Sponsored

One Way to Have Better Orgasms

foria awaken arousal oil

Are you feeling stressed? (Is the sky blue?) There’s one way to help relieve stress, improve your sleep, and more: having orgasms. We spoke to Kiana, somatic sex expert, full-spectrum doula and Chief Brand Educator at Foria, about the tools you can use to get there…

First off, sex and masturbation can be a great form of self-care, don’t you think? Sometimes you’re exhausted and feel like flopping on the sofa and watching House Hunter reruns. But when you take the time to take care of yourself in this way, it always feels so good and soothing and worth it.

And apart from sex and orgasms feeling good, it turns out there are real wellness benefits, as well. Here are four big ones:

1. Orgasms help relieve stress.
In Naomi Wolf’s book Vagina, she researched the connection between the neural wiring in the brain and the pelvis, and how they communicate with one another — quite a lot, it turns out. “When you have an orgasm, it reduces the amount of cortisol (the stress hormone) in your body, and causes a surge in positive neurochemicals, including dopamine (which contributes to feelings of pleasure and satisfaction). This chemical cocktail has a few different effects, including increased creativity and feeling powerful.”

2. Orgasms help you get better sleep.
For many of us, worries about work or family or life overall can get in the way of our resting hours. “Sex — and orgasms in particular — help improve sleep quality by reducing cortisol in the body,” Kiana explains. “Reducing cortisol relaxes your whole nervous system, which will help you fall into a deeper sleep cycle.”

3. Orgasms bring you back into your body.
You know that feeling when your thoughts are running rampant? Orgasms — whether alone or with a partner — help bring you out of your head and back into your body. “They take you out of that hamster wheel thought cycle,” says Kiana. Sex also helps to relax your whole body. “Stress isn’t just in your mind,” Kiana says. “You hold stress in your shoulders, your jaw, your butt cheeks!” That’s where Foria’s Awaken arousal oil comes in. It’s an intimate arousal oil that you massage in and allow to absorb for 10 to 15 minutes.

4. Pleasure begets pleasure.
Making a mindful effort to incorporate more pleasure into our lives can also help re-wire how you approach other things that are meaningful to you. “When you start to clue into what feels pleasurable, it helps your body map out sources outside of sex that are also pleasurable, whether it’s the way something tastes or the feel of the ocean against your skin. The more you engage with things that are nourishing and replenishing, the more it will help you balance out the stressors in your life.”

Foria awaken arousal oil

So, sex — whether solo or with a partner — can help us feel better. But sometimes when you’re stressed, the switch gets flipped off, and sex is the last thing you’re in the mood for. And with busy lives, we’re not always able to prioritize it. If you need help relaxing physically, Foria’s Awaken arousal oil helps decrease muscular tension, increases blood flow, and supports your capacity for arousal.

“As a sex educator, I always say how important it is to have a tool kit that supports the process of arousal,” Kiana says. “Awaken arousal oil, which has CBD and plant-based aphrodisiacs, is an amazing tool for partnered or solo sex, because it supports arousal on a physiological level. It brings blood flow to the genitals, so you’ll notice a difference in both lubrication and the quality of your arousal.”

The team at Foria receives glowing testimonials daily, and our friends raved about it, too. I’ve tried Awaken arousal oil at home and find that it makes a huge difference in helping me feel more relaxed and heightening sensations. It feels completely natural — there’s no icy/hot sensation or anything. It just supports and enhances your body’s natural ability to feel pleasure. I love that it takes what’s already there and makes it easier to access.

Thoughts? Would you try Awaken arousal oil? Have you already? How else do you work sexual pleasure into your life?

BONUS for all readers: Foria is offering 20% off all products using code CupofJo20. Thank you so much!

P.S. Scheduling sex, and what if you’ve never had an orgasm?

(Photos courtesy of Foria. This post is sponsored by Foria, a brand whose mission and products we love. Thanks for supporting the brands that help keep Cup of Jo running.)

  1. Mira says...

    Disappointing. I bought this after the first CoJ post and received a half empty bottle in the mail that had leaked through the packaging. Contacted their customer support, crickets, even after follow-up emails. Contacted their Instagram and was given the run-around and sent back to email. Terrible customer support. My issue was never resolved, no effort was made to explain. I think what’s most telling about this company is that there are absolutely no reviews or ability to review on their actual site.

  2. Katharina says...

    I was intrigued by the last sponsored post and went along and ordered it and … I was sadly disappointed. Sure, it works as a lubricant but it didn’t really deliver on any of its promises. Get yourself some organic coconut oil as a lubricant and save the extra $$$.

  3. Catriona says...

    Love love love CoJ normally but don’t really like this post. The brand smacks of snake oil with all the pseudomedicalised language and roles (“somatic sex expert” “full spectrum doula” – puh-lease!). If you want to put cannabis oil down there because it’s fun, absolutely go for it but let’s not dress it up in the language of evidence based medicine. Post just doesn’t feel super genuine to me. Sorry Jo, I don’t like posting negative comments normally as I really really do love and support your blog and your right to advertise to make a living from the great work you do and employ others, but as a medical practitioner these slightly woo ventures bug me!

  4. Claire says...

    On a related topic- I wanted to pass this along in case it resonates for someone else: I just started listening to the podcast called “Bodies”, created by Allison Behringer, and I really like it. Its mission is to share the kinds of stories about bodies that people often don’t talk about. I’ve listened to episode 1, about the host’s own journey to diagnose and resolve the pain she was experiencing during sex. I was super impressed by the story and the information, and how the whole episode was structured. It gave me a lot to think about, and is inspiring me to follow up on some things for myself.

    • Lauren says...

      Thanks for sharing this, Claire!!! That first episode brought me to tears – hot, ANGRY tears. For over a year now I have been feeling so indignant trying to find answers to questions no one seems to care enough about to find answers. My doctors just shrug their shoulders, reassure me that I’m pretty and still kind of young then send me home with some lube so that I can just barely bear to have sex. The audacity! The poor nurse at my appointment tomorrow is going to get an earful.

  5. Mae says...

    Can CupofJo please do a post on “female friendly porn” and inclusive porn recommendations?! With all of this masturbation talk — can we please also talk about the ways in which people seek out getting off solo? I feel like there is this impression that women don’t watch porn because it’s a dominant male industry, but there are increasing filters on sites “female friendly” etc. or female directors or owners of sites that can offer an alternative and positive version of porn. I think it is so empowering for women to talk about porn more than ever!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      yes!!! we actually have one in the works. please stay tuned :)

  6. Nectar says...

    Not sure if this is an “issue” but does anyone NEED to masturbate daily?

    I schedule a long masturbation session on Saturday or Sunday afternoons after I clean up the house and do errands.

    Has anyone tried the Satisfyer Pro 2? It has suction capabilities as well as vibration. This is what I use when I just need a quick session before bed during the week.

    https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B071CPR2V4/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

    • Abbey says...

      I’m going to try that Satisfyer Pro. Sounds kind of amazing. Thanks for sharing!
      I don’t NEED to masturbate daily, but I do pretty frequently. I think that’s only an “issue” if it’s a compulsion, but if you take joy in it then it’s all good. To me it’s a pleasure like taking a nap in the afternoon, or dancing around to a fun song :)

  7. Maria says...

    I went on antidepressants six months ago and they literally saved my life. The only problem is that I have been unable to climax since starting on the meds. Before I had no interest in sex because of my depression, now I would love to re-open that part of my life but I don’t know how. If anyone else has had a similar experience and has any suggestions, I would be happy to hear.

    • Silver says...

      Hi Maria, I am not a doctor so obviously you would need to have a chat with a doctor about what I am going to share with you. Recently I also started on antidepressants and I went with a new one on the market called Valdoxan, it doesn’t make you gain weight, nor does it effect your libido (two reasons to clap I say). Tests indicate it is as successful as other forms of medication for treating depression. I found that it took a good 4-5 weeks to feel like it was kicking in, then I played around a bit with one or two tablets – I decided that one tablet worked for me – I still feel sad but it is important to me to ‘feel’, but it allows me enough distance not to sit too deeply in it. Do you understand what I am trying to say? But I also know that if I get too dark, I can double the dose and block the world out until I rest up and gather my momentum again. It’s more expensive but … sometimes we need some help right? I hope you find something to help, because depression sucks, but also, we can’t get better if we can’t find those joyous sparks either. Wishing you the very best outcomes. My understanding is that medication that effects your libido, really does stop you from reaching a climax no matter what you try…

  8. Dawn says...

    Hey B… No foolery on my part since mine was the third comment posted. I can’t speak for others but I can say that sometimes I read comments before making mine and if words people used resonate for me, I might “borrow” them for my own comment mostly out of laziness of trying to come up with another word for the same sentiment. Personally, I completely trust the CoJ fellowship of women! And, from someone who has NEVER had trouble achieving deep and intense orgasms on her own, Awaken makes them so much more powerful that it IS a game changer for me!

  9. Stasha Ashton says...

    I bought the Foria product after the last post recommending it and sadly it didn’t do anything for me.

  10. Shauna says...

    Ugh, hate that this has mint in it- I have a horrible burning reaction- kinda the opposite effect- ha!

  11. Jackie says...

    Super not happy with the chiming in from Kiana and Laura (not disclosed as a Foria employee but clearly pushing the product) to our comments. Also, it seems like some of the comments aren’t genuine because they are using the same words. I understand the need for sponsored posts, but this company just doesn’t get it right or they need a coaching session from Jo.

    • ASC says...

      Agree with this. This one doesn’t feel like it fits in the COJ ethos at all. COJ is one of the only blogs whose sponsored posts usually don’t bother me because they “fit” with everything and it’s all done so tactfully. This here with the company’s employees chiming in and whatever is going on with the potentially fake comments feels antithetical to all of that.

    • April says...

      I second this.

    • Nina says...

      Totally second this, why bother reading the comments then if the sponsor is all over, ie. on such sensitive and personal topic..

  12. Holly says...

    I clicked on the link to find out more info, now I am noticing ads for it on my Facebook and instagram, not ok with me.

    • Laura says...

      That’s called retargeting and it’s a common practice on most ecommerce sites and is legal. But clearing your cookies can help! It is annoying. :)

  13. S says...

    I don’t know whether there is something scientific behind this, or if it’s only me, but as someone who suffers from restless leg syndrome, I immediately fall asleep and stay asleep after having an orgasm. No fancy gadgets, no oils, not even a partner required. I guess you can call it the poor woman’s cure, but it really works. ;-)

  14. Rose says...

    I really do not get good vibes from this brand. First off I’m sceptical of all products that are geared towards sex, everything has been commercialised these days… While I do get that some women are having (a lot) of difficulty when it comes to sex, I think the societal and mental structures that underly our cultural narrative about sex is more to blame than some missing product. Then their whole invasive following up on people who started looking at their products and filling out their order details that played out in the comments section last time.. Yikes. Big nope from me.

    • Jessica says...

      It sounds to me like you would really enjoy the book “Come as you are” by Emily Nagoski. She delves into how cultural cues have made orgasm difficult for many women. She’s a sex educator and references a lot of interesting studies on sexuality.

  15. agnes says...

    “the hamster wheel thought cycle”; so true! I’m about to move from a countryside paradise to a capital city and I can’t stop the wheel of worries! Sex is last on my list. I should probably change my priorities and would sleep much better. I don’t think you’ve ever wrote about moving to a new place? Maybe you could? I’m so worried my 6 year old will hate the change :(

    • Sarah says...

      Hi Agnes! This isn’t related to the post, but more to your comment. I’ve moved SO MUCH in my life, both as an adult and as a child. One thing that has really helped me is to commit to not making judgments on the new place for at least 6 months, and then agree to check in with myself again in a year. For those first six months, I really commit to embracing the new things as much as I can, without judgement. This mindset also helps me to take some of the pressure off, and to realize that change is hard, especially changing where one lives, and if I don’t love it immediately, that isn’t necessarily a sign of doom. Same goes for your 6 year old. They might hate it at first! But that feeling likely isn’t permanent. Anyway, I just wanted to wish you luck on your big change.

    • juni says...

      The more you engage with things that are nourishing and replenishing, the more it will help you balance out the stressors in your life.”

      This is a key frame of mind I’ve recently awakened to so thank you for spelling it out so clearly here.
      Also regarding the impact of a move on children, I will say a word about what I wished my parents had done differently. We moved every three years while I was growing up. As an adult considering their innocent ignorance about the effect of the move on me as a child, I wished my parents had made an effort to include me in the excitement and give a little extra love and attention by focusing on my needs just a little. Instead I just felt like another logistic to contend with. Even just a few extra hugs and reassurance would have gone a long way. For a child of six I recommend that.

    • agnes says...

      Sarah, Juni, thank you so much; I’ll give more hugs and be extracareful and patient. The move is for december, and in the meantime, we will engage to all those nourishing things in our actual home, that will hopefully take us to the next one. Thanks.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      agnes, i completely understand your wheel of worries! moves always come with a lot of emotions, especially if you love where you currently live. personally, in case it’s helpful, i’ve found the build-up and anticipation to be the hardest part. we wrote about moving with kids here:
      https://cupofjo.com/2014/08/tips-for-moving-with-kids/

      and i agree with sarah that sometimes it takes a little time to settle in — find your new favorite cafe, find a few likeminded friends, etc. so try to allow your family (and yourself) that time to warm up to the new place.

      sending you so much love!
      joannaxoxo

    • agnes says...

      Thank you so much Jo, I will definitely check your post. I’m feeling less anxious tonight, thank to you guys, I feel I have a plan now. I have to trust my son that he has the tools to go through this.
      And now, I can probably move sex back to the top of my list ;-)

  16. Jill Danford says...

    I am a urogynecologist and treat many women with hypoactive arousal disorder as well as dyspareunia. I work in an academic hospital and was wondering if you would be willing to talk with us about a placebo controlled study to look at the results of your product? Reading the comments it sounds like many of my patients would benefit, but to have good data behind it would allow other physicians to buy in to the recommendations.

    • Jessica says...

      As a fellow scientist, a big heartfelt YES to this! I was thinking as I was reading the comments how much the placebo effect might be a factor here, especially given what a big role the brain plays in sexuality and arousal. If would be so interesting to see what a properly designed blinded study would show.

    • Kiana, Chief Brand Educator at Foria says...

      Hi Jill,

      We absolutely would love to connect with you on this. Please feel free to email me directly kiana@foriawellness.com. We are about to do our first study looking at the genital application of cannabis for menstrual cramps with our cbd suppositories.

  17. Anna says...

    1000% in love with this stuff! Got it when it was first profiled on COJ and subsequently semi-aggressively pushed my closest friends to try it (5 out of 6 LOVED IT. The other just didn’t feel any difference.)

    I also got the Foria Arose with THC (legal here in Cali) but have to say I prefer Awaken! Arose made my vag feel sleepy, lol.

    Anyway…really happy someone thought to found this company and bring it to market. :) It feels so good to see products prioritizing female pleasure out there!

    • Anna says...

      Ok one more thing on the topic of female pleasure…I recently subscribed to omgyes.com and it is also really great! There are videos of real women and clear tutorials and descriptions of what works for different women. It might be a little out there for some but it definitely upped my self pleasure game and gave me the language to communicate to my husband the techniques that work for me.

    • rose says...

      wow this looks like a great site – thank you!

  18. H says...

    I’m a opera singer and people are always like, “Oh, what’s your pre-show ritual?” Whatever anyone says, (like “Yoga, a banana, going for a jog…” I always add silently “take a good poo and masturbate” because come ON, that is the 1-2 punch of the pre-show ritual for us all. I would bet a million dollars!!! But no one will ever put THAT in their Instagram takeover ;)

    • agnes says...

      Ha ha ha! love that!

    • Jessica says...

      Hahahahaha (dying laughing). Thank you for this.

  19. J says...

    Is this product safe to use while breastfeeding? Thanks!

  20. Beth says...

    Hey Jo, I wonder if you would ever consider doing an advice post for women who can’t achieve orgasm? Things they could try, things that might be inhibiting them, etc. I’ve scoured the Internet for ideas but I’m starting to feel pretty hopeless. Sometimes I wonder if there’s someone I could see about it…. but I truly wouldn’t know where to begin. Yes, this is a self-serving request :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Yes absolutely. I think that’s a very common question! Xoxo

    • Lou says...

      Hey, there’s a great podcast called How Cum that’s all about this if podcasts are your thing :-)

    • Sarah says...

      Try a Hitachi magic wand! Worked for me – only wish I’d found it sooner

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      yes, i’ve heard the best things about the Hitachi magic wand for people who have struggled to have orgasms. thank you, sarah!

    • Amy says...

      I’m there with you, Beth. I used to be able to have solo orgasms in my teens and early 20s, and then it was like my body lost the ability (I’ve had a great partner for 12 years now and I really don’t think it’s a lack of skill, openness, or communication for us).

  21. Kelly says...

    My husband got me this for my birthday last week after I mentioned seeing it on here and WOW! I feel like a PSA needs to be sent out to all women abou this. It’s that good. Total. Game. Changer.

  22. Ash says...

    Be careful with this stuff! I tried it out, followed the directions, used the minimum recommended amount… and ended up with horrible burning that spread to my husband as well. Use at your own risk!!

    • Hey Ash! Sorry to hear about your experience. For people with sensitive skin, or tendency towards irritation we always recommend testing our products on a less sensitive area first. We vary rarely hear this feedback and if we do it is usually from a cinnamon sensitivity. In the last 2 years Awaken has been available, we never heard of it affecting anyone’s male partner before – and will take note of your feedback.

    • Ruth says...

      I haven’t had burning but my male partner did (the mint, I suspect).

    • g.s. says...

      same. hated the stuff, and I don’t ever have skin sensitivity issues.

  23. Kelia says...

    I’ve been so curious about CBD products and women’s sexual health. I think this is a sign so I bought a bottle! 🤞

  24. Drea says...

    I got this product after the last time you mentioned it on CoJ and it changed my life! First time I had sex without pain. Thank. You.

    • Love, love, love hearing how it helped you to enjoy yourself without pain. Thank you, Drea!

    • Anon says...

      I’ve been experiencing pain with sex for almost 2 years (up until a few months ago) and am curious about this product! I recently went through a couple months of pelvic floor physical therapy and it has literally changed my life. I wanted to recommend it to you in case it might help :)

  25. Faith says...

    I ordered Awaken last time it was promoted on Cup of Jo, and it lives up to the hype! I can’t wait to try the THC version next (I live in California).

  26. Dawn says...

    My husband is a prostate cancer survivor (so thankful) who has an unfortunate attitude about one of the most unfortunate side effects of his cancer – total loss of desire which translates to he’s totally uninterested in sex or helping me have sex. Super sad for me as this is an important aspect of a healthy life for me. So, all that said, I purchased “Awaken” after CoJ’s last post on it to spice things up for myself. I’ve always had an easy time having intense orgasms, both singly and with a partner, but “Awaken” is a game changer. WOW! Highly recommend for use by yourself, or for you lucky ones, with your partner!

    • B says...

      “WOW…game changer!”
      This comment exactly echos another endorsement here in the comment section. Seeing how much faith the CoJ community puts in the comment section, I’d hate to see some type of foolery going on here…

  27. Steph G says...

    Cup of Jo got me thinking a lot more about “sexy time” (what my hubby and I call sexual encounters haha) these days!

  28. Mel says...

    YAY! thank you for having this conversation CoJ! You guys are the best. This was a good reminder that I should just have some ‘grown up’ time (as we call it) with my husband tonight to alleviate the stress i’m in (we’re one week out from moving and i’ve had 3 contractors here today and there is $hit everywhere). A few O’s sound like just the right medicine.

  29. Lucy A says...

    Tried the oil last time you guys recommended it (bought 2 bottles in fact to get free shipping). Smells good, but didn’t do a thing. So bummed because it’s not cheap

    • Angelina says...

      Same : (

    • Hey Lucy,

      Thanks for your feedback! Have you tried experimenting with the amount you use and how long you allow it to absorb? We find that some people have different results once they work with the amount and really allowing for longer periods of time for it to soak in. As always not all products work for all people, but hopefully some of these tips help!

    • Lulu says...

      Same here. It actually seemed to make climaxing more difficult. I think sexual pleasure is multifactorial, and this product might help a subset of women, but not everyone. I used the whole bottle over the last 2 months, and honestly it is not my juju. I think my problem more in my head…and this product seemed to have only local effects.