in her life.

  127. Annie says...

    That I can make up my mind and make decisions. Once that is done, off I go.

  128. Kat O says...

    I’m really good at finding patterns and synthesizing information – I can take a lot of disparate information and find the bigger trend or picture (I would be a great scientist, I bet!). Part of what makes me good at this is my ability to understand things conceptually, instead of just looking at it literally, if that makes any sense.
    I’m also GREAT at using up odds and ends of food, whether that’s meal planning around last week’s cilantro and that half can of tomato paste, or creating a whole meal from pantry staples. Very, very little goes to waste in our house (which actually means we need to buy compost this spring since we don’t make enough on our own haha!).

  129. I love this question cos it’s so positive and encourages us to say something nice about ourselves!
    Would be so great to ask others the same at dinners or in your family :)
    I can read and visualize things really fast so this helps in learning quickly whichever the subject!

  130. Nigerian Girl says...

    I like that I read fast and write well; that when I talk, people listen; that I have a great sense of style and an abundance of self-confidence; that I don’t need to be liked; that I walk my own path; that I am relentlessly stubborn and I never give up; that I make things happen for myself; that when I leave an employer, my absence is felt; that I am considered mysterious, that I enjoy my own company; that, in the words of Warsan Shire, I am “terrifying and strange and beautiful.”

  131. Maggie says...

    I like that how often I can find easy fun with simple giggling – be it giggling with friends, listening to my children giggle, or getting tickled with myself! Giggling is one of those Life’s Extras that I find beautiful to the point of almost spiritual! Something that tickles your heart and awakens your vocal chords when not expected to! That comes easily to me!

  132. Christina says...

    I love this. I hope I remember to get into the habit of this when my one-year-old daughter Anna is older, for her to recognise wonderful things about herself, and to know she has a confident mum who wants to raise a confident daughter!
    -I think I’m pretty quick-witted
    -I’m curious about other people and am good at small talk because of that
    -I love to read, and I love that I love that. I think being curious about other people translates into my book love, because I’m even curious about fictional lives!
    -I feel friendly, I want to be welcoming to others, and I like to smile at everyone (I’m Canadian, I think it’s in our blood!)
    I’m a good balance of a laid-back new mum and being on top of important things

  133. Mimi says...

    I like my curiosity and how on a daily basis I feel joy in ordinary aspects of my life: a cup of tea, a slant of light.

  134. Nicki says...

    I love that I can focus easily. I’ve never felt very comfortable multi-tasking, but enjoy sinking into a specific task whether it’s for fun or for work (when I’m reading a good book or writing about a subject I care about, I don’t hear a thing happening around me).

    I love that I am not afraid to speak up or stand up for myself and others. I am respectful, but direct. I have a low tolerance for bullshit.

    I make the best out of any situation I’m in and don’t lose perspective, even when something feels hard. I love that I am a happy with my life.

  135. Cucutianu Corina says...

    I like that I am gentle and nice to people, no matter the circumstances. I like about myself that I lead by example and I make a better environment around me, be it at work or at home. I haven’t been like this forever, but I taught myself kindness. It is a practice and it takes time, but the outcome is extremely rewarding and I think that this will be my legacy: just being nice.
    I also like about myself that I love unconditionally(also animals!) and I have never ever in my life hated someone. I genuinely don’t know how hatred feels like.

  136. Kay says...

    I like that I am always on time, I am a very punctual person and in case you are wondering, on time actually means 10 minutes beforehand. I have been called many things in my life from aloof to scary (I honestly don’t know what kind of vibes I give off) but never late! I also like that I am tidy, neat, and organised. If you need someone to organise your drawers and cupboards I am your woman. I like that I love baking anything and everything and eating it, every wonderful calories it contains. In fact, baking and eating cake would certainly count as one of my hobbies.

  137. Kimberley says...

    Did the lady who said she was good at folding fitted sheets comment again? Gahh I think about her an inordinate amount (just last night even!), because that is a SKILL!

  138. Ali says...

    Every night my daughter and I discuss what made us proud of ourselves that day! When you make time to think about it every evening, it gets easier to talk about what you’re good at and why you like yourself. For the record, I like that I’m forthright and not good at telling lies. Also, I have really nice hair :)

  139. I am highly sensitive which can be overwhelming at times, but means I am highly attuned to other people’s emotions. For better and worse. When I was preteen I was crying over something I don’t remember, and my Mum was comforting me when she suddenly said, “You know I think you’d make a great nurse, you’re so empathetic.” Unfortunately I’m not a nurse (I imagined my heart would break over every case) but I took it as a great compliment. Until then I never knew that about myself.

  140. Inga says...

    I like that I don’t shy away from speaking truth to power when I feel that’s the right thing to do. It has cost me a [toxic] job and almost cost me my career, but those times I spoke up to shield someone else, or myself, from tyranny are truly the moments I’m proudest of.

  141. Mimi says...

    I love that I am never afraid to give someone (especially a stranger) a genuine compliment.

    Thank you for this prompt. Seeing the beauty in ourselves can feel impossible!

    • Megan says...

      Love this! I’d like to think I’m the same!

  142. Hayley B says...

    I like that I’m insightful — I can usually analyse a situation and work out people’s motivations, fears and psyche based on their behaviours/actions that I’ve observed. This only works for people I know at least somewhat well, of course, but I’m also pretty good at looking for context in macro situations before coming to conclusions. I like that I’m also compassionate, but this has been used against me/taken advantage of before so nowadays I don’t wear that on my sleeve as much. Lastly I like that I’m super conscientious and must see things through whenever I undertake a task, which makes me a great employee but more of a micro-manager as a supervisor, ha.

  143. Deb says...

    You know what I’m taking from this? A whole list of skills I’d love to have. Not in the sense that I can’t find anything I like about myself, but in the sense of “wow that sounds like a great way to be / thing to be good at”. Cracking topic, COJ!

  144. Maya says...

    I like how I try and live an ethical life. I don’t eat animal products, work in human rights, and try and educate myself as much as possible to be an anti-racist ally. I also like that I’m funny! My partner is in splits at least once a day because of my silliness ;)

  145. Amy P says...

    I’m a really good assistant. I rarely want to be the lead on a project but I will support the heck out of the person running the show, and while I struggle to see the “big picture”, I’m excellent at keeping track of the details and my lists of lists make sure I remember it all.

  146. Sabrina says...

    I needed this today. I have crippling! insecurity, but I try and try and try, even when the voices are screaming in my head that I am worthless, I let them be the chorus that keeps me fighting and keeps me trying.

  147. Roxana says...

    As an aside, thank you for posting this Seinfeld/Elaine meme. It’s legit made me LOL. Mr. Pitt. Hahaha! Must now watch some Seinfeld reruns. . .

  148. Emma says...

    I like that I feel all of my emotions so deeply and vividly. Whatever emotion I’m feeling, I practically vibrate with it. It’s not uncommon for me to look at my husband and just start crying because I’m so grateful to have him in my life, and in such awe of loving someone so dearly. He could just be sitting on the couch tooting or picking his nose, and the waterworks just start coming.
    If I see I pretty sunset or a colorful flower, it’s usually not just a “huh, that’s nice” moment for me– instead, I’m breathless. And don’t get me started on being excited for something. Imagine feeling like a little kid on Christmas morning any time you’re looking forward to something. :)
    Downside is that I feel negative emotions this strongly, too, as well as other peoples emotions, but I appreciate even this about myself! I think it’s made me more in tune with myself and more empathetic.

    Also– I am really, really REALLY good at surprises.

  149. SG says...

    I like that I work hard to encourage people’s creative endeavours and be a cheerleader.
    I like that I try to spend time with my daughter where I’m engaged in little mindless activities so she feels comfortable interrupting and chattering away as much as she wants.
    This is such a good exercise, Joanna!

  150. Gilly says...

    I like that I am strong enough to cut my beloved, wonderful, beautiful, special, cherished, destructive alcoholic parents out of my life. Not talking to my mom every day is so painful. She’s my everything. But this is my last attempt to save her life and I have to know I left everything on the field. Fingers crossed for some late life realizations on her part, guys. In the meantime, I’m going to marry the sweetest guy I know and make my own damn family. Love you, mom!

    • Sarz says...

      Congratulations, Gilly! As the child of an addict, your words got me teary-eyed – in a good way. Have a wonderful wedding!