Design

Have a Lovely Weekend.

Flowers

What are you up to this weekend? Alex has been traveling non-stop for work, so I’m happy to have him back in my clutches. (And also to not be spooked at night!) We’re taking the boys to Jane’s Carousel and out to dinner with friends. Hope you have a good one, and here are a few fun links from around the web…

12 people share the advice that changed their lives.

Have you heard of Daily Harvest? I’ve gotten really into their food, especially their chocolate and blueberry smoothie. (They’re offering Cup of Jo readers three free cups off their first order with code CUPOFJO.)

This documentary about three identical strangers looks so compelling.

I want this to be my new work uniform.

I didn’t wear makeup at my wedding.” (NYTimes)

Did you know that storytellers read aloud to Cuban cigar rollers? Loved this.

These Portuguese plates make me want to throw a party.

Hahahaha.

Yum, a fresh spring lunch.

Is it okay to drink the water you left out overnight?

An open letter to the guy who didn’t believe my ethnicity even though it was none of his business.”

And bravo to the Southwest Airlines pilot and her nerves of steel. (Washington Post)

Plus, a great reader comment:

Says Rebecca on putting ice in wine: “I lived in Williamsburg, Virginia, during law school, and it is terribly hot there most of the time. Two sweet old ladies lived next door to me, and every evening they would be out on the porch, drinking a glass of white wine with ice cubes and noshing on Cheez-Its. Coming home every day to such a happy scene helped to keep me grounded during those three intense years.”

xoxoxo

(Photo by Elizabeth Cronin.)

  1. Kate says...

    The “no makeup at my wedding” article made me laugh. I suppose one of kind of “minimalism” is flying an aesthetician from LA to Europe to do daily facials on you with 70 skincare products…I feel like all of a sudden we are all supposed to spend hundreds of dollars on serums and creams and facialists to have perfect skin in order to look “natural”. It’s just a new version of getting women to buy stuff to feel better about themselves…

  2. The first thing I thought of with the identical strangers was that episode of Friends when Joey finds his identical hand twin and now I can’t stop laughing!

  3. Sarah Bradley says...

    My husband is a Southwest pilot and I am beyond happy with the outcome of the engine failure. But what I wish the media would mention is that although the Captain had nerves of steel on the audio recording, the First Officer was the one flying. It’s always one pilot on the radio, one in control of the plane. They alternate every other flight. So although she was calm and collected, the First Officer is the one who safely landed the plane with a hole in the cabin and one engine. I wish he would be getting some gratitude for this.

    And just one more thought … this in-air incident went 100% like pilots are trained to handle. The FAA training and two pilots who were skilled in the ability to handle emergencies is what saved everyone on board.

  4. ARC says...

    “An open letter to the guy who didn’t believe my ethnicity even though it was none of his business.” Oh, I can so relate to it: I am white, but I have a European accent, so people feel entitled to ask stupid questions, or rude questions all the time. Why is it anyone’s business where I come from, if I speak German to my children, if there were Nazis in my family (yes, really!). If these questions come in a conversation, that’s fine, but the cashier at Home Depot, or some person somewhere. And especially when I respond to the “where are you from” question that I am from Alameda, California, because I have lived there for 20 years. For some people that’s not a sign that I am not interested in a conversation about my heritage. Sigh.

  5. Stella says...

    The big take-away from the make-up article should be that women have the ability to choose for themselves! It would take a woman the same amount of bravery to go from normally worn natural face to full expression as it would a full expression to go naked face. Women who love make-up and what it does for their confidence/artistic expression – do you! Women who want it more natural – do you!

  6. lomagirl says...

    I wore makeup to my wedding (minimal) but I don’t wear it anymore in my regular life. Life is too short to apply makeup and then take it off again- and I am very fair, so even a small amount is super dramatic.
    I was talking to a friend about maybe putting makeup on for job interviews- he said I’d be going in drag!

  7. Sasha says...

    When my husband is gone I love having the bed all to myself, but I definitely got freaked out by some night time creaking noises when he was gone for awhile (or even sometimes when he was there beside me). The best solution was to get a dog, that way you have someone to keep you company and pet when you are watching TV at night, and I know he will wake me up by barking if there’s some sort of problem (I sleep upstairs while he snoozes downstairs by the front door).

  8. Megan says...

    I saw Three Identical Strangers at a film festival a couple of months ago…it’s incredible! Such a roller coaster the entire time.

  9. Brita says...

    Having just finished “I’ll be Gone in the Dark” (which I LOVED! Great recommendation!) I’m also actively training my mind to focus on meditative and peaceful thoughts before bed. Was anyone else completely disturbed by the description of the Ransacker? The pale, oval baby face images really shook me. Either way, I too feel much more comforted when my fiancé is home at night!

  10. The water! I argue all the time with my husband regarding “leftover” water. I once asked him a glass of water and he handed me from a pitcher left from the previous night which tasted weird. He has no problem drinking it though.

  11. I have actually experienced a lot in my relationship, my husband never cared about me and I always did everything to make him happy. I have tried so many ways to find out what was distracting him but nothing worked.

  12. L says...

    I wore very little makeup for my wedding and did it myself and people were shocked at even that. My sister-in-law even went and got her makeup done professionally while the rest of the bridesmaids met at the venue where I did my makeup myself. I used Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer, mascara (which I wear every day) and a natural looking lipstick. I wanted to look like myself, so it was important to me that I kept my makeup minimal and did it myself.

  13. Katie says...

    There is a wonderful play called Anna in the Tropics by Nilo Cruz that takes place in a cigar factory where the lector reads aloud Anna Karenina. Highly recommend!

  14. Kimberly M. says...

    Being half Chinese and half a variety of Caucasian heritage I get asked this alot as I don’t seem to fit into any one category. Depending on my mood it annoys me or I am open to a discussion. I understand that people are curious but really can’t we all just live together nicely without categories?

  15. Anu says...

    I highly recommend that asparagus egg salad! I made it last week and it was a huge hit with me, my husband and my mother-in-law. Such an unusual and refreshing way of treating asparagus.

  16. Emily says...

    Regarding the article about advice that changed your life, learning to TRUST myself and that I can handle what life throws at me. Maybe not always gracefully, but I can trust in myself that I will be able to get through it.

    Also, a friend just recently told me about a TED talk with the premise that stress doesn’t have to be bad for you if you accept that it’s actually preparing you for something. In the last few days, every time I’m stressed I think “Okay, this is preparing me to get something done.” I’ve noticed that it immediately calms me down and I’m able to move on and get the things done.

  17. Robyn says...

    She flew an aesthetician from LA to Italy? She had facials and treatments for days leading up to the wedding? That is not low maintenance. That is not au natural. That is not empowering and bucking a trend. That is simply changing the social pressure to from one flavor to another.

    • Sue says...

      I couldn’t agree more. It’s so much more over the top than just wearing makeup. It’s ridiculous!

    • Sam says...

      Yes, thank you! I called BS on that in the article.

    • Em says...

      Hahah. Right on. Well said!

    • Julie says...

      SO agree! Also, I find it obnoxious that it is usually people with flawless skin bragging they are going sans make up. Ughh try dealing with acne and acne scars your entire life and you might not be so thrilled to go “au natural.”

    • ARC says...

      Yes, thank you, exactly my thought. Just to add my two cents to the whole discussion: why is it even worth an article if someone wears only a little make-up to her wedding? If wearing little make-up is considered “empowering”, I don’t know what to say. I did not grow up in the U.S., and I did my make-up for my wedding myself, because I did want to look like myself. I don’t think any of my friends in Germany “had her make-up done” either (and neither have any of my friends in California).

    • Amy says...

      So glad I’m not the only one who thought this!
      If going makeup free is about embracing what you actually look like and bucking social expectations, then an intensive regimen of facials and treatments isn’t any more authentic than plain ol’ foundation.

    • Mimi says...

      Amen. So glad you articulated this so well. All choices are valid and every bride looks radiant regardless…but vanity is vanity.

  18. Elizabeth says...

    Thanks so much for the article about Captain Shults. Her persistence to be a trailblazing pilot and her recent heroism are inspiring. If only I could be so focused and skilled and so human and caring in my work.

  19. As an Asian American I can strongly relate to the McSweeney’s article. It’s nice to hear someone else vent about similar frustrations I’ve also had!

  20. Nadia says...

    I’m not American but quite often communicate with ppl from US and all over the world.
    I’ve been asked about my ethnicity only by Americans. None of Australians, Indians, Pakistani and dozens of others would even be bothered to ask. And it’s the first question I suppose to receive from an American if he or she isn’t the ppl of color. Look, many of those asking aren’t racist at all but it’s still a sense of amusement when I’ve been introduced to an American and waiting when she or he asks what is your ethnicity.

  21. Jeannie says...

    Just wanna chime in that we got a 24/7 monitored home alarm system (BAy Alarm company) annnnd I have the GREATEST PEACE of mind ever now. For me, I just want another human in the home (woman, man, doesn’t matter) otherwise I sleep incredibly poorly from anxiety so I totally understand. Enter our home alarm system: I sleep soundly ALL the time. It’s well worth the monthly cost + contract to me ;P Just a tip for those who have 1) the same sleep-depriving anxiety that I do and 2) who do have a bit more expendable income to “invest” in this for your mental wellbeing (oh, and I guess the security benefits LOL).

  22. Abesha1 says...

    A little tinted moisturizer, mascara, and lip gloss does no one any harm (get natural products, by all means) and is a hell of a lot cheaper, and friendlier to the planet, than flying an aesthetician with 70 beauty products halfway around the world.
    Any anyway, that’s only “not makeup” in the strictest sense of the word…

    She did look lovely… wealth often has that effect on people.

    • Eunice says...

      lol.. love that final sentence!

  23. Maggie says...

    Joanna, you are certainly not the only one who doesn’t like being the only grown up at home overnight! My husband travels constantly for work and no matter how much meditation I do, happy books I read, or upbeat podcasts I listen to, I’m still spooked at night and have a hard time sleeping. Being responsible for two little ones by yourself overnight is daunting. Thank you for being real, as always, and reminding us that 1) we don’t have to be perfect and 2) we’re not alone in our fears.

  24. Alyse says...

    As someone who doesn’t wear makeup a lot in my daily life, I did my own makeup for my wedding and used only a little bit of neutral eyeshadow, mineral powder, mascara, and sheer lip balm. I felt beautiful. I know some ladies love makeup and they look beautiful too! But I loved feeling like myself and letting that pressure go on an already hectic day.

  25. The open letter article hit home for me. I’ve had almost identical conversations (also explained that I’m from CA) except I’m Chinese. The response I got was pretty much the same. “You can’t be from CA, you’re Asian.” (I didn’t realize that is an anomaly). “You’re so tanned”. “You don’t have slanted eyes”. “Your English is so good”. “Say something in Chinese”. (I speak Chinese but we mostly speak English at home, and so do many other Asian Americans). “You speak English with your family?…but you’re Chinese”. “Are you sure you’re Chinese”? It’s frustrating that some individuals feel justified to ignore the truth even when it’s presented as if somehow they know better.

    • Bianca says...

      I am originally from India, raised in the Middle East, and now live in Toronto. I’ve even been told at a job interview that I speak “good English”. I’ve been asked “how come?” my parents speak English. They just do! They learned to read and write English, when they went to school in India. This article really hit home with me too.

  26. Jane says...

    I remember seeing those three identical brothers on Phil Donohue back in the day. I have never forgotten them. I can’t wait to see this movie!

  27. Elizabeth says...

    These Friday posts are a highlight of my week that I always look forward to <3

    Thank you, xo

  28. Elizabeth Wilcox says...

    Hi. I always enjoy your weekend collection of articles and links. Nice variety. Question: why do you include enticing links to WaPo and NYT stories that one cannot read if one doesn’t have a subscription??? A little frustrating.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      you can read a bunch of articles per month, and if you clear your cache you can read more! i want to link to these leaders of media a) to support them and b) because i think everyone will love the articles we link to.

    • Madeleine A Northcote says...

      Appreciating the addition of which media source it is. I LOVE the NYT, but I blow through my articles quickly, due to unattributed links like these! As a Canadian student, it just isn’t in the cards for me to get a subscription right now, so each article is precious!

    • Diana L. Tisdale says...

      I do appreciate the labels! It was frusterating to use one of my 10 articles for an article I was only mildly interested in. I’m a rule follower so I don’t clear my cache, haha. I usually use 10 on my phone and 10 on my laptop though.

    • Mrun says...

      My tip- open cupofjo in incognito mode on your browser. That way any new links open in incognito and you never have to worry about using up your free articles, the cookies and cache are wiped as soon as you close your browser.

    • Rachel says...

      Yes, you can definitely clear the cache to read more articles. But you can also buy a subscription. We need to support our media and press and if people expect to just read all the news for free, that is not supporting them.

  29. Jenn says...

    I loved the life changing advice, especially “You can do hard things”. Such a nice reminder.

    I always say to myself (and to younger classmates/colleagues/friends) “They’re just people” when they get nervous about talking to a professor, or asking someone out, or appearing before a judge (I’m a lawyer).

    I’ve been lucky to meet and/or work for some really impressive people (two US Presidents!) and it’s so easy to get intimidated and look at your boss/teacher/etc. as having some mystic power over you. But they’re just people. And if you treat them with the same kindness and respect you treat your dry cleaner, it all works out! It’s basically “we all put our pants on one leg at a time” without sounding like the start of a corny dad joke, lol.

  30. riye says...

    My bf is the one that doesn’t like being alone–even at home. When he dog sits for his parents he texts every 10 minutes to describe “that scary noise” he just heard or complain about the dogs. :-D

    (sigh) I can relate to that open letter. It always amazes me how clueless some people are. I’m surprised the rude person didn’t ask why the writer wasn’t wearing a kimono (been asked that plus the language question).

  31. Vero says...

    I think not wearing makeup to an event where makeup has (at least recently) been basically required is amazing. However, what strikes me as a liiiitle misleading about the title is that this woman flew an aesthetician with her to Italy! To me, that is kind of on par with being overly obsessed with appearance, even though it isn’t specifically makeup. Doing things that contribute to the real health of your skin is definitely different than makeup, and I think looking as much like “you” as possible is commendable, but this just feels like it’s still a sideways jump where women are expected to put an immense amount of time, care and money (a plane ticket to Italy and an aestheticians fee, 70 products!) is still creating unrealistic expectations for women to live up to.

    • Vero says...

      The grammar certainly isn’t perfect in my comment! I get frustrated when I see something that is touted as being a sort of liberation for women, when in fact it is the same old dynamic just in a different package. Grumble grumble.

    • Jenny says...

      THANK YOU! I thought the exact same thing!!!

    • rachel says...

      forget your grammar, the sentiment is right. my eyes rolled back in my head when i read the sentence about the aesthetician.

    • Sarah K says...

      I agree, I felt like I’d been deceived when I got to that point in the article. Of course makeup wouldn’t be necessary if you had a personal esthetician flown to Italy for your wedding. Massive eye roll. I’m all for people making whatever makeup choice they please, and I’m totally on board with prioritizing skincare over makeup, but the article presented it as this sort of ground-breaking authenticity move and then did a bait and switch. Not good journalism, in my opinion.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      wow, i had somehow missed that part! that definitely misses the point.

    • Cait says...

      Just as a reminder, some women don’t wear makeup because it’s an expectation, or because they are oppressed. Lots of women, like myself, truly enjoy the artistic expression that comes with makeup. I have a blast in Sephora checking out new colors, shimmers, etc, bc I think that the products themselves are beautiful and I feel pampered using them. When my boyfriend and I get married, I wouldn’t be looking like myself if I didn’t have some makeup on. That doesn’t make me un-feminist or just following along with “expectations.”

    • Holly says...

      Totally agree. One woman flew an aestethician to Italy and another seemed to have perfectly glowy skin. I would’ve also not worn as much makeup to my wedding if I had skin like that. But I do actually regret wearing as much makeup as I did. The line about her wedding not being work but a celebration of love made me tear up a little. I wish I had been able to approach my wedding like that. But it didn’t seem possible at the time, especially when many of the wedding guests were my spouses’ coworkers!

    • el says...

      Exactly how I felt! I came back here to the comments to see if anyone else was disappointed by this article. Love the Cup of Jo comments section! I was also sad to read the judgement from the bride about her friends who chose to wear makeup at their weddings: “They plastered on foundation, and to them that might look pretty, but not to me.”. Aren’t we striving towards women feeling free to present themselves to the world in any way they want without judgment or pressure?

    • Robyn says...

      Ha! I just left a very similar comment before reading through the comment thread. I find that article ridiculous. Same pressure, same pretense – different flavor. Zero empowerment, zero liberation. Same ‘ole same ‘ole. Eye roll.

    • Connie says...

      100% agree. She had a person with her whose full time job was making sure her skin looked great. I spent 30 minutes with a make up artist and called it a day. Not sure how her way is more natural.

    • Lauren says...

      I’m so glad you wrote this – I couldn’t agree more! i found the whole piece ridiculous – there is bugger-all liberating about essentially just going for a barely-there make-up look by using less make-up than usual or a boatload of skincare products. I appreciate that Laura (the article’s main case study) didn’t wear any make-up to her wedding, but the fact that she literally flew out her own facialist who had 70 (SEVENTY) products to use on her sort of pushes her off the moral high ground. (And I do think that whilst the moral high ground wasn’t specifically mentioned, that was the tone the article was taking).

    • Jessica says...

      I read that article yesterday and was appalled. Daily facials? Flying an “aesthetician” to Europe? 70 products? I had no idea that looking like one’s self could be so time-consuming and expensive! (I also hate that the NYT writes about extraordinary luxury like this and presents it as somehow normal/common.)

  32. M says...

    Hello Joanna – I do not have an instagram account. But. I love to view your photos. Can you PLEASE provide the author and complete title of the book you have on your desk “Bene”. This is not the first time I have noticed it and can not find anything when using google search. I am enamored of all things Italian. THANK YOU!!!

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh, thank you, M! it’s actually an independent magazine i edited in my twenties. it was a super fun project. i’ll try to scan some pages and share on the site :) thank you so much for asking.

  33. Laura says...

    my mom’s a tax accountant so luckily she’s the one that calls me so i can send her my W2. and that’s all i have to do. haha

  34. Sarah says...

    “An open letter to the guy who didn’t believe my ethnicity even though it was none of his business.”

    This makes me so angry. Who do people think they are, really? How can a man be so ridiculously overconfident in his own shallow outlook? Oh wait…

    Also PS- I’m white and an older white man once asked me where my ancestors were from. I said, “mostly Denmark.” And he said, “No they’re not. Your hair is brown and Danes have blonde hair.” Similar thing to Kasey, but obviously not as egregious. I really wanted to call him an idiot. First of all, I said “mostly.” Second of all, not all Danes are blonde. STFU dude.

    Okay, rant over. :/

    • nadine says...

      i’m with you on this. That does make me angry as well, I heard those kind of comments way too much..

      Rant over!

  35. Brianna says...

    I don’t think it’s sexist to feel safer with someone (male or female) at home with you. I always wait up for my brother and vice versa. We’ll both stay alone, but we both prefer when everyone is home.

  36. Elise says...

    Oh, my heavens. I have fallen in love with Jane’s Carousel. I remember going to a carousel growing up on Long Island. Since I am 73, it was a very long time ago. And I do not remember where it was. However, the experience is vivid in my memory. Thank you for the link to Jane’s Carousel, which stirred happy memories and a desire to donate to the “Grooming Fund.”

  37. Nassim says...

    The article that I loved most was the letter to the man who questioned the author’s ethnicity. This is something that I have dealt with my whole life, but even more so in the last five years (especially with today’s political climate). I am a first generation Iranian-American. I was born and raised in Wisconsin by my parents who moved to the U.S. after the revolution. America is and will always be my home. It is my only home for that matter. I have only been to Iran three times and each stay was no more than three weeks. However, at the restaurant I work at many of my customers ask me “Where are you from?” or “What is your nationality?”. I always answer “I’m from Wisconsin” and “I am American”. They always look at me so confused and respond “originally?”. And my answer back is always respectfully, “Yes. What makes me less American than you?”. They’re always so stunned by that answer, but it’s true. What I really want others to understand is to be more sensitive with words. Though we may be different based on our color skin, gender, sexual orientation, religion, or ethnicity, it does not make any of us “less-American”. With that, I truly appreciate what makes all of our stories, and America’s story, great.

    • Sarah K says...

      I think your question is a great one. Maybe they will think twice before they say something so bone-headed next time!

    • Hi Nassim! Another Iranian-American Naseem here :), except my dad is iranian (came just before the revolution) and mom is african American. I get the same question a lot. I look fully Ethiopian, and on two occasions two Ethiopians INSISTED that I was either adopted and didn’t know, and/or that I must be mistaken of my own identity and really be Ethiopian LOL. I’m very ethnically ambiguous and grew up in Bangkok and Germany, so when people ask where I’m from, I sometimes just through out a “Bangkok” or “Guess!” because it’s none of their business :)

      My boyfriend is Russian and Cameroonian, but grew up in Canada. I often wonder what people think of us when we are together. Do they think we are related? Or the same race? Who knows!

    • Abbe says...

      I love that response Nassim! I think a lot of people really don’t unpack why they feel entitled to ask those sorts of questions. Me looking “different” from your expectations does not mean you have carte blanche to ask about my personal history, it means you need to adjust your expectations about what American looks like.

  38. AC says...

    I just got my first Daily Havest box yesterday and I love it so much! Especially smoothies for breakfast. Have you tried making these with yogurt for more protein?

  39. Lily says...

    Call your dad! Laughing out loud at my desk. That was me every year from age 18-25.

    • Sarah says...

      Still my husband and I every year— we’re 31! Haha!

  40. Alexandra says...

    “Is it okay to drink the water you left out overnight?”

    No, because there is a 100% chance that the cat began drinking from it as soon as I fell asleep.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      hahahaha

    • Andrea says...

      No cat would leave a glass of water be, even after drinking it. Said glass would be knocked to the floor by said cat.

    • Denise says...

      True. A lonely water glass is an invitation for the cat.

    • The solution to this: a BKR water bottle. Kitty can’t fit his paw OR his tongue inside, so she’s stopped trying!

    • Erin says...

      Ohmygod yes. I just caught my cat doing this about a week ago when I woke up in the middle of the night, and I’ll never be the same after the realization that he’s probably been doing this every night for years. *Shudder*

  41. Carrie says...

    That open letter regarding her heritage: so.incredibly.rude! Wow!

  42. Kristen says...

    To not be scared at night? With the implication being that a man/your husband would protect you? Hrm. Also, that Turbo Tax “call your dad” business reads as pretty sexist to me. Second hrm.

    • Joanna Goddard says...

      oh, not at all! just that i always gets spooked when i’m home alone — if a friend or my sister or my mom or a roommate or any other adult is there with me, i’m totally fine. i just get nervous when i’m the only adult in the house. i’m sure i’m not the only one?

      PS fwiw, alex also gets spooked when he’s home alone! :)

    • Julie says...

      The implication being that some people, regardless of gender, would rather not sleep alone at night as the only grownup in the house. That’s how it reads to me, anyway! :)

    • I totally get spooked when my husband is out of town! Yes, I’m more afraid I’ll be murdered when he’s gone…especially if someone has been paying attention and knows I’m home without him, but also because I have three kids and if anything goes wrong (intruder, fire, whatever), that’s a lot of little bodies to keep safe on my own. Any other adult makes me feel safer (I mostly just want someone to reassure me that whatever sound I heard is nothing), but I do feel safest with my husband. I don’t think it’s sexist. I think it’s a good thing that I feel safe and secure with my partner. I assume if my partner was a woman I would feel the same way if she were gone. It’s human nature to feel safer in groups.

      As for the Turbo Tax article you’re assuming it was written as young woman asking her dad…the article doesn’t provide a gender. Sure, choosing the dad over mom is maybe a little sexist, but if you’re going to have a quibble I would pick ageism. (FWIW I think it’s fine. Not everything is offensive.)

    • Amanda G says...

      I get spooked when home alone, too! Especially when the dogs perk up at something (a ghost? a noise?) I can’t hear – gets me every time!

      As for the “call your dad” article – it’s supposed to be funny!! I fear a lot of people have lost their sense of humor the more we trend towards more rigid political correctness. In my case, it’s possible to be a female, a feminist, and an accountant (!) and still find the *parody* article funny.

    • eg says...

      Or maybe she is just happy to not be home alone with her children, whether the other adult is a man or not. And maybe the “call your dad” is just some dorky satire. Hrm indeed!

    • Kara says...

      I also get scared being the only adult in the house (and loved that you wrote that)! Whenever my cats drive me crazy I have to remind myself of the relief they provide me when I’m home alone: if I hear something and they’re laying there all chill, I know not to be scared. (On the other hand, I’ve turned all the lights on in the middle of the night for nothing because of my cats’ ears moving the wrong way…)

    • Em says...

      I get spooked when home alone, especially knowing if something were to happen I have 2 children to take care of. I’m with you, Jo, doesn’t have to be my husband that is there with me, just another adult to help ease the burden in an emergency!

    • Carrie says...

      That’s a little drastic. A person gets used to the ever-constant presence of their partner (especially at night!) regardless of gender. My husband worked two nights this week and I was totally freaked too. Of course I had just finished back-to-back books about serial killers, but still. It’s only natural to feel extra secure in the presence of one’s partner.

    • Stacey says...

      I bet the “call your dad” thing was just because the author of the article always called his/her dad for tax help – if I wrote it, it would be “call your mom,” because my mom is the tax genius in the family. Just because an article uses men as a generalization and not women doesn’t mean it’s sexist – it may just depend on the writer’s experience.

    • Laura says...

      such an interesting topic! i live alone so i’m not scared of sleeping along (lol) but idk how i’d feel if i had kids.

    • Rae says...

      Joanna, I have had the hardest time falling asleep when my husband is away ever since you mentioned the book “I’ll be Gone in the Dark.” To clarify, I haven’t read the book. I just read what you wrote about it and the Amazon blurb. The story is so deeply disturbing! And my husband works regular overnight shifts! And Kristen, he is bigger and stronger than me but mostly he is less easily spooked.

    • Claire says...

      I’m currently reading “I’ll be Gone in the Dark” (really enjoying it) AND I live in Sacramento minutes away from where a lot of the incidents happened. Wish me luck on ever sleeping soundly again lol

    • Yes – I get scared too.

      I lived alone for two years and wasn’t scared then…(took me about a month to get used to it) – but since moving in with my then bf/now husband my fears have returned – it really is about just having another adult in the house…

      regardless of their gender.

  43. I listened to the recording of Captain Shults landing the plane this morning and I am in awe. She was calmer living that moment than I have been reading about it. She is the definition of a badass.

  44. Jami says...

    I have always looked forward to your fun Friday suggestions but my absolute favorite part the last few months has been the highlighted reader comments. Life means I never see even a fraction of the wonderful comments following each of your articles so I appreciate you pulling out a few gems every week – thank you!

    • Lauren says...

      Agreed! I’m always so impressed with the little genius tweaks this team comes up with. I can remember the start of several series that now feel like classic Cup of Jo. The new-ish comments are just one more way they’ve made this blog feel like a genuine community here on the web.

  45. patricia Ferris says...

    That movie looks amazing! And if they ever make a movie about Tammie Jo Shultz (what a hero!), Kristin Wiig could play her.