Relationships

What Makes You Secretly Swoon?

What Makes You Secretly Swoon

This past weekend, while trying to practice social distancing…

My boyfriend and I stayed home and watched the documentary Hillary on Hulu — all four parts in one day. At multiple points throughout the documentary, we got choked up at the same time.

Lest you imagine two people openly weeping, this was not the case. (We’re sensitive types who pretend to be stoic.) It’s more like, whenever a story reaches its emotional apex, there is a subtle but unmistakable “sniff, sniff.” We both pretend it’s not happening, but it totally is.

This is not a singular occurrence. (See also: nature shows, multiple episodes of Queer Eye, pretty much the entire film about Danny and Ron’s rescue.) The more it happens, the more we’ve embraced it.

Do I love it? Yes I do.

Just as I’m not much of an outward crier, I’m not much of a swooner, either. But inwardly, I swoon.

When asked about what makes them weak in the knees, some friends had this to say:

“Men running with dogs. Men walking with dogs. Just men with dogs. When I take my dog to the dog park, he gets to have fun with the other dogs, and I get to fraternize with the dog dads. Everybody wins.”

“I have a thing for people who can play an instrument. Also kind of anyone who looks like they might play an instrument.”

“I’m the scheduler in the relationship and I’m usually the one to tackle reservations and plans. So when she takes the lead on making plans for just the two of us, it makes me feel special.”

Says one friend, “I get all fluttery when I see dads being cute with their kids. It’s not, like, a romantic swoon. It’s more of a humanity swoon.”

After much thought, another friend replied, “In 2020, my swoon-worthy things all verge on the esoteric. Like someone who listens.” Amen to that.

How about you? What things make you (secretly or not-so-secretly) swoon?

P.S. Five words that changed my relationship and what are your random turn-ons?

  1. Jessica says...

    Mundane, but when my husband and I walk side by side and he embraces me with his strong arms. I have no idea why but every time, it makes my knees weak.. literally. Everyone be safe and wash your hands!

  2. Elyse says...

    A few weeks ago, I was chaperoning a middle school field trip. One of the boys in my group insisted that we pause our scavenger hunt because his mom worked nearby and she was going to come say hi. Between Mom in her incredibly stylish suit taking time out of her work day to hug her son and her son (who had been too-cool-for-school most of the morning) lighting up when he saw his mom walk up, I think I experienced a double-swoon.

  3. Meredith says...

    In a new relationship, after divorcing my husband of 17 years last year. It was a verbally and emotionally abusive marriage, and among other things, he would tell me frequently how ugly my feet were. Like any time I was barefoot outside or had sandals on. I thought my feet were actually pretty nice looking, but it still hurt and made me self conscious. Never shared this though. Fast forward to new boyfriend sitting on edge of bed running his hand down my leg and stopping at my foot, cupping it in his hands and saying “you have the prettiest feet I’ve ever seen”. Swoon :)

    • Samantha says...

      I love this! I’m so happy for you. :)

    • Julia says...

      Yay! You SO deserve that… and more. <3

  4. When we’re out with friends and he makes everyone at the table laugh. He always makes me laugh, but I just love seeing other people delighted by him!

    Also, when his hair gets a little long in the back and curls around his ears *heart eyes*

  5. Ooh, I love this question! I’m not sure I have an answer for it off the top of my head. I’m going to read through the comments right now and start my own list. :)

  6. Meredith says...

    Anytime someone calls me by my nicknames, Mimi or Mere-Mere (Especially my niece and nephews or my cousins’ children. I turn into a puddle and will do anything for them). I don’t just let anyone call me by a nickname, so it’s really personal when they do.

    • Mary Beth says...

      This one didn’t come to me until I read yours! I love a good MB or Mary B!

  7. Emily says...

    My 12.5 year old son texted me on Sunday while leaving a movie to tell me the end credits had an original song by my favorite singer, Brandi Carlile. He was at the movie with his friends and it made my heart swell that he recognized her voice and thought of me because he knows how much I love her.

    • Mimi says...

      I love this!!

    • Claire says...

      Swooning right along with you! Brandi Carlile is my one true love and your son sounds delightful!

  8. Nikki says...

    My husband is in the Marine Corps and every daylight savings spring ahead they “roll their sleeves up” in their camis. I. DIE. Those strong arms in the rolled-up sleeves in camo uniform. With his name plate and short perfectly cut hair. SWOON.

    (And I’m not the only one, supposdely more babies are born that week in December in military hospitals than any other week lol)

  9. Rusty says...

    I’ve read all the comments…twice!
    We’re firmly hunkered down to ride out Coronavirus with leaving the house only if necessary and I’ve been thinking a LOT about how wonderful, genuine and totally supportive this CoJ community is!
    Then, as I read the comments I realised that a song that makes me swoon, tear up and enbrace humanity….sums “us” up perfectly.
    I think it should be Australia’s national anthem.
    The key is the version that includes Indiginous language and lines about how the Aborigines “…watched the tall ships come…”.
    Then, “We are one, but we are many, and from all the lands on Earth we come….I am, you are, we are Australian…”
    Well, CoJ community….I am, you are….THIS!
    Thank you, Jo, for creating this space for us to just be exactly who we are.
    ?

  10. First of all, all of these comments are making me swoon!

    Second, my list:

    I had an ex who would place a cup of peppermint tea on the nightstand while I meditating in bed. Sweetest thing in the entire world.

    The way the Brits say “water”, makes me swoon hard.

    Seeing couples in love, be in love!

  11. Maria says...

    My mom is in the hospital right now and I’d called my husband at work to update him. Later that night at home, I noticed a scrap piece of paper – he’d taken notes to remember what I said and to be able to share with family on my behalf, so I didn’t have to field everything. I don’t know why it struck me so much – it’s so simple. But the sight of his chicken scratch made me tear right up.

    • E says...

      This is beautiful <3 sorry to hear about your mum, Maria. Holding you in the light.

    • Claire says...

      That’s lovely, Maria! Thinking of you and your mother, and happy your husband is looking out for you and your family!

  12. Emily L says...

    Fresh haircuts.
    Men in white buttondowns and jeans.
    When I’m in a blanket and my husband “tucks me in” around all the edges with a grin.
    Little kids in outdoors gear or adorable dresses.
    When my girlfriends show up looking like they could totally kick ass.
    When a woman tells her mind (like Hannah Ann last night on the Bachelor or Liz Warren ALWAYS).

  13. Lauren R. says...

    Men with wedding rings on, I love seeing them on public transport/at the airport/work. I always think of how all these guys around us have lives and families and husbands or wives who care about them and are (presumably) missing them. They’re someone’s everything and they make someone feel special!!

    Also, men in beauty stores!!! Totally clueless, and just wanting to make someone happy! My favorite

  14. Rusty says...

    Hahaha ?
    Not such a big swoon when you live in Australia! Too much of a good thing, maybe? Hahaha

  15. Annie says...

    When I was about 9 weeks pregnant in the fall, I wasn’t sure if it felt “real” to my husband yet. Then, totally out of the blue one day, he said “I decided I want the MESH Ergo Baby, it’ll be more comfortable in the summer. In navy blue”. I blinked, stunned. I didn’t even know what an Ergo Baby was?! My heart still bursts when I think about it. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks but now I’m 6 weeks again and feel so lucky to have a swoon-worthy partner in parenting.

    • I love this! Babywearing men are 100% swoonworthy. My husband often wears our baby and we have an Ergo in tulip fabric. Makes me laugh!

  16. liz says...

    I swoon over men and women who are competent but humble. arrogance/vanity are my least favorite traits so I love extra when I meet people who could brag but instead understand that we can ALL learn from each other

    • YES.
      this.
      so much this.
      Humbleness is my biggest swoon ever. especially coming from people who have a lot to brag about but don’t.

  17. tina crisas says...

    Today I choked up while I was telling my sister that my student (12 years old, learning English as a foreign language in Greece) simply outdid herself on a speaking assignment. There were advanced expressions and vocabulary, adjectives, thoughtful answers, comparison and contrast done right- I was just speechless when I was listening to her. She’s also such a great girl, thoughtful, kind and such a cutie pie. She’ll definitely be going places and I’m so happy to be a small part in her journey along the way.

  18. Rue says...

    Boyfriend pretends to be stoic about the concept of children because he has shared that he is scared about the idea of having children, while also knowing it is something he wants to do, in part because it scares him, and in part because the thinks his fears are selfish and not worth basing his decision on.

    Every. Damn. Time. we interact with a kid, whether it’s a family member, friend, or stranger, he gets all bright and warm and just PERFECT with the kid. Not disingenuous or patronizing, either, but just that pure energy that kids bring out in the right people. He’s suddenly scooping up his niece so she can get a better look at something in a museum, or quietly chatting with a kid next to him on an airplane. UGH.

    • Maria says...

      Literally, SAME.

  19. Claire says...

    Kindness.
    Thoughtfulness.
    And everything that everyone else has already said.

    When someone looks at me and says “so how are you?” and really seriously wants to know.
    (this is a sweet and uplifting read- like a balm to my weary anxious soul. Thanks. I am reading every single one of the comments.)

  20. Laura says...

    The way my husband tenderly looks after our plants, or when he offers to drive me to work (an hour 45 one way) on days he’s working from home and doesn’t need to leave the house.

  21. Virginia says...

    Peanut butter! Yesterday my boyfriend went to the grocery store (I’m usually the shopper in our house) and bought the organic peanut butter he’s only seen me get once, months ago, but remembered. He’s not usually super detail-oriented so I felt very seen :)

    (I also asked him for 2 specific bottles of wine, and he came home with 2 of each…which is an obvious win :)

  22. Eli says...

    I am in a fresh, very new relationship after recently divorcing and I am very acutely aware of the little things that never happened in my previous relationship (ever!), but my new man does, like it is nothing. Remembering when I say a song is one of my favorites and then singing it to me occasionally (or playing it in the middle of the workout class he is coaching… just a little nod to me). Or, he took care of my cat for the first time while I was out of town this past weekend. I received pictures of sweet Aubie cuddled into his lap, or feeding him treats. (And this man is a dog lover). He bough me groceries because my flight got in late Monday and he knew I would need some fresh groceries for lunch on Tuesday.

    The little details… wow. :) Also, he looks after the little kids while their parents workout and wow… seeing him with toddler or small child. All the heart eyes. He is a natural father and it is beautiful to see how much he lights up and transforms around a small human being. Total swoon. This man… <3

    • Dayna says...

      Amen to all of this! Congrats on your new love.

  23. liz says...

    jw – where did you find that picture? It’s so cute! I can’t tell if it’s a retro or modern

  24. Annie says...

    Totally weird swoon moment. But my fiance does not like cats. Like at all. And I have two of them and I love them so much. The other day he was over and I was in the bathroom. One of my cats sneezed and I heard him say “Bless you!” Then I came out of the bathroom and my cat was on the chair with him. SWOON.

    • Emily L says...

      That’s adorable!!

    • Emily says...

      This is so cute!

  25. Maranda says...

    I second the comment about being a planner, and swooning when my husband takes the lead and makes a plan. He once booked a night at a local Bed & Breakfast and a night out to a restaurant and it was ALL I could talk about for days. I loved that surprise so much. <3

  26. Olivia Virginia says...

    Men is conservative or simple clothes but, loud socks. Wayyyyyy before Trudeau. There’s just something about a guy in a serious Black suit, sitting and you see polkadots, purples, or ducks or something. It’s analogous to a flash of lace beneath a power suit. But, that’s the closest a gent can come without being a total scumbag ’cause no one wants a flash of boxers.

  27. Christina M says...

    I have a pic of my husband with my son, who was about a year old at the time. He’s holding him at a piano, with his sleeves rolled up, you can see his wedding ring and watch, and the most beautiful loving smile looking at the baby.
    Swoon, swoon, swoon.

    also – totally random – when hubby throws something in the trash from far away, like it’s a basketball hoop, he sinks it, and then gives me a wink. gets me every time.

  28. Becky says...

    When I’m meeting my husband in public and I see him as the crowd parts reminds me of our early dating days for some reason. I feel super lucky that he’s walking to me!
    Other things, how he interacts with our dog. He puts her fleece on when it’s cold, brings the water bowl to her when she has gone for long periods without drinking, and generally how he showers her with affection. She adores him. He rescued her after she sat for months in a shelter.

  29. Nic says...

    Ever since our first date my partner has, automatically and without fail, helped me with my jacket. It surprised me the first time and made the independent feminist in me jump a little but I just let it go and now it’s a thing. He’ll get up before me and grab it and hold it up for me to slip my arms into. Its so simple but caring and people pick up on it all the time – a small gesture that always makes me feel loved and seen – N

  30. Hattie says...

    The first time I heard the Boston Gay Men’s Chorus perform, I was smitten. There’s something special about the sound of men’s beautiful voices singing in unison.

  31. Abby says...

    Definitely subscribing to the scheduling thing. I am usualy scheduling and about half a year ago I said it would be nice to just sometimes not be scheduler (I love scheduling, so I don’t need it to be taken of my load generally). And so when my partner every other month or so schedules for us to see an exhibit or go to Japanese brunch (what?! how cool!), I am totally swooned!
    Other times: when my partner is just a decent human being with civil courage. For example when he helps out a struggling mother with the pram to get on the tram or picks up trash that “fell” out of someone’s pocket or when he distracts a man who is pestering a female passenger and seeks his attention to divert it from her. These are my ultimate swoon moments!

  32. Rita Dantas says...

    The kids thing, yes (including the father of my own kids).
    Another one: men eating ice cream alone.
    I think it is because, for me, that self-indulgence, that solitary and non-pragmatic pursuit of pleasure, suggests someone in touch with their physical sensations, so, shortly, sex.

  33. Alice says...

    My boyfriend shows a lot of affection by doing small, sweet things for people. On Sunday morning, I had a *raging* hangover (we’d been to a whiskey tasting the night before… we tried 16 whiskies and then shared a bottle of wine with dinner. Ouch). Halfway through making Sunday morning pancakes, my sugar levels tanked and I thought I was going to faint. He basically carried me back to bed, brought me tea and juice, finished the pancakes, helped me to the table, and stroked my head while I lay on the sofa feeling sorry for myself afterwards, showing me clips from Gremlins to cheer me up. Then he did all the washing up, and even searched under my sink for a screwdriver so he could tighten the screw on the wobbly handle of my frying pan, which I didn’t realise he’d done until I used it again last night.

    Massive, massive swoon. He’s the very best.

  34. Laura says...

    When my husband is concentrating or distracted, he’ll run his hands through his very thick hair and it will stick straight up, which he won’t realize until I point it out. I call it his mad scientist hair. <3

    Also, when my toddler lays his head on our shoulder and pats our back when we’re holding him, just like we do for him.

    • alexis says...

      my baby does this too, i love it so much! <3 or if i hurt myself she'll toddle over and give me the sweetest little peck on whatever part of me she can reach (so, like, my knee or my elbow or something) and toddle off again to do her own thing and it always makes me feel better.

  35. Neela says...

    I love seeing my husband in a white shirt. Especially with the sleeves rolled up.

    • Mary Beth says...

      I’ve always referred to this look as “wedding reception shirt.” Like the formal, scripted part of the day is over and now I’m just going to cut loose, but still be in a button-up!

  36. Lil says...

    Oh, give me a break.

    That documentary would elicit pure rage from my boyfriend and I. How cute…

  37. rachel says...

    A rugged type male in a backwards hat, driving a beat up old truck, with his hand on the passenger side head rest…my hubby does this. swoon… i also LOOVEEE when he comes home from work (construction) smelling sweaty and liked he worked really hard… im done for

  38. Janey says...

    The way my husband gives the dog a kiss goodbye when he leaves to work :)

  39. Kaitlyn says...

    The first day of spring, where you can take your coat off outside.

    People using the word ‘wee’, to describe something small.

    When an older lady in a cafe, bakery or shop calls me ‘duck!’

    • Rusty says...

      Hahaha ?
      That’s what we Aussie women say i stead of “pee”!

  40. Liana says...

    Men hopping from roof to rooftop.
    Specifically Brad Pitt’s character in ‘Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’ (working construction) and Michael Mando in ‘Better Call Saul’ ( s5. 2)
    Jumping from roof to roof to impress his boss to steal his meth back.
    Rewind! (Do we still call it rewinding?)

    • jdp says...

      oh totally. that brad pitt rooftop scene. gratuitous? maybe. but thank you, tarantino, for including it….!

  41. Erin says...

    My new lover noted that I talk about my period every time there is a full moon so despite the fact that we’ve only known each other a few months, he’s very attune to my cycle! The fact that he listens and observes the details makes me swoon.

  42. B says...

    Store managers who step up and help out during busy periods. There are several in my store (I work at Barnes and Noble) and they step up and do whatever is needed – we have a cafe and they ring, they help take out trash, etc. After a series of not great supervisors, this is a refreshing change.

  43. Rachel says...

    Shawl collar jumpers or cardigans on men. The jumpers just look so cosy and like the men wearing them would give the best cuddles. I may or may not have bought one for my husband specifically for this reason.

  44. Hanh says...

    From strangers: men who are musicians. But in general men who are deeply engaged, knowledgeable and passionate about something.

    From my husband: when he makes coffee and put a traveling cup of it in my car before I get drive it to work, warning up my spot on the bed… any many other things.

  45. Apple says...

    These are such sweet and eloquent comments. I’d love to hear what makes men swoon too.

    • Maria says...

      Second this! Maybe the CoJ team could solicit input from a bunch of men for a post :)

  46. Pam says...

    I swoon over watching kids perform something in a parade – like a high school marching band, or a gymnastics group. Like, they practiced so hard and damn I’m so proud of them and I’m not even their parent!

    Also, making food for people is my love language, so whenever I’m on the receiving end – hubby cooking dinner, or pumpkin bread from a friend, total swoon.

    • elly says...

      oh yes, i tear up reading the small-town newspaper sports section at my parents’ house – those kids just tried their best!

  47. The last time I swooned hard: my family took me out to ramen for my birthday, and this college kid waited on ten of us (including 3 rambunctious kids under 8). My sis-in-law brought cupcakes to eat there and after they sang happy birthday to me (quietly, since I’m shy about gatherings in public places like this), our waiter came out with a ukulele and just started strumming. It quieted the whole restaurant. He did a cover of “Can’t Help Falling In Love” singing straight at me (see version at yt link below). The whole restaurant erupted in cheers and claps. I thanked him profusely for the song, and he shyly nodded and put it away and got back to work again. It was kind and sweet, I’ll never forget it.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ThQkrXHdh4

  48. Emily says...

    Sometimes my husband will offer to hold my purse for me (bc I’m going to the bathroom and don’t want to bring it in or some other reason). Can’t explain it, but there is something about coming from the bathroom and seeing him happily standing alone rocking a women’s crossbody that just makes me swoon.

    Also when he makes turkey burgers and cooks a special little mini one for our dog to enjoy.

  49. Lily says...

    Kind of a different angle, but to the commenter who noticed many of these examples are about men being basically competent (LOL, true tho!) …

    I submit the good ole “teacher swoon”!

    Notes from students at the end of the class about how much they learned despite their initial skepticism (swoon!), students bringing up things from one class in another class so you know they were secretly listening (swoon!), students from years back sending poems by email (swoon!), former students going on to great things (swoon!).

    I saw a tweet one time that was like, it’s a shame my students will never know how much I love them, and I think about that all the time.

  50. K says...

    Men cooking, cleaning, playing instruments, playing with babies, playing with dogs, that are worried about their grandmas

  51. alison says...

    I’m up at a cabin with my fiancee – escaping the plague – and I turned and asked him “is there something I do that makes you secretly swoon?”

    His reply was a very confused “huh?” and then “if I told you it wouldn’t be a secret.” Good save my love… good save…

  52. Mandy says...

    This post should be a book. I’ve read every single comment. Best cheer up ever for this morning! xx

  53. I’ve been dating some and I’ve been thinking about this a lot.

    All the men I’ve ever fell in love with, LOVED my dog and vice versa. Red flag someone who does not give into those big green eyes and floppy ears. Roxy my pup knows. We got through my divorce together, and she’s always here saying, Mom really? That guy didn’t even ask to help with the dishes. She’s forever pawing them for MORE pets PLEASE.

    I recently had a fine Argentine man I was dating over for dinner. He woke up me at 4 am to tell me my dog was on the bed. I asked him to leave and put my dog in the bed for cuddles. Dog’s know, better than we do.

  54. Emma says...

    Oh, Paul Newman baby blues staring deeply into your eyes that go to your heart and soul……

  55. Ana says...

    Honestly always thought it was weird when women said they found men doing chores sexy, but then I got married…Yesterday my husband did the laundry and folded it AND called Delta (I HATE MAKING PHONE CALLS) all without me asking. I came home to folded laundry and a rebooked flight and almost fainted!

  56. Erin says...

    Seeing a well-dressed man, in glasses, reading a book in public. (My heart is beating faster just writing this.)

  57. Tiffani says...

    My bf is super adorable so it’s hard to narrow things down. But 1. He looooves birds, and is an avid birdwatcher. That line in his dating profile and was a huge part of why I decided to go out with him. 2. He loves my cats. He even convinced me to keep a kitten my daughter and I found in a bush last summer 3. I have a 14 year old daughter and at least twice a month we try to have a family dinner where we eat and watch whatever program we can agree on. He gets so excited about these dinners and spends a lot of time looking for shows and movies he thinks my daughter will like. He is the most tender hearted man I’ve ever met and makes me swoon constantly.

  58. Confidently but casually explaining something that I had no idea about, and didn’t know that they knew either. So secretive and impressive!

  59. OO says...

    When my husband calls our dog “sweetheart.”

  60. Laura says...

    In a man: self awareness. Recently saw Antonio Banderas on Colbert talking about how his heart attack changed him, and he so fully, articulately inhabited his body and mind. Also: gardening. Big hat, pruners in a pocket, lovingly moving lady bugs to where the aphids are.

    In a friend: love of books, willingness to discuss. And a lack of vanity. Come as you are to the coffee shop.

    • Masa says...

      This is so nice!

    • H says...

      Aw I love what you look for in a friend. Very sweet

    • Brooke says...

      Laura, I love what you put for a friend. Same here! Sometimes I swoon seeing a friend’s bookshelf and adoring their book taste ;). Also, “Come as you are to the coffee shop” is so dear.

  61. a man with a kitchen towel draped over his shoulder. HOLY CRAP!!! absolute swoon-worthy moment!!

    the first time my now-husband invited me to his place when we were dating, I could hardly collect myself as he poured me a glass of wine while a chicken was roasting in the oven, soft Bossa nova playing in the background, and HIM, with that kitchen towel draped effortlessly so – a sign that he not only knew his way around a kitchen, but also expressed love through a home cooked meal.

    ten years later, I am continually swooned. the towel, a bonus :)

    • Kamaile says...

      Whoa so co-signing on this! I have a similar memory of MY now husband doing the same thing when we were first dating and it was fun to read your comment. :-)

  62. Rae says...

    We’re dog sitting for 2 days, and our cats are not happy about it. Our wee girl made her home in the garage, on top of our hot water cylinder. When I went out this morning, my husband had left a bowl of food and water for her on the washing machine ?

  63. Sarah D says...

    This one is strange, but I swoon a little when someone yawns while they’re talking. I love it because it’s something you only do with people you’re intimate with–the closest family members or lovers. So when one of them does it, it reminds me of our intimacy.

  64. Megan Lec says...

    I’m the kind of gal that cries over nearly everything but two swoon worthy moments come to mind. The first comes each night as I hug and kiss my toddler goodnight and as he walks towards his room he scream yells “I love you” back and forth with me. It melts me each and every time. The other came from my much less mushy husband at our first Disney World trip with our son. Leo is of course Frozen obsessed and he watched the parade in silent wonder. As the parade concluded Leo begged to see Anna and Elsa again. Moments later with our son on his shoulders my husband is darting through the crowd racing towards the front of the park, making it just in time to see the entire parade for a second time. I weeped chasing behind with the stroller. It was just this moment of immense love and I felt so lucky to have them both.

  65. H says...

    Sleeves rolled up the forearm. Chest hair peeking out over a collar. Oof.

    • Omg, rolled up sleeves. KILLS me.

    • Yessss, this one. The forearm swoon is REAL.

    • Lia says...

      Sleeves rolled for sure!!!!

    • Tshego B says...

      1. Men that hold eye contact (not in a creepy way!)
      2. Gap toothed smiles (*woof*)

    • Rusty says...

      Ooooh…….yeeeeeeah!

    • Nikki says...

      I just commented above about sleeves rolled up! My husband is in the Marine Corps and every daylight savings spring ahead they “roll their sleeves up” in their camis. SWOON. Those strong arms in the rolled-up sleeves in camo uniform.
      (And we are not the only ones ladies, supposedly more babies are born that week in December in military hospitals than any other week lol)

  66. Watching any sort of running event for a good cause makes me totally tear up. Also, watching Simone Biles with my kids.

    • Sarah says...

      Oh my goodness, I weep openly at the Boston Marathon every year! And watching The Olympics makes me so choked up. I’m not even athletic!

  67. Shannon says...

    I’m teaching a mountaineering class with my partner this spring and swoon whenever he is teaching students something new! I was watching him demo how you can safely set up a rappel (arguably the most dangerous part of climbing mountains) and felt my heart flip when he was explaining the steps to people who are totally new to the sport. I love when people are excited about something, and are excited to share it with others!

    • Abby says...

      oh gosh yes!!! teaching partners are hot!

  68. Andrea says...

    On chilly nights when we go to bed my husband will lay on my side of the bed under the covers to warm it up for me. And we’re new grandparents and seeing my husband with his little grandson, oh my heart! Hearing him sing softly Beatles songs, getting those precious belly laughs out of the baby. And being an astronomer telling him how much he’s going to teach him all about the planets and the universe! This baby will grow up to learn what a special papa he has. And that makes me swoon.

    • Morgan says...

      Oh my gosh, warming up Your side of the bed, what a sweet gesture ❤️

    • Molly says...

      This is just the sweetest thing! Thank you for sharing this.

    • Cherie says...

      OMG this comment is swoon worthy

    • Amy says...

      Oh Andrea! I especially loved your comment. How sweet!

    • rachel says...

      oh my gosh!!! That is the sweetest most thoughtful thing ever, that your hubby lays on your side of the bed to warm it up!!! you chose well!

    • H says...

      Your swoon message made ME swoon!

    • Kiki says...

      Laying on your side.

      That is LOVE.

    • Kim says...

      Oh my gosh! This is sooo sweet!! Enjoy every moment with your grandbaby!

  69. JV says...

    Love these, Marlena ?

  70. After we adopted our cat, my partner bought a ton of Jenny Linsky books to read to our little darling at night. Maybe a little unusual, but definitely a lot of swoon-worthy moments.

    • Emily L says...

      I love that!! Those books are the best!

  71. Ashley says...

    Ugh. So many things. Men being cute with cats is a big one! When my now husband and I started dating, before we even lived together, he decided to adopt a cat, having NEVER owned one. I remember going over to his house and he answered the door with the cat in his arms. I melted.

  72. Clare says...

    The joy and ferocity of the USWNT.
    My husband, who loves women’s soccer.
    Kids cheering at women’s soccer games.

    Did I mention women’s soccer?

    • Brooke says...

      Women’s soccer, YES!! So much swooning during this last round of USWNT badass, victorious, gritty, joy!

  73. Marisa says...

    I love this! I also am married to a scientist. Once in a while, he will be thinking about something very intensely, while writing on a piece of paper. I’ll come over and see that he’s drawn a structural formula. Gets me every time!

    • Yes! My (engineer) husband draws graphs and charts for everything he can’t explain using just words. It’s so hot.

    • Erin says...

      I work in science and find these comments hilarious. Structural formulas, graphs and charts are just … efficient communication. Necessary. Not a bid to be seen as hot. To me they’re about as swoon-worthy as, oh, laundry symbols on clothing tags? Recipes that call for “1 tbsp.” of something? But maybe I should add to my online dating profile that I’m hoping to find someone who sees my ability to draw graphs as an indicator of how swoony I am? LOL.

  74. jane says...

    Gentlemanly behavior does it for me. When I see kindness and consciousness in action in daily life, from a man, it is nearly a spiritual experience. That’s how rare it’s been in my experience and I can’t think of any other thing I’d love more than to see that become the norm. Til then, I swoon.

  75. Kerry says...

    Last night, my 16yo son texted me on his walk home from practice: “MOM LOOK AT THE MOON” A big huge swoon.

    My 9yo son tells me when I “smell pretty.” SWOON.

    My boyfriend has this confident, athletic body language that is just… woah. Sparky swoon.

  76. j says...

    my husband around groups of friends/family. being around him with other people feels like I get to see him with new eyes, and I’m reminded of his charm, and his humor, and everything that made me fall in love with him in the first place. and its especially great when i’m in that headspace, admiring the way he is around other people, and he touches me or gives me a look that feels like it’s just ours.

    • Pam says...

      Yes!!! All of this, same.

  77. Julia says...

    Early on in my relationship with my boyfriend, we met his parents for breakfast who had been married 43 years. After we ordered, the waitress brought pancake accoutrements out to the table early: butter and syrup. Almost immediately after that, his dad excused himself from the table. He came back several minutes later with a little bag from the convenience store around the corner. Why? “…to buy real butter for his bride.” His wife pursed her lips for a quick kiss and ate her meal like this happened every day but my eyes immediately filled with tears (phew! no one noticed). Never in my life had I witnessed such a gesture of love. Totally swoon-worthy!

    Update: My boyfriend and I are now married and his parents just celebrated 52 years together last August!

    • Katt says...

      How sweet!

    • Yulia says...

      This is the absolute best! Your father-in-law sounds like an absolute doll.

  78. Beth says...

    any man putting his hand on the passenger seat headrest when reversing. whoa

    also, witnessing gestures of friendship in public. every single time i am seated next to men at brunch together, i cant help but eavesdrop on what they are talking about. usually its so much more tender than you’d expect for bros :)

    • Cari says...

      Whoah, yes! What is it about the reversing?!?

    • Martini says...

      Beth, what’s with the arm over the seat while backing up? I have the same exact thing. Crazy.
      There’s one of the last scenes in “Steel Magnolia’s” when Sam Shepard pulls his Jeep up to let the in-labor woman in to take her to the hospital and he puts his arm over the seat and I just go nuts. There it is…I’m nuts.

      Someone here mentioned men’s shirt sleeves rolled up 3/4. Makes me swoon, too.
      Whats with the arm thingys?

    • Jana says...

      “any man putting his hand on the passenger seat headrest when reversing.” OMG Yes! :)

    • Emma says...

      SO niche re reversing… but I feel ya!

    • Susannah says...

      Yes to the headrest thing! And when he steers with the heel of his hand while reversing – swoon

    • Laura C. says...

      “any man putting his hand on the passenger seat headrest when reversing. whoa” –> THIS

  79. Lucy says...

    Meeting somebody really authentic (somebody who cannot be anybody else then himself/herself, no matter how strange or annoying he/she may seem to be) or reading about somebody really sensitive – like Marcel Proust, or Franz Kafka.

  80. Britt says...

    Men who rock climb. Just makes a guy 10x hotter. Love well defined back muscles. Haha.
    On a more serious level, when someone remembers specific details of what I’ve said or says something in which I feel heard, seen, and understood.

  81. patricia blaettler says...

    Once when I was sick I was too weak to stand in the shower so I took a bath instead and my husband washed my hair for me. And he has big hands. It was awesome!

  82. Celeste says...

    Old men grocery shopping. I make up stories like maybe their spouse is sick or they were thoughtful enough to remember the milk, or maybe they’re widowed. And hidden jokes with my spouse when we finish each other’s stories or know the joke punchline without saying it. Just to make up on creeping ;)

  83. Jessie says...

    Men wearing aprons cooking for you. I swear I feel my heart skip a beat every single time.

    There is something about my boyfriend wearing my gorgeous (but very feminine) french-style striped apron that just makes me want to squeeze him SO tight.

  84. Lucy ♥ says...

    People fixing their hair. Sometimes it’s a quick tousle, sometimes it’s a closer inspect-and-place, but there’s something so vulnerable yet universal about wanting your hair to be just so.

  85. this is such a random swoon… but I completely swoon over men who sit with their legs crossed. ESPECIALLY if they’re reading a book and/or drinking coffee. I don’t know exactly what it is, but to me there’s something precious and SO attractive about a man sitting with his legs crossed.

    • Yes! It never occurred to me that I liked this, but now that you say it – totally!

    • Laura says...

      YEEEEESSSS!!!! ME TOO!

    • Laura says...

      Ohhhhhhh. My amazing dad does this- always in his 501 Levi’s and flannel shirt. Love. Swoon.

    • M says...

      HAHAHA omg! Once I was walking in Rome with my husband and a couple of friends… And inside this cafe, there was this clearly italian guy with his legs crossed, perfect fitted suite, reading a book and drinking some dessert wine. We all stopped to look at him, like a fish inside an aquarium. He was just so attractive. And it was my friend’s husband that first noticed. hahahaha

  86. Louisa says...

    Competence.

    • Jedalyn Lipsun says...

      SAME!

    • Victoria says...

      TIMES A MILLION YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  87. Joyce says...

    Men driving stick shift!!!

    • Anonymous says...

      Yes was going to say this!! My husband and I both can drive stick shift but his manual car stopped working so now just automatic. Sigh .

  88. Elle says...

    A man making pancakes.

    A man talking to a cat.

    Men carrying bouquets with pleasant, businesslike expressions, rather than guilty, “I owe somebody an apology” looks.

    A woman walking confidently in beautiful shoes.

    Women wearing very bright lipstick. Takes nerve.

    Children holding stuffed animals.

    A little girl or boy carrying a package of cupcakes in the store. I swoon.

    • Roxana says...

      This is a fantastic list! I am on board with all of it (swoon ;)!

    • Nicole says...

      These are so good! I totally agree about women wearing nice shoes- when I see a woman wearing great shoes and just rocking them, I want to give her a high five! (As I walk by in my wide toe-box running shoes haha.)

    • Sydni Jackson says...

      Children holding stuffed animals. —> my heart melts at just the thought!!

  89. Eleanor says...

    Any chore-type behavior gets me going… someone clearing dishes, wiping the counter, refilling the water cooler at work… perhaps it’s because I am capable and do all those things, but when someone else takes care of it, they are unintentionally taking care of me?

  90. HM says...

    My husband’s advice for new dads always gets me:
    We’ve had a few male friends say they’re kind of at a loss for how to help with a new baby, and my husband is always like:
    Okay, buddy. If mom is caring for baby, dad’s job is to care for mom.
    Get her a glass of water, get her a snack, ask what she needs! Ask if she’d like to go for a walk, take a shower, run a solo errand. Ask if YOU can take the baby for a walk. Give the bath. Change the diaper. Take pictures of mom and baby. Brag about your baby on Instagram! Buy groceries. Make dinner. And for goodness’ sake, do the dishes!

    • b says...

      swoon indeed

    • jane says...

      AMEN to your husband and to your good fortune!

    • jdp says...

      all the swoons.

    • margoulette says...

      Love it!

    • Eileen says...

      Boom! This is great. Screenshot it for future dads I know (aka. my brother)

  91. jdp says...

    eye contact held for a beat too long; happy to dance whatever the actual skill level; good at games without boasting; good at spelling. swoooon.

    • Keely says...

      THIS is a fantastic list.

    • Reem Faruqi says...

      Made me smile!

  92. Ari says...

    I swoon over the relationship my son and husband have with each other, as they are both tender-hearted, intelligent, and sensitive. They also both have personalities that thrive with deep immersion, so one of my favorite things to do is just watch them tune everything out to do something together (draw, read, play guitar, whatever). I love watching the way they look at each other when they are feeling loved by each other.

    We were at the mall recently and I went to change my son’s diaper while my husband dropped something off. We were waiting for him by the bathroom in the food court when my son started running and shouting “Dadda! Dadda!” while weaving around people holding trays of food and drinks. I couldn’t see my husband anywhere. Then, I noticed a man wearing the same hat as my husband and had a similar beard, so I told my son, “that’s not daddy, he just looks like him.” But then I noticed that even further in the distance WAS daddy! My son truly only had eyes for him.

  93. Emilie says...

    Another humanity swoon – men who have respectful and close relationships with their mothers. A mother-son pair strolling and laughing arm and arm in the park. A 35-year-old raving about how he’d rather go skiing with his mum than any of his buddies and here’s why. My friend who moved home to small town Canada from Harvard (at age 30) to support his mum when she recovered from a health scare without a word or question. It can also be a romantic swoon! We are trying to be better with money, so my boyfriend saved his pennies for a flight to California to surprise his mum for her birthday. He knows it will mean the world to her, and so it will, in turn, mean the world to him.

  94. AJ says...

    I think the last time I actually involuntarily proper swooned was on a date with a woman last summer who, at some point mid conversation, mentioned her amazing DIY skills – which was impressive enough (I have zero DYI skills but so much admiration for anyone who does) but she then proceeded to show me a picture on her phone of herself renovating a boat. Dust mask, tool belt, sander, the works. We didn’t date for much longer, boat-sanding aside, it wasn’t meant to be (although she did keep me calm on the phone during a plumbing emergency a few weeks later when a pipe under the sink sprung a leak!)

  95. T says...

    My hubby in a backwards hat. Gets me every time.

    • Anne says...

      I was going to say the same thing!!!

    • Bobbi says...

      Yes! Adding this to my list. When my husband is about to go out on a run and he puts a backwards cap on and is searching around for his earbuds, I always go in for an extra long hug. So swoony.

    • rachel says...

      YES!!!

  96. Elspeth says...

    A few years ago at Christmas our colleagues were all doing secret Santa. I found out a few weeks afterwards that the guy who got my name went out and bought me a bottle of nice red wine and told another colleague about it. She told him I didn’t drink. Instead of giving it to me anyway, he bought a basket and filled it with different kinds of tea, hot chocolate, candy bars, a mug and coffee syrup. He wrapped it beautifully and labelled it ‘Emergency Night In Kit’. It was so nice even when I didn’t know who it was from, and made even better knowing he’d put thought into it just for me. He was only 20 years old and it made me have faith in the younger generation! ?

    • b says...

      That’s really sweet

  97. Calla says...

    When men do playful/childlike things purely for their own enjoyment. For example I had an ex who would get really amped up and try to jump his bike off the sidewalk when we were riding around doing errands. He also once spent a good 15 minutes on his stomach watching some ants and narrating their goings-on to me.

    Also GIGGLES. Men letting a giggle escape is so joyful it nearly makes my knees buckle.

  98. Maggie says...

    My husband is totally that person who can visit a place once and then instantly be able to drive/walk everywhere without directions (!). I’m certainly not one of those lucky people, and find the trait so attractive.

  99. Marlena says...

    My husband will sometimes tell our 5 year old son things like “Let’s get some flowers for your pretty Mama”, “Mama made babies so she is the strongest person in the house”, or “Mama has school because she loves to learn”. I’ll hear my son repeat these things sometimes and, oh my sweet soul, I swoon.

    • Susan says...

      That is just the sweetest!

    • Jen says...

      This is so sweet! It made me tear up.

  100. Anna says...

    When a man is reversing out of a parking space, and puts his hand on the passenger seat headrest…

    • H says...

      Omg yessss

    • wow, you hit it on the nose!!!

    • Michelle says...

      OMG yes! I thought this was just me!

    • Katie says...

      Yesss!!!! Why is it so magical?!?!

    • Neela says...

      True story!

    • Emily L says...

      Haha, I HATE it when my husband does this! It feels like he’s shoving my head out of the way. Love that things which are annoyances to some are swoons to others!

  101. Bobbi says...

    Specifically: My husband came in to kiss me goodbye in the morning, as he normally does. He leaned down, kissed my forehead, and said, “Oh you look like sleeping beauty!” My husband is an accountant and not much of a sap, so this alone was adorable. But then he knelt down and smooched our sleeping dog (who I raised alone for the first 6 years of her life and he lovingly embraced despite being a bit OCD and dog-hair-phobic) and said, “and you look like sleeping cutie!” He got up and walked out and I swooned for an entire week.

    Generally: Men who have fancy watches. Wit, from anyone. And kiddie cocktails, in a very 5-year-old girl-swoon kind of way.

  102. Megan G says...

    Choirs and orchestras. They don’t even have to be in tune. But that musical camaraderie makes me teary.

    • Midge says...

      Oh, me too.

  103. Bonnie B says...

    My husband has naturally wavy hair and I adore the little ringlet that usually forms in the front over his forehead. I also swoon over how well he loves and cares for our fur babies and other animals by volunteering for a no kill shelter.

  104. Erin says...

    Kilts
    Brown hair and blue eyes
    Rolled up sleeves on button-up shirts

    Every time I’m cozy in bed then realize that I forgot something, and my husband offers to get up and do it for me

    A sense of humor. My now-husband-then-stranger won me over because, when reading the dorky jokes on popsicles with a group of mutual friends, and he was coming up with funnier punch lines.

  105. Sarah says...

    When my husband gets a fresh haircut:) And at night before I go to bed I will often check on my little boy sleeping and say to my husband; “you have to see him tonight, he’s just so cute.” My husband will go peek in on him and then say, “he really is.” The love we share for our son makes me swoon.

    • Cherie says...

      Fresh haircuts always

  106. Lindsay says...

    When my husband effortlessly, and without any stress at all, backs into a parking space.

  107. Sarah K says...

    I’ve just started seeing a guy and last night on our date I asked him to tell me about one of his best friends. The way his face lit up when I asked him and he subsequently told me three different anecdotes about his bestie was very swoon worthy, in my opinion. You could see the love in his eyes. It was very sweet.

    • Marlena says...

      One of my favorite things about my husband is the relationship he has with his brother, his dad, and my brother. They are so close and I have seen this look you speak of. Not a lot of attention is given to platonic male relationships that contain tenderness, but it is a very powerful thing to witness men love other men in this way.

    • El says...

      I love this question! What a thoughtful thing to ask someone you’re getting to know :)

  108. D says...

    A man who has a swagger to his dance.’

  109. Mary says...

    I swooned recently when I saw my husband with his new glasses on. He’s never worn glasses before. It was like i saw him through a lens myself and I got to fancy him for the first time again.

  110. Tabitha H says...

    Overhearing my husband give relationship advice to friends always makes me swoon. When we were dating in college he was the “boy whisperer” for all my girl friends – we’d all go grab dinner and they’d spill all their messy feelings and he’d give his best advice. (It was usually some variation of “talk to him/ put yourself out there” or “he sucks, dump him” haha.) He actually told one of my friends “I think you and Stephen would be good together,” before they were even close and now they’re married, and he’s still SO PROUD.

    Then once he was skyping with a friend who was having issues with his then-boyfriend and Teddy told him “You’re great, and you deserve WAY better than that.” And my heart MELTED!

    He’s not the most touchy-feely guy, but he’s a big softie and I love that!

  111. Em says...

    People who ask excellent questions in conversation and really make you feel heard and listened to. (I always strive to do this for others too because damn if it doesn’t feel great!)

    Men with big, strong looking hands.

    Beautiful prose. The kind of sentence where you read it once and then have to close your eyes for a moment to process what you just read.

    My husband putting his arms around me and kissing my head.

    • Emily says...

      Reading “A Gentleman in Moscow” made me feel like that. I just had to pause and soak it in.

  112. Megan says...

    When my husband holds my face as he kisses me. Every damn time.

    • Em says...

      This, forever.

    • Kim says...

      Yes.

  113. Faith says...

    Basically Kristian Matsson’s entire Instagram account. His stage name is The Tallest Man on Earth. He strums his guitar and sings poetry and glances into the camera whilst wearing a soft-looking T-shirt. I melt and swoon and die a little every time he posts.

    • hm says...

      Have you seen Tallest Man on Earth live? He is teeny-tiny, does not stop moving, and somehow transfixes the entire audience. Hundreds of people, male and female, all swooning in unison. The best!

    • Julia says...

      HM’s comment: “Swooning in unison” made me swoon. :)

    • Faith says...

      I actually have tickets to see him in San Francisco in two weeks! I’ve been looking forward to it for months and months. :D Hoping it won’t be canceled due to coronavirus fears.

  114. Michelle says...

    I was just thinking this morning – dads dropping kids at preschool!

    • Annie K. says...

      I love this, and as a mom (like you?) also dropping off kids at preschool…I wish moms were inherently as “swoon worthy” as dads are. Why do we think good dads are so hot vs good moms are the frumpy, naggy turtlenecks of society.

      Sexism and internalized sexism? Cup of Jo has helped me “see” so many hot and cool moms. I’m eager for everyone else to catch up. (And also working on not “needing” this from anyone, but rather just to feel the hotness and coolness myself. It’s so hard!)

    • k says...

      I saw one dad pick up his daughter from preschool with flowers hidden behind his back on Valentine’s Day (it was clear he took a half day of work to do this).

    • Ana says...

      @Annie K – thanks, for bringing this up. I felt the same.

    • Maggie says...

      Because of our schedules, my husband does most of the drop-off/pick-up for our son. Every time I get to do either, I am so impressed by how cool all the other moms are, so put-together and seemingly mastering this whole being-a-mom thing, every day. And I’m always struck by how completely enamored with them their children are. For most, it’s an everyday scene, but to me it’s definitely swoon-worthy.

  115. t says...

    My wife anytime she does something to help or offer to help someone when I would hesitate out of fear. For example seeing someone in a wheelchair in the grocery store and offering to assist them with their shopping. I would freeze up and wonder if I am going to offend them or make them feel less able by offering.

    Every time the person is very gracious and about half the time the accept her offer.

    • Sarz says...

      Yes! This! I felt something similar the other day – a “humanity swoon”, as we’re blood relations – when my sister came to the aid of quietly-struggling lady on a flight of stairs. In the time it took me to weigh the pros and cons of offering a hand, she already swooped in and guided the woman down the landing. Rather than being offended by the assumption of vulnerability, they were chatting like old friends by the bottom stair.

      Ah, helpers. ☺️

  116. Last night, I walked into my bedroom to find my 6’4″, muscular and usually formally-dressed fiancé tucked under a quilt laying on my bed, his head just barely peeking out from under the blanket. Something about seeing his formal self cuddled up made me swoon. Also, anytime we catch eyes across the room at a party.

    • Mary says...

      I love this … my husband is 6’5” and I get similar swoonies when I see him snuggled under the covers at night. Also, my name is Mary Grace, too :)

  117. Julia says...

    Reading all the comments is a little depressing being SO single. Lol at this point I’d take any of the above. Lolz! A guy that listens!? Weird!! I’ll take it! Beards used to gross me out but recently I dated a man with one and now I am into it. Also flannels – nice clean crisp flannel on a fall day, something so manly and hot about it. Oh!! Snd a Patagonia puffer on a cold winter day. I’m finally Seattle basic after 35 years of living here. Used to be a man in a suit with clean shave type gal- Finally gave in ;)

    • M says...

      Because men and husbands are the only people on the planet who do swoon worthy shit? I need a break from cup of jo…

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      No also women! Please reread the post! Xo

  118. Xan says...

    There’s an ice cream shop near where I work, and I love it when I see grown men, all by themselves, walking down the street with a grin on their face and a waffle cone. I don’t know why it’s just so cute to me that they spontaneously decided to treat themselves to an ice cream! And getting their favorite flavor a cone is extra endearing.

    • Faith says...

      I love this one!

    • Sarz says...

      Ah! That sounds charming indeed. ?

    • Calla says...

      Ahhh I’m melting just picturing this. Pun intended

    • Jade says...

      I love this one too! Is there any better simple pleasure than a waffle cone with vanilla ice cream?
      Also any man in a peacoat. Men with dogs. A man in a peacoat with a dog. Swoon.

    • Kim says...

      When my kids say something insightful or empathetic.

      Seeing my husband sit at the kid’s table or wow them with a dad joke.

      When someone has taken note or remembered something I’ve told them and brought it up again. It feels so good to be seen.

  119. Lynn says...

    I found myself swooning for men I didn’t know supporting Elizabeth Warren over all the other choices at the time.

    • Diana says...

      Preach

  120. AT says...

    I swoon when I see men with shopping lists at the grocery store. I find that combination of preparation and intention so sweet and SO attractive. Gets me every time haha.

    • Calla says...

      Ugh yes, very swoonable

    • k says...

      Do you wonder if they wrote it or doing it for someone else? Swoon for them using their own list.

    • AT says...

      I usually imagine they wrote the list themselves! And wonder what they plan on cooking and for who??? haha. But the thought of someone picking up a grocery list for another person is also sort of sweet to me :)

  121. Cynthia says...

    Long-time married to a (now, retired) scientist. He’s always brought physics and science to real life but last week he purchased a box of unsized eggs from a farmers market vendor. We enjoy large eggs soft-boiled for 6.5 minutes. To ensure a good result, he weighed the over and undersized specimens and compared the weight to a standard large egg. Then he did some kind of algebraic equation to determine the EXACT NUMBER OF SECONDS to cook each egg. I am a humanities person all the way so this type of thing is almost other-worldly to me and yet so adorable.

    • KC says...

      This is hilarious and fabulous!

      ….and also, as a semi-sciencey person: did it work? Since the egg is composed of three different components which will change in relative proportion depending on the size… and on a variety of other factors… and they’re each slightly-differently heat-conducting, I am very curious! (the differences *shouldn’t* matter enough to throw off the timing done by distance-to-center-of-egg, but science gets very excited about the things that *shouldn’t* be, theoretically, but *are*… and then very excited about figuring out what term is missing in our equations. :-) )

    • Tristen says...

      I swooned just reading this.

    • Jackie says...

      Oh my goodness, I could absolutely see my husband doing this! His attention to detail is beyond me but I love seeing him being fully himself.

    • Cynthia says...

      Yes, KC, the eggs were perfect!

    • Yulia says...

      I just swooned in response to KC’s curiosity here.

  122. Claire says...

    Generosity; unexpected acts of kindness or support; someone initiating physical touch or conversation.

    For example…

    A few years ago, on my birthday in mid-August, my old boyfriend told me he’d planned a surprise for us. September 10th, we’re going to a yellow submarine. I was so confused; he lived on a boat, and I thought it was something weirdly nautical? It turns out he’d found tickets for us to see a RAIN (the Beatles impersonation band) concert at the state fair. I’m a city kid, he was really introverted, so it was a bit out there for both of us. But he planned for us to have such a lovely date on a random Tuesday night at the state fair. I picked him up from work and the traffic was awful. I took a wrong turn and missed the entrance for the highway. He’d lived in Boston and coached me to be an aggressive driver, but the passive Seattleite in me couldn’t do it. So it took 2.5 hours to get there. When we arrived, it was pouring. I think he’d forgotten his raincoat. And yet we still had a lovely time. We walked hand in hand (he wasn’t terribly affectionate) and perused the fairgrounds. Someone randomly threw away their umbrella, so he bolted towards the bin, having noticed it was still perfectly usable. When the concert started, it was still pouring with rain at the outdoor grandstand, so we found our way to a covered section. Holding each other for warmth, singing Beatles lyrics surrounded by aging Beatles fans, I fell in love with him over how clearly he’d thought about what would make me happy and executed this plan so clearly out of our comfort zones.

    Did the rest of the relationship go well? Hahaha, no. Nor did the relationship with my next boyfriend, either. Instead of being angry (and believe me, there are days where I could yell at someone), I try to hold onto those moments in which I felt completely seen, loved, and cared for.

  123. E says...

    Whenever I see anyone walking on the street with a bouquet of flowers, I swoon thinking about how happy they are about to make whoever they are coming home to…

    • Caroline Donofrio says...

      This is such a good one! I swoon over this, too.

    • Claire says...

      Last mother’s day, I was with my ex-boyfriend at the Pike Place Market in Seattle (they have a lot of fresh flower stands). His parents had come to visit for the weekend, and I suggested he buy her flowers.

      He said he didn’t know much about ordering a bouquet, and asked if I’d coach him through it. He told me to model the process by requesting a bouquet for myself, “so I’ll know what to do when I buy you flowers someday.’ He coached me to request the colors and flower varieties I liked, as well as what information to give the florist (I like the flowers to still be closed, so they’ll bloom later and last longer). Then, he repeated the process with the colors and varieties he thought his mother would like, with fuller blooms as she’d want it to look nice the day he gave it to her. Suffice it to say, his mom and I were both really touched.

      A few months later, he showed up at my parent’s house for my birthday dinner with a bouquet of flowers from the market. I swooned that he’d made such an effort to remember what I liked. :)

    • Christine says...

      This is my ultimate swoon, as well!
      Knowing that someone is about to receive flowers is so exciting to me, even if I don’t know them.

    • same!! it makes my heart melt <3

    • Laura says...

      Yes! Every time. x

  124. Dawn Pearson says...

    I’m a sucker for a smokey, bluesy tenor singing anything.

    • Janet says...

      You’d love The Teskey Brothers. Swoon big time ?

  125. Lauren E. says...

    During the Women’s March in 2017, the women chanted, “My body, my choice” and then men replied, “Her body, her choice” and when I heard it, I immediately burst into tears. If it’s possible to swoon for an entire body of men, I did.

    • Olivia says...

      YES. SAME.

    • Sophie Tuleburg says...

      My 10 year old son did the same at the Women’s March: “Her body! Her choice!” My son! Our amazing children.

  126. Liz says...

    When my husband writes me a note of any kind. He didn’t learn to read or write until about age 12, so he’s pretty self conscious about his handwriting and it feels extra special when he takes the time to write for me.

    • hkm says...

      I love this.

  127. RK says...

    Active listeners. They make you feel like the most important thing in the moment, which is an amazing, underrated superpower.

  128. Erin says...

    Men pickling things.

    • Kay says...

      LOL. Love this.

    • Faith says...

      I feel that.

    • MacleanN says...

      BRAD LEONE!
      The ultimate swoon and pickler of things!

    • Abbe says...

      Macleann yes!! I have such a crush on Brad. So cute and goofy but so adept at pickling things, fixing things, building fires…total swoon.

      P.S. Thank you once again CoJ for the lighthearted content this week. I am a grad student and our university is currently planning on closing campus for the rest of the semester. I’m looking at not getting a graduation, not seeing the classmates I have come to love over the course of my program, and also graduating into a fairly dismal job market. Of course I am grateful that our institutions are taking these steps and I hope the least number of people are affected, but woof! It’s been a stressful day. I have found myself compulsively checking this website (in between studying for a midterm which I somehow STILL HAVE tomorrow) and it’s been like a little pressure valve.

  129. Elle says...

    these days it’s a man with a clean shave and a crisp white shirt. All around me: long / facial hair, puffer vests and old looking tshirts :( I remember kissing my dad goodbye before school, the smell of his aftershave and the silky touch of his suit <3

    • SSM says...

      Had to laugh at this one. I moved from 35 years of NYC to Portland, OR. Right there with you….

  130. Carrie says...

    Forehead kisses. Husband pulling me in for a hug. Him playing with my hair without me asking!

    • Quinn says...

      Haha – too funny! (And so true!)

  131. Meg P. says...

    Little rituals with my husband: for example, he brings me coffee in bed, every single day. I had fasting lab work one morning, and he still brought me a mug. “Don’t worry,” he whispered, “it’s just water.”

    • Brooke says...

      So so cute

    • Faith says...

      You’ve got a keeper! <3

  132. ASHLEY says...

    A bartender using a cocktail shaker with confidence. Any bar, any bartender, every time.

    • Calla says...

      Mmmm yes, especially if they have shirt sleeves rolled up. Just me?

  133. Rachel says...

    My husband doing mental math or parking really well. 8 years later and I think he is SO cool.

  134. M says...

    Women and their relationship to nature, Jane Goodall has always been the woman I most admire in life. Her life long dedication to the study of chimpanzees is astounding. I am almost finished with the novel “Where The Crawdads Sing”. Let me tell you I am truly swooning over Kya’s relationship to the marsh she lives in.

    • Megan says...

      Yes!! Have you heard of the Akashinga? Insanely brave women who are protecting wildlife from poachers in Africa. I hung a picture of them on my desk.

    • M says...

      Megan, thank you for this! I see I have more reading too do!

    • Katie says...

      Curious about your thoughts on the ending of that book!!

  135. Daniela says...

    When hubby pulls me closer in his sleep. Makes me swoon every time!

  136. Eleanor says...

    Men with shawl collar sweaters or playing stand up bass. I meaannnnn come on

    • Carlene says...

      Yes to both of those.

    • Colleen S says...

      I was watching the most recent episode of The Rookie and I wanted Nathan Fillion’s cardigan. I’m a sucker for a shawl collar sweater, and I keep saying I’ll buy a men’s one, but haven’t done it yet.

  137. Becca says...

    Listening is so swoon-worthy! I actually get ASMR tingles from people listening intently to me when I speak. Attention is such a beautiful gift, so I’m working at being a better listener by reading Kate Murphy’s book You’re Not Listening: What You’re Missing and Why It Matters. She’s a journalist who learned that people share more when you listen well, and she interviewed lots of people whose jobs require listening. Highly recommend it!

    • Faith says...

      That book sounds fantastic! I’m going to look for it at my library. Thank you!

  138. Julie says...

    Yessssss!

  139. Patricia says...

    Decency. You know, that thing we used to call “common,” but it no longer is.

  140. lily says...

    Last month, we were at an event at the kids’ school. I’m exhausted and looking a little haggard after being at work all day and the kids event. I see a handsome man riding a bike down the hill– its a crisp white work shirt with the sleeves rolled up to show forearms (forearms are my swoon forever and always) and dark slacks. I’m laughing that I’m checking out this hot man as the kids are jumping on me. I didn’t even have time to see his face… and then realized its my husband, and then blushed bright red (and brown people rarely this red!).

    • Claire says...

      OMG, I’m swooning for you! I love the visual of both you and your husband. Isn’t that lovely to feel so attracted to your partner in moments where you didn’t expect it?

    • Susie G says...

      Checking out a hot guy and it turns out to be your husband?! Amazing.

    • Mary says...

      Wow, this is cool! I love that.

    • Angela says...

      This!!!!!!!! makes me so happy.

    • Ari says...

      Forearms for me, too!!! (For some reason my phone keeps autocorrecting to “firearms” and I’m like NO NO NO)

    • jdp says...

      FOREARMS. totally. and such a bonus to have it be your own man!

  141. Lori says...

    I care about aging issues and people who are older, so my humanity swoon is seeing people offering their seats on the bus/train and showing overall kindness and respect.

    • Nadine says...

      I was visiting my mom at the nursing home during lunch when a lady came in to sit with her husband. She also had things she wanted to take care of while she was there & saw that his shirt was dirty. He doesn’t speak, but she was busy talking to him about all of this stuff…then he suddenly reached out & brought her towards him for a big kiss. It STILL makes me swoon thinking about it.

  142. Rae Jones says...

    watching my lover in the wild is top-shelf swoon. catching him roar with laughter across a bar, spotting him listen intently to a friend at a party, observing him play at the park with our toddler, cheering him on as he finished his first triathlon last year. it’s all. so. good.

    • Emiley says...

      This is so sweet, Rae! Amen!!

    • Greta says...

      I love it how you call him your lover. Not husband, partner or boyfriend but lover!

  143. charity says...

    Guys helping people they don’t know. I love the captain america type.

    • Amy says...

      Agree!

  144. Agnès says...

    A man who comes to the March for Women’s rights with me on sunday and tells me he came to listen. A man who fights next to us but doesn’t try to take the lead. Swoon. Oh wait! it’s my husband!

    • Claire says...

      YAY! Love that he went to listen :)

  145. Cooper says...

    I recently got all flushed in the check-out line of the grocery store when I spotted a man bagging his groceries using reusable cloth bags :)

    • Ramona says...

      ? ?

    • t says...

      OMG this is the absolute norm here. Plastic bags are banned and paper bags cost too much.

  146. Anon says...

    Seeing people in public reading one of my favorite books (think Little Women or Pride and Prejudice or adults reading Harry Potter). It makes me so happy to know they are enjoying, especially for the first time, a thing I love.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Yes! Love this one :)

    • Claire says...

      If you haven’t heard of Hot Dudes Reading on Instagram… you’re welcome.

    • Anon says...

      #nokindles

    • Christina M. says...

      YES!!!!

  147. Sarah says...

    I swoon over a man who can fix stuff or build things with his hands. I’m pretty independent and usually very “I can do it myself, thanks” but when a man can do something so easily that it would take me ages to do, I melt a little.

    • Rusty says...

      Meee toooo!

  148. Whitney Olson says...

    Oh my, my husband in his work shirt and slack, BUT his sleeves rolled up! He’ll be taking out the trash and it totally gets me. Or when we have 3 kiddos sitting between the two of us, the 4th kiddo in his lap and he and I gaze at one another over their heads and totally love one another from afar. Also, really yummy food.

  149. Colleen S says...

    Men speaking French.

    • Erin says...

      Men with British or Australian accents, too.