Design

Have a Lovely Weekend.

Flowers by Nicki Sebastian

What are you up to this weekend? I’m having some female friends over tomorrow night and kicking Alex out of the apartment. I’m also reading this book on many readers’ recommendations, and I can see why people call it life-changing. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few links from around the web…

All the Oscar nominees for 2019. Rooting for Roma!

“Why we’ll look back at our smartphones like cigarettes.”

Cutest look for Valentine’s Day.

I know you love Timothée Chalamet but I love him more.”

My friend brought this mint chocolate chip ice cream over a few weeks ago, plus sugar cones, and now I’m wondering why I’ve always ignored that delicious flavor.

Sonnet James dresses are on Shark Tank! (Fast forward to 32:35.) Huge congratulations to founder Whitney.

If you want to be a writer, read first.

LOVE these thoughts on parenting.

A mother took photos of herself and her son over 17 years. (Tears!)

An argument for patting lipstick on with a finger.

Plus, two reader comments:

Says Stacey on birthday cakes: “My mom’s favorite part of the cake is the frosting. As children, my sister and I had the idea to make a ‘cake’ by dumping a pile of frosting in a cake pan. We let it chill long enough to solidify, then added candles. In our excitement, we asked our mom what her dream cake was. When she responded, ‘Probably just frosting,’ we squealed and brought her precisely that!”

Says Ashley on death: “I was lucky enough to attend a lecture by Jane Goodall a few months ago and someone asked her about her plans for the future — ‘What will her next adventure be?’ I’ll never forget, she sat there quietly and steadily and said, ‘Death. Death will be my next great adventure.’ A few weeks later, I sat in the hospital and helplessly watched my dad take his last breath, and all I could hear in that moment was Jane’s voice in my head, calmly and confidently saying, ‘Death is the next great adventure.'”

(Top photo by Nicki Sebastian. Smartphone article via Swissmiss. Teenage boys link via Hither & Thither.)

  1. Katherine says...

    I love Mark Duplass’s philosophy of coping with the challenge of parenting young kids by imagining that the year is 2040 and he has time-traveled back to the present for just the one day. Although I don’t have kids yet, I just turned 30 and am beginning to experience the reality of aging parents. I plan on using this same approach to imagine that I’ve come back from the future and just get this one joyful day to spend with my mom and dad. What a beautiful way to think about life’s precious relationships.

  2. Barbara says...

    Sonnet James dresses…love the concept, love the style, but where are the pockets??? I thought we were going to bring on the pocket revolution!

  3. despina says...

    Jeanne Damas is a walking cliche. Sulky pretentiousness galore…
    #sorrynotsorry :)

  4. A good book is always a great option. Learn about south africa’s history for a change. I am reading the autobiography of Nelson Mendela!

  5. Nickie says...

    If you’re ever back in Ann Arbor, Blank Slate’s Garden Mint Chip ice cream is amazing. The mint flavor is so, so fresh!

    http://www.blankslatecreamery.com

  6. Julie says...

    Wow! The article by Cal Skipper…smart phones and cigarettes….it really resonated with me. I can’t stop thinking about it for personal reasons and parenting reasons. One of the best articles/thoughts/cases for getting off our screens. Thank you for sharing.

    • Jessica says...

      I agree… I can’t stop thinking about this. Sharing it widely.

  7. I’m sorry, but my 42DDs and I are lol-ing uncontrollable at that bralette. So cute with the polka dots, but oh my lord…

  8. Inger says...

    Thank you for linking to the smartphone article. I am currently on a month-long break from social media, and I just love the effects being out of the fast-information sphere. I am much more productive, I read books and knit in those in-between moments when I’d often otherwise grab my phone and scroll for a few minutes, I handle stress better, I feel calmer and happier overall and am not missing the scrolling one bit. It will be interesting to see where we are in a few years time, and if we still (mis?)use our smartphones as much as we do today. I read a really interesting book on this topic recently (I stumbled upon one week into my hiatus – how lucky!): “Notes on a nervous planet” by Matt Haig. I recommend it to anyone who is considering a break from social media.

    • Julie says...

      I agree 100%…i think that article was really telling. I’m ready for a tech cleanse too.

  9. These are all such great links; thanks for sharing!
    And that Jane Goodall quote…wow. That’s really something powerful.

  10. These are the points i’m looking for. Great post.

  11. Gabrielle says...

    Just popped in here to say: mint chocolate chip 4eva

  12. Veronika says...

    I saw Timotheé C. last summer. I was walking through the Frida Kahlo exhibition in Budapest (where I live) when I spotted him in the crowd. He is tall, very skinny and he was dressed very casually like a boy from highschool. I think he is taller than in the article :-)

  13. Jessica says...

    That’s a great way to put on lipstick when you have young, plump, clearly defined lips.

    Since I turned 40, lip liner has a whole new place in my world. I’m more likely to want a bit of smudged lip liner and chapstick than something I dab on.

  14. E says...

    That Jane Goodall quote gave me goosebumps… good ones!

    For any vegans or folks who don’t do dairy, Coconut Bliss makes a killer mint chocolate chip!!!

  15. Heather Mitchell says...

    The cigarette/smartphone article is spot-on. It requires an awareness I’m afraid not many of us hold. It’s part of my new years resolutions: increased awareness and intention. It’s a journey, but so far- worthwhile! I’m also reading a new book that has shed so much light on ME! As a 30-something woman, I have found that I need to do a lot of ‘soul searching’, Fiona Murden’s new book Defining You, has been such an eye opener. I love that I feel like I am working with a personal therapist- improving ME through understanding Me better. What a concept! I found more about Fiaona here, she’s pretty incredible! http://www.fionamurden.com

  16. agnes says...

    Thank you so much for the Cal Newport article, so interesting. I’m a digital minimalist (no smartphone, no instagram account), it’s not a difficult choice for me, I just have more interest for other activities. The way Cal Newport explains his vision is so clear and fascinating, he’s really understanding an important moment of our history.

  17. Emilia says...

    If you’re rooting for Roma you should definitely see Cold War. Just sayin’.
    I love the blog but I think Friday links are my absolute favorite.

  18. Em says...

    There’s more politics in the oscars than there is in Washington. I will watch the pretty dressed people on the red carpet but does anyone watch the award show anymore?

  19. Alexandra says...

    I recommend that book to everyone! SO GOOD!

  20. jfizz says...

    Does anyone know what lipstick palette is being used in that video?

  21. Emma says...

    recommending “Cold war”. I cried most of the movie

  22. Cece says...

    Genuine question: where do your boobs go in that bra?! It’s so pretty but mine would be about 15% contained with the other 85% balanced precariously over the top! Although it probably doesn’t help that I’m pregnant… #bigboobproblems

    Mmmm, mint choc chip ice cream. Now that and being pregnant go together very nicely indeed.

  23. Amanda says...

    Birthday Cake,.. I don’t really care for cake, never did. Since I was about 3yrs old my mom has gotten me the pre-packaged, non-fancy in any way Peacan Twirls for breakfast – with birthday candles! She knew I would enjoy it more than cake, and it was it was a way to start my Birthday immediately in the morning. This has been my Birthday breakfast for 36 years strong! Never missed a year! ❤️

  24. T says...

    Love the smartphone article! My husband, who has never had Facebook or a smartphone (and is 34), has been saying the same thing for years.

  25. Danielle says...

    I’m wondering what happened to the link to the “entitled white boys” article? Why did it get deleted?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Thanks for your comment about Covington on Cup of Jo. I actually read more think pieces and news coverage after her comment and ended up taking the Dame piece down bc I want to read, listen and learn more before taking a stand. The particular situation seems complicated, and while I generally believe deeply what the Dame article was saying overall (and was appalled by that smirk, which was so recognizable to me) I want to do a little more fact finding before coming out with a strong stance. Needless to say, that’s always essential for critical thinking. Still, will be posting much more soon about white supremacy, racial relations, etc. Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

      Here’s the article if anyone would like to read it! Totally agree overall the coddling in general but need to read and learn more about this specific situation:
      https://www.damemagazine.com/2019/01/24/lets-stop-coddling-white-teenage-boys/

    • Caroline says...

      The article is something every white person should read and remember over and over again so the smug and dangerous effects of white privilege does not continue on as heavily in the next generations.

    • Sasha L says...

      Joanna, I appreciate the thoughtfulness behind everything here.
      May I add, in addition to future posts about white supremacy and privilege and racism, please keep finding ways to spotlight all kinds of Americans (& others too). My husband just heard a powerful story on Alan Alda’s podcast about a former skinhead who has devoted his life to changing the hearts of those that believe as he once did. A central theme of how someone is changed is being confronted with the absolute undeniable humanity of those that are hated. The cognitive dissonance of *wait, this is a person, just like me*. It’s so hopefully, and it makes me think that every time COJ opens a discussion about children’s books with POC authors, or does a house tour with gay black ladies and their beautiful family, someone, somewhere is touched in an uncomfortable place, and forced to take a deeper look at their heart. The ordinariness, the hey, this is so relatable, it truly makes a difference. Please consider more stories about indigenous and native peoples, so many great ones out there to tell and so forgotten by many Americans. Their issues, such as violence against women and clean water, truly affect us all.

    • Marissa says...

      Immediately upon reading the article on Friday, I thought “who is this ‘we’?” Right wingers? Certainly no one else. I dislike how the author implies that there is a we (white people? Republicans? Americans?) and that this we is actively or passively coddling individuals like this. I am not part of this we. I’m not sure comparing this disrespectful entitled jerk to a murderer is appropriate despite the similar smirk. Yes, they may both be psychopaths- the jury is out on this kid until he’s diagnosed.. This young man has been soaking up Rush Limbaugh style bigotry which many of the religious conservatives I know heartily enjoy. Echo chambers are bad for everyone. And so is lumping all white boys into one broad category especially if it’s meant to imply white teen boys are all verging on psychopathy. In my opinion it’s an inflammatory article dressed up as a thoughtful journalism so I’m heartened to see it removed from the Friday links, which I always look forward to and remind me of your livejournal days. :)

    • Agnes says...

      Thank you Joanna for thinking twice and taking down something you couldn’t fully stand behind (as yet). The whole world’s a peanut gallery these days and it’s so refreshing to see people starting to think twice before knee-jerking without having the whole story. The whole story is ALWAYS not-what-you-might-think-at-first-glance. Always!!

  26. Friday links are my favorite too! Thanks for including me!

    and yes to ROMA!

  27. Matilda says...

    I’ve also thought about that time travel parent deal. Isn’t that just great? And it would totally be like a normal day you’d want to come back to, you know?

    I’ve also thought about it in the reverse. Like when my three boys are being extra snuggly. Maybe they have time travel in the future & I’m gone and my boys got the opportunity to come back & spend the day with me.

    • Amy says...

      Have you seen the movie About Time? It has a lot of these themes; the main character can time travel. I just watched it again and maybe because I have a kid it made me cry so much! But in a good way.

    • Leanne says...

      Oh my gosh this made me tear up at my desk. Thanks Matilda. Sometimes I don’t feel like I have the energy or time for the snuggles – this gave me new perspective and makes me want to say yes yes yes to my babies more.

    • Anneka Werner-gavrin says...

      The reverse is so incredibly sweet.

  28. Suzie says...

    Hope you are having a fun birthday weekend!!!

  29. Rachel S. says...

    Oh my gosh I just finished that book and it changed my life!! I wish someone had me read it when I was 16 or something. I feel so much more confident and understood. I hope you enjoy!

  30. Andrea K says...

    That Jane Goodall comment! Ah!!!!

    • Sasha L says...

      I just don’t want her to die. I saw her speak, a few years ago, she seemed quite fragile, so small up on the stage, her voice wasn’t terribly strong. But after, we stood in line to have an autograph (and really, just to see her up close and breathe the same air for a moment), and her eyes were so bright and sparkling, like the eyes of a very clever young girl. Even as she looks toward death, she’s such an inspiration. I hope it’s a long ways off still.

    • Jess says...

      Jane Goodall spoke at my college commencement 19 years ago and because it was a small women’s college, we all got to spend a bit of time with her. She was FIERCE. It is not surprising to me that she will be an adventurer, even in the face of death.

  31. Laura says...

    I wonder if Jane Goodall knew that she was quoting J.K. Rowling when she said this. Dumbledore says in the Sorcerer’s Stone, “To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”

    • Bonnie says...

      Or if J.K. knew Peter Pan said, “To die would be an awfully big adventure.” … I guess that thought has beguiled many for ages.

    • Stephanie says...

      That’s exactly what I thought! Dumbledore always says it best <3

  32. Ooof, that Jane Goodall quote really took my breath away.

    On a lighter, more ice cream-y note: Tillamook makes a really delicious mint chocolate chip in case you’re not patient enough to wait for shipping and NEED to get it at the grocery store tonight. It’s Friday, after all! No judgment.

    • Marcy says...

      Oh we discovered Tillamook ice cream visiting friends in Seattle. We were excited to find we could get it in CO and the mint chocolate chip – not green! – is my absolute favorite! So rich and creamy and perfect. And not just because I don’t have to share because my husband doesn’t like mint 😉

    • Hani says...

      Tillamooo mint choc chip is THE BEST one—perhaps because the chocolate is tempered softer and not at all waxy like in (seemingly) every other kind?
      Happy to find another fan ☺️☺️☺️👏🏼👏🏼

    • shannon says...

      Aaargh, we loved Tillamook when we lived in CO! The brambleberry pie flavor…those jammy ribbons and crumble and crust bits! Sadly, I haven’t seen it here in PA.

    • b says...

      Tillamook ice cream is my favorite. My cousin on my dad’s side is an ice cream lover (I think that’s where I got it from) and visiting his house is the actual best – there are always at least four or five different flavors in the freezer. There’s a berry one that is absolutely delicious, but it’s only available in the PNW (at least I think so; I’ve never seen it in Nevada).

  33. Amy says...

    I always enjoy & look forward to your Friday links, but these are just BEYOND! My husband is trying to catch up on The Good Place & I keep making him pause so he can listen to me read these articles. Thank you especially for the one from Dame about teenage white boys. I’ve had such a hard time articulating my rage over this story & the response to it.

  34. maia says...

    THANK YOU so much for the DAME article!

  35. Jane says...

    Does anyone else find that lipstick lady maddening? A croissant a day keeps your skin glowy and everything about you impeccably gorgeous? Can you imagine? I’m all for applying lipstick with your fingers and patting but makeup tips from gals who don’t need a lick of makeup is always a bit tough for me to swallow. Just my tiny opinion!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      Haha I hear you! Although I still looove the smudgy lipstick look and have been applying with a finger for the past week:)

    • diana k. says...

      I hear you, but I would suggest you lean into the sentiment of the video. I’m definitely not as gorgeous as “lipstick lady” but I definitely feel like I am after eating a croissant at my vanity and smudging on some lipstick.

    • LAURA says...

      This is outside of the point of the link which is to pat on lipstick, but this comment’s sentiment is also how I feel about most “lazy” tutorials/videos brands like Vogue do. They already have the most beautiful people by society’s standards modeling for them, and then have eating a croissant as one of the steps. I know it’s a joke, but still. It reminds me of this article –
      https://www.vox.com/2017/7/5/15880176/how-to-french-girl-style-beauty

  36. Charlotte K says...

    OK, I’m going to NYC in a few weeks and I will be finding that ice cream! With rum raisin, one of my fave flavors.

    Re the BRILLIANT 17 year photos, do you know about the Goldbergs who have been doing this so long their grandchildren now feature? I wish I had the sort of family that was this organized.
    http://zonezero.com/en/open/158-the-arrow-of-time

  37. Amy says...

    Jane Goodall’s comment reminded me of the words of the great Nan Shepherd (as recounted by Robert MacFarlane in Landmarks) : ‘[A] student of Shepherd’s asked her if she believed in the afterlife. “I hope it’s true for those who have had a lean life”, she replied. “For myself – this has been so good, so fulfilling.”‘

  38. Maureen says...

    I just bought the same book, can’t wait to read it but also hear your thoughts!