Now that Alex and I have been together for almost ten years, I’ve realized…
…that as much as we love each other, little things also drive us bats.
For example, when we’re watching TV, Alex will absentmindedly rub his toes together in a way that makes noise. I used to ask, “Can you please stop moving your toes?” but now I’ve shortened it to just “Toes!” Even when we go to bed at night, we’ll cuddle up and chat about the boys and it’s all dark and cozy and then I’ll hear…. THE TOES.
When I asked him what makes him crazy about me, he said: “After making dinner, I always want to present this amazing dish, even if it’s just a quick pasta, and dive right in. But you’re always finishing one last task (usually 11 tasks), which means that ever since I’ve been cooking dinner for us, going back to 2008, pretty much every time I sit down to dinner, it’s cold.”
Of course, it would be impossible to live with anyone — your mom? your BFF? Thomas Shelby?! — without pushing their buttons. As psychologist Dan Wile said: “When choosing a long-term partner… you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unsolvable problems that you’ll be grappling with for the next ten, twenty or fifty years.”
And at the end of the day, these little things really don’t matter at all. They’re like the texture of your relationship, and remind me of movies where the older couple bickers in an adorable way. If Alex ever quit the habit of moving his toes while watching TV, I have to admit, in a strange way, I might actually miss it.
What small things drive you nuts about your partner? Be honest!