Design

Have a Lovely Weekend.

San Francisco dog

What are you up to this weekend? We are having friends over tonight for a taco bar. Alex is making most of it, while I’m in charge of the guacamole. (Any hot tips? My friend Kenan uses pomegranate seeds.) Hope you have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…

Oh my gosh, this guy looks just like Tom Cruise.

Fleabag is on Saturday Night Live this weekend!

Cinnamon apple bread pudding.

An interesting Twitter thread: “What do people do for stress relief that is not drinking or smoking that is relatively inexpensive and not running?

Pretty fall staples (on sale!).

The surprising physical demands of chess. “Robert Sapolsky, who studies stress in primates at Stanford University, says a chess player can burn up to 6,000 calories a day while playing in a tournament, three times what an average person consumes in a day. Based on breathing rates (which triple during competition), blood pressure (which elevates) and muscle contractions before, during and after major tournaments, Sapolsky suggests that grandmasters’ stress responses to chess are on par with what elite athletes experience.”

Decorating your sneakers with Tattly temporary tattoos.

Love these heart-shaped breads.

Poll: You can insert the word “f*cking” into the William Carlos Williams poem “This is Just to Say” exactly once. Where would you put it?

What lovely everyday earrings.

I had the house to myself,” a mother of two writes. “I had an epiphany. For me, to truly restore, I need to stay home by myself instead leave my home.”

Would you frame photos that kids took themselves?

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Tali on what are your kid’s personalities: “My two kids (4 and 2) are so different from each other, but what actually shocks me is how different they are from ME. Like, every time my four-year-old daughter asks a complete stranger if she can pet their dog, I absolutely cringe (my current and kid self would never dare! #socialanxiety), like who are these little strangers that somehow came from my body!? We shall see!”

Says Jenn on top 5 favorite podcasts: “Oh my goodness, the Bill Hader episode of Conan O’Brien Needs A Friend is not to be missed! I listened to it while I was running on a treadmill at the gym and was laughing so hard that I nearly fell off. Listen and enjoy… preferably while sitting down, for safety’s sake.”

Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like. Thank you so much.

(Photo by Sidney Morgan/Stocksy. Tom Cruise via Hither & Thither. Twitter thread via Swissmiss. William Carlos Williams via Kottke.)

  1. Amy says...

    HOME ALONE TIME! This is so true for me as well. My partner is also a homebody and while this in some ways makes us very compatible, it also makes things challenging because he never seems to want to leave or go out without me! We’re about to move to our first house from our tiny apartment and I’m hopeful the extra rooms, nooks, and crannies will let us spread out and relax into the same “home alone” feeling even if we’re both there. If not, I may need to show him this article and have him go out and leave me alone from time to time!

    • Sarah says...

      Me and my partner are the same, and a year ago we did the same, and it’s made a world of difference, especially for him (he’s more introverted than I). Even in only 1200 sq ft, somehow, we now are able to hide away from each other sometimes and it’s been lovely. Good luck!

  2. Eli says...

    The ‘insert f*cking into the William Carlos Williams poem’ has me doing the silent cry laugh so hard at my cubicle. I let out a snort and then couldn’t stop. 3 cube mates have turned to stare. I don’t know what is so funny or why; maybe because it is so juvenile. Mercy, I needed this aching laugh today.

    Cheers for the great link!

  3. Bindi says...

    “I had the house to myself”. Reverend Lydia!! Soooo excited to see her featured here! I randomly found her through some other web surfing a few months ago, and she is a gem. Most of the people I have found that talk about the topics she covers are older white men. She is NOT! She is a young, Korean-American, with an immigrant story similar to mine! Her recent interview on Rob Bell’s podcast is EVERYTHING! Everyone go listen and go find her!

  4. ac says...

    Reading things like that “I had the house to myself” essay just really cement my choice not to have kids. I truly don’t mean this as a judgement call on anyone else (to each their own) but I’ve yet to hear any perk of having kids that could justify a simple, quiet night at home becoming a rare & monumental occasion for me!

    • Molly says...

      … unconditional love?

  5. celeste says...

    Off topic, but someone on here recommended “Workin Moms” and this is literally the best show I’ve seen in years. Yes nudity + sex is a little crazy but I’ve never felt more seen. The 2005 wedding episode could’ve been me. Especially moody little Alice, Anne’s daughter! Good stuff.

  6. Ellie says...

    Time alone for me to do what I wish, when I wish, is what I crave. I cannot overstate how luxurious an empty house feels on the super-rare occasions it happens. I did not know this about myself before I had kids.

  7. Susan says...

    My secret for guacamole is to drizzle Mike’s Hot Honey on top. I use it on my avocado toast and on pizza too. So good!

  8. renitenrion says...

    F*cking funny!

  9. lynda says...

    “This Is Just To Say”…….my favorite poem of all time. The word F&*K could fit in all those spots! Love that exercise!

  10. Diana L. Tisdale says...

    We had friends over for tacos this weekend too! We always have sauted onions, mushrooms and zucchini; oven-roasted potatoes with chili powder; lots of Trader Joe’s salsa to choose from; and of course homemade guac!

    • rach says...

      wow yum!

  11. Sarah says...

    Oh my gosh the votes for “other” for the William Carlos Williams’ poem!!

    “That were f****** in the icebox.”

    hahahahahahahah

  12. Katie says...

    I just need to know…how do you guys watch Fleabag and love it so much?? It STRESSES ME THE HECK OUT!

    • Misty says...

      You know, I tried to watch it about a year ago and felt the same way (I never got past episode 1.) But then after all the awards I decided to give it another go and I just finished season 2! I loved every minute of it this time around. I think I just wasn’t in the right place for that much of a mess at that time in my life, but this go around I related to so much more of it than I expected to.

  13. Alli says...

    The “I had the house to myself” post is exactly why I’ve chosen to not have kids. The thought of alone-time being a rarity instead of the norm is not something that I’m willing to take on.

    • Anonygirl says...

      Yes! I am dying to live by myself for that very reason (for financial reasons, my parents, brother, and I all share a three bedroom apartment), but I want to eat what I want when I want, take a bath without being told I’m icky, not be blamed for everything that goes, etc. etc. I love to love my friends’ kids, but then they all go home.

    • Amy Lasson says...

      I LOVE having the house to myself, or just some time to myself is essential to my sanity. I also realized when my family left me home for a (glorious and amazing week) is that, although I deeply value and use my time alone to eat what and when I like, tackle projects and hobbies, not worry about others, watch an embarrassing amount of TV, go to Yoga whenever, is that it gets pretty boring. I like a bit of boring every now and again (okay a few times a week!)… but having a full house with activities means I am always learning or reading something new, household responsibilities are shared, we play loads of games, eat proper beautiful meals with fun people, and I fit in in hobbies and yoga anyway… I become brilliantly efficient.

  14. Yella says...

    Gently fry a bunch of pepitas in olive oil in a pan until they toast and puff up, salt, and throw over your (chunky) guacamole. Best.

    • Bonnie says...

      oohhhh that sounds like a game-changer, Yella. I think I make a pretty mean guac, but this sounds like it’d take it up another level. Thank you! Of course, I must try for experimental reasons only tonight. :)

  15. KB says...

    When it comes to guac, keep it chunky! Chop it all up, give it a good stir, and skip the mashing. Saves a step, and somehow tastes even better.

  16. Seraphim says...

    About the article ‘I had the house to myself’…. YAAAASSSSS! Every year my husband takes our two kids to visit relatives over Labor Day weekend and I stay at home, alone. I tear the house up and do major organization projects, I’m on my own schedule, don’t cook unless I want to, wake up when it suits me, listen to horrible music loudly. It’s so blissful and I’m so productive. It truly is restorative and really is a vacation for… me.

  17. Laura C. says...

    Nooooo, I love the poem “This is just to say”! I’m not going to do the poll!
    And who is the Tom Cruise look-a-like?
    Have a nice taco weekend!

  18. Isabelle says...

    The William Carlos Williams poll is such a highlight. Thank you for that one :)

  19. Denise says...

    I completely understand wanting the house to yourself. That was me for 20+ years. I think it only happened a handful of times. My husband died eight years ago and my kids are all out on their own, and I have it all to myself. While I’m good a being alone, and need it quite frankly, I truly miss those days. Hang in there and appreciate the madness.

    • Neela says...

      Thank you <3

    • Ellie says...

      I just posted a comment about how I literally crave alone time at home. And then I saw this and know that I would never have my lot any other way. It is mad. I do love it (but I wish kids had volume control too!)

  20. Caroline says...

    At Frontera they will give you guacamole w sundried tomatoes in it. Sounds weird but I loved it!

  21. Christie says...

    Having the place to yourself is the best. Ever since my daughter was born, I’ve been sending her out of the house with her Dad every weekend under the pretence of ‘your chores include grocery shopping with Dad’.

    Now she’s older, I can confess that I just really need some alone time in the house once in a while to recharge. As a fellow introvert, she gets it.

    My dream is that one weekend the two of them will go away together and I’ll have two full days to eat whatever I want, keep the house clean, and read in bed for hours uninterrupted. For now I’ll take my weekly short break!

  22. Angel says...

    Our bare bones guacamole recipe is avocado, salt, lime juice, and cilantro. It is perfect as is, but we can add in onion, tomato, pineapple, corn, mango, pomegranate seeds, whatever we think of! (We tried blueberries once – it wasn’t good.)

  23. Haley says...

    Hi! I like coming to the site and reading your recommendations! I was wondering if you have other ways of funding it though, without encouraging buying fast fashion and consumerism in general with the links to products. Your content is otherwise really insightful and real. It could be a big contribution to fighting the climate crisis if sites like yours could take a stance against needless “stuff”! Thanks for all the great articles and links!

    • AN says...

      Here for this! What about a subscription model? I would legit pay like $10/month at least!

    • Em says...

      Yes!! I really support this idea. I love the ethos and the evolution of CofJ, and feel strongly that consumerism is not where this story will end :)

    • Olivia says...

      I wonder the same. Love love love cup of jo, but I sometimes wonder how jo feel about all this…stuff that must be around her, her office, and her family all of the time as part of her job. Not to be sanctimonious but after needing to save $ during an underfunded maternity leave I am happier just buying/having less and am trying to really cultivate that.

      A small example is I just borrowed a friends black dress for a funeral instead of going out and buying a black cardigan I’d hate and never wore again. It felt really good to have friends rally around me with suggestions and in kind I get to give it back to her dry cleaned with a little thank you candy.

    • Christina says...

      Hi Haley, I respectfully disagree! I feel like Cup of Jo does a really great job of balancing great content with a few sponsored posts/links. In the above, there are only 2 links to “buy” things, and everything else reflects non-consumerist joys. Cup of Jo features brands that are ethical, fair trade, eco-friendly. Many of the beauty features over the past couple years have been very minimalist – more talking about a person’s philosophy on life than about the products they buy. I’m an avid reader of Cup of Jo, and would be happy to pay to be here, but I also really enjoy their product recommendations, because I know they’ve done their research, they approach advertising very sensibly, and their values are similar to my own. I really appreciate your perspective, but I also wanted to share my own thoughts. xox!

  24. Katie says...

    I make a this “guac” and every time people text me later to ask what it was…and it’s laughable easy.
    Perfectly ripe avacados
    Good olive oil ( a dash)
    Tony Chachere’s Creole Seasoning (few dashes)
    It’s perfect!

  25. Kim says...

    My husband and 11-year-old daughter took a trip to Colorado earlier this year and left me home alone for the first time ever. It was the most magnificent 3 days in recent memory. I basked in it for days, even after they returned, telling everyone I came into contact with just how wonderful it was to sleep and wake up when I wanted, eat what I wanted, watch what I wanted, do what I wanted, without any compromise. I didn’t even mind my commute and going to work on one of those days (which never happens), knowing I could come home later that evening and eat cereal for dinner if I so desired. Which I did. While watching the trashiest TV. Heaven.

  26. Emily says...

    Yes x1000 to having the house to yourself! I lived alone for several years before I met my husband, so that solo time in my own home is essential to my well-being. My kid goes to daycare during the week, so I often take a vacation day (or week!) and send her to school like normal. It feels incredibly luxurious. My husband takes her out to do fun trips or projects on weekends sometimes too.

  27. Monica says...

    The f*cking poem thing was awesome.. (I picked “delicious“, haha). We should do this for many, many classic poems.

    “I never saw a Purple Cow,
    I never hope to see one;
    But I can f*cking tell you, anyhow,
    I’d rather see than be one.

    • Erin says...

      In “This is Just to Say”, the best place in the poem to add an f-bomb is right before the last word because it changes the meaning and makes the plums sound a bit evil. “So sweet/ and SO F***ING COLD.”

      Hee hee.

  28. Allie says...

    Most important ingredient for guac is definitely sourdough toast. I call that a BLD meal (breakfast-, lunch-, or dinner-appropriate food).

    Actually, I’ve never called anything a BLD meal, but I just thought of it and I’m going with it because we need to talk about BLD meals more and vocabulary is an essential element of any important conversation.

  29. S K says...

    Achk, call me old-fashioned, but guacamole is Mexican goodness and doesn’t need to be messed with. Good avocados, jalapeño, garlic, onion, tomato, lime, cilantro, and salt and you should be golden.
    Start with 2 avocados, 1/2 a jalapeño, 1 clove of garlic, quarter onion, small tomato, and a half of a lime and some salt and just keep tasting and adjusting!

    • MelTown says...

      Yes! Thank you! As a native Texan these crazy guacamole recipes are almost painful to read.

  30. Charlotte K says...

    There’s a comment on the “Tom Cruise” video that says he looks like Cruise and Christian Bale had a baby. I think it’s true!

  31. Rhianna says...

    I love the idea of framing kids photos. My favorite Christmas gift I’ve received so far is a coffee table book my husband made of all the random pictures our then 2 year old took on our iPhones, titled I want to do it by Myself: An Early Anthology of the works of L.R. Wells. He wrote hilarious titles and captions. She too had a very large collection of feet pictures, he only included 4 of them but wrote:
    “Wells has called the subject of hundreds of her photos– her own feet– ‘a mystery whose depths I have yet to faithfully illuminate.'”
    Many of the captions make me actually laugh out loud reading them years later. I’m begging him to make another work from her siblings’ random iPhone photos — he’s a hilarious creative writer and it’s a great keepsake from all those random photos kids like to take.

    • Amanda says...

      Rhianna – this is so delightful, and so adorable. I giggled just thinking about it. What a sweet, sweet gift <3

  32. Ashley says...

    In all seriousness the twitter thread is fantastic. But reading in the context of the commenter saying they thought everyone was using a euphemism for masturbating! 😂

    • Erin says...

      I snorted when I read that comment. I love the twitter thread so much, I can’t bring myself to close it from my browser even though I’ve read nearly every comment!

  33. Midge says...

    On “I had the house to myself” — some wise woman told me when I had babies to make sure I got five types of time away from my children every week:
    1) productive time in your house
    2) productive time out of your house
    3) unproductive time in your house
    4) unproductive time out of your house
    5) romantic time with your spouse, out of your house

    It really helped me to pay attention and relish those five things when I got them.

    • Anu says...

      That’s a great way of thinking about it! Thanks for sharing.

  34. Chrissie says...

    BEING AT MY HOUSE BY MYSELF!! OH MY GOD YES

    I get plenty of time away from my kids and husband outside of the house but my husband works from home so between him and the kids IT NEVER HAPPENS. I read him parts of the article that resonated and kindly reminded him he needs to get the f*@& out this weekend

  35. Leah says...

    I’m a Texan and the only thing you need for great guac is cumin. Tons of it. Avocado and cumin, maybe a squeeze of lime…some chopped onion and tomato if available. But really it’s just the avocado and cumin with some salt that makes tasty guac.

  36. Carrie Jones says...

    I have social anxiety too but even that doesn’t stop me from asking to pet a strangers dog.

    • Amanda says...

      Haha, me too! I always just hope the owners let me do my thing and don’t strike up a conversation…Don’t mind me, just here for the dog!

  37. Candice says...

    While we recognize our children as their own entities, my husband and I get a big kick out of what they got from one of us. Two weeks ago it came to our attention that our youngest had stashed some candy from last Halloween. This is so a thing my husband does, except he then never eats it. When I met him, he had all these candy bars from international places with one bite taken out and saved for “later.” But I digress: how did that one little thing make it into the gene pool. Hilarious!!

  38. Susan says...

    “An epiphany”? Lol! Every mom I know feels this way! 😂 I’m glad this woman figured it out as well: staying home is restorative indeed.

  39. Katie says...

    This is one of my most favorite poems ever! I loved that little quiz and seeing that my opinion matched the majority. They were so fucking sweet is already implied by the entire poem anyway. Thank you. Delightful links as always. These post are my favorite parts of Friday afternoons at work.

  40. Sherry says...

    Totally agree about the restorative power of being home alone when you have children!!!!

  41. Wendy says...

    This Is Just To Say
    BY WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS

    I have eaten
    the plums
    that were in
    the icebox

    and which
    you were probably
    saving
    for breakfast

    Forgive me
    they were delicious
    so sweet
    and so.
    fucking.
    cold

  42. Lauren says...

    Diced cucumber in the guacamole! Gives it an unexpected freshness!

  43. Betsy says...

    Where did you insert f@*king? Just out of curiosity.
    I fell into the “f@*ing delicious” category.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Same! Haha

  44. Lori says...

    Keep your guacamole recipe simple but sprinkle with warm toasted pumpkin seeds before serving (just toast them in a skillet with a little kosher salt).
    Delicious! (Apologies to my brother for giving away his secret!)

  45. Meg F says...

    Hello lovely COJ gals!

    I am wondering if there is anywhere particular where COJ accepts post ideas or if you even develop them with random folk sometimes? I am in the middle of lots of changes in life (is this intermission or is it the second act…who knows). I have been surprised to find so few articles or advice on quite a few topics and would love to see them covered here.

    Thank you!
    Meg

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Thank you so much for your note! We are always happy to hear from people about what they’d like to read about. The recent story we did on aunts was developed because so many readers asked for it. Please feel free to comment with your requests or email hello@cupofjo.com xoxo

  46. Tania says...

    I read that chess thing early this week and it was so fascinating. It really does feel like mental effort taxes you physically — I always feel hungry like after a workout after any period of really sustained mental activity (Also I clicked on that madewell link, and it goes to the whole website! I need you guys to tell me which things you like so I can, like, focus :)

  47. I went with what turned out to be the 3rd most popular spot: “so fucking sweet.” So far this has been the highlight of my day!

  48. Melanie B says...

    I love to mix in greek yogurt to make it extra creamy. Serrano chiles add a kick. And toasted pepitas for crunch!

  49. Denise says...

    Stress response burning calories like an athlete? I’m suuuuper skeptical because my daily stress-induced raised blood pressure, muscle contractions, and elevated breathing have done nothing but add weight for the last decade of my job and put me at risk for heart disease. I’m certainly not burning 6,000 calories a day even with actual exercise. How come chess stress is magical?

    Also, adding the F word to poetry is so F-ing satisfying. :) thanks cupofjo!

  50. Molly says...

    Try adding pickled jalapeños(blended) to your guacamole. So good!

  51. Cynthia says...

    Walking is great stress relief because I can wear comfortable shoes and enjoy my surroundings.

  52. Cynthia says...

    A dash of Worcestershire sauce does something for guacamole and I also add finely chopped fresh tomatoes.

  53. megan says...

    Quick hack for guacamole- cut the lime in half & broil for a few minutes. the flavor of roasted lime in there.. amazing!

  54. Jules says...

    I just had our fourth baby (1st daughter) yesterday! So, I’m enjoying the quiet newborn snuggles before heading home to her very excited big brothers tomorrow!

  55. Laura says...

    I like using shallots instead of red onion in guac (less intense raw onion-y breath) and adding roasted pepitas for texture and crunch!

  56. Josie says...

    What a tease! I thought you were getting a puppy this weekend! ;)
    Have a good weekend!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      haha i wish!

  57. Rebecca says...

    Leave the avocado pits in the guacamole bowl! It keeps the guac from browning.

    • Cynthia says...

      Yes, it works.

    • jules says...

      Why doesn’t this work when I cut an avocado in half? 🤨

  58. Lauren E. says...

    IMHO, the only thing that makes stellar guacamole is great avocados. Perfectly ripe. I make mine with just mashed avocados, lime juice, cumin, and salt, and everyone always raves!

    • Jennifer L says...

      This is my recipe as well. Keep it simple. No seeds, please.

  59. Jennie says...

    Swap out mango for the tomato in your gauc., diced about the size of a pencil eraser.
    If you have leftovers, keep it from going brown by covering the surface with water.

  60. EJ says...

    Love these Friday posts! But the OCD in me has to ask…why does it always say three reader comments and then only lists two? I’ve noticed this happening at least 3 times in the past. Is it some kind of experiment to see who will notice? :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh sorry! we often have a hard time narrowing them down and i’ll think we’re doing three but then finally cut down to two. i’ll be better about this in the future! xo

    • EJ says...

      Oh, no worries! I hope that didn’t come off rude. I only asked because I really like that feature. Your comment section is such a wonderful place, but I don’t always have time to read them all. So a recap of the best ones is always so lovely to read! I also always love seeing them posted on Instagram. Thank you for the response!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      not at all, EJ! :)

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      looks so good! thank you, lara!

  61. Sid says...

    AHHHH! Having the house to myself is THE DREAM. My (wonderful, generous, loving) husband and I have had this conversation so many times but it never really seems to sink in. Him: “you should make plans to go out and have fun with your friends” Me: “Or you could take the kids and go somewhere, anywhere for a night and just leave me here. Alone.” Sigh. The thing I miss most about my single life is being able to just putter around the house getting stuff done without endless observation, commentary and interruptions.

    • Bliss!! When my husband takes the 3 kids to the grocery store:) why does that time pass so fast?!

    • Tania says...

      Undersigned :)

    • celeste says...

      At least he asks. I bet 80% of men don’t ask their partners.

    • janee says...

      Dude, be pro-active! Reserve a room for them and have the concierge plan a kid-friendly activity. Just coordinate with your husband on the date and wave goodbye!

    • Jackie says...

      I used to have these glorious Saturdays and Sundays when I lived alone in my 20’s. Up early, farmers market and then puttering around the kitchen or house, listening to NPR, admiring the way the light moved throughout the day, and doing exactly whatever I felt like doing. Le sigh.

  62. This: “I had the house to myself,” a mother of two writes. “I had an epiphany. For me, to truly restore, I need to stay home by myself instead leave my home.” 100%! We have a toddler and on the weekends my husband often encourages me to go to a coffee shop or leave the house to get a break/me time. I just want to be home alone which is hard to pull off! So I take “shouldless days” off during the week and only do things I want to do. I am taking one on Tuesday – my only plans are to get a haircut. Besides that I want to just lump around with no one needing me for anything!

    • Tala says...

      It’s always nice to have a reset day isn’t it ?!
      When i want to treat myself i get a haircut , get lost in a bookshop, take a long walk while listening to my favorite podcasts and eventually stop by a coffee shop have a black coffee and people watch !