Motherhood

Toby and Anton in Conversation

Toby and Anton reading

What funny things have the kids in your life said recently? Now that Toby is 8 and Anton is 5, they’re getting really curious about the world around them. How does it all work? They’re such sweet ages, where everything feels enticing and magical. Here are a few funny things they’ve busted out with lately…

Toby recently hung a puppy calendar next to his bed. The other day, I glanced over his shoulder, and instead of “the first day of school” or “Thanksgiving,” he was writing down more essential milestones: “When I first heard Kissing Strangers” (March 5th) and “the day I threw up” (April 21st).

Anton loves his toy ukulele. Alex recently asked him if he’d like to take lessons. Anton shook his head: “I don’t want to play real guitar. I want to play pretend guitar.”

On a drizzly afternoon at the park:
Toby: “What a great day to play soccer.”
Anton: “Yeah, this is a great rainy day ’cause it’s not too rainy but it’s also not too not-rainy.”

Anton’s always asking questions about the world around him. (“How long until I’m older than Toby?” “Do you have to pay to get money from the bank?”) They’ve also learned a little about where babies come from, including the very basics of sex, and Anton recently turned to me in the kitchen and asked matter-of-factly, “So, Mommy, do flies do the lie-down-naked thing?” (I mean, DO they?)

Anton: “What’s a revolution?”
Me: “Where did you hear the word?”
Anton: “A Tom Petty song.” (pause) “The song went, ‘Something something something something something revolution something something something something something something something.'”

Anton: “I made three friends at school today.”
Me: “That’s great! What are their names?”
Anton: “I don’t know their names! I can’t know everybody’s name!”

Snorkeling in the bath

Snorkeling in the bath.

note for the tooth fairy

Leaving a chocolate chip and a note for the tooth fairy. Break my heart.

Joanna Goddard and Alex Williams

Watching Alex and me head out to dinner. Their little faces!

Joanna Goddard and Alex Williams

Anton’s hand lol.

pajamas

What have the kids in your life said recently? What makes them laugh? I’d love to hear.

P.S. More conversation posts, and talking to kids about sex, death, race and consent.

  1. Emma says...

    My three year old has just started ‘Petit Section’ at school here in France, where children have to be potty trained. We had such a busy summer with family illness-based dashing trips to England that we left potty training to the last minute, saying to him that there was to be no nappies at school (he was very excited to start school so that worked thankfully!)

    But then the first Sunday after the first successful week at school, I was trying to get him dressed…

    “Donovan, come and put your underpants on please.”

    “No, just willy, no pants. It’s not school today!”

  2. Lisa says...

    The scariest thing is having my toddler repeat things that I say, like I didn’t realise how frequently I say “ugh” until he started doing it. He’s st the stage where he’s in everything, so “don’t touch” I’d used a LOT. His baby sister was touching something she shouldn’t and he said “Baby! No touch it! So many times I say it”

  3. I cut my son’s hair and we did a manga hairstyle. Manga hairstyle needs a decent gel. So we put gel on his hair and when it started raining I told my son to put his hood up.
    ‘But the hood will ruin my hair!’

    My son is 8 going 18 =P

  4. Ilona says...

    My nearly three-year-old, to his sister (8) who’s upset: ‘Cheer up, sausage.’ (After he hit her.)

    At naptime: ‘Mummy, I missed you! Mummy, you’re my best friend.’

    I took my kids to a Slimming World meeting in a church hall near us. So, empty room, folding chairs set up, kind of sparse and bleak. Three-year-old, scrambling onto a chair and looking around, ‘I like this pub!’

    • Nancey says...

      SO funny!!!

  5. Jessica says...

    Last night my husband was working late so we had our dinner picnic-style on the dining room floor, complete with some after dinner entertainment from each of my kids. My kindergartener wanted to sing a song he just learned in school. He began with, “You’re a Randolph flag, you’re a high flying flag….”

  6. Kate says...

    Their relationship gets me every time! My two are 3.5 (boy) and 19m (girl) and oh my hat do they fight. My 3.5yo has taken to calling me Sexy Mommy. Like his father does. I’m still unsure of how to deal with it as he is strong willed and saying NO is an invitation to continue with vigour ;)

  7. Courtney says...

    My husband and I were invited to dinner for the first time with new friends. I was debating if I should bring a bottle of wine, or a bottle of Champagne, so I asked my 12 year old son what he thought. He said, “Wine is fancy, Champagne is fun. Do you want to be fancy or fun? Fun!” Obviously, we took the Champagne :)

  8. Sarah says...

    When my little boy was 4, I had another baby boy and breast-feeding became a topic of great interest and importance to my 4 year old, who would often stand and watch.
    “Those are your boobies?”
    “Yup.”
    “You’re feeding the baby milk with your boobies?”
    “That’s right.”
    “Do baby boys need milk?”
    “All babies do, yes.”

    This topic went on some time until the 4 year old went to pre-K… Walked up to his teacher (who thankfully had kids of her own and was of a certain age), forcefully poked her in the chest with a finger and loudly announced, “Those are your boobies! Boys like boobies!”
    To his teachers eternal credit, she just shrugged and went “I guess so!”

    I wanted to die.

  9. Smitha says...

    My 3 yo in all seriousness, heading towards the door said “Mamma I’m going to the shop. I need to buy an alligator”. Oh the cuteness!

  10. Abesha1 says...

    Omg just today, from my 6yo:
    Him: “My teacher told us a story about a boy who talked too much. He was really sad when he couldn’t talk because he got vaginas.”
    Me: “Um… I think you mean laryn-gitis?”
    Rolling.

  11. JML says...

    2 1/2 year old Son:
    can I go back into your belly again someday?
    Me: why buddy? (Thinking: that head was way too big to come out in the first place?!)
    Son: So I can be born again.
    Me:(speechless)

    • Sarah says...

      This reminds me of a Bible verse… if your son was referencing this, I’d be even more speechless! :) John 3:3-7

  12. Holly says...

    My wonderful husband does more than his fair share of housework. I didn’t realize how much so, until one day I took out the vacuum and my 2 year old daughter gasped, “That’s Dada’s vacuum!”

    No gender stereotypes in this house.

  13. MandyH says...

    Holden (5 yo): Mom, if I were you what would I be doing?

    Me: Drinking coffee and reading a book?

    Holden: No, I would stop bossing my son around.

    🤨🤨

    • GV says...

      Soooo funny…. And to the point!!👍☺️☺️

  14. Megan Isennock says...

    Our kid’s nanny is from Mexico, and they are budding bilinguals thanks to her amazing patience and language immersion. I know being able to speak Spanish will enhance their lives in so many ways as they grow older but i sort of don’t care if they ever use their skill because my two year old son currently refers to urine as “penis agua” and i can’t imagine be more impressed.

    • Rainbow says...

      Ahahahahahaha!

  15. Olivia says...

    My nephew just started kindergarten and was telling my husband how he had had two “specials” in one day (gym and art or something like that). My husband was kidding around and replied, “oh, you must be exhausted!” My nephew, quite emphatically, replied “you have NO idea.”

  16. Robin says...

    My 3 year old just started taking ballet classes (just like her big sister!). During her first class, she kept pretending to fall down (I guess to make her friends/the parents in the audience laugh?). Everyone else’s child was holding their arms just so, pointing their toes, and had their eyes riveted on the teacher, while my Lucy was galloping around them all in a circle and then wiggling her little leotard-clad bum until she fell over again and again. I couldn’t handle it and by the end of one of the songs (involving some very boisterous scarf use) I was trying so hard not to laugh that I had tears streaming down my face. Lucy yelled from across the room, “Mommy! Are you crying because I dance so good??” I can’t handle her :D

    • OMG that is so precious. She sounds amazing <3

  17. Sasha L says...

    Oh I love these posts so much, thank you for spreading joy, from the bottom of my empty nest mama heart.

    From one of my preschool students today: discussing bears and what they eat (omnivores), “hey, bears don’t eat bunnies do they?!?” “Well, yes, if they are hungry, they might, everyone has to eat.” Quiet for a moment, then, “if I carry blueberries when we hike, can I give those to the bears instead?” Her friend, “yeah! Let’s carry peanut butter! EVERYONE loves peanut butter, right?” TRUTH.

  18. Carolyn says...

    My son is 18 months old and quite verbal for his age, or so I’ve been told by everyone we meet, because he never stops talking. He charms the other customers at the market by enthusiastically naming the items he recognizes (“BANANA! APPLES! CANT-A-LOPE!”) and has a few of his very own catch phrases (like “Walk-a walk-a walk-around!” for when he struts around the house, or “Simon brush your teeth please!” which he says to the Winnie the Pooh picture on his toothbrush AFTER he’s done brushing). My latest favorite is from the other morning. I brought him into Mama and Dada’s bed since it was still dark when he woke up. He snuggled under the covers between us, was quiet and motionless for about a minute, then yelled: “I. AM. SLEEPING!”

    • Cathy says...

      HAHA! This cracked me up!!

  19. Elisa says...

    I asked my 4 year old son to ask his classmate what she’d like as a birthday gift (her birthday party was coming up). When he got home from school he told me he had asked her but totally forgot what it was.
    A few minutes later he remembered what toys she wanted and I asked “Good! How did you remember?!”.
    Him: “I google searched with ALL my body!”

    • Kara says...

      Oh wow that’s the BEST

  20. Daisy says...

    A while back, my 7.5 yr old son was really into understanding death. So a few conversations went like this. With his grandpa, “ How old are you Grandpa?”. “ I am 80”. My son goes, “ So you have 20 more years then!”

    With me: “ How old are you?”
    Me: “37”
    My son: “ How old is your cousin?”
    Me: 34
    My son: “ Okay then, you are the one to go first!”

  21. Kriww says...

    I have a 5 yo girl, a 3,5 yo boy and a newborn babygirl. My 5 yo and my 3,5 yo always argue about their baby sister, like: she loves me more! no she love me most. lol

    My boy always makes a huge mess when he eats or plays and whenever I ask him to clean up or tidy up he says: but I’m just a little boy I need help! duh!

    One day the big bro and sis wanted to hold the baby. My boy said: I can do it let me do it! and his big sister said: no, you’re just a LITTLE boy remember? you said that yourself! BOOM!!

  22. Karen says...

    My husband is a serious type of guy and is sometimes referred to as cranky Frank. When our granddaughter was about 3 years old she was visiting and my husband picked her up, She very lovingly put her hand on his face, looked him in the eyes and said “What’s the matter sweet cheeks? Do you want to give me a wedgie? Will that make you feel better?” Needless to say he did smile!!

  23. Shannon says...

    My two year old calls marshmallows “trash barrows”. She has had them exactly once in her life but talks about them weekly.

    • Mrs D says...

      Gah, I freaking love how kids do this!

  24. Connie says...

    My husband had John McCain’s funeral on tv and had explained to my five year old that a very important person in America had died and all these people had gotten together to celebrate how wonderful his life was. He watches for a while and then says, very matter-of-factly, “They aren’t celebrating his life. They’re happy that he’s dead.”

    Well ok then, that turned dark.
    #doingsomethingwrong

  25. My daughter, after seeing my husband sneak a piece of lettuce from the salad bowl, ” OH!! Is this Hand Lettuce?” Grabs a handful, genuinely excited about this new delicacy.
    Now we serve Hand Lettuce when we’re feeling extra fancy. :)

  26. Beth says...

    Love all of these stories! Just what I needed after a long day: thank you.

    every night we say the same little prayer before bed and I end with sending “blessings to our loved ones near and far.” My little guy was tucking in his baby doll and said the exact prayer ending with “to our loved ones who live in their cars. Mommy are they big cars? That sounds fun! When can we meet them?” Ummm…

  27. Megan says...

    Conversation with my 5 year old just before starting kindergarten…
    “Are you excited now about kindergarten after meeting your new teacher?”
    “Yes, Mommy, I’m excited now. I’m mouse sized excited (holds hands together)…and GIANT sized scared (arms out wide)!!”
    Ah my heart!

    • Jamie says...

      Oh, I love that! I went on a job interview and felt exactly the same way! So perfect.

  28. tina says...

    When my son came home from 1/2 day kindergarten one afternoon, my husband asked if he learned anything. He said, ‘nah, I’m still dumb.’ And once he told me that when he has learned how to wipe his bum and zip up his jacket, he was outta here. He is twelve now. Sigh.

  29. Ivy says...

    When my 3-year-old wants to sit on my lap, he says, “Mommy will you sit on my lap?” I know the day will come when he switches it around, but until then, I always answer, “Yes, Mommy will sit on your lap.”

  30. Kim says...

    My three year old daughter today:
    “I want to be a teacher like Mama, I want to be a big kid like Mama, and I want to be a girl like Mama!”

    And I’m a nurse practitioner :)

  31. Kelsi says...

    My just-turned 4 year old has been really into playing airplane lately. His version has a few chairs lined up in a row with us as the passengers and he’s the pilot. The other day we were playing and I told him he needed to do the announcements before take off. He busted out with: “hello…uh… this is the captain. Here are the rules: sit in your seat. Don’t get up. Don’t get naked on this plane. Your clothes hafta stay on! You can eat some snacks if you want. Well…yeah [this is how he trails off in every conversation].”

    I was DYING.

    • Lara says...

      Hahahah! Love it

  32. My 6-year-old making one Barbie talk to another: “No, I want something stylish. I want something chic!”

  33. Yen says...

    Yesterday, I came home from work to find my son (almost 6) and his friend (5 yo) colouring a paper.
    Me: ” What are you making?”.
    Son: “Money to buy a candy at the store!” And off they ran.

  34. Ali says...

    My son after being reminded that he can actually get his own glass of water – “ugh!! It’s so hard being 5!! I have to do everything!!”
    His brother- “You think 5 is hard, try being 8!”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahahahaha the other day, when he had to clear his cereal bowl, anton was like “I DO SO MUCH TO HELP THIS FAMILY!!!”

      i was like…. do you, though? :)

  35. Ali says...

    “Mum! Why has it got two bums?!!” – my middle boy watching his baby sisters first nappy change

  36. Christine says...

    We just brought home newborn twins so we’ve been asking my 4yo to help more around the house. She volunteered to put beer in the fridge one day, and the next day she opened it up and said, “What happened to all the beer?! I just filled this yesterday!”

    We’ve also been talking about breastfeeding frequently, and the first time I fed a baby when we got home, my 2yo came up and said, “Hey! Cover that thing up!” Later, he came to me looking so serious and sad and said, “Mommy, my nipple is gone!” (Luckily he lifted his shirt and realized he was mistaken.)

    • Mrs D says...

      Literal LOL over here, so great, all of it!

  37. Frankie says...

    My five-year-old daughter routinely says things that give me the highest of highs and lowest of lows. They say things in the most matter of fact way that just CRUSH you.
    On the one hand:
    “Mom I wish that we were the same age and went to school together and were friends [pause] … and also twins!”
    And on the other:
    “I’m not being rude, it’s just that I don’t LIKE spending time with you, mom!”

    Five you guys, she’s five. Please don’t warn me about the teenage years I’ve heard (and remember)!

  38. Nicole A. says...

    My friend’s 10 year old granddaughter told me that she named her pet turtle “Chik-fil-a.” I asked why, and she said, “Because he doesn’t come out of his shell on Sundays.”

    • APaige says...

      Ahahaha! That is adorable. For some reason it also brings to mind when Ramona Quimby named her doll the most beautiful thing she could think of: Chevrolet.

  39. Justine says...

    My son just turned two and is now happily entering the phase of saying funny things. I recently introduced him to Bruno Mars dance parties and now he is obsessed with 24K Magic! For some reason he calls it “oh yeah!” He’ll ask for it by saying, “Mama, ah-oh-yeah?” While wigging his little shoulders and pumping his fists to signify it’s time to DANCE :) It’s the sweetest.

  40. Brooke says...

    Yesterday I told my 5 year old we were going to the Utah State Fair to see all of the animals who had won prizes for looking the best. He immediately responded, “they’re doing staring contests?!”

    We also went to Disneyland over Labor Day & after talking about Darth Vader chasing people on Star Tours he said, “But Mom, are you suuure no one gets killed at Disneyland?!”

    • Abby says...

      I cry laughed at the staring contest!

  41. Sarah Mack says...

    I was shopping with my 6 year old for back to school clothes and after I told her for the “hundredth” time that she didn’t need a new purse, she turned to me, sighed, and said, “But accessories are happiness.” So true my dear, so true!

    • Leah says...

      Gah! I only have sons. I hope you bought that brilliant child a purse! ;)

  42. Jill says...

    This is so me and my husband but in reverse watching our oldest go to Homecoming!
    Alex is thinking how many more minutes until I get my dirty martini!! And the blue dress is EVERYTHING!

  43. Heather says...

    We took my daughter to the art museum and she seemed to be loving it but when I asked her if she was ready to leave she said, “yes please! I have seen ENOUGH naked people for one day.”

    • Silvina says...

      LoL!!

  44. Gina says...

    Anton! “I can’t know everyone’s name!!” hahahahahaha

    Oh my goodness, what dolls you have.

    • Sadie says...

      Right? We are all Anton.

  45. JC says...

    Such a happy post :).

  46. margaux says...

    “can i have graham crappers?”

    and unrelated

    “i want to play jell-o.” (cello)

    – olympia, 4 years

  47. Carrie says...

    The not too not rainy thing got me! Kids are the funniest

  48. Laura says...

    This week has been a good one for quotes around here.

    Samson (age 3): “Mom, did you know wild caterpillars can fly?!”

    Samson hit his head on the kitchen cabinet door knob and was crying hysterically, I didn’t see it so I asked him what happened –
    S: “I got a bonk from that hammer!”
    Me: “Oh no! What hammer? How’d that happen?!”
    S: “No, not a hammer, that mushroom” *points to doorknob*

    Samson was whining about not getting to wear his favorite shirt which he got dirty the day before. Nash (age 5.5) tries to help by chiming in knowingly, “Samson, I know you really wanted to wear your lightning bolt shirt, but life is …. life! And, if you wear the same shirt every day you will get a belly infection!”

  49. Jo says...

    After the first week of school, I asked my 2nd grade son what he learnt at school and he replied ” a whole lot of nothing”.

    LOL & WTH!!

  50. Laura Carroll says...

    My 12-year old — an avid reader — recently said our cat’s ears made him look like a “pla-too-a.” Imagining that this was a fantastic animal, I asked what that was. “It’s like a mountain with its top cut off!” A plateau. I love that she still says things that make me laugh.

    • Eloise says...

      I love the words they’ve read but haven’t heard yet!

      Or daughter tends to almost, but not quite, remember new words — the other day she was talking about “that soup you serve cold, with the tomatoes? You know … gestapo?”

    • Jo says...

      So sweet! At 7 yo, my son has corrected most of his baby talk.. but there are still a few words left that make me smile everytime – “vellina icecream” (vanilla) and “god-vida” for godiva :)

  51. Sarah says...

    Oh my goodness is Toby still reading In The Town All Year Round? We got it at your recommendation. It is so neat!

    • Sandra says...

      Us too! We still read it and our son is 8 now.

  52. Amy Lynn says...

    When my 5 year old son and I were at the park a week or two ago, I mentioned seeing him jumping off the monkey bars and he corrected me: “mom, it wasn’t jumping, it was just holding on then unholding on.” Which, I mean, that’s actually pretty accurate, right?
    I just love his weird little vocabulary and his viewpoint. On our walk through some trees on the way to school last week, near some swampy ground, I mentioned that the woods were really stinky. “Oh!” he said, “maybe a squirrel is pooping!” Maybe so, little dude. Maybe so.

  53. Lisa says...

    When I was four years old I was upset that I couldn’t go on a trip with my dad and brothers to the Super Bowl. I told my dad “I can do anything they can do” to which he replied “Can you pee standing up?” I apparently got the stepstool, went into the bathroom, and proceeded to straddle the toilet and pee standing up. I did not get to go to the super bowl.

    Two weeks later my dad brought a prospective new employee to dinner at our house (my dad was a doctor and ran his own practice). When my dad introduced me to this guy and shaking his hand I said “Hi I’m Lisa and I can pee standing up.” I have never loved this down. Also my dad was kind of a sexist a**, but very lovable. He went on to include me in future sporting trips.

    • Lisa says...

      Lived, not loved.

  54. Amy says...

    Love your dress!

  55. Sarah says...

    My 2.5 year old says all sorts of hilarious things. Some recent ones:
    “I want to grow a baby in my tummy. Are you growing a baby in your tummy? I have a baby growing in my tummy.” (her baby brother is 3 months old)

    “Mama, I like your face. It doesn’t have whiskers”

  56. Sarah says...

    Our three-year-old was around for our one-year-old’s poopy diaper change, and he noticed that there was some corn in her poop. We said, “Yeah, Buddy, you can tell she ate some corn because we can see it in her poop.” I was kind of in autopilot and without really thinking asked, “Any idea what else she’s been eating?” and he said, “POOP!”

    • DC says...

      😂

  57. Vicky says...

    I adore your dress and those heels are amazing!

  58. Daisy says...

    Such a lovely post. This past week we had our Back to school night and the Teacher told the Parents we can write a note for our kid and leave it on their desk as a surprise. I wrote a poignant note and the next day I asked my second grader if he received a surprise note and he said “ Yeah, I saw it and then threw it in the trash.” Lol

    • Jo says...

      LOL! Similar situation here: asked my 2nd grader if he got the note I left for him in his class and he said “yes.. but it was too long so I didnt read it”. :-/

  59. Emmie says...

    “Do you have to pay to get money from the bank!” – ha! yes, poor people pay in interest.

  60. Sara says...

    Love reading all of these! I wish I could remember all of the hilarious things my 3-year old son says. One that comes to mind- we were putting together one of his birthday presents on his 3rd birthday. I told him that we had been concentrating and our brains were working so hard. He looked back at me very seriously and replied, “No, mommy, no we are not. Men don’t need brains. Me and daddy don’t have brains.” I could not stop cracking up!

  61. Molly says...

    I don’t have children yet, but the fact that there are young people in this world who know who Tom Petty is makes me very excited for that journey.

    • Courtney says...

      We just moved and my 2 year has dealt with way too many new house woes with me. When I told her it was time for a bath, she responded, “ water heater fixed?” Then when we had company over and everyone was noticing how hard it was raining, she pointed to the ceiling while nodding and remarked, “gutters.” :) Quite the budding vocabulary.

  62. Maj says...

    Really love your Toby and Anton in conversation ‘s posts Joanna ! I remember when my niece Elena was around six years old, she once told my sister while staring at her hugely interested : auntie, did you use to wear glasses when you were a monkey ? So sweet !

  63. Emily J says...

    My youngest son was 3 at the time (currently 4 1/2, can’t forget the important half year! ;-) and we were in the car at night one time. We were looking out the window and I was trying to point out something that was outside. He then said to me “But Mom, I can’t see because the dark is in the way!” Hard to argue with that…

  64. Christina says...

    I’m digging Toby’s toenails! So cool!

  65. Scared the host will find out says...

    We went to a kids party with an awkward atmosphere and my 3yo picked up on it. We were driving home and she piped up “Mummy, that was an AWFUL party.”

    She takes no prisoners. I need her to do TripAdvisor reviews….

    But seriously, I just accepted a job offer to go back to what I love part time and we are navigating it together. She’s very upset because Daddies go to work and Mummy stays at home, even though her schedule won’t really change and my Mum (her favourite person) will be taking care of her. She doesn’t realise that her saying that makes me realise how important it is I get back to work.

  66. Emily says...

    We’ve been trying out new drop-in playgroups and last Thursday, my 2 year old came into my room to snuggle in the morning. She picked up the clock on my night stand and proclaimed, “Mama! A clock says time a try a new play group!” Her biggest sentence to date, and so tricky and sweet.

  67. Em says...

    After my five year old daughter farted she proclaimed, ‘we may have a problem, let me check’. She pulls down her pj bottoms; ‘yep’. And then I taught her about a shart.

    • katie says...

      This made me laugh so hard

    • Sara says...

      OMG! THIS made my day!

    • Doing the silent-shaky-shoulders laugh here at my office desk!

  68. Elizabeth says...

    Today my almost 5 year old boy said, “Mama, I want to get that book There’s a Giraffe in my Soup.” So I said, “okay, we’ll see…” (because what else do moms say!?). And he exclaimed, “We’ll see?!?! NO! That’s not for books. We’ll see is for sweeties!!” (Sweeties is what he has termed all sweet treats and desserts). I laughed so hard the whole ride home!

  69. Stephanie says...

    My nearly two and a half year old is still mostly without words. We have been using a few signs (more, all done, open) since she was one. She will say a few words: ma, dad, hi, yeah, bubba (bubbles), bug, ball) but not consistently. She has a very rare venous malformation in her brain that has left us lost and confused. We still have not found a specialist with experience in this condition due to the rarity. We don’t know what it could all mean for her future. We are using several different therapies, including speech.

    Usually when she says “ma” it’s in a whiny way “maaaaa” because I am making her do something she prefers not to: have her diaper changed, wipe her face, etc., but the other night while snuggling on the couch she ever so sweetly reached up to my face and quite clearly and confidently said “Mommy” and the whole world stopped spinning as I smiled back at her amazed. My little unicorn.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, stephanie, that’s so moving. she sound like such a wonderful, curious little person. i’m so sorry about all you’re going through. that sounds really, really hard. sending you all my love today.

    • Laura says...

      This is amazing! You & your little unicorn are doing such a good job, mama. xo

    • Lauren says...

      CRYING! What a beautiful moment, both while it was happening, and for all the times you’ll be able to reflect back, and feel the warmth of that moment flooding your body all over again. Thank you for sharing that with all of us.

    • Charity says...

      That’s beautiful. As the momma of a non verbal (rare genetic condition) 5 year old, i can only imagine the way your heart melted. <3 <3 <3

    • ana says...

      Good for her and what a lovely moment and mum she has x

    • Silvia says...

      That is so beautiful, thank for sharing, sending lots of love!!

    • Isabelle says...

      ❤️❤️❤️

  70. Katherine says...

    My son, 4, has a relatively good understanding of where babies come from. He demonstrated this last week a bedtime last week the subject of babies came up. “They (mama’s) just pop the baby out of their 3rd hole”. Looks like we may need to work on correct terminology, and eventually how babies get in there in the first place.

  71. Sioban says...

    I love these posts!

    I figured out today that my 4 year old has an imaginary friend. His name is Derek, he’s 7, he’s from California and likes to eat stew!

    We are from London so I have no idea how he knows about California.

    Kids are spooky!

    • Carmel says...

      I don’t know why but I really love that he likes to eat stew :)

    • Amanda says...

      MY imaginary friend was from California, as well! I grew up in the middle of the US so maybe it sounded exotic to me? LOL Kids are little weirdos.

    • Just someone says...

      Maybe he’s a budding writer! I love how he basically made up an entire backstory for his imaginary friend, including where he’s from and what he likes to eat. He could totally write about Derek, or at least dictate his stories to someone who can write it down for him. Maybe this could also be a good opportunity for him to learn about California as well.

  72. Sara says...

    We were discussing Joe’s Crab Shack recently. 3 year old: Crab Shit? I was like SHAAAAACK!

  73. laura says...

    I am dying over Alex’s gold chain. So bad ass!

    • Vivian says...

      I know, right?
      And where is the button down blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up?
      It feels like Joanna is cheating on Alex with this Sailor Dude!!!

  74. Minna says...

    My almost 2-year old will make casual suggestions, like

    “How about hokey-pokey?”
    “How about chicken dance?” …then she flaps her “wings” and clucks.
    “How about shopping?”

    It’s so funny, like chatting with a beloved yet insane girlfriend. Sooooo fun, I love this age.

  75. Alexis says...

    “What’s a bounty hunter?”
    Thanks, Star Wars.

    Also, I recently killed a giant rodent-sized cockroach in front of him (poor kid – I screamed bloody hell and he had to bring me my slippers to whack the thing). While still naked I had to answer:
    What is that thing?
    Why did you kill it?
    Why was it still moving after you hit it?
    Why did you flush it down the toilet?
    Why was did its arm fall off?
    Why did his arm still move after it fell off?

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahahahahah

  76. Alexa says...

    My son (6) came home from school Friday and proudly announced he got his first kiss. “Wow. That’s exciting! How do you feel?” I asked. “GREAT! Now that I know she likes to kiss, we can do more of it.” Oy.

  77. Mado says...

    I’m teaching first grade and, out of nowhere, one of my tiny pupils who was looking at me quite intensely gasped and said: ” you are SO beautiful. Actually i like your face but i also like how you are on the inside, you know, in your heart.”

    Best compliment i ever received!

    • Maggie says...

      That is the sweetest! Kid compliments are my favorite compliments because they’re so genuine! Flip side – insults can be SO pointed haha.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, mado! that is so touching.

      and maggie, i hear you :) we were hanging out with friends the other day, and her daughter walked up and said, “why do you have hair coming out of your nose?” i was like UMMMMMM NOTED.

    • Olivia Waters says...

      Be still my beating heart, that is so wonderful!

    • Mado says...

      haha, yes! I was reading a story the other day and right after i finished, when they were all still very quiet, another one exclaimed “your face is weird”.
      You win some you loose some i guess! ;)

  78. Julia says...

    This morning, my 6 year old asked me during our on-the-go breakfast: Mum, why is it that we only do a long, beautiful breakfast when we have guests, like when Greta had been sleeping over?”
    Me: “I actually don’t know, really…”
    Him: “It’s a bit like tricking her, you know, like she must think that we always do it this way.”

  79. Nina says...

    My 3 year old baby cousin cracks me up! I was walking her down a huge stair case down to the beach where you have to take your shoes off before going to the sand. When we got down to the bottom of the stairs she thrusts out her foot and says:
    Take my shoes off!
    Me: Do you not know how to take your shoes off? (As I’m taking her shoes off)?
    Her: Yes but sometimes I just don’t want to.
    God love her.

  80. Abbe says...

    So I already commented once on this post, but I am dying laughing remembering one more gem from a few year’s ago: my then-3-year-old daughter’s version of the lyrics to The Little Mermaid’s “Part of Your World”:

    “…Wandering freak…wish I could be…fart of your worlddddd…..”

    • Claire says...

      I’m dying!!!

  81. Aliya says...

    Lol at Anton’s comment about friends’ names. My daughter just started preschool, and I hear this ALL the time! So funny!

  82. Bethany C. says...

    My four year old daughter coughed a little bit, then said, “Ugh, I’ve been feeling sick these years.” Now I think of this anytime I hear someone cough.

  83. emily says...

    My daughter isn’t talking yet, but out of nowhere she has started growling. Her new thing is to chug down her bottle, throw the empty across the room, pound her chest and growl. She’s like a baby Frank the Tank.

    • ana says...

      hahaha! Brilliant!

  84. Lisa says...

    My 2.5 year old is just starting to talk so much (the 9 month old less so, though I swear she said “buggy” today).
    Things he’s said / done recently –
    He randomly started saying “eh” like a Canadian at the end of sentences. We live in London and I don’t know if he’s ever actually met a Canadian in his life.
    We are staying with my in laws (in France) at the moment, and I came through from making dinner to find him and his aunt lying on the sofas “relaxing”. I’m sure he needs to after a hard day of being the centre of the universe and playing.
    He is OBSESSED with the rubbish truck that does a collection every evening here and it’s now turning into a big event – one night the whole family were waiting for them to turn up. The rubbish collection men all say “bonjour!” And know his name, and last night as the truck was driving away he said “night night! Faire [make] nap time!” (We may be using “truck is having naptime” as a motivator for him to go to bed)

    • Sophie says...

      Does he hang out with anyone from New Zealand? Kiwis do the “eh” thing all the time, and there’s certainly a lot of us in London!

  85. Amy says...

    My little one said to me as we were sitting on the couch reading a book, “Mama you smell like pencil shavings!” Ha! And later that day handed me a note when I was on the phone that said, “Dada’s whistling reminds me of hummus, because I’m sick of it too.” Haha!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahah that’s perfect!

  86. irene says...

    These are some of my favorite quotes from my son:

    “I was born on my birthday, you know.”

    “Do you have a scrotum, Mama?”

    While teaching him about the states of matter:
    “Oh, so you mean poop is solid, pee is liquid and fart is gas?!” I guess, he got it!

  87. Jenny T says...

    3 year old: When I am a grow-en up, I will buy you a rainbow dress to match my rainbow dress.
    Me: When will you be a grown up?
    3 year old: In two weeks.

  88. Oh my gosh, these little conversations melt my heart and make me grin ear to ear. You are raising such sweet, hilarious little boys! Our son is only 6 months so we are years away from this stage but I look forward to it (but am soaking up the current stage of course!).

    I love the photo of them peering down on you guys before you headed out for your date (and then the photo of them with you before the date). I remember my parents going on dates when I was a little girl. When they got home my mom would come in to check on me and I’d always wake up and ask what they each had for dinner. When I was in college and friends would go on dates, I would always ask what they had for dinner because it was so ingrained in me!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      that is such a sweet memory, lisa. i remember the same, when my parents would dress up and go to dinner. my mom always smelled so good, and my dad’s cheeks would be SUPER soft because he would have just shaved. it’s very intoxicating as a little kid to see that peek of grown-up life! :)

    • june2 says...

      Intoxicating is just the word. I still remember how special it felt when they dressed up to go out – I suppose it was amazing to see them on another level, looking – and smelling – their best, and to grasp that they had a grown up life outside of the family. Very interesting what an impact that makes!

  89. Anne says...

    I love these posts. My 4-year-old is a huge talker and I can literally sit with him for hours just having conversations about all things.

    Today he told me (very melancholy) “I don’t want to be a grown-up. I just want to be me”. Breaks my heart.

    He also loves to rhyme, but that is all in Danish and doesn’t translate well.

    • Frankie says...

      My five year old daughter said exactly that the other day. In context of “what do you want to be when you grow up” kind of question that we adults so often pepper little kids with. She said “I don’t want to be a doctor or a dancer or a worker I just want to be me!”
      Same kid, same.

    • Anne says...

      So sweet – and so relatable!

  90. Toby’s calendar!! Oh man, I love that so much.

    My daughter is 2.5 so she is busting out with so many hilarious and random things lately. She talks a LOT about how she has a baby in her tummy (one of her teachers is pregnant), and when I get frustrated with her, she says, “you’re hurting the baby in my tummy.”

    This morning on the way to school…
    Toddler: I’m two and a half!
    Me: Do you know how old Mommy is?
    Toddler: No.
    Me: 34!
    Toddler: Like a monkey?

    Seriously I don’t know what is going on in that coconut shell of hers…

  91. Madeleine says...

    My just 2YO daughter’s first sentence was to my brother (aka Uncle Chris) when we were all in holiday recently: “shhhhh, Mummy’s sleeping”. Made all the more perfect by the fact that he was getting her breakfast, as I was- obviously- sleeping. #IWin I could not love her more.

  92. Meg says...

    I’ll NEVER tire of my little people proclaiming out of the blue “ewww, you better not kiss mom!” Every time my husband will stop what he’s doing, come find me, and proceed with the most movie star dramatic smooch he can muster while the kids squeal and boo and cover their faces in disgust. (Or is it delight?) I know they secretly relish in knowing we’re in love and it melts my heart every time they begin the game. And the unexpected passionate kiss is never unappreciated!

    • Julia says...

      That sounds so familiar to me! My little son repeatedly asks his Dad: “But do not kiss Mommy!” And even more will my husband and I enjoy a short, big kiss on our lips. ;-).

  93. C says...

    My 18 month old has brought to my attention how often we must call him baby because he puts the word at the end of everything now. “More please, baby. Thank you, baby. Nigh nigh, Mommy baby.”

    • Dee says...

      I’ve also got an 18month old -it’s such a hilarious age for verbalising. Our daughter has some individual words but her only phrase is ‘oh dear’ said with a wide variety of intonations- probably sums up how parenting is going for us so far!

    • E says...

      Yes, us too! She refers to herself as Baby, and now refuses things by saying “No, mine, baby!” Oookay.
      We’re working on teaching her her name now : )

    • Pam says...

      Same here – realized we called our kid “Baby Maya” too long cause she started calling us Baby Mama and Baby Daddy

  94. Cynthia says...

    Joanna, your dress is beautiful and looks fantastic on you!
    My girls are adults, but one Friday afternoon we went to my Mom’s and my oldest was singing and irritating her younger sister. Her sister said to her, “You burn my nerves up!”
    At one time, my brother lived out in the country. My oldest asked him, “Are there bears in your forest, Uncle Jimmy?” He said no bears, just a skunk.
    We were taking my mom to the grocery store. She said her cupboard was bare, and my oldest said, “Is there a bear in your cupboard, Granny?” My Mom explained to her that her cupboard was empty. Not really, my Mom always had food, but she was out of some basic items.

  95. shade says...

    For the past 4 nights in a row, my 5yr old son has been making me cards while he should be in bed, asleep. He comes out of his room and says “special delivery for mommy!” and hands me a drawing that he’s put inside some sort of little box. It melts my heart every time. My husband is a little jealous. :)

    • Liz says...

      that might be the cutest thing i’ve ever heard. : o

  96. Shan says...

    When we were house hunting, we’ve always brought our 3 kids along to viewings. One morning, I woke up to find my youngest boy (4yo) at the foot of my bed, wearing an old delegate badge from work and holding a clip board, telling an imaginary client that “this room can fit a queen size bed, so, you know, it is only for queens to stay in!”

    • ana says...

      I love this! Really made me laugh :)

  97. AJ says...

    This made me smile :) And you two ready for your date 😍 so gorgeous! So lovely that you captured the moment as family photos too :)

  98. Erin says...

    Just last week my son’s 2nd grade class had a meet the teacher night, and when I arrived there was a sweet note from him signed “your son and BFF” – I’ll be saving that one forever!

    • Meg says...

      Dawwwww! BFFs for life!

  99. Kristen says...

    I adopted my daughter at birth just over two years ago – and shortly there after wrote her a little song. (To the tune of “I love you Conrad” from Bye Bye Birdie)

    “I love you anna, oh yes I do-
    You are my biggest dream come true-
    The world is ready for you too-
    Oh anna I love you.”

    I sing it every night before bed. A month ago I am readying her for bed and says, “Anna’s Song.” (Requested for the first time!) As I began she started singing with me. Unmistakable, she knew every word.

    My heart broke and melted and doubled in size all at the same time.

    • so sweet!!!

    • Jodi says...

      Oh, my mom used to do something similar with me! She would cradle me every night in the shower and sing to me to the tune of an old Chinese song. She’d make up the words every time in Chinese, and they’d always be something that translates into, “Oh, my precious baby, my sweet, loved little baby. How I love you.” To this day, I still vividly remember that slow, lilting tune and the warm pattering of the shower, and how safe and loved I felt while she held me. If she’s anything like me, your daughter will remember this song forever, and the melody will always remind her of how much you love her.

    • Emily says...

      So sweet! I love this.

    • Gillian says...

      I love this! My husband sings “Daddy Loves Evie” (to the tune of Got tell Aunt Rody) to may now 8 to daughter Evelyn. His mother sang it to him (Mommy loves Holt) and her Aunt Evelyn (after whom my daughter as named) sang it to her. When my daughter was 6 she learned to play Go Tell Aunt Rody on the violin and played it for my mother-in-law. They were both tickled to hear their family song “Daddy loves Evie” played by Evie on the violin.

  100. Tiny Bubble says...

    My baby girl turned two month old yesterday. Last night, after crying for food, I put her on the breast feeding pillow, pulled down my shirt and told her “Look what I have!” At her age, she only knew two things so far, seeing things in focus and giving big broad smiles. She opened her eyes from crying, saw the boobs, gave me a big smile, cooed and dove right in.
    My husband who was sitting next to us witnessed the whole thing, almost died of cuteness overload.

  101. Lou says...

    Helleu, flies do have sex: the female extends a tube (the ovipositor) from the end of her abdomen that will later be used to lay the eggs. Then the male fly will sit on the female’s back, the ovipositor is inserted into the male’s genital opening and the sperm goes into the tube.

    Fun fact about the typical housefly: they can taste with their feet! And they eat by spitting digestive juices on food and then sucking it up, so they kinda eat outside their bellies :)

    If you want to know anything more about animals or plants, I’m happy to help (:

    • Alice says...

      That is so interesting and weird!
      You’re a dream conversationalist for my four year old!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      wow that’s fascinating, lou! thanks for the fun facts. do you work in science?

    • Lou says...

      I’m getting my B.Sci. in biology and have been studying for a biodiversity-exam (learning allll the plants and animals :)

  102. Laura says...

    Just last night my husband asked the kids the three most important things families teach you. My 7 year old said something like: work hard, support each other, etc. My almost 5 year old thought about it and finally said, “Take cover of the rain.” We are still puzzling over this one.

  103. I went to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant with a friend and her 3 yo daughter who did not like the food and kept asking for a piece of cake. My friend told her she needs to try some of the food first.

    When the waitress came over to ask us if everything was ok and if we needed anything else, the 3yo said loudly CAKE :)

    • Eloise says...

      Hahahaha! Reminds me of going to an Ethiopian restaurant and having my friend’s two-ish year old try to blow his nose with the enjara (probably not spelled right – the bread like substance the food is out on – however you spell it, it soaks up the juices and is amazing!).

    • Louisa says...

      We went out for Ethiopian and my then-3-year-old confidently ordered a quesadilla. The waiter didn’t bat an eye, brought her a veggie samosa, called it a quesadilla, and she ate it up :)

    • Abesha1 says...

      That’s especially funny because you’ll almost NEVER find an Ethiopian restaurant that has cake…! It’s not a thing.

    • STEFANIE says...

      similarly we were on a road trip and stopped at a small cafe. our lunch came out and the server asked if we would like anything else. my then 6 year old said “Yes, Candy please!”

    • Kelsi says...

      I am dying laughing about the injera-tissue. So funny.

      We rarely take my son out to eat, but last year when he had just turned 3 we went out to eat. His order “I want some short pipes (penne) with parm-edge (Parmesan) and salad with carrots. HEY, what’s that stickin’ outta your face?” (Server had a nose piercing)

    • Maiz says...

      We still laugh about how when my son was three, we were trying to get him to use his fork, which he wasn’t that into. One night, he looked down at his pasta dinner and innocently asked, “Is this Ethiopian food?” He really wanted to eat it with his hands!

      (He’s fourteen now, and still makes that same joke.)

  104. Millie says...

    Last weekend my boyfriend’s son asked me about my Fitbit: “Does it tell you how many days you have left to live?”

    • Liv says...

      Oh I love this- hahahaha!!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, haha, that’s so terrifying/adorable at the same time! anton asked me the other day if he could dig up a grave in order to see a skeleton in real life.

    • katie says...

      kids can be so morbid! when i talk about someone dying, my 5 yo often asks if she can see a video of them dying. :0

  105. Ashley says...

    I have two nephews that are 3 & 3.5 right now, and they are STINKING HILARIOUS! They’re getting to be so articulate & independent & you cannot tell them what to do. It’s heartbreaking how much I love them but also how they’re getting to be these little people with all these thoughts & feelings all their own.
    The other day me and one of them were taking our nightly walk around the neighborhood, counting basketball hoops, naming the colors of the flowers, talking about ALL THE SPRINKLER HEADS.
    We saw a beautiful yellow mustang. When I asked him what color it was he said “Lellow. It’s lellow. So pretty. Did someone pee on it?” I laughed so hard the neighbors must have wondered what was wrong with me!

  106. “I don’t know their names! I can’t know everybody’s name!” made me laugh out loud at my desk. Too hilarious/sweet/spot-on!

  107. clermont says...

    This morning on the way to daycare my almost 4 yo daughter asked “when are you going to be little so that I can be the mommy and you can be the baby?” She then went on to explain that her brother (17 months) would be the daddy and my husband would be the sister. I responded by suggesting that I’d rather her not be a mommy until she is all grown up and she said “but I’m already growed up. See how tall I am.”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      awwwwwwwww

    • Christy says...

      My daughter says often, “when I grow big and you grow into a baby…” She thinks grown-ups grow down while kids grow up. Pretty sweet!

    • Courtney says...

      We had a book about this when I was growing up! It’s called When You Were Little and I Was Big by Priscilla Galloway.

  108. “How long until I’m older than toby?” LITERALLY ME!! I used to ask my Mom, Dad, Gran – anyone who would listen – when I would be older than my older Sister!!

    Rebecca | http://www.peppermintdolly.com

  109. Kait says...

    My 2.5 year old woke up one morning last week and decided she wanted to wear underwear. She had one rough day of many accidents and has been going on the potty ever since! The first time she told ME she had to pee on the potty and she successfully sat down and went, she started crying. I was very concerned that she had a UTI or something and asked her what was wrong…she said, “Mommy, I’m so PROUD of myself!” I wept. I never knew the depth of emotion potty “training” would bring out in all of us!

    • Jeannie says...

      my daughter is almost 2.5… this was so sweet!!!

    • Ashley says...

      I teared up just reading it! Congrats on the big girl!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      what a sweetheart xoxooxoxo congratulations to her!

    • anna says...

      so awesome

  110. Tess says...

    My almost 3 year-old when asked what she thinks we should name her baby brother, “Zazu (blue bird from The Lion King), because I am Simba and I can pounce on him!” Uh oh.

  111. Starlene says...

    When my son was 6 (he’s now 28!) he came home from school and told me his teacher was gay. I asked how he knew and he said “she told us”. I was totally confused so asked him to tell me exactly what she said. “Class, this weekend I got gay! I’m getting married!”.

    She got engaged. I still laugh thinking about it.

  112. Caitlin says...

    My daughter just turned four and had a lot of nightmares, and very sweetly she calls them “nightnares.” If she is having an unpleasant daydream, she will call it a “day nare” or a “this morning nare.”

  113. Gillian says...

    My 8 yo daughter has gotten very into pop music recently, especially Taylor Swift. So now when we get her 2 yo brother up he is often sitting in his crib singing “Play, Play, Play…Hate, Hate, Hate…Shake off! Shake off!

    Their 5 yo brother likes the song Uptown Funk: “Don’t believe me, Dishwash!”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      dishwash!! lolol.

    • Kendall says...

      My daughter went through a Trolls phase and when JT sings “I can’t take my eyes up off it” in “Can’t Stop the Feeling” my daughter always sings “and I take my ibuprofen!” Honestly, I still sing the wrong lyrics to songs and I’m 35. Haha.

    • emily d says...

      wrong lyrics are my favorite! my 3 1/2 year old is always singing “snuffle train, i’m leavin’…” (bob marley’s “stop the train”) and “i’m all fine, i’m all fine, FIREBALL” (pitbull – our awesome nanny is also a zumba teacher and plays her playlists for them haha).

  114. Lynn says...

    This is hilarious… I’d like to share.
    My 7 year old and my 2 year old are playing store.
    7 year old: “Will this be debit or credit”
    2 year old: “…. um…. Credit”.
    Clearly I shop too much with them.

    • valentina says...

      Even the “um… credit” is accurate! I never know if it matters when I use my debit card! LOL

  115. April says...

    My four year old likes to say he’s a “little sick” and “I need medicine to feel me better”. After he drinks it, he immediately says he feels better!

    • Nadine Hughey says...

      Every bandaid applied to my daughter worked the same way…no need to even keep it on!

    • Erin says...

      My older son, now 8, went through a band-aid obsession phase when he was a toddler. He once tried to convince me that a smear of tomato sauce on his hand was an owie because then he could get a band-aid. Another time he said “I have an owie because I want a band-aid.” :)

  116. Rachel Mandel says...

    My son is just starting to say basic words (he is 11.75 months- NOT a year yet:). He recently learned the word “no” and his daycare teacher told me that she had to redirect one of his friends and he promptly crawled over, wagged his fat little finger, and said “no no no”. Such a sweet little hall monitor I am raising!

  117. Stephanie says...

    Toby’s little toenails!
    Joanna, you and Alex seem to be raising the most wonderful tiny humans. Though I’m sure they’ve got their bad days, every bit of them you share with us is utterly charming. I hope one day my husband and I can have a family as sweet as yours.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you so much, stephanie. definitely lots of bad days / wobbly moments / meltdowns etc but they’re all worth it in the end :) :) :)

  118. andrea says...

    My nine year old son is walking around with painted toes too! Orange and red though…just love it!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      yes! so many little boys around here paint their nails or toes now and then. makes me happy :)

    • Naseem says...

      I love Toby’s toenails! I recently decided that as an almost 30 year old, I could decide to paint one color on one hand (super hot pink) and another color on the other (beautiful red wine color called We The Female by OPI). Made me secretly and quietly very happy every time I caught a glimpse of TWO COLORS at the same time. Love the way you parent, Joanna and Alex!

    • Sara says...

      When my 6 year old asked to paint his nails I happily obliged but did say “You should know some people might look strange at this or even say something because they think it’s a girl thing. Of course, that’s silly because it’s just paint and colourful and fun and that should be for anyone.” He looked at me like like I was crazy and with such confidence said “Mom, ALL the kids in my class paint their nails!” Well then.

  119. Lee says...

    At lunch the other day, a family friend asked my 7-yr-old cousin what she wanted to be when she grew up. Her answer: “I’m gonna get a husband and then sleep around ALL day!” The grownups couldn’t stop laughing and she couldn’t figure out what was so funny. She just wanted to nap! : )

    • Abby says...

      Oh gosh I have tears welling up while I try to keep in the laughter at the desk!

  120. I really love those boys.

    Also, Jo, that color looks STUNNING on you 😍

  121. celeste says...

    You look beautiful and I’m so glad you got to enjoy dinner out together!

  122. Amanda says...

    I think Anton hears songs the same way I do, lol!

  123. Raks says...

    Posts about their conversations give me life. They’re so cute, smart and adorable! You’re raising some thoughtful young men!

  124. Lena says...

    My 4 year old to our dinner guests last night:
    “What do you like better?”
    ….with no follow-up instructions for our guests to compare/contrast which things they like better. When we tried to get some clarity on his question he thought we were just ignorant fools. “No, no, no, what do YOU like better?!”
    So we moved on to a conversation about what they liked best within whatever categories they chose. :)

  125. Astrid says...

    Absolutely love these, the “evolution” one made me laugh out loud! 💚

  126. BK says...

    Thank you for using the inclusive language “kids in your life” rather than “your kids.” It’s subtle, yet empowering. Due to complicated chronic health issues, I’m too sick to have kids+my husband spends 40+ outside of his day job taking care of me. We are crazy about our nieces and nephews and close friends’ kids. Thanks for using such kind, inclusive language!

    • Abby says...

      Such a small thing, such a big impact! Thanks Joanna!

  127. I love these posts! Anton and Toby are the cutest, and inspired me to start writing down what my little guy was saying when he began to talk.
    At the ripe age of four, he has A LOT to say, but some of the latest gems are:

    “John Lennon didn’t die, he went on a long trip with George.”

    After going down a big blow up slide at a street fair (and facing his fears): “Mama, it was like going down the tale of a big whale in the great, big ocean!”

    We have a new baby girl and a lot of girl power-type books that we’ve been reading as a family and he has really taken to them. Unrelated, he is super obsessed with boats and pretends to be a captain. The other day:
    “I’m the captain of a really big ship today. Rosa Parks is my first mate. Bader Ginsburg is here too.”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      omg!!! “I’m the captain of a really big ship today. Rosa Parks is my first mate. Bader Ginsburg is here too.”

      love this so much.

      anton has gotten really into jane goodall recently and it makes me so happy :)

  128. Abbe says...

    7-year-old daughter:
    1. “Did you know people have a sweet tooth?! But no one knows which one it is!”
    2. [Smelling her very yummy-smelling hair detangler]: “Ugh…my dreams are REAL.”
    3. “When I’m a grown-up I’m DEFINITELY going to have a baby. Remind me to do that.”
    4. “Mom, when will I be 100 HOURS old?” “100 hours is like four days.” “WHAT?!”

    • Lindsey says...

      I like this kid so much.

  129. CathyMA says...

    My almost 13 year old daughter crying a few weeks ago when she got her first period: “Why don’t boys get a period?!”

    Me: “because they don’t have a uterus.”

    Her: “WHY DON’T THEY HAVE A UTERUS?!!!!!!!”

    :)

  130. Megan G. says...

    I always love hearing what your boys have to say, Joanna.

    My 3.5-year-old daughter makes me laugh out loud on the daily. Recently, she couldn’t think of the word, “thirsty,” so she said, “I’m really drinky.”

    She also LOVES Altoid mints, but when I offered her one recently, she asked, “Why? Is my ‘breaf’ stinky?”

    I love her.

  131. Abbey Leroux says...

    I’m a nanny. My 5-year-old bestie and I were having a leisurely lunch at the Grove in LA when we heard a rooster crow — of all things! After some wild speculation as to what it was doing in the middle of a city next to a mall he said… “Well put them back in the desert so they don’t cockadoo here! Cuz that’s not available, right?”
    This is why I nanny. A million other reasons. But also, definitely, this.

  132. MelTown says...

    My oldest (of three, aged 6) recently learned the basics of sex from a friend, but was skeptica. When she came to me she said:
    6: My friend said to make a baby grownups put their privates together. Is that true?
    Me: Yes, but it’s only for grown ups when they both really want to do it.
    6: Did you and daddy do it when you wanted to have a baby?
    Me: Yes
    6: Ok…*long pause for computing*…*eyes widen*…ALL THREE TIMES?!?

    Apparently once was ok, but three times was too many!

    • Sarah says...

      I love this explanation – “it’s only for grown ups when they both really want to do it.” Filing that away for future use!

  133. Oh, I so needed this reason to smile today!!!

  134. Tessa says...

    Last week, in a dinner time conversation about middle names (my son’s last name is hyphenated, so it’s somewhat confusing whether he has 2 middle names or 2 last names), I was explaining that his middle name came from one of his great-grandfather’s, when he responded that his middle name was not that–he had decided it was something else. When we queried what it was, he responded that his middle name is “Beep-beep honky”. Since then, he’s decided that his entire name is made of various sounds–“Toot beep-beep honky weee-oh” (so, 3 horns and a siren). So hilarious!

    • Emily says...

      I laughed very hard at this, I see it in my future with my almost 2 year old!

  135. Jean says...

    Not recent, because my daughters are both adults now, but when she was little my daughter would say she had done something ‘all on my own self’ instead of ‘I did it on my own’, and also ‘…and all my skin fell off’ instead of ‘I jumped out of my skin’. We still say them now, and they still make me laugh.

  136. Just heard this one by my friends kid on his dad traveling to Taiwan for work: “But what do you have to go to Taiwan? Why don’t you go to Tai-two?”

  137. Caitlin Scott says...

    So my 15-month old is mostly just saying small words like “car” and “truck” and making animal sounds like “moo” and “neeiiiighhhhh” (said just like a real horse). He also does this billy goat laugh thing that’s a big hit with family and strangers. The other day, thanks to some cool friends, we put him in in the passenger’s seat of a bright red, fully restored 1941 Ford truck. He was quiet for a second as he took everything in, and then he gripped the steering wheel with both hands and said, “WOW!!” followed by the billy goat laugh. I will never forget that.

  138. Jean L. says...

    This is the sweetest.

  139. Liv says...

    My 7-year old son in the car-
    ‘Mom, I’m going to ask for a plasma rifle for Christmas this year’
    Me- What’s a plasma rifle?
    Him- ‘You’re a grown woman and you don’t know what a plasma rifle is?!!’

    • Sheila says...

      This made me LOL. I can hear the disdain in his voice asking how dare you not know what that is!!!! Out of the mouths of babes!

  140. Lauren B says...

    My current favorite malapropism is when my almost-4 year old pretends to read Dear Zoo to me: “They sent me a camel, but he was too BUMPY, so I sent him back!”
    The text says “grumpy”, but I love the idea of a camel’s humps being too bumpy.

    • Louisa says...

      Same!! My daughter says the camel is “too lumpy!”

  141. kiki says...

    my son, almost 5, asked me the other day “mama. what is inside of bones?” “hmmmm…I’m not sure, cartilage?” I responded. “NO. mama. cartilage is what connects your bones and muscles together! what is inside?!” i laughed and laughed…he’s totally right!

  142. Aly says...

    I tried to explain to my almost five year-old son that some apples are sprayed with pesticides, and he furrowed his brow and said, “Apples don’t have pesto on the side!”

  143. Emily says...

    My three-year-old has started narrating his life. He’ll say something like, “Mom Calvin and I are playing with cars now.” And then in a whisper: “, he suggested.”

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahahahahahah

    • Caitlin says...

      My daughter did this when she was three, as well! She would plot her mischievous plans outloud, like “First I am going to to sneak into the living room and Mama won’t see me. Then I will go outside and make a snowman.”

  144. Sequoia says...

    I recently found out that I was expecting a boy and I went back to the piece you did on being a boy mom. I loved the insights provided there but these “in conversation” pieces that you do make my heart swell and I can’t wait to get to know this little guy in belly. Thanks so much for sharing.

    -Also, Killer polish Toby, I see you!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh my gosh, that’s so sweet, sequoia! congratulations xoxo

  145. Laura C. says...

    My girls (7 and 5) make a lot of funny conversations of their own. Sorry because lately I haven’t been able to take some notes of them!
    Joanna I love you children! Anton and his pretend ukulele is my life actually.
    But you know the real question: is there a story behind Toby’s painted nails?
    Xoxo

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh yes! he just asked to paint them, and he went for the combo of black and red. that’s it really haha :)

    • Laura C. says...

      He’s so awesome Joanna ❤️

  146. Elise the Elder says...

    Wonderful. What fun to read those sweet, honest comments. And the Dress! The Blue Dress. Please, some information. A lovely family.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      thank you, you’re the sweetest. it’s from anthropologie! http://bit.ly/2ph2DAC

  147. Louisa says...

    I love their quotes and I love knowing that my daughter isn’t going to outgrow the amazing-quotes age any time soon. My favorites from the last week…

    4 year old:
    I don’t like the dark. And every time I close my eyes, IT’S THERE!

    Also:
    I don’t think you ever really close your eyes. You just put your eyelids over them.

    And:
    Me: Jane, is Gemma’s sister Anna or Hanna?
    Jane: I don’ t know. Just call her Karen.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahaha too cute!!

    • Liv says...

      Oh my gosh- dyyyyyying! Ha!!

    • Laura C. says...

      Louisa, your daughter is the boss! Just call her Karen😂

    • ana says...

      ‘Just call her Karen’ is like a line out of Devil wears Prada. LOL!

    • Mariette says...

      I love this. Made me laugh out loud!

  148. Emily says...

    My boys are two and know that mommy loves to drink her coffee. This morning, I poured a mug and sat down at the table as they were eating breakfast.
    Everett: “Mommy drink coffee.”
    Me: “Yes, I’m drinking my coffee.”
    Everett: “Mommy’s coffee hot. ”
    Me: “Yep, Mommy’s coffee is very hot.”
    Everett: “Mommy tough!”

    • Blythe says...

      Awww!!

  149. Katie says...

    My four-year-old daughter had a nightmare the other night. I tucked her back into bed, but left before she fell asleep because I wanted her to know she could do it on her own. The next morning I told her how proud I was that even though she was scared, she went back to sleep by herself. She looked up at me over her bowl of cereal and said, “yeah, Mommy, did you hear me drying my tears?”